The Pulse 9.09 » March 1-7, 2012

the pulse GUIDE TO

March 1-7, 2012

open micS » get out your guitar and play! by chris kelly

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

LOCAL BOY DONE GOOD

AN ILLUSTRATED » SANDY HUFFAKER points LIFE pen at politics, brush at life THE BOWL

MUSIC

arts

screen

node floats world boogie identical errors flame out sensor app wins ‘wtf?’ north mississippi allstars ‘the comedy of errors’at utc ‘ghost rider’ 2 so bad it’s good

2 • The Pulse • march 1-7, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Since 2003

Contents

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative ChattanoogaPulse.com • Facebook.com/ChattanoogaPulse

MARCH 1-7, 2012 • issue no. 9.09

EDITORIAL Publisher Zachary Cooper Creative Director Bill Ramsey Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder • Michael Crumb • John DeVore Brook Evans • Randall Gray • Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib Janis Hashe • Matt Jones • Chris Kelly • D.E. Langley Mike McJunkin • Ernie Paik • Alex Teach Richard Winham Cartoonists Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jesse Reklaw • Tom Tomorrow Photography Josh Lang • Lesha Patterson Interns Britton Catignani • Kinsey Elliott Molly Farrell • Rachel Saunders

ADVERTISING Sales Director Lysa Greer Account Executives David Barry • Rick Leavell

COVER STORY

Who’s Next?

• The Pulse Guide to Open Mics in Chattanooga. Chris Kelly takes a tour through the city’s open mic scene. » 9 LOCAL BOY DONE GOOD

Sandy Huffaker

CONTACT Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com calendar@chattanoogapulse.com Got a stamp? 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402

letters

Please limit letters to 300 words or less. Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity.

the fine print

The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

© 2012 Brewer Media

• Once among the hottest illustrators in New York, Chattanoogan Sandy Huffaker is also a prolific syndicated cartoonist, fine artist and author. » 7 MUSIC

World Boogie is Coming

BREWER MEDIA GROUP President Jim Brewer II

• Richard Winham returns with his now weekly music column and a preview of the North Mississippi Allstars at Track 29. » 12 On the cover: “Still Life with Bear and Bubbas” by Sandy Huffaker

grace

FRANK group INFO HOTLINE:

423.464.4570

GraceFrankGroup.com

URBAN GREEN

Scan this QR code for a virtual tour of all our homes

SOUTHSIDE VILLAGE $230k-$275k

103 Cherokee Blvd

OPEN SUNDAYS 423.756.5700 2-4 PM RENAISSANCE REALTORS

chattanoogapulse.com • march 1-7, 2012 • The Pulse • 3

BOWL

THE GEEK CITY

TALK OF THE NOOG facebook/chattanoogapulse • email: info@chattanoogapulse.com

WTF?

Node makes sense there have been several city-wide initiatives launched to attract entrepreneurs, start-up businesses and industry players to Chattanooga. Gig City is the latest venture, placing the ever-attractive prospect of cold, hard cash right at the fingertips of those looking to move here and start a business or who have technology at the forefront of their effort.

Then there are people here in our own backyard working on ideas, products and technology in various states of development. These are the visionaries Co.Lab brings to the table. This neighborhood collaborative hub provides entrepreneurs with a physical environment for face-to-face interaction and programmed events.

“Will This Float?” is one such program.

During “WTF?” five finalists pitch their ideas in five minutes or less, hoping to convince a panel of judges they have an idea that has what it takes to attract business and thrive in the rough waters of the open marketplace. The winner receives cash and a suite of business services aimed at pushing the idea further to market.

Dr. George Yu was one of the presenters at “Will This Float?,” held Feb. 23. Yu is CEO of Variable Technologies and a visiting professor at UTC. His company has worked with NASA and the Department of Homeland Security, concentrating in the field of sensory technology.

His invention is Node, a cylindrical device about the size

4 • The Pulse • march 1-7, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Visiting UTC professor tops Will This Float? contest with the Node, a sensory app for smart phones. of a roll of quarters. The Node takes advantage of the sensory elements built into smart phones, like the microphone, compass and gyroscope. Mobile applications commonly use these sensors, but what about developing applications that require sensors that aren’t built into the phone?

Creating new sensory devices along with new apps is expensive and time consuming. This is where Node steps in.

The technology is based on the idea of interchangeable modules that attach to the body of the Node. These modules communicate a myriad of data to your smart phone through the Node’s sensory device. Yu plans to launch four modules in the next six months: An infrared thermometer, radiation sensor,

chemical gas sensor and a game controller.

“It fills needs within both the device world and the app world,” Yu says. “The Node collects, processes and distributes data as a physical device and it connects apps that require data in order for them to realize their usefulness.”

The most popular and useful apps in the ever-expanding market connect us with our physical environment in meaningful ways. This is where the Node clearly has a firm foundation. Its versatility is limited only by what can be measured through a sensory device and it communicates the data collection to a device you already carry—your cellular phone.

“Each module that’s devel-

oped has the ability to create it’s own markeplace,” Yu says.

A Kickstarter campaign is currently running through March to fund the manufacturing and marketing of the Node and its first set of modules. Yu is gearing the campaign toward locals who might take an interest in his invention and want to help fund its development.

“I’m interested in local investment primarily, but investments in the Node’s development can come from anyone,” he says.

Impressive, useful and expansive in its application, the Node’s technology was invented in Chattanooga and aims to make the city a smarter, more connected place to be.

—Zachary Cooper

THE ARTS

Allied Arts seeks to raise $1.5M allied arts of greater Chattanooga will begin its 2012 Annual Campaign on Thursday with a celebration at Bessie Smith Cultural Center. The event gets under way at 5 p.m. with refreshments and unique collaborations between local artists and arts organizations.

“We have paired some of our community’s finest artists to collaborate for the first time and we know that their creations will have surprising results,” said Steve Kennedy III, 2012 campaign chair.

Local music will be featured, including the talents of Fletcher Bright, Robin Burk, Lisa Dempsey and JT Kane.

They will perform with the Chattanooga Symphony and Opera, along with visual artist Matt Dutton, spoken word artist Marcus Ellsworth,

dancer Kirsten Hawkins of the Chattanooga Ballet, and others. Each performer will be paired with another, and the collaborations will be revealed at the event. In addition, vocalist Neshawn Calloway will make a special appearance. Artists with 35.85 Guild will lead hands-on arts activities during the event.

The guild is a new Chattanooga organization that offers support services for local artists.

Throughout the four-month campaign, volunteers for Allied Arts will work to raise $1.5 million by asking for support from thousands of individuals and businesses in the greater Chattanooga area.

Since 1969, Allied Arts has raised more than $50 million to support the arts in the city.

—Staff

Editoon

rick baldwin

MYSTIC KRAUT

Astrology, body parts and the art of sauerkraut strange things happen at neighborhood pubs, and the Pickle Barrel on Market Street is no exception. Known more for its eclectic atmosphere and clientele than its food, the Barrel goes to odd (some would say superstitious) lengths in providing authentic pub grub.

Case in point: Sauerkraut, that fermented sour cabbage that completes the classic Reuben sandwich.

Owner Nick Bowers makes his in-house, producing the key ingredient for the Barrel’s signature Reuben under specific, mystical conditions.

Though the bar and restaurant has been open for 30 years, Bowers said they have only been making homemade sauerkraut for the last decade, but it’s a process he doesn’t take lightly.

“Don’t make your kraut when the signs are in the bowels,” Bowers said, recalling his grandmother’s advice. He said his mother never quite understood that expression, but he decided to look into those strange, wise words a little further. Bowers explained that all body parts have astrological signs, so he unearthed a copy of The Old Farmer’s Almanac and began seeking connections between the body, the stars and, well, sauerkraut.

The more he researched, the more Bowers learned about the art and process of making sauerkraut. Besides

the Almanac, another astrological suggestion came from a fellow patron at the Chattanooga Farmer’s Market.

She told Bowers not to make sauerkraut when signs are in the feet.

Research and advice in mind, Bowers examines his Alamanac and determines which days are prime for kraut-making. Through the motions of the moon and the old lady’s omen, Bowers’ kraut is crafted—sans bowels or feet (a very good thing, we think).

But sauerkraut is just one star in the constellation that is the classic Reuben. At the Pickle Barrel, a crisp, buttery crust sets the stage for the rest of the show. Dollops of mustard and Thousand Island dressing flavor the bread before thick slices of corned beef are laid to rest.

Then, and only then, Bowers adds his sweet, crunchy, wellproportioned kraut atop the

beef. The flavor is sealed with melting Swiss cheese.

With a pickle spear on the side, your lunch may linger.

You may even be inspired to make your own sauerkraut.

But do yourself a favor, Bowers adds: “Buy a Farmer’s Almanac.”

—Kinsey Elliott PULSE NEWS

Enter ‘600 Words’ short story contest the pulse’s third annual Short Story Contest, “600 Words,” is seeking entries from local writers. This year’s contest will feature the theme “Chattanooga.” All entries must have some connection (no matter how tenuous) to Chattanooga.

The rules are simple: Sub-

mit your short story of no more than 600 words using the theme ingredient and send via email to creative@ chattanoogapulse.com no later than Thursday, March 22. Please include your full name and contact information.

Entries exceeding 600 words will be eliminated, as will those not containing the theme and entries submitted by Snail Mail. A panel of judges comprised of professional, published authors will judge the contest. The top three stories will be featured in a future issue of The Pulse.

—Staff The Pulse welcomes your letters. Letters must be no longer than 300 words and related to stories published in The Pulse.

