Forever Young April 2024

Photo courtesy of Compeer Buffalo

1412

Phone 716.783.9119

Fax 716.783.9983

www.foreveryoungwny.com

CORPORATE

President

Vice President / Chief Revenue Officer / Publisher

EDITORIAL

Executive Editor

Managing Editor

Contributing Writers

Proofreader

Creative Director

Lead Designer

ART & PRODUCTION

Senior Graphic Designers / Illustrators

Graphic Designers

Sharon C. Levite

Barbara E. Macks

Sabrina Kahwaty

Donna Hoke

Tara Erwin, Amy Lynn Hardy, Carol Ann Harlos, Nanette D. Massey, Carol DiPirro-Stipkovits, Judith A. Rucki

Sharon C. Levite

Jean-Pierre Thimot

Nicholas Vitello

Joshua Flanigan, Kim Miers

Taramarie Mitravich, Rachel Kaznica

Photographers kc kratt, Luke Copping, Stephen Gabris, Nancy J. Parisi

ADVERTISING & SALES

Director of Sales & Advertising

National Ad Director

Senior Account Executives

Account Executives

Sales Coordinator

Barbara E. Macks

Terri Downey

Mary Beth Holly, Caroline Kunze, Robin Lenhard

Keren Green, Rachel Wasserman

Robin Lenhard

MARKETING & CIRCULATION

Director of Audience Development

Social Media Director

Web Master

Finance Manager

DIGITAL

Robin Lenhard

Robin Lenhard

Kim Miers

FINANCE

Elizabeth Harvey

Forever Young is published monthly, with an annual Senior Directory. Copyright ©2024 by Buffalo Spree

During lockdown, we focused a lot on the virtual connection that enabled us to attend meetings, webinars, or cultural events. But some of the best virtual time I spent during that time was logging in to a video call with a friend and cross-stitching together. We hardly looked at the screen but talked steadily as we stitched; to me, that’s the difference between connection and companionship. Sometimes, we just need to be in the presence of another living being, whether it’s a cat on our lap as we work a crossword or somebody quietly working a jigsaw with us.

Over the next two issues, we’re exploring the idea of connection. This one focuses on companionship, and next month we’ll be exploring staying connected to the world at

Never miss a

Call 716-972-2238 or fill out and mail in the subscription form on page 20.

large (coinciding with the theme of this year’s national Older Americans Month: powered by connection). Connection is important for our edification, our humanity, and most importantly our mental well being. Let us help you stay connected.

Donna Hoke Managing Editor

FOREVER YOUNG *APRIL RESOURCES

*PLEASE CONTACT EVENT/PROGRAM ORGANIZERS TO CONFIRM INFORMATION PROVIDED Do you have an event or resource to list? Email it to skahwaty@foreveryoungwny.com.

Buffalo HEADWAY SUPPORT GROUPS For individuals who have sustained brain injuries, their families, and caregivers; exchange information and resources, and find mutual support and encouragement. Info: 408-3100 or headwayofwny.org

Buffalo PARKINSON’S SUPPORT GROUP United Way – Room 219, 742 Delaware Avenue, Buffalo. Contact: Stephanie Mruzek. Email: eastamherstDSM@ solsticeseniorliving.com. Visit parkinson.org for a full listing of Parkinson’s support groups in WNY.

Buffalo ZERO/US TOO! PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP meets on the first Tuesday of each month at the Buffalo VA Hospital (3495 Bailey Avenue, Room 301) 7-9 p.m. and at Sisters Hospital, St. Joe’s Campus (2605 Harlem Road in the First Floor Community Room) 7-9 p.m., on the third Tuesday of each month. Free and open to all.

Buffalo LGBTQ MEMORY LOSS CAREGIVERS PROGRAM: The Pride Center of WNY offers support and education for people providing care for a person with Alzheimer’s Disease and other dementias. For information: 852-7743 or pridecenterwny.org

Clarence WNY MEDICARE SMART START PROGRAM offers free help applying for Medicare. WNY MEDICARE SMARTSAVER PROGRAM offers free help to review, research, maximize coverage, and minimize out-of-pocket expenses. Services offered through WNY Medicare Resource Center. Info: 833-0252 or wnymedicare.org

Depew BREAST CANCER NETWORK OF WNY Call 706-0060 or visit bcnwny.org for more information.

Derby GRAYCLIFF DOCENTS NEEDED Upon completion of the Graycliff Docent Training Program, trainees will have the knowledge and confidence to present the stories of Graycliff to visitors in their own way. Please complete an online application form by April 1: experiencegraycliff. org/support/volunteer.

East Aurora CHRONIC PAIN/ FIBROMYALGIA SUPPORT GROUP Beginning April 20 from 10-11:30 a.m., this new group will meet at First Baptist Church (591 Porterville Road) and then meet regularly every third Saturday of the month. Share support and stories, learn about causes and symptoms, understand treatment, practice relaxation techniques, and more. Meetings also available via Zoom. For info, call Sue at 697-1657, Barbara at 574-0164, or Diane at 544-0954.

Erie County FOSTER GRANDPARENT PROGRAM

Erie County residents ages 55+: stay active and reap social-emotional health benefits by developing oneon-one relationships with children in a school setting. Stipend included. For info: 896-6388 or ccwny.org/ older-adults.

