Feb. 2-8, 2012
the bowl » talk of the noog
ARTS & culture PLAN unveiled
Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative
LOCAL GIRL DONE GOOD
HIXSON TO HOLLYWOOD after a TUMULTUOUS MARRIAGE TO former CHILD STAR DANNY BONADUCE, GRETCHEN BONADUCE FORGES A CAREER AS A REALITY and rock STAR in l.a.
MUSIC
RICHARD WINHAM finds jazz alive and well at barking legs
walk of life
ron ott: arresting artist
SCREEN
secrets of art direction revealed at chatt state
RUSSIAN SPECTACULAR Feb. 2 8 p.m. Tivoli Theater ●
Conductor: Kayoko Dan
●
Guest Artist: Jennifer Koh
Violinist Jennifer Koh joins the CSO for a salute to fantastic Russian music. “Overture to Russlan and Ludmilla” Mikhail Glinka “Violin Concerto No. 2” Sergei Prokofiev “Symphony No. 4” Piotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky 423.267.8583 ● www.chattanoogasymphony.org
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Contents february 2-8, 2012 • issue no. 9.05
COVER STORY
Hixson to Hollywood, Via Partridge
• In our new feature, former Chattanoogan Gretchen Bonaduce pursues fame and fortune as a reality TV and rock star after a tumultuous marriage to former child star Danny “Partridge” Bonaduce. » 8 By Bill Ramsey walk of life
Arresting Artist
letters
• Local artist Ron Ott revives his illustration career (and creates a local media sensation) with his “Chattanooga Mugshots” portrait series. » 7
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MUSIC
Sir Richard’s Reign Begins
• In his debut as The Pulse’s music columnist, Richard Winham finds jazz alive and well at Barking Legs. » 12
© 2012 Brewer Media BREWER MEDIA GROUP President Jim Brewer II
Cover photo: Barbara Porter
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Contents photo: Sherry Lee sherryleephotography.net
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20/20 arts plan unveiled The co-chairs and steering committee of Imagine Chattanooga 20/20 unveiled the city’s arts and culture plan on Tuesday during a celebration and presentation at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre with more than a little fanfare. After a nine-month process, the committee has selected Allied Arts to serve as the guiding force for the plan, approved on Dec. 7, 2011, which covers broad ground and imagines, as expected, a great deal—or “lots of more,” as Allied Arts president Dan Bowers put it during an interview with The Pulse prior to the event. Since March of last year, the committee has been conducting meetings and evaluating input from a wide range of participants from both emerging and established arts and cultural groups, organizations and individuals, wading through sticky stacks of Post-It Notes and incorporating ideas into an outline for
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The plan is not a directive, but a guide. Our challenge is to keep it from landing on a shelf. Dan Bowers Allied Arts
the future of the arts in Chattanooga. What has emerged from that blender has now been handed to Allied Arts, a mission which has given the arts umbrella organization new
focus and purpose as it moves forward to connect the myriad arts and cultural organizations with funding, support and direction. “The plan is a start, not an end,” said Bowers. “It’s more philosophical. There’s not a lot of specifics. The plan is not a directive, but a guide. Our challenge is to keep it from landing on a shelf.” Spearheaded by co-chairs Ruth Holmberg and Tom White, the 20/20 plan reflects its name, Bowers said. “Twenty-twenty is perfect vision, but it’s also about looking forward—and part of it is a dream.” Bowers and Allied Arts communications director Rodney Van Valkenburg touched on numerous ideas the plan seeks to implement or influence— from such broad arenas as economic development, diver»P19
Chattanooga ‘steals’ new library director Corinne Hill from Dallas in sweet coup The Public Library is taking new directions … er, make that new directors. Corinne Hill has been named executive director of the Chattanooga Public Library. After serving as interim director of the Dallas Public Library since July 2010, Hill saw the opportunity for a permanent position and decided to relocate to the Scenic City. She replaces David Clapp, who retired as director on the last day of 2010. Hill’s appointment is a sweet note for what has been an otherwise sour episode in recent library history, and both citizens and city officials have celebrated the decision. Chattanooga Mayor Ron Littlefield said Hill will help Chattanooga explore more e-book usage and Internet »P19
Fundraiser highlights Democrat’s discounted drive Where the Liquor is Cheap & the Entertainment is Free
The hamilton county Democratic Party is shaking up the competition. As they prepare to host their Feb. 18 fundraiser at Olivet Baptist Church, they will take a much different approach than their Republican competitors. U.S. Rep. John Lewis (DGa.) will deliver the keynote address at 6:30 p.m. for the themed fundraiser, “Delivering America’s Promise … Delivering America’s Dream.” Highly regarded as “one of the most courageous persons
4 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 2-8, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
the civil rights movement ever produced,” Lewis will share his thoughts on renewing
Democratic principles for today’s Americans. “He was instrumental on getting voting rights passed in the 1960s,” said Janis Hashe, spokesperson for the Hamilton County Democratic Party. The son of sharecroppers, Lewis’ journey has taken him from rural Alabama to risky Nashville sit-ins, director of the Voter Education Project to a seasoned political career as representative of Georgia’s 5th Congressional District since 1987.
“It’s a convergence of destiny,” said Hashe, who acknowledged that voter fraud is a current concern with Voter Suppression Acts sweeping the nation—all too familiar territory for Lewis. With $10 admission, and meet-and-greets with the congressman set at $100 per couple, the party still hopes to raise between $10,000 and $15,000 during the event. The proceeds will not benefit any one candidate, but instead go »P19
Editoon
rick baldwin
The Mighty 3rd Tenn. 3rd Congressional District Candidates
Filing Deadline: April 5, 2012 Primary Election: Aug. 2, 2012 General Election: Nov. 6, 2012 Chuck Fleischmann Republican incumbent Cash: $617,323 Poll Rank: TFP - No. 3 Chattanoogan - No. 2 Weston Wamp Republican, Son of Zach Cash: $285,141 Poll Rank: TFP - No. 6 Chattanoogan - No. 1 Jean “Lady J” Howard-Hill Republican educator Cash: Unknown Poll Rank: TFP - No. 6 Chattanoogan - No. 4 Ron Bhalla Republican businessman Cash: Unknown Poll Rank: TFP - No. 1 Chattanoogan - N/A Bill Taylor Democratic businessman Cash: Unknown Poll Rank: TFP - No. 2 Chattanoogan - N/A Mary Headrick Democratic physician Cash: Unknown Poll Rank: TFP - No. 4 Chattanoogan - N/A An updated poll in the TFP (which you can find online in the paper’s November 2011 poll archive) includes all 3rd District candidates from both parties. Businessman Ron Bhalla continues to hold onto his lead with 39 percent of the vote. Close on his heels is Democrat Bill Taylor, followed by incumbent Chuck. Surprisingly, new Democratic challenger Mary Headrick has lept to the No. 4 spot. In other news last week, Mayfield milkman millionaire Scottie Mayfield is considering tossing his bow tie into the ring as a possible fifth Republican candidate for the seat. Newly drawn congressional district lines now include Mayfield’s Athens farm, an area that was previously part of the Knoxville-centric 2nd District.
Dizzy Town A blog in print about politics, media & other strange bedfellows
Money Changes Everything DizzyTown is as much a Democrat as the next AllAmerican Chattanoogan. Hell, we still have McGovern stickers on our Volvo—and we still believe in change and Obama (if less than we initially did). But Hamilton County Democrats are Doomed, with a capital D. Truth is, while we don’t adore the crop of current candidates on either side, we give the Dems props for even trying. For even local party leaders must know its over before it’s even begun. As is mostly true, their aim is high, their goals lofty, their sense of right essentially right. What’s wrong is the party’s inability to produce a candidate who can muster as a penny’s worth of enthusiasm. Ten-dollar potluck fundraisers featuring aging
civil-rights figures would be fine if the playing field were anything but a vicious Thunderdome. A low-rent, Atari-level Thunderdome, but a Thunderdome nevertheless. Incumbent Chuck is going to spend a cool million or more to fend off Young Weston and a possible spending spree by The Milkman of Athens. Little if any of that cash will be spent repelling his Democratic opponents. So it’s no surprise that we spend our time, if not our dimes, mulling the Land of the Lost in search of a sympathetic-sounding Republican to cast our lot with. “Stop whining and pick a side,” the Facebook Peanut Gallery tells us. Don’t be so cynical and skeptical, you
Nattering Nabob of Negativity, they routinely repeat to our dart-tossing, cleverif-hardly-subtle asides online. Already weary so early in the year, we find ourselves second-guessing our admittedly partisan leanings. Can we support a Republican? No, not really. But we can’t see a Democratic victory. Not on this budget, not in this district. The South once heavily supported Democrats in national and presidential elections. That tide turned long ago. Now they’ve tilted right, they want it all. Can so many people be so wrong? Sure. But in the high-stakes baccarat game of modern politics, local Democrats can only afford the penny slots. Good luck with that.