Letters may be edited or condensed for clarity and space considerations. Email letters to: creative@chattanoogapulse.com. chattanoogapulse.com • march 1-7, 2012 • The Pulse • 5

On the Beat

alex teach

Swingline Blues i carried a stapler in my car, when i first started The Job. Not for the reason you’re thinking of; sure I used it for wardrobe repair, too, but the real reason I stole it from my sergeant’s desk was to staple my run logs together.

They had room for 20 calls to be listed per sheet and on a busy night in Hixson there would be as many as 18 empty spaces on that form, but that same piece of paper didn’t work in different parts of town. You didn’t leave the office without spare log sheets and overtime carbons any more than you would leave without a pistol and Pepto.

On one call I may be asked to remove my footwear as to not scuff the new imported carpet, and 30 minutes later I may be in the projects considering cutting those same boots off in case the baby cockroaches swarming the dog food bowls had gotten inside them as I walked past.

(The author has just involuntarily shuddered merely thinking about this experience.)

Did I have it bad? Maybe.

It’s not like that now, but that’s because like most good cops I learned to stop trading safety for efficiency and actually began “handling” calls instead of “attending” them. (I’m speaking to a few of you, my eager younger brothers and sisters.)

Then I read articles about the Detroit Police Department, which has in the last 10 years gone from 5,500 officers to 2,800 serving and protecting a population of over 700,000.

So no, I didn’t have it bad af-

6 • The Pulse • march 1-7, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

ter all.

Quick show of hands: Who thinks a rotten shit-box like Detroit laid off nearly half its force because it suddenly got “safer?”

Excellent. Good answers.

Now, if there are any business majors out there, who thinks this really saved money on the long term? OK. How about short term? Again, excellent.

You pass.

Despite your own intelligence, it seems that over the last few years Chattanooga’s leaders (ever visionaries) had apparently been trying to emulate “The Detroit Model” with the same results, and I can’t help but compare it to making sweet love to a Mini Cooper after eating a gross of Tabasco Slim-Jims: Damn amusing at the time, but filled with regret and pain in the end.

No worries. If Detroit were a complete loss we wouldn’t have ever had Kid Rock or Eminem, and if it ever were lost they’ve always got “Weapon X” (aka Ted Nugent) keeping a watchful eye from less than a hundred miles to the west, but who is our “Weapon X?” Who the hell is sitting on Monteagle Mountain watching over us as we improve fuel economy by throwing out the damn steering wheel like our neighbors at the end of I-75?

“

I’m fearful, folks. And I’m not talking about “dropping your keys on the floor of the porn theater and you’re going to have to touch them again” kind of fear; I’m talking the deep-seated “sitting as a guest in the back row of an Abba’s House sermon and you have no other ride home” kind of fear.

I’m fearful, folks. And I’m not talking about “dropping your keys on the floor of the porn theater and you’re going to have to touch them again” kind of fear; I’m talking the deepseated “sitting as a guest in the back row of an Abba’s House sermon and you have no other ride home” kind of fear.

The radio crackles as dispatchers call for cars, and I’m still wearing cheap sunglasses after the sun has gone down, my signal that I should consider trying to eat dinner between (or during) calls. I am passing restaurants, but I suspect the best I’ll do is an oatmeal raisin cookie (or three, who am I kidding) from the desk of the Courtyard

by Marriott I’m en route to.

Thank God for small favors.

I pull into the lot and park in

the space directly in front of the main doors under the covered awning, and toss my shades in the passenger seat. I hear a “chink” sound as I do so and dismiss it quickly, realizing my glasses must have hit the stapler.

It’s been that kind of night … with many more to come.

Alex Teach is a full-time police officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/ alex.teach.

Local Boy Done Good

Sandy Huffaker: An Illustrated Life Sandy Huffaker • Born in 1943 in Chattanooga, graduate of McCallie, University of Alabama; currently lives in Raphine, Va. • Nationally syndicated political cartoonist, illustrator, artist and author whose work has appeared in Time, Newsweek, Sports Illustrated, Businessweek and The New York Times, among many other publications.

• Latest project: Political cartoons, illustrations and fine art for numerous clients.

• Latest book: “Portrait of the Artist as a Young Redneck,” available on amazon.com.

• Website: huffakerart.com

By Bill Ramsey

during one week at the peak of his career as an illustrator, Sandy Huffaker had assignments from Time, Sports Illustrated and Businessweek. He had to turn down a fourth assignment that week from Newsweek. “I just didn’t have time,” says the Chattanooga-born artist during a phone interview from his home in tiny Raphine, Va. The 1970s were the “glory days,” Huffaker says, for himself and a stable of talented illustrators whose work routinely found itself on the covers of the nation’s premier newsmagazines and in the pages of The New York Times. For the better part of that decade, Huffaker was among an elite breed of commercial artists—his hero and fellow Southerner Jack Davis, the legendary Mad Magazine illustrator, among them— working during a remarkable period when art directors routinely turned to illustration to give comic relief to the country’s deeply serious and dark prob-

lems. From civil rights and the women’s movement to Vietnam and Watergate, the gas crisis and inflation to the rise of Jimmy Carter, Huffaker mined a deep well of material ripe for his brand of visual wit and caustic satire.

“All that work has gone away,” Huffaker says, somewhat ruefully. But it was a damn good run and, he says, an era for illustrators that may never come again. It didn’t come easy even then, Huffaker admits, but with changes in technology, the turn towards photography and com»P8

Sandy Huffaker and friend on his Virginia farm. chattanoogapulse.com • march 1-7, 2012 • The Pulse • 7

“

Cartooning was always considered a lowly art, but I knew it could make the leap to fine art if it was done right.

An accomplished painter, Huffaker’s “Still life with Bear and Bubbas” (above) is also the cover of his latest book, “A Portrait of the Artist as Young Redneck.”

puter graphics, art directors adopted new directions and never looked back. “I doubt any artist could expect that kind of work these days,” Huffaker says.

Huffaker’s work and style were a culmination of his years spent as an illustrator and political cartoonist for newspapers in the Deep South. Born in 1943 into a staunchly conservative family, Huffaker says he didn’t have any political leanings until he escaped Chattanooga after six years of military school at McCallie. His talent and inspiration as a cartoonist until then had been drawn from the sometimes subversive Mad Magazine, but it was his experience as an undergraduate at the University of Alabama that awakened the Liberal lurking within. “My father went to Annapolis (the U.S. Naval Academy)” says Huffaker.

“He just didn’t understand.”

Arriving in Tuscaloosa at the height of the civil rights movement with then-Gov. George Wallace defying the federal government’s insistence that Alabama’s state-run universities open their doors to Blacks, Huffaker and his future wife witnessed first-hand the raw racism of Wallace and much of the South as the governor’s tactics became a national disgrace.

Huffaker had seen enough and his political identity began to emerge, but he found his first real job not far away at The Birmingham News, where he cut his teeth as an illustrator on the newspaper, penning illustrations for the daily paper and its Sunday magazine. After two years, Huffaker was determined to leave the South and pined for the big leagues, bright lights and the promise of fame in New York.

He sent his portfolio to Maurice

8 • The Pulse • march 1-7, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Sendak, the legendary “Where The Wild Things Are” illustrator to guage his prospects, and when Sendak replied, “C’mon up, you’ll do all right,” Huffaker wasted no time. “I had a wife and two kids,” Huffaker recalls. “It was the ballsiest move I ever made.”

Timing and talent were on Huffaker’s side. The artist scored two book assignments during his first week in New York that helped him survive the initial shock and boosted his name recognition. Other assignments soon followed and Huffaker took his place among the nation’s most in-demand illustrators.

But New York was not all glamour. His wife was almost raped and the gritty reality of the city forced him to consider a less volatile environment. At the end of the 1960s, Huffaker joined The Raleigh (N.C.) News & Observer as that paper’s first editorial cartoonist. Under Claude Sitton, a former New York Times correspondent, the paper became a government watchdog, earning it the nickname of “The Nuisance and Disturber” from the region’s conservative base. But the experience was transforming for Huffaker. During his three years at the paper, Huffaker says he earned the equivalent of a PhD in politics and civil rights.

Returning to New York via his new home in Princeton, N.J., Huffaker renewed his relationships at magazines and newspapers, quickly gathering assigments for The New York Times “Week in Review” section and Time’s “Americana” page. For the next 15 years, Huffaker’s illustrations appeared almost everyhere—on magazine covers, record albums and books— racking up industry and professional awards and the praise of art directors. “Sandy is one of the heavies in cartooning in America ... his stuff can be devastating,” says former New York Times art director Eric Seidman.

“His understanding of politics is amazing.”

When magazines and newspapers turned away from illustration, and Huffaker’s own creative juices began to ebb, he turned to book illustration and fine art. He wrote two well-received books of his own during the 1980s and illustrated dozens of others before

One of the hottest illustrators in New York in the 1970s, Huffaker’s caricatures and cartoons were in demand and featured on the covers of the nation’s premier magazines.

moving to Santa Fe, N.M., to open his own gallery.

“Cartooning was always considered a lowly art, but I knew it could make the leap to fine art if it was done right,” he says. Despite stellar reviews and shows across the country—including a one-man retrospective at the Hunter Museum in Chattanooga—Huffaker closed his gallery and moved to Virginia to pursue his art and freelance illustration career. “It was the first time I felt I had failed, and it hurt a lot,” he says.

Distanced from politics for some 20 years, Huffaker says the events of 9/11 revived his political cartooning career, which continues to this day. His work is syndicated to hundreds of newspapers and magazines around the world, but he maintains a slower pace, reflecting the calm nature of his life in rural Virginia.