Erie County RECEIVE OR MAKE A FRIENDLY CALL! Participants and caring volunteers are sought for the free Catholic Charities’ Telephone Assurance Program (TAP) geared to adults 60+ and adults with disabilities who experience loneliness due to isolation. Volunteers must be at least 21 years old; all training is provided. To learn more about receiving calls volunteering, contact Catholic Charities at 262-6164 or TAP@ccwny.org.

Gowanda HEALTHY COMMUNITY ALLIANCE

Activities open to the public age 50+, (no residency requirements), Concord Senior Center, 1 School Street, Gowanda; for schedule, visit communityalliance.org; 532-1010.

Hamburg ALZHEIMER’S CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUP for males; call 626-0600 or visit alz. org/wnyc for info.

Kenmore KENTON COMMUNITY RESOURCE

HUB offers health and wellness and providers, WIC, SNAP, veterans’ assistance, and more. Third Thursday of each month, 11:30-1:30 p.m. Kenmore United Methodist Church (32 Landers Road). For info, email kumcoffice32@gmail.com.

Niagara Falls SENIOR COMPANION/FOSTER GRANDPARENT PROGRAM

Looking for seniors who enjoy working with their peers or children. Volunteers receive a tax-free stipend, transportation assistance, and supplemental insurance coverage while volunteering. If you are 55+ and want to make a difference, call 2858224 Jennifer Britton (ext. 217) for Senior Companions and Kelly Carr (ext. 228) for Foster Grandparents

Niagara Falls SINGLES SOCIAL CLUB: This active 50+ crowd holds Meet & Greets second Fridays at Tim Hortons (8500 Niagara Falls Boulevard) and dances third Friday at Buff Social Club (2565 Young St.). For more info, see Facebook: SINGLES SOCIAL CLUB or call 550-1232

Northtowns SOARING SPIRITS WNY Widowed people meet for conversation, meals, and support. Ongoing meetings take place at Hillview Restaurant (6135 Transit Road) and Family Tree Restaurant (4336 North Bailey Avenue). Learn more at soaringspirits.org and Facebook. For information, contact Toni (admucilli@gmail.com) or Debbie (howndeb@hotmail.com).

Online IMAGINE BUFFALO SPEAKER SERIES Presented by the Buffalo & Erie County Public Library in conjunction with C-SAAHN and ImagineLifelongLearning.com via Zoom every Tuesday at 12:30 p.m.

Each week features a local speaker and Q&A. FREE. Visit website for Zoom link: buffalolib.libcal.org

Online LAUGHTER WELLNESS Come as you are, just bring your laughter! Tuesdays at 11 a.m. FREE. Visit facebook.com/ Buffalo-Laughers for information.

Southtowns NEW HORIZONS MUSIC Calling all musicians

50+. For info, email Janet Stout at 354janet@gmail.com and visit newhorizonsmusic.org.

West Seneca AMANA GARDEN CLUB OF WEST SENECA, is welcoming new members interested in gardening, floral arrangement, and more. For more information, contact Marie: 8848543

Williamsville MCGUIRE GROUP MEMORY CARE SUPPORT: Coordinated with the Alzheimer’s Association, with caregiving tips and coping mechanisms. Info: 632-3700 or mcguiregroup.com

West Seneca PARKINSON’S SOCIAL GROUP Make new friends every third Wednesday of the month at 6:00 p.m. at St. John’s Evangelical Lutheran Church (3512 Clinton Street). Info: 6743287 or recmab@aol.com

Multiple Locations TOPS CLUBS

Take Off Pounds Sensibly Clubs offer tools, programs, support, and fellowship for healthy living and weight management.

