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March 13-19

on the beat

Vol. 11 • No. 11

the good old nights side job atthe stop and rob

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

ticket Autos on your mind? Check out these picks from our car guy

ride

to

tech code for america screen hbo's chambliss ctr documentary music decibella

2 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

MARCH

Happenings

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Mike McJunkin

THE BOWL: Patrick, Poodles, Pilsners... Singled Out by Singletracks... Driving the Arts

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Art Direction & Design Gary Poole Contributors David Traver Adolphus • Rich Bailey Rob Brezsny • John DeVore • Janis Hashe Matt Jones • Kelly Lockhart • Marc T. Michael Ernie Paik • Gary Poole • Alex Teach

THE LIST: No slowing the Indigo Girls LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Editorial Interns Madeline Chambliss • Dea Lisica • Leith Tigges

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Cartoonists & Illustrators Tom Tomorrow Photographer/Webmaster Josh Lang Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin

NEW CARS, NO REGRETS

Autos on your mind? Check out these picks from our car guy By David Traver Adolphus

Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Lisa Dicaire • Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer Stacey Tyler • Jerry Ware

Features ARTS: Existential yucks with Stoppard, cruel intentions with LaBute SCREEN: Local single mom featured in HBO documentary

CONTACT

NEW MUSIC REVIEWS: David Van Tieghem stumbles, Chrome chugs fiercely

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar calendar@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

L E e ls UA U N SS e Pu AN E I n Th IN k i W Wee

brewEr media group

Publisher & President Jim Brewer II

Contents

t ex

2014

N

13

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN' CROSSWORD

Voices

R&B NOUVEAU

RICH BAILEY: Injecting digital mojo into city government

Bexy Ribiero’s new group, Decibella, lights it up bigtime By Marc T. Michael

ALEX TEACH: Reminiscing about the "good old nights"

Are you ready for spring? We are ready for you. Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

7734 Lee Highway • McKayBooks.com Mon-Thu 9am-9pm • Fri-Sat 9am-10pm • Sun 11am-7pm chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 3

BOWL

THE

chattanooga’s weekly alternative NEWS • COMMENTARY • BULLETINS & PUSH NOTIFICATIONS AT DIAL-UP SPEED facebook/chattanoogapulsE • TWITTER @CHATTAPULSE EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

DOGood, ChattaCrawl

Patrick, Poodles, Pilsners What do poodles and pilsners have in common? Nothing, really—but this St. Paddy’s Day you can enjoy both in support of two local charities. You and Fido can start the celebrations early by joining DOGood Chattanooga’s 5th annual St. PAWtrick’s Day Walk and Yappy Hour on Saturday, Mar. 15, in support of “keeping Chattanooga clean, green, and dog friendly.” The walk begins at Renaissance Park by the Pavilion at 10 a.m. and will conclude at Whole Foods for Yappy Hour from 1 – 3 p.m., with fresh-baked dog treats from Bone Apetit. The “pups and

their people” in the best green ensembles will win prizes, so be sure you and your dog are dressed to impress. For more information, visit facebook.com/groups/ dogoodchatt.

After dropping the canines off at home, continue your celebrations with the St. Paddy’s Pub Crawl, hosted by ChattaCrawl in benefit of the Northside Neighborhood House. You already planned an evening of libations in observance of St. Patrick’s Day, so why not drink for charity? Tickets are $25 and include “St. Paddy’s swag,” free entry (no cover charge) and a $5 gift card to each participating pub (Flying Squirrel, Terminal Brewhouse, The Social, and Honest Pint), free entry (no cover charge) to the St. Patty’s Patten Parkway Block Party, and a 10-percentoff coupon for the Northside Neighborhood House Thrift Store. To top it off, participants will be able to enter a drawing to win the Pot O’ Gold at the Patten Parkway Block Party. The crawl will begin at 5 p.m. at Patten Parkway. For tickets and more information regarding the event, visit chattacrawl.com. For more information about Northside Neighborhood House, visit nnhouse.org. — Dea Lisica Mountain bikers rejoice