Ever the reluctant Southerner, Huffaker says he has largely come to peace with his home, though Virginia, he says, is South enough and he rarely returns to Chattanooga. In 2009, reconnecting with his Southern roots and humor, he wrote and illustrated “Portrait of the Artist as a Young Redneck,” a tonguein-cheek, slice-of-life tale that is less memoir than a recognition of all he finds palatable about the South.

“I would be one of the people in your series (Local Boy Done Good) who never returns,” Huffaker says, with a laugh. “But a couple of years ago, I was hanging out in a local bar with some rednecks. I’d always wanted to write a novel and I missed a lot of things about the South. The book was the result. I guess you could call it less of a novel than a slice of life,” he says.

At 69, Huffaker says he is at peace with most everything, despite the topsy-turvy nature of politics, which may stoke his ire at the drawing board, but not his personal life.

“I liked Obama and figured we were in good hands,” he says.

“He’s been disappointing, but I don’t worry too much anymore.

I’m out in cow country in a beautiful spot with no neighbors, painting and waiting for inspiration. It’s not a bad life.”

PULSE OPEN MIC GUIDE TO CHATTANOOGA

WHO’S NEXT? F

Michael McDade

The Camp House

Enter this popular Southside coffeehouse and you’ll notice the scrumptious, heady aroma of the different coffees that are brewing before stopping at the desk, signing up to play, paying and picking up your voting slip. At the end of each open mic night both audience members and players alike vote for the best performance and one talented player goes home with a little extra gas money. And what an assortment of talent you will see.

Christian Collier presides over the show, usually beginning the evening with original poetry of his own. Hailing from Slidell, La., Collier earned a degree in English from the University of Tampa. He’s been in Chattanooga since the late 1980s and has been emcee for open mic night at Camp House for the last four months.

“I like to keep the operation simple,” Collier said. “We frown upon competing with non-original material here, so it’s almost mandatory to perform original songs, poetry and comedy.”

The Camp House is home to an expansive, roomy stage and well-worn brick walls that surround the entire venue. Various tables, benches, chairs and sofas offer comfortable observation artfully scattered in the

or some, it’s a pulse-pounding, gut-wrenching rite of passage. For others, it’s an opportunity to show off their song, poem or comedy writing passions to determine if audiences will enjoy the fruits of their creativity. Or maybe it’s just a test of nerve; to put yourself in a vulnerable position, in front of a microphone, pouring your heart and soul out in song or spoken word to a room full of strangers.

Whatever the motivation, the open mic is the original “American Idol” forum, a live show judged by a (mostly) random audience designed to showcase new and emerging talent where dreams die hard. But every so often, as the saying goes, a star is born. And the stages at venues that host open mics develop a reputation as a breeding ground for future stars.

In Nashville, The Bluebird Café is the Holy Grail of open mics. This all-original material venue is the real test for Nashville songwriters and perhaps the most famous open mic stage in the nation. The Bluebird has hosted some of the most competitive clientele to be found in the music business. Fred Knobloch, Garth Brooks, John Prine and Vince Gill, to name a few, have all paid dues at the Bluebird.

Some of the greatest country music songs to ever hit the airwaves were debuted there, and you never know who you will find mingling with the songwriters when you stop to grab a bite at the Bluebird.

In Decatur, Ga., Eddy’s Attic has gained much notoriety as a coveted venue for aspiring songwriters. They even step up the game a bit by offering $60 to the winner, but it’s the stage, not the cash that’s the draw. Eddy’s has seen such notables as John Mayer and Sugarland performing on its stage.

Back in rock ‘n’ roll’s 1970s heyday, the legendary Troubadour Nightclub in Los Angeles hosted a swarm of up-and-coming stars on its Monday night open mic festivities. Never knowing which record label representatives would be present, artists like Glenn Frey, Don Henley, Linda Ronstadt and James Taylor would play their hearts out. Bands like The Byrds and The Eagles were born of these gatherings, and the club would make history with the music played within its walls. The Troubadour is still there, still open, still waiting for its next music legend to launch their career from its famed stage.

Most open mic nights start out the same. You sign up, perform in the order in which you arrived, and try to make your sweaty hands cooperate as you finger the fretboard and sing through shaky vocal chords.

Alcohol can help calm those nerves.

But it can also make a bad performance a terrible performance if quaffed in great quantities. Few venues are fiercely competitive; most just serve as a medium for allowing local, aspiring artists to share their talent.

The Scenic City is not without more than a few notable open mic venues, most welcoming artists of all kinds. There may be a shortage of record label execs scouting the next big star at these venues, but there’s no shortage of fun.

And after all, isn’t that what it’s all about?

Can you take the pressure? There’s only one way to find out—check out our list of clubs and venues hosting open mic nights, check your nerves at the door and take the test. There’s nothing to lose and much to gain. Here’s our (selective) tour through the better-known open mic venues in town. We’ve featured the clubs with consistent devotion to the forum, but open mic nights inevitably pop up at most nightspots, so keep your eyes peeled.

GUIDE & PHOTOS BY CHRIS KELLY room. Waiters busily rush back and forth bringing plates and cups to patrons. An excited tension fills the room.

On a recent night, Collier opens with an original poem to the mostly young, intellectual audience before turning the

stage over to poet (and Pulse art critic) Michael Crumb.

Crumb recites a melancholy poem entitled “A Rabbit Con-

Jessica Knowles

templates Sunset.” The audience responds in kind and the music begins.

Jessica Weaver, bent over her Martin guitar, sings original songs penned about the loss of love. Morgan Stanley sings a soulful tune a capella she wrote in the car on the way to the venue. Her voice is loud, confident and harmonious. She’ll be tough to beat. Other acts are equally intimidating, ranging from (sometimes frantic and emotional) spoken word over a strummed guitar to Dylanesque performances from a flannel-clad duo.

“For the price of a foot-long Subway sandwich you can come in here and listen to some quality acts,” said Collier. It’s a very inexpensive way to see some of the best talent Chattanooga has to offer.”

Besides coffee, The Camp House offers a nice but small assortment of import beers.

You can also bring your own wine and sip your favorite vintage while listening to the performers.

The Camp House is located at 1427 Williams St. Open mic night is every Tuesday from 7:30 to 10 p.m. For more information call (423) 702-8081 or visit thecamphouse.com. »P10

chattanoogapulse.com • march 1-7, 2012 • The Pulse • 9

put your heart into your music and make it meaningful, according to Holder.

“We don’t care what kind of material it is,” he said.

“The crowd will let you know if they don’t want to hear your music.”

The Office is located at 901 Carter St. Open mic begins at 9 p.m. On Thursdays. For more information, call (423) 634-9191.

FRIDAY 3/2 SOUL SURVIVOR 9 pm

SATURDAY 3/3 SOUL SURVIVOR 9 pm

SUN SUNDAY 3/4 HAPPY HOUR ALL DAY! MONDAY 3/5 RICK RUSHING 7 pm

TUESDAY 3/6 $1000 SUGAR’S S STAR KARAOKE SEMI-FINALS ★ 8 pm ★ $2 Sangria ★

WEDNESDAY 3/7 DAN SHEFFIELD 7:30 pm

THURSDAY 3/8 THURSD THURSDAY NIGHT FEVER with DJ BARRY DISCO-FOOD-DRINKS-PRIZES

7-11 pm

the audience to the wild west of yesteryear. Influenced by artists like Alanis Morissette, Shawn Colvin and Tracy Chapman, Knowles played a set filled with bountiful emotion.

The Tremont Tavern is located at 1203 Hixson Pike.

Open mic nights begin at 9 p.m. on Tuesdays. For more information call (423) 2661996 or visit tremonttavern. com.

Raw Sushi Bar Derrick Keeton

The Office

There’s a lot of talent in this tiny, smoke-filled room hidden inconspicuously behind The City Café Diner in the Days Inn hotel on the edge of downtown. From Hip-Hop to Delta blues to the sweet strains of country, a plethora of music can be heard resonating from the tiny stage. In these comfortable yet cramped confines, it’s almost like entertainers are not on stage at all, but playing as part of the audience. It gives the term “intimate” a whole new meaning.

Mark “Porkchop” Holder, a talented Delta Blues guitarist and somewhat of a local institution, presides over the weekly open mic here. A Tennessee native raised on traditional southern gospel, he’s a real music veteran who has toured Europe half a dozen times and performed in all the contiguous 48 states.

Dressed the part, Mark is clad in overalls and a white T-shirt. A genuine person, he is easy to talk to. “People that come to The Office are experiencing real communication from one human being to another,” he said. “This is reality in here. Everything else is just an abstraction. If you really want to develop your art, you’re gonna have to play in front of people.”

The Office has a liberal policy for newcomers. Whatever you want to perform is acceptable, original or not.

The only expectation is to

10 • The Pulse • march 1-7, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

This is a relatively new venue for open mic performances. Every Wednesday night from 8 p.m. to midnight, performers hit this sushi bar’s stage with host Michael “Open Mic” McDade overseeing the lineup.

The vibe is laid-back and the stage is open, McDade said.

“At Raw, we keep it a very relaxed venue for open mic performers,” McDade explained. “Anyone who wants to perform music, poetry or comedy has a flexible 15-minute window to do it in a very non-restrictive and non-competitive environment.”

Like The Office, Raw has no established rules for performers. Play whatever you like and give it all you’ve got.

Raw is located at 409 Market St. Open mic night is Wednesday and is now featuring a five-week bass and guitar contest. For more information call (423) 7561919.

Tremont Tavern

Here is another intimate venue that packs in the talent. Again, Chattanooga’s own Michael McDade hosts the show and beams with pride over these Tuesday night shows.