Akron For info, call Diane 542-4980

Niagara Falls For info, call Beth 385-7558

Farnham For info, call 934-9619

Lancaster For info, call Eva 407-0539

Silver Creek For info, call 680-0313

Tonawanda For info, call 693-5161

www.tops.org

West Seneca For info, call 474-9125

ACROSS

1. Aggressive remark

5. Pampering spot

8. Wharton degree

11. Light bulb, in comic book

12. Burn to a crisp

13. Size option

15. Cameron of “There’s Something About Mary”

16. Fabled racer

17. Take care of debt (2 words)

18. *He wore a white leisure suit on the dance floor

20. It can be pleasant or unpleasant

21. Buenos ____

22. Dove’s sound

23. *She wore a white dress above a subway grate

26. Get house ready for living

30. Rap sheet acr.

31. Famous fictional canine

34. Brussels org.

35. Not Astroturf

37. Take the gold

38. Certain cigarette

39. Speed of object divided by speed of sound

40. Lord’s subordinate

42. Ann Patchett’s novel “____ Canto”

43. Made by Bayer

45. Friskily

47. Long period of time

48. Repeat, in music

50. Cough syrup balsam

52. *She wore a meat dress

55. What cobbler does

56. Good’s foe?

57. Muddy road grooves

59. Waltz, in France

60. White House “sub”

61. Red light action

62. Layer

63. Marching insect

64. Sports award

DOWN

1. Ebay click

2. Miners’ passage

3. *Kim Kardashian exposed it on the cover of Paper in 2014

4. *Harper’s ____, famous fashion magazine, launched in 1867

5. Fossil fuel rock deposit

6. Fractions

7. Atlas stat

8. Egg salad ingredient

9. View from high-speed train?

10. High mountain

12. Uncontrollable movement disorder

13. Animal trail

14. *Singer who sported a cone bra

19. Viola da Gamba, pl.

22. Pool tool

23. Molten rock

24. Southern cuisine pods

25. Civil rights org.

26. Jimmy Buffet: “You got ____ to the left...”

27. Many iambs

28. Iron/carbon alloy

29. *Golightly of little black dress and sunglasses fame

32. Tchaikovsky’s fowl

33. Bro’s sib

36. *Nothing came between her and her Calvins

38. Loud noise

40. Car’s unique identifier, acr.

41. Diamond on a sweater

44. Awaken

46. Rough

48. Type of juniper

49. Proclamation

50. Bluish green

51. Billy Joel’s “____ the Good Die Young”

52. Bulgarian money

53. Glory prerequisite

54. Above

55. NFL’s Lamar Jackson in 1923, e.g

58. Done with “my little eye”?

THEME: ICONIC FASHION MOMENTS

Too much of a good thing

Watch light, water, pruning, and insect control

In the Shakespearean play, As You Like It, when Rosalind asks, “Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing?” This was a reference to love and marriage, but the reference also pertains to our beloved gardens.

The most common example of too much of a good garden thing is fertilizer. And backyard gardeners misapply soil fertilizers more than farmers, presumably because anyone with a business doesn’t want to waste their money. Some folks assume that all garden soil is deficient in nutrients and add fertilizer. This is bad for several reasons, the most obvious being that the assumption may be incorrect! Overapplication of fertilizer leads to

unnecessary buildup of salt in the soil, which reduces uptake of water by plant roots and results in smaller plants. The well-intentioned gardener might then add even more fertilizer!

In addition, nutrients such as phosphorus which are soluble in water may leach from the garden into the water table and streams. This leads to algae growth on the water surface, which prevents light from reaching the water depths, reduces oxygen in the water, and contributes to the death of fish.

Yikes! What to do: get your soil tested before adding nutrients. Your local Cooperative Extension can do soil pH (degree of acidity or alkalinity) and/or for a complete soil analysis visit dairyone.com, where you can download the proper forms, learn how to submit soil samples, etc.

Next up is water, i.e. overwatering, though I’ve seen more examples of poor watering than overwatering. This

happens when the gardener waters shallowly and applied water only goes down an inch or so. The problem here is that roots go where the water is; with shallow watering, the plants dry out quickly because the roots are near the soil surface. The problem is exacerbated when the gardener frequently repeats this poor watering habit. What to do? Water deeply weekly!

On occasion, overwatering does occur. Someone forgets to turn off water or a sudden storm causes temporary flooding. Plant leaves may yellow. If no drainage occurs for several weeks, some plants may die; even if they live, it may take several weeks for the soil to dry out. This requires patience and perhaps some crossed fingers.

Ah insects… Most are not harmful to you or to your plants and a spray of water—especially under the leaves— will frequently be enough to get rid of insects such as aphids. The great

gardener is an observant one who, early in the season, looks at leaves, flowers, and other flower parts for eggs. Please keep in mind: anything that kills an insect is an insecticide whether it is organic or manufactured. Neem oil is a natural product, but it kills all insects. (I am a beekeeper remember?)

If a plant in your garden is doing poorly think: soil, light, moisture, competition. Play detective by observing. Remember: right plant, right place. Patience, dear gardening friends.

I love hearing from you: caharlos@ verizon.net FY

Carol Ann Harlos is an awardwinning retired math and science teacher, Master Gardener, beekeeper, writer, and speaker. She tends extensive gardens, including herbs, and loves learning from others and sharing her knowledge.

CAROL ANN HARLOS

Finding church records

Researching the faith of our fathers

Religion had a profound place in our ancestors’ lives, and uncovering it can open a window into their lives while also leading to new records. Kept long before vital records were required and recorded, church baptism, marriage, and death contain vital information that you may not be able to find elsewhere.

The first step in locating religious records is identifying which congregation your ancestors belonged to. You may be able to learn the

affiliation of more recent generations by asking older relatives where their grandparents or parents worshipped. Next, review documents you already have for clues, e.g. obituaries often mention the deceased’s cemetery or church while marriage records may identify the officiant. Look at family headstones for words or symbols that point to a particular faith; a reverse Google image search can easily decipher these.

Houses of worship have traditionally been more than places to practice faith; they were and are the center of a community—so don’t overlook newspapers. I was lucky enough to find my ancestor’s photo serving food at a picnic in her small town’s churchyard. Still no luck? The area where they lived can provide a general direction in which to start. For example, people in the American South tend to practice Baptist or Methodist faiths, while a large percentage of Lutherans live in the Midwest.

Some denominations were more thorough than others when it came to recordkeeping. In my experience, those that reported to a higher authority (yes, a religious pun) but were mandated to keep records at a local level tend to be the best kept. This would include Catholic, LatterDay Saints, Lutherans, and Quakers. Records from churches that acted independently may be harder to track down. For example, hundreds of Baptist groups with thousands of individual churches made their own decisions about what to record. Digging a little about recording practices can save you hours of research.

If you’re lucky to find an ancestor’s place of worship that still exists, contact it directly to find out if old records exist, where they may be located, and if copies are available. They may be stored locally or housed at a central location. In one case, I found the records of baptism were kept by a pastor who, upon

relocating, took the record book with him. I’m still following his moves from state to state trying to locate his final resting spot, if you will.

