campus february issue

FEBRUARY 2012

Dedicated to the Ultras

IN THIS ISSUE

Features 10 An Interview with Barack Obama 20 Agnosticism in Egypt 24 Working Class Confessions Underscore 24 I Want to Victimize You! 26 Small World , Big Scandals Opinionated 34 Thank You, Captain Obvious!!

36 My Cat Is Transsexual CAMPUS Survey 38 Dark Secrets CAMPUS Quiz 40 How Islamophobic Are You? 42 Eye Candy Patterns 46 Trends 48 Fashion Bulletin 50 Made in Egypt 51 Just for Kicks Screens and Speakers 54 Wa Hala’ La Wein?

56 The Guitar Doctor Balls 60 When Sports Are Just Weird From the Readers 62 The Missing Edge 63 The Unleashed Capacity

Chairman Shady Sherif

Editorr in-Chief rLouis Greiss

Creative Director Leila Tap T ozada

Editors

Wessam Sherif Y Yasmin e Zohdi

Junior Editor

Youssef Saad Eldin Y

Business Development Ismaeel Khoudeir

Media Executive Zeina El Alfy f fy Ghada Zayed

Financial Manager Ehab A. Aziz

Chief Accountant Sherif El Haggar

FEBRUARY 2012

Accountant Ahmed Serag

Of ce Manager Offi Sylvia Peter

Of ce Assistants Offi Ibrahim Mansour Mohamed Eid

IT Manager Ahmed Saher

Production Executive Manager Sherif Mahmoud Mahmoud El Araby

Distribution Manager Shazly Eid

Distribution

Abdelhamed Fathy Ashraf Ramadan Gamal Moustafa Ramy Afifi Ragab Fathy Aly Afifi Aly Fawzy W eed Gilani Wal Abdel Aziz Abdel Rahman Mahmoud Samir

Art Director Ahmed Saad

Graphic Designers Bassem Raafat Nora El Gazzar Muhammed Abdelaal

Writers & Contributors Amy Quotb Farida Ezzat Hend Ghorab Mahmoud Mansi May Kamel Michel Antoun Mohammed Jamal Mosa'ab Elshamy Noha Fathi Sally Fakhr

Cover Credits

Muhammed Abdelaal

Heliopolis

69, Adidas (El-Marghany), y Africana Café, C&CO (Horreyya St- El Korba), y), Belino Café, Blueberry (Ard El Golf ), Beano's Café (British Council – El Korba – Ai Airport – British Brit University), y Charleston Café, Cortigiano, Café Mo, y), Cairo International national Airport Air ort or , Coff f ee Roastery ff ry, ry y, Colors, Cat, Diwan Bookstore, Diadora, Desire, e, Ever Every y Man’s Bookstore, Farah Café , Flower Market, G Live, Genga Café, Gelateria Roma Café, Harris Café, Gallery Bel3araby (El Nozha St.), House Café , Hope Flowers, Hot Pink, In Flower, rr, Hyper Original, Khodier, r r, Rosso Cafe, IIPennello Ceramic Café, Kan Zaman Restaurant, Le Rince, Linea, La Cassetta Retaurants, Makani, McDonalds, Mobill Mar Mart, Mori Sushi (Salah Salem), Milk, Musicana (El Korba) a , Munchies Café, No Name, Nuts @ a) Nuts, Occo, One 4 all, Polka Dolka, Pottery ery Café, Schatz Café, Smart Gym ery (Sheraton & Ard El Golf), Roma Café, Shell Mart, Mar Salah Beauty y Salon, STR8, Spicy, y, Style Gym, Tr y T es Bon, Up 2 Date, Viking Cafe, World Gym, Waffle W Point, Zein, L’Aubergine

Nasr City

Adidas(Genina mall), Aroma Lounge (City Stars), Beano's Café (City stars – Makram Ebeid – Abbas El Akkad), Beka, Calvin Klein Jeans (City Stars), Casper & Gambini's, C&Co (City Stars – Geneina Mall), Esprit (City Stars), Farah Café (Geneina Mall), Le Gourment Marche, Kenouz Restaurant, ISI (City Stars), Martino, McDonalds (Abbas el Akkad), Musica (Abbas el Akkad), My Day Cafe, Pascucci Café, Ravin, Spicy (City y Center - Geneina Mall) ,Virgin Megastore

Mohandiseen

Adidas/Timberland (Lebanon Street, Gezeeret Al Arab Street), Beano's Café (Gameat El Dowal Street), Beau Jardin Café, Bershka (Gezeeret Al Arab Street), Café Mo, Cedars café , C& Co, Café Bean (Aswan Sq.), Cocolina (Syria Street), Ciccio Café, Cilantro, Mohamed El Sagheer, rr, Cocolina, Dar Al Balsam Bookstore, Diwan, Eventya Flowers, Laguna Café, L` L Aroma Café, Makani, Marsh Café, McDonalds, Mori Sushi, Multi Stores, Non Bookstore, Pasqua Café, Quick24, Renaissance Library rary, rary y, Safari Café, Samia Alouba, Silviana Heach, Solitaire Café, Shoe Room, Scoop Café, Second Cup, Spectra, Spicy, y, Sports Café, To y T mmy y Hilfiger, r To r, T y Story ory, ory y, Tri T anon Café, To T rnado Café, V Volume One, Zarina, Zee Lounge, P 75, Al Dar, rr, Café De Fiori

Downtown & Mokattam

AUC Bookstore, Beano's Café, Beymen, Cilantro, o, Mak Maktabet El Balad, McDonalds (T (Tahrir Tahrir) ahrir), Balady

Dokki

Ahl Cairo, Adidas, Beano's Café (British Council), Coffe f e Roastery ffe tery, tery y, Dar Al Balsam Bookstore, Mr. r Joe, Makani, Korista Café, Momento, La Boutique, r.

Orange, Quick24, Retro, Spicy, y Ta y, T basco, Zein, Zarina

Zamalek

Al Akhbar Bookstore, Arabica, Beano's Café, Coff f ee Bean, Cilantro, Cocolina, ff Crave, Diwan Bookstore, Euro Deli, FDA, 69, Gardenia Flowers, Goal, Googan Bookstore, Kodak Express, L'Aubergine, Makani, Mezza Luna, Mobil Mart, Mohamed El Sagheer, r Mori Sushi, Munchies, Orangette, Ta r, T basco, Quick 24, Ravin’, Romancia Bookshop, Sequoia, WIF, F Zamalek Bookshop, V F, Van Gogh Bookshop, Zafir

Maadi

Adidas, Adam Bookstore, Art Ar hur Murray, y Bakier Stationary y, ry, ry y, Bander Café, Beanos, Beau Jardin, Books & Books, Beta Bookshop, Bookspot, Caj, Euro Deli, Cat, Condetti, Chilis, Coffe f e Roastery ffe ery ery y,, Gengra Café, Greco, Costa Coffee, fffee, El Shader, rr, Dunes Lounge, Ghazala Stationary onary, onary y, Green Mill, Gudy, y y, Kotob Khan, Kiwi, Honest Bookshop , I Spot , La Gourmandise, Makani, McDonalds, Mediterraneo Restaurants, Reebok, Renaissance Library ry, ry y, Rigoletto, Samia Alouba, Second Cup, Shell Shop, Shoe Room, Spectra,The Bakery ry, ry y, Timberland, Volum V e One

October City

Beano's, Byblos Café (Dandy Mall), Café Mo, McDonalds, Mexicana Café, Mori Sushi (Dandy Mall), Second Cup, Shell Shop, Solitaire, Sans Soucis Café, T ianon Tr

CTP & Printing

Sahara Printing Company

Campus Magazine's Address 24 Abdelmenim Riyad St. Mohandiseen T l: 3749 8730/3 Te Fax: 3749 8736

Emails

mail@core-publications.net info@core-publications.net customerservice@core-publications.net sales@core-publications.net

El Rehab & Fifth Settlment

Food Court (Le Reve Grand Café, Jounich Café, Gauchos Café, Mercato Italiano), AUC Bookstore

Giza & Haram

Beano's, Dar El Shorouk, Mexicana Café, Polo Shop

Alexandria

24Seven Café, Adidas & Timberland (Syria st, - City y Center), Banna Stationary ry, ry y, 24/7 Café, Adidas/Timberland, Banna Stationary ionary, ionary y, Beano's, Cillomo Café, C&CO, Cilantro, Coff f ee Roastery ff tery, tery y, Deekom, Mazaya, McDonalds, Quiksilver, r r, The Sixties Café, Tam T arin Center, r Rapo r,

T a Tant

Axon, Pizza Station, La Plato Café

adizero f50 The need for speed has never been greater.

Leave zero doubt at adidas.com/football

In loving memory...

Mohamed Mostafa Mohamed Omar Adam Hammam Mohamed Ahemed Abdel Hamid Ahmed Osama Salah Eldin Mamdouh Mohamed Elbendary Mohamed Hassan ElShorbagy Mostafa Mohamed Youssef Mohamed Sab Youssef Ahmed Ezzat Ismail Hossam Eldin Abdelfatah Ahmed Zakaria Mohamed Mohamed Mahmoud Abdeltawab Hussein Mohamed Abdelmordy Ahmed Mohamed Heiba Mohamed Ali Suleiman Youssef Hammad Youssef Karim Ali Farag Ahmed Salah Eldin Mohamed Mohamed Roshdy Belal Mohab Salah Farag

4 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

Wastema Mostafa Ahmed Omar Ali Mohsen Mohamed Nasser Abdelsamee Anas Mohy Eldin Abdelrahaman Karim Ahmed Abdallah Suleiman Ahmed Alshaboury Amr Ahmed Atta Ahmed Ismail Mohamed Mohamed Ashraf Mahdy Ahmed Taha Hussein Islam Ahmed Afandy Ahmed Abdelhamid Suleiman Zeyad Gamal Mohamed Mohamed Mahrous Youssef Ibrahim Helmy Mohamed Ahmed Khater Mostafa Gamal Shabaan Ayman Mohamed Khayry Fathy Alkarnakoty Mostafa Nasr Ibrahim Mohamed Samir Khedr Alsaeed Al Gamal Alaraby Kamel Mohamed Elghandour

5

EDITOR’S NOTE

1/2/2012

book

EDITOR’S NOTE

“Honestly, I never gave a damn .

But then Karim died.”

THAT WAS MY FRIEND’S BROTHER. HIS CHILDHOOD FRIEND, KARIM, DIED IN PORT SAID. HE WAS 22.

MY FRIEND’S BROTHER WAS NEVER ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO BLAMED THE REVOLUTION FOR EVERY PROBLEM THEY CAME ACROSS, BUT HE HAD NEVER CARED ENOUGH TO PROTEST OR TAKE PART IN A SIT-IN, JUST LIKE HE SAID. BUT AS I WRITE THIS HE’S MARCHING TO THE MINISTRY OF INTERIOR, CHANTING AGAINST SCAF, DEMANDING THE RIGHTS OF THE THOUSANDS WHO HAD DIED OVER THE PAST MONTHS… THOUSANDS HIS FRIEND HAS RECENTLY JOINED. In the March and April sit-ins, those who were killed, tortured and injured were accused of being thugs who do drugs and have sex in the tents.

In the Israeli Embassy protest, they were accused of trying to storm the building. In the Ballon Theatre clashes, they were accused of throwing rocks at the CSF forces. In the July sit-in, they were accused of planning to block the metro line and close down the Mugamma’. In Maspero, they were accused of stealing weapons and army vehicles. In Mohamed Mahmoud, they were accused of trying to break into the Ministry of Interior. In the Cabinet events, they were accused of stalling traffic with their sit-in and burning down a government building.

But what will they be accused of now?

Being Ahly fans? Supporting a football team? Watching a game at the stadium?

This time is like no other time. Those kids who died, they didn’t die while chanting against the Field Marshall or defending themselves against brutal police forces.

Your excuse was that politics is not your thing.

8 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

You’re happy as long as your life is going well; you go to work and get paid at the end of every month, your favourite restaurants are still open and you go out with your friends whenever you feel like it, you still go shopping and enjoy the stuff you buy, you go home and watch your favourite shows and everything’s fine and dandy. You don’t give a shit who rules the country and who does what as long as you still manage to do your thing and your life’s unaffected.

Well, my friend’s brother’s life had been unaffected too, until his friend decided to go cheer on his team, and came back in a coffin. And guess what? That perfectly sheltered existence you have created for yourself could very much be shattered too, in an instant, even if you manage to stay away from all the action. Because, eventually, the ‘action’ will find you. If it has reached a football stadium, next time it could reach the movies, or the supermarket, or even come straight to your doorstep.

Your excuse is no longer valid.

This isn’t about politics anymore. This has nothing to do with which party you voted for, who you want to see as president, whether you want early elections or power handed to Parliament; this has nothing to do with any sort of political demands. This is a fight against a ruthless enemy, bent on destroying all the good that is left in this country. And the enemy is one and the same. The enemy is injustice in all its shapes and forms – from merciless bullets to deliberate negligence. Uniformed, holding a knife, or reading the news on TV. And that enemy – whose existence you insist to ignore – might come for you, any day now.

You can no longer afford the bubble you live in. Leave it now, before tragedy bursts it for you.

Care, just for the sake of it, before you’re forced to… in the cruelest of ways.

10 JANUARY 2012 CAMPUS

11

[ FEATURE ]

Obama speaks out!