“You never know who will show up on an open mic night at the Tremont Tavern,” he said. “Once a man dressed in a business suit approached me and said he was an orator. For 15 minutes he was on stage talking about the positive aspects of the Republican Party. But on the

Mark “Porkchop” Holder

other hand, with performers coming to play the Tremont from as far away as Alabama and North Carolina, you never know whether or not you’re watching the next Elvis.”

During a recent visit on Valentine’s night, McDade opened the show with a Neil Young number and finished his short set with Bob Dylan’s “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright.” Right on his heels was a young man from Dayton who had never played an open mic gig before. Derrick Keeton sang a couple of original pieces and finished up with Del Shannon’s “Runaway.”

“I sing songs about love but not necessarily love songs,” said performer Jessie Knowles, New York City native who moved to Chattanooga after earning a theater degree from Boston’s Emerson College and a short stint in Los Angeles. Brandishing her black Yamaha guitar, she hit the small stage area and performed two original songs: “Just Friends” and a rather brilliant piece entitled “Walkabout,” which was written using the title as a metaphor for life.

But the real treat came when she sang a cowboy song that truly showed off her vocal range and her talent for that genre. As she warbled and yodeled her way through the song, visions of the prairie came to mind and for a moment, she transported

Other mics

Market Street Tavern (850 Market St.) hosts a singer-songwriter night on Tuesdays at 7 p.m., but you can’t just show up, axe in hand and ready to play. Local musician Jordan Hallquist hosts the showcase with his guests. Songwriters have to book themselves and put on a 45-minute performance for the dinner crowd. For more information, call (423) 6340260 or visit marketstreettavern.com.

Signal Mountain Opry (2501 Fairmount Pike) offers more of an open bluegrass jam than an open mic night at 8 p.m. on Fridays. Musicians need to bring their instrument of choice, express interest in playing, and wait until they are called to the stage. Impromptu jams can erupt out of nowhere and a good time is almost a certainty. For more information call (423) 866-3252.

Vaudeville Cafe (138 Market St.) is the place for open mic comedy on Tuesday nights in Chattanooga. Test out your material in front of a live audience. For more information call (423) 5171839 or visit funnydinner. com.

The Palms at Hamilton (6925 Shallowford Road) features “Sunday Night Live,” an open mic night for singer-songwriters, track artists, covers and originals beginning at 7 p.m. every Sunday. For more information call (423) 499-5055 or visit the palmsathamilton. com.

LIST

THE CALENDAR MARCH 1-7

» pulse picks

THUR03.01 MUSIC

« Badfish: A Tribute to Sublime • Maybe they practice Santeria?

9 p.m. • Track 29 • 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 • track29.co

EVENT “The Glass Dress” An Evening with Karen LaMonte

» pulse pick OF THE LITTER: WEDNESDAY NIGHT

• Creator of the “Reclining Dress Impression with Drapery” shares her work and ideas about art.

6 p.m. • Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View (423) 266-0944 • huntermuseum.org

Just Another All-Girl, Latino, Two-Thirds Lesbian Punk Band San Antonio is a punk rock town. Get past the Alamo, the mariachis and the Tex-Mex veneer and you’ll find a deep history of punk in this sprawling South Texas city. Girl in a Coma is just the latest example. The trio is comprised of sisters Nina (vocals/guitar) and Phanie Diza (drums) and longtime friend, Jenn Alva (bass). Their rise is one of those “too-good-to-be-true” tales. While filming the pilot for the SiTV show “Jammin” in 2006, the girls met musical hero Joan Jett, who subsequently signed the band to her Blackheart Records label. In 2007, the band was summoned by Morrissey to open the latter half of his tour (their name is a reference to The Smith’s song, “Girlfriend in a Coma”), which opened up more opportunities for shows with Frank Black, The Pogues, Tegan and Sara and Social Distortion, among others. In 2008, their song “Clumsy Sky” won the 7th Annual Independent Music Awards Best Punk Song and, in 2010, the girls played before a crowd of 300,000 at the Polish Woodstock (who knew?). For the record, drummer Diaz and bass player Alva are both openly lesbian. The band visit JJ’s on Wednesday, March 7, on the heels of their 10th anniversary concert, held Feb. 21 in San Antonio. Check out the girls’ recent “Tiny Desk Concert” on npr.org for a taste of their sound and check out the show at JJ’s. It’s just another Wednesday night.

Girl in a Coma WED 03.07 • 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. • (423) 266-1400

FRI03.02 MUSIC Megan Jean and the KFB, Subterranean Cirqus, Banditos • Headliner blends avant-garde with Americana.

9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400

EVENT Wide Open Floor • The open mic of performance art.

9 p.m. • Barking Legs Theatre 1307 Dodds Ave. • (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

SAT03.03 MUSIC CSO: “Oz” with the Orchestra • The orchestra plays along with the classic film.

8 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre • 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 • chattanoogasymphony.org

EVENT “Art of the Dogwood” Open House • Beautiful floral art, perfect for spring.

10 a.m. • Shuptrine Fine Art Group 2646 Broad St. • (423) 266-4453 shuptrinefineartgroup.com

SUN03.04 Also on Wednesday, The Features, last seen here on New Year’s Eve at The Honest Pint, are booked at Rhythm & Brews on a bill with J. Roddy Walston & The Business and The Kingston Springs.

The Features WED 03.07 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

MUSIC California Guitar Trio • Guitars only, from California.

8 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. • rhythm-brews.com

EVENT “The Comedy of Errors” • Slapstick Shakespeare. See feature, Page 15.

7:30 p.m. • UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall • 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601 • utc.edu/music

chattanoogapulse.com • march 1-7, 2012 • The Pulse • 11

Party at the

Music

richard winham

All Week Long!

Mon & tue LIVE DJ

Wii on the Big Screen wednesdays OPEN MIC

5-Week Guitar & Bass Contest

STARTS MARCH 7

thursdays LOCAL LEGENDS

HOUSE PARTY WITH 5 DJS

WEEKEND PARTY ZONE!

FRI $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH

PATRICK SCOTT BAND

sat $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH

STEVIE MOUNCE Party on Two Floors!

1st Floor: Live Music • 2nd Floor: Dancing

Raw Sushi Bar

Restaurant & Nightclub 409 Market Street •423.756.1919

World Boogie is Coming world boogie is back. the north mississippi allstars are coming to Track 29 this Saturday, March 3. Guitarist Luther Dickinson, his brother Cody and their buddy, bass player Chris Chew, grew up steeped in the blues. Luther and Cody’s father, the legendary Memphis-based pianist and producer, Jim Dickinson, baptized them in the blues when they were very young.

Dickinson was mentored by Sam Phillips, the pioneering producer and owner of Sun Records. Long before Phillips took Elvis Presley into his studio, he’d recorded a number of local bluesmen, including Howlin’ Wolf. Phillips loved the blues, but in the early 1950s few outside the Black community listened. Presley helped change all that, of course, and by the early ’60s when Dickinson was coming of age, hip white boys were discovering the blues.

Young college kids were looking for the long-forgotten progenitors of pre-war country blues—one of whom was the guitarist John Fahey. He sent a general delivery letter to the post office in Aberdeen, Miss., addressed to “Booker T. Washington White (old blues singer).” Against all odds it found its way to the aging musician, who hadn’t played in

12 • The Pulse • march 1-7, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

20 years. That was in 1962. By 1963, Bukka White had shortened his name and become a celebrated performer at country blues festivals all over the South.

The only problem was that the young, white audiences wanted him to replicate the music he’d played in the 1930s, while Bukka wanted to play rock ‘n’ roll. Being a consummate showman, Bukka met them halfway and began peppering his sets of the old songs with his take on Chuck Berry, Little Richard and the other rock ‘n’ roll pioneers. He called it “World Boogie.” Jim Dick-

inson was a fan and made the old bluesman’s proclamation “World Boogie is Coming” his mantra. For his sons it has become a guiding principle.

As Luther told an interviewer recently, “We’re definitely a product of that collision of white and black culture. “ The Dickinson brothers, like Bukka White, understand that the blues—­like any living thing—needs to be fed to stay alive. An old farmer himself, R. L. Burnside knew that rich soil needs fresh fertilizer.

He applied that same principle to his music. In the late 1990s, Burnside, approaching 80, taught a new generation that the blues could still rule the dance floor. He gave his old-time John Lee Hookerstyle, single-string boogie a new edge with the help of his grandson and a young punk band. Re-energized, he introduced a new generation to rock ‘n’ roll the way Bukka had played it. The North Mississippi Allstars were all ears.

These days a typical set of what Luther calls “electric folk music” adds some sacred steel snap and a dash of psychedelic flash to Burnside’s country blues. Listening to Luther on

stage dueling with his brother’s restless, kinetic drums is a lot like listening to the young Allman Brothers or Clapton’s Cream. But what sets them apart from the legion of young musicians schooled on the music of bands who copied what they heard on the old records is that they learned it straight from the source.

Luther’s slide playing has the energy and the precision of Duane Allman, but within a single song he’ll add a Little Feat shuffle, some ZZ Top glide and a touch of Widespread Panic, as his brother plays a manic counterpoint on the drums. Cody Dickinson doesn’t play backup; he plays against his brother pushing him to play harder and faster as the set progresses.

Underneath it all, the massive Chew’s muscular bass lines anchor Luther’s stratospheric riffing while snaking in and around Cody’s restless drums grounding them both with a sturdy, steady hand.

If you’ve heard the band’s first album, “Shake Hands With Shorty,” you have a handle on their sound. They were very young when they made that album. From the first note it sounds as if “Shorty” had a live wire in his hand making the young musicians shake like men possessed.

Their playing has the breathless brio of young men who’ve found their métier. Reflecting on the record recently, Chew said they were making boys’ music then; now they’re making adult music. The difference is clear in their control and their precision. It still has the same unhinged verve, but the seasoning of 16 years together is apparent in every note.