EVERY WEEK onlY in
chattanoogapulse.com • february 2-8, 2012 • The Pulse • 5
On the Beat
alex teach
Farewell to a Friend It’s an awkward situation to be in when someone you know passes away. Proximity to the person (both literally and emotionally), the way in which they passed (expected or unexpected) … something so predictable shouldn’t be so complicated. Let me clarify that. As it turns out, we all have a shelf life. Some run like a Duracell, some like the cheap battery that came with your Comcast remote. I was young when I started this job, and at first it didn’t make sense, the randomness of it all, the “unfairness.” The triathlete who is diagnosed with a stage IV cancer never before seen after a lifetime of cardio and bland meals. The obese pedophile who dies on a recliner in his home or a jail cot at age 87. The honest career cop who is killed two years before retirement by a college student who fell asleep at the wheel. I couldn’t wrap my brain around it as an until-then “normal person.” A decade or two later it still doesn’t make a lick of sense, but I have gained the wisdom to realize I can’t do a damn thing about it except in the infinitesimally rare circumstances when I can put my body between life and impending death. Privilege or curse, that circumstance doesn’t present itself very often. I’m just left to act as a Stenog-
rapher for the Dead after the fact. I’m branching off here into a field that will piss some people off for more than one reason, but let me make an inappropriate comparison between cops and angels: As a kid, I read the stories (a word used specifically during my formative years) about beings beholden to God as Christians knew it/Him at His side, yet were tasked with things such as turning cities full of people to salt and the killing of firstborn children, or allowing it to be committed. I remember wondering how such a creature could exist under such a paradox, and I never found an answer until I accidentally became a cop. Tasked with upholding man’s law and held to a higher (aka
“different”) standard, cops are representative of the shining majesty and purity of the State, yet tasked with dealing with the dregs of society. We must answer to the highest authority and live to its highest standards, yet dwell amongst the worst humanity has to offer day after day and remain unaffected in most cases. There is a logical link here, like it or not, and all ego aside, cops, like angels, must do an impossible job. And if we’re no angels (as cops), what are angels themselves? Deep thoughts with no answers so many presidents and portable music formats later. But like most of the questions I have, I don’t really want the answers. Instead, it really is easier just to trudge on and let your gut feelings take care of the rest. We were trained that way for a reason—because it works, as cops and soldiers from decades and centuries past could surely attest. We’re a strange species, human beings. We consume one another, both literally and societally. Cannibals, and unapologetic about it in any form. “Bring Order, but Bring it with Cleanliness.” What complete son-of-abitch would ask such an impos-
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Tasked with upholding man’s law and held to a higher (aka “different”) standard, cops are representative of the shining majesty and purity of the State, yet tasked with dealing with the dregs of society. sible thing? All of us, is the answer. But funny that you could say “the devil is in the details,” then leave the details to the Angels and the Cops … and spooks, and soldiers, and all those charged with our safety. Set up to fail, yet success is demanded. I have no God complex. I fully expect hell to be my destination for the things I have had to do, and I am well aware that neither I, nor anyone I have ever
worked with, is an angel. But the logic applies, and it would be even more cruel to deny that. I take chances with the things I do and, more strangely, with the things that I say publicly. A friend who was only privately able to applaud my words just unexpectedly passed away, hence the introspective blathering. But the thoughts are real, and I would appreciate your feedback, friend or foe. Give it a think and respond to the address at the end of this column. If you choose not to, at least consider what I’m saying. I contemplate such with every breath I draw, every day I live, and so does any real cop, soldier or agent you have ever known or never met, blessed and cursed may they all be. But I don’t think I’ll ever get the answer. And that’s why I’m here, dear reader, asking the same question and expecting different results. Madness, isn’t it? (Rest in Peace, Robert. Yours was a life well lived, and I’ll see you sooner rather than later, I think.) Columnist Alex Teach is a full-time police officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alex.teach.
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Walk of Life
THIS ValenTIne’S Day
Ron Ott: Arresting Artist By Bill Ramsey
LOCAL ARTIST Ron Ott’s “Chattanooga Mugshots,” a growing series of portraits of exactly that— embellished, sometimes highly stylized sketches of the recently arrested culled from the public archives—is quickly becoming a local media sensation. And Ott seems genuinely surprised at the reaction. “I really just wanted to practice drawing,” says Ott in the quiet confines of Pasha Coffee & Tea in St. Elmo, where I recently found him doodling yet another face from the endless supply of characters that inspire the series. “I found the expressions on their faces—the anger, the surprise, the dramatic range of human expression—very interesting. There’s always a story behind the faces, the germ of a deeper narrative.” That narrative drives Ott’s illustrations, which have quickly evolved from pen-andink portraits to often playfully embellished, poster-style pop art in just under two months. After a friend created a Facebook page to feature his work, Ott’s drawings have been featured recently in stories online (in Nooga.com), on the radio (on WUTC-FM’s “Around and About”) and last weekend in the Chattanooga Times Free Press. Other media outlets have been in touch and are planning stories, he tells me as we chat about the series. “I had shelved drawing for about 10 years, just focusing on earning a living,” the 33-yearold graphic designer says. “At the end of last year, I started wanting to draw again and began looking for material to practice.” Ott found his muse in mugshots available in the public domain from the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the same cavalcade of faces seen
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Ron Ott sharpens his drawing skills penning portraits of the accused, a series that has created a local media sensation. weekly in Just Busted, the Red Bank-based publication that draws its raison d’ être from the plentiful well of the recently jailed. Ironically, Ott had not seen Just Busted until recently and found the mugshots on Chattablocks.com, a website created by Ben Huffine that uses public data to create custom maps and reports by city block. “They were just compelling images that begged for artistic representation,” Ott says. His first portrait of Tommy Joe, an accused fugitive, is dated Dec. 12, 2011. The images found their way onto Twitter and then Facebook, where attention and interest quickly snowballed. To date, Ott has added more than 25 faces to the series, which he intends to collect and publish in book form later this year. The renderings have
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evolved just as rapidly, from pen-and-ink sketches to artfully designed poster-style images featuring the accused’s crimes in stylized lettering. Working quickly, the formally trained artist and Vicksburg, Miss., native creates a finished portrait in less than an hour, often working in public spaces such as Pasha. Renovations at his home made working in his studio uncomfortable and Ott says he enjoys interacting with people as he sketches. He carries all his supplies in small, blue metal box and finishes the portraits in Photoshop. The attention has given Ott pause and he is finding notoriety a doubleedged sword. What was once simply
practice, an exercise in honing his skills after years of neglect, has become the subject of scrutiny—from reporters and those who know the subjects, one of whom recently died—and the artist finds himself in the position of having to explain, and in some cases defend his work. “Are they exploitative?” he asks aloud. “I’d like to think they’re more redemptive.” Then there is the inevitable question I refrained from asking, but one he answered during his TFP interview: Were he to be arrested would he render add his own portrait to the series? He told the paper he would, but I can’t imagine he’d be much more surprised than how he appears in the self-portrait he offered me. See Ott’s portraits online at Facebook.com/Chattanooga Mugshots.
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Ron Ott’s self-portrait. chattanoogapulse.com • february 2-8, 2012 • The Pulse • 7
Local Girl Done Good
Hixson to Hollywood
Gretchen Bonaduce stars in life after Partridge By Bill Ramsey
If you have ever dreamed, or at least daydreamed, about becoming a star (and who hasn’t?), there are two direct routes that can hasten your journey: shamelessly audition repeatedly for any and every reality TV show and/or marry a current, former or marginal celebrity of any stripe. Both paths are littered with landmines: The former is a cauldron of indignity, public humiliation and rejection, and you will likely resume your place in obscurity, cursing the competitor who dashed your dreams while you labor in minimumwage drudgery. The latter, too, is almost always a labyrinth paved with all manner of torment and abuse, and you will likely end up little more than a footnote, a mere mention in a dark, smelly corner of Wikipedia or TMZ. If you choose the latter, there is, of course, the against-all-odds chance you may find a way to spin your experience into a jaw-dropping reality television series. You may also further extricate yourself from your co-dependent union, inspiring others while rising, phoenixlike, from the cruel clutches of (insert celebrity spouse’s name here)’s devastating death-spiral to advance your career, realize your dream of fronting your own rock band, and take your rightful place among the ex-wives of Hollywood’s star machine. In this case, you would be Gretchen Bonaduce. Bonaduce, you may recall, is the former wife of child star-turned-radio personality Danny Bonaduce, the wise-cracking middle-child of “Partridge Family” fame who managed to extend his 15 mintues long after its discard-by date. She has starred in or been the subject of many reality shows, but it is for her real-life marriage-meltdown to the problematic Partridge that she is most widely known— the strong but long-suffering martyr to the red-headed man-child with a catalog of disorders and self-destructive tendencies rivaled only by Charlie Sheen.
“Local Girl (or Boy) Done Good” is a new feature that will occasionally appear in The Pulse highlighting Chattanoogans who’ve left the Scenic City and found fame (or infamy), fortune or simply an unusual career or lifestyle elsewhere. “Breaking Bonaduce” ran for two seasons on VH-1 beginning in 2005 and documented (many say exploited) the couple’s efforts to maintain their increasingly unstable marriage amid Danny’s episodic binging, which by then included several stints in rehab for a crack cocaine habit, a snowballing addiction to alcohol and an infamous encounter with a transvestite prostitute in Phoenix, the city where the Bonaduces met and married the same day after a blind date, because Gretchen would not have sex outside of marriage. Despite (or because of) critical backlash, the show was a ratings winner and propelled the Bonaduces into reality TV orbit for two seasons before divorcing in 2007. Why lay your life bare before the camera, I asked? With candid honesty, Gretchen, now 46, admits the show represented a healthy paycheck during a difficult financial period. And while she says she and Danny were oblivious to the fact they were documenting the collapse of their marriage, she also cites the show as an unexpected gift, an opportunity to make a statement on behalf of co-dependent spouses married to addicts who find the strength to leave them. “It was very important to me to do something important and real,” she says.
