7 Deadly Sins

BUZZSAW

7 Deadly Sins

burn, baby, burn April 2021

comment Maybe you’ve stayed up a bit too late indulging in the sweet distraction of the TikTok algorithm and sinking ever-deeper into your couch cushions. Maybe you’ve eaten more gummy worms during quarantine than you’re willing to admit. Perhaps these days a misplaced pair of earbuds provokes a lot more rage than you had once thought possible. Or maybe you felt that twinge of jealousy when you see someone going back to campus while you’re still Zooming in from your childhood bedroom. What makes them so great that they get to hide in their very own (rented) room?

Pride, greed, wrath, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony. We all feel them every once in a while, whether you’re a college student or a celebrity or an elected official. Maybe more often than usual given the state of the world. Now that Buzzsaw is back on campus (somewhat) we’ve seen our fair share of questionable behavior. From our administration turning its back on its faculty and staff to masks tossed in the mud, there’s plenty of bad to go around and a capacity for bad in each of us.

So if we must, for the time being, see our campus community and our personal lives descend into hell, we’re at least gonna do it in style. Maybe some things need to go up in flames before something better takes their place. In which case— Burn, baby, burn.

Managing Editor News & Views Ministry of Cool Prose & Cons Sawdust Seesaw Layout Art Cover Dividers (in order) Greed Pride Lust Gluttony Sloth Copyediting Web & Social Advisor Founders

Audra Joiner Rachael Powles Brennan Carney Jason Langford Sarah Borsari Joe Minissale Mae McDermott Syd Pierre Rachael Powles Adam Dee Chloe Levy

thank you, Jason!

Joe Minissale Joe Minissale Kaiser Klebes Guadi Fanelli Chloe Levy Kevin Gyasi-Frempah Julia Batista Carlos Figueroa Abby Bertumen Kelly Burdick Bryan Chambala Sam Costello Thom Denick Cole Louison

Write Us Our magazine exists to inspire thoughtful debate and open up the channels through which information is shared. Your comments and feedback are all a part of this process. Reach the editors by email at: buzzsawmag@gmail.com.

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News and Views

Current events, local news and quasi-educated opinions.

Upfront

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Selected dis-education of the month.

Ministry of Cool

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Prose and Cons

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Sawdust

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Seesaw

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Arts, entertainment and other things cooler than us.

Short fiction, personal essay and other assorted lies.

Threatening the magazine’s credibility since 1856.

Multimedia madness.

welcome to hell #OpenTheBooks COVID Confidential 3

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news&views

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#OpenTheBooks Fighting austerity and demanding transparency // by Kristen Gregg, Staff Writer; art by Carolyn Langer, Staff Artist

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n a world where you are one click away from a seemingly infinite amount of information and a global pandemic is pulling at the economy, it can be difficult to understand why Ithaca College continuously refuses to share its financial records and recently announced the termination of 116 fulltime equivalent faculty positions. These same questions are echoed by IC Open the Books, a coalition organized by students, alumni, faculty and passionate neighbors. They define themselves as a group of “Ithaca College students, faculty, staff, and alumni demanding an immediate end to layoffs and real decision making power,” according to their Instagram bio.

The decision to downsize the college was a result of the Academic Program Prioritization Implementation Committee, who believe that the student-to-faculty ratio should be changed from 9.4:1 to 12:1. Their full recommendations regarding the size of the college, which were finalized Feb. 18, can be found in “The Shape of the College” document on Ithaca College’s website. Even though the decisions have been made, third-year English and sociology major Julia Machlin, a leader of IC Open the Books, says the organization “will continue trying to have our voices and the voices of our faculty and mentors heard.”

In a message addressed to the Ithaca College community, President Collado deems this change necessary in order to “continue to prioritize student success and sense of belonging, to better respond to student interests, and to offer a high-quality experience that is accessible and affordable.”

However, as the existence of IC Open the Books proves, the college is doing the opposite of supporting its students by reducing its faculty. Mint Cadigan, a member of IC Open the Books and a second-year Writing for Film, TV & Emerging Media and English major at Ithaca College, agrees.

“Moving forward with the Shape of the College will undermine the faith our student body and community have in the administration,” said Cadigan.

The phrase “open the books” has been used to call for financial transparency. In relation to IC Open the Books, this phrase demands that the college present granular financials not viewable in the 990s, tax forms that tell the public about the financial information of the organization. They want to know why the college is deciding to lay off an alarming number of professors, especially in the middle of a global long-term crisis. The college community will not only lose mentors, advisors, supporters and leaders; those laid off will lose their livelihoods as well. The pandemic does not make employment easy for those in higher education. Aware of what’s at risk for fired faculty and staff, IC Open the Books doesn’t want to just know why these layoffs are occurring— they want the college to halt these layoffs entirely.

Another vital question is how many fired faculty and staff will be BIPOC, NTEN or of junior ranking. These are the staff Ithaca College needs now more than ever. They help shape the future of students that see themselves in them. Cadigan acknowledges that the professor who “guided me down the path of actually choosing to do a dual degree and become an English major” was one of the many being fired.

IC Open the Books is not just about this current moment at Ithaca College; they want to change how decisions are made. As they state in their #OpentheBooks letter to the college linked on their Instagram, they want to “be full partners in the decision-making and goal-setting processes for our college.” In other words, they wish to make decisionmaking more equitable, and to include those impacted by the decisions in the discussion.

The coalition has held multiple protests and rallies asking for transparency and a halt to the plans made by the college.

They have circulated an active document in which fired faculty may volunteer their names, departments, identities and any involvement in the IC community. They have demonstrated through social media and in front of Peggy Ryan Williams their disapproval of the college’s plans. On Feb. 22, two bills were passed through IC’s Student Governance Council, one that asks for financial transparency and another that announces no confidence in the APPIC’S recommendation.

If you are interested in becoming involved, IC Open the Books has meetings every Tuesday. They supply the link on their Instagram, which is @icopenthebooks.

Kristen Gregg is is a third-year creative writing major who wrote this whole article in Sharpie. They can be reached at kgregg@ithaca.edu.

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COVID Confidential

The perks and flaws of IC’s COVID violation reporting system// by Jay Bradley; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

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or colleges that have had to be remote in the fall, this semester is a test of observation, analysis and execution.

While there were plenty of examples and practices to learn from, there is still a lot that goes into keeping the students, faculty and community safe. This involves safety protocols, restrictions to classes, accommodating remote students and more.

For students, this is the first time they have been in the social situations and pressures of college for months. The standards of college experience—parties, bars, shows, hookups, dating, meeting in groups on-campus—have all been either altered or done away with for the time being. Many are anxious to restore their college lives, while others are nervous about the potential for the virus to easily spread if students break protocol.

Ithaca College, after deciding weeks before fall move-in to go remote, had months to prepare for its pandemic reopening for the spring semester. The halls and doors are adorned with colorful circles telling you where you can walk, stand, sit and eat. Classes are masked up and distanced, if not still online.

Testing is no longer done by swabs, but instead twice a week by saliva samples. Visitation between student housing is heavily restricted.

Needless to say, it is a very different world from what it was when students left for spring break in March 2020.

While these policies exist in most aspects of the school to keep students safe, their enforcement is another question.

“They’ll go into common spaces to eat, and then they’ll just leave their masks off when they’re done eating to chat, or shove extra chairs around tables and stuff,” says Ithaca College music student Miranda Lape of some other students she’s observed.

She says that because of this relaxed enforcement of protocol in certain locations, she has been going to rehearsals, but otherwise practices in her apartment due to worries about practice room policies not being followed. She says, for example, that students often do not allow the time required for airing out the room, and that she has witnessed students using rooms that they did not reserve in advance.

“You know, everyone is working around the system,” she says.

Lape is on the Music Dean’s Student Council. She says that while in a meeting, Ithaca College President Shirley Collado encouraged her and her classmates to use the community reporting form provided by IC to call attention to events that raise health and safety concerns.

“So then on Facebook, when people express that concern over people not following regulations, I communicated what she told the student council in our meeting, and then a bunch of students said they had done that and it wasn’t anonymous,” she explains.

One student, Elyse Ryden, says that an administrator told her in September that those reported will be notified of the one who submitted the form, and another student, Elliott Weil, told her that he could confirm that this was the case.

The form does not require the name of those filling it out, but according to the school, while students reported anonymously are still reminded of policies that may apply to the situation, the extent to which actions are taken largely depend on whether or not that identifying information is given.

“When an individual submits the form anonymously—we typically would not move forward with conduct charges, except in a situation where there was an imminent threat to health and safety,” said Assistant Director of Student Conduct and Community Standards Katie Newcomb in an email.

Christina Moylan, the Student Affairs and Campus Life Public Health Emergency Preparedness Director at IC, says that in order to move forward into a conduct phase; a follow-up after submitting a form with the reporter is often necessary, as otherwise there would not be sufficient information to take action.

“Without knowing who the people are for us to be able to... reach back out to them and say, ‘Can you help us understand a little bit more about the situation?’, it can make it very challenging for us to actually follow up on whatever the actual complaint is,” Moylan says. “I think the intention of the forum is not to out people who are sharing that information, but that the reality is that there is a point in the contract process… where that information may have to be shared.”

“We can never guarantee that the name of the reporting individual would not be shared, but we will do our best to not share the reporting student’s name when possible,” says Newcomb. Many students have been given consequences so far, she says, which range in severity depending on the risk and type of violation.

At least one student in the same Facebook thread said that the risk of being outed as a reporter made them hesitate to submit the form and potentially cause a confrontation.

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If the campus community is left to police itself, anonymity ought to be protected, especially if it prevents safety reports from being made. Whether or not a confrontation is likely, the possibility of being revealed as an accuser may cause issues, especially if the students interact throughout the day in classes, organizations, or through mutual friends.

While the policies of Ithaca College have been working so far, with case levels remaining low weeks after move-in, risks exist that students should not feel hesitant to speak up about if they see fit. Cornell was put into their ‘yellow’ alert level in early February following a party in Collegetown that created a case cluster, and Cortland police had to break up a nearly 100-person off-campus party.

Perhaps the methods to keep the campus safe and accountable have worked so far, and many want to get back to normal as soon as they can. Personal accountability is and will always be the key to managing COVID-19. There is no reason to expect or want the campus to observe students’ every action, but there is not yet a secure, accessible way to keep individuals accountable. Until doing so is risk-free to the ones making reports and students feel comfortable making them, the college limits its community’s ability to keep itself safe.

Jay Bradley is a third-year journalism major who’s the life of the party in the line to get vaccinated. They can be reached at jbradley1@ithaca.edu.

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The Dems Won. . .Now What?

A look at Joe Biden’s first months in office // by George Christopher, Staff Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor Editors’ Note: All information was up to date at the time of printing.

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he Biden administration will be a unique one. Coming after the extremely divisive Trump administration, where news cycles moved by faster than most people can think, transitioning to a more standard administration can make it easy for Americans to quickly tune out, or “go back to brunch” as some might say. But regardless of who’s in office, Americans must remain vigilant of what a president is doing, and what they aren’t doing. That’s why we’re going to take a look at the promises made by President Biden and whether he’s upheld these in his first weeks as president.

Beginning with economic policy, Biden made the response to the COVID-19 pandemic a cornerstone of his campaign, and chief among these promises was an expansion of COVID relief. Especially during the Georgia special election, Democrats (including Biden) leaned heavily on the promise of $2,000 checks. Unfortunately, they began to hedge on this promise almost immediately, shifting from $2,000 checks to $1,400 checks, in addition to the $600 checks sent out by the Trump administration earlier in the year. This is bad policy and bad politics. It never looks good for a party to hedge on promises so quickly, especially after it worked so well in two close elections in Georgia. Democrats promised swift and bold action if they were delivered a majority in the senate. The American people must have confidence that when given power, Democrats will deliver.