Singled Out by Singletracks Water sports, hiking trails and rock climbing: Chattanooga has become one of the most popular locations for outdoor recreation in the country. Now, it has been named one of the top ten best places for mountain biking by biking blog Singletracks. With more than one hundred trails to choose from throughout the area, it’s no mystery why Chattanooga was featured among other biking paradises such as Colorado, Utah and Arizona. Singletracks praises Chattanooga for its small-town feel, city nightlife and overabundance of trail options. With SORBA Chattanooga’s mission to create at least 100 Chattanooga bike trails, cyclists looking for variety are sure to find 4 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

it on Raccoon Mountain, Five Points or White Oak Mountain, depending on how leisurely or challenging you want the ride to be. Avid mountain bikers in Chattanooga can also look forward to the new and future renovations of Stringer’s Ridge, the Northshore wilderness park with nearly 100 acres of trails. Latest developments include an expansion of trails and overall park maintenance, thanks to Friends of Stringer’s Ridge and volunteer groups within Chattanooga. One of these groups includes the Trek Bicycle Store. Tyler Klein of Trek Bicycles raves on the new park, calling it a “true gem.” He says, “You feel like you’re not even downtown; it’s a full-on workout.” Klein also advocates Stringer’s Ridge for both experienced riders and new ones, although he calls Raccoon Mountain his favorite. Spring’s here—time to get pedalling. — Leith Tigges New Plate Offered

Driving the Arts One of the easiest and most pain-free ways to support the arts (and let others know that you do) is with a specialty license plate. And the state has just announced a new version of that plate, with a big “ART” followed by “creating the future.” It’s currently for sale through the Hamilton County Clerk’s office.  It’s true you’ll pay more for the specialty plates—$56.50 a year more, to be specific—but in 2013, the Specialty License Plate Program allowed the Tennessee Arts Commission to provide $4.5 million of the $6.3 million in grants made to over 600 organizations in every region of the state. And that includes many of our beloved local arts institutions and schools.   If the new plate is not catching your fancy, there are three other plates supporting the arts, including the HepCat, the Rainbow, and a personal favorite, the Grinning Fish. — Staff

LIST

THE

pulse » PICKS

• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

THU3.13

fri3.14

STRINGING US ALONG

YER GETTING SLEEPY

String Theory

Hypnotist Gary Conrad

• A celebration of chamber music in a museum setting, String Theory continues their fifth season in Chattanooga with clarinetist Jose Franch-Ballester, violinist Arnaud Sussmann, and pinaist Gloria Chien. 6:30 p.m. • Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, stringtheorymusic.org

MUSIC FOR A CAUSE

• For over two decades, Conrad has been traveling the world getting people to do things on stage they never thought they would ever do in public, and all for fun. 7:30 p.m. • The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com

CONSPIRACY THEORY

423PK Fundraiser

The Scarlet Love Conspiracy

• Local music fans raising money to provide promotional and social media services for local bands. The Bohannons, Behold the Brave, and Bottle Rocket are scheduled to perform. 8:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com

• One of Chattanooga's most dynamic live acts, the Scarlet Love Conspiracy continues to build on an ever-growing fanbase. Come out and see why you should be a Scarlet Lover. 8:30 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

No Slowing Down These Indigo Girls Back when I was in high school in Decatur, Georgia in the early '80s, I auditioned and won a part in the school drama department's staging of the classic musical "Oklahoma!" It was my first acting role and I was understandably a bit nervous, surrounded by more seasoned actors (at least to my eyes). I was especially worried about singing in public. I remember during rehearsals, two of the other students kept sitting in a corner and playing their guitars and signing during breaks. Gathering up my courage, I approached them and asked for some advice, which they gave freely. I also remember clearly that I thought they sounded pretty

good. Their voices blended beatifully. Turns out I was not alone in my opinion of them. For those two students later become one of the most successful folk-rock duos of the last three decades, better known as the Indigo Girls. From their breakout hit "Closer To Fine" in 1989, Amy Ray and Emily Saliers have released 17 albums (and counting), founded their own record label, toured the world and show no signs of stopping. — Kelly Lockhart Indigo Girls Monday, Mar 17, 8 p.m. 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, track29.co

sat3.15 LOVE O' THE IRISH St. Paddy’s Party on the Parkway • It's a block party on Patton Parkway to benefit the Chattanooga Autism Center wth music from the Molly Maguires, Nim Nims, Big Kitty, Gold Plated Gold, and Angel Snow 4 p.m. • The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com