By Wessam Sherif

This is a man who needs no intro; he’s arguably the most powerful man on the planet. Little do people know, however, he’s as humble as they come and getting him to make time for this interview wasn’t as difficult as we imagined. You see, all we had to do was DM him on Twitter!

So, without further ado…

You can find him on Twitter @BarackObama_AR

CAMPUS: Complete the following sentence: “I got 99 problems…”

C: If you weren’t a president, what would you be?

Obama: And Mohamed Badee3 eating the last piece of my salad cake is one!

O: I’ve always wanted to work as a correspondent for Captain Shoubeir.

C: Where do you like to relax?

C: What are your views on democracy Mr. President?

O: Under my bed, hiding from Michelle.

O: Well, the best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average 7ezb Al Noor voter.

C: Honestly, who’s sexier, Michelle or Lamis Gaber?

O: Funny you should mention that. I had announced that the White House is looking for a housekeeper and “a7ad el qeyadat” called me up to nominate her. Needless to say, I hung up on him.

12 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

C: What’s your take on Ikhwan?

O: Well, right after the step-down, I asked the Egyptian ambassador on his stance as a diplomat in case SCAF took over and his answer was: “Mester brezedent who marryz my mozer, I tell him my uncle!!” I think Ikhwan are following that dogma.

C: Who’s your favorite Arab?

O: The Lebanese Ambassador. A fine, fine, lady.

C: What’s your motto in life?

O: Aiwa bagheer.

C: Another motto?

O: ‫أأعطيك ثم تقول لم أأخذ؟‬ C: What was your toughest challenge?

O: Finding out what “PP bin blease” means.

C: Do you have any hobbies?

O: I write. As a matter of fact I’m in the process of writing my first book. It’ll be under the title “Sarkhet Safeera”.

C: What’s your best decision?

O: Refusing the request of some guy called Khairy Ramadan to join the American Water Ballet Team. That and forbidding Michelle from wearing a swimsuit.

C: What’s your most embarrassing moment?

O: I was once hanging out with the Qatari Ambassador and I was very drunk so he took my phone and tweeted Kim Kardashian saying “me wife Michelle out. You go home me go home how much?”

C: What’s your most awkward moment?

O: When the Egyptian Ambassador starts calling his wife by his own name; “Hesham”.

C: Thank you very much, Mr. President!

C

13

16 JANUARY 2012 CAMPUS

17

FEATURE

Agnosticism in Egypt

the growing underground “religion”

By Leila Tapozada

So as we all know, all the talk the past few months has been about Ikhwan this, Salafis that. How they’re in our face and in our parliament and in our midan and how you pretty much can’t swing a stick in the street without knocking down at least three Islamists.

We’ve heard it all before.

But while everyone has been very focused on the Islamists, who have most definitely stepped into the spotlight, there’s been another religious phenomenon that’s been growing a lot more discreetly, while everyone else has been busy sharing Hazem Shoman videos.

18 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

NOT SURE

Agnosticism definition: a religious orientation of doubt; a denial of ultimate knowledge of the existence of God; “agnosticism holds that you can neither prove nor disprove God’s existence.”

And before we go any further, the difference between agnosticism and atheism is that atheists believe that there is no God, whereas agnostics say you can’t be sure. Now, if I was to believe Wikipedia (which I do 70% of the time, but I don’t in this case), the total count of agnostics in Egypt is less than 200 people. That’s less than the number of Jews in Egypt.

I definitely know that this number is false. There are way, way, WAY more agnostics in Egypt than that. So why isn’t the number documented? Why do you not know that many agnostic people?

Easy. They just don’t talk about it. It’s nothing new that our society, which is so wrapped up in traditions and cultural norms and 3eib w mish 3eib w 7aram w mish 7aram, isn’t exactly an open-minded and non-judgmental society. And if you think that people will judge and condemn you for drinking, smoking up or having sex, then try to tell them that you think there’s a possibility that GOD DOESN’T EXIST. So how does one find himself on the road to agnosticism? And do agnostics “come out” in society with this information, or keep it to themselves? And if they keep it to themselves, then why?

Heba*: “I will keep on trying to know, but I made peace with the idea that I just might die trying.”

I was born to a very religious Muslim mother and a not-so-religious father (who now acts like a newly-saved believer.) I was “trained” to perform religious rituals around grade school, and I performed them because I was made to believe that my life depended on them.

In high school I stopped. I just stopped doing all those activities that I mindlessly adopted like they were a heritage. I was 14, and it was the first time I thought that these rituals meant nothing to me. They neither made sense, nor did they feel as “divine” as promised. And they sure didn’t “save” me from anything. Shit happens anyway and it seemed very childish to play the “7asanat score game.” I thought to myself, “God just can’t be this superficial.”

Years of arguments and loud fights with my mom couldn’t change my mind, especially since my father always responded to her anger with “sebeeha tet3allem fe wa2taha.” My mother’s very graphic threats of hell and torture only pushed me further away from it all, empowering only one thought: “If God was really all that great, shouldn’t I love him?.. Why do you make it sound like I should suck up to him out of fear?”

As years went by, I went through piles of pages of literature - ranging from the acclaimed Holy Books, to everything opposite. I read about religions, and the lack of them. I read about the theory of a higher divine entity, and the possibility that it doesn’t exist. I went through all the phases of exposure, absorption, analysis and conclusion. I did it all.

And now - at 28 - I can honestly say that I DON’T KNOW. Their socalled evidence doesn’t cut it for me; neither do the claims of atheists.

I like to think that I am a smart woman, and that I can decide for myself. And I did; I am agnostic. I will keep on trying to know, but I made peace with the idea that I just might die trying. I may never know the truth, or I may know eventually if “afterlife” does exist. I’m only human, and if I don’t end up knowing everything before I die, then be it. All I know is my here and now, and honestly, they’re not telling me much.

I chose not to disclose my name, not because I’m afraid of being attacked - I’m used to that - but simply because there are people in my life who will be hurt knowing how I really feel, and I love them too much to burst their bubble. I have learned that ignorance can be bliss for a lot of people, and hurting them won’t do me any good. Only three people in my life know about this… So, I’ll leave it for you to imagine how peachy it is to pretend to be someone you’re not - every second of every waking hour.

Sara*: “The more I thought about it, the rules of religion -whatever religion it was- seemed more like a man-made system of regulations that fit a specific culture at a specific time and place.”

I was raised Muslim and to an extent was practicing (praying, fasting. etc) up until high school. Growing up I never really had a problem with my religion- looking back at it now I realize that it was because, like most Egyptians, I was just ‘culturally’ religious. I went to pool parties and mixed birthdays and listened to trashy pop music like most pre-teens. I still considered myself Muslim though, as most here people would, just because I identified myself as such and covered the basics. As I got older, traveled more, read more books and started expanding my comfort zone, a lot of the’ non-negotiables’ in Islam started to not make sense to me, even if I tried to adjust the cultural framework. Although my parents were very liberal and never forced anything upon me (possibly being agnostic themselves- although they hid it wonderfully), society was enough to scare me into thinking these things should never be questioned. And so I never did- even when my religion teacher told me point blank that my mother was going to hell for not being Muslim. Ironically, it was my Christian mother who put me in that religion class.

In college, I ‘officially’ become agnostic when I took an astronomy class (irony strikes again). It really was then that everything just clicked. As cliché as it sounds, it felt like I was looking at a fuzzy picture that just finally made sense. It put my whole life in perspective. Suddenly, while learning about galaxies and quarks, everything I read about feminism, philosophy, law and anthropology just blended together and anything I was ever told regarding the authenticity, credibility and most importantly- the infallibility- of my religion suddenly feel apart. Our world was so small and insignificant in the grand scale of the real universe. The universe is intricate, infinite, beautiful and mind-blowing. I know these should be reasons for why my faith was re-affirmed, but all it did was made me think, “all of this and god has nothing better to do then make sure that exactly 2.5% of someone’s wealth needs to be given away? Or that prayer should be performed facing this particular rock? Or that a man should be allowed to have four wives? God created animals that eat their young, but would be offended by a woman’s hair?”

The more I thought about it, the rules of religion -whatever religion it was- seemed more like a man-made system of regulations that fit a specific culture at a specific time and place. It had no overarching, universal value. It was mankind’s first form of government which continues to this day, which is why it is bogged down with universally insignificant issues such as the exact amount number of months a woman should wait until she remarries or exactly how much skin should be covered up. It is why religion has rules governing marriage and inheritance instead of, for example, the cure for cancer or directions to the nearest forms of extraterrestrial life.

I began to read more. I read books authored by other agnostics or atheists, and then I took the plunge one day and visited faithfreedom.org, a website put together by a Muslim apostate.

I remember the first time I went on that website I felt guilt, shame and fear. But I am glad I did it because it made me realize I was not alone. The religious Muslims I encountered after hit me as naive and

19

FEATURE

simple-minded. The obvious correlation between education and religiosity in this country did not do anything to help. I do not mean to say that those who believe in a religion are by default stupid- not at all, but I think it is hard not to notice the reality on the ground, even on a global scale. I have many intelligent, educated and well-traveled friends, and even a husband, who are very spiritual. Who knows?

Maybe they are better off that way, but it is for these reasons that I never really spoke to anyone about my feelings. My husband knows and is understanding, although I did have to promise that I would raise our children Muslim. More importantly to me however is that they are loved, polite and open-minded. Some people would consider these Muslim values and to that I say that’s fine as well, but I’m a firm believer that you can be a good person, or raise good people, or be raised by good people, without religion ever being involved.

I never thought I could talk to anyone about it, but as I grow older I realize more people in Egypt are agnostic than you think. Some just haven’t realized it yet.

Martha, an American agnostic living in Egypt: “Most people assume that being American I must be Christian, and unless it is someone I know I tend to just let them believe that.”

I have not encountered nearly as many questions about my religious beliefs as I expected to. Most people assume that being American I must be Christian, and unless it is someone I know I tend to just let them believe that. Those who I have discussed my agnosticism with have been fairly non-judgmental and genuinely interested in why I believe what I do.

Hussein*: “I am not willing to suspend logic in such matters and simply “believe” so I choose not to affiliate myself with this belief structure.”

Some days, I am an atheist. I truly find comfort in the idea that there is no higher power out there and the universe is an accident just bumbling along. That’s not most days though, most days I am probably agnostic. I have no problem with the idea that there is an entity out there that exists in a reality that is both not subject to the rules that construct our own reality and has some level of influence or even control over our own reality – or universe. This then leaves me with the question of Islam and the Abrahamic religions at large. I have many misgivings and those are much better articulated by many a famed philosopher, but reservations mostly boil down to this: the answers Abrahamic religions have for the original questions (Why are we here? Why were we created? What happens after we die?... etc) do not make sense to me, each on its own and especially when weaved together into the classical religious narrative. I am not willing to suspend logic in such matters and simply “believe” so I choose not to affiliate myself with this belief structure.

Interestingly, there are Christians, Jews and adherents of other religions out there that skirt these logical issues. They maintain the logical integrity of their belief system while also maintaining their religious self identification. They reject any claims of holiness ascribed to the central text of their religion and insist that its edicts, stories and explanations should not be understood to be literal.

Though some have advocated similar approaches (most notably Nasr Hamed Abu Zeid) to the Quran, such an approach to Islam is considered heresy by virtually all mainstream Muslim scholars.

I met a man who studies Sufi practices a few weeks ago who told me that I had a very strong spirit but that it was disconnected. I told him at this point that I was agnostic and he told me that I needed to find a way to connect my spirit to something but he didn’t push me in any direction, he left it at that. The fact that I do believe in some sort of higher power seems to invite a lot of discussion about Islam vs.

Christianity and I have had a number of very interesting and inspiring conversations around this topic. I have heard of experiences from friends that are much more negative than mine but thus far I think I have been lucky in that my views have been fairly well received. Of course this could be because in an effort to avoid negative responses I do tend to keep my beliefs to myself unless I am in a setting where I feel comfortable that I won’t be judged or lectured about those beliefs.

What I think is interesting to note is that all of the Egyptian agnostics who wrote for this article, or even the ones I talked to, chose to remain anonymous, or “in the closet” about their agnosticism. Does that mean that being agnostic here in Egypt is the social equivalent of having casual sex for example? Something you know that will be frowned-upon by traditional society, so you choose to keep it to yourself, or to a very close few, to avoid being ostracized or hurting the people you care about? I mean, like I said in the beginning of this article, we know we live in a judgmental society, and people aren’t shouting that they’re agnostic from the rooftops; but to the point that some of them, like Heba for example, are living a lie?

But what gives me some hope (ya3ni, somewhat) is what we’ve seen with the Salafis this past year: Salafis always existed in our society, but kept relatively to themselves, for political reasons; that is, until a suitable enough environment encouraged them to band together and make themselves VERY seen and heard. Could this be the future for agnostics, who keep to themselves as well, but for social reasons instead of political? Is it just a matter of time until Egyptian society gives them an opening to come out of the proverbial closet and be just as vocal about their lack of religion as the Salafis and Ikhwan are being vocal about their extreme religion? One thing is clear – the agnostic ‘movement’ is very present here in Egypt, and is growing daily. And if the past year has taught us anything, it’s that ‘anything’ is possible. C *Names were changed to protect privacy.