8 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 2-8, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
Gretchen Bonaduce performs with her band, Ankh, on New Year’s Eve at the Universal CityWalk in Hollywood.
“It was not about recreating or setting anything up—neither Danny nor I realized the show was actually capturing the collapse of our marriage. I truly wanted to do something that made a difference, and I know it did. I received so much mail from women who were in the same boat. To make them feel like they were not alone … that turned out to be very important to me.” These days, Bonaduce fronts the 1980s throwback cover band Ankhesenamen, or Ankh for short, named for King Tut’s
wife (who, ironically, must have suffered some celebrity-spouse angst), and is CEO and star of what could be called Gretchen Inc. Bonaduce spends most of her time promoting her Los Angeles-based band on Facebook; creating, producing and appearing in reality shows; and raising her two children, Isabella, 17, and Dante, 10. Given she is a reality-show staple, little is known about Bonaduce’s own backstory—overshadowed by the dim but still-glowing wattage of her infamous exhusband—which includes a stint living in Chattanooga. Born Gretchen Hillmer in Waukeegan, Ill., her family moved frequently before her father’s work as a nuclear engineer brought him to TVA’s Sequoiah nuclear plant and Hixson, where a teenage Gretchen attended Hixson High School in the early ’80s. In an email interview, I found the busy singer, businesswoman and mother something of a paradox. (Full disclosure: I was a year ahead of Gretchen in high school, but we did not know each other well.) A self-described Christian Republican who supports the troops, God and country, Bonaduce is also a supporter of gay rights and has been photographed in bondage. When not performing with her band, Gretchen reaps the dubious rewards of having been Mrs. Danny Bonaduce on such behind-the-curtain vignettes as “Hollywood Ex-Wives.” She is engaged to marry her drummer, Kevin Starr. Last year she appeared on a panel at Reality Rocks, a fan fest/how-to convention in Los Angeles, alongside reality stars Christopher (“Peter Brady”) Knight and Eric Roberts, actor and brother of Julia, and a former inmate at Dr. Drew Pinsky’s “Celebrity Rehab.” This year, she’s busy booking her band (she hopes to play Riverbend), recording with Jerry Dixon of Warrant, and will appear in “Ex Wives Rock,” a Candian reality show on the Slice network. Possessed of a keen sense of humor and relentlessly optimistic, it’s not difficult to imagine Bonaduce will succeed in any or
all her myriad endeavors. While the former Chattanoogan may have never imagined her future would include marrying a dysfunctional, dual-addicted child star, that path, for better and worse, led her on her current journey—one she embraces without a hint of irony. The Pulse: Your band, Ankhesenamen, appears to be your primary focus at the moment. The makeup and costumes have a punk-meetsnew-wave look and feel, and the music is ’80s covers, but not the typical Top 40 stuff. Tell me about your musical background, experiences and influences. Bonaduce: Right now I am very focused on Ankhhesenamen. I have sung my whole life, including in gospel and varsity choirs at Hixson High, and I also joined my first band in Chattanooga. I think we were called Boys Life, but I preferred to call us the World’s Most Unlikely Band. A motley crew of characters, for sure. I have always been an average singer, but what I lack in range I try to make up for with enthusiasm. I started Ankh because I am old [laughs]. I have been singing these songs for 25 years, so I figured the songs would be the easiest for me to remember [laughs]. Plus, I just love the ’80s so much. Incredible music came out of that era. Growing up in Chattanooga you could sometimes pick up the college radio station in Knoxville, so I listened to bands like Joy Division, U2, The Cult and The Cure before most people had heard of them. I saw my first concerts
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When we met, the radio station (where Bonaduce worked) made him go by “Danny Partridge” when he was 30, which could easily explain his drinking problem! at The Roundhouse and I had my own stool at Yesterday’s. I was a fixture there every weekend (even when I was under age with my fake ID). I think the most embarrassing moment in my life was when my dad called them and told them I was in the establishment and that they better throw me out or he would close them down! You’ve got quite a resume as an element, focus or star of reality shows. Are you producing or appearing in any new shows? I’ve been producing shows since “Breaking Bonaduce.” I was very lucky to have produced two seasons of that show. We declined to do a third season because we thought it would implode our marriage. Now, I wish we would have since it turned out to be inevitable anyway. We brought in “I Know My Kid’s the Next Child Star” as an alternative and we produced that as well. After that, I was cast on a
Danny and Gretchen Bonaduce step out for a Hollywood event circa 2004.
show called “Gimme My Reality Show.” I was up against several celebrities to write, produce and edit my own show. America voted and somehow I won! I never thought I would, since I was competing against people from “American Idol” and “Baywatch.” I didn’t realize I had that kind of fan base. I have several shows optioned by production companies right now, which basically means nothing,
but I keep plugging away. It’s a numbers game. The more you throw against the wall something is bound to stick. Among other things, I understand you have a clothing and fragrance line. You’re a businesswoman, a “personality,” and front-woman for a band. Tell me about “Gretchen, Inc.”—are you cultivating a brand? I wish I was a brand. Right
now the Gretchen “brand” has very little value. I am not doing the clothing or fragrance for the time being. But I actually had very big plans for branding myself and wanted to get a jump on getting everything arranged in case the brand exploded. So far, there’s no explosion. But if it comes I’m ready. I enjoy running and being the focus of my business. But Hollywood is a very young town, so you can’t be the focus forever. As a woman, when you start to age you become less and less relevant in this town. You need a Plan B. I have a Plan C and D as well. It’s undeniable that your marriage and life with Danny changed the course of your life, for better and worse. You were married hours after your first blind date. You must have known who he was. What were you thinking? [Laughs] That is the ageold question, isn’t it? I lived in Germany when I was a kid, so I was never exposed to the “Partridge Family” much. I knew who he was, of course, but I did not understand the magnitude of that show. When we met, the radio station (where Bonaduce worked) made him go by “Danny Partridge” when he was 30, which could easily explain his drinking problem! [laughs] Honestly, having analyzed that question myself on numerous occasions, I think we were two lost souls in search of someone else to save them. Thank God he married me and not some crack whore (which he could easily have done). Let’s face it, any reason to marry someone is »P10
chattanoogapulse.com • february 2-8, 2012 • The Pulse • 9
good as the next. Half of them don’t work out anyway. Eighteen years in Hollywood is like 50 years anywhere else, so I am quite proud of it. But you can’t blame me for getting out. Look what I had to work with—I should have gotten a medal for hanging in for as long as I did! You’ve appeared on reality shows before and after your divorce from Danny. What propelled you to share the intimate details of your life and marriage? And what effect did it have on your children and family? A paycheck would be the honest answer. Plus, do you see how much fun I get to have on TV? Even on “Breaking Bonaduce” we did some pretty cool stuff. Some of the effects on my kids have been negative. I really didn’t think that my daughter could read the horrible things people were saying about us. That is one thing I wish I could take back—to have protected her a little better from the things people said. My son was too young, so I don’t think he
understood at all what people were saying. But I was able to put food on my table. All things considered, there must have been some priceless moments being married to a former child star-turnedradio personality. Yes, there were many many of those. Danny and I traveled the world together, met many amazing people—too many experiences to recount. And for the record, I did not have a crush on David Cassidy. I was more a Donny Osmond kind of girl [laughs]. The emphasis and appeal of such shows as yours and others (“Behind the Music,” “True Hollywood Stories,” “Celebrity Rehab”) plays to the public’s appetite for watching celebrities self-destruct. Last year the public was enthralled by Charlie Sheen. When does reality become surreality and how do you reconcile yourself? I think Charlie Sheen is in a bit of trouble. Charlie, meet Danny. Danny, meet Charlie.
Same guy. I recognize his manic mood swings and bi-polar condition very well. Still, I took a wealth of things away from the show and I don’t regret doing it at all. I think to make a reality show that made a difference is something very valuable and rare. I doubt “The Bachelor” can say that. Danny is remarried and hosting a radio show in Philadelphia. You’re engaged and leading a very active, highprofile life. Looking back, did you ever imagine yourself in the position you’re in right now? I always felt deep down that I was going to do something exciting with my life. I am sure all people think that about themselves, but I am happy that I was right about that. I feel incredibly blessed to have had the opportunities I have had. My life has been anything but boring. You were born in Illinois, but moved to Chattanooga and attended Hixson High School. Tell me a little about
your upbringing, your family and early life. My parents are two of the finest, most incredible people that you could ever meet. You would be hard-pressed to find anyone that would have an unkind thing to say about my mom and dad. My parents are very religious and I think I get all my good qualities from them. They taught me the meaning of kindness, compassion and helping others. They always put themselves last and sacrificed for others. I am glad that I grew up in Hixson, a wonderful place to raise a family. What were your ambitions growing up Gretchen Hillmer? Did you engage with music/entertainment at an early age, and did you perform at all while you were in high school? I wasn’t really that focused on the school part of high school, but I sure embraced the party aspect. The one teacher that made such a difference in my life was Hixson High music and drama teacher Barbara Branch.