BLUEGRASS FOREVER The Billy Sea • If you loved the Biscuit Burners, you'll love the sounds of Billy Sea and their unique brand of "Global Americana" music. With special guests the Von Wamps for an evening of bluegrass. 8 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org

m p 0 3 : 7 4 1 0 2 , 1 l i r p A s i r r a H patten Performances n o f e St UtC Fine arts Center Corner of Vine & palmetto Streets

www.tickettracks.com or call (423) 425 - 4269

chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 5

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*The Annual Percentage Rate (APR) of 2.29% and 2.79% are accurate as of 05/10/14 and the rates quoted assume excellent borrower credit history. Credit approval is subject to FSG Bank credit requirements and auto deduct payment from a FSG Bank checking account. The APR and repayment terms will depend on borrower credit history, loan amount and term of the loan and may result in a higher rate than advertised. For example, with an APR of 2.29%, a loan amount of $25,000 and a term of 60 months with a loan fee of $119.95, the monthly payment would be $439.29. A second example offers an APR of 2.79%, a loan amount of $25,000 and a term of 60 months with a loan fee of $79.95, the monthly payment would be $445.45. Customer is responsible for tax, tags, title, and noting of lien. Offer only valid on model years 2012, 2013, and 2014. Other conditions and restrictions may apply. Rates are subject to change. Limited time offer. Preexisting auto loans are not eligible for this promotion, new loans only. Member FDIC. 6 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

9

NEW

CARS

YOU WON'T

REGRET

by David Traver Adolphus

Autos on your mind? Check out these picks from our car guy

Did you know: There are more than 3,450 different new models on sale right now.* We sort through them and pick some winners. *This is not true. It’s a great time to be buying a new car. A technological revolution is sweeping the industry, with lightweight materials and high efficiency drivetrains appearing at all levels. For the first time since someone put their horse on a diet, vehicles are actually getting lighter—Ford’s new aluminum F150, for example, is dropping 700 pounds. That not only makes it possible to do the same work with less engine, but also has subtle benefits like longer tire life and shorter braking distances. And with significantly improved new models appearing all the time, there’s a nice opportunity for bargain hunting in the summer and fall. For those of us who remember car buying in the dark days of the ’70s and ’80s, it’s an amazing time to be alive. Check out these nine suggestions, which cover the demographic gamut. »8

chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 7

at

The Basics

Ford Fiesta If you’re really pinching pennies, you end up in the $14,000 realm of ® the Nissan Versa and Toyota Yaris— which are terrible—and Ford Fiesta, which is not. In fact, while those cars ® share base prices in the Fiesta’s range, real-world prices put the Now through December 2, 2013December Lease a new 2014Lease Forester for 2014 Forester Now through 2, 2013 a new for in its own little niche, where Fiesta you can find the sedan starting at **** **** under $12,000. We’ve seen discounted Nissans on a 36-Month Lease on a 36-Month Lease under $10,000 (Standard 2.5i 6MT model, code EFA-01) $1,939 due at lease signing. $0 security deposit. (Standard 2.5i 6MT model, code EFA-01) $1,939 due at lease signing. $0 security deposit. and while Now through December 2, 2013December get the Now through 2, 2013 get Now through December 2, 2013 Lease a new 2014 Forester for