20 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

NUBRE: MARCH WORKSHOP ON BEADING WITH DESIGNER JEAN POWER IN ASWAN “Nubre” - which means “Design” in Nubian language - is the research and design programme based in Aswan- Upper Egypt- where designers will be working on creating contemporary pieces and collections inspired by the heritage. In addition, an e-platform will be developed to disseminate the artwork of the participants and act as the link to the international design scene.

PRADA AND LG CREATE A STATEMENT IN STYLE

With a heritage of producing handsets that combine the best in style and substance, PRADA and LG today unveiled the partnership’s latest must-have smartphone, the PRADA phone by LG 3.0. This highly anticipated handset is the third phone to come from the collaboration and represents a key design venture for both companies.

The PRADA phone by LG 3.0 combines PRADA’s distinctive style with LG’s innovative technology. Styled with PRADA’s clean and sharp design philosophy, the handset features a full glossy touchscreen to the front and PRADA’s signature Saffiano pattern to the back.

This handset also boasts LG’s signature Floating Mass Technology, optically enhancing the thinness of its already impressive 8.5mm depth, with minimal hardkeys completing the sleek simple finish.

As effective as it is striking, the PRADA phone by LG 3.0 boasts a 1.0GHz Dual-Core/Dual-Channel architecture for high-speed performance, and dual-band wi-fi for high-speed surfing on the go.

CHIPSY LAUNCHES “SMILE AND LIFE WILL SMILE BACK AT YOU” CAMPAIGN IN COLLABORATION WITH AHMED HELMY

Through this interface users can enjoy all the latest benefits of Android’s Gingerbread OS, with a future scheduled upgrade to Android’s Ice Cream Sandwich.

This unique user interface experience can be enjoyed on the device’s 800-nit, 4.3inch NOVA High Brightness Display, allowing users to view all their favorite photos and content even in direct sunlight. Plus with an 8MP camera and up to 8GB of user memory.

To complement the handset, users will have access to a full line of PRADA phone accessories such as a PRADA branded cradle and Bluetooth ear set. Users can also carry their PRADA phone by LG 3.0 in a range of stylish pouches.

invited 22 nurses working at the 57357 Hospital to attend the joyous events taking place in the year-long campaign,” said Tarek Mansour the General Manager of Chipsy Foods. “We really honor these passionate nurses who take genuine care of the sick children who are the need love and care the most” he added.

Designed to draw a smile on Egyptians’ faces, Chipsy Foods launched “Ed7aklaha Ted7aklak” throughout 2012, inspiring Egyptians to restore their own natural given sense of humor, so that 2012 will be the year of optimism and hope for a better future.

The event celebrating the campaign, kicked off in Alexandria and Cairo with a stand-up comedy shows hosted by Bassem Youssef. This came after it was announced that Ahmed Helmy is being the ambassador of “Ed7aklaha Ted7aklak” Campaign.

“In a sign of showing Chipsy’s gratitude for their heartfelt care, dedication, and commitment to corporate social responsibility, we have

“In line with our long tradition to giving back to society, Chipsy Foods brings its “Performance with Purpose” mission to life through a long list of initiatives and activities geared towards making a difference in the communities where we work and live,” Mansour highlighted. “Among which is the “Food for Education” initiative, designed to encourage school enrollment and attendance rates among vulnerable students in the most disadvantaged areas in Egypt.”

“The Food For Education program targets poor families who are faced with the choice of sending their children to school or to work”, he added.

“The program provides students with daily nutritious date bars as well as take-home rations of 10 Kg rice to their families as an incentive to keep their children in school. These food rations are conditional upon the regular attendance of children.”

21

FEATURE

WorkingÊ classÊ confessions DoesÊ theÊ perfectÊ jobÊ reallyÊ exist?

By Wessam Sherif

EverybodyÊ alwaysÊ wantsÊ toÊ haveÊ itÊ all.Ê Ê NoÊ matterÊ howÊ muchÊ peopleÊ claimÊ thatÊ theyÕ reÊ ableÊ toÊ compromise,Ê deepÊ downÊ insideÊ theyÊ wantÊ perfectionÊ inÊ everyÊ aspectÊ ofÊ theirÊ lives.Ê EverythingÊ hasÊ toÊ beÊ justÊ right.

NeedlessÊ toÊ say,Ê thatÊ NEVERÊ happens.Ê Ê AndÊ thisÊ dilemmaÊ becomesÊ evenÊ worseÊ whenÊ oneÕ sÊ ponderingÊ his/herÊ careerÊ options,Ê becauseÊ when it comes to that specific aspect, you most definitely can’t have itÊ all.

YouÊ see,Ê thereÊ areÊ usuallyÊ threeÊ scenarios: 1-Ê YouÊ loveÊ whatÊ youÊ doÊ butÊ arenÕ tÊ gettingÊ paidÊ wellÊ enough 2-Ê YouÊ hateÊ whatÊ youÊ doÊ butÊ itÊ paysÊ well 3-Ê YourÊ bossÊ isÊ makingÊ yourÊ lifeÊ hell

24 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

TheseÊ areÊ theÊ make-it-or-break-itÊ factorsÊ andÊ theyÊ differÊ fromÊ personÊ toÊ theÊ other;Ê someÊ areÊ willingÊ toÊ giveÊ upÊ theirÊ passionÊ forÊ aÊ bigÊ bagÊ ofÊ money,Ê othersÊ valueÊ theirÊ passionÊ andÊ freedomÊ overÊ everythingÊ andÊ thereÊ thoseÊ whoÕ dÊ ratherÊ dieÊ thanÊ answerÊ toÊ anÊ assh*le!

ButÊ eachÊ decisionÊ hasÊ itsÊ prosÊ andÊ cons.Ê YouÊ see,Ê atÊ aÊ youngÊ ageÊ when you choose passion over money, you walk the fine line between beingÊ aÊ free-spiritedÊ hippieÊ andÊ beingÊ aÊ bum.Ê OnÊ theÊ otherÊ hand,Ê ifÊ youÊ chooseÊ money,Ê youÊ riskÊ puttingÊ yourÊ dreamsÊ toÊ sleepÊ onceÊ andÊ forÊ all,Ê inÊ caseÊ youÊ actuallyÊ caredÊ aboutÊ pursuingÊ aÊ dream.Ê AndÊ ifÊ youÊ putÊ upÊ withÊ aÊ jerkÊ ofÊ aÊ boss,Ê youÊ dieÊ aÊ littleÊ insideÊ everydayÊ andÊ theÊ onlyÊ wayÊ outÊ isÊ aÊ resignationÊ letter.

EverybodyÕ sÊ beenÊ throughÊ oneÊ ofÊ theÊ aforementionedÊ confusionÊ phasesÊ before.Ê AndÊ inÊ caseÊ youÕ reÊ stillÊ goingÊ throughÊ one,Ê weÕ veÊ compiledÊ statementsÊ fromÊ everyÊ partÊ ofÊ theÊ career-choiceÊ spectrumÊ toÊ giveÊ youÊ insightÊ andÊ perhapsÊ helpÊ youÊ makeÊ theÊ Ò safestÓ Ê decision.

Doing something you hate in order to spend money on the thing you love is like making money through dealing in drugs and then using that money you saved up to build a mosque Show me the money!

The assh*le

Mohamed Khaled – Banker - 25

Anonymous

I don’t enjoy working in a bank, it’s a very boring job; it feels like I’m an ATM that talks. But the fact that I hate what I do doesn’t mean that I hate the idea of working there. I appreciate my job, I have a wife and a kid, I have bills to pay and I’m responsible for feeding my family. I can’t just go live the “free life”; I can’t afford to take such a risk.

I love my job. I really do. I’m doing what I have always dreamed of doing, ever since I was a kid. I love the people, the office itself, and the kind of work I do. At first it seemed like I couldn’t be happier. I never got much attention from my boss, but I told myself that the longer time I spent there the more my work would eventually capture his attention and he was sure to start acknowledging the value I contribute to the place. But he never did.

To be completely honest though, it’s not just about my family; even before I got married I always wanted a job that would get me a lot of money. I enjoy the concept of having a good car, wearing nice clothes, and being able to afford to buy anything I want. I’m willing to take the job that gets me more money as long as it’s not something demeaning. I mean I won’t go work as a garbage man, even if it has more money in it. In all honesty, I was happy when I found out that I’m being paid at least twice as much as any of the guys I went to college with. Consequently, the fact that I do not enjoy my work becomes completely irrelevant.

Freedom!

Ahmed Selim – 28 I used to work in advertising. I was a creative in one of those big, fancy advertising agencies, and I made good money. I quit, though.

Nearly two years ago. And they’ve been the happiest two years of my life. I believe it’s the best decision I’ve ever made, even though there are days where I barely have 10 pounds in my pocket. Back when I quit, I didn’t have an alternative plan. I didn’t really have a reason to quit either; I was only curious. I wanted to know what the world was like outside those corporate walls, how it would feel if my experience and capabilities were not related to my boss’ or my company’s expectations, what it would be like to travel right now just because I felt like it, how comfortable it would be to turn a job down because you don’t believe in the cause behind it. And so I left. And I never went back, and I do not want to.

You see, I don’t believe your job has anything to do with the money you earn; it’s all part of the fortune God has written for you. The money you’re meant to get, you’re going to get anyway. And to me it makes sense that you will make money when you do what you love.

Doing something you hate in order to spend money on the thing you love is like making money through dealing in drugs and then using that money you saved up to build a mosque. Doing what you love is what it’s all about. So you won’t be able to buy a car and a big, luxurious apartment? So what? You decide your priorities according to what you want to do with your life; you don’t put your dream on the shelf so you’d be able to buy a car. I don’t own a car. But I’m happy, I’m free, I’m learning. I do work that I believe in and enjoy. Every day to me is a new adventure.

As time passed by and my responsibilities increased, I only got the pressure and criticism bound to come along with the increased responsibility, but not the privileges – whether morale-wise or financially. I never got a promotion and only a slight raise. My boss doesn’t really understand the nature of the work I do, never having done it himself and his means of evaluation are therefore not very fair. I do not get compensated for any extra hours I work and I get a big chunk of my salary deducted every month over the most trivial of reasons.

When my colleagues and I tried to talk to the boss about the issue, he ended up manipulating the conversation through emotional blackmail, smoothly turning the table against us and making it seem like we were ungrateful bastards who should thank the merciful heavens that we happen to work where we do and that if we didn’t like it here we were free to go work somewhere else. He’s not a monster, no. He’s actually a pretty decent guy, who happens to want the very best his employees have to offer, giving them the minimum in return. In other words, he is a businessman; a capitalist.

I’m very frustrated because I feel majorly underappreciated, although I work really hard, and my whole life revolves around my job. It’s not about the money; ever since I started working I have decided that I will never let money be my drive when it comes to work, I only want to do what I love. But there is absolutely no alternative source of motivation. I rarely get words of encouragement, my title remains the same, and the one thing that grows is the work load. I know my work deserves more recognition than it gets, and I know I deserve more appreciation and yes, more money.

Why do I still work in that place? Because I’m learning. Because for now it seems like the right place to be in terms of what I do and where I want to take my career. Because I’m putting the sense of self-accomplishment my work gives me over money and over what my boss thinks. But I know it’s humanly impossible to stay entirely self-motivated forever. So the truth is I’m still working there until I find a better opportunity, even if it pays less. I’m waiting to find a place where the work would satisfy me, where getting my full salary at the end of each month is a non-negotiable right rather than something I have to fight for, and where my boss’s appreciation is a constant rather than a rarity. C

25

FEATURE

The employment quiz!

Should you quit your job?

Are you a career-oriented person?

Do you like what you do?

a) Yes, very much

a) Yes

b) Passion and career are not the same thing

b) No

c) Not really

c) Doesn’t matter

Which one of the following people do you most relate to?

Does your salary cover all your monthly expenses?

a) Steve Jobs

a) Yes

b) J.K. Rowling

b) No

c) Paris Hilton

c) It will in the future after a raise or two

If you were an animal you would be

Do you see yourself in the same place two years from now?

a) A monkey

a) Yes

b) A tiger

b) No

c) A peacock

c) I can’t quite see myself anywhere

If your answers were mostly (a), then you were made for the stable job and you’ll get one eventually.

Why did you choose that specific job? a) It’s actually quite interesting b) Good money c) It was the only available option Is your working place close to where you live? a) Yes, my office location doesn’t trouble me b) No, it’s a hassle going to work everyday c) Beats sitting at home anyway If your answers were mostly (a), stick around, you have it good, be grateful for that.

If your answers were mostly (b), you’re not quite cut out for a 9-to-5er.

If your answers were mostly (c), then… wow.

Should you kill your boss?

Do you like your boss? a) I don’t mind him/her b) I curse the day he/she was born How do you feel when you first see him/her in the morning? a) Not much, the same as anyone else in my office b) I feel like stabbing my eyes out with my plastic lunch fork

If your answers were mostly (b), quit, now.

Does he/she show you any form of professional appreciation/motivation?

If your answers were mostly (c), you, my friend, have neither ambition nor drive, you might as well sell batata in Tahrir.

a) Yes, he/she does

Should you get a job?