She changed my life and was an incredible inspiration. I loved music and was in any choir that I could get into. I also loved the drama club, but learned early on that I am not a great actress. I was cast in every play, but always in a minor role. I did not have the confidence, nor did my teachers, in my abilities to pull off a major role. That has changed—I have more confidence in my little finger now then I did as a teenager. Ankh is making more trips outside Los Angeles. Do you have plans to tour more, and is a Chattanooga or Tennessee show a possibility? We are playing Vegas more and more. I hope that we can do the Riverbend festival one day. I need to redeem myself from my one and only appearance there many years ago. I made quite the ass out of myself trying to play “Born in the USA” on the keyboards. I don’t play the keyboards and am not sure why on earth I thought that would be a good idea. I hope the organizers see this and ask us to come!
On Super Sunday, you bring the spirit. We’ll supply the spirits. Stock up for your Super Bowl Party at Red Bank Wine & Spirits. Red Bank Wine & Spirits • 3849 Dayton Blvd. • Ste. 113 • 423.877.1787 At the corner of Morrison Springs Road and Dayton Boulevard in the Bi-Lo Shopping Center
Coffee & Hand-Crafted Espresso Drinks Pastries, Oatmeal & Bagels
16 Patten Parkway • 423.521.7686 Mon~Fri 6:30am~9pm Sat 7am~9pm • Closed Sunday Ample parking Free before 8am and after 4pm
10 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 2-8, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
LIST
THE CALENDAR
FEB. 2-8
NIGHTFALL
» pulse picks
THUR02.02 MUSIC CSO Masterworks: Russian Spectacular • Kayoko Dan conducts with guest artist Jennifer Koh. 8 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. • (423) 267-8583 chattanoogasymphony.org
FRI02.03 MUSIC
EVENT “Spamalot” • Monty Python fan? Delight! 7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. • (423) 757-5042 chattanoogaonstage.com
• Hip-hop, dance, electro indie rock. 9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400
EVENT Wide Open Floor
» pulse pick OF THE LITTER
• A variety of raw talent. 9 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 • barkinglegs.org
Heat is On for Headlining Spot McKay’s Road To Nightfall competition is on its way and one lucky Chattanooga band will have a chance to be the only local act headlining the concert series this year. The deadline to submit material is Tuesday, Feb. 14. Finalists will be announced on Feb. 21. Bands will then compete in a “battle of the bands”-style elimination show at Rhythm & Brews scheduled for March 14, 15, 21 and 22. Popular vote will determine the winner, who will be announced during final competition on March 29. Nightfall begins May 11. The winner will be selected by a panel of judges and earn a cash prize of $1,000 in addition to the Nightfall slot. Road To Nightfall runners-up will be given the opportunity to open for one of the nationally touring bands in Miller Plaza. To be considered, artists should email a link to their electronic press kit, MySpace. com page or website (where music can be reviewed). Bands who do not have websites or other online locations for their music can mail material to Chattanooga Presents, Attn: Jonathan Susman, 20 Cherry St., Chattanooga, Tenn. 37402. Good luck!
The Destroyers Club: HIB the Bomb, Summer Dregs, John Perry
SAT02.04 MUSIC Matt Flinner Trio • Mandolin wizard and his superb trio. 8 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 • barkinglegs.org
EVENT “The Importance of Being Earnest” • Quintessential Oscar Wilde comedy. 8 p.m. • Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. • (423) 267-8534 • theatrecentre.com
SUN02.05 MUSIC Bob Marley Birthday Bash • Celebrate, mon. 7 p.m. • The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 • thehonestpint.com
Join The Club
EVENT
FRI 02.03 • The Destroyers Club, a Chattanooga artists collective, presents How I Became the Bomb, Summer Dregs and John Perry at JJ’s Bohemia. 9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 thedestroyersclub.com
Give your Valentine Chattanooga on a necklace photos by vince rizzo on tiny sterling picture pendants
“Merchant of Venice” • A modern twist on Shakespeare’s classic. 2 p.m. • Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Road • (423) 493-0270 • jewishchattanooga.com
30 frazier avenue • 266-8010 • open seven days chattanoogapulse.com • february 2-8, 2012 • The Pulse • 11
Music FRIDAY 2/3 BOUNTY HUNTER 9 pm
SATURDAY 2/4 BOUNTY HUNTER 9 pm
SUN SUNDAY 2/5 SUPER BOWL HAPPY HOUR ALL DAY! MONDAY 2/6 MICHAEL MCDADE 7 pm
TUESDAY 2/7 KARAOKE CONTEST $1000 GRAND PRIZE ★ WEEKLY PRIZES ★
WEEKLY QUALIFYING 8PM $2 SANGRIA
WEDNESDAY 2/8 DENNIS BROWN 7:30 pm
THURSDAY 2/9 THURSDAY NIGHT FEVER with DJ BARRY DISCO-FOOD-DRINKS-PRIZES
7-11 pm
richard winham
A Blue Note at Barking Legs There’s never been anything like it in jazz, wrote one reviewer about “Kind of Blue,” the seminal Miles Davis album. Recorded in one take without rehearsals in 1959, it remains an enigmatic, epigrammatic marvel. Inspired by the spare Japanese art form that uses single strokes of black paint to suggest the image, “Kind of Blue” is a collection of tunes that float unfettered by reality. In that one moment the musicians—pianists Bill Evans and Wynton Kelly, saxophonists Cannonball Adderley and John Coltrane, bassist Paul Chambers and drummer Jimmy Cobb—transcended time and space. Coltrane, Evans and Adderley all went on to lead their own stellar ensembles. As, of course, did the ever-restless Miles; but, tellingly, he never revisited this sound. So what was Knoxvillebased trumpeter Vance Thompson thinking when he agreed to put together a band to play this and other tunes associated with the two legendary quintets led by Davis from the late ’50s through the late ’60s. Who knows, but he almost pulled it off at Barking Legs last Saturday night. Thompson put together a wonderfully simpatico quartet—pianist Keith Brown, saxophonist Greg Tardy, bassist Tommy Sauter and drummer Kinah Boto—and opened their set with the sublime “So What” from “Kind Of Blue.” Both Thompson and Tardy are on the music school faculty at the University of Tennessee, but that’s where comparisons end. Thompson plays like someone who has studied the music, but couldn’t quite capture Miles’ quiet fire. The same could not be said of the
12 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 2-8, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
barn-burning Tardy, who follows the advice of an older musician who told him, “It’s better to be felt than to be heard.” The pianist Keith Brown was equally intense. Son of Donald Brown, a pianist with Art Blakey’s Jazz Messengers before joining the faculty at Berklee College in Boston and later UT, Brown played Wynton Kelly to Thompson’s Miles. Like Kelly, Brown’s approach is funkier, more
Vance Thompson (top) and Greg Tardy.
“
It’s long been (Barking Legs owner Bruce Kaplan’s) ambition to bring jazz to the hall on a regular basis, but he’s been skeptical of its appeal ... after Saturday, he’s cautiously optimistic. gospel-rooted than Bill Evans’ cerebral abstractions and brought the three tunes they played from “Kind of Blue” a shade closer to the blues. Tardy is noted for his passion for John Coltrane’s music. He was an aspiring classical clarinetist until he heard Coltrane. On Saturday evening he brought Coltrane’s assertive attack to the music, nicely complementing Brown’s funky drive. Brown tended to modify his style, playing punchy, percussive straight-ahead, hard bop on the tunes from the late ’50s and early ’60s, and on later compositions adding some nice Monk-ish abstractions to his solos. His playing was a deft delight bristling with energy and imagination. The piano at Barking Legs is a vintage Steinway baby grand owned by Bruce Kaplan, the owner of the hall, and has been in his family for a couple of generations. Ac-
cording to family lore, it was originally at Birdland in New York City. Could it be that the ghosts of long gone giants inspired Brown? The show was a huge success for the small venue. Kaplan originally bought the space for his wife to use as a dance studio (hence the name). But by the mid ’90s his deep love for music led him to partner with George Bright in booking acoustic roots musicians such as Norman Blake, Matt Flinner (coming back with his trio on Saturday, Feb. 4) and David Grier. As much as he revels in the sound of that kind of music, Kaplan has an equally deep affection for jazz. It’s long been his ambition to bring jazz to the hall on a regular basis, but he’s been skeptical of its appeal. His soft-spoken diffidence belies his ardor, but he is also a pragmatist and has been reluctant to book musicians who might not draw a crowd. But after seeing the packed house on Saturday night he’s now cautiously optimistic, smiling as he mulled the prospect of the same musicians coming back to play a tribute to Coltrane. According to Thompson, the original concept for the show had been a tribute to Coltrane and Davis. Tardy did play Coltrane’s “Giant Steps,” giving us all a taste of the blistering tour de force to come. I, for one, can’t wait. Richard Winham is host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years. His column will appear regularly in this space.