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* Manufacturer’ s suggested retail price destination and deliveryand charges, tax,includes title andhandling registration includes handling inland freight fees and may vary in some states. Prices, cations, options, features and models subject to change without ail price does not include destination and delivery charges, tax,does titlenot andinclude registration fees. Destination delivery andfees. inlandDestination freight feesandanddelivery may vary in some states.and Prices, specifi cations, options, features and models subjectspecifi to change without notice. ** EPA-estimated economy. Actual mileage may vary. ***Cannot be combined with any other well-qualifi ed applicants only. Length of contract is limited. to credit approval,No vehicle economy. Actual mileage may vary. ***Cannot befuel combined with any other incentive. Financing for well-qualifi ed applicants only.incentive. Length ofFinancing contract isforlimited. Subject to credit approval, vehicle insurance approvalSubject and vehicle availability. downinsurance payment approval required.and vehicle availability. No down payment required. participating for details. Must take delivery stock fees by December 2, 2013 and registration fees extra. Other leases other models. Cannot combined withtoany other incentives. ratestoextended to well-qualified buyers and are subject to tails. Must take deliverySee from dealer stockdealers by December 2, 2013 ****Tax, titlefrom and dealer registration extra. Other leases ****Tax, availabletitle on other models. Cannot be combined withavailable any otheronincentives. Special leaseberates extended well-qualifi ed buyersSpecial and arelease subject approval, vehicle insurance availability. Lesseeapplicable), pays personal propertymaintenance and ad valorem taxesnot (where applicable), insurance, maintenance repairs coveredcharge by warranty, excessive wearfor andmileage tear andover a mileage of 15 cents per mile for mileage over 12,000 miles per ce approval and vehiclecredit availability. Lessee pays personalapproval propertyand andvehicle ad valorem taxes (where insurance, repairs covered by warranty, excessive wear and tear andnot a mileage of 15 cents per mile 12,000charge miles per Dealerinparticipation may be affect final cost. available in Hawaii. Cannot be combined anyinother or offers. Payments may be higher states.2,Must from dealer stock December 2,dealers 2013. Call 1-800-WANT-AWD or see participating dealers for details. ffect final cost. Offer notyear. available Hawaii. Cannot combined withOffer anynot other incentives or offers. Payments may be with higher someincentives states. Must take delivery from dealer stock in bysome December 2013.take Calldelivery 1-800-WANT-AWD or seebyparticipating for details.

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A Little Flair

Dodge Dart SXT Blacktop

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In the past, the Dart has had a few issues—let’s get that out in the open. The 1.4- and 2.0-liter turbo engines have been trouble-prone, coupled to a lousy transmission and disappointingly inefficient. But for 2014, the SXT loses the turbo and gains displacement with a 184hp 2.4. Mileage is rated at 22 MPG urban/35 MPG highway, but unlike the ’13, it should actually be able to produce those numbers, and hopefully be far more reliable as well. Where Dart has always shone is in fun-to-

drive, with an Alfa Romeo chassis underneath delivering a great ride/ handling balance. Stepping up to the $295 Blacktop package gets you the Rallye appearance group, plus a very slick Sport interior and comprehensive blackout exterior with dark 18-inch aluminum wheels. You could probably find a better allaround car for the (about $19,000) price, like a crazy-good three-door Mazda3 or Ford Focus, but the Dodge has it all over them on looks.

Cheap Fun

Subaru BRZ

There are very, very few hardcore enthusiasts’ cars offered for sale. It’s a limited market that includes Porsche’s 911 GT3 and occasional Clubsport or Speedster models; a couple of Lotuses; and the SRT Viper (SRT is a separate brand from Dodge now). All of those are high-strung, high-dollar exotics, which between maintenance and breakdowns will eat money faster

than a Russian Olympic contractor. Then there’s Subaru. The BRZ (and its Scion FR-S twin) comes with a ludicrous back seat and a $25,595 sticker, a third of the price of the cheapest Lotus. A little 2.0-liter flat-four spits 200hp out the back wheels and it’s the most fun you can have by yourself.

Your needs and wants, met and exceeded. 0% APR available up to 72 months on gas model Passat plus $750 cash rebate, and 0% APR on gas Jetta sedan plus $500 cash rebate.

2014 Passat

Family On A Budget

Mazda3 i Touring Drive around Europe and you won’t see families piling out of minivans or SUVs. You’ll see station wagons and tall hatchbacks, which hold nine-tenths of the stuff in half the footprint—important not only in congested cities, but also for the fuel efficiency a smaller car returns. Mazda is in the middle of building a series of small cars that are doing serious damage to the other players

2014 Jetta

in the market, and are now offering their Skyactiv high-efficiency suite of improvements on the all-new Mazda3 i (a larger-engine S trim is also available), including optional i-ELOOP regenerative braking. It’s finished like an Audi inside, it’s great to drive and full-size adults now fit in the back seat. At a $20,000 base price, there’s almost no competition.