Another part of the COVID relief which appears to be stalling is the promise of a $15 minimum wage. This was another core policy prescription of Biden and other Democrats, even in swing seats such as Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock. Despite this, Democrats have faced pushback from Senate Republicans and even conservative Democrats, like West Virginia’s Joe Manchin. Manchin has become one of, if not the most crucial swing vote in the U.S. Senate. Still, Democrats thought they may have gotten a blessing in disguise. A CBO Report suggested the raise could cost 1.4 million jobs while raising 900,000 people out of poverty, also showing that the raise would affect the budget enough that it may qualify for the use of reconciliation. Reconciliation is basically a process which allows Democrats to bypass Republican hurdles and pass the bill with a simple majority. Unfortunately for progressives, the Senate parliamentarian saw it differently and rejected the raise in the minimum wage as part of reconciliation.

Other than these two high-profile planks, the rest of the COVID relief bill has been largely upheld by Democrats. Biden refused to bite at an insultingly scaled-down Republican version presented by Senator Susan Collins of Maine, and held strong on the rest of the bill, which includes important provisions about funds for vaccine distribution

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and local governments. The relief package was passed in the House with all but two Democrats voting in favor, and zero Republican support on Feb. 27. This shows that Democrats need to be prepared to move forward on legislation, even important pandemic relief, without Republican support.

The noble goal of bipartisanship can’t come before good governance.

Biden is also being pushed by left-wing activists, as well as Senate Democrats including Majority Leader Chuck Schumer of New York, to forgive at least $50,000 in student loan debt. Biden has said he is prepared to forgive $10,000 but claims he doesn’t have the authority to forgive the total $50,000. But Senate Democrats, including Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts, have insisted that Biden does indeed have the authority to forgive the total $50,000.

Proponents argue this measure will go a long way in lifting a generation of students out of debt and scale down income inequality along both generational and racial lines.

Let’s move to social policy. Immigration was perhaps the most contentious issue of the Trump era, or at least prior to the pandemic. Among the most divisive and outwardly bigoted was the so-called Muslim Ban, where the Trump administration barred travelers from several Muslim-majority countries after previously calling for a “total and complete shutdown” of Muslim immigration. Biden has rescinded this by executive order. Biden has also rescinded the family separation policy that was instituted under the Trump Administration. But Biden has not been above reproach. In February, the Biden administration opened its first migrant facility for children, sparking backlash from immigration activists who called the move a “step backward” and argued? that the facilities lacked transparency. Though the administration points to the fact that these facilities are operated by the Department of Health and Human Services and not ICE, many activists still view the move as a betrayal of Biden’s campaign promises.

For the LGTQIA+ community, Biden has come through on his promise to overturn the Trump Administration’s ban on transgender service members. Congressional Democrats have also moved to pass the Equality Act with the support of President Biden. This act would extend Civil Rights Act protections to members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Currently, this community is only protected by a Supreme Court interpretation of the Civil Rights Act which could be overturned by a different court. Though this decision is only about a year old, there is still concern over new Supreme Court interpretations since the conservative justices took a 6 to 3 majority on the bench this past October. Though this bill has already been passed in the House of Representatives, it may face roadblocks in the U.S. Senate.

On the environmental front, Biden has rejoined the Paris Climate Accord. Biden has also cancelled the Keystone XL Pipeline. This did cause some tensions in U.S.-Canada relations, but was a big victory for environmental and indigenous activists who had spent years fighting against the pipeline.

Finally, foreign policy has in some ways taken a backseat, over these past few months due to COVID. But Biden has drawn both praise and attack from activists over his foreign policies. Biden has moved to end the U.S.’s involvement in the war in Yemen, which has been a proxy war between Saudiled forces and Iranian-led forces. While left-wing activists were happy to see the U.S. move away from involvement, they were not fully satiated with the Biden administration continuing to warn the Houthi rebels in Yemen of further U.S. support for the Saudi-led government coalition.

The Biden administration has also made clear continued support for Juan Guaido in Venezuela. The struggle between Guaido and current Venezuelan leader Nicolas Maduro has been a point of contention among left-wingers who claim U.S. involvement as amounting to a coup and a destabilizing force in the country.

Biden even rattled some congressional Democrats with his decision to launch strikes against Syria without consulting with Congress. Representative Ro Khanna of California said the attack had “no justification” and Senators Tim Kaine and Chris Murphy both sought an explanation from the White House. Congressional Democrats have considered rolling back war powers for the President in response to the actions of the past few administrations.

Biden will also face a crucial decision with a deadline to remove the remaining U.S. troops from Afghanistan

by May 1. The agreement to do so has been continuously broken, but would certainly alienate activists who have been clamoring for an end to the conflict for years.

The Biden administration has a long way to go, but if Democrats want to hold onto control of the Senate and House in 2022 and the presidency in 2024, they must prove they can govern boldly and efficiently. Without this, they will alienate their own base of voters, and drive Independents into the hands of the Republican opposition. Good policy yields good politics, and good politics yields good policy.

George Christopher is a second-year journalism major who’s mad that this article is already outdated.

They can be reached at gchristopher@ithaca.edu.

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Repeat, Rewind TikTok Is Just What Tumblr Used to Be // by Mint Cadigan, Staff Writer

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n the last year, TikTok has taken over the social media bubble.

The short-format video sharing app has come to rival its predecessor Vine, in a way that is both surprising to anyone who was aware of TikTok in its earlier years of availability, and impressive, considering the cultural impact that Vine has had on the internet. As of July 2020, the app boasts an estimated 689 million monthly users. The platform, now a household topic especially after last year’s prospective ban, has exploded in popularity in a way few other social media platforms have in recent years. This popularity, of course, has garnered as much scrutiny as one can expect, and the app’s rapid development and popularity with specifically younger users (32.5% of the user base is 10 to19 years old, the largest percentage of any other age group) has older users reflecting on the trends they’re seeing evolve among the app’s younger crowd. Specifically, the 20 to 29 user base (29.5% of all users, second only to the 10-19 group) has noted a rise in similarities between TikTok and another platform, one that may trigger unfortunate flashbacks in any online person’s memory from the early 2010’s:Tumblr.

Around a decade ago, Tumblr became a popular blogging platform, used for a variety of purposes, but perhaps most infamously for the comedic text-based posts, referred to as “textposts,” that have circulated various social media platforms since Tumblr’s early years–open Instagram and go to your explore page, it likely won’t be long before you find one. Similarly, Tumblr was known for its LGBT community as well as its widespread fandom community. If you’ve ever heard the term “Superwholock,” that is the lasting influence of Tumblr. Tumblr was a blogging platform, almost entirely text-based, which highlights the curious nature of the TikTok comparisons, as TikTok is almost entirely video-based. Despite these differences, the apps have not escaped comparison, with many of TikTok’s older users insisting that the app is becoming Tumblr, a comparison steeped in fear from those looking back on Tumblr’s internet reign.

First, it’s worth examining TikTok’s start. It launched on the App Store in 2017, though became more widely available in 2018 after merging with Musical.ly, an app that allowed users to create short-form videos like TikTok, but with the sole intention of lip syncing or interacting with preexisting music and audio clips. The app had an immediate

burst of popularity, though not for the reasons one might expect. It became a jumping off point for online content creators, mainly on YouTube, to generate commentary on “cringe content” that emerged from the app. This includes users such as Kurtis Conner, Danny Gonzalez, Drew Gooden, Casey Aonso, and Cody Ko each of whom have garnered a massive online following as a result. Thus, TikTok became the popular app to hate, as it represented a newer iteration of Musical.ly. Musical.ly had previously garnered similar hate, especially as a result of male influencers on the platform that reminded many of the dark days of MAGCON, a widely revolted influencer group who dated back to Vine, much like several of the aforementioned YouTubers. It wasn’t until 2019 that the app would undergo a creative resurgence, with these content creators inspiring their viewers to download the app in search of more “cringe content,” a variety of content steeped in irony that was consumed not for its quality but for lack thereof, providing something for the consumer to mock as opposed to actually enjoy. The app saw a rise in popularity that transformed it from a factory for “cringe” to commentate on to a legitimate platform for creators of all kinds. It has since become a hub for influencers to launch their careers, and in-app popularity is enough that TikTok influencers were recently allowed to join SAG-AFTRA, the union in charge of representing the interests of actors and other media talent.

Though it now has the popularity to draw attention and warrant comparison, this still doesn’t explain where the comparisons to Tumblr come from. A TikTok by user @ lonelynymph, captioned “I’m mentally preparing for the worst, cause this app seems to want to outdo tumblr” lists a few reasons, primarily LGBT discourse, the concept of “straight” TikTok and a rise in NSFW (Not Safe for Work) content. These are all topics that will seem both familiar to most TikTok users, while striking an unfortunately reminiscent chord for many exTumblr users as well. Tumblr was often defined by discourse, and the perception of “sides” of Tumblr. The platform bred toxicity, with topics centering LGBT identities and their validity often causing controversy to erupt, especially as Tumblr found itself with an increasingly large LGBT community. It became an anonymous safe space, though it fell into the common trap of toxicity through the generation of discourse by queer people who were suddenly able to speak freely about their identities

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and thoughts on others, which proved to not always be a good thing. Notably, prominent figures in Tumblr’s LGBT discourse was largely white, and largely gay and lesbian, so much of the discourse centered on perpetuating false narratives and exclusionary opinions towards asexual and bisexual people.

TikTok has contributed its fair share to LGBT discourse as well, with videos under the tag #lgbtdiscourse accumulating 968.4 thousand views at the time of this writing. Once again, largely biphobic and transphobic users have generated discourse by falsely representing harmful arguments as sympathetic or even just directly creating false facts to further hateful ideologies. A TikTok by user @smallbisexualbitch with 46.3 thousand views breaks down the issues with the app’s penchant for wlw discourse, while similarly a tiktok under #biphobia by user @frannie.dc with 398.7 thousand views responds to a biphobic tiktok by breaking down its harmful arguments. These are examples of combatting the harm that emerges from LGBT discourse, but their existence also acknowledges the fact that the harmful views they are combatting are still being held and publicized on the platform.

In another, less disappointing instance of similarity, TikTok is drawing comparisons to Tumblr’s “sides” largely due to users’ relationship with the algorithm that promotes specific kinds of content to a user’s For You Page. It’s common for users to refer to themselves as on either “straight-” or “alt-” TikTok, with each community offering a different spectrum of creators and personas. This has become even further segmented as the user base grows, allowing for deeper content niches to be created, with users referencing different communities like “Farm tiktok,” “booktok,” “fashion tiktok,” “science tiktok” or even stranger examples like “frogtok” or “beanstok.”

Ex-Tumblr users will recognize this as the “sides” referenced on Tumblr so often, a primary example being the oft-summoned “science side of Tumblr,” mentioned in notes on posts about strange natural phenomena. The Tumblr account science-side-of-tumblr, a blog created to collect all “science side” posts in a singular place, boasts millions of notes throughout its existence. In fact, one of the most popular contributors to the abstract, nebulous concept that was the “science side of Tumblr,” Hank Green, has risen rapidly to popularity again on TikTok, answering user’s questions along much the same lines as Tumblr. Thus, the comparisons between TikTok and Tumblr can be summed up by two ideas: discourse and content stratification. If the discourse and the method of stratification remain the same across the two platforms, then maybe there’s some truth to TikTok becoming Tumblr. Perhaps the app is truly history repeating itself, the younger generation of users proving that we did not learn from ourselves at all, and are doomed to create another platform that will become something to reflect bittersweetly on while watching hour-long video essays on various controversial moments in the platform’s history.

Before jumping to any conclusions about social media and “the youth”, it’s worth diving deeper into what is making users draw this comparison, those two aforementioned ideas.