Why are you jobless? a) I can’t find a job b) I really don’t want a stable job c) I don’t need a job How do you get by every month? a) I borrow money

b) Rarely, if ever When you think about your boss what comes to mind? a) Nothing he/she is a decent enough person b) Things that cannot be printed in a magazine How do you feel about prison? a) I would do anything to stay out of it b) I wouldn’t mind doing time if it was worth it

b) I do freelance/part-time jobs

If your answers were mostly (a), you’re better off with no blood on your hands.

c) What the heck is get by? Money is not an issue!

If your answers were mostly (b), kill the damn bastard.

26 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

‫حداد حتى الق�صا�ص!‬

‫فبراير ‪2012‬‬

] UNDERSCORE ]

“I Want To Victimize You”

By Amy Quotb

WHAT IT IS… LIKE EVERY GIRL LIVING IN THE WORLD, ESPECIALLY CAIRO, I HAVE BEEN HARASSED AT LEAST ONCE IN THE STREET, MALL OR PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. I HAVE TENS OF STORIES THAT I HEARD FROM FRIENDS. STORIES MEN WOULDN’T TOLERATE TO EXPERIENCE. BUT THEY ALL HAPPENED. HOW IT FEELS… I’m not gonna go through the details of harassment or how it happens, you all know the drill. And you probably know how it feels or a description of it from someone you know. And you may have heard it all a thousand times. But what I always wondered; does the person who commits harassment know this? Does he hear these stories? Has he ever encountered a girl who’d just been harassed? His sister maybe, or his mother? His fiancée? His wife?

I always wondered; how can he do this, if he knows how awful it feels?

To him, it’s a few seconds of fun... Maybe longer. It’s something he does and laughs about with his friends; like spitting on the road or tripping someone!

But does he REALLY know?

WELL IF HE DOESN’T… I WISH THAT HE DOES. The resentment I felt the time it happened to me in the street was overwhelming. I was angry, humiliated, and powerless among other feelings. What made it worse is that when I went back home and told my parents, all my father had to say was “enty elly 3’altana, bossy 3ala lebsek.” …I was wearing regular jeans and a t-shirt. I was coming home from a long day at college - kolleyet tebb 3ein shams! I was in a frickin’ MORGUE all day! I looked fugly!

LEBSY? ...REALLY, DAD? I spent the night fantasizing about ways I could torture this kid and humiliate him until he dies. And being the gore movie fan that I am, it wasn’t hard at all to imagine.

WHAT I’D ACTUALLY DO...

When I was asked - now 11 years later - about how I would punish a harasser, I thought of something so much better. I started dissecting all the feelings I had back then, and with my serial-killer-wannabe mind, I think I have the perfect plan.

I’ll make him go through it all, amplified, intensified and extreme.

I’m gonna get him good.

LONELINESS Being harassed makes you feel alone, even in the middle of the busiest street. It’s like there’s no one to save you. So first off, I’d have him kidnapped, and lock him up in a glass box, all covered up in black curtains.

Weakness I will starve him. Then I will turn on water sprinklers; extremely cold showers that freeze him up, then boiling water that burns his skin. He’ll feel powerless for there will be nowhere to hide. All he’ll be able to do is curl up in a corner, trying to protect as many body parts as he can from the extreme temperatures.

28 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

NAKEDNESS After I know that he’s too weak to move, I will let in 4 strong men. They will undress him and tear apart every single item of clothing he’s wearing.

To the very last thread. I will then press the button that drops the curtains.

He’ll look around to see that his glass chamber is located in the middle of a busy Cairo street or roundabout. People will be walking by and staring at his wet, naked body. But nobody will be able to come inside or help, even if they wanted to.

HUMILIATION

The four men will now start to sexually harass this man in all humanly ways possible. Enough said.

WORTHLESSNESS

Being harassed makes you feel so cheap. I felt like everyone is watching, thinking that it’s okay. That you’re not worth saving, or even swearing at the kid for. It’s perfectly fine for people to see a teenage girl get groped.

So, the next number will be screening videos of sexual harassment scenes from Cairo streets to all the people out there. A voice over will mention how this guy was part of it; he singlehandedly took part in this crime. He harassed a girl, or several. His hand touched a girl’s body without her consent. His mouth fired perverted, dirty sexual slurs into her ears; words she didn’t want to hear, definitely not from this strange, disgusting intruder.

BEING INVISIBLE

Some of the audience, if not all, will realize that this man does not deserve their help. They will look away, they’ll pretend not to see; just the way they do when a girl gets harassed right in front of them.

The Desire to Disappear (yes, right after feeling invisible) At this point, and if this man has any humanity in his body, he’ll sure as hell want to disappear. He’ll wish he could just die and get it over with. What a nasty feeling.

GUILT

The four men will now start to tell him about all the horrible things he did, and why he deserves this. They will explain how everything he’s been going through has a meaning and significance. How karma just might exist, and how he should have thought of that before he committed his crimes.

THE WALK OF SHAME

I will then have these men hand him clothes, and let him out into the street. The same street that watched him get harassed, undressed and humiliated. I will let him go. Go and walk among these people with his shame and stigma. Know what it feels to have nothing to do about it.

This is my fantasy.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT When I asked my girl friends about what they would do to punish a harasser, the answers ranged from kicking him in the balls, sending him to jail, cutting his penis (70% of the responses) to actually applying death sentence! So if you think I was too cruel, look around you. Search in the eyes of girls you know. You just might be surprised at how being put through these feelings brings out the sadist in any girl, no matter how cute or innocent she may seem.

29

UNDERSCORE

Small World,

By May Kamel

CORRUPTION; THAT OVERLOADED WORD THAT WE OFTEN FIND OURSELVES OBLIGED TO LIVE WITH. HMM, WELL, MAYBE ACCUSTOMED TO WOULD BE A MORE APT TERM HERE. FOR AS LONG AS WE, EGYPTIANS, REMEMBER, CORRUPTION CASES HAVE MADE HEADLINES IN NEWSPAPERS UNTIL THEY TURNED FROM SHOCKERS TO MERE SMALL TALK MATERIAL. MIND YOU, I’M DISCUSSING CORRUPTION IN A VERY PARTICULAR SENSE HERE…NOT THE OVERT LAWBREAKING OR THE OUTRIGHT BRIBERY, BUT RATHER THE OBSCURE, UNAPPARENT VARIANT. Contrary to popular belief, corruption isn’t only restricted to third world countries, for most of the world’s countries, if not all, have had their fair share of it. Political, journalism, economical or even sex scandals have crossed the “phenomena” stage and reached the lands of commonplace.

Exhibit A - One year ago, we revolted as a response to several grievances, most imperative of which was pervasive corruption. With the fall of the regime came a series of charges and prosecutions, unraveling more dirt than we expected, and we were expecting much, I tell you.

In their right mind, people would usually tell the good and the bad apart. Habib El Adly; bad. Safwat El Sherif; *kalam 3eib*. Mohamed El Baradei; good. Rasheed Mohamed Rasheed; good. Oops, the latter was applicable until February 2011. See, now that’s the juice we want to hear. “Good” people who are not so good.

Let me showcase some of the corruption scandals that stirred a buzz, recent or not.

“NIXON RESIGNS.” When talking about political scandals, a memorable mention to the Watergate scandal is due. I mean, Watergate is the prototype; scandal folklore if you may. Five men wearing business suits and surgical gloves arrested in the middle of the night with illegal bugging devices at the Democratic Party headquarters in the Watergate building in Washington, D.C. They turned out to be part of a wide-ranging political espionage and sabotage operation run by President Nixon’s top aides, one that triggered a massive White House cover-up directed by the president himself. After that cover-up unraveled, more than 70 people, including cabinet members and White House assistants, were convicted of criminal abuses of power; only a pardon by his presidential successor spared Nixon himself from becoming the first chief executive in history to be indicted for felonies committed in the Oval Office.

But he’s the president! And he was just making sure everything was under control! I knowww, but what can we say. Americans.

SEX, DRUGS … SANS ROCK & ROLL What’s media without a buzz? Nothing. Generically, one would sympathize with those journalists and media figures killing themselves for the juice. Spare yourself the sympathy ya 7elween, because juice can be made. Yay. For a case in point, we have Washington Post’s Janet Cook, who,

30 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

Big Scandals in 1980, fabricated “Jimmy’s World”, a story about a child’s heroin addiction, sparking public opinion and sending the police in search of her imaginary hero. A Pulitzer Prize and a confrontation from her editors were what it took, however, for her to admit making up the story.

Rings any bells? Yes, indeed. In 2007, our very own Hala Sarhan got the whole country sending children to their rooms and dropping their jaws to the ground upon hosting a group of prostitutes to talk about their “career path” here in Egypt, only for us to find out shortly afterwards that it was all staged.

SURREALISM We all remember Osama Saraya’s masterpiece; overthrown president Mubarak’s photoshopped “leading” role in resolving the Arab/ Israeli dispute. We can’t also overlook the phone call that singer/ mowaten masry Mohamed Fouad made to state television crying his eyes out and telling the revolutionaries that “‫…”الدم ده مكانه حتة تانية‬enlightening.

Such examples of media corruption during and after January 25th Revolution are plenty. From “Tamer beta3 Ghamra” all the way to “Abou Donia beta3 el cocaine” who SCAF insisted was the reason behind Qasr Al Einy events. They all reflect how rotten to the core Maspero is and how the old regime holds it as the people’s opium to redirect the revolution as they please.

I recall that some time in 2005, American media reported the “scandal” of President Bush’s administration paying columnists to promote its policies. Well, excuse me, sir, we had over 10 TV channels and a gazillion newspapers doing this for us. Be jealous.

A FEW GOOD MEN…HELLO? Ever since we opened the corruption “bakabort” after the revolution, we’ve been trying to hold on to any glimpse of hope…there had to be a few good men, anyone.

There was Zahy Hawwas, whom we thought was the guardian of Egypt’s heritage, only to find out he was red-handed in smuggling Egyptian artifacts to other countries, selling/ keeping some for himself, allowing international media to shoot documentaries at Egyptian archaeological sites and museums without paying the necessary fees, as well as the fake chamber scandal that was not even covered by Egyptian media.

There was also Ismail Serag El Din, who is regrettably still the head of Bibliotheca Alexandrina despite being accused, along with his corrupt squad, of the squandering of public funds and stealing artifacts from the library.

Noteworthy is ex Trade Minister, Rasheed Mohamed Rasheed, whom we have always seen in a good light. The court then convicted him in absentia after he fled the country, sentencing him to five years in prison for profiteering and squandering public funds. He is yet to pay 9.385

million Egyptian pounds in fines and his whereabouts are unknown.

All of this aside, almost every official in the country, known for his corruption or not was red-handed in one or more of those crimes; embezzlement, profiteering, money laundering, human rights abuses and fueling sectarian clashes.

‫كله برتقال‬ Adding to the surprise list of 2011 was the sentencing of two-times ex Ukrainian Prime Minister, Yulia Tymoshenko to seven years after she was found guilty of abuse of office when brokering the 2009 gas deal with Russia. She was also ordered to pay the state $188 million.

The judge also banned her from seeking elected office for her period of imprisonment (disqualifying her from participation in the 2012 parliamentary and 2015 presidential elections). Cough *3azl seyasy* cough.

The real juice in this action-packed story, however, is the fact that Tymoshenko co-led the Orange Revolution, Ukraine’s fight against corruption. But like they say, ‫…أهو كله برتقال‬

MURDOCH; CONNECTING TO PEOPLE July 2011 witnessed a Watergate spin-off, with News of the World and other British tabloid newspapers published by News International accused of engaging in phone hacking, police bribery, and exercising improper influence in the pursuit of publishing stories. Investigations revealed that the hacking activities extended from celebrities, politicians and members of the British Royal Family to murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler, relatives of deceased British soldiers, and victims of the 7/7 London bombings and 9/11 victims in the US. The scandal left Rupert Murdoch, Chairman and CEO of News International tête-à-tête with government investigations in the UK and FBI investigations in the US. In only two weeks, Murdoch was forced to shutter the 168-year-old British tabloid News of the World and pull his highly-anticipated bid for British Sky Broadcasting.

WE WILL MUCKRAKE YOU It could take me ages and pages to cite global and local corruption cases without even having to dig deep. It’s practically in the air. From Greece to Italy to Spain, and all the way to South America; from Berlusconi, to the US officials, to almost each and every Arab official, the list is long.

It’s unworldly to think that one can put an absolute end to corruption.

Instead, one must always look around and dig deep into facts, and see no one above the law. And let it be known that those who are two-faced are more muckrake-worthy; we hate fakers.

My last words are to politicians, governments, or whoever is pushing the button; mind our minds.

31

Thank you, Captain Obvious!

[ OPINIONATED ]

The Parliament is full of bearded dudes, we get it already!

By Farida Ezzat

Human beings are blessed with the wonderful ability of being amazed by what they see around them. How many times have you looked at the sky with wide eyes and whispered to yourself: “Wow! This sunrise is beautiful!” or smelled a bouquet of flowers while thinking that “roses smell so nice”? Let’s face it; most of us have a thing for stating the obvious. In fact, most of us find a certain fascination in rehashing what everybody already knows. Problem is, it can get pretty exhausting when people start stating the obvious with a look of surprise in their eyes. Let me give you an example to put things in perspective: the first session of the People’s Assembly in the post-Mubarak era.

34 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

It was a historic moment. Even the most apolitical amongst us had a hunch that the first elected parliament is kind of a big deal. Let me stop here for a moment to define what a ‘big deal’ is, because sadly, this specific bit is not as obvious as you’d think it is. A big deal is something important, substantial, of consequence. Unfortunately, the reactions I got from some people made me feel like they had the Parliament confused with the Golden Globes or the Oscars.