Local Hero

VW Passat Sport “Sport” gets thrown around a lot, and there isn’t exactly an international monitoring agency making sure it’s used correctly. So what does the new Sport trim on a Passat bring? Mainly, it’s a spiffed-up trim level to fit between SE and SEL Premium, extremely well equipped for a

$27,295 (manual; $28,495 automatic) MSRP. It will be easy to distinguish with 19-inch Luxor multispoke alloys, all-black roof, front foglamps and rear spoiler, and a unique interior with deep seats. Competitors like the BMW 320i and Audi A4 2.0T can match the content, but need at least $6,000 more to do so. That, friends, is a lot of car for the money. » 10

Village Volkswagen of Chattanooga 6001 International Drive Chattanooga, TN 37421

423-855-4981 *Must take from Dealer Stock.

www.villagevw.com

Photos used for illustration purposes only. Prices not good in conjunction with other offers. Offer expires March 31, 2014. Cash rebate available only if financed, with approved credit, through Volkswagen of North America. See dealer for complete details. chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 9

«9

Make Mine Muscle

Ford Mustang Two Fords? It was a struggle not to have more, because Ford is going from strength to strength. But Mustang deserves a place on any list, because it is an authentically good value in any trim. Even a V-6 makes 305hp and stickers at $22,510 for a coupe. Step up to a V-8, though, and you get 420hp from the epic 5.0-liter Coyote V-8. As you’d hope after 50 years of production, Ford has this thing figured out, and everything about it just plain works. It goes like stink, yet is comfortable enough to drive anywhere, every day. The interior might be a little hard and shiny, but that’s the price you pay for not paying a very high price. Hold off on your shopping until the end of summer, and you’ll find huge discounts in advance of an all-new 2015 Mustang.

This Sporting Life

BMW M235i BMWs are not as pretty as they once were, and the lineup is a lot more confusing. For instance, BMW says this isn’t a “true” M car, and thus isn’t the M2. But at the same time it’s a sporting variant on the 2-series, so it gets the M badge. The good news is on the inside, where you get the best driving position in any BMW, raucous noise from the turbo four (like the original M3’s four-cylinder engine), sticky tires, big brakes and a sport suspension. In fact, it’s very reminiscent of an old M3, in all good ways. Option it with a six-speed manual, and you’d actually have a real sports car, just like BMW used to make.

Family Not On A Budget

Chrysler Town & Country Limited

The T&C is less a vehicle than a really, really nice hotel room on wheels, one that accepts both pets and children and doesn’t charge for the minibar. The more-or-less inventors of the minivan have continually refined their game over the last 30 years, and the result is essentially perfection. It’s not just the list of features that makes it so pleasant, and it is a long, long list—I mean, how many USB ports can you actually use in one vehicle?—but the execution that makes you feel so good. Sure, the new front end is very ugly indeed, but the rest of the vehicle is so well-thought-out and nice to be in that you just don’t care.

Born To Be A Baller

Cadillac ELR

If you ever wanted to drive a car of the future, possibly one built for a cyber gangster, Cadillac has your ride. Cadillac’s design language is called Art & Science, and ELR is an Art & Science concept car driven right off the Detroit show floor. Inside and out, what they call an “electrified compact luxury coupe” is crazy dramatic and imposing, with a huge faux grille and startling proportions. Power is adapted from the Chevrolet Volt, a small gas engine and big battery pack. It’s not terribly fast, but like the Volt, it’s fantastic to drive and highly efficient. If you showed this car to a kid reading a comic book and said it was from the future, he wouldn’t be surprised. Plus, they only sold 42 in January 2014, so you’ll be the only one in that exclusive club.

Formerly with the Hemmings Motor News family of car magazines, David Traver Adolphus is an automotive historian and contributor at Road & Track and other outlets. He is also director of The Road Home, a not-for-profit organization that provides post-9/11-era veterans with social, training and employment opportunities in the automotive restoration industry.