As noted earlier, many of these records are not available online although that number rises every year as more and more are indexed. FamilySearch (familysearch.org) is a free site with a substantial collection of original records for many denominations including Quaker, Presbyterian, Lutheran, and Roman Catholic. Ancestry.com and other paid sites also have records available with a subscription.

I hit pay dirt recently on Google books, an often-overlooked free option with new books digitized daily. (books.google.com). I gave myself a gold star for finding a published history of my ancestor’s small town that included the name of church members at the tiny local parishes.

Besides providing names and dates, church records may reveal a family’s status in the community, moves to a new area, or relationships between people that can add culture and color to your family tree. FY

Carol DiPirro-Stipkovits is a member of both the National Genealogical Society and Association of Professional Genealogists. She is also Vice-President and Board Chairman of the Niagara County Genealogical Society. Send questions or comments to her at noellasdaughter@gmail.com.

CAROL DIPIRRO-STIPKOVITS

Please call event organizers to confirm information provided. Listings are alphabetical by day.

MONDAY

AMERICAN LEGION MCKEEVER POST

1770 South Park Ave., Buffalo

7:30 p.m. 822-6400

HAMBURG–KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS

36 Pierce Ave., Hamburg

7:30 p.m.

649-9830/649-4340

MATTHEW GLAB POST

1965 Abbott Rd., Lackawanna

7 p.m.

ST. AMELIA

2999 Eggert Rd., Tonawanda

7:15 p.m.

825-3733

836-0011

TUESDAY

AMVETS MEDALLION POST NO. 13

25 Review Pl., Buffalo

7:30 p.m. 874-0559

ASSUMPTION PARISH

435 Amherst St., Buffalo

7:30 p.m. 876-1038

ARMOR VOL. FIRE CO.

4932 Clark St., Hamburg

7:30 p.m. 649-9821

EVAN’S SENIOR CENTER

999 Sturgeon Point Rd., Derby

9 a.m. 947-0974

FATHER JUSTIN K OF C

2735 Union Rd., Cheektowaga

1 p.m. 681-7251

HARTLAND VFC

8945 Ridge Rd., Hartland

7:30 p.m.

2 p.m. (second Tuesday)

OUR LADY OF POMPEII

129 Laverack Ave., Lancaster

7 p.m. 683-6522

ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH 1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore

7:30 p.m. 873-6716

ST. ALOYSIUS RCC

156 Franklin St., Springville

7:30 p.m. 592-2701

ST. AMELIA

2999 Eggert Rd., Tonawanda

7:15 p.m. 836-0011

ST.FRANCIS OF ASSISI

4263 St. Francis Dr.,Hamburg

7:30 p.m. 627-2710

THURSDAY

AMERICAN LEGION POST 1041 533 Amherst St., Buffalo

7 p.m. 875-9276

BLESSED TRINITY 317 Leroy Ave., Buffalo 8 p.m. 833-0301

FATHER JUSTIN K OF C 2735 Union Rd., Cheektowaga 1 p.m. 681-7251

FOURTEEN HOLY HELPERS

1345 Indian Church Rd., West Seneca 7 p.m. ................................................. 674-2374

K OF C MADONNA COUNCIL NO. 2535

755 Erie Ave., North Tonawanda

7:30 p.m. 693-5470

ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH

1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore

7:30 p.m. 873-6716

ST. JAMES DEPEW

500 Terrace Blvd., Depew

7:30 p.m. ............................................ 683-2746

VFW COL. WEBER POST 989

2909 South Park Ave., Lackawana

7:30 p.m. 823-9605

FRIDAY

AM. LEG. MCKEEVER POST

1770 South Park Ave., Buffalo

7:30 p.m. 822-6400

ASSUMPTION PARISH

435 Amherst St., Buffalo

ST. ANDREW CHURCH

111 Crocker St., Sloan

7:30 p.m. 892-0425

WEDNESDAY

AM. LEG. MCKEEVER POST 1770 S. Park Ave., Buffalo

7:30 p.m. 822-6400

FATHER JUSTIN K OF C — SPONSORED BY THE JUSTINETTES 2735 Union Rd., Cheektowaga

7 p.m. 681-7251

LANCASTER ELKS

33 Legion Parkway, Lancaster 7 p.m. 685-1478

OUR LADY OF HOPE

KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS 1530 Kenmore Ave., Buffalo

1 p.m. 875-5780

7:30 p.m. 876-1038

DALE ASSOCIATION CENT.

33 Ontario St., Lockport

7 p.m. (first and third Fridays).. 433-1886

SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT

11099 Route 5, Irving

7 p.m. 1-800-421-2464

ST. ALOYSIUS GONZAGA

157 Cleveland

Bingo Calendar B (continued)