When thinking of discourse, one has to think no further than Twitter to see that this is not just an idea isolated to the TikTok/ Tumblr conversation. Similarly, Twitter also features content stratification, with users referring to “stan twitter,” “rose twitter,” or “film twitter” rather than “sides.” These ideas are not isolated to the two platforms, rather, they are ideas that

are shared across any social media platform if one were to look closely. If that’s the case, then Twitter is no different than TikTok in the discussion of following the Tumblr arc. Does this mean that all social media will eventually approach the point of Tumblr-ization, much like the evolutionary theory of carcinization, which states that evolution will inevitably lead to all living things becoming crabs?

According to social media manager Mary Beth McAndrews (@mbmcandrews on Twitter), the answer is no. When asked about the idea of TikTok becoming Tumblr, McAndrews actually said that the conversation was confusing, stating that the difference in format between the two apps makes it “hard to say one wants to be another without navigating how they let users upload and create content.”

This is disheartening to any one searching for the pattern that shows the inevitably of Tumblr, but raises a solid point about the connections being drawn. The apps are very different, especially given Tumblr’s almost entirely text-based format compared to TikTok’s minute-maximum videos. The ways that users interact with each other across both platforms varies greatly, such that it’s hard to draw comparison between something like a duet on TikTok, where two videos by different users play side-by-side, to a reblog on Tumblr, in which a post was either added to by a user or reposted entirely to one’s own blog. Users interact in different ways on different platforms, using the tools provided by the platforms as these tools allow apps to “remain relevant and to keep building a user base.”

What drew McAndrews’ attention, when asked about the comparison, was the subject of discourse. She acknowledged that “message boards prior to Tumblr started that behavior [discourse] too,” meaning that what we recognize as Tumblresque discourse has been around in the same form and fashion for as long as users were able to engage with each other on the internet. In fact, this highlights the root of the comparison, and where the comparison falls due to short-sightedness. As McAndrews put it, “I think it really does come down to what is available for certain demographics to share their thoughts, [and] no matter the platform discourse follows a similar trajectory.” Thinking back to the user statistics, in particular the age breakdown of users, it becomes more apparent why this comparison is being made. The majority of users fall into the 10 to 19 age range, with many of those users too young to recognize comparisons to Tumblr participating in discourse nonetheless (This is where the author exposes themself for not being a Tumblr user at its height, but instead a satellite user engaging with Tumblr content through other platforms).

However, the second greatest user base is 20 to 29, among the age group who had primary exposure to Tumblr at its height.

The line of comparison, then, makes a lot more sense, as older users notice patterns in the younger majority user base, and think of the platform they were heavily involved with at that age. Thus, the comparison is a short-sighted one, based on user groups comparing the experiences they are witnessing to the experiences others are happening in front of them.

Instead of drawing comparison between the two, contributors to the question are missing the point: that online discourse, no matter the time, no matter the platform, has never actually changed. McAndrews speaks from the perspective of a social media manager who has seen the rise and fall of many platforms over the course of her career, thus illuminating the

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immortal function of discourse. Its structure remains the same, whether the user in question is on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Tumblr, YouTube, Reddit, or even Facebook. In fact, this is already a widely acknowledged part of our internet culture, as any adequately online person will recognize the dark cloud that hangs over the term “comments section.” If that’s the case, if online discourse hasn’t changed or evolved since its conception and all users are noticing and mislabelling the pattern, then why hasn’t it evolved? Why are still contributing to and engaging with a pattern of communication that begets toxicity? McAndrews, fortunately, had an answer: “Because people want to be right...These platforms give everyone a voice to share their opinions which is a blessing and a curse.”

Thus, what we can conclude is that no, TikTok isn’t

becoming Tumblr, but it has come into its own as a social media platform. The pattern users are recognizing are almost accurate, though. While not specifically related to Tumblr, the pattern is one of a past we have yet to learn from. Discourse has existed as long as mass internet communication has, and will likely continue to exist, as social media platforms gain power and profit are on user interaction and engagement, discourse is the obvious answer to meeting those needs. Discourse is profitable, thus, it is encouraged by the very medium through which these comparisons are being drawn. The past we fear is being repeated is not self-contained, nor has it ever been, and the best that we can seek to do is not shame those new to the social media bubble for our mistakes, but educate to prevent the hostile engine’s continuation.

Mint Cadigan is a second-year Writing for Film, TV, and Emerging Media major who had a Destiel ship blog back in the day. You can reach them at ccadigan@ithaca.edu.

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The Devil on Your Doorstep The Satanic Panic from the ‘80s to Today // by Julia Dath, Staff Writer; art by Adan Dee, Art Editor

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n 1980, a Canadian book was published that details a child’s uncovered memories of being a prisoner of a Satanic Cult in the 1950s. The book, co-written by psychologist Lawrence Pazder and his patient Michelle Smith, is an account of repressed memories claimed to be unearthed by Pazder’s hypnosis techniques.

Michelle’s memories found under hypnosis detailed her being groomed in preparation to partake in a ritual to call the devil — right in Victoria, British Columbia.

Michelle Remembers was a catalyst for a panic that swept through North America. Commonly known as the “Satanic Panic,” this moral panic consisted of a string of abuse accusations detailing child abuse, Satanists and abductions.

The main focus of these accusations was child sexual abuse, and the population of accused largely consisted of teachers and daycare employees.

Pazder’s influence on the panic spread farther than just one book. He became seen as a supreme expert on the subject of Satanic Ritual Abuse, and was even made consultant on a few legal cases.

The most publicized case from the Satanic Panic era, the McMartin Preschool trial, began with one accusation swelling to hundreds. One parent accused a staff member, Ray Buckey, of molesting her son. Following this initial allegation, the police sent a letter to two hundred families asking for, “Any information from your child regarding having ever observed Ray Buckey to leave a classroom alone with a child during any nap period, or if they have ever observed Ray Buckey tie up a child”.

Interviews of children were conducted by social worker Kee MacFarlane from the nonprofit organization Children’s Institute International. Leading tactics were used in the interviews to coax answers out of children, including sock puppets, leading questions and the pressure on children that their classmates had already revealed: “yucky secrets.”

Ms. Macfarlane defended her tactics in an interview, stating the children “thought they might die or their parents might die. When we realized that’s what kept them silent, we began to feel we were not going to get to any of that information until they got over that fear. One way is to say we talked to a lot of their friends and they told of yucky secrets.

I felt that it gave a message there may be something yucky they could tell. We found it relieved them. It took the onus off being the first one.”

The allegations of abuse rose from one student to over 350 by the spring of 1984. Accusations spiraled with claims of adults in tunnels beneath the school, child pornography, ritual animal abuse, and Ray Buckey “flying.”

After a case that lasted seven years and one of the most expensive trials in history, the McMartin Preschool Trial ended in mistral. Lack of evidence and possibly coercive interviewing tactics had marred the case.

While heavily publicized, the McMartin Trial does not stand alone. It is indicative of an era where accusations of Satanic Ritual Abuse were happening often. A pattern began to emerge for each incident.

First, children making claims of Satanic Ritual Abuse would be interviewed with leading questions. As time passed, more intensity and pressure would apply to the interviews.

Children would then amp up their stories, citing more elaborate schemes of ritual abuse and witchcraft that did not exist in their initial allegations.

In 1992, the National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime (NCVAC) published “The Investegator’s Guide to Allegations of ‘Ritual’ Child Abuse.” In this text, the alternative reasons for allegations of Satanic Ritual abuse with no evidence are explored. Law enforcement officer Kenneth V. Lanning explains how law enforcement officials were trained to look out for signs of Satanic Ritual Abuse, and how there are scientific behavioral explanations for people to believe they have seen events that did not actually occur.

Satanic Ritual Abuse was a way to explain the unexplainable, and a way to provide evidence where none existed before. Lanning accounts a case in the Pacific Northwest where the officer claimed that there must have been Satanic Ritual Abuse. The officer explained, “If you knew about the murders or found the bodies, it would not be Satanists.” Lanning then offers “How do you argue with that kind of logic?”

It creates an inarguable paradox. Everything by the Satanists is covert and secret, therefore an accusation with no evidence can be pinned on this answer.

This tactic, however, runs into issues when cases are brought to court. Prosecutors need evidence. In the McMartin trial, the use of manipulative questioning of minors is what provided key evidence in the case. Questioning is a small piece of the puzzle, and Lanning explains that in Satanic Ritual Abuse cases law enforcement are trained to look out for ways to find hidden evidence. Lanning states “The information presented is a mixture of fact, theory, opinion, fantasy, and paranoia, and because some of it can be proven or corroborated (symbols on rock albums, graffiti on walls, desecration of cemeteries, vandalism, etc.), the implication is that it is all true and documented. Material produced by religious organizations, photocopies and slides of newspaper articles, and videotapes of tabloid television programs are used to supplement the training and are presented as “evidence” of the existence and nature of the problem.”

And so it stands to question what the public standards of evidence are in these Satanic Ritual Abuse cases. It is a collective belief that those who commit crimes should be punished, and those who do not, should not serve the consequences for actions they did not commit. Yet things get messy when the public has a collective visceral reaction of

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rage and panic over an accusation. Evidence is more than just collected, it is searched for and deeply desired. If these truly heinous acts are taking place in small-town America, they need to be stopped as quickly as possible. Therefore, evidence is gleaned from any possible source, including interviews with young children.

The panic stretched beyond the bounds of child witnesses.

Rock music, drugs and all forms of pop culture that defied Evangelical standards were looped in with the Satanists. If children were being abused by cults, teenagers were being lured into indoctrination through popular culture.

A notorious case is that of teenager Ricky Kasso, “The Acid King”. Kasso murdered Gary Lauwers in Long Island, New York in the summer of 1984. During the attack, Kasso pressured Gary repeatedly with the line “Say you love Satan!” and Gary responded with “I love my mother.” Kasso then told his peers that he had murdered Gary as a sacrifice to Satan.

He was arrested wearing an AC/DC shirt, which further inflated the idea that heavy metal music was Satanic and dangerous.

The Satanic Panic is often looked at as the past. Its frightening moral hold over society’s logic is associated with the ‘80s and ‘90s. But that ideology, as Lanning describes as how “Faith, not logic and reason, governs the religious beliefs of most people” is still prevalent.

Michelle Remembers was discredited, but not after becoming a bestselling hit. The McMartin trial produced no convictions, but not after being highly publicized all over the country.

The frenzy of the Satanic Panic still perpetuates today.

Conspiracy theories of ritualistic child abuse circulate in modern media, most notoriously through QAnon.

Mike Rothschild, author and researcher of conspiracies, explains the QAnon conspiracies: “Some of the earliest drops are about what the Clintons do to children, what the deep state does to children, satanic trafficking and sacrifices.”

Notably, conspiracy QAnon today promotes the hashtag “Save the Children” not unlike the popular slogan during the Satanic Panic, “Believe the Children”.

Both are inarguable phrases. How can we not believe children when they detail these awful scenes at their daycares and elementary schools? How can we not save them from these terrible fates? America’s persistent mission to protect the innocence of its youth means that this sort of logic pulls at the moral heartstrings of even the most uninformed outsider.

Mass media and reporting tactics perpetuate the panics.

An unknowing news viewer at home that is affronted with the phrase “Save the Children” by their phone or television can hardly disagree with the fact that something should be done. They are then bombarded with “evidence” that leans into their moral and religious predispositions. Fact becomes farther and farther from reach, replaced with accusations that must be “uncovered”.

Modern conspiracy theory “Pizzagate” builds off of the idea that the unseen is the biggest threat. Each time a major news outlet debunks its claims, it only stokes the fire that there is something bigger to uncover.

Many members of society still believe in a menace existing underneath the surface, corrupting America’s youngest and most vulnerable. When no evidence appears for their claims, they find ways to make it themselves.