“Oh my God! What are those beards?” and “he’s wearing a galabeya? What is this, Suburbia?” were some of the comments I heard which is rather funny considering how we all knew the elections’ results before turning out TVs on. I would dare say that we also all know that representatives of religious parties tend to grow their beards and some choose to wear traditional clothes. Why so surprised, then?

Before I give those beautiful people – the term ‘beautiful’ is loosely used to describe a relatively superficial, somewhat oblivious person- a piece of my mind, let us give them the benefit of the doubt. Surely, they were mocking the beards to highlight an ideological conflict between themselves and the ‘religious’ members of Parliament?

Further, they surely saw the beards as the symbol of an imminent theocratic state that threatened the revolutionary goal of seeing a flourishing democracy in Egypt…? Right?

The point is not to preach here. It is not to bitterly point out that many of us have lost touch, or never even established contact with the street. It is not to dictate the appropriate behavior to follow when watching your television. And it is certainly not to tell you how or what to think. Put simply, blood has been shed to destroy a culture of fear and alter minds that were bent on holding on to the status quo.

People have made sacrifices to give us the prospect of a different tomorrow: one that wasn’t marked with the word OBVIOUS. A future with question marks instead of more familiar faces in power, more certainties and less hope. Whether this future is better than the past or not is up to us. Whether we decide to work on our shortcomings and improve who we are and what we do is also up to us. Jumping to hasty conclusions, labeling the other before hearing him out and alienating ourselves from him is no way to build a future. It’s a way to fall back into our good old destructive habits. Loosen your grip a little and rethink what you think you know. The obvious is not all that obvious. C

Jokes aside, what was that all about? There’s a fine line between being funny and delving into a world of distasteful, poorly-timed jokes.

Unfortunately, many of us have stomped that poor line. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not The Grinch and actually enjoy a hearty laugh, but the fixation on beards was a little over the top. What is even sadder is that while some of us were having a good time laughing about these people, we didn’t really ask ourselves whether they were on our television screens because they had earned their seats or had bribed their way to the top. Also, we didn’t think that regardless of whether they had integrity or not, they knew what the street needed and delivered this need, or promised to do so in the near future.

Additionally, we had the nerve to make fun of what the street has chosen, a street who still seems to be an unfamiliar place to many.

Sure, we probably all know the motto by heart by now: “bread, freedom and social justice”, but what do we know beyond that? Or is it understandable to automatically assume the worst about the person we are looking at simply because of hearsay, generalizations or physical appearance? Let’s set the record straight: there’s a lot we don’t know. Why, then, this determination to judge and ridicule everything and everyone who seems different from us? Interestingly, do so in the name of democracy, because “those ‘barbarians’ will rob us of our freedom of speech; they will disrespect us and our opinions” I can hear the cynics saying. It seems, however, that what the cynics urgently need, they will find in a dictionary, under the definition of the entry ‘irony’. When we face the music and acknowledge the fact that we don’t know everything about everything, and could, perhaps, surprisingly be a little wrong the ‘obvious’ seems to shrink at a shocking speed, doesn’t it?

35

OPINIONATED

My Cat is Transsexual!

By Youssef Saad Eldin

LET ME CLARIFY A COUPLE OF IMPORTANT THINGS BEFORE I GET INTO THIS NOT-SOCUTE STORY. THE FIRST ONE IS THAT IT’S NOT REALLY MY CAT. IT’S MORE OF A “FAMILY PET”; ONE THAT THEY GOT AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGMENT (I’M MORE OF A DOG PERSON). I KNOW THAT THIS SEEMS A BIT IRRELEVANT, BUT I FIND IT A BIT WEIRD FOR A GODFEARING HETEROSEXUAL MAN TO OWN A CAT! 36 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

The second thing is that apparently transsexual is not the right word for it; the correct term is hermaphrodite. A hermaphrodite animal is an animal In addition to the aforementioned social rights, I do know for a fact that which has both male and female sexual organs, while a transsexual is an unemployed Swiss citizen living on social welfare is living a more somebody who sort of flipped to the other side! luxurious life than an “esteemed” full-time employee such as myself (Ba2orr... who wouldn’t!).

Anyway, the story goes as follows: a couple of months ago we got a kitten; 45 days old to be more precise. It was a female (or so foolishly So when you live in a country like this, finding a cause becomes a pretty we presumed). Two weeks ago I was playing with the little bugger when tricky quest; I mean when unemployment is at its minimum level, you suddenly (and I shit you not) I find this little penis coming out of nowhere, have ridiculously high living standards, a government that actually has a couple of minutes later it’s back where it came from! clue about how to run a country, and being one of the most environmentfriendly countries (so much for tree hugging) then there is practically No matter how much time I spend trying to explain how traumatized nothing left to complain about! But guess again, because there will I was, no one will understand! I mean I stood there like an idiot for a always be an asshole who doesn’t recognize his cat’s sexual rights. couple of minutes, doing nothing but staring into nothingness with all signs of stupidity on my face.

I’ve always thought of myself as a very liberal and tolerant person. I believe in gender equality, I’m one of the very few people I know who It took me some time and determination to snap out of it, and after I actually believe that anyone’s sexual orientation is a personal and private finally did, I started asking around to make sure that what I saw was matter. I believe in freedom of religion or the lack of one! I believe in so actually what I thought it was. Turns out that this condition is not that many things that would safely classify me as a liberal person. However, I uncommon! couldn’t comprehend what my Swiss friends said. All I could think of was my lame-ass theory.

For some reason I decided to tweet about my traumatizing incident, I wrote something along the lines of “WTF my cat is transsexual”. After Then it hit me; what if I’m wrong? What if my inability to comprehend I made the tweet, I got shocked… again! And this time it was a bigger what they said is identical to an average Egyptian man’s inability to shock! accept homosexuals, or a Muslim extremists’ inability to comprehend that Christians should have the same rights as Muslims? What if we (as Two friends of mine, who happen to be Swiss, didn’t like what I said a nation or as a society) are so far behind in the evolution ladder to the about the cat. One of them told me something like “You should have extent that our little 3rd world country brains don’t get it? more sympathy… it’s embarrassing”, the other one said “Sexually intolerant people are usually people who have problems with their own I mean try to go to a poor neighborhood and preach about global sexuality”. warming or any other environmental issue; no one will remotely understand or at the very best agree on how important it is. If you can’t After I shook off the effect of what they said, only one thing came to afford to eat you’ll find it a bit hard to worry about trees and carbon mind: “Are you fu*king kidding me? It’s a goddamn cat!” dioxide emissions!

After a heated debate, they came to the conclusion that I’m an intolerant person because I don’t respect the sexual rights of animals, while I came to the conclusion that they should seriously consider moving out, and join us here on planet Earth.

I’ve always had this theory that some people just need to have a cause to fight for. The cause itself is not the issue; it’s all about the concept of having a cause.

So when I apply this to them, it perfectly fits; I mean they live in Switzerland, a country where concepts like equality (whether it’s gender, social, or racial) are taken for granted, a country where your sexual orientation is absolutely no one’s business. Whether you’re straight, gay, lesbian, or transsexual is your choice and your choice only. Make no mistake, there is such a thing as an intolerant Swiss person; intolerance is a human trait that will never cease to exist. But the fact remains: intolerant Swiss people are frowned upon by their society.

So perhaps that’s the case; living in a country where living under the poverty line is more of a normal thing rather than an exception, a country where you can openly admit that you deserve more rights than people with different religious faiths, and a country where it’s normal to chase a guy down the street and beat the living shit out of him; for no other reason than your rejection to what he does in his own bedroom (true story)!

Are animals’ sexual rights that important, but we fail to see it because we have way more important crap to worry about?

That might not be the case, and it could be, in fact, not that big of a deal.

But the point is – and I do realize that this is a bit of a cliché – you always have to keep an open mind, you should always know that no matter how absurd the other argument sounds, there is always a fair chance of you being wrong.

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ALMOST EVERYBODY HAS GOT AT LEAST ONE AND IT’S REFERRED TO AS “DARK” FOR A REASON. THERE’S ALWAYS THIS ONE EXPERIENCE (PERHAPS MORE) THAT YOU DECIDE TO KEEP TO YOURSELF. AND THE REASONS FOR THAT DIFFER LARGELY; YOU MIGHT BE EMBARRASSED BY IT, YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN TRAUMATIZED BY IT COULD BE DEEMED AS “SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE”, YOU MIGHT GET IN TROUBLE IF IT GOES PUBLIC, HECK, IT COULD BE JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE KEEPING IT IN THE DARK!

No matter the reason, there’s always something that you’ll never know about someone, even if they’re the closest person to you. We conducted a survey about the topic and the responses were very interesting to say the least.

Literally, everybody has one!

For starters, to make sure that our hypothesis was correct, we asked those who took the survey whether they have a dark secret in the first place. And guess what? They all do! Nonetheless, 31% percent said that there’s someone who knows about that secret, whereas the other 69% percent have never told a soul.

Shame, shame, shame Why do people keep their secrets held within? Well, it seems that over half of them (50.8%) are embarrassed by their secret, and surprisingly, 24.6% like having it as their little secret! We’re a devious bunch aren’t we?!

On the other hand, 13.5% reported that they can’t tell anyone because they’d get in a lot of trouble and 11.5% are holding their silence because there are others involved.

Societal pressure A whopping 30.4% percent of the surveyed consider their secret to be 3eeb, 7aram, embarrassing, wrong and illegal! “3eeb we 7aram” was the response of 25%, “simply wrong” was that of 23.2% and “very embarrassing” was that of 12.5%. If anything, this goes to show how societal norms and regulations really put pressure a person when judging his own actions; you’re either considered immoral, a sinner or an outcast.

This is can’t be traced back only to the norms and regulations though, it’s how people judge and perceive your actions.

The best example to the aforementioned is a couple of responses that we got. The first person said that his secret “won’t be understood by common mentalities” whereas the second claimed that his experience “needs more time to be normal”.

Sexuality and relationships Apparently, 53.6 % have kept in secrets pertaining to sexuality (anything sex-related or has something to do with sexual preference) and 39.3% are pertaining to relationships. And neither has come as surprise to us really; both are considered taboos within this culture. The runner-ups were 12.5% to harming someone (theft, physical abuse…etc.), 10.7% to psychological issues, another 10.7% to family issues and 7.1% or a traumatizing experience. And regarding that last one, one of the responses was “assault”.

How many f*cks are you giving?

Well obviously, the majority don’t really give any! 52.5% said that they don’t feel guilty about their secret and 47.5% do.

Moving on?

Most try not to think about their secret, let bygones be bygones (44.4%), 22.2% are still haunted by it and an equal percentage (22.2) think of it as a lesson learned. A few have even considered talking to someone about it, or seeking therapy (11.1%).

Here’s how some are dealing with their secret: • “Ast3’afer rabena” • “I still don’t mind it... lol” • “Waiting for best time to reveal it” • “Already over it! The moment you talk to someone about it and start phrasing it you instantaneously realize just how ridiculous and insignificant it really is • “I’m enjoying my dirty little secret” Would you do it again?

Contradictory to the majority who were not guilty about their secret, “No” was the answer given by 47.5%, whereas 32.8% said that they’d do it again but they’d do some things differently and 19.7% said that they’d do it again, period.

Guess we’re all a little twisted inside, no?

Well, here are some replies that really show that when it comes to secrets, we’re all human, no exceptions: • “Just rabena yesm7nay, it is not that big deal, a lot of people do it, but me as person, I can’t do this and that’s why am ashamed of it!”

• “Since we’re being exposed in nearly every aspect of life nowadays with all the crazy technology around us; it’s cool to keep something just for yourself in a little black box where no one ever can unlock, no matter how close... gives one a sense of privacy and ownership!”

• “I’m scared till death that it will affect badly on my future” • “I will just say the words I have read before on Postsecret: “The only difference between our secrets is whether we allow them to evolve into tales of heroism or fear”. Here lies the dilemma that we face every day, are we able to go over these secrets and live our life normally and achieve or not.”

• “I’m bisexual”.

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[ CAMPUS QUIZ ]

Are you Islamophobic?

Islamophobia in general is the irrational fear of Islam, but that’s not the kind of Islamophobia we’re referring to, because that’s a global phenomenon that usually applies to citizens of non-Muslim nations. You see, Egyptians have developed their own version of Islamophobia.

The political rise of Islamists has triggered a wave of mass-panic amongst the majority of Egyptians and we all know that panic is never a rational emotion. So here’s a quiz to test if you’re being rational about the “bearded monsters” or if you need to calm the fu*k down!

You see a guy with a heavy beard, and your first reaction is: a) Fu*king Salafi! b) More and more Ikhwan on the loose. c) At least trim it man! d) Wish I could grow a beard like that.

The galabeya to you is a) The Salafi uniform b) The only non-7aram dressing attire c) Very freaking comfy when you’re wearing it at home! d) So last century!

Egypt is going to be a) The next Saudi Arabia/Iran! b) A country you wouldn’t really want to live in if you’re liberal or non-Muslim c) Who knows? Nothing is yet written in stone. d) Don’t care; if shit hits the fan, I’m gone!

Ya wad ya… a) Not funny! b) This is getting really old c) MO2MEN! NYAHA! d) Huh?