SATURDAY

BUFFALO GAY BINGO/ AIDS PLUS FUND OF WNY

Amvets Medallion Post 13, 13 Review Pl., Buffalo

7 p.m. (2nd Sat.) 874-0559

CARDINAL O’HARA HIGH SCHOOL

39 O'Hara Rd., Tonawanda

7:30 p.m. ................................ 695-2600 x326

OUR LADY OF BISTRICA

1619 Abbott Rd., Lackawanna

7:15 p.m. 822-0818

SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT

11099 Route 5, Irving

1 & 7 p.m. 1-800-421-2464

ST. AMELIA’S RCC

2999 Eggert Rd., Tonawanda

1 p.m. 836-0011

ST. ANDREW CHURCH

111 Crocker St., Sloan

7:30 p.m. 892-0425

ST. JOHN XXIII

1 Arcade St., W. Seneca

7 p.m. 239-2787

SUNDAY

CARDINAL O’HARA HIGH SCHOOL

39 O'Hara Rd., Tonawanda

1 p.m. 695-2600 x326

DELEVAN VFC

N. Main St., Delevan

7 p.m. 492-1910

LOCKPORT ELKS LODGE 41

6791 N. Canal Rd., Lockport 7 p.m. (first and third Sundays). ........ 434-2798

OUR LADY OF POMPEII

129 Laverack Ave., Lancaster

2 p.m. 683-6522

SENECA GAMING AND ENTERTAINMENT

11099 Route 5, Irving

1 & 7 p.m.

ST. ANDREW’S CHURCH

1525 Sheridan Dr., Kenmore

549-4389

7 p.m. 873-6716

BINGO IN CANADA

GOLDEN NUGGET

655 Garrison Rd., Fort Erie

1 & 7 p.m. daily • 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday

4 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. 905-871-1277

DELTA MONTE CARLO

4735 Drummond, N. Falls

1 & 7 p.m. 905-356-8104

CASINO

SENECA GAMING

Broad St., Salamanca

1 p.m. Sunday • 1 & 7 p.m. Wednesday

7 p.m. Thursday and Friday • 1 & 7 p.m. Saturday

945-4080, 877-860-5130

ONEIDA INDIAN HIGH STAKES

BINGO AT TURNING STONE

5218 Patrick Rd., Verona

12:45 & 7 p.m. daily 800-782-1938

Navigating life’s transitions with Caring Transitions Buffalo

A guide for older adults

COMPLIMENTS OF CARING TRANSITIONS BUFFALO

Life is a journey filled with transitions: relocating, downsizing, estate planning, and managing loved ones’ estates. For older adults, these transitions can be overwhelming and laden with emotional and logistical challenges. Fortunately, there’s a beacon of support amidst these transitions: Caring Transitions.

Caring Transitions is not just a service; it’s a lifeline for seniors navigating major life changes. With a blend of compassion, expertise, and personalized care, Caring Transitions alleviates transition-

related stress, making the journey smoother and more manageable.

One of Caring Transitions’ primary services is relocation assistance. Whether you’re downsizing to a smaller home,

transitioning to assisted living, or moving closer to family, relocating can be daunting. Caring Transitions shoulders the burden, handling everything from organizing and packing belongings to handling the move and unpacking on the other end. The Caring Transitions

team understands possessions’ sentimental value and ensures each item is handled with care, so memories are preserved while entering a new chapter of life.

Caring Transitions also provides estate sale services and assists older adults and their families with the

complexities of estate liquidation. With a keen understanding of market trends and valuation expertise, Caring Transitions professionals maximize asset value while minimizing stress. Whether you’re selling furniture, collectibles, or other personal property, Caring Transitions manages every aspect of the estate sale process, allowing seniors to focus on what matters most—their well-being.

Having the public galivant through the home not for you?

Caring Transitions is equipped with CT BIDS, online auctions that provide a convenient platform for buying and selling a wide range of items from furniture to collectibles. With easy browsing, secure

transactions, and nationwide reach, CT BIDS offers a streamlined experience for both buyers and sellers, making online shopping and selling hassle-free.

In addition to practical assistance, Caring Transitions offers invaluable support in estate planning and management. From organizing important documents

to facilitating discussions about goals in the next chapter, Caring Transitions puts your desires first.

What sets Caring Transitions apart? Its commitment to personalized care. Every client is unique; services are tailored to individual needs and preferences. Whether providing emotional support during a difficult transition or offering practical solutions to logistical challenges, Caring Transitions delivers compassionate care every step of the way.

Caring Transitions is more than just a service provider—it’s a trusted partner, a beacon of hope, and source of comfort in uncertain times. With Caring Transitions’ help, seniors can navigate life’s transitions with confidence, dignity, peace of mind, and reassurance that they’re not alone on the journey FY

For more information please visit Caring Transitions of BuffaloCaring Transitions or call 716-5804822 to schedule your FREE in home consultation.

“Man’s best friend” is no joke

Pets enhance our lives

BY AMY LYNN HARDY

Adopting a pet isn’t just for the good of the pet; there are owner benefits as well, including companionship, comfort, fun, exercise. Pets are there for us when we’re sad and often provide laughs. Perhaps most of all, being responsible for a living creature creates an emotional bond that can increase longevity, improve depression, decrease cortisol levels, and lower blood pressure.

For example, scientific evidence purports that a cat’s purr sends out a frequency valuable to humans. At 25-150 Hertz, a purr actually holds therapeutic properties, decreasing blood pressure, alleviating stress, and assisting healing. Studies with pulsed electromagnetic field devices have shown purring to benefit bone healing, osteoarthritic inflammation, and postoperative pain. Plus, cats are soft, clean, cuddly, and provide hours of entertainment; have you seen how many cat videos there are on the internet?

Sue of West Falls has been a lifelong cat lover. Eight years ago, when her son went overseas, she took in his cat, Meowy, which provided a “sibling” to tabby Peanut and German Shepherd Sammy. “When my husband passed away, the animals were there for me,” Sue says. “Now Peanut and Sammy have also passed away, and Meowy and I have a great bond. I scratch his neck on the couch [for hours]. He gets wild with catnip and plays with his toys. We’re buddies.”