However, the mass infiltration of middle-class America by Satanists and Democrat-led pedophiles has yet to galvanize substantial and tangible evidence. Many of the accounts follow the same patterns and notes, which leads to the question: are these repeat instances merely mimicking each other? Regardless, hunting for Satanic Ritual Abuse and pressuring young children to make outlandish confessions is harmful in its own right, as pushing for stories about witchcraft and cults underneath daycares can overshadow the stories of child sexual abuse that do need to be investigated and treated with care.

As Kenneth V. Lanning says, “The large number of people telling the same story is, in fact, the biggest reason to doubt these stories. It is simply too difficult for that many people to commit so many horrendous crimes as part of an organized conspiracy.”

Julia Dath is a second-year writing major who is glad they didn’t live through the ‘80s.

You can reach them at jdath@ithaca.edu.

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Why Won’t Social Media Admit It Has

a Pedophilia Problem?

Pedophilia Runs Rampant on Every Platform // by Megan Bostaph, Staff Writer

I

t seems as though every few months there’s another breaking story about a social media influencer or celebrity caught preying on minors. The most recent example is the case of Tony Lopez, a massively popular creator on TikTok. In January of 2021, the news broke that a lawsuit was filed by two teen girls, alleging that Lopez communicated with and asked them for nude photos over social media and text. And this isn’t the first time. Back in August 2020, Lopez hosted a livestream on Instagram, saying he would “hold himself accountable” for similar allegations made against him by several girls, who all noted that they were underage at the time.

But the issue of pedophilia on social media doesn’t pertain to just attractive young influencers. There are even more instances of older men preying on children. One example is Buddy Haynes, who went by “thebudday” on TikTok. Though originally reported on in 2018, his example still stands. On TikTok, there is the option to “duet” with someone else’s video. When you duet with another tiktok, you are essentially showing both videos simultaneously, either reacting to or adding onto the other. Considering that the largest part of TikTok’s user base in the U.S. is 10-19, it isn’t hard to find an account from a child or a young teen. Thebudday would duet with TikToks from young girls, and make sexually suggestive reactions. He finally deleted his account in November 2018, after enough people recognized the predatory nature of his videos and notified local law enforcement and the FBI, who launched an investigation.

This issue with pedophiles on social media isn’t limited to TikTok, but characterizes many of the most commonly used social media platforms. HuffPost published an article in March of last year that covered how easy it is for pedophiles to find and compile seemingly innocent videos of young children for their personal sick enjoyment. On YouTube, a user can add videos to a playlist without notifying the channel who originally uploaded it. Especially in channels featuring children published by their parents or other family members, the owner of the channel would have no idea that their child is a part of a playlist fetishizing minors.

Another thing to note with YouTube, and many social media sites in general, is the use of the algorithm. Generally, algorithms on platforms such as YouTube, TikTok or Instagram show you videos or posts that are similarly linked. For example, if YouTube notices you watch a lot of cute cat videos, they

will continue to suggest those to you. Instagram chooses what’s on your Explore page based on accounts you follow and interact with, as well as accounts the people you follow interact with. So, if you were to follow a lot of accounts based on art, you will be shown more art accounts on your Explore page. Makes sense, right? But think about how this can be used in the world of pedophiles. They see a video of a young child in a compromising position. They comment on it, add it to a playlist, and then as the YouTube algorithm sees the user interact with the video, it will then recommend similar ones.

Social media algorithms want to continue showing you things that they think you will like, and so the rabbit hole continues on and on. To clarify, the issue is not specifically rooted in the content, but in the algorithm’s constant suggestions for more.

A harmless video of a minor is recommended to the wrong person, and they’ve found their pedophilic niche.

But pedophiles don’t only watch content made by or containing minors, they can also easily reach out to them. It isn’t always as public as Haynes duetting tiktoks, or an account commenting on a YouTube video. Privacy settings on social media are a big issue when it comes to blocking pedophiles from directly reaching out to unsuspecting children, who don’t always understand who they are talking to. As YouTuber The Right Opinion, real name James Darcy, notes in his 2018 video about thebudday, “the default settings [on TikTok] appear to be completely public, and they don’t provide any real tutorial or disclaimer that could change it.” For a child making their TikTok account, they would have to go into the settings, and then further into the privacy section in order to notice that their account is set to public. This changes who can duet or react to your video, and who can send you messages. TikTok changed the rules of direct messaging in 2020; according to TikTok’s help page section on direct messages, “As part of our commitment to improving safety on TikTok, [o]nly those aged 16 and older will be able to send and receive Direct Messages.” However, this does not stop the ability for others to comment on or duet with children’s videos.

This addition to TikTok’s rules on direct messaging begs the question of what social media companies are doing about the issue. In an interview with Buzzfeed News, Haynes stated, “They [FBI] said, ‘Look we’ve got complaints’” and “‘Maybe it’s best if you take a month or two off.’” Here is where the problem lies with getting pedophiles off of social media; it

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isn’t done easily. In the case of Haynes, he deleted his TikTok account himself, and TikTok didn’t take any action in order to facilitate that. It was the complaints and rallying of other users on the platform.

This situation isn’t unique to TikTok either. The HuffPost did an experiment where they went in search of videos featuring minors that could be attractive to pedophiles. What they found was that despite YouTube’s claim to HuffPost that it has, “disabled comments and limited recommendations on hundreds of millions of videos containing minors in risky situations,” it was easy to find videos of partially clothed children. Many also enable comments where pedophiles could comment the timestamp of a particularly graphic part of the video. This indicates that their machine learning and artificial intelligence systems are somehow unable to catch a large amount of exactly what they should be working against.

In fact, HuffPost notes in their article that the playlists they found containing compromising videos of children were only taken down after they had taken note of them in an email sent to YouTube.

It seems that social media companies rely on their users to actively report inappropriate content, rather than using the systems they have in place. Social media platforms are huge, and they have huge user bases, and while that can assist in

reporting malicious content, it shouldn’t be the main way of stopping it. A huge user base means that these companies have power; they have money and resources to improve their machine learning and artificial intelligence systems for purposes such as this. Not only that, but there is no reason as to why the algorithm itself can’t be changed so that it isn’t abused by pedophiles. These social media companies need to actively work with those who are petitioning and suggesting laws to stop this issue. In 2019, Senator Josh Hawley suggested a bill that would ban recommending videos that feature children, which “would apply only to videos that primarily feature minors, not videos that simply have minors in the background.” While it may seem aggressive to completely ban videos featuring minors, YouTube could work with Hawley to tweak the bill to their comfort. As of now, it doesn’t seem that this has been successful. Currently, there is a petition on change.org with nearly 130,000 signatures calling for the end of exploitation of children on social media, but no real change in policy has been reported.

Megan Bostaph is a third-year English major who just wants platforms to hold their algorithm accountable. You can reach them at mbostaph@ ithaca.edu.

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18

“I May Destroy You” Got Snubbed... ... But Did Lily Collins Deserve the Instagram Hate? //

by Leem Osman. Contributing Writer

T

he recent nomination of “Emily in Paris” over “I May Destroy You” for a Golden Globe has people once again questioning the Golden Globes and its choices. The Netflix series “Emily in Paris” starring Lily Collins is about a woman who moves to Paris to start a new job at a marketing firm.

The film has received mixed reviews with a 63% on Rotten Tomatoes, with its cliché depiction of France and its basic storyline with nothing to say. Despite all of this, it still earned itself a Golden Globe Nomination over Micheala Coel’s “I May Destroy You”.

“I May Destroy You” aired on HBO on June 7 of 2020.

It was written by Micheala Coel who also starred in it as the main lead Arabella. The show is about the aftermath of a sexual assault, Coel uses her real-life experience to bring the story of Arebella to life. The show is fueled with emotion and great acting from the diverse cast. Coel did an exceptional job with the writing, directing and starring in the show. The show received a 98% on Rotten Tomatoes and an 8.1 out of 10 on IMDb, once again proving that it is deserving of praise and even a nomination.

Though I may come off a bit biased, as I am a fan of Micheala Coel both as a writer and as a person, you can’t deny the nomination of “Emily in Paris” over “I May Destroy You” is an odd choice. Even Deborah Copaken, a writer on “Emily in Paris”, is confused by the decision made by the Golden Globes. Copaken told The Guardian, “...am I excited that “Emily in Paris” was nominated? Yes. Of course. I have never been remotely close to seeing a Golden Globe statue up close, let alone being nominated for one. But that excitement is now unfortunately tempered by my rage over Coel’s snub.

That “I May Destroy You” did not get one Golden Globe

nod is not only wrong, it’s what is wrong with everything.”

Copaken also said that she found “I May Destroy You” to be one of her favorite shows of 2020, loving the interesting take it had on sexual assault, and how it managed to combine that with heart, humor and pathos. Being a sexual assault survivor herself, she was able to empathize with Arabella, and we can assume other viewers were able to as well.

“Emily in Paris” is the brain-child of Darren Starr, who wrote and produced other projects such as Sex and the City and “Beverly Hills, 90210,” but most of the writing is done by Deborah Copaken. Copaken brings her personal experience to the project. In the same Guardian article, she said “Like Emily, I’m both a former American expat who was based in Paris.” speaking on the critiques the show faces, Chopeken both expressed feeling hurt over it but also understanding the reason. She writes said, “I could definitely see how a show about a white American selling luxury whiteness, in a pre-pandemic Paris scrubbed free of its vibrant African and Muslim communities, might rankle.” This does not help erase the valid criticism the show has received.

“Emily in Paris” being nominated for a Golden Globes is not the fault of Starr or Copaken, as the Golden Globes itself has a history of not acknowledging BIPOC films. Its other snubs for this year include Steven Yuen for Drama Actor in “Minari,” Spike Lee for his film, “Da 5 Bloods,” and Zendaya for “Malcolm and Marie.” They have been receiving backlash from celebrities like Ava Duvernay and Kerry Washington, which helps bring these issues to the public consciousness.

Hosted by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, the 2021 Golden Globes aired virtually on Sunday, February 28. “Emily in Paris” did not win either of the awards for which it was nominated.

Leem Osman is a first-year Writing for Film, TV and Emerging Media major who loves croissants but isn’t sold on “Emily in Paris”.

They can be reached at hosman@ithaca.edu.

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RAW

from the

SAW

“Framing Britney Spears” by Megan Bostaph, Staff Writer The most recent episode of the New York Times’ documentary series on Hulu, “The New York Times Presents”, was on Britney Spears, her conservatorship and the #freebritney movement that has been gaining traction on social media.

But before we dive into the documentary, let’s set the stage by looking at what a conservatorship is, and what the #freebritney movement even means. A conservator, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is “A person, official, or institution designated to take over and protect the interests of an incompetent.” Keyword here: incompetent. Britney Spears is currently in a conservatorship, with her father acting as her conservator. The #freebritney movement is advocating for the end of Britney’s conservatorship, which she has been in for 12 years at the time of the filming of this documentary.

“Framing Britney Spears” looks into what happened to cause this conservatorship, and what has happened since.

The documentary begins by showing us members of the #freebritney movement, protesting outside the courthouse in L.A.. We see her fans passionately marching and holding signs, making speeches and hosting live streams to update others on the court proceedings. We are then moved back in time, to when Britney first began her career. The New York Times interviews Felicia Culotta, one of Britney’s friends from Mississippi, who once served as her assistant. She tells us about Britney’s rise to fame, from a talented young girl to a multi-platinum recording artist. Throughout this, other interviews are added from former stylists, tour managers, reporters, anyone who knew her personally and could give a comment on how she became so big.

The documentary then shifts from Britney’s rise to focus on how she met her downfall. Here, The New York Times adds interviews from paparazzi, magazine editors and other people directly involved in the tabloid circuit at the time. This is where the documentary moves to look at Britney as a woman who was villainized by the tabloids, a woman who became a punchline for TV shows. The headlines accused her of being a bad mother, or of cheating on Justin Timberlake. The media at the time was incredibly invasive, scrutinizing her every time she went in public, especially when with her children. Britney had to appear on televised interviews to attempt to clear up the rumors, but it rarely helped how she was seen. The documentary includes videos of her being harassed by the media, and many almost made me want to cry because of how brutal these people were to her. This all culminates together and peaks at the infamous moment that Britney shaved her head, and days later attacked a paparazzi’s car with an umbrella. After these two incidents, the decision was made that brings the documentary here today: the conservatorship.