10 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

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chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 11

Music

MARC T. MICHAEL

R&B Nouveau Bexy Ribiero’s new group, Decibella, lights it up bigtime Photography by Amy Fletcher

S

INGER SONGWRITER BEXY RIBIERO has a brand new bag, Decibella, and if the preliminary tracks are any indication, she’s going to set the 2014 Road to Nightfall on fire. The Digital Butter founder and veteran of numerous musical collaborations assembled a team consisting of herself on vocals and trumpet, Tyler Southern on guitar, Tyler Reddick on bass and Jared White on drums. Plans are in the works to add a keyboard player and a more robust horn section, but this is the core of the group at the moment—and for the moment, it is enough. The phenomenal thing about Decibella is how swiftly it seems to be progressing.

12 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

The band has been together only a short time but has already scored a handful of important gigs and is recording material at a fantastic rate. Granted, the tracks are all rough cuts at the moment, but I’m almost starting to think I’d prefer bands give me their rough tracks instead of a finished product. After a quarter century playing music, I believe you can judge more about a band’s sound from an open-air recording at rehearsal than from a finished, polished album. I was given seven tracks to preview (if not an album, then a very beefy

EP) and none of them disappointed. Track one, “Done Me Wrong,” is a fairly classical representation of funky r&b; solid instrumentals provide the backdrop for the diva-like vocals of Ribiero. It is a solid piece of genre work that readily demonstrates the strong fundamentals of the band. Track two is a slightly more daring entry called “Melt” in which we are given a taste of Ribiero’s impressive dynamic vocal range and tasty trumpet work.

UTC Campus Activities Board presents

Keep an eye out for their upcoming album. If the rough tracks are any indication (and of course they are), it’s going to be hot, hot, hot.”

“Melt” is followed by the cover tune “Get Lucky.” There are those who deride the idea of any cover tunes on an album, espousing some holier-than-thou attitude that THEY only play original material. I am not one of those. It is my belief that a well-done cover not only honors the original but also serves as a sort of baseline for comparison of the band doing the reinterpretation. Seriously, imagine your five favorite bands covering the same song. Does any version sound exactly like any other? Is any version somehow NOT to your liking? The answers to these rhetorical questions are “no” and “no” respectively. The point is that covers (in moderation) are a good thing and Decibella’s version of “Get Lucky” is both enlightening and entertaining. The angst-ridden “Nobody Loves You” is a plaintive appeal to the subject that no one loves him the way the singer does, and she delivers an Oscar-worthy performance as the broken-hearted songstress in this particular submission. I have no idea whether the inspiration for this tune was drawn from real life, but it certainly sounds that way. And that’s talent, kids. Next up in rotation is the provocatively titled track, “Next Man.” As it happens this tune IS definitely drawn from some real-life circumstances and just goes to reinforce that old Biblical proverb: Never date a songwriter and then piss her off. Musically the tune dials the funk up to eleven, and while I have no doubt the band is enjoying every tune they play, I have to think that this one in particular is fun for all concerned (except, perhaps, the fellow for whom it was written…).

The catharsis is audible in Ribiero’s voice as she lays into it with the passion of a woman scorned and the band just seems to be having a blast laying down a jazzy, funky groove that evokes a dark, smoky club as well as anything I’ve ever heard. “I Know You Know” switches gears just a bit. A little less R&B, a little more jazz vocal, it goes a long away towards demonstrating the versatility of the band and its singer. The final track, “Party of One” is a laidback acoustic (for the moment) piece that sounds like it could come boiling out of any shotgun club lining the sides of Bourbon Street, and is itself an ode to that greatest of Oscar Wilde quotes, “Self-love is the first love.” Indeed, what’s a jilted girl to do? If you had to sum up Ms. Ribiero in a single word, it would be “voice”. She has it, she knows how to use it, she is a genuine diva—and it seems she has found herself a group of musicians supremely suited to laying down the kind of soulful music her vocals complement the best. If you’ve ever been a fan of her style, you’re going to LOVE this newest project, and it appears there will be plenty of opportunities to do so. The band is stacking up gigs, the two newest being this Friday’s “Road to Nightfall” show, followed by an appearance on March 26 at Chattanooga Unplugged at Rhythm & Brews. In the meantime, listeners can track the band on their Facebook page. Keep an eye out for their upcoming album. If the rough tracks are any indication (and of course they are), it’s going to be hot, hot, hot.