Meowy’s companionship has been a calming comfort for Sue. Not sure if a cat is for you? Or just not able to commit fulltime? Enjoy a calming cat visit at Buckminster’s Cat Café on Niagara Street, where you can stroke and play with cats while you enjoy a latte and pastry. This café has been getting rescue cats adopted since 2018, so if you change your mind about ownership, staff is ready to answer questions.

Dogs also provide humans with numerous health benefits—the very reason people have therapy dogs. Dogs give their humans full attention and, when a person is struggling, they know how to sit still and be present. Dogs also need daily walking and playtime, so increased exercise is a benefit of ownership. Area dog-friendly cafés also exist, with outdoor seating to accommodate canine companions; check out Orange Cat Coffee Co., Goodrich Coffee & Tea, Wonder Coffeehouse, and Great Lakes Coffee Roasters. Meet other owners and their pooches at Cheektowaga’s

Barkology, which has indoor and outdoor dog parks.

Don’t assume it’s only cats and dogs who offer benefits; owning small pets—birds, snakes, chinchillas, rabbits, etc.—has the same positive impact. Even watching a fish swim in a tank can calm the central nervous system and reduce stress—and the tank only needs to be cleaned once every two weeks. If you want a small, low-maintenance creature to sit on your lap and nibble greens from your hand, a guinea pig or hamster fills the bill and tidying their cage only takes about fifteen minutes. Check pet stores for smaller pets.

companion,” she says. “A smart, curious, affectionate dog who loves to walk and play. Most importantly, she makes me laugh every day with her enjoyment of life.” Matt of Cheektowaga sometimes thinks his dog, Eiger, rescued him: “He keeps me active, energized, and feeling younger. Taking him for daily walks has also helped me to get to know my neighbors better.”

‘Who’s doing the rescuing?’ is a

sincere question. My own cat, Mr. Sessels, is a rescue who has been there for me in hard moments, cuddling and purring. Even when he wakes me every single morning at 4:40 a.m. for food or meows until he gets what he wants, I wouldn’t have it any other way. FY

So where to adopt? Western New York has many local shelters, including West Side Cat Rescue, Second Chance Sheltering Network, 716 Paws, Sadie’s Safe Harbor Canine Rescue, or the SPCA. Taking on a rescue has the added bonus of providing an animal in need with a safe home— or even saving a life. “We all have goals for the cats, to make life easier for them,” says Debbie at Buffalo’s Feral Cat Focus, “and help people understand the importance of groups that care for the cats.”

Nancy of West Seneca adopted her dog from the City of Buffalo Animal Shelter. “Melena is a great

The Compeer connection

Its Buffalo chapter provides valuable companionship

BY NANETTE D. MASSEY

In 1973, Bernice Skirbol was in a terrible car accident that necessitated a lengthy hospital stay. While there, Skirbol noted that it was friends who called and visited that kept her head on straight during the whole ordeal and vowed to help others in a similar situation—but without the support. The result was Compeer, an organization that provides volunteers to elderly people and others in need of companionship. Today, the organization has fifty offices in four countries; the Buffalo branch was added in 1985.

Compeer only takes clients referred by mental health professionals. Clients are then matched with a volunteer who has committed to at least four hours a month. That could look like a onehour call once a week, two halfhour calls weekly, a home visit, a stroll through Delaware Park, or an agreed upon time for online gaming in a “clan” for the younger set served by the organization. Through the donation of a generous benefactor, Compeer pairs can now visit the YMCA anytime at no cost.

Compeer boasts some three hundred volunteers in Western New York, a pool that was bolstered, strangely enough, by the coronavirus sequester. When a local news channel piece about the organization

included a plea for more volunteers, Compeer doubled its numbers.

“People were at home and could relate to what it must be like to be home like this all the time,” surmises Buffalo CEO Cheri Alvarez. “It’s a basic human need everyone can relate to coming out of COVID, those feelings of isolation and loneliness, and what it can do to you.” Add a mental health diagnosis and one’s situation becomes even more perilous.

Compeer’s client base includes approximately ninety seniors with whom volunteers play cards, go for a drive, or simply act as “phone buddies.” “It’s important for our community to recognize the contributions made by older adults,” says Alvarez. “We want to refrain

from looking at them as having no value now because maybe their abilities are different and instead shifting that to being grateful and respectful, recognizing that they’re grieving the loss of their partners, their closest friends, their identity, their job, the world as they knew it. That’s a lot of loss. We need to look at how we can support and respect them because the reality is we’re all heading down that road, and you’ll want society to respect and value you just the same.”

Compeer works to take the debasement out of having a mental illness diagnosis. “The more we talk about it, it’s a good thing,” says Alvarez/ “When you don’t talk about it, people who are struggling feel like they can’t get help because there’s

something wrong with them.”

The National Institute of Mental Health estimates twenty percent of adults in our country are walking around with mental health diagnoses of various degrees and severity. According to Alvarez, most people go ten years between an initial incident and an official diagnosis. Earlier intervention could make all the difference in preventing people from reaching crisis stage.

“There’s a stigma that they’ll be judged or looked at differently,” she says. “Especially our older adults who grew up in a generation where you didn’t talk about mental health; that was private. We all have mental health; some of us are just at a different place on the spectrum depending on any given day.”