The New York Times tells us that in 2008, Britney’s father Jamie Spears filed for a temporary conservatorship. Months later, the conservatorship was made permanent. In this section, lawyer Vivian Lee Thoreen, is interviewed to give the legal explanation of the situation and how a conservatorship works. Jamie felt that at this time, Britney was not mentally competent enough to manage her affairs, and based the conservatorship on a concern of undue influence from those around her. Then we fast forward to the present and the concerns of those behind the #freebritney movement. They say that this conservatorship was made 12 years ago when Britney was mentally unstable, harassed by the media and in a downward spiral. But when we look at her now, she’s performing; she has a residency in Vegas and is able to take care of her kids. The #freebritney movement supporters question: how we can call her incompetent anymore? The rest of the documentary takes a look at the legal side, and how the battle over the conservatorship has been faring in court.

It ends on the note that Britney’s father is no longer the sole conservator of her person, but is now co-conservator of her finances with the bank Bessemer Trust.

This documentary was made to compile the data and the rumors together to give the clearest picture they can of Britney Spears’s conservatorship. Given how the episode was talked about all over social media once it came out, I would say that it reached the audience that it hoped for. The New York Times wanted to let the viewers know that this was happening, and it had a movement gaining momentum. It also used this opportunity to expose the difficulties and darker side of conservatorships, and the way they lock the dependent in.

Lee Thoreen says that “Of the cases that I’ve been involved in, I have not seen a conservatee who has successfully terminated a conservatorship.”

Personally, I found this documentary highly informative, as conservatorship has never been something I had even heard of before the issue of Britney Spears’s. I had also been too young during the time of the 2000s to understand what was happening with Britney, and I had grown up without knowing the horrendous treatment she had faced. I knew her meltdown moments as punchlines in the media, so this documentary gave another perspective to what actually drove her to the edge. In this way, I think The New York Times’ documentary about Britney Spears was effective. The viewer feels compelled to side with Britney after seeing the way she was treated by the media in the 2000s, and the documentary paints her today as a strong, capable woman who no longer needs to be locked inside of a conservatorship.

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“Euphoria” Special Part 2 Jules by Chloe Gibson, Staff Writer It’s been well over a year since Jules (Hunter Schafer) left Rue (Zendaya) behind at the train station in the climactic season finale of “Euphoria”, which premiered all the way back in August of 2019. So when production on the show’s second season was delayed by COVID-19 safety concerns, fans of the HBO smash hit were most certainly disappointed. In its place came two special “bridge” episodes to sustain fans until the highly anticipated release of season two later this year.

The first stand-alone episode, “Trouble Don’t Last Always,” premiered last December, centering around a Christmas Eve conversation between Rue and her sponsor.

Picking up six months after her relapse, the episode explores addiction, race, and mental health from the familiar POV of the series’ protagonist.

Part two focuses on Jules, who is back at home after her runaway attempt at the end of season one. Similar to Rue’s conversation-driven episode, we catch up with Jules in the context of a therapy session. Released to HBO Max in January, the episode opens with a series of familiar images flashing in the reflection of Jules’ sparkling blue eye. The turbulent romance between Jules and Rue is kaleidoscopically recapped as Lorde’s melancholic ballad “Liability” plays in the background. While remaining true to the show’s poetically expressive style, we see “Euphoria” through Jules’ eyes for the first time. It’s a powerful opening sequence that makes season one feel more like a prologue to the 55-minute therapy session featured in the episode.

In season one, Rue is the middleman between the audience and every other character. Tinges of Jules’ character

are revealed throughout the season, but most of the details come from Rue’s limited perspective on her best friend.

Jules’ background can only be developed through the stories and emotions she expresses to Rue, inevitably leaving out unspoken, intimate details about her past. But in Rue’s absence, a dynamic understanding of Jules is unearthed.

The most powerful dialogue featured in the episode comes about in moments where Jules reflects on her identity.

Finding herself exhausted by gender performativity, Jules tells her therapist she’s considering going off her hormones.

While she does not seek to completely de-transition, Jules wants to explore the features of her gender expression that are personally empowering rather than continuing to root her femininity in what men find desirable. Jules no longer wants to box herself into a singular expression of herself; instead, she hopes to become “as beautiful as the ocean… I don’t want to stand still, I want to be alive.”

Schafer demonstrates her amazing capacities as an actress throughout the episode, blurring the line between actor and character in scene after scene. The emotional depth she achieves can most certainly be attributed to the skillful collaboration of creators Levison and Schafer, who coauthored the project during the months of the pandemic.

Like in real life, the show takes a step back to disentangle the past before jumping into the next season of life. “Euphoria’s” creators ultimately made the best of every COVID-19 setback, adding an emotional depth that will inform our perceptions of Rue and Jules come season two.

“OK Human” - Weezer by Sydney Joyce, Staff Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor It is clear from the first notes of Weezer’s fourteenth album, “OK Human” (a nod to Radiohead’s 1997 classic “OK Computer”), that it is not typical Weezer fare. This obvious difference is due to the fact that the record includes a 38-piece orchestra and was recorded entirely with analogue equipment.

The album was produced by Jake Sinclair (most known for his work with Panic! at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, New Politics and 5 Seconds of Summer), who also produced their 2016 selftitled album, and the orchestra arrangements were done by Rob Mathes (also most known for his work with Panic! at the Disco), hinting at Weezer’s aim toward creating an agreeable synthesis of orchestral pop rock.

Much of what we have come to expect from Weezer still remains in hummable melodies and ironic lyrics. This time, the lyrics feature pop culture references, like “slime or BLACKPINK” in “Screens.” The lyrics also describe quarantine living, with the perfectly catchy “Grapes of Wrath” detailing Rivers Cuomo rocking to his “Audible headphones Grapes of Wrath” along with other books and “Playing my Piano” dramatically detailing Cuomo not washing his hair and avoiding Zoom interviews.

While the orchestra arrangements are attention-grabbing in their own right, they often fall short of enhancing or complementing

the songs, as the band often relies on them to provide the emotional depth that their lyrics do not. On “Dead Roses,” a track where the orchestra particularly shines, the song is brought down by overwrought lyrics that describe “dead roses at the bottom of an oubliette” and “a winged beast with horns upon his cranium.”

The pre-released single from the album, “All My Favorite Songs,” contains a memorable refrain, as long as you can overlook the fact that Cuomo rhymes “sad” with “mad” and then “bad” in the first three lines. “Bird with a Broken Wing” features an almost hypnotic chorus that is shattered by the delivery of the lyric, “the stupid cat, always sneakin’ up on me” in the opening of the second verse. The lyrics may lack subtlety, but they are nonetheless personal accounts of life in 2020 that are constructed into consumable melodies. “OK Human” is certainly an easy listen, with lyrics that capture our cultural moment and melodies you can sway to if you don’t listen too hard, but the added layer of the orchestra—though a new and interesting addition for Weezer— does not do enough to create a deep or innovative listening experience. It’s the same Weezer that we have come to know over the past 27 years, but caught within the anxiety of a global pandemic and with an orchestra instead of electric guitars.

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“Ignorance” - The Weather Station by Imani Turner-Wells, Staff Writer; art by Julia Young, Staff Artist This band is called The Weather Station and they are a Canadian folk band that was formed in 2006. My first impressions of the band and what stood out the most was the lead singer. The lead singer’s name is Tamara Lindeman and her voice is amazing. She has a soothing voice which is shown throughout their album “Ignorance”. The gentleness of voice creates this relaxing atmosphere for the listener. What makes the album soft and calming is the instrumentation. Some instruments that are included are flute, strings, guitar and saxophone. The sound of the soft instruments puts the brain in a relaxing state of mind. I would recommend this album to anyone that is stressed out or having trouble going to sleep.

It’s also good music to study or do homework to. I listen to this album while doing my school work and it helps me focus more. The band has the same vibes as 4 Non Blondes’ vibes.

With the soft playing of the guitar, the calming vocals and the combination of different instruments, I immediately thought of the 90s alternative rock band, 4 Non Blondes.

I didn’t like the album at first. It took me a minute to get into it because it’s relaxing and calming. As I started to listen to it more and more, I started to warm up to it. This band is intriguing to listen to because it’s different from the music that I listen to normally.

When I listen to music, I have to pump up. The genre of music that I listen to is mostly EDM (electronic dance music), rap and hip hop. The music always has me moving and bobbing my head. I have to hear that bass throbbing in my ears for me to listen to it. I usually listen to music when I need to get a lot of work done or if I am working out. This album made me sit back and relax for a bit. This was not the music I was used to listening to but it was a good change of pace.

My favorite songs from this album were “Loss” and “Wear.” I relate to these songs the most because “Loss” talks about the pain of grieving about anything and “Wear” is understanding the world and people. Some lyrics from “Loss,” “It was only so wide you could open your eyes, You could only let in so much light, But you knew the story had never been true.” This seems to be implying that the artist is going through some grieving period or shocking news that wasn’t hard before.

Overall, I would recommend this album to anyone who is looking for some new music to relax or studying music. This album creates an atmosphere that allows the brain and body to relax.

“Euphories” - Videoclub by Emily Imanishi, Contributing Writer With the aesthetic of “Stranger Things” meets “The End of the F***ing World,” Videoclub is a band whose music sounds like it could be straight out of a coming-of-age movie.

The French indie duo, made up of Adèle Castillon (a famous French actress and YouTuber) and Matthieu Reynaud, have become highly popular within France and much of Europe, however, they’ve only just begun to make their way to the States. Their first single, “Amour Plastique’’ was released in 2018 but became famous on TikTok last year. The song, which has a very dreamy, falling-in-love vibe to it, was one of only seven songs the duo had released prior to the release of their first album “Euphories.” The album released at the end of January and features all of their prior songs, as well as six new ones. While all their songs are sung in French (with the exception of their cover of XXXTentacion’s song “What Are You So Afraid Of”) the tone of the songs transcends language.

I myself don’t know any French, but ever since I heard “Amour Plastique’’ in 2019, I have been following the duo, as I didn’t need to know the words to fall in love with the song.

Both in their sound and in their music videos, Videoclub nails down the atmosphere they want their music to create; a dreamy teenage romance that feels like it’s something out of an 80’s movie. And they do this in a way that feels fresh and authentic. “Euphories” has many tracks, both new and

previously released, that stand out as favorites to me. “Amour Plastique’’ has been a favorite of mine for a while, but as has their 2019 single “En nuit.” Both songs have a very upbeat, happy tone to them that creates the image of sunny days spent with someone you love. Most songs by Videoclub are more upbeat in tone, encompassing the more Euro-pop style.

That’s not to say they don’t have songs that are calmer in nature. One of my favorite new tracks of theirs is the song “Trois jours.” The song feels much more somber than their typical happy tracks. However, as the song progresses, it gradually gets more upbeat, almost like a dark cloud moving to reveal the sun. Probably my favorite new song on the album is the closing track “SMS.” It features bits of what sounds like random moments from their lives—laughter and conversations, in the background of the song. While that gives the track a very cheery and carefree vibe, what really made me love the song were the bits of instrumental synth playing the other tracks on the album. It felt like a really fun way to close the album, as you hear them just being themselves while you also get all these references to the other songs you just heard.

While French indie isn’t necessarily a common genre here in the U.S., Videoclub is a group that should definitely be on your radar. Their songs bring life into gray days, and I promise you’ll be dancing along just a few seconds in.