Richard Winham is the host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years.

Chattanooga Live Thur 03.01 Tommy Emmanuel, The Moanin Sons, Eric Dozier & JB Ecki 7 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Parke Avery, Jillian Edwards, Emily Heard 8 p.m.

The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Sweet G.A. Brown, Get Hot or Go Home, James Legg 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Richie Owens and the Farm Bureau, The Corduroy Road and John Truitt 9 p.m.

The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Badfish: A Tribute to Sublime 9 p.m.

Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co Bryan Hensley & the Wild Kind 10 p.m.

Sluggo’s North, 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224

Fri 03.02 College Band Night 7:30 p.m.

The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Channing Wilson 8 p.m.

Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Megan Jean & the KFB, Subterranean Cirqus, Banditos

2012 McKay’s Road to Nightfall lineup announced Last week, Jonathan Sussman of Chattanooga Presents announced the bands who will compete over five nights for a coveted headlining Nightfall slot. The battle of the bands-style competition takes place over five nights at Rhythm & Brews, culminating in a final showdown on Wednesday, March 29.

Audience favorites will advance each night with the four top bands competing during the finals. The winner will

9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Savoy 9 p.m.

Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co Soul Survivor 9 p.m.

Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Mark Holder 9 p.m.

The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Mad River Rising 9 p.m.

Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730 southsidesaloonandbistro.com Patrick Scott 10 p.m.

Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Hank 3: Hellbilly, Attention Deficit Domination & 3 Bar Ranch

be chosen by a panel of judges. Shows are $5 at the door and begin at 8 p.m. each night. For more information visit McKay’s Road to Nightfall on Facebook.

Wednesday, March 14 Ashley & the X’s Jordan Hallquist & the Outfit Soul Mechanic Strung Like a Horse The Hearts in Light Thursday, March 15 Blues Hammer Band Long Gone Darlings

10 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Westbound Rangers 10 p.m.

Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Jordan Hallquist 10 p.m.

203 Hixson Pike (423) 266-1996 tremonttavern.com

Sat 03.03 The Electric Hearts 9 p.m.

The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Maddie Grace 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Shellshag, Future Virgins, Rowdy Downstairs, The Pharmacy, Daikaiju 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Bryan Jones

Rick Rushing & the Blues Strangers The Hillbilly Sins Uncle Lightnin’ Wednesday, March 21 Dark Horse Ten Josh Gilbert Milele Roots Ryan Oyer Band The Kymera Project Thursday, March 22 Amber Fults & the Ambivalent Lovers Behold the Brave Cadillac Saints Endelouz Planet V

9 p.m.

The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Soul Survivor 9 p.m.

Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com North Mississippi Allstars 9:20 p.m.

Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co Jordan Hallquist & The Outfit, Ryan Oyer 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Stevie Mounce 10 p.m.

Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Roger Alan Wade 10 p.m.

T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 t-boneschattanooga.com nooga.com

Sun 03.04

California Guitar Trio

8 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

Mon 03.05 The Mumbles, Shamblins 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400

Tue 03.06 Rick Rushing 7 p.m.

Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com

Wed 03.07 Train Hits Wagon, Copper into Steel 9 p.m.

The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Girl in a Coma 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Zoogma 9 p.m.

Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co The Features, J Roddy Walston & The Business, The Kingston Springs 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Dan Sheffield 7:30 p.m.

Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

Wednesday • February 29 SoCro • Sam and Tre • Loco

Thursday • March 1

James Legg • Sweet G.A. Brown Get Hot or Go Home

Friday • March 2

Megan Jean and the KFB Subterranean Cirqus • Banditos

Saturday • March 3

Shellshag • Future Virgins Daikaiju • Rowdy Downstairs The Pharmacy

Tuesday • March 6

The Mumbles • Shamblins

Wednesday • March 7 Girl in a Coma

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

Thursday, March 1: 9pm Open Mic with Mark Holder

Friday, March 2: 9pm Mark Holder

Saturday, March 3: 9pm Bryan Jones

Tuesday, March 6: 7pm Server Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Facebook.com/theofficechatt

chattanoogapulse.com • march 1-7, 2012 • The Pulse • 13

Between THE Sleeves Nightly Specials Mon: 50¢ Wings • $3 Yazoo Tues: $1 Tacos • 1/2 Price Margaritas Wed: Wine Night + Live Jazz!

Thur: Burger & Beer Night Sat: $2 Domestics Noon to Midnight

Music Wednesdays Live Jazz with

The Ben Friberg Trio Thursday • March 1 Songwriters Showcase

Jordan Hallquist

with Special Guests Friday • March 2 • 10pm

Westbound Rangers

850 Market Street• 423.634.0260 Facebook.com/marketstreettavern

A Musical Love Letter Shelley Hirsch and Simon Ho “Where Were You Then?”

(Tzadik) in the emotionally draining piece “The Nursing Home,” on the new album “Where Were You Then?” by vocalist Shelley Hirsch and keyboardist Simon Ho, Hirsch recalls the passing of her mother and a key detail afterward— noticing a book of graphic Victorian-era erotic photography on the nightstand by her mother’s deathbed, full of love letters. It’s a perfect example of the kind of detail that makes the album a biting, compelling listen, with Hirsch revealing herself at her most vulnerable moments.

Throughout the album, this susceptibility is seemingly mirrored by recollections of nakedness—a Parisian nude art model friend, a skinny-dipping

E N I W E tIm !

G N I R P S tHE PULSE WINE ISSUE 03.22

Regular Gigs

ERNIE PAIK

partner, her mother being changed by a nurse. Even a middle-aged love interest is afforded a vivid verbal portrait, detailing his sparetire-physique, balding head and scar-speckled skin.

Intensely personal, it’s an album that subtly deals with the question, “Who can I trust?” by relating stories from online dating and betrayal to being blocks away from ground zero on 9/11 and hearing on the news a caller on the 86th floor saying, “The situation seems to be under control.”

The entire album is not heavy and dark, with the ti-

tle track in particular being a euphoric and exhilarating story about attending an outdoor party 40 years ago on psychedelic mushrooms.

Hirsch is on a short list of notable eccentric vocalists with unique, unconventional singing styles (others include Cathy Berberian and Patty Waters) and “Where Were You Then?” features a combination of spoken and sung parts, with Hirsch frequently adding playful and unusual flourishes and slipping seamlessly into various European accents. Her collaborator, the Swiss composer Simon Ho, offers tasteful string arrangements and synthetics to complement Hirsch’s stories, striking a good balance with gentle sonic stimulation. It’s an album to be savored with complete attention, and it’s like a love letter itself, enveloped in the naked truth, if the listener is willing to let her in.

Sound Check wednesday, march 7 • Girl in a Coma, The Features Just another routine Wednesday night in Hipster-Gig City/Rock Town. Indie punk all-girl, part-lesbian San Antonio band visits JJ’s Bohemia. Signed to Joan Jett’s Blackhearts label in 2006, the Girls were handpicked by Morrissey to open the latter half of his 2007 tour (the band’s name is a reference to The Smith’s song “Girlfriend in a Coma”). Across town, The Features, last seen here on New Year’s Eve at The Honest Pint, are booked at Rhythm & Brews on a bill with J. Roddy Walston & The Business and The Kingston Springs. As we said, just another Wednesday night ... in Chattanooga.

See The List » Pick of the Litter for more about Girl in a Coma.

14 • The Pulse • march 1-7, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

FRIDAY, march 9 • Fan Halen After reading reviews of Van Halen’s show in Detroit early in their new tour, we’ve considered coughing up the big bucks for a seat at the band’s April 19 show in Atlanta at Phillips Arena. Easier to part with is the $10 ticket to see Fan Halen: The Ultimate Van Halen Tribute at Rhythm & Brews. These guys pride themselves in their resemblance to the original band (something the reunited Van Halen can’t say, despite the reunion with David Lee Roth; this version lacks bassist Michael Anthony). We’re partial to The Atomic Punks, who’ve been playing the early Van Halen jams for 18 years, so these guys have something to prove. But then again, so does Van Halen.

Thursdays Open Mic: Mark Holder 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Songwriters Showcase: Jordan Hallquist with Special Guests 8 p.m.

Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 • marketstreettavern.com Thursday Night Fever with DJ Barry 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 • sugarsribs.com

Fridays Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 • choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 • thepalmsathamilton.com Bluegrass Night 8 p.m.

The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 • thecamphouse.com amilton.com

Saturdays

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 • choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 • thepalmsathamilton.com

Mondays Live Classical Music 7:30 p.m.

The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 • thecamphouse.com Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 • thepalmsathamilton.com

Tuesdays Open Mic Night 7 p.m.

Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 • funnydinner.com

Wednesdays Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Folk School of Chattanooga Old Time Jam 6:30 p.m.

The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com.

Arts Notes

Arts

Identical Errors of Their Ways

By Janis Hashe

the characters in shakespeare’s “the comedy of Errors” “are a group of people who don’t know who they are and don’t know where they are,” according to Ian Belknap, who directed the version of the play coming to the Patten Performances Series on March 4.

Free First Sunday at The Hunter • Take advantage of the Hunter Museum’s Free First Sunday on March 4, a great opportunity to see the permanent collection and special exhibits. This Sunday, the violin and accordion duo Cricket and Snail performs in the lobby from 1 to 3 p.m.

Sunday also marks your last chance to view “Good Design: Stories from Herman Miller” at the museum, an intriguing look at decorative art and furnishings. If you’ve ever enjoyed the ergonomic comfort of Miller’s Aeron chair (above), don’t miss this behind-the-scenes look at modern design.