Compeer clients enjoy a summer cookout. Photos courtesy of Compeer Buffalo

Pairing through Compeer can be a life-changing event, not only for the clients but for volunteers, too. Alvarez hears stories all the time about the joys and benefits of being involved. “It’s beautiful when you see the impact it’s had on them that they didn’t expect,” she says. “That’s the secret turn of events that I love, when a volunteer starts getting tearyeyed and saying how it’s changed them and opened up their world. It’s humans being the best humans they can be and it’s an honor to witness that.”

To become a client or volunteer or to donate resources, visit CompeerBuffalo.org, or call 8833331. FY

Nanette D. Massey is a Buffalobased freelance writer working on her first book in partnership with New York Times best-selling author Dr. Robin DiAngelo.

Compeer boasts more than three hundred volunteers in Western New York.

Silent Book Clubs Community without the chit chat

BY TARA ERWIN

Being an introvert and finding companionship don’t always go hand in hand. By nature, introverts find being with people for long periods can drain energy levels. Large crowds and small talk aren’t their fortes, and they often prefer to keep social circles small. But sometimes even the most introverted introvert craves a community of like-minded individuals—and that’s the beauty of Silent Book Clubs.

From 6:30-7p.m. is scheduled settling in time, where participants take seats, eat, and mingle if desired. Mingling isn’t necessary, but it may become so because of the limited seating. I ended up at a table and another Silent Book Clubber kindly asked if she could take the other chair. We briefly introduced ourselves and talked about what book we were reading, genres we liked, and if we preferred e-readers or actual books (note: there was a variety of each in tow). At 7 p.m. sharp, our host welcomed us and briefly outlined the rules: we’d silently read what we brought for an hour and then at 8 p.m., we could either leave, mingle a bit more, or keep reading until the club ended at 8:30.

Silent Book Clubs aren’t typical meet ups of readers who gather to discuss the merits and themes of a preselected title. In fact, at a Silent Book Club, you can choose any book you want. And as the name suggests, there’s no talking during designated reading times.

When the opportunity presented itself for me to join fellow bookworms in a forced socialization-free environment, I jumped at the chance to head to Comfort Zone Café in Hamburg and check it out. According to the Café’s Facebook page, it’s recommended participants arrive between 6:15-6:30 p.m. if they want to order food or drinks. The café’s menu features sandwiches, soups and salads, which would make for a perfect light dinner if you didn’t have the chance to eat beforehand, as well as coffee, tea, juice, and soda. Even if you’re not placing an order, I still recommend arriving close to 6:30 to grab a seat. By the time Silent Book Club started, the space, which held around thirty people, was mostly filled.

I was skeptical as to how “silent” Silent Book Club would actually be, but after a few minutes of murmurs and rustling as people settled in, you really could hear a pin drop in the space. In today’s busy world filled with deadlines and deliverables, it was bliss to have a solid hour devoted to sipping a hot beverage on a chilly winter night and just be while I read my book.

All too soon, our host announced the silent portion of the evening was over, and I reluctantly came back to reality. There was no pressure as to what to do next. About half the participants left right away, a few opted to keep reading, and I stayed to chat with my tablemate for a few minutes before heading out.

Silent Book Clubs may not exactly be “putting yourself out there” in the traditional sense, but for the introverted and/or shy, they can be perfect for connecting with someone else and establishing a sense of community. After all, companionship can sometimes be simply sharing a space with a person you have something in common with (even if that connection is not wanting to talk!), and Silent Book Clubs fit the bill.

Interested in checking out a Silent Book Club near you? Options abound! While the info below was accurate at press time, call or check venues’ social media pages to confirm dates, times and locations.

Buffalo

Black Rock Books

43 Hamilton St.

Buffalo, New York 14207 331-3487

blackrockbooksbuffalo.com

hello@blackrockbooksbuffalo.com

When: First Sunday of every month, 3 p.m.

Southtowns

Comfort Zone Café

17 Main St. Hamburg, NY 14075 648-5779; comfortzonecafe.com info@comfortzonecafe.com

When: Last Thursday of every month, 7 p.m.

Niagara County

Where and when: a relatively new chapter, Silent Book Club Niagara meets at various venues and dates/times around Niagara County about twice a month. Check Instagram and Facebook pages for information.

If you’re out of town or want to start a new Silent Book Club, there are official (that is, registered through the website) Silent Book

Clubs all over the world. Go to silentbook.club to find a local chapter or learn how to start one. FY

Tara Erwin lives and writes in Western New York.

Love languages

What if you and yours don’t speak the same one?

BY JUDITH A. RUCKI

Even if you think you and your partner communicate well, you can always do it better. That’s where love languages—the way people with different personalities express and understand expressions of love—come in. These languages include words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and giving gifts, according to long-time marriage counselor and Baptist minister Gary Chapman, PhD, author of The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. His book explains that when you learn to recognize these preferences in yourself and your loved ones, you can identify the root of your conflicts, connect more profoundly, and ultimately grow closer.

How do you know what your love language is? Think about how you express affection to your partner or other people you love, including family, friends, or romantic partners. Maybe you’re a hugger, or perhaps you’re someone who performs services, like taking care of chores or running errands your loved one dislikes. Even if you have a mix of love languages, one is usually dominant.