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“Epochs” - Derek Pope by James Baratta, Staff Writer; album cover by JOPH Oakland native and musician Derek Pope (also referred to as “the Pope”) has crafted an out-of-this-world sound that knows no bounds, and his latest project certainly delivers.

Derek Pope is an entirely independent artist, ditching his former job as a record label assistant so he could make a bet on himself. Like many visionaries who’ve found themselves in a league of their own, the Pope doesn’t fit into a single genre.

His self-produced sound is arguably a mix between trip-hop and alternative hip-hop. One can also draw parallels between Derek Pope and alt-hip-hop artists like Eryn Martin, Darci and Amir Obe.

“Epochs” is a culmination of the Pope’s many years of producing tuneful beats and scrawling excogitative lyrics that hit home. The album’s vibrant tracklist covers a broad range of sound, featuring the booming melodies “Future Kids of America” and “War Machine” as well as celestial bangers like “Picture Perfect” and “Satellite,” which are thoughtfully placed in consecutive order. “Epochs” also features the 2019 singles “Some Other Way,” “Us and Them” and “No Disguises.” These iconic songs have laid the groundwork for where his music is now, as well as where it seems to be going.

This brings us to the opening track on “Epochs—“Up Up and Away.” The Pope lets it breathe, masterfully denying his audience an instantaneous hook; that is, until he bursts from the shadows and absolutely decimates. Not only does he secure the replay value of “Up Up and Away,” but his delivery is impeccable. “Up Up and Away” is catchy and retains the ethereal, bass-heavy instrumentals that Derek Pope is known for.

“Epochs” stays true to the Pope’s long-held commitment to introspection. The 10-track collection clearly fulfills his summons to empower his audience—letting them know it’s possible to overcome their innermost doubts and fears. The Pope himself is no stranger to the ills of neurodiversity and has embraced his own struggles with anxiety, depression and substance abuse on previous projects. With “Epochs,” we see

this archetypal theme re-emerge on “Autopilot.” This gem of a track is tucked right in the middle of the album. It begins with some soft but sonic piano, which immediately establishes an angelic backdrop for the hook that follows. We’re then blessed with bars that echo with every hit, and it’s only a matter of seconds before the bass pounds our eardrums. After that point, the track takes off.

The song is “really a reflection of time,” Pope recalled, “you’re always moving forward and can’t stop it.”

It’s about the Pope’s experience hearing from members of his tight-knit fanbase who thank him for contriving such a powerful sound—a point of reflection in the second half of the track.

“That’s literally the most important thing to me,” he said.

“So when I’m depressed, I think, ‘how can I help people if I can’t even save myself?’ That’s what the song is about.”

The final “Epochs” track is an ascension, and it’s the longest song Derek Pope has dropped to date. “Is This the End?” is a cinematic ballad about the artist’s view on God. The Pope doesn’t follow any religion in particular. Instead, he believes in a higher power and sees spirituality as an individual choice. “Is This the End?” is an attempt to personify God. “I paint God as being better than us in my head, and by the end I realize that I’m wrong and he’s no different than any other human, and doesn’t know how to be loved either.”

To this writer, “Is This the End?” is the juncture of where Derek Pope’s career is headed. He set out to make an album that would create a world for people to escape to during this unprecedented time in human history—and he succeeded.

“Escapism gets a bad rap, like you’re avoiding your problems. But some escapism is healthy,” he said. “We’re in a fucked up time right now, we need things to pull us outside of our minds.”

One thing is certainly clear though, even in this fucked up time: Derek Pope is skybound.

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pros and cons Dionysus to Apollo

by Dariene Seifert

For Nicole Drunk on wine with laurel wreaths tangled in our hair, we felt like queens running through the weeds Our hands clasped together, and our laughter intertwined like grapevines When I collapsed into the bush, refused to leave, and was numb to the thorns You stayed by my side and played your lyre, all adorned And when I buried my face into the ground and cried for my mother, your sun guided me out of that fog of somber Being twice-born, I never felt like myself, whether in Olympus or the Mortal Realm But then you visit me at the beach, sinking our feet into the cool sea, Reminding me that gods don’t need a throne to call home

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25

A Nebulous Hue of a Solitary Cigarette

by Guadi Fanelli

A nebulous hue of a solitary cigarette drifted low with her senile drink A bottle left in the shade, aware with ale, sat beside the piano Her peculiar eyes, sparkling like ghosts scarcely human under the blue moonlight, watching over nothing Breathlessly, a faintly voice murmured, “Shh!” The Past?

Why the shadow of before, kissed through uncommunicable sound?

A reluctant glance pulled her face down.

An elderly distance separated her young mind, crowded, sometimes a haunted loneliness followed Anyone would drive the dark road away from her pale face, a fragment lost forever, erased somewhere back in the dark night The dim background of eternal blindness, under paintless days and powdery air More swiftly would the change dissolve and form like a moving picture, lavender colored, glowing a resemblance to disappointment

Snow

by Greta Unetich

Last December looked like this too.

Snow fell underneath the streetlights, Negative noise.

The snow on the ground made the night look brighter than it actually was from my ground-floor window, through a crack in the curtains.

Blankets sealed in our shoulders and made winter soft and heavy, but skin weightless.

The blue bed sheets felt like air. Half asleep and half walking into a dream.

In the next hour something irreverently persistent fluttered a sort of compulsion a rosy colored sunset flickered awed, she had seen her somewhere before For a moment, a crescendo, making sound of laughter melodious months in the summer, forgotten There was music, voices, pitches, rhythm a combination of having met Gilda Gray and a sharp cocktail the canvas of colored opal and yellow dances, so long forgotten The great past was married, entangled in some wild secrecy by the inexhaustible variety of life Unreal, blazing with light, glints blinked into darkness.

There the whispering went, she found her again.

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27

Breaking Out of Breakout Rooms

Quarantine in Emerson

by Ryan Bieber I spent most of last semester staring at a computer screen, longing for the days of in-person classes.

“Zoom just isn’t the same,” I told myself. “Where’s the connection, the human interaction?” I knew what I was searching for couldn’t be found in yet another awkward breakout room.

December came and went and the spring semester arrived with promises of new beginnings. All I had to do was get through two weeks of online classes and then I would be home free. But as I settled into that same old chair, in my same old room, in front of the same old screen, something, somehow, felt different. There was a sense of familiarity, the comforting hug of routine. I felt like a freshman who had grown into a sophomore. I knew these virtual hallways, I had the lay of the land, nothing could phase me now.

As the days passed, I began to find online classes, dare I say… pleasant? I was suddenly killing it in breakout rooms, starting up conversations, making new friends and throwing myself whole-heartledly into my studies.

“New year, new man,” I thought. “I’m going to make the best of it.”

As in-person classes began to approach, I was having second-thoughts. If I was being honest, I liked being able to wake up five minutes before class, roll out of bed, and attend class in pajama bottoms and slippers. I didn’t miss the mad dash between classes when a professor’s lecture would go five minutes too long. Zoom was easy, efficient, the safe way out.

Nevertheless, on February 8, I mustered my courage. I suited up, grabbed my dusty backpack from the depths of my closet and donned just the right mask to complement my outfit. Look out world; here I come.

I entered Park, hit by a wave of nostalgia that quickly dissipated into a meager mist. The halls were dark and silent. There was no annoyingly long line outside of the coffee stand. No throngs of people crowded outside the Park auditorium, blocking my way. Somewhat disappointed, I continued on.

Entering class, I looked around at the five students scattered throughout the room, glued to their screens, headphones in. No professor in sight. I was somewhat prepared for this reality. Our professor had told us our class would be split into two rooms to better accommodate social-distancing, and of course, she couldn’t be in two places at once. But I hadn’t fully grasped what this meant yet.

by Gabrielle Topping I had been on the college’s campus for 19 days and received six negative coronavirus tests thus far. It was a Tuesday night, and I was leaving the gym when I received a FaceTime call from some of my friends. I was hiking up a hill in a blizzard when one of them said she tested positive for COVID-19.

I’d been in a cautionary quarantine before, but this was different. Quarantining on a college campus is an entirely different beast than quarantining at home.

Per the instructions on the white-board, I logged onto Zoom, where I was greeted with a sense of déjà vu. All of my classmates were online, tucked in their neat little boxes, staring back at me from their respective screens as my professor droned on about the day’s to-do list.

The food was somehow worse than the dining hall food. That is, when I actually got food. The first night, I was out of luck; I’d been notified before I was able to go to the dining hall, and I wasn’t transported to quarantine housing until after dinner. The second night, I got a knock on my door with a bag of snacks and one hot meal, except the dinner was missing. I had to call down to the front desk, but they couldn’t answer, so I had to call back multiple times, which made me feel like an inconvenience.

Then, it hit me. Because we were in two classrooms and some students were remaining remote for the whole semester, class would still have to take place largely on Zoom. Once again, I found myself tasked with muting and unmuting, raising virtual hands and completing online assignments. Here I was, finally sitting in a classroom, but still confined to the virtual domain.

I received my seventh negative COVID test result.

I was shook, to say the least. I thought I had seen the worst of what Zoom had to offer but this… this was somehow WORSE than remote learning!

At least last semester, I could relax in the comfort of my own home, turn off my camera and silently scream into my pillow when things got to be too much.

But this? Walking all the way to class, being tested twice a week, risking getting Covid, just to do the same damn thing in a different room? This was NOT what I had signed up for.

I lamented silently until class finished and we logged off Zoom. One by one, my classmates stood up and left in silence. Most immediately checked their phones, presumably scrolling through Twitter, sending texts to friends. I remained seated, processing it all. I thought I had escaped remote learning. I thought I was done with Zoom. I thought this was the end of the virtual world. Now, as I looked around, I realized, it was only beginning.

The pandemic had already resulted in a semester and a half of attending college remotely, plus the first two weeks of this semester had been spent online. I would have been spending the first week of in-person classes, in person, but alas, I was confined to my quarantine room.

It’s exhausting staying in the same room indefinitely with mountains of homework to do. I felt as if all my motivation had evaporated. I went into this quarantine feeling as optimistic as possible. I was hoping productivity would be at an all-time high, but there’s a reason solitary confinement is such a serious consequence.

It’s awful, feeling as if you’re being punished when you’re being responsible.

I received my eighth negative COVID test result.

I’m hopeful it will get better. It’s really tough having the same, singular room for classes, homework, work, extracurricular activities, sleeping, eating, exercising, “socializing.” There is no sense of relaxation in here whatsoever and there’s no escaping. My friends on the third floor can hear someone screaming daily. Quarantine really challenges your mental and emotional strength.

I’ve received my ninth negative COVID test result.

I talked to my friends on FaceTime and Zoom for eight hours straight on Saturday. Quarantine isn’t fun at all, but I do feel like we’re bonding on a different level as we go through this challenging time, very much separated but “together.”

Emerson means brave and powerful. It was essential to channel this brave and powerful energy during eleven long nights in quarantine.

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sawdust

30

Ithaca College Reveals that the Heart-Shaped Key to the Journal that Holds All Financial Information Has Been Thrown Away

by Peter Tkaczyk, Staff Writer

I

n such tumultuous times as these, Ithaca College is only one of many institutions that finds itself in a dire financial situation and need to take some hard looks at its plans for the future and how they may need to change. However, in this case, a unique roadblock has sprung up: The heart-shaped key to the little pink notebook in which the college kept all of its financial information has been lost.

At press time, the college has released a statement saying that the choice of information storage medium felt like a much better idea when they first purchased the notebook at that quaint little yard sale that reminded them that there were more important things in the world than all this modern hullabaloo.

It is currently unknown when the loss occurred, although several occurrences of the movements of younger siblings in unauthorized areas have been pointed at as potential culprits.

The possibility that the key was stolen in an act of sabotage by a rival school cannot currently be discounted.