7:30PM

MCKENZIE ARENA

with valid ID at the box office

at the box office or online www.gomocs.com

All tickets are general admission and applicable fees apply. Ticket prices increase day of show.

UTC is an EEO/AA/Titles VI & IX/Section 504/ADA/ADEA institution. E040250002-009-14

n o S al e a i P C T U Sunday, March 16 through Wednesday, March 19 at Summitt Pianos 6209 Lee Hwy | Chattanooga, TN 37421 Call 423-499-0600 or register online at www.summittpianos.com/piano-sale A portion of the proceeds benefits the UTC Music Department

Pianos used at UTC’s Spring Piano Festival ALL INVENTORY REDUCED!

chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 13

Chattanooga Live

CHATTANOOGA

MUSIC CALENDAR Switchfoot

LIVE MUSIC

The Scarlet Love Conspiracy

MARCH

BOHANNONS 423PK FUNDRAISER THU 9p BEHOLD THE BRAVE & BOTTLE ROCKET

13

FRI 14 @ 8P ROAD TO NIGHTFALL SAT 15 @ 8P SIX BANDS VIE FOR THEIR SHOT

THE COMMUNICATORS MON 8p 17 ST. PATS SPECIAL with EIGHT KNIVES

20 ROAD TO NIGHTFALL FRI 9p 21 SAT FLY BY RADIO 10p 22 WED DECIBELLA 9p 26 GLASS HAMMER

THU THE PROG-ROCK LEGENDS RETURN! 8p

WINNER HEADLINES NIGHTFALL!

FEMALE FRONTED ROCK AND ROLL

CHATTANOOGA UNPLUGGED

with THE AVERAGE & VINO TAKES

3.27 AGORI TRIBE with GILL YUM (18+ SHOW) 3.28 RUBIK'S GROOVE 3.29 UNKNOWN HINSON

COMING IN APRIL

CHRIS KNIGHT

WED SPECIAL ACOUSTIC PERFORMANCE 9p

2

THE REVIVALISTS

4

FRI THROW DOWN FROM NEW ORLEANS 9p

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

THUrsday3.13 Red Bank Bluegrass Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Church of the Nazarene, 6310 Dayton Blvd. (423) 842-5919, chattanoogagrace.com Night at the Opera 7 p.m. Signal Mountain Arts Community Center, 809 Kentucky Ave. (423) 886-1959, signalmacc.org Forever Bluegrass 7 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 301 Manufacturers Blvd. (423) 702-7300, wholefoodsmarket.com Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Switchfoot 8:30 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, track29.co Soul Mechanic, The Revelators 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com The Bohannons, Behold the Brave, Bottle Rocket 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Battle of the Bands II 9 p.m. Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 521-2966, chattazooga.com Open Mic w/Hap Henninger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). (423) 634-9191 Get Hot or Go Home, Hot Damn, Vino Takes

14 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

friday 3.14 Ryan Oyer 3 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Mike Phillips 7 p.m. Becky’s Restaurant and Spirits, 2503 Westside Dr. (423) 485-3873 Matthew Mayfield 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com The Billy Sea, Mary Lucey, Von Wamps 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org The Scarlet Love Conspiracy 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Mountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 866-3252 Road To Nightfall 8:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Priscilla & Lil Rickee 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3775, chattanooganhotel.com Danimal Penson 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240,

tboneschattanooga.com Aunt Betty 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com Samuel Warner 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). (423) 634-9191 Jacob Powell 11 p.m. Pokey’s Sports Bar, 918 Sahara Dr., Cleveland. (423) 476-6059

saturday 3.15 Celtic Plain 11 a.m., 12:30 p.m. Rock City Gardens, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531, seerockcity.com Sundance Jenkins Noon. Thunder Creek Harley-Davidson, 7720 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-4888, thundercreekharley.com Great Southern Old-Time Fiddlers Convention Noon. Lindsay Street Hall, 901 Lindsay St. (423) 755-9111, lindsaystreethall.com Highlander Bagpipe Troupe 1 p.m. McHale' s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124, mchalesbrewhouse.com Molly Maguires 2, 4 p.m. Rock City Gardens, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531, seerockcity.com St. Paddy’s Party on the Parkway featuring Molly