The exhibition presents preliminary drawings and sketches, art work, interactive media and concept models as well as original works of decorative art and furnishings.

“Good Design” examines the creation and evolution of many masterpieces of 20th and 21st century contemporary design produced by Herman Miller and designed by such artists as Gilbert Rohde, Ray and Charles Eames, Isamu Noguchi, George Nelson, Robert Probst and others.

Also on display through April 22 is “Dorothea Lange’s America.” The exhibit focuses on the work of legendary documentary photographer Lange, whose “Migrant Mother” and “White Angel Breadline” have become iconic images of Depression America.

In our Jan. 19 review, Pulse art critic Michael Crumb said, “It’s hard to overestimate the importance of either Dorothea Lange’s photography as fine art or its relevance to our contemporary society.”

“They live in a transient world—right up until the very end, when their world finally becomes grounded.”

This is of course perfect for a loopily comic play with not one, but two, sets of identical twins (masters and servants), whose only-in-comedy convergence in the same place at the same time leads to all sorts of mistaken identities and wacky consequences.

Casting two sets of actors who resemble each other perfectly isn’t the point, Belknap said. “The use of twins is a theatrical convention, part of the larger joke. The audience realizes they aren’t really twins, and so they know something the characters don’t.” Practically speaking, he explained, if the “twins” are roughly the same height, costumed identically, and learn to create similar physical gestures, it works.

“Actors love to steal from each other in rehearsal,” he said, laughing. “A lot of it just evolves naturally.”

And these actors have the chops to make the comedy evolve. Belknap is also the associate producing artistic director of The Acting Company, the prestigious touring offshoot of Minneapolis’s Guthrie Theatre that is presenting “Comedy of Errors.” The Acting Company was founded in 1972 by the legendary John Houseman, and has become one of the most famous training grounds for young per-

formers. Kevin Kline, Patti LuPone, Rainn Wilson and Jesse L. Martin are just a few of the top-ranked actors who honed their skill sets touring with the company.

“The Acting Company develops all your classical skills.

First and foremost, our actors must have a deft command of Shakespeare’s verse. The physical skills are shaped by big imaginations and the willingness to take risks,” Belknap said. “What we asked of actors for this show was not circus tricks.” But, he noted, there are references in the production to famously physical comedians, including Charlie Chaplin and Jim Carrey.

“The Comedy of Errors” is a very early play in the Shakespeare canon, possibly even the playwright’s first. Based on the Roman playwright Plautus’s “The Menaechmi,” it’s “a play of firsts,” Belknap said. “It’s the first time we see a Shakespearean storm, which he goes on to use in several other plays; it’s the first time we see his fascination with mistaken identity.” Following its Roman model, the play takes place in one day, which makes it unlike the mature comedies later in Shakespeare’s career. But some characters foreshadow others to come, notably Dr. Pinch, would-be exorcist, who evokes the “Twelfth Night” scene in which Malvolio is tormented

by Feste the clown posing as

Whitney Hudson and Kaliswa Brewster (center) with original company members Elizabeth Stahlmann and Benjamin Rosenbaum in The Acting Company’s production of “The Comedy of Errors.”

“Sir Topas.”

“Dr. Pinch is a bizarre schoolteacher who may be possessed by the devil,” said Belknap. What’s not to love?

Because “Comedy of Errors” is “not as dense a plot” as many of Shakespeare’s plays, and because this version isn’t, as Belknap pointed out “a doublet-and-hose production,” it’s a likely pick for those who aren’t going to sit through four hours of “Hamlet.” “It’s very accessible, with lots of pop culture references,” said Belknap.

Those who love Shakespeare—and even those who have always been on the Bard-

ian fence—should not lose the opportunity to see a very funny play by a very talented man, acted and directed by some of the country’s best theatrical talent.

The Comedy of Errors $15-$22 7:30 p.m.

Sunday, March 4 UTC Fine Arts Center Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4269 utc.edu

chattanoogapulse.com • march 1-7, 2012 • The Pulse • 15

Arts & Entertainment Thur 03.01 The Glass Dress: An Evening with Artist Karen LaMonte 6 p.m.

Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org On Point Annual Dinner 6:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Kerrie Roberts’ “Love Come to Life” 7 p.m.

Ridgedale Baptist Church, 1831 Hickory Valley Rd. (423) 499-0994 Live Team Trivia 7:30 p.m.

T-Bones Sports Cafe, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 chattanoogatrivia.com Cousin Ricky 8 p.m.

The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Fri 03.02 CAMOMC Children’s Consignment Sale Event 10 a.m.

East Ridge Community Center, 1517 Tombras Ave. (423) 867-6406 eastridgetn.org “Brushstrokes and Bracelets” Opening Reception 5 p.m.

In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com Yoga Tune Up 6 p.m.

ClearSpring Yoga, 17 N. Market St. (423) 266-3539.

“Environments” Opening Reception 6:30 p.m.

River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St.

“Brushstrokes and Bracelets” • Opening reception for works by Helen Burton and Mary Clor.

03.02 • In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 • intowngallery.com

(423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com “The Red Velvet Cake War” 7:30 p.m.

Tennessee Valley Theatre, 184 W. Jackson Ave., Spring City (423) 365-7529 “Seussical Jr.” 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Cousin Ricky 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Wide Open Floor 9 p.m.

Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave.

16 • The Pulse • march 1-7, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

(423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Bryan McCree & Kate Brindle 9:30 p.m.

Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

Sat 03.03 Neighborhood Cup Soccer Event 9 a.m.

Highland Park Commons (423) 799-0276 Yoga Tune Up 10 a.m.

ClearSpring Yoga, 17 N. Market St. (423) 266-3539 “Art of the Dogwood” Open House 10 a.m.

Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453

shuptrinefineartgroup.com “Seussical Jr.” 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 5:30 p.m.

Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com Paul Blecher Gospel Concert 6:30 p.m.

Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156 chattanooga.gov AmuseUm 7 p.m.

Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043 cdmfun.org Cousin Ricky 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “The Red Velvet Cake War” 7:30 p.m.

Tennessee Valley Theatre, 184 W. Jackson Ave., Spring City (423) 365-7529 CSO: Oz with the Orchestra 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanooga.gov Ruby Falls Latern Tour 8:30 p.m.

Ruby Falls, 1720 S Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544 rubyfalls.com

Sun 03.04 Yoga Tune Up 10 a.m.

1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Choral Arts Concert 4 p.m.

Saint Paul’s Episcopal Church, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 266-8195 “The Comedy of Errors” 7:30 p.m.

UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601 utc.edu/music

Mon 03.05

“The Comedy of Errors” • Shakespeare classic debuts at UTC. See feature, Page 15.

03.04 • UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hays Hall, 725 Vine St. • (423) 425-4601 utc.edu/music

ClearSpring Yoga, 17 N. Market St. (423) 266-3539.

Free First Sunday Noon Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org “The Red Velvet Cake War” 2 p.m. Tennessee Valley Theatre, 184 W. Jackson Ave., Spring City (423) 365-7529 “Seussical Jr.” 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Open Improv 3 p.m.

Barking Legs Theatre,

“Environments” 10 a.m.

River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com “Brushstrokes and Bracelets” 5 p.m.

In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214 intowngallery.com

Tue 03.06 Heartstrings for Hope Concert 7 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanooga.gov Live Team Trivia 7:30 p.m.

BrewHaus, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 531-8490 chattanoogatrivia.com

Wed 03.07 “Stitches in Time” Quilt Exhibition 10 a.m.

Museum Center at Five Points, 200 Inman St.E., Cleveland

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

Screen

JOHN DEVORE

‘Ghost Rider’ on the Sly

bless me, readers, for i have sinned. i never intended to stray—we sinners never do. My mistake was arriving too early. Had I simply waited a few more minutes, I might have been able to hold out. I bought the right ticket. I planned on watching Liam Neeson struggle against the savages of nature for an a couple hours. I really did, I promise. But “The Grey” still started 30 minutes after my arrival and Butterfinger Bites wait for no man.

To reach the honorable film, I had to walk the length of two halls, past easier opportunities. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish, and I must confess, I wandered. I’m not proud.

I certainly knew better. I knew the first theater to left was the place where story and character go to die. My rules strictly prohibit Nicholas Cage in a heroic role. And yet I found myself inexplicably seated front and center of a film that had no business existing. It’s as if I was drawn in against my will. I made a deliberate decision at the ticket counter. Fate plucked the strings and the vibrations came in the form of “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.”

For those not familiar, “Ghost Rider” is an example of what happens when comic book artists make drunken bets in seedy bars late at night. Johnny Blaze is a former stunt motorcyclist who makes a deal with the devil and becomes possessed by a fallen angel who punishes evil

“

Having seen the film “Adaptation,” I am convinced that Cage can act with the best Hollywood has to offer. The man just can’t seem to choose good films. men by eating their souls. He looks like something you’d see as an example on the wall of a carnival airbrush booth— flaming skull, flaming motorcycle, leather jacket, boots, etc. While this sounds cool, and on paper it looks pretty cool, on film it just looks silly.

The plot involves the devil’s son somehow. Come to think of it, so did the first “Ghost Rider” film. The difference is that this film takes place in Eastern Europe, because, why

the hell not? It’s not like anyone watching this movie is really paying attention. “Ghost Rider” is thrown up against the powers of Hell, to save the world from … you know what?

It doesn’t matter. This film is a contractual obligation.

I can say that partially because of the sarcasm dripping from Nick Cage’s voice over at the beginning of the film. It sounds almost like the filmmakers took the audio from a phone conversation where Cage is reading the script treatment aloud to his wife, full of incredulity and astonishment. His performance is distinctly bi-polar. He swings wildly from detached to histrionic. I found myself laughing uproariously at many of the scenes, enjoying them in spite of the appalling writing.