Chattanooga Live Thur 02.02 Brock Blues Band 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com Dennis Brown & the Project B Band 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Dare Dukes and the Blacksone Collection, Kyle Mackillop, The New Empire 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Gold Plated Gold, Crass Mammoth 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Open Mic: Mark Holder 9 p.m. The Office 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Jill Andrews Band, Lera Lynn
10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com
Fri 02.03 Cody McCarver 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com College Band Night featuring Telemonster, Brock’s Folly, Longley, Chad Caroland 8 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Summer Dregs, How I Became the Bomb, John Perry 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Amber Fults 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260
PULSE PICK Matt Flinner Trio • Mandolin wizard and his superb trio. 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org
marketstreettavern.com Yacht Rock Schooner 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com Husky Burnette 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com
Sat 02.04 Matt Flinner Trio 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs
Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Maddie Grace 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Fastboys, Vaygues, Zippers to Nowhere 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Jordan Hallquist 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191. James Justin & Co. 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Soul Crush, Blues Frog 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com brews.com
Sun 02.05
Bob Marley Birthday Bash 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.
(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com
Tue 02.07 Bryan Hensley & the Wild Kind 7 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd (423) 266-1400
Wed 02.08
Tim Lewis 7 p.m. Barts Lakeshore, 5840 Lake Resort Ter. (423) 870-0777 bartslakeshore.com Head for the Hills, The Shamblins, Dustin Currey 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Johnny Drop Out CD Release Show 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com
Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.
Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com Gentlemen’s Jazz Quartet 8 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Songwriters Showcase: Jordan Hallquist with guests 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market
Long Gone Darlings The Rough & Tumble Thursday • February 2 Dare Dukes and The Blackstone Collection • Kyle MacKillop The New Empires Friday • February 3 Summer Dregs • John Perry How I Became The Bomb Saturday • February 4 Fast Boys • Vaygues Zippers to Nowhere (DJs) Sunday • February 5 JJ’s First Super Bowl Party Tuesday • February 7 Saturine Tales • Bryan Hensley
901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191 Thursday, Feb. 2: 9pm
Regular Gigs Thur 02.02
Wednesday • February 1
Open Mic: Mark Holder Friday, Feb. 3: 9pm
St. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com
Fri 02.03 Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423)756-8253 table2restaurant.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925
Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com amilton.com
Sat 02.04
Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com
amilton.com
Mon 02.06
Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com .com
Tue 02.07
Open Mic Night 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com
Wed 02.08 Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Palms
at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Open Mic Night 7 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Roger Alan Wade 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com
Jonathan Wimpee Saturday, Feb. 4: 9pm
Jordan Hallquist Sunday, Feb. 5
Super Bowl Sunday with Emily
Tuesday, Feb. 7
Server Appreciation Night
$5 Pitchers • $2 Wells • $1.50 Domestics
All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers
Facebook.com/theofficechatt
chattanoogapulse.com • february 2-8, 2012 • The Pulse • 13
Winterfest 2012 PHOTOS BY LESHA PATTERSON
Nightly Specials Mon: 50¢ Wings • $3 Yazoo Tues: $1 Tacos • 1/2 Price Margaritas Wed: Wine Night + Live Jazz! Thur: Burger & Beer Night Sat: $2 Domestics Noon to Midnight
Music
Mondays Mountain Music Wednesdays Live Jazz with
The Ben Friberg Trio Thursday • Feb. 2 Songwriters Showcase
Jordan Hallquist with special guests
Friday • Feb. 3• 10pm Amber Fults (acoustic) Saturday • Feb. 4• 10pm James Justin & Company 850 Market Street• 423.634.0260 Facebook.com/marketstreettavern
Moonlight Bride Hundreds of local music fans converged on Track 29 on Jan. 28 for The Pulse’s first Winterfest concert. The five-band line-up rocked the rafters from 7 p.m. until well into the night and featured soaring performances from Moonlight Bride, The Bohannons, Elk Milk, Behold the Brave and Telemonster. More photos online at ChattanoogaPulse.com.
The Bohannons
Telemonster
Elk Milk
Behold the Brave
MORE PHOTOS ONLINE AT CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
14 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 2-8, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
Between the Sleeves ERNIE PAIK Next-level jazz composer and saxophonist Anthony Braxton has a gigantic, often amazing discography that is not for the timid. One could suggest newcomers dip their toes in the water with his classic jazz tributes. But if you have an open mind and/or like avant-garde jazz, then just jump right in. Conveniently, sibling Italian jazz laAnthony Braxton bels Black Saint and “The Complete Soul Note have just Remastered released a generous eight-CD boxed set Recordings on of Braxton’s albums, Black Saint remastered with ba& Soul Note” sic packaging. And (Black Saint/ while it’s a good samSoul Note) pling of his immense catalog, it would take more than eight discs to really touch all the aspects of his career. Braxton was involved with the Association for the Advancement of Creative Musicians in the late 1960s and released the groundbreaking solo saxophone album “For Alto” in 1970, but this boxed set starts later in his chronology, including recordings from the late ’70s through the mid-’90s. It covers a wide swath of configurations of varying sizes, from the exuberant, free-spirited improvisations with legendary drummer Max Roach on “Birth and Rebirth” to the 17-piece ensemble on the ambitious “Eugene,” an 80-minute 1989 album. While Braxton is known as an academic with often perplexing approaches—most of his compositions have cryptic diagrams instead of names—make no mistake: he’s got ample chops and can swing when it’s called for. Among the four albums featuring various quartets is his 1987 Thelonious Monk tribute, “Six Monk’s Compositions,” on which he demonstrates versatility, tooting with a driven velocity or slinking along in smoky barfly mode. Other quartets feature such diverse talent as drummer Gerry Hemingway, pianist Marilyn Crispell and trombonist George Lewis joining their fearless leader through cycles of synchronicity and scattered bursts. The only album which doesn’t quite work is “Composition No- 173,” a strange multimedia quasi-sci-fi, not-quite-jazz odyssey with actors reciting goofy lines and the whiff of art-theater excess. However, the other seven discs are uniformly excellent, making the boxed set an overwhelming dose of mind-expanding jazz and contributing a few more pieces to Braxton’s unfinished puzzle.
Arts The Art of the Cons
This Winter Season
We’ve Got Your
ticket february 3 • 7 pm student choreography
concert
By Michael Crumb
The poster for the upcoming Con Nooga (Chattanooga’s increasingly popular “other” multi-fandom convention happening Feb. 17-19 at the Chattanooga Choo Choo) features an unusual hybrid image by brothers and Nashville artists Michael and Paul Bielaczyc (pronounced BELA-CHICK). Each contributed a portion of one of their paintings to this cosmic juxtaposition that will welcome con attendees. In the image (pictured here), Paul’s “We Need a Herd” meets Michael’s “It Came From Outer Space,” and the wizard-meetsalien motif conjures the paradoxical retro thrust into the future that characterizes much sci-fi and fantasy these days. The brothers’ work was most recently on display in Chattanooga during Chattacon 37 (held Jan. 20-22 at the Choo Choo). They also appeared in a booth representing Aradani Studios, their own fantasy factory where they construct items such as “elf ears” and customized costumes and as well as commissioned art. During Chattacon, Missy Lindsey, a friend of the Bielaczycs, startled attendees with her intricate rendition of the “Junk Lady” from the film “Labynrith,” which was actually more mobile sculpture than costume, exemplifying the impulse to bring to life imagery from beloved and often iconic fantasies. Unlike Chattacon, where artists display their work in a gallery-like setting, Con Nooga allows artists to present at booths so viewers can meet the creators as they encounter the art. This concentration of fantastic art can be wonderfully heady. Both are excellent events
admIssIon: $5
february 16-18 • 7 pm 7 pm
The brothers Bielaczyc of Nashville and other artists bring fantasic visions of the future and fantasy to Chattanooga’s fan cons. featuring fantastic works of art which engage elements of symbols, icons, characters, motifs and mutants merged into wide-ranging representational play. There emerge innovations of concepts and media— say “Hello” to the mechanical creators—and beauty becomes strangely contextualized and refreshed. Michael Bielaczyc has been showing masks along with oils and inks, at times using an unusual method to cast bronze masks. He also develops video art. Paul works mostly in charcoal and pastel. Some of his subjects are dramatically active, as in the charcoal “Nightmare” and “Murder’s Call,” a print from ink. Still, his pastel “Cosmic Study” brings contemplative depth, suggesting how its simple subject, a night sky of stars, not only contains great energy, but also requires a developed skill in its render-
dIsney’s “tarZan: the musIcal” In Its southeast premIere
reserved seats: $15 general admIssIon: $10 adults • $5 students ing. The Bielaczycs maintain Aradani Studios in Nashville and they show regularly at cons in the capitol. At Chattacon, featured guest artist John Picacio lit up the art show with his dynamic play of bright and dark tones applied to some magnificent projects, including reissues of Michael Moorcock’s significant “Elric of Melniboné” series. Picacio’s renderings of this melancholy sorcerer in both book covers and interior drawings exemplify an artist’s ambition to portray literary concepts at the imaginative frontier. Among numerous other works, Picacio’s cover for Walter M. Miller Jr.’s post-apocalyptic science-fiction novel, “A Canticle for Liebowitz,” fairly shouts at the viewer. One of the genre’s most significant nov-
els, this story is famous for the phrase “Twilight Zone” that lept off the page into the lexicon of sci-fi fans. Chattanooga-area artist Kenneth Waters brought paintings to Chattacon as well, including “Kara” (acrylic) and “High Watch.” Joe Mueller’s “Bomber Girls” series featured pin-ups and bullet holes. Con Nooga Feb. 17-19 Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. connooga.com
call 423-209-5942 for tIckets
original production created by students and staff at center for creative arts. directed by Jason Whitehead. choreography by lindsay fussell. costumes designed by syndey roberts. lighting design by sam fort.