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The Islamists a) Have hijacked the revolution. b) Have betrayed us after we trusted them. c) Are playing politics. d) Suck?

The parliament is… a) A façade! A SCAF-sponsored deal! b) Proof that we’re a religion-dominated culture c) Bittersweetly funny, but a positive step nonetheless. d) Never bothered watching the sessions.

Fighting Ikhwan in Tahrir on the 27th of January was a) The best thing to do, serves them right! b) A must, but doesn’t change much; they’ll still backstab us again. c) Plain dumb. d) None of my business; it was the weekend, man!

The difference between a Salafi and an Ikhwan is a) No difference, when push comes to shove, they’ll both fu*k us up. b) Salafis are more radical, but Ikhwan are the ones to look out for. c) Don’t care; shouldn’t we be working to balance them out instead of worrying? d) Ikhwan won’t cut your ears off?

Result: • If your answers were mostly (a), you need to calm the fu*k down man, sheesh! You’re way too fixated and paranoid about the Islamist that you’re actually overestimating them!

It’s ok to be worried, but it’s not ok to obsess!

• If your answers were mostly (b), you’re one bitter dude.

You’re slightly phobic but your decent analytical eye balances that out. But you’re still seeing things through a bleak, pessimistic, perspective. Cynicism and caution are fine, but a little optimism won’t hurt.

• If your answers were mostly (c), you’re pretty darn objective, too objective and nonchalant, in fact! You retain high spirits and humor through and through but you also take some situations a lot more lightly than you should!

Don’t let your guard down!

• If your answers were mostly (d), we hope you’re enjoying it in that bubble, it must be a talent to mute the outside world like that! C

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] EYE CANDY ]

eye candy

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Jan 25 - Jan 28 © Mosa’ab Elshamy

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EYE CANDY

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Classic Is Sexy

] PATTERNS ]

Bershka- leather and suede dress

This winter classic materials like chiffon, suede, leather, and lace are infused in everything from skirts to blazers, with a special flare.

Zara – Skirt with uneven hemline

Marks and Spencer – Sheer lace short jumpsuit

River Island -- Hartley neon airtex dress

H&M - White lace jacket

s l r i G

Sequin Me Silly Sequins are a hit this season, whether in the form of fullsequin dresses, skirts, tops, or in designs patterns on different items.

The Netted Sweater One of the hottest items yet this winter is the netted sweater. If you own a shimmery one you can rock it at night, and if you want it to be even sexier, with a boob tube underneath.

Sequined hot shorts Zara - Sequined dress

H&M – Blue metallic netted sweater

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Boots Are Back Zara – Soft Micro-Perforated Ankle Boot

Berskha – Military Boots

s y u G

A year or two ago, seeing a guy rocking boots or tucking his jeans into them was too meterosexual for your average Egyptian guy’s or girl’s fashion taste. But now they’re back, and if anything they’re considered to be one of the hottest items of 2012.

Parka Parka Parka!

Parkas are trendy once again. Whether casual, dressy, wool or waterproof, Parkas are all over the place.

Zara – Synethic Leather and Micro-Knit Parka River Island – Navy Parka Jacket

The Old School Blazer- with a Twist H&M – Blue and Striped Blazer

Every guy owns a Blazer, but this year blazers have been taken one notch up, becoming just a bit eccentric; rom suede to multi-patterned to multi-coloured, they’re taking fashion houses by storm.

Just rock a black or white tee on this new favourite piece of Winter 2012, and you’ve got the look.

Marks & Spencer –Sartorial Blazer

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PATTERNS

FASHION BULLETIN Amy Winehouse Leaves Another Legacy Behind Other than her unique voice, Amy Winehouse’s had always been known for her fashion taste, from the beehive hairdo, to the cat-like eye makeup, to the ballerina pumps. For that reason, the fashion house of Jean Paul Gaultier honoured Winehouse by inspiring the Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2012 collection as a tribute to her. Other than the fact that this show received massive attention, this fashion house once again amazed us with its edgy cuts and fabrics. Needless to say, the models paraded up and down the catwalk to music from Winehouse’s latest album.

Christina Ricci: Your Favourite Girl from Next Door We all grew up watching Christina Ricci, from her role as a kid in Casper up until her latest feature in every girl’s new favourite show Pan Am. Ricci’s simple yet striking allure has always intrigued fashion designers.

This February and March, she’s all over Oyster #97 magazine, in a magnificent photo shoot by the infamous Gregory Harris who has also shot for GQ and Iceberg, and with creative direction by Stevie Dance.

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Fashion Work-out!

And the record has been broken. Fashion bombshell and supermodel Yasmine Le Bon waltzed down the runway of Stephane Rolland during Paris Couture Fashion Week of 2012 wearing a 100 pound dress. She had to be escorted down with two male models, who - with their sharp and handsome faces - still did not turn heads away from the dress.

Every Girl Wants an Elie Saab Every girl in the world thinks about her wedding frequently, and if a girl tells you otherwise, know that she’s lying to you. For Spring/Summer 2012, Elie Saab brings his most enchanting line yet, with dainty, frilly, innocent-looking pieces that would make a treasured addition to any wardrobe. Even if you’re happily single for now with no wedding plans soon, you sure want to be all dressed up for the wedding of one of your 15 best friends, and we know in Egypt not a single season passes without someone you know getting hitched - or someone’s cousin at least. This collection brings the delicate inner girl inside each of us out. After all, sometimes a girl just wants to look pretty.

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PATTERNS

‫ص‬ Stylish studded cardigan from B Designs (EGP 380)

Simple brown ballerinas from Set El Setat (EGP 610)

La Toalla Babouska Poncho in Gold (EGP 750)

MADE IN EGYPT

Printed silk top in black from Cairo Koshk (EGP 480)

Amina K double-sided patched cape (EGP 680)

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Just for Kicks

PATTERNS

(Can you spot these sneakers around Cairo?)

THIS MONTH WE WERE CAPABLE OF GETTING AN EXCLUSIVE UP-AND-CLOSE INTERVIEW WITH A SHOE-A-HOLIC, AND NOT YOUR TYPICAL GIRL WITH HER SHOE CLOSET OF STILETTOS. HE CHOSE NOT TO REVEAL HIS IDENTITY, NOT BECAUSE HE’S ASHAMED, HE’S JUST NO FAN OF THE SPOTLIGHT. SO LET US SEE IF YOU COULD SPOT THIS SNEAKER HEAD IN CAIRO!

1. PUMA X BODEGA SPY II HI Got these online a while back. MAD magazine was a large chunk of my pop culture education growing up, so these were pretty much a no-brainer. Bodega is a really fresh streetwear store in Boston, for the unaware.

2. UBIQ BO-RO MID These were one of three sneaker purchases from my first and only ever pilgrimage to Tokyo. Ubiq is one of my favorite Japanese brands, and pretty much all my favorite brands are Japanese. A button fell off one of the shoes last year though, so every time I glance at them, a little part of me dies inside on some Prometheus shit.

3. TIMBERLAND BOOT COMPANY SUEDE AND LEATHER BOOT Until I purchase a pair of Lodger’s, these will be my all-time favorite boots. Like most sneaker fiends, I was a hip-hop head growing up, so the classic beige Timberlands are always going to be iconic to me. The slimmer profile on this pair and that mix of clean leather and dirty suede are ridiculous.

4. JORDAN SPIZIKE Probably my most cherished pair of sneakers. Another Tokyo cop. These combine a few of the most recognizable Jordan silhouettes, most notably the Jordan IV, still my favorite silhouette ever. The Spizike’s are perfect to me. The name refers to Spike Lee, who directed and starred in a famous Jordan commercial back in the day, and the Mars Blackmon character he portrayed. That’s Blackmon’s face on the heel of one of the sneakers.

5. REEBOK X ROLAND BERRY CL NYLON RBC PATENT I will absolutely never wear these. I just had to have them. Questlove from The Roots had a quote upon releasing his hotly-debated Air Force One shoe for Nike that I think sums up most sneakerheads’ outlook on footwear. It went something like: “There are no ugly sneakers. There are beautiful sneakers and there are conversation pieces.” I loved that. The Roland Berrys are one of my “conversation pieces”.

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Shoreditch

] THE GREEN PASSPORT ]

An East London Hidden Treasure

By Hend Ghorab

I THOUGHT AFTER VISITING LONDON SEVERAL TIMES, NOT TO MENTION LIVING THERE FOR A SEMESTER, THAT I WOULD KNOW PRETTY MUCH MOST OF ALL THE PLACES THERE. BUT THIS ALL CHANGED LAST SUMMER, WHEN I DISCOVERED SHOREDITCH. When someone hears of East London the images that come to mind are dodgy, smokey clubs, sketchy dark neighborhoods, hobos, and - if you’re a Stanley Kubrick fan - simply Clockwork Orange. All of this is more than enough to make you not willingly go to Shoreditch.

So when I asked one of my workmates during my summer internship in London where to go out in the weekend, and she suggested Shoreditch, my natural reaction was, “Isn’t it too dodgy to go to at night?” She started chuckling, obviously at my scared Egyptian ass, and proceeded to name me hotspots to go in Shoreditch, and all the models and DJs who go there.

I was tempted.

The next day I woke up early, took the tube and made it to Shoreditch.

First stop was ‘Prick’, a tattoo parlor. My friend and I were walking around, he wanted to get a tattoo, and we came across that place that looked legit and just decided to go in. As we were waiting for an artist to free up, we decided to look through the book, and to our delighted surprise, we discovered that Alexander McQueen and Amy Winehouse had actually been tattooed there!

After two hours of tattooing, we were super hungry. We walked into a random shop to grab a bite. It turned out to be one of the best breakfast places I have ever or will ever go to. It was called ‘The Breakfast Club’, I guess inspired from the series. It was very American, and not only did they have a proper breakfast menu; they had a cozy, homey atmosphere with greenery everywhere along with the best morning cocktails one could ever consume.

Wall next to a bookshop in Shoreditch

Street Art

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By then and after my stomach was content, I was already in love with Shoreditch and was itching to continue discovering the place. The whole neighborhood is extremely indie, with graffiti art on almost every wall, jazz clubs packed at 3pm, and little boutiques for the rich and poor souls - whether you want to buy yourself a vintage hat for 400 sterling or get yourself an army knapsack for 30 sterling; you’ll find it all in Shoreditch.

As we walked around we realized that the architecture in Shoreditch is completely rich and inspiring. You’d find yourself walking by one of those huge buttons found around the neighbourhood, and come across completely modern houses next to old British mews. My favorite building, which is was an apartment building fusing modern with old; where the penthouse is built in ultra modern style, while the rest of the building is all classic brick.

A while later this restaurant that looked interesting caught our attention; it was called ‘Book Club’. All the walking and exploring had got us hungry again, so we went in. It sure was unique. It’s essentially a bar/club, which is basically just an expansive room with tables scattered all around, a ping pong table, and books everywhere. Not only was the food exquisite, it was also buck cheap. For a cocktail you would pay 7 sterling, and any appetizer (which fills up at least 3 people) from 2.50-6 sterling. After a few rounds of ping-pong and stuffing our faces in the delicious plates we ordered, we decided to continue our tour.

Huge buttons randomly found on the street

When modern structure meets traditional style

We walked around Shoreditch some more until we came across my favourite discovery of the day – which became my favourite club in the entire world, ‘The Bedroom Bar’. Initially, this club did not look appealing; it was literally a hole in the wall blocked by a bouncer; so if you were just walking by without knowing there was a club there you wouldn’t even notice the door behind the guy. But one thing you definitely wouldn’t miss is the music coming out of the place. You’ll think it sounds familiar, but it’s not; the mixes they play there are unlike anything you’d hear anywhere else. We stood in the queue and, minutes later- for only 3 sterling- found ourselves inside ‘The Bedroom Bar’. It was huge, and filled with every type of party animal you could imagine, from the regular cha-cha made up girls to the Rasta lovers. The bar was divided into two areas, each with its different DJs and music style, but both had beds thrown across so when your pumps are killing you, you know where to be. The music was unbelievable; it was all live, which does not happen too often in your average club. All night long it was the DJ side by side with a brilliant saxophone player feeding off one another. Whether you’re into indie, reggae, rock, house, or pop, you’ll love ‘The Bedroom Bar’. They manage to give you every type of music with just the right frequency.

After dancing the night away at ‘The Bedroom Bar’ we left and grabbed a hot dog for 3 sterling, yet another cheap, delicious meal. We were lucky we spent our day in Shoreditch just like it should be spent, discovering the art, restaurants and clubs this special neighbourhood had to offer. If you’re ever in London, make sure you give Shoreditch a try. I promise you won’t regret it. After that first awesome, aesthetically-driven day I spent there, I knew I was going to find myself there again the next day… and I did.

The Bedroom Bar, club we visited at night

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[ SCREENS & SPEAKERS ]

By Yasmine Zohdi

Set in a small, isolated Lebanese village where a church and a mosque stand side by side, “W Hala2 La Wein?” (Where Do We Go Now?) is Nadine Labaki’s latest movie about religious conflict and the resolve of a group of stubborn, resilient women to prevent it at all costs.