When pressed, the college’s spokesman admitted that the key’s whereabouts have been unknown for a minimum of two years and that in the interim they’ve mostly been making things up as they went along. They were certain they were going to be found out when they auctioned off all the old student records to the highest bidder or forced all the speech classes to share the same speech, but were pleasantly surprised to find that nothing struck the student body as being particularly out of the ordinary.

Currently, the college is responding by waiting to see if their one locksmith friend will respond to their email and offering a full scholarship to anyone who can see the key safely returned. In the meantime, in the absence of any financial information that may inform the college of what cuts may need to be made among the staff, all current teachers and faculty are invited this spring to play a rousing game of he-fires-me, he-fires-me-not using flowers helpfully donated by the local gardening club.

Peter Tkaczyk is a fourth-year writing major who has been using the same password for every account since middle school so they don’t forget.

You can reach them at ptkaczyk@ithaca.edu.

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Put Together the Perfect Outfit

to Storm the Capitol Stand Out to Your Fellow Patriots and Hopefully not the FBI // by Stephanie Tokasz, Staff Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

B

elow is the Snapchat Story transcript of 22-year-old Karen Schneider’s video postings. The videos were posted to her private story, “ur fav conservative chick!! (with emojis: American flag, white skin tone piece sign, face with heart eyes, red heart, white heart, blue heart).” The transcript below of the dialogue spoken in the videos will be used as evidence against Schneider in a court of law for her actions in the insurrection of the Capitol.

January 6th, 2021, 10:03 am

Schneider: Hey guys, it’s Karen here! Today is a good day because it’s finally time to declare our revolution. Basically, as I’m sure you guys know, there has been an endless amount of voter fraud in the previous election because, you know, it’s true.

Sleepy Joe Biden and his snowflake supporters apparently believe that they won the election. Even that traitor Pence is siding with them. But, we all know Trump is still our President for at least the next four years. Today, I’m going to be joining my fellow Patriots as we march to the Capitol building and demand change for what’s right. Follow along on my journey today as I finally help find justice for the one and only man who can make America great again, Donald Trump.

10:27 am

Schneider: Before I get dressed, I thought I would give you guys a quick tour of my room. I live in a small townhouse close to my campus. Speaking of college, I’m actually a senior, so I finally get to graduate this year. The past four years have been rough for me. It’s so hard to be a conservative when you’re surrounded by people with such different views. I’ve faced so many struggles because people automatically assume I’m racist or have white privilege just because I’m white. Anywho, let me actually show you my room. My comforter has red, white and blue stripes, and then over here is a MyPillow. It really is the most comfortable pillow, and the owner, that Mike Lindell guy, really knows his politics. Right here on my dresser is my favorite lotion. It usually smells like roses, but today, I can’t really smell it. I’m not exactly sure why. Over here on my wall, I have two Trump 2020 flags.

Speaking of which, let me take down one of those flags so I don’t forget it later.

11:03 am

Schneider: Alright, it’s finally time to get dressed. First, I have these camo pants which remind me of hunting season. Next, I have this black tank top with an American flag, which is a bit snug on me, but oh well. Over here on my dresser, I also have this mask thing with an American flag on it. I know some people have been wearing masks lately, but I personally think it looks a lot better as a headband to complement my freshly dyed blonde hair. Plus, who needs masks? It’s a scamdemic anyway. Lastly, I’m going to wrap my Trump flag over my shoulders. I also have a light make-up routine that I started doing. I just put on about half a bottle of foundation, sometimes a bit more. I bought a darker shade the other day because of the orange spray tan I got last week. Then, I usually apply a good amount of powder to both cheeks. I also really like to add eyeliner to my eyebrows to make them look thicker. The last thing I have is this bright pink lipstick, which I actually just got on my tooth.

12:25 pm

Schneider: I’m in my truck right now. On the back window, I have a couple of stickers. Of course, I have like four Trump stickers.

Then, I have one that says, “Make Liberals Cry Again.” They all eat babies anyway. I also have a Texas flag sticker because that’s where I’m originally from. I really miss the warm weather down there. That’s the place where everyone knows climate change is a scam.

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12:45 pm

Schneider (loud); Guys, I’m finally here! Karen Schneider reporting to you live from the Capitol! It’s so great to finally meet some real Patriots who actually love America. I just met a few guys over there. One of them was wearing this awesome Viking helmet and he had his face painted. Awesome dude. He said something about wanting to steal a podium and I told him to go for it.

I also heard some guy screaming, “Pelosi’s office! Where is it?” I hope he finds it. There was another guy who said the most darling thing to me. He told me that if I make him a sandwich, he’ll make me a bait box. I love me a tough man!

1:43 pm

Schneider (crying): I just got pepper sprayed! My eyes are burning! This cop came up to me, and I thought he wanted to take a picture, but then he started yelling. I told him that I was on his side but then he started screaming even louder. So I went to claw him with my nails and I got pepper sprayed! Oh my God, I literally cannot see!

2:36 pm

Schneider: “I finally made it back home after my eyes stopped burning. Overall, I’d consider today a success. I mean there were a couple of mishaps, but the main point is that I stood up for the best President this dang country’s ever seen. He even said that we’re special and he loves us.

January 10th, 2021, 11:46 am

Schneider (panicking): I’m currently hiding under my bed! I just heard a knock on the door and then someone yelled, ‘It’s the FBI! Open up!’ I don’t know what’s going on! Is this some sort of joke? I’m not going down. I’m going to keep fighting! Trump 2024!

Legend has it, Karen Schneider then snuck out the back door of her house and placed her Trump flag on the grass. She then flew away on the flag like it was a magic carpet while yelling, “An acquittal to all, and to all an acquittal!” while the FBI stared in dismay. She hasn’t been seen since.

This evidence will be used to prosecute Karen Schneider to the fullest extent when she is found. There is currently a reward for any information on Schenider’s whereabouts.

Stephanie Tokasz is a first-year Film, Photography, and Visual Art major who has made a killing selling sparkly pink MAGA hats on etsy.

You can reach them at stokasz@ithaca.edu

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Anti-Vaxxers Tell All They Were Just Scared of Needles the Whole Time //

by Eliel Safran, Staff Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

F

rom the darkest corners of Facebook to the haunted preschool mommy text groups, a key rung in the nightmare labyrinth of anti-vaxxer psychology has been uncovered. News that at once deconstructs this labyrinth for all to observe, and simultaneously expands its twists and turns, making it even more elusive and leaving more questions than answers.

Many have wondered what drives one to advocate against vaccines. Is it a traumatic formative memory of a bad vaccine reaction as a child? Is it a deep communal distrust in medical professionals due to years of community members being used as biological guinea pigs for the wealthier? Well… not for this particular bunch.

“I just don’t like needles,” says Marleen Baker from Seattle, WA. “So yeah I just kinda made some excuses up.

Said I thought the vaccine would turn me into a tangerine or something.”

Checking Marleen’s social media, she did indeed broadcast to her followers a concern that the polio vaccine would turn her into fruit. One post reads in all capitals, “VIOLET BEAUREGARDE FROM WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY WAS A WARNING. WAKE UP SHEEPLE, BIG MEDICINE IS CREATING AN ARMY OF HUMAN BLUEBERRIES.”

As surprising as that claim may appear, Marleen’s entire Facebook page is built off of these outlandish vaccine conspiracy theories. Another post suggests that the curtain rod industry has been paying doctors to implant devices in people designed to give the unsuspecting patient an unquenchable thirst for curtains, and yet another claims that vaccines make you a redhead, a fate no one wants. Reading

through Marleen’s eight years of spirited Facebook posts with the knowledge that it was all an act is shocking and honestly quite impressive, showcasing a commitment to deception and knack for illusion that not even David Blaine could match.

Somehow for Marleen, all of that deception was easier than simply admitting that she hated needles and it certainly was easier than facing her physician after her last visit, in which Marleen had tried to sit on a nurse’s lap to hide from the “scary pokey stick” and been shamed and scolded for it.

A shocking national survey has supported the hypothesis that Marleen is not alone in her mindset. Over 90 percent of anti-vaxxers wrote that their medical skepticism of vaccines was an elaborate fabricated cover-up for a fear of needles. The more anti-vaxxers come forward the stronger this trend shows itself to be.

Not even boulder Colorado native, Moonflakes Green, who can be found draped in flowy scarves peddling granola and a strictly raw food diet truly stands behind her antivax claims. “Sure I naturally birthed both of my babies and endured pinkeye for 5 years because I didn’t want to put steroids in my eye, but needles? Those things look like they hurt. I would love to get my hands on some of that sweet sweet medicine juice but I just don’t want that shit in my arm.”

“I guess it’s just more socially acceptable to be a rabid conspiracy theorist than it is to hate needles.” Bethany from Orange County, CA explains. “If another parent at your kid’s school holds a fanatical rage towards modern science, ya know, just another Tuesday. But if they freak out when they get poked? You might be calling CPS if ya know what I mean.

Freaky behavior.”

Eliel Safran is a first-year Film, Photography, and Visual Art major who saw Sleeping Beauty and isn’t taking any chances.

You can reach them at esafran@ithaca.edu

34

Trader Joe’s Fever Sweeps the Nation You Can’t Say No to Joe // by Ryan Bieber, Staff Writer

D

ozens of Ithaca locals have been reporting cases of what is now being known as the Trader Joe’s fever, which experts say likely originated over Twitter. Doctors say the disease is highly contagious and are encouraging shoppers to exercise an “abundance of caution.” Vaccines were set to hit stores this week, but shelf space in the Ithaca location is currently occupied by a surplus of kombucha.

The entire frenzy stems from the highly-anticipated grand-opening of Trader Joe’s over on Meadow Street; just down the road from Wegmans, Aldi, Tops, Greenstar and Super Walmart.

But Ithaca is not alone in its hysteria.

Across the country, Trader Joe’s has become somewhat of a viral sensation. New stores have been popping up all across the U.S., as the increasingly widespread grocery chain seeks to spread its reach. Some have accused Trader Joe’s for being hell-bent on global domination. The company’s primary weapon appears to be its “Everything But the Bagel Seasoning,” which has reached international levels of popularity.

“We want to put our quality products into the mouths of every man, woman and child,” a spokesperson for the company said. “We will not stop until our store and our message has touched each and every potential customer.”

Over the past few months, Ithaca locals have been glued to their screens, intensely waiting for the latest updates on the store’s arrival. Now, it is finally here. At the Feb. 19 opening, hundreds of local residents flocked to Trader Joe’s, despite the City’s request that everyone stay at home.

“Trader Joe’s fever is a very real thing,” a city official said in a statement. “We urge people to remain indoors until everything calms down. We have to get used to this new normal.”

Unfortunately, few obeyed the City’s warnings. Most said they couldn’t believe the hype until they experienced it for themselves.

“I mean there were always rumours that Trader Joe’s might come to Ithaca, but no one really believed it,” one local resident told Buzzsaw reporters. “It seemed so far away, like a distant dream. Now that it’s actually here, well, I get chills just thinking about it.”

Those stuck waiting in the line to enter the store were greeted with free samples. Most were wearing face-coverings to protect themselves from the fever, but quickly took them off so they could enjoy the tempting crackers and cheese platter.

Shoppers simply said it was “a risk they were willing to take.”

In the store, many folks said they were experiencing shortness of breath, but most attribute it to the shopping cart races that were being held in aisle 12. Others complained of having sore throats, but chalked it up to shouting at their children to put the Cocoa Crunch back on the shelf.

Some people were impressed by the store’s new scan guns, which allowed users to manually tag items and skip the checkout process. Still, many complained the technology was malfunctioning, telling certain customers they had a fever of 101 degrees.

Those who paid for groceries the old-fashioned way reported feeling completely “checked out” by the time the whole experience was over.

We caught up with one resident on her way back to Trader Joe’s, hoping to return the Cauliflower Gnocchi she had bought earlier.