february 24 • 7 pm
Improv
showcase admIssIon: $5
center for creatIve arts 1301 dallas rd • 423.209.5942 centerforcreatIvearts.net
chattanoogapulse.com • february 2-8, 2012 • The Pulse • 15
Arts & Entertainment Thur 02.02 Groundhog Day at the Tennessee Aquarium 11 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 tnaqua.org Chattanooga Boat & Sports Show 3 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 bkproductions.biz “Color!” Open House 5 p.m. Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453 shuptrinefineartgroup.com “African American Art Today” 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org “The Importance of Being Earnest” 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “Monty Python’s Spamalot” 7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave (423) 757-5156 chattanooga.gov CSO Masterworks: Russian Spectacular 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanooga.gov
Eric Foster Comedy Night starring T.C Cope 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com
Fri 02.03 Chattanooga Boat & Sports Show Noon. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 bkproductions “Conversations” Opening Reception 5 p.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com T.C. Cope 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Advance Auto Parts Monster Jam Thunder Nationals 7:30 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, E. 4th Mabel Sts. (423) 266-6627 “Falsettos” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com. CSO Masterworks: Russian Spectacular 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050
chattanooga.gov “The Importance of Being Earnest” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Wide Open Floor 9 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Stand-up Comedy: Mo Alexander and Brad Ellis 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com T.C. Cope 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com
Sat 02.04 Groundhogs, Shadows, & Weather Predictions? 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 tnaqua.org Chattanooga Boat & Sports Show 10 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 bkproductions.biz Wine & Chocolate Noon. Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy. (706) 937-WINE georgiawines.com Mason Jar Terrariums
(423) 643-6050 “Falsettos” 6:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com “Merchant of Venice” 2 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Road (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.org jewishchattanooga.com
Mon 02.06
PULSE PICK “Merchant of Venice” 02.05-06 • Jewish Cultural Center of Chattanooga 5461 N. Terrace Drive • jewishchattanooga.com
1 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 tnaqua.org “Falsettos” 2 p.m. Ensemble Theatre, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com. Advance Auto Parts Monster Jam Thunder Nationals 7:30 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, E. 4th & Mabel Sts. (423) 266-6627 T.C. Cope 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “The Importance of
Being Earnest” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Stand-up Comedy: Mo Alexander and Brad Ellis 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com
Sun 02.05 Chattanooga Boat & Sports Show 11 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 bkproductions.biz Trekking with Tykes at Greenway Farm 1 p.m. Greenway Farms, 5051 Gann Store Road
“Merchant of Venice” 7:30 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Road (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.org
Tue 02.07 Back Row Film Series: “Strangers No More” 6:30 p.m. Bright School, 1950 Hixson Pike (423) 267-8546 brightschool.com
Wed 02.08 Main Street Farmer’s Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. mainstreetfarmersmarket.com
Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.
Summitt Pianos
Grand Opening of our Sheet Music & Method Book Department February 6-17, 2012
Summitt Pianos 6209 Lee Highway (423) 499-0600
Piano Music • Band Music • Teaching, Method & Recital String Music • Bench Pads, Stands, Lamps & More! Register for Teacher Discounts and Open Accounts
SUMMITT PIANOS IS CHATTANOOgA’S SOURCe fOR SHeeT MUSIC & ACCeSSORIeS • LARgeST SeLeCTION 16 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 2-8, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
Screen
JOHN DEVORE
At Chatt State, Students Learn Art of Film Despite being a film critic, I have to admit that I am far from an expert in the process of making a film. I know some of the titles and the general responsibilities of a few of the various technical positions, but I’m really only interested in the final product. The more I learn about the way the sausage is made, the less interested I am in eating it. I need the movie magic to suspend my disbelief. When I see a film, I want to be engaged on an emotional level. I generally only make technical comments if the technical aspects of the film are glaringly obvious. I’m just more interested in story and performance. I am aware, however, that the technical side of filmmaking is just as important—and a much more attainable career path—as the performing side. After all, there is no shortage of promising young actors with starry eyes and naïve souls, nor is there any lack of budding directors with delusions of becoming the next Scorsese. I don’t know that many children who come away from their first movie experience wanting to be a grip. But grips are necessary to filmmaking, as are makeup artists—and electricians and lighting specialists and model makers and designers. The art of movie making is multifaceted and if one wants to learn many of the skills, it usually takes place outside of the film industry. And even if it
Kris Jones teaches art direction as part of Chattanooga State’s film and television program.
doesn’t, students with an interest in the technical side of film may have to travel far to find a good film school. Chattanooga is lucky. Chattanooga State offers classes in film beyond simple theory or history. These are classes with purpose. They are meant to provide support for a burgeoning film industry here in the South. This semester Chatt State has added a new course: art direction.
Kris Jones, the instructor and a member of the Chattanooga Film Society member, is teaching this class as part of the “Advanced Practicum” series of classes in the Professional Film and Television Training Curriculum. “Art direction (or more inclusively, production design) is one of several areas identified as being in particular demand in the film industry both locally and in the growing film industry
in the Southeast,” Jones says. “Film work is being drawn to our area as a result of runaway production—the high costs of labor and resources in L.A. are driving the work eastward and southward. In addition, a pretrained crew base, such as the one we are creating at Chattanooga State, acts to add additional appeal to filming in the area.” The art of art direction is, according to Jones, “the visual design of every aspect of the film: from sets to costumes to props and makeup.” Students studying film and television production at the college learn practical knowledge about the inner workings of a film set. During the art direction course, they learn to use their surroundings as inspiration. “Good art directors use their daily world as their ‘idea book’— gathering sights and sensations from the world around them,” Jones says. “Our students are required to journal their impressions and ideas via photographs and sketches they have created and later apply them to their final project, designs for an actual film script.” Jones says that each of his students works from a classic film script, learning how to break down the scenes into
screen time to decide which sets to build and which locations to scout. “Later in the semester,” he says, “the students will be doing a location scout of the local area to determine where their practical sets could realistically be shot.” Unlike many college-level classes, the film classes at Chattanooga State are decidedly practical. Students in the program learn by hands-on training by experienced instructors. “Not only do I believe students learn better by application, but the film industry is all about practical experience,” Jones says. In addition to basic breakdown, sketching and drafting skills taught in class, each student is placed with one of 63 production companies where they earn a total of 90 internship hours. After successful completion of the internship and the class, they are awarded a certificate from the Southeast Tennessee Film Commission. If the Southeast can bring these production jobs to the area, the impact on Chattanooga could be as powerful as Volkswagen or Amazon. Programs like the Professional Film and Television Training at Chattanooga State are helping to make that a reality.
Extensive Menu
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2213 Hamilton Place Blvd. • Open 7 Days • Sun.-Thurs. 11am-10pm • Fri. & Sat. 11am-11pm (423) 899-5341 chattanoogapulse.com • february 2-8, 2012 • The Pulse • 17
Food&Drink
DINING OUT CHATTANOOGA
McHale’s Brews Good Times, Great Beers
By D.E. Langley • Photos by Josh Lang
Located in a modest building on Ashland Terrace, McHale’s Brewhouse may be one of Chattanooga’s best kept secrets. Operating for just over a year now, they have an impressive selection of beers on draft that you simply can’t find anywhere else. The bartender, tucked behind a raised bar, greets you as you enter. With shamrocks, soccer jerseys and Irish and Scottish flags adorning the place, you get a feel pretty quickly for the vibe they’re going for at McHale’s—unassuming, with an Old World sensibility about what a pub should be. The biggest surprise for me was finding out that they brew their own beers, with up to eight on tap at any given moment. The varieties available truly run the gamut. Looking for something dark to warm up on a cold, wintry day? McHale’s Stout, redolent of the darkest roasted malts, is one option, as is Black Pixie, a cosmopolitan French-style porter with ingredients sourced from around the globe. Hop lovers will enjoy The Apollo, a pale ale which was voted the best in Chattanooga last year, as well as Bloody IPA, one of brewmaster Adam Hale’s
McHale’s Brewhouse and Pub 724 Ashland Terrace (423) 877-2124 Monday to Saturday: 3 p.m. to close Sunday: Noon to close 21+ at all times
first homebrew creations that has successfully transitioned to the taps. McHale’s Light even provides an inhouse option for those more accustomed to drinking domestics. Other offerings are available on a rotating basis, like the just-added Double Brown, which clocks in at 6.3 percent ABV. If you can’t make your mind up just from the descriptions, you can try a sampler of all of them at only a dollar per beer. McHale’s passion for their brew is evident even in their food menu. Beerbattered mushrooms and onion rings? You can believe that their house beer is in that mix. The same holds true for their
18 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 2-8, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
fish and chips, the filets fried crisp in a batter that’s all their own. I suggest trying one of their halfpound, certified Angus burgers. Deciding might take a minute, though—from an open-faced option topped with chili, cheddar cheese and onions, to another with barbecue sauce, bacon, cheddar and onion rings, they are all enticing. The Black and Bleu burger was my choice. Served on a soft, cornmeal-dusted bun, it was thick and hearty, with flavorsome bleu cheese crumbles melted atop. Adorned simply with mayo and fresh, crisp lettuce that contrasted with the cheese, it was a fine example of a burger. The fries that came with it were crisp and well-seasoned, and the spicy pickle spear was a nice flourish. I was very happy that I also tried those beer-battered onion rings. Crunchy and salty on the outside, with thinly sliced onion in the center, they were complemented by a sweet and sharp special sauce. Absolutely fantastic, and, in my humble opinion, exactly what an onion ring should taste like. I washed it all down with a nitrogenpushed Scottish Ale. With its creamy mouthfeel and well-balanced flavors
(leaning slightly towards the malt side), it turned out to be the perfect accompaniment to both of my dinner choices. After my meal, I decided to try another draft, and grabbed a pint of The Apollo. It was just as fantastic (and I can see why it won a competition). Even if you’re not in the mood for dinner, McHale’s is a great spot to relax and enjoy a pint. Not a beer drinker? Not to worry—McHale’s has a full-service bar, as well. Happy hour runs from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. every weekday, with specials on every adult beverage. They’re currently lining up leagues for both pool and darts, and Friday is host to a lively karaoke night. Saturday brings live music into the mix. If you don’t already have plans for St. Patrick’s Day, you should definitely consider spending it at McHale’s—they’ll have special menu items, and you had better believe the green beer won’t be a cheap domestic. McHale’s is a 21-and-older bar, so leave the kids with a sitter and come out to try some of Chattanooga’s best local brews. Whether you’re a beer nerd, burger lover, or just like to have a good time with great company, McHale’s has exactly what you’re looking for.