The brilliance of the setting lies in the fact that the screenplay does not give the village a name, nor does it specify the timing or mention certain public figures; hence giving a certain universality and timelessness to the theme and making it accessible to everyone who watches. In one film, you see all that is wrong with the world, and all that is right about it, when single-minded force is tamed by love, wit, insight and pure instinct alone. Regardless where you’re from or what cultural background you belong to, you can relate to “W Hala2 La Wein?”

And perhaps this is why the film has received so much attention from international film festivals. It won an award in the Toronto International Film Festival, the Cannes Film Festival and the Doha Tribeca Film Festival, and was nominated for a Critics Choice Award. But the film’s message of religious tolerance is far from being the only special thing about it. Labaki’s attention to detail, the stunning imagery, Khaled Mouzanar’s hauntingly beautiful music coupled at times with Rasha Rizk’s mesmerizing voice, and the spontaneity of the acting, all combine to make the movie a cinematic masterpiece.

The film’s opening scene takes place at a barren graveside, where a group of village women are visiting the tombs of loved ones who had been killed in civil war, as we learn from the narration in the voice of Labaki herself, who plays the role of Amal. The women are dressed in black, clutching photographs of the men they had lost to their chests, and performing a mournful dance to a background of sad,

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anguished music. A small dirt path separates the Muslim graves from the Christian ones, and so the women then disperse, their religions defining their direction.

The women of the village share a very deep friendship, completely unaffected by their opposing religious beliefs. They have something bigger in common - their grief, and their fierce desire to protect the village – and their men – from any sort of sectarian conflict that could occur. This becomes obvious as they do everything in their power to keep news of Muslim-Christian disputes in other parts of the country from reaching the men – from changing the radio station, to burning the newspapers, and even sabotaging the only TV the villagers have access to.

But one day, an unfortunate incident disrupts the peace, and a fight breaks between a number of Muslim and Christian men. The women, knowing the grave losses that come with that kind of fights, are on a mission: distract the men and keep them from fighting against one another, whatever it takes. The movie then takes you on the journey of those strong, willful, loving women as they – with the help of the village’s sheikh and priest – indulge in a series of schemes and tricks devised to deter their men from clashing and maintain the harmony between the villagers.

Most of the movie’s big scenes take place in Amal’s coffee-shop, a small space where some repairs are being done, tended to by Rabih – Amal’s appealing love interest, who happens to be a Muslim. With Amal being Christian, their attraction remains unspoken, although the chemistry between them throughout the movie is almost tangible. The coffee-shop is where Amal and Rabih fantasize about one another, the men occasionally meet to chat and read the paper, and the women discuss their strategies. It was the setting of one of the film’s most moving scenes, where Amal breaks down as she scolds the men for acting violently, and one of the most humorous as well – when the women gather to cook for their husbands and sons, adding drugs to the ingredients in one of their attempts to distract them, singing the playful “Hashishet Alby” in the process.

“W Hala2 La Wein?” is one of the most touching films I’ve seen in a long time. Something about it reminded me of “Chocolat”, one of my very favourite movies. Perhaps it’s the quaint atmosphere of the village, the dialogue – simple yet loaded with meanings, or the coffeeshop – here taking the place of the patisserie in “Chocolat”. Whatever it is, the film had the same spellbinding effect on me.

I was taken to a world of struggle, beauty, pain, laughter and romance – so full of imperfections, yet so perfectly created. It’s one of those few movies that will have you glued to your seat at the movies for an extra two seconds after the credits roll onto the screen, reluctant to go back to your ordinary life. And even when you do go back, you’ll download the soundtrack and keep listening to it every chance you get.

Yes, believe me, it is that good. Just go see for yourself. C

And that’s the thing about the movie – you’ll find yourself moving from one emotion to the other with a skillful smoothness only few filmmakers are capable of. It takes you from tears to laughter, just like that. The movie’s ending is wistful and amusing all at once. In the final scene, the question that is the movie’s title is used in a way that is nothing short of genius.

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SCREENS & SPEAKERS

THE GUITAR DOCTOR

By Mohammed Jamal Photography By Sally Fakhr

BORN IN 1961, THIS MAN LIVED A LIFE THAT IS EXTREMELY RANDOM YET VERY INTERESTING AND FRUITFUL. ADEL SAKR GRADUATED FROM THE FACULTY OF MUSIC, HELWAN UNIVERSITY IN 1986, MAJORING IN PIANO AND UPRIGHT BASS, THEN HE JOINED THE ARMY TO SERVE HIS MILITARY TIME, WHICH WAS OVER IN 1987. ADEL THEN HE MOVED TO MUNICH, WITH NO PLAN AND NO SPECIFIC TARGET, ONLY AN URGE FOR KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE. HE ENDED UP LIVING THERE FOR 17 YEARS. HIS LIFE JOURNEY IS BY FAR ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING AND INSPIRING STORIES I HAVE EVER HEARD. HE HAS WORKED A VARIETY OF JOBS, FROM GUITAR REPAIR-MAN TO ACCOUNTANT TO PHOTOGRAPHER. HE WAS DEFINITELY A STORY WORTH EXPLORING. I GAVE HIM A CALL TO SCHEDULE AN INTERVIEW AND HE WAS KIND ENOUGH TO INVITE ME TO HIS GUITAR REPAIR SHOP/SHOWROOM LOCATED IN ZAHRAA EL MAADI, THE PLACE I LIKE TO CALL THE “GUITAR CLINIC”, THIS IS AN ATTEMPT TO SHOW PEOPLE A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT A PERSON WHO HAS BEEN, FOR YEARS, VERY INFLUENTIAL IN THE LIVES OF EGYPTIAN MUSICIANS. I ALSO WANTED TO FIX MY GUITAR, A JOB HE DID QUITE AMAZINGLY WHILE BEING INTERVIEWED! 56 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

Campus: Did you study guitar at university?

Adel:No. Back then, guitar wasn’t part of the syllabus, unfortunately. It was too modern.

C: Why did you move to Germany? Was there a specific purpose behind leaving?

A: No, not at all. Thing is, until the time I joined the army, life to me was very “pink”. But after joining the army, I discovered the reality of my country, suppression and injustice. It’s inexplicable really, I saw soldiers being punished in military prisons and I saw how horrible the treatment in jail was; so inhumane that a lot of them attempted suicide.

I have personally never been punished in the army. Nevertheless, after finishing my military service, I realized that I have been living in a world that is very different from reality. So I left the country exactly 30 days after leaving the army.

C: Why Germany?

A: Heya elli 3edla! It’s a leading country in education and production. I was young and I had nothing to lose, and Germany was on top of my list so i decided to go there. After graduating I was still thirsty for knowledge, and I wanted to study and learn about everything I was passionate about, like carpentry, car mechanics and photography, but we had no such specialized schools in Egypt. There was no way to enhance your skills in anything outside of the school or university campus. E7na ayyamna kan el telephone abu 2ors! (laughs) C: And what made you come back after 17 years?

A: I was getting old and I had enough of jumping around; I had to come home, settle down and start a family.

C: Back to the things you’ve studied in Munich. What did you end up learning?

A: I signed up for Carpentry and Cooking. I was very passionate about both and I have benefitted a lot from being a carpenter and a good cook; I eat very well and I was able to make my and my siblings’ furniture when each of us was getting married.

C: While you were learning all those things, how did you make a living in Munich?

A: I worked at a guitar repair shop for a long time, first as a full time job and then as a part time job when I started working for a photography agency. The owner of the shop was a very good friend of mine who was also a musician. It all started when one day he invited me to his guitar repair shop so we could jam together. So I went and we played music for a while and he showed me around his shop, and I told him that I have quite some knowledge about fixing guitars and that I would want to continue doing that at his shop if he’d let me. And it started from there.

C: We’ll get back to your guitar repairing experience later, but for now tell us about how you started to work as a photographer.

A: I used to work at a photographers’ agency as an accountant. It was a French-German company run by Jews. (Smirking) European Jews not Israelis. Anyway, I had never owned a camera, never wanted to own one and was never even interested in photography; I knew nothing about it, nothing at all.

And then one day, there was a very important political conference and I had to attend that conference for work purposes. My company had assigned four photographers to take pictures of the conference but they were really late and then my boss was informed that their car got into an accident and that they were all transferred to the hospital!

The conference had already started and we needed not less than 4-5 photographers to get the job done, thousands of pictures had to be taken. All of a sudden my boss came up to me and handed me a camera and asked me to start taking photos. I was surprised and told him bluntly that I didn’t know how it even works; I didn’t even know what button to click. He insisted because the company’s reputation was at stake, so we had no choice. So he showed me the basics and as soon as I started, based on my memory of the hundreds of pictures I see every day at work taken by other professional photographers, I started taking pictures nonstop. And to my surprise, after 3 hours, I had finished the bag of films I was given to use with the camera.

A few days later, I received a letter from my company saying that they had signed me up for an intensive fully paid 6-months photography

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SCREENS & SPEAKERS

course and that I had to take that course and come back to the company to be re-hired as a photographer. I would still be on a payroll salary during those 6 months, and if I didn’t take that they would fire me!

Naturally I went into the chief’s office with the letter the next day and asked for the reason behind that decision. He showed me my batch of pictures taken at the conference and I was surprised as he was by the amazing pictures I had taken; professional and very few had errors in them. So apparently I had a talent that I didn’t know of!

So I took the course and became a photographer for the next 7 years, until I came back to Egypt. I made good money out of it and travelled to many places I would have never thought I would ever visit!

C: Did you ever work as a professional musician?

A: I played guitar in Germany but not a lot. Being a beggar would have paid more! (Laughing) The supply was huge but the demand for musicians was very limited because there were thousands and thousands of musicians in every city, but venues hired musicians only on weekends because that’s when people go out. Here in Egypt, however, people go out every day so it’s easier to be a musician.

So after I came back to Egypt I worked as a professional musician for a while, a year almost, at first with a jazz trio at Harris Pub in Marriott Zamalek, and at a place that used to be called “Blue Moon”. And then I joined a big orchestra led by a very well known conductor and composer, Hany Farahat, that used to play for singers like Angham and other famous singers from the Gulf like Rabeh Saqr. The orchestra used to travel a lot and play in many festivals in the Arab world with those superstars; I played in Jeddah Festival, Salalah Festival in Oman, Dubai, Carthage, and Beirut.

I was a lead guitarist in the orchestra until I eventually quit in 2005.

C: Ok now back to guitar repairing, how did you discover that guitar repairing was going to be your final stop as a career? And why? And how did you learn that very specific craft?

A: The fact that I had learned carpentry helped a lot in my knowledge of wood and using carpentry tools, taking measurements, knowing properties and specification of different kinds of wood etc.

And like I mentioned, I always liked to fix things, even when I was in college, whenever any of my friends had anything they needed to fix I would voluntarily do that for them just because I loved to and I could get to the bottom of any object that needed fixing.

And when I started working at my friend’s guitar repair shop in Munich, there was a master guitar repair man who worked there too, someone who knew how to make a whole guitar, and I slowly picked up on that craft from that master, who was old and very witty and experienced at the job. It wasn’t easy to pick up the craft from him because he had to make sure that I was really willing to learn because he didn’t want to waste his time with some rookie. Later on I used to take small repair jobs and then I took it gradually from there until I became a master myself. Reading also helped me a lot.

The idea of starting my own repair shop came to me in the beginning of 2005 when I started becoming discontent and exhausted of playing and touring around with the orchestra.

So I decided to teach guitar and start my own repair shop. At first I was depending mostly on private guitar lessons until the repair shop we2ef 3ala reglo. My first location in 6th of October of course was not convenient but as soon as I moved here to Zahraa El Maadi the repairing business became better thank God because of this central location.

C: Were you ever faced with a guitar that you couldn’t fix? Or one that was very difficult to fix?

A: Ah yes, difficult to fix yes, a lot of times. But I was never unable to fix a guitar thankfully. Unless it was totally damaged of course, but I never came across any customer with a totally damaged guitar.

C: Did you ever go back to Germany for a visit?

A: I did that once and I never did it again!

58 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

C: Why? A: It’s depressing to go to Europe and come back to Cairo again; it’s always a culture shock. So I decided I will not travel again. I’ve had my share and whenever I want to take my wife and kids out for vacation I’d rather go to Nuweiba or something.

C: Do you ever consider playing music again?

A: I stop myself from that, I try to step on my emotional relationship with playing the guitar because if I sit down with my guitar and start jamming with my friends, I won’t stop, and hence I’ll have to postpone delivering the guitars that need to be fixed, and that wouldn’t be fair to my customers. So I’d rather not play at all, I just stick with teaching and fixing!

[ BALLS ]

By Michel Antoun

Well, sports in general are considered to be a good thing. It’s a fun way to exercise, healthy competition, teaches you certain skills, and in a professional athlete’s case, a shitload of money.

Later this year in the summer, the London Olympic Games are set to take place. One of the biggest sporting events in world history, and with good reasons too. All kinds of sports are contested at the Olympics, with athletes from all countries represented at the games, all competing for the gold.

Now this got me thinking about the different types of sports taking place at the games, from team sports such as football, handball, basketball and volleyball, to individual sports such as track and field and swimming. Of course everyone is a fan of certain sports, no one watches everything and you naturally have preferences.