“It’s the funniest thing,” she told us. “I took a bite, but I couldn’t taste a thing. It had no flavor, none at all.”

Still, products have been flying off the shelves and Trader Joe’s is struggling to keep up.

“We just weren’t prepared,” one employee admitted.

“We had no idea there would be such a demand for supplies.”

But the store management assures us that more of Trader Joe’s beloved products are on the way.

“We’ve reached out to China to get more orders of our fan favorite, Mandarin Orange Chicken. We should be getting new cases of it any day now.”

Still, not everyone is happy about Trader Joe’s arrival.

One particular resident, seen sporting a MAGA hat, expressed frustration about the store’s Spanish and Asian product lines, respectively titled under the Trader Jose’s and Trader Ming’s pseudonyms.

“I just want some good old American Trader Joe’s,” he proclaimed. “Why do they have to go and ruin it with all of this diversity crap?”

One shopper, a self-declared liberal, said she found the names to be offensive, but bought the products anyway.

“I mean, I don’t appreciate them stereotyping all these ethnicities, but where else am I supposed to get authentic salsa?”

Other residents have complained that Trader Joe’s arrival is affecting too much of their daily lives.

“It’s all they talk about when I turn on the TV,” one resident said. “I can’t seem to escape it and it’s making my life absolutely miserable.”

Like it or not, it doesn’t seem like Trader Joe’s will be going away anytime soon. For now, those wishing for an end to the madness need only cover their eyes with a mask, avoid people and stay indoors.

Ryan Bieber is a third-year journalism major who is currently engaged in a turf war between the reigning grocery store chains.You can reach them at rbieber@ithaca.edu.

35

Family Farm Kept Afloat Helped By College Students Trying to Find Themselves //

by Thomas Gonzales, Contributing Writer

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acob Boggs, 47, nearly had to sell his family farm last winter. The crops were failing, the moo cows were no longer giving milk and the chickens laid eggs without yolks.

After five generations Mr. Boggs thought he’d have to sell his farm, which had been in his family for five generations. But Jacob Boggs found a novel solution. Tyler MacWaldie, 22, an undergraduate of Swarthmore College found himself at the Boggs farm, having drifted in from the bus station with only five dollars and a collection of original poetry to his name.

Mr. Boggs was able to put Tyler to work, tending to chickens, milking cows and giving him boarding in a family barn that has been standing since 1879.

“It was a real lucky break for me,” said MacWaldie while shearing a goat, “I’ve been looking at going to graduate school but I feel like a gap year will really help me figure out where I wanna go for the rest of my life.”

Zarah Fisk of Morningside Heights is also taking a gap year from NYU and is now one of nearly 15 farm hands that have enrolled in a four-year university. She’s slow plowing the fields, multi-tasking with a long exposure Leica that they don’t make anymore and no, you can’t hold.

“It was either this or intern at Dad’s law firm,” she says.

“I guess I could have applied to Goldman Sachs but I really wanted to do something real, challenge myself.”

Despite many of the students in residence having never mowed a lawn prior to their employment, Mr. Boggs said he’s satisfied with the results. “You know, the biggest thing I have to put up with after most of them moved in is now all the livestock being named after Fitzgerald characters, but they put in a day’s work.”

“I finally feel in touch with the proletariat,” says Patrick Gill from New Haven. “This place would be better if it was a co-op but I guess under our capitalist system it’s not the most shameful thing I could be doing. I almost sold out and got an internship at NBC, my uncle does what they call product development there, or as I say he manufactures the consent.”

When Patrick isn’t working his way through the summaries of Marx he keeps handy he drives the tractor for the Saturday hayride.

The farm does look different now, there’s a Vampire Weekend poster hanging over hay bales in the barn and a Thoreau quote painted across the side of the chicken coupe.

Since Tyler is the only one who isn’t vegan, he is busy in the slaughterhouse. As for next year, Tyler says that he will be back if he doesn’t finish his novel by planting season.

Thomas Gonzalez is a fourth-year Cinema Production major who has already purchased farming tools in anticipation of post-grad life.

You can reach them at tgonzalez2@ithaca.edu

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Green Screen Available in

Stores Everywhere Hide Every Shade of Envy //

by Sydney Joyce, Staff Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

E

ver seen someone wearing the shoes you’ve literally dreamed about and contemplated ripping them off their feet? Ever seen how big someone’s house is in an Instagram picture and yearned to have more than $200 in your bank account? Ever seen someone getting a hug in the show you are watching on Netflix and wished desperately that you were being hugged since you haven’t been within 6 feet of a person in a year?

In any of these situations, have you felt a crawling of warmness grow on your face or seen your skin start turning a sickly green? Well, you’re not alone. And there’s no need to crawl into a trashcan and start living like Oscar the Grouch.

What you’re experiencing is Turning Green With Envy, a skin condition that is not uncommon. But not to worry, TGE is a purely cosmetic condition that is easily treatable.

“How can I treat it?” you may ask. It’s easy with our product Green Screen. Simply apply the moisturizing, concealing cream to your skin every morning, and it will protect you for the entire day. With Green Screen, you will no longer have to worry that you look like Shrek when you see pictures of your classmates from high school who have succeeded with ease.

Green Screen is a light cream that won’t clog your pores or make your skin itch, and it is guaranteed to keep your skin within one shade of its natural color. It lasts for a full 24 hours without needing reapplication, keeping any resemblance to the Grinch at bay.

Worry about everyday envy and the effects of TGE no more! With Green Screen, your skin will look like a dream, free of any mean green gleam!

Sydney Joyce is a fourth-year writing major who is always a calming shade of sage green.

You can reach them at sjoyce@ithaca.edu.

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Weekly Schedule for Sinning Map Out Your Misgivings // by Ananya Gambhiraopet, Staff Writer

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ver wondered how to keep your life of sin super well organized? Do YOU lust after smooth ink pens, take pride in your color-coordinated excel sheets, and unleash your unrestrained wrath on the people who cancelled plans with you after you specifically wrote in the event in your planner? Well. Here’s a schedule just for you; the perfect way to keep your life of sin balanced and organized!

Sunday: Sloth

The beginning of the week starts with sloth, and essentially our goal is to put the phrase “lazy Sunday” to shame.

The motto for today is “Do less, or even better, do nothing”.

Channel the vibes with: “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars, turning off your phone and taking a 17 hour nap

Monday: Wrath

Ah the first working day of the week. Obviously, you haven’t gotten much sleep last night because you were up doing work you procrastinated on the entire weekend AND YOUR ALARM JUST WON’T SHUT THE HELL UP! Anyway You absolutely should not take a deep breath or count to ten. Today is the day you channel that internal rage and throw your dinner plates across the room, or send envelopes of glitter to your enemies. Whatever gets your blood boiling.

Channel the vibes with: The latest season of Riverdale, or stubbing your toe seven times in a row

Tuesday: Pride

Start off the day by calling your relatives and bragging about your grades and your job and your new state-of-the-art Keurig and the fact that you’re not being forced to attend your cousin’s wedding on Saturday. Really use these 24 hours to feel proud of yourself and think about how you are the best person to ever walk this planet, and then imagine your parents being proud of you too because it’ll never happen in real life :) Channel the vibes with: “Me!” By Taylor Swift, or by imagining you’re Rachel Berry from Glee

Wednesday: Lust

It’s hump day, need I say more?

Channel the vibes with: “WAP”, or if you’re looking for more spice, try the WAP x Rasputin Mashup

Thursday: Envy

Green is your go-to color today. Your jealousy knows no bounds. It’s not the energetic start of the week, nor is it the weekend and you’re jealous of everyone whose life is better than yours. Also, let’s be honest with ourselves: you cannot be more envious of that one person who posts on Instagram every single day. How are they always doing fun things??? We’re in a panoramic for heaven’s sake!

Channel the vibes with: “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers, “Jealous” by Nick Jonas

Friday: Gluttony

It’s your time to feast. Hang out with your friends, order wayyy too much pizza and some garlic bread and chicken wings and maybe some pasta and definitely dessert and honestly you should get some drinks to wash all those down.

Today, your stomach is a bottomless pit.

Take that last bite :) Channel the vibes with: “Bon Appetit” by Katy Perry, Ratatouille

Saturday: Greed

Shop, shop, shop.

Imagine that it’s Amazon Prime day, Black Friday and store shutdown clearance sales all rolled into one and horde all the things you can. Channel your phase 1 COVID self and go to the store to clear out all of those shelves. Don’t think, just buy that panini press (even though you know you’re just going to go to the cafe next door when you want one anyway.)

Indulge.

More stuff will fill up your empty, empty life and make you happy.

Channel the vibes with: “How Bad Can I Be” from The Lorax, “Shiny” from Moana Ananya Gambhiraopet is a first-year Communication Management and Design major who channels Buzzsaw vibes by listening to keyboard typing noises.

You can reach them at agambhiraopet@ithaca.edu

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buzzsaw asks why... we don’t care about these other super important biblical sins?

I get it. I’m going to hell for wearing fishnets and throwing it back to songs from the Muppets Movie, and I have accepted that because Ms. Piggy could definitely choke me out with her boa. That still won’t stop me from shaming you for committing any of these sins, because honestly the ‘seven’ get too much attention and it's time we knock them down a peg.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Patriotism Put away the 4th of July fireworks and the hot dogs. Save us from the Facebook rants about the “greatest Patriotism: country in the world.” Instead of voting go to confession. Reconsider who you sided with in Civil War. Worry: School got you stressed? Waiting on a paycheck? Scared of bible thumpers? Throw out that Xanax and chill out Worry dawg. Otherwise you’re not making it to eternal happiness. No pressure tho.

Gossip: No, I don’t want to hear about what happened with that girl I went to high school with. I’m above that. But I also Gossip heard that she…

Astrology: The Dalai Lama invested in the CoStar app. This was the best reactionary move.

Astrology Eating Blood: Blood Disney ignored my numerous petitions to get My Babysitter’s A Vampire off the air. Fine! Keep exposing our impressionable youth to blasphemous blood-drinking plus I know those depraved kids from Jessie believed in evolution.

Joking/Jesting: I really became the Sawdust editor to identify potential sinners in our ranks. I’m praying for you.

Joking/Jesting Cursing the Rich: Rich Stop blaming all your problems on Bezos. He has enough money to fix most of them, but not helping your neighbor when you have the means to is also a sin, so it’ll all even out in the end.

Getting Drunk: Drunk 99% sure it was Jesus who turned water into wine. He’s like that kid who would ask you out in middle school just to make fun of you for having a crush on them. Good bullying tactic, bad holiness tactic.

Filthy Dreams: Dreams My roommate has reported me calling out Steve Buscemi’s name in my sleep. No comment.

Listening to Fables: Fables Yes, Hansel and Gretel is a story condemning gluttony that children can easily understand. Just read the bible to your youngsters instead.

Not Bearing Good Fruit: Fruit Did your son just say he wants to play lacrosse? Bad news for you.

Women Speaking in Church: Church We all know what happened to that harlot Anne Hutchinson.

Fullness of Bread: Bread Can we all just agree to ignore this one? If the bible had been written over a round of hearty bread bowls, this sin would have been scratched off the parchment during the first round of biblical copy editing.

Idols: As a child I used to be nervous I was going to hell for watching American Idol with my family because it meant I was Idols worshipping falsely. That’s how you know your faith works.

Hunting: Fun fact, squirrel meat tastes like steak. Don’t ask me how I know that.

Hunting Being Vegetarian: Vegetarian Good thing hypocrisy is also a sin.

Scoffing: Puh! Well. I don’t approve of this one.

Scoffing Planning for Tomorrow: Tomorrow I threw out my planner last week for Jesus. My Sakai has been blowing up. Probably congratulations for my impressive faith.

Mocking Sin: Sin Well… this does not look great for me.

Your editor who does think priest’s robes look really comfortable, Sarah Borsari

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