ARTS PLAN » P4 sity and regional inclusion, to targets of direct impact, such as strategic investment in developing an arts incubator and a quality mid-size performing arts center. More immediately achievable, Bowers said, is the launch of an online community arts calendar that would serve as onestop source for events and activities. “I think that’s something that could happen within the first year,” he said. Intentionally sweeping, the plan casts a wide net and aims high, and hopes to build and expand on the foundations and cor-
nerstones stretching back decades that have brought the city its reputation as an emerging arts haven. “The big ideas that emerged from this process,” said Van Valkenburg, “are identifying our differences, the need for inclusiveness and community involvement. It’s about the arts for all, infrastructure and sustainability.”
The old cultural norms don’t apply, added Bowers. Imagine Chattanooga 20/20 asked, “What can creativity, arts and culture do for our community?” The answer? “We know what arts can do for a community, and this plan represents our common vision.” he said. “Look at cities like Asheville (N.C.). The locals had to appreciate the arts before the city became an arts haven.” Read the plan online at imaginechattanooga2020. org or on its Facebook page. Progress reports will begin in June. —Bill Ramsey
ing more services with less money may quiet some of the backlash in the wake the city’s move to let a longstanding tax agreement expire that left county residents paying to borrow books. Hill’s move to Chattanooga prompted squalls from upset Dallasites,
who accused Dallas leaders of dragging their heels in handing Hill the reigns. It was that “aggonizingly slow” decision process, as one commenter put it, that led her to our fair city. Unfortunate for the Big D, but we couldn’t be happier about her two-steppin’ into town. —Kinsey Elliott
mentioned plus seats close to Fleischmann and Boehner. Wamp broke a district record by raising $250,000 in one night on Dec. 5, 2011, at the home of Alexis and Barry Bogo in Chattanooga. Dubbed the largest single congressional event in Tennessee’s 3rd Congressional District history, Wamp’s supporters paid $500 and $5,000 for the chance to meet and listen to the young son of former U.S. Rep. Zach Wamp. The local Democratic Party wanted to make the event available to anyone wishing to attend, hence
the discounted admission. Hashe said there was much debate over pricing, but the party settled on a “fair price” of $10, which is still a lot of money for some people, she said. “For some people who were too young, or lived in other parts of the country, they may not have had the opportunity to hear someone from that time speak,” Hashe said. “Lewis is living history, and there’s no telling how much more time we will have to hear from these people. Hopefully we will be re-motivated with the passion that drove that generation.” —Kinsey Elliott
Allied Arts president Dan Bowers
Comix
LIBRARY » P4 offerings with her vision of leading the library into the digital age. While in Texas, Hill managed an 11 percent operating budget reduction without reducing staff, maintaining hours at the branches, and increasing materials funding from the previous year. This expertise at offer-
DEMOCRATS » P4 toward the campaign of the Democratic primary victor in August. Republican candidates Chuck Fleischmann and Weston Wamp weren’t as generous with admission to their recent fundraisers as their donors were to their respective campaigns. Fleischmann raised more than $200,000 in two hours with U.S. House Speaker John Boehner as his headliner. With “the face of conservative power in Washington” by his side, guests coughed up $1,000 per couple, another $1,500 for a photo with Boehner and $10,000 for the afore-
chattanoogapulse.com • february 2-8, 2012 • The Pulse • 19
Free Will Astrology ARIES
(March 21-April 19): Sad but true: A lot of people seem to be perpetually in a state of wanting what they don’t have and not wanting what they actually do have. I’m begging you not to be like that in the coming weeks, Aries. Please? I’ll tell you why: More than I’ve seen in a long time, you will have everything going for you if you want precisely what you do have—and are not full of longing for what’s unavailable. Do you think you can you manage that brilliant trick? If so, you will be amazed by the sublimity of the peace that will settle over you.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
Of all the signs of the zodiac, Tauruses are the least likely to be arrogant. Sadly, in a related development, they’re also among the most likely to have low self-esteem. But your tribe now has an excellent opportunity to address the latter problem. Current cosmic rhythms are inviting you rather loudly and dramatically to boost your confidence, even at the risk of you careening into the forbidden realm of arrogance. That’s why I recommend Taurus musician Trent Reznor as your role model. He has no problem summoning feelings of self-worth. As evidence, here’s what he confessed when asked about whether he frequents music social networks: “I don’t care what my friends are listening to. Because I’m cooler than they are.”
GEMINI
(May 21-June 20): “If Mark Twain had had Twitter,” says humorist Andy Borowitz, “he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn’t have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.” I think you’re facing a comparable choice, Gemini. You can either get a lot of little things done that will serve your short-term aims, or else you can at least partially withdraw from the day-to-day give-and-take so as to devote yourself with more focus to a long-range goal. I’m not here to tell you which way to go; I just want to make sure you know the nature of the decision before you.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): You now have a special talent for 20 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 2-8, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
rob brezsny
helping your allies tap into their dormant potentials and latent energy. If you choose to use it, you will also have a knack for snapping lost sheep and fallen angels out of their wasteful trances. There’s a third kind of magic you have in abundance right now, Cancerian, and that’s the ability to coax concealed truths out of their hiding places. Personally, I’m hopeful that you will make lavish use of these gifts. I should mention, however, that some people may resist you. The transformations you could conceivably set in motion with your superpowers might seem alarming to them. So I suggest that you hang out as much as possible with changelovers who like the strong medicine you have to offer.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I stumbled upon an engineering textbook for undergraduates. There was a section on how to do technical writing, as opposed to the literary kind. It quoted a poem by Edgar Allan Poe: “Helen, thy beauty is to me / Like those Nicean barks of yore / That gently, o’er a perfumed sea, / The weary way-worn wanderer bore / To his own native shore.” Then the book gave advice to the student: “To express these ideas in technical writing, we would simply say, ‘He thinks Helen is beautiful.’” Don’t take shortcuts like that, Libra. For the sake of your emotional health and spiritual integrity, you can’t see or treat the world anything like what a technical writer would.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Publishing a volume of poetry is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo,” said author Don Marquis. Something you’re considering, Leo, may seem to fit that description, too. It’s a project or action or gift that you’d feel good about offering, but you also wonder whether it will generate the same buzz as that rose petal floating down into the Grand Canyon. Here’s what I think: To the degree that you shed your attachment to making an impact, you will make the exact impact that matters most. Give yourself without any expectations.
SCORPIO
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Comedian Louis CK told a story about his young daughter. She had a fever, and he gave her some Tylenol that was bubble gum flavored. “Ewwww!” she complained. Louis was exasperated. “You can’t say ‘ewwww,’” he told her. What he meant was that as a white kid in America, she’s among the most privileged characters in the world— certainly far luckier than all the poor children who have no medicine at all, let alone medicine that tastes like candy. I’m going to present a similar argument to you, Virgo. In the large scheme of things, your suffering right now is small. Try to keep your attention on your blessings rather than your discomfort.
in the hands of some other person,” said British writer Quentin Crisp. If you harbor even a small tendency in that direction, Capricorn, I hope that in the coming days you will make a concentrated effort to talk yourself out of it. In my astrological opinion, this is a critical moment in the long-term evolution of your healthy self-sufficiency. For both your own sake and the sake of the people you love, you must find a way to shrink your urge to make them responsible for your well-being.