Having seen the film “Adaptation,” I am convinced that Cage can act with the best Hollywood has to offer. The man just can’t seem to choose good films. If “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” is any indication, there are several respectable actors with the same

problem. Idris Elba (better known to fans of “The Wire” as Stringer Bell) is a major character. Christopher Lambert (“Highlander”) and Anthony Stewart Head (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) both pop up as monks for around seven minutes of combined screen time. Not to mention Ciarian Hinds, who was most recently seen in the Oscar-nominated film “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.” I can’t help but wonder if the filmmakers made their own deal with the devil to make this movie.

Despite all of the things in this movie that makes it truly horrid, I didn’t feel my time was wasted. This was the funniest movie I’ve seen in months. It’s a stretch for me to call it enjoyable, but it was more than watchable because it was such a complete failure from start to finish. And I don’t have to feel bad about rewarding the filmmakers with my money, because I technically bought a ticket for a different film. That might be slightly unethical, but then so was making a “Ghost Rider” sequel. I think I’m just going to call it even.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance Starring Nicolas Cage Rated: PG-13 • 135 min.

Now playing chattanoogapulse.com • march 1-7, 2012 • The Pulse • 17

Food&Drink

DINING OUT CHATTANOOGA

Blacksmith’s: A Chattanooga Classic

By D.E. Langley

blacksmith’s bistro is probably best known for its unique blend of Southern and West Coast cuisines. Situated at the foot of Lookout Mountain in St. Elmo, less than 10 minutes from downtown, Blacksmith’s prides itself on offering “quality food at reasonable prices,” which is a modest understatement. But there’s more to their appeal than their appetizing fare.

Don’t let the delightful patio space fool you—the funky, comforting interior quickly clues you into the fact that Blacksmith’s is, in its owner’s words, “not your momma’s bistro.”

Eclectic decor adorns the walls and draws your eyes to the rear of the space, where the antiquestyle bar occupies the majority of the back wall. Beside the bar, a whiskey menu on the wall informs you of the numerous small-batch varieties offered.

The prominence of the whiskey list clues the discerning patron in to one of the hidden highlights of Blacksmith’s—the bar menu. Alongside the wine list you’d expect to accompany their contemporary cuisine, you’ll find a wide range of bottled beers, craft brews on draft, and a slew of specialty cocktails.

These mixed drinks run from the somewhat familiar, like mango or blackberry Ice Picks, to off-the-wall concoctions you won’t find anywhere else. Take for instance The Dirty South, a martini composed of baconinfused vodka and spiced rum garnished with pickled okra, a cocktail onion and an olive. If that sounds a bit too extreme, The Lookout Mountain might be more up your alley. Jack Daniel’s joins Lemon Chiffon and Devil’s Food Cake flavored

Blacksmith’s Bistro & Bar 3914 St. Elmo Ave. Wednesday-Saturday: 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.

Sunday Brunch: 11 a.m. to 3 p.m.

(423) 702-5461 blacksmithstelmo.com

vodkas for a sweet treat finished with grenadine.

More unique cocktails and drinks are available than those listed on the menu. Other specialties include the Hawaiian Pizza Martini, a mix of baconinfused vodka and pineapple juice, and a popular brunch choice, the Rotten Peach Bellini, with fuses bourbon, peach soda and champagne, comparable to a sweeter mimosa.

Regardless of when you visit,

18 • The Pulse • march 1-7, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

there are drink specials to help wet your whistle. On Wednesdays, draft beers are half price (Buffalo wing-style chicken legs are just 50 cents each).

Bottles of wine are half-off on Thursdays (also, their delicious sliders are just $1 each). Friday nights bring $5 martinis, and Saturdays offer an all-day happy hour. The brunch crowd on Sundays can take advantage of $5 Bloody Marys and $3 mimosas.

Even if you visit for the drinks instead of the food, you should definitely give the menu a glance. After having a couple of their signature cocktails, my stomach was growling, and I had an order of the Fried Chicken Sliders from their Small Plates section. They were fantastic—a crisp, lightly

“

The prominence of the whiskey list clues the discerning patron in to one of the hidden highlights of Blacksmith’s— the bar menu. breaded chicken breast on a soft bun topped with a garlic aioli, a sweet chilli sauce and a dill pickle. The savory and sweet combination was perfect when paired with their baconinfused vodka drinks.

Before I left, I grabbed a bite

of a house-made lemon layer cake, freshly delivered from the kitchen and displayed on the bar to tempt patrons with a sweet tooth. The lemon curd was wonderfully tart and the cake had just enough sugar to offset the sourness of its namesake. It was madly enjoyable, and I was quite tempted to have a second slice, against my better judgement.

Innovative appetizers, decadent burgers, sandwiches of all sorts (including the one and only Chatty Cheese Steak, with pimento cheese), and their “Large Plates” entrees are always more than enough reason to visit Blacksmith’s. The bar menu and lively atmosphere are what put it over the top, and truly make it one of Chattanooga’s “can’t-miss” restaurants.

Comix

NEED EXTRA CASH? CHATTANOOGA’S #1 GOLD BUYER wants to give you MONEY for your jewelry!

Get paid TOP-DOLLAR just like Rick’s thousands of satisfied customers!

WWW.RICKDAVISGOLDANDDIAMONDS.COM

RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS 5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162

chattanoogapulse.com • march 1-7, 2012 • The Pulse • 19

!

G N I R P S e tIm IS e N WI e tIm ComING maRCh 22 WINe WeeK IN the PULSe WIth oUR SPeCIaL SeCtIoN ‘WINe–oh yeS!’ CaLL 242-7693 to aDVeRtISe

Free Will Astrology ARIES

(March 21-April 19): At one point in his book “The Divine Comedy,” the Italian poet Dante is traveling through purgatory on his way to paradise. American poet T.S. Eliot describes the scene: “The people there were inside the flames expurgating their errors and sins. And there was one incident when Dante was talking to an unknown woman in her flame. As she answered Dante’s questions, she had to step out of her flame to talk to him, until at last she was compelled to say to Dante, ‘Would you please hurry up with your questions so I can get on with my burning?’”

I bring this to your attention, Aries, because I love the way you’ve been expurgating your own errors and sins lately. Don’t let anything interfere with your brilliant work. Keep burning till you’re done.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

If you’ve been holding yourself back in any way, Taurus, now’s the time to unlock and unleash yourself. If you have been compromising your high standards or selling yourself short, I hope you will give yourself permission to grow bigger and stronger and brighter. If you’ve been hiding your beauty or hedging your bets or rationing your access to the mother lode, you have officially arrived at the perfect moment to stop that nonsense.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the cult blaxploitation film “The Human Tornado,” the main character Dolemite brags about his prowess. “I chained down thunder and handcuffed lightning!” he raves. “I used an earthquake to mix my milkshake! I eat an avalanche when I want ice cream! I punched a hurricane and made it a breeze!

I swallowed an iceberg and didn’t freeze!” This is the way I want to hear you talk in the coming week, Gemini. Given the current astrological configurations, you have every right to. Furthermore, I think it’ll be healthy for you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

Astrologer Antero Alli theorizes that the placement of the sign Cancer in a person’s chart may

20 • The Pulse • march 1-7, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

indicate what he or she tends to whine about. In his own chart, he says, Cancer rules his ninth house, so he whines about obsolete beliefs and bad education and stale dogmas that cause people to shun firsthand experience as a source of authority. I hereby declare these issues to be supremely honorable reasons for you to whine in the coming week. You also have cosmic permission to complain vociferously about the following: injustices perpetrated by small-minded people; shortsighted thinking that ignores the big picture; and greedy self-interest that disdains the future. On the other hand, you don’t have clearance to whine about crying babies, rude clerks, or traffic jams.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): L.A. Weekly praised the music of drone-noise band Barn Owl. Its review said that the listening experience is “akin to placing your ear against the Dalai Lama’s stomach and catching the sound of his reincarnation juices flowing.” That sounds a bit like what’s ahead for you in the coming week, Leo: getting the lowdown on the inner workings of a benevolent source ... tuning in to the rest of the story that lies behind a seemingly simple, happy tale ... gathering up revelations about the subterranean currents that are always going on beneath the surface of the good life. It’s ultimately all positive, although a bit complicated.

VIRGO (Aug.

23-Sept. 22): In the coming days, you could do a lot to develop a better relationship with darkness. And no, I don’t mean that you should do bad things and seek out negativity and be fascinated with evil. When I use that word “darkness,” I’m referring to confusing mysteries and your own unconscious patterns and the secrets you hide from yourself. I mean the difficult memories and the parts of the world that seem inhospitable to you and the sweet dreams that have lost their way. See what you can do to understand this stuff better, Virgo. Open yourself to the redemptive teachings it has for you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Sister Jessica, a character in Frank Herbert’s Dune books, says, “The greatest and most important problems of life cannot be solved. They can only be outgrown.” I encourage you to use that theory as your operative hypothesis for the foreseeable future. Here are some specific clues about how to proceed: Don’t obsess on your crazy-making dilemma. Instead, concentrate on skillfully doing the pleasurable activities that you do best. Be resolutely faithful to your higher mission and feed your lust for life. Slowly but surely, I think you’ll find that the frustrating impediment will be drained of at least some of its power to lock up your energy.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A few years ago, the Hong Kong company Life Enhance sold briefs and boxer shorts that were supposedly designed by a master practitioner of feng shui. On the front of every garment was an image of a dragon, which the Chinese have traditionally regarded as a lucky symbol. To have this powerful charm in contact with your intimate places increased your vital force—or so the sales rap said. By my estimates, Scorpio, you’re not going to need a boost like that in the coming weeks.