Now, with all due respect to all hardworking athletes out there, there are certain sports that are just weird. Here’s a list of the weirdest sports out there in my humble opinion:

60 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

Synchronizedæ Swimming:

Equestrian:

ItÍ sæ prettyæ muchæ translatedæ intoæ dancingæ inæ theæ pool.æ Itæ doesnÍ tæ reallyæ lookæ likeæ dancingæ becauseæ allæ youæ canæ seeæ areæ theiræ handsƒ æ thatæ is,æ untilæ theyæ diveæ andæ showæ youæ theiræ feet.æ Iæ guessæ theæ factæ thatæ theyæ memorizedæ whenæ toæ moveæ theiræ handsæ andæ feetæ toæ theæ musicæ whileæ keeping afloat does indeed deserve a medal for the team that does it best.

Theæ artæ ofæ horse-riding,æ notæ thatæ itÍ sæ weirdæ really,æ butæ whyæ isæ itæ aæ sport?æ Inæ thisæ caseæ theæ horseæ isæ theæ athleteæ andæ theæ competitionæ isæ prettyæ muchæ gymnasticsæ foræ horses.

ñ Artisticî æ Gymnastics: Gymnastics in general is actually very difficult, but then there’s artistic gymnastics.æ Forgetæ theæ balanceæ beam,æ horizontalæ bar,æ parallelæ bars,æ theæ horse and all that because they seem fine and sometimes impressive.

Then you have the floor routine, one person pretty much is dancing withæ aæ ribbonæ oræ aæ ballæ whileæ runningæ aroundæ doingæ routines.æ Obviouslyæ Iæ donÍ tæ getæ itæ andæ Iæ donÍ tæ wantæ to.æ Thisæ competitionæ isæ foræ bothæ menæ andæ women,æ butæ itæ seemsæ thatæ womenæ performæ theiræ routineæ toæ musicæ whileæ menæ donÍ t.æ DoesnÍ tæ makeæ itæ anyæ lessæ gayæ thoughæ now,æ doesæ it?

Soæ theyæ takeæ aæ ball,æ throwæ itæ inæ theæ air,æ runæ andæ thenæ catchæ itæ whileæ doingæ somethingæ acrobatic.æ Soundsæ likeæ aæ challengeæ betweenæ twoæ 12-yearoldsæ toæ meæ andæ interestinglyæ enough,æ mostæ ofæ theæ peopleæ whoæ takeæ partæ inæ thisæ sportæ lookæ likeæ 12-year-oldsæ too!æ Mightæ soundæ harshæ butæ itÍ sæ actuallyæ true,æ theyÍ reæ maybeæ 16æ oræ 17æ yearsæ ofæ ageæ butæ lookæ likeæ theyæ areæ maybeæ ten.æ Iæ thinkæ theæ bodyæ typeæ isæ aæ requirementæ oræ something.

Problemæ is,æ thereæ areæ manyæ competitionsæ withinæ equestrianæ andæ theyæ allæ seemæ theæ sameæ toæ me.æ Thenæ thereæ isæ polo,æ theæ rideræ holdsæ aæ stickæ andæ shootsæ theæ ballæ whileæ ridingæ theæ horse,æ whichæ reallyæ makesæ littleæ senseæ toæ me;æ itÍ sæ prettyæ muchæ exactlyæ theæ sameæ asæ hockeyæ butæ onæ horses.

Iæ mustæ sayæ thoughæ thatæ theæ wayæ theæ riders,æ knownæ asæ jockeys,æ dressæ areæ prettyæ funny.

Iæ tookæ aæ quickæ lookæ atæ theæ rulesæ tooæ andæ couldnÍ tæ stopæ laughing.æ Ridersæ mustæ beæ atæ leastæ 16æ yearsæ ofæ ageæ andæ theæ horseæ mustæ beæ atæ leastæ 7.æ Ofæ courseæ asæ isæ theæ caseæ withæ allæ sports,æ theæ athletes,æ inæ thisæ caseæ horses,æ mustæ takeæ drugæ testsæ toæ makeæ sureæ theyÍ reæ notæ onæ ñ steroidsî æ alongæ withæ theæ expectedæ veterinaryæ checksæ toæ makeæ sureæ theyÍ reæ notæ carryingæ diseases.

Allæ inæ all,æ Iæ haveæ toæ sayæ thatæ asæ aæ sportsæ fan,æ theæ Olympicsæ areæ somethingæ toæ lookæ forwardæ to,æ noæ doubtæ aboutæ that.æ Butæ inæ someæ cases,æ theæ Olympicsæ canæ beæ weirdæ inæ theiræ ownæ way,æ asæ isæ theæ caseæ withæ everythingæ elseæ inæ life.æ C

Iæ almostæ forgotæ toæ mentionæ thatæ inæ theæ routineæ thatæ isæ performedæ byæ aæ team,æ theyæ throwæ theæ ballæ toæ eachæ other,æ andæ ifæ anyoneæ happensæ toæ dropæ it,æ theæ teamæ loses.æ Theæ rulesæ themselvesæ soundæ likeæ aæ gameæ foræ 12-yearolds,æ sorryæ ifæ IÍ mæ beingæ redundant.æ ItÍ sæ aæ tadæ annoyingæ toæ meæ thatæ thisæ isæ inæ theæ Olympicsæ whileæ otheræ games,æ suchæ asæ squash,æ arenÍ t.æ Greco-Romanæ Wrestling: LetÍ sæ getæ straightæ toæ theæ pointæ here.æ Atæ someæ pointæ duringæ theæ match,æ anæ athleteæ hasæ toæ getæ downæ onæ hisæ kneesæ onæ allæ foursæ whileæ theæ otheræ oneæ isæ supposedæ toæ putæ hisæ armsæ aroundæ hisæ chestæ andæ stomach.æ Why?æ Whyæ wouldæ youæ makeæ suchæ aæ rule?æ Thereæ isæ absolutelyæ noæ needæ foræ thatæ inæ aæ gameæ whereæ youÍ reæ supposedæ toæ throwæ youræ opponentæ toæ theæ ground!

Ironicallyæ thisæ isæ aæ sportæ whereæ Egyptiansæ haveæ wonæ severalæ medalsæ throughoutæ theæ years!

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] FROM THE READERS ]

The Missing Edge

By Mahmoud Mansi

“Colours do speak much, but when I look around I see everything dull, with no brightness that defines the magic of each colour. I don’t know where all the brightness went and why. This country used to be The Conqueror of All, but now the streets, buildings and trees carry the same sad look that one sees on a poor donkey. It’s like that each photograph one takes in this place needs to be fed lots of contrast and fake colours.

I have been to other lands where I took pictures, and they never needed any sort of editing. Even my people seem unclear too in my pictures. I do impose a magnanimous amount of effort to manage to make them look good. People do not feel like taking care of their beauty anymore and they manage to find the right photographer to make them look wonderful and natural. Pictures do not lie indeed, they reflect the defaced morals of people, they reflect the merciless society that whips and burns and they reflect the talent of the photographer who was able to gather an overwhelming amount of hardships in one shot. That is why I find you different; I find you so bright between this dullness. My camera sees you clearly and I dare not edit a thing on how you look. I fear destroying you through exchanging your heavenly natural beauty with an earthly computerized one. You are the one I long to marry, for our children will need no adjustments or edits… they might be the ones who would bring blessed life to our cursed land.”

“If the photographer finds the output unsatisfying, then why not edit the reality instead of the picture itself? And if pictures define us in one way or another, then the colours are only a dress the picture is wearing, and if the colour is changed, then it is only so because the photographer longs to have the power to dress and undress it.”

“This is true, and who does not want to change what one finds ugly?

Especially if this ugliness is attacking you, and eating at your own beauty!

I have tried to change reality, but when I fail, I do change the perception toward it.”

“And why don’t you try to find the beauty within the ugliness, and try to reveal it to others? That’s what I believe in…”

“Perhaps that’s what you are doing with me, showing me the beauty of your ugliness, so I see you the most beautiful of all, and I see your colors shining clearly…”

“Perhaps the problem is not in you, but in the people and places that fail to bring out their beauty through all the ugliness…”

“Then I will do the job for them, and make beauty out of their ugly pictures until they learn how to appreciate their own selves.”

© wonDerkAtt

“A harsh artist you are; or perhaps something else that I do not fathom yet.”

“Do not fool me with your wit; I know you understand everything… My secret is that I feed on the beautiful images of places and people like you to get inspired, and use them to give life to my other pictures. You see, I steal from the rich to give to the poor. I see both worlds, and it is painful to always live as an outsider entangled between both. The other half of the secret is that whenever I steal from you, your beauty level never drops, and I feel that I can never get enough. God, how hard and wonderful it is to live as an artist…”

62 FEBRUARY 2012 CAMPUS

“I am here to inspire art, which will in turn spread love, and will be there for you, always…”

“Can I take just one picture of you, until we meet again? The view behind you is strangely perfect.”

“You can…”

And so he did. She then smiled and walked away, as her royal scent followed her along the path. He stood for a while in deep meditation while her energy flowed through him, and then returned home. He downloaded all the pictures and hurried to open hers. Emptiness was there indeed, but she was not; only the background view that was dull as ever… the same streets, buildings and trees, a broken sphinx, a pale Nile… and all the fragments of the decaying past, staring back at him through the eyes of a poor donkey failing to draw a smile in front of a tourist’s camera.

FROM THE READERS

The Unleashed Capacity!!

By Noha Fathi Muhammad

“YOU FAILED!” IS A PHRASE YOU MIGHT HEAR FROM YOUR BOSS, YOUR PARENT, YOUR FRIEND, YOUR SPOUSE, OR YOU MIGHT SIMPLY FEEL, EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES SUCH A FEELING IS COMPLETELY ILLUSORY; IT ECHOES IN YOUR HEAD ON AND ON ONLY TO RAVAGE YOU SLOWLY FROM INSIDE. NOTWITHSTANDING THAT IT MERELY CONSISTS OF FOUR LETTERS, THIS LITTLE WORD “FAIL” CAN EASILY TURN YOUR WHOLE LIFE UPSIDE DOWN; IT HAS A MAGICAL POWER TO AFFLICT YOU WITH AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX, WHICH YOU MAY NEVER RECOVER FROM, AND ETERNALLY LEAVE YOU WITH A BROKEN SPIRIT AS WELL AS ALMOST NON-EXISTENT SELFWORTH.

The ignored reality is that nobody is a rank failure; rather each individual in this world is successful but in their own fashion. Before going any further, let’s first define the broad meaning of success in order to be able to identify it. Success is the achievement of something you have been aiming for after considerable effort and time. In case you hold the notion that you are a failure, it is time to ask yourself this question: “How often did I accomplish something I have been aiming for after considerable effort and time?”

and then try to figure out what capabilities enabled you to achieve each success. For instance, your success in quitting a bad habit reveals persistence and self- motivation. Your ability to have a strong impact on people is a sign of social intelligence, effective communication skills together with having some kind of charisma. Your contriving to help someone out of a predicament reflects resourcefulness and cooperativeness.

This very analysis gives you deep insight into your skills, which is instrumental especially when it comes to applying for a job or getting involved in a particular activity.

The second method is trying your hand at something you have never done before. Should it work, you will have it to your credit. If not, at least you will learn something new out of this experience. Don’t ever be afraid to take your chances, and always remember the golden rule: “nothing ventured, nothing gained”.

Comprehending how your internal powers function is a real asset in the long-running battle for perfection in which failure is the sworn enemy. The moment it stabs you, the arising pain turns into internalized despair that gradually racks your entire soul. Ironically enough, this very failure can be beaten through your weaknesses. Despite the disheartening reality that on the whole the existence of weakness is an innate feature of human beings, successful people seem to thrive on reforming and mastering their frailties, converting them into a means to their progress.

Most probably the majority’s answer will be “many times”, once they refresh the memories, pushed inadvertently at the very back of their mind. This demonstrates how unaware you can be of your successes, letting them sink into oblivion, which accordingly culminates with allowing despair and disappointment to occupy a massive space of your life.

To make your answer more tangible, draw up a list of the successes you attained. Make certain you did not forget anything; you will find out, to your surprise, that there are plenty! Bear in mind that your success is not necessarily restricted to the area of work or study as its implications are virtually materialized on all fronts. It can be a skill you developed, a sport you excelled in, extra pounds you managed to lose, a bad habit you strived to quit, a significant impact you had on somebody, a person you helped out of a predicament. Through this list you will come to be conscious of the bright side within yourself. The side that might have been buried for ages though it embodies your triumph and keeps you away from the failure zone.

If you need to give a presentation for a certain purpose while you are a bad speaker, work diligently on improving your presentation skills and do much practice till you get the hang of it. If you are prone to introversion, engage yourself in activities to your liking which include team work, and bit by bit you will get to socialize over time. In a nutshell, getting over the weaknesses, that commonly appear in a form of a personality trait, lack of a skill/knowledge, or a negative attitude, is always possible as long as you possess the determined will that pushes you to turn your shortcomings into strengths.

Now let’s move to the counter part of yourself, or namely its dark side, which permanently resides in you but you rarely bother to explore.

That is why it is dark for you, almost unseen. The process of shedding light on this side can be conducted in two methods. The first, being highly rewarding if done systematically, requires a substantial amount of deductive reasoning. Bring the list of successes you wrote out earlier

Last but not least it, is worthy of mention that the more you live and learn about your own complicated human self, the more you realize it is impossible to fully understand its dimensions. Self is like space; its exploration is infinite. So there always remains this dark zone that continuously awaits us to solve its mystery, the mystery of our covert, imperceptible abilities.

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