AQUARIUS
(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Are you ready to start playing in earnest with that riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma? Are you looking forward to the rough and tumble fun that will ensue after you leap into the middle of that sucker and start trying to decipher its impossibly interesting meaning? I hope you are primed and eager, Scorpio. I hope you can’t wait to try to answer the question that seems to have no answer. Be brave and adventurous, my friend—and be intent on having a blast.
(Jan. 20Feb. 18): If you go to California’s Yosemite National Park this month, you might get the chance to witness a reddish gold waterfall. Here’s how: At sunset, gaze up at the sheer east face of the rock formation known as El Capitan. There you will see what seems to be a vertical river of fire, also known as Horsetail Fall. I nominate this marvel to be your inspirational symbol for the coming weeks. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will have the power to blend fire and water in novel ways. I encourage you to look at the photo here—bit.ly/fluidicfire—and imprint the image on your mind’s eye. It will help unleash the subconscious forces you’ll need to pull off your own natural wonder.
SAGITTARIUS
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):
(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Lessons could come to you from unforeseen sources and unanticipated directions during the next few weeks, Sagittarius. They will also come in expected forms from all the familiar influences, so the sum total of your learning could be pretty spectacular. To take maximum advantage of the opportunity, just assume that everyone and everything might have useful teachings for you—even people you usually ignore and situations that have bored you in the past. Act like an eager student who’s hungry for knowledge and curious to fill in the gaps in your education.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22Jan. 19): “The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life
After singer Amy Winehouse died, actor Russell Brand asked the public and media to scale back their derisive opinions about her struggle with intoxicants. Addiction isn’t a romantic affectation or glamorous self-indulgence that people are too lazy to overcome, he said. It’s a disease. Would you mock a schizophrenic for his “stupid” propensity for hearing voices? Would you ridicule a victim of multiple sclerosis for not being vigorous? I’m of the opinion that all of us have at least one addiction, although it may not be as disabling as Winehouse’s weakness for liquor and narcotics. What’s yours, Pisces? Porn? Sugar? Internet? Bad relationships? The coming weeks would be a very good time to seek help in healing it.
Jonesin’ Crossword
matt jones
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“In a Roundabout Way”—freestyle puzzling for all. Across
1. “Tsk, tsk” 10. They’re to dye for 14. LOLcat-eating-acheezburger noise 15. How scripts are read 17. Taking one’s sweet time 18. Harry Potter’s house elf 19. It’s one step up from giga20. To some, a “rat with wings” 21. English Channel swimmer Gertrude 24. Creatures that do a waggle dance 26. Title for Italian monks 27. Animal frequently seen as roadkill 28. Late Cars bassist Benjamin ___ 29. ___ about (roams) 30. Grammys rival 31. Paid attention to a lecturer, for example 33. Worst Actor winner’s prize 37. EPA concern 38. Primus lead
32. Hopping video game character 33. They’re strummed with a B and D 34. Baked potato rub 35. Tendency to let things slide 36. Kumquat coat 42. Peter Lorre’s role in “Casablanca” 43. American or Foreign follower 44. State 46. Put money behind, as a candidate 49. Suzanne Vega song about child abuse 52. Backtalk 53. Suffix for opal or sal 54. Single stock: abbr. 55. Program with a “Buddy List,” for short 56. CEO-to-be’s degree
Claypool 39. Help breaking into a puzzle 40. Explosive stuff 41. “The Little Mermaid” villain 45. Prefix before duct 46. Night spots 47. Metamorphosis parts 48. Wound (around) 50. Visual jokes 51. One of a box of 13, perhaps 52. Michael’s wife, for a while 57. 2007 documentary with the tagline “This might hurt a little” 58. Medicine that slows a chemical reaction 59. Like some ground beef 60. Unlikely to change...ever
5. Barstool dweller 6. Insurance gp. 7. Palindromic woman’s name 8. Leather shoe, for short 9. Accident victim helper 10. “Quo ___?” 11. Sleep like ___ 12. Devil’s advocate phrase 13. It’s bigger than family 16. Nighttime soap of the 1980s 20. 2-in-1 shampooconditioner since 1987 22. Unit of light 23. Bubbled up (from) 24. Hogs 25. Cupid’s Greek counterpart 29. “Nope, you’re wrong!” follow-up
DOWN
Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0557.
1. Shoe sole curve 2. Holy city? 3. Three-ingredient desserts 4. Egyptian president of the 1970s
chattanoogapulse.com • february 2-8, 2012 • The Pulse • 21
Life in the Noog
chuck crowder
Salty Tales from a Rock ‘n’ Roll Sea Cruise Last week I did three things I’ve never done before: take a cruise, go to Mexico and see Weezer live (twice). The first two seem pretty normal, but the latter is rarer in that this particular voyage was the Weezer Cruise 2012. Aboard were not only the “Buddy Holly” guys, but other musical acts such as Dinosaur Jr., Sebadoh, Wavves, Yuck, Free Energy, comedian Doug Benson and a host of up-and-coming acts (all of which were personally chosen by Rivers Cuomo, as he calls the shots for all of those guys). Thanks to a friend with connections, a group of us were able to cost-effectively join a couple of thousand rabid Weezer fans from around the globe for this four-day rock ‘n’ roll freak-out. And what a trip it was—in more ways than one. As I mentioned, I’ve never bothered to take a cruise in the past. The mere notion of being confined to a swaying oceanbound vessel with nothing to do but play shuffleboard, eat buffet cuisine and sleep in the dark hull of a boat wasn’t something that appealed to my pursuit of seeing the world. And the recent cruise tragedy off the coast of Italy didn’t help matters much. However, this journey proved to be much more than expected. First, we were upgraded at no additional charge to a balcony cabin, for which everyone expressed relief despite the
honest music
fact that I had no idea what it meant until I came aboard. Our cabins were about the size of a small hotel room with enough space for two people to change clothes at the same time and a balcony about the size of a half bathroom. While the nighttime waves gently rocked us to sleep and the open balcony door provided the luxury of fresh air and white noise, these same currents were tossing our cohorts down in the belly of the ship around like loose sardines in a tin can under water. Second, being in international waters meant we could gam-
ble in the ship’s casino. Bingo! And the free food was much better than expected, even though the alcohol that typically fuels rock shows was extra—a lot extra. It didn’t take too long to figure out that Foster’s oil cans were the best bargain and that you should always double down on 11 and stay when the dealer is showing a 6 or less. But best of all, there was live rock ‘n’ roll—and plenty of it. Like a mini music festival, the event’s organizers utilized every club, theater, stage and even the deck as venues for delivering at least two shows at a time for most of the trip. Each of the dozen or so bands played at least twice during the three days at sea, so there were ample opportunities to check out just about all of them. We saw Weezer play their two best albums—their self-titled 1994 debut, which fans refer to as “The Blue Album” and their 1996 follow-up, “Pinkerton”— in their entirety. We sported earplugs for two shows each by mind-melting Dinosaur Jr. and Sebadoh. Plus we were treated to great new acts gaining note with the critics such as Yuck, Wavves, The Antlers, Keepaway, Ozma and Free Energy. In keeping with the openseas theme, we saw the Yacht
The motley crew of the Weezer Cruise 2012.
Rock Revue flawlessly cover just about every smooth classic from the 1970s and ’80s. Since we were all stuck on the boat together, we were able to do things like stand in the buffet line with J. Mascis, have our pictures made with our favorite musicians, party with the Yacht Rock Revue dudes, play poker with Doug Benson and even play shuffleboard with the drummers from Yuck and Wavves. We even met Brian Ray, Paul McCartney’s guitarist, who was aboard as Weezer’s tour manager. The cruise ended in true rock ‘n’ roll fashion. When we docked in Miami, my cabin
mate and I were literally the last two people to disembark— even after the stars of the show, Weezer, had long gone. After security basically threw us off with barely packed suitcases it was time to come home. Even if it did take a few days to shake the sea legs and hangovers, this cruise truly rocked! Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you read with a grain of salt, but let it pepper your thoughts.
local and regional shows
The Paranormals with Telemonster ($3)
Wed, Feb 1
9pm
Gold Plated Gold with Crass Mammoth ($3)
Thu, Feb 2
9pm
The Bob Marley Birthday Bash ($7)
Sun, Feb 5
9pm
Johnny Drop Out CD Release Show
Wed, Feb 8
9pm
Live Irish Music following the Irish Session players every Sunday night FREE SHOWS start at 7pm Feb. 12: John Lathim & Company Feb. 19: Molly Maguires
Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week.
thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint 22 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 2-8, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
featuring
T.C. Cope February 2-4 Reserve Your Tickets in Advance By Calling: (423) 629-2233
thecomedycatch.com chattanoogapulse.com • february 2-8, 2012 • The Pulse • 23
A Valentine gift for the body, from the heart. Valentine’s Day specials start Friday, Feb. 10, through midnight Tuesday, Feb. 14. Couples suite available. Send all the right messages with Massage Envy gift cards. Available at Massage Envy Spa.
$78 Couples • $39 Introductory Massage • $49 Facials
345 Frazier ave • NExT To REgIoNS BANk • 423.757.2900 Massageenvy.coM • Walk-ins Welcome convenient Hours • open 7 Days M-F 8aM-10pM, sat 8aM-6pM, sun 10aM-6pM
Visit Massage enVy for details. © 2011 Massage enVy frnachising, llc.