Once you learn your own primary language, as well as a loved one’s, you can create a stronger bond. If the languages don’t match, you can avoid misunderstandings and conflict if you find other ways to communicate.

For example, if your love language is words of affirmation, you may feel incompatible with someone who performs acts of service. When one partner wants to hear, “I love you,” and the other is busy emptying the dishwasher, it’s probably time to check in.

Experiment with some quality time. Make a date to talk about your feelings, needs, and how to

“The key is to learn to speak the language of the other person.”

best express your love for each other. Explore different love languages while paying attention to each other’s perspective. Even if your languages differ, accept your partner’s feelings as being valid.

You may also want to try “speaking” your partner’s language. Maybe you aren’t the “touchy feely” type, but if your partner longs for physical expressions of love, try more hugging, kissing, or initiating romantic encounters.

Chapman tells us when you and your partner share the same love language, you are likely to enjoy a better relationship. He says more important than “speaking the same language” is being on the same page.

“In a marriage, almost never do [both partners] have the same language,” he notes. “The key is to learn to speak the language of the other person.”

Rachael Lloyd, relationship expert at eharmony, agrees. “In an ideal world, a couple’s love languages would match, signifying high compatibility,” she says. “But so long as each person in the relationship is willing to learn each other’s language of the heart, romantic progress can be made.”

If you are wondering about the science behind the five love languages, relationship scientist Dr. Gery Karantzas says, “There is little evidence to support the idea that love languages are ‘a thing,’ or that love languages do much of anything to help improve relationships. “Despite the popularity of the theory of love languages, only a handful of studies have been conducted and reported over the past thirty years,” he says in an article written for Greater Good Magazine. “Research is largely

Flex

inconclusive, although the balance sways more toward refuting rather than endorsing the love languages concept.”

He notes that only two studies have investigated the question of “What does the research say about the link between having a better understanding of your

partner’s love language and higher relationship satisfaction?” Both, he tells us, found that “knowing your partner’s primary love language did not predict relationship satisfaction in the present or into the future.”

Does this mean we should ignore the concept of love languages?

Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, billed as

the Relationship Doctor, says not so fast. In her article “The Myth of Love Languages,” she says the idea of love languages has given us “a desire and ability to talk about what works and what doesn’t work in our relationships.” She suggests three ways you can effectively communicate about your relationship:

• Ask about how you can better support your partner.

• Ask about things you have done recently that your partner found helpful.

• When your partner does something to help you, acknowledge it.

Now go find your love language! FY

Judith A. Rucki is a public relations consultant and freelance writer.

GIVEAWAYS GALORE

Everyone loves great giveaways and winning prizes! At the BIG WECK, Buffalo’s Oldies Station, we have a blast giving away tons of great prizes every day! Do you like concert tickets? BIG WECK has them! How about gift certificates to your favorite restaurants? BIG WECK has those too! BIG WECK even gives away trips to amazing destinations.

It’s so easy to “get in the game!” Download the BIG WECK app and join our free text club, become a part of our email club online, join us on Facebook, or win the old-fashioned way by listening to the radio or with a voice-activated device.

It’s all part of playing a vital role in our fans’ lives and the Buffalo community. Buffalo’s coolest oldies and prizes are found every day at 1230AM, 102.9FM, 100.1FM, and 100.5FM, streaming online, on the app, and listening with Alexa.

Thanks for being a part of the BIG WECK family.

Buddy Shula President /CEO

April 5

USADANCE WNY: Salsa

This month’s session features the band Sol Y Sombra and a salsa dance lesson by Fanny Olaya. All are welcome; snacks provided and beverages available for purchase.

7-10 p.m., Brounshidle VFW Post (3354 Delaware Avenue, Kenmore)

April 13

Live on Five Auction Event 2024

This “big auction of small works” features works by established local artists Muhammad Zaman, Julia Bottoms, Kathleen Sherin, Stick Figure Guy, Buffalo Pothole Bandit, Bill Maggio, and more, plus work by fifty new artists. More than 700 five-by-five-inch pieces are on display through April 12; the event culminates in the auction and fundraiser event on April 13 with starting bids of $25. A free volunteer appreciation and pickup party takes place April 26.

7-11 p.m., Buffalo Arts Studio (Tri-Main Center, 2495 Main Street, Ste. 500; buffaloartsstudio.org, 833-4550)

April 8

Total solar eclipse

On April 8, the total solar eclipse will be viewable from right here in Western New York! Expect lots of visitors, viewing parties, and breathtaking astronomical sights. See the listings below for a sampling of the many education and viewing events and visit buffalospree.com for an experts’ roundtable and reading list.

buffaloeclipse.org

Opens April 27

Go, Dog. Go!

A great one for the grandkids! P.D. Eastman’s classic children’s book comes to life in an exploration of movement, color, and space.

Theatre of Youth (203 Allen Street; theatreofyouth.org; 884-4400)

April 27-28

Buffalo Cherry Blossom Festival

Buffalo’s favorite springtime celebration is back! Visit the website for details.

buffalocherryblossomfestival.org

Live on Five photo by Aitina Fareed-Cooke, Get Fokus’d Productions, Creatives Rebuild New York; Go, Dog. Go! photo courtesy of Theatre of Youth; USADance WNY photo courtesy of USADanceWNY; cherry blossom photo by Stephen Gabris

Opens 27 27-28