Without any outside aids whatsoever, your lower furnace will be generating intense beams of magical heat. What are you going to do with all that potent mojo? Please don’t use it on trivial matters.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There are times in your life when you do a lot of exploring in the outer world, and other times when your pioneering probes are directed primarily inward. In my astrological opinion, you’re currently more suited for the latter kind of research. If you agree with me, here’s one tack you might want to take: Take an inventory of all your inner voices, noticing both the content of what they say and the tone with which they say it. Some of them may be chatty and others shy; some blaring and others seductive; some nagging and needy and others calm and insightful. Wel-

come all the voices in your head into the spotlight of your alert attention. Ask them to step forward and reveal their agendas.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22Jan. 19): The Oxford English Dictionary, an authority on the state of the English language, adds an average of two new words every day. In the coming weeks, Capricorn, I’d like to see you expand your capacity for self-expression with equal vigor.

According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re due for an upgrade in your vocabulary, your clarity, and your communication skills. Here’s one of the OED’s fresh terms, which would be a good addition to your repertoire: “bouncebackability,” the ability to recover from a setback or to rebound from a loss of momentum.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.

18): We turn to Dr. Seuss for help in formulating your horoscope this week. He told a story of dining in a restaurant with his uncle, who was served a popover, which is a puffy muffin that’s hollow on the inside.

“To eat these things,” said his uncle, “you must exercise great care. You may swallow down what’s solid, but you must spit out the air!” Drawing a lesson from these wise words, Dr. Seuss concluded, “As you partake of the world’s bill of fare, that’s darned good advice to follow.

Do a lot of spitting out the hot air. And be careful what you swallow.” I expect your coming week will be successful, Aquarius, if you apply these principles.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You should be like a rooster, Pisces: dispensing wake-up calls on a regular basis. You should be nudging people to shed their torpor and shake themselves out of their stupor. What’s your personal version of “Cockadoodle-doo!”? It shouldn’t be something generic like “Open your eyes!” or “Stop making excuses!” Come up with attention-grabbing exclamations or signature phrases that no intelligent person can possibly ignore or feel defensive about. For example: “Let’s leap into the vortex and scramble our trances!”?

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

“Dishing on Celebrities”—you’ll eat this up.

Across

1. Dickensian outburst 4. Jeremy Lin’s arena, for short 7. If ___ (when necessary) 13. Tina’s “30 Rock” co-star 15. “Baudolino” author Umberto 16. Not liabilities 17. Bank (on) 18. Lousy, at the Louvre 19. State capital home to the Xcel Energy Center 20. Baked dish made of eggs, cheese, cigarette butts and cocktails?

23. Vodka brand, for short 24. Former Shanghai Shark ___ Ming 25. 1,000 times a “mil” 26. Multipurpose doc, for short 28. Active chemical in cannabis 30. Slip of paper?

33. Seafood dish with butter, served in a bed of NBC News dispatches?

38. Huge ride 39. Masi of “Heroes” 40. From ___ Z (the

whole ball of wax) 41. Stadium cheer 42. Ending for author or weather 43. Sphere in a scepter 44. Fish dish served with lemon and pepper, simmered in pretty hate and dissonant synthesizer lines?

47. Awards, like a slot machine 49. Mountain Dew energy drink 50. Org. with a “100 Years...” series 51. Bone Thugsn-Harmony’s “___ Crossroads” 53. Facebook event of 2012 55. Former Illinois governor, in headlines 59. Dessert served a la mode, while the waiter jabbers about winning a million dollars?

62. 1970s Mocedades hit that translates to “It’s You” 63. “You ___ Here” (mall map phrase) 64. Permeate 65. Keister 66. On the ___ (fleeing) 67. Chicken 68. Key that’s really C 69. Yellowfin tuna

variety 70. Herbert of the “Pink Panther” series

DOWN

1. Root beer brand 2. Native Alaskan 3. Prefix before trope 4. Internet version of a bandwagon fad 5. One of the Spice Girls 6. Foe that looks impossible to defeat 7. Part of CSNY 8. Abbr. on a cornerstone 9. Apparel brand name big in the 1980s 10. Sloth, for example 11. AC measurements 12. Course for intl. students 14. Tidal patterns, e.g.

21. Talk about in an indirect way 22. Partner 27. Neon aquarium fish 29. Peller of the 1980s “Where’s the Beef?”

ads 31. Author Mario 32. Finito 33. Fingerprint pattern 34. Gumbo ingredient 35. Fallout victims?

36. Rent splitter 37. They put up a Ten Most Wanted Fugitives list 45. University city north of Stockholm 46. Realty database site 48. California peak 52. James Lipton interviewee 54. Host with a 276car stunt 56. Bubbling, like hot water 57. Doohickey 58. Naptime, perhaps 59. Upsides 60. Wednesday, figuratively 61. Prefix before sphere 62. Low point

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call.

Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0561. chattanoogapulse.com • march 1-7, 2012 • The Pulse • 21

Life in the Noog

chuck crowder

The Greatest Country on Earth you often hear people refer to america as “the greatest country on Earth.” This honorific is sometimes prefaced by disgust (“Terrorists continue to threaten the greatest country on Earth”), sometimes in triumph, (“Shaun White winning his fourth gold medal just proves once again that we are the greatest country on Earth”). And it’s almost always linked to entitlement, as in “How can the greatest country on Earth not provide affordable health care to its own citizens?” We say it all the time, but how do we know we are truly the greatest country on Earth?

First of all, who besides Americans believes this unsubstantiated claim? Did the United Nations take a vote and determine without a doubt that we are in fact better than everyone else at the table? My guess is that diplomats would vote for their own country—but what do I know?

Is it because of our religious beliefs? Is “one nation, under God” a reference to God blessing our combined union of individual states, or can it be misinterpreted as we are the “one nation” God recognizes? Ask 10 Walmart customers to make that distinction and you’ll be scared to death at the answers.

Is it because everyone wishes they were American? I have several friends in foreign countries.

Not one of them feels slighted about having been born somewhere other than America.

honest music

In fact, most feel fortunate to have a clearer perspective of the world than we do. And none of them claim their own country is any better than any other.

Fact is, I’ve never heard this outrageous claim from those of my friends who are well traveled, either. Maybe it’s because those who’ve experienced other cultures can appreciate the differences, and that they are unique, but not necessarily better or worse. If you’ve had the pleasure of navigating language barriers, foreign cuisine and alternative creature comforts

then you know what I mean.

My first excursion outside of our borders was at age 21 when I took a two-month, 10-country backpacking trip through Europe. When I speak of the trip to European friends now they cringe at the idea that anyone can truly experience 10 different countries in such a short amount of time, but they commend the effort anyway. “At least his venture abroad wasn’t limited to spring break in Cancun,” I can imagine them thinking.

Anyway, among the many people we met on that journey, the Canadian travelers intrigued me because they all sported patches of their country’s flag on their backpacks.

I quickly learned this outward declaration of national pride was in fact intended to help differentiate them from their loud mouthed neighbors to the South—us. Thankfully my friend and I were able to somewhat dispel the horrible stereotypes we Americans are saddled with around the globe by keeping our minds open to new ideas.

I’ve found it’s typically those who haven’t spent much, if any, time outside of the U.S. who feel qualified to believe, and state often, that America is the great-

“

It’s those who haven’t spent much, if any, time outside of the U.S. who feel qualified to state that America is “the greatest country on Earth.” est country on Earth. How do they know? What are they basing this on? Hopefully not Fox News.

We Americans, including myself sometimes, can’t seem to see past our own front porches.

We take pride in Walmart’s low prices even though they’re killing the charm and originality of the small businesses our neighbors own (you know, the ones America was built upon). We’re morbidly obese, on anti-depressants and addicted to at least one unhealthy vice. Our idea of “traveling” is a trip to the Gulf Coast one week a year. And you better be in a pew on Sunday or you’re going to Hell.

We’re scared of new ideas such as making sound invest-

ments in public education and providing free health care to all because it will increase taxes and might just, God forbid, improve the lives of everyone living in “the greatest country on Earth.”

We’re blindly in a rut that could be fixed if we weren’t so stubborn to pay a little attention to the success stories of other countries around the world, some of which are doing “greater” things than “the greatest country on Earth.” I compared notes with a friend in Holland and her family pays about the same as we do in taxes—except they’re actually reimbursed for health care and child care expenses.

Now, before the flood of “loveit-or-leave-it” letters come in, let me leave you with this: Maybe it’s time for us all to open up to some of the same kinds of new ideas “the greatest country on Earth” was founded upon.

Right?

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact and crap he hears people talking about.

Take what you read with a grain of salt, but let it pepper your thoughts.

local and regional shows

The Only Sons with Endelouz ($3)

Wed, Feb 29

9pm

Richie Owens and The Farm Bureau with Corduroy Road and John Truitt ($3)

Thu, Mar 1

9pm

The Electric Hearts ≥ FREE SHOW

Sat, Mar 3

9pm

Train Hits Wagon with Copper into Steel ($3)

Wed, Mar 7

9pm

Live Irish Music following the Irish Session players every Sunday night FREE SHOWS start at 7pm

22 • The Pulse • march 1-7, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint

DINE-IN, DINE-OUT, & CATERING

SANDWICHES, SOUPS, BAKES POTATOES, HOMEMADE DESSERTS Store Hours: Mon – Fri: 11am-8pm, Sat: 11am-4pm, Sun: 11am-3pm

It just doesn’t get any better than GollyWhoppers.

6337 E. Brainerd Rd • Chattanooga • (423) 855-2001

chattanoogapulse.com • march 1-7, 2012 • The Pulse • 23