Maguires, Nim Nims, Big Kitty, Gold Plated Gold, Angel Snow 4 - 11 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com FreeJam 4 p.m. McHale’s BrewHouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124, mchalesbrewhouse.com Randy Steele, John Boulware 6 p.m. DeBarge Winery, 1617 Rossville Ave. (423) 710-8426, debargewines.com Bluegrass Jamboree 6 p.m. Harrison Ruritan Club, 5709 Tyner Ln., Harrison. Behold the Brave, Rigoletto 7 p.m. Cloud Springs Deli, 4097 Cloud Springs Rd. Ringgold, Ga. (706)956-8128, cloudspringsdeli.com Garcia and Scott 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, christunity.org The Bootleg Brothers 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com Road To Nightfall 8:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Priscilla & Lil Rickee 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3775, chattanooganhotel.com Jason Isbell, Amanda Shires 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929,

Chattanooga Live

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

MUSIC CALENDAR The Communcators

Jason Isbell

Thursday, March 13: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, March 14: 9pm Samuel Warner Saturday, March 15: 10pm She She Dance Tuesday, March 18: 7pm

track29.co Stoneline 9 p.m. McHale’s BrewHouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124, mchalesbrewhouse.com Paleface, Birds with Fleas, Nomad Army, Mythical Motors 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Aunt Betty 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com Wade Trammell Band 10 p.m. Southern Belle Riverboat, 201 Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 266-4488. chattanoogariverboat.com She She Dance 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). (423) 634-9191

sunday 3.16 Celtic Plain 11 a.m.. 12:30 p.m. Rock City Gardens, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531, seerockcity.com Molly Maguires 2, 4 p.m. Rock City Gardens, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531, seerockcity.com Chattanooga Flute Choir Irish Concert 3 p.m. Brainerd United Methodist Church, 4315 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-0333

Sunday Night Irish Jam Session 5 p.m. Enzo’s Market, 1501 Long St. (423) 486-9312, enzosmarket.com Death of Kings, Red Necklace, Generator Earth 6 p.m. Sluggo’s, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224 Open Mic Night with Ryan Oyer 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Sunday Jam 7 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 265-8711 Blind Draw 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com

monday3.17 The Communicators, Eight Knives 5:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Molly Maguires, Gasoline Heart 6 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Lee University Senior Recital: Aaron Murphy 6 p.m. Lee University Squires Recital Hall, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland. (423) 614-8240, leeuniversity.edu CSO Youth Orchestra, Ceilidh Band 6 p.m. Stratton Hall, 3146

Broad St. (423) 667-4332, strattonhall.com Music Monday 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 Big Band Night 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Indigo Girls 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, track29.co OneShotEllie 9 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com Aunt Betty 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com

tuesday 3.18 Lee University Senior Recital: Matthew Grauberger and Tricia Logsdon 6 p.m. Lee University Squires Recital Hall, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland. (423) 614-8240, leeuniversity.edu Motionless in White 7:30 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, track29.co Cuarteto Quiroga 7:30 p.m. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 266-8195, stpaulschatt.org

Lee University Ladies of Lee Concert 7:30 p.m. Lee University Chapel, 11th St. and Ocoee, Cleveland. leeuniversity.edu Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996, tremonttavern.com

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Join us on Facebook

wednesday 3.19 Old Time Music Community Jam 6 p.m. Enzo’s Market, 1501 Long St. (423) 486-9312, enzosmarket.com The Vespers 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Milele Roots 7 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com J-Roddy Walston & The Business 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, track29.co Husky Burnette 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com Desert Noises 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

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chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 15

Between the Sleeves

record reviews • ernie paik

Too Many Cooks, Cybernetic Eccentricities David Van Tieghem stumbles, Chrome chugs fiercely

SWITCHFOOT

with Kopecky Family Band THURSDAY • MARCH 13 DOORS @ 7:30PM • SHOW @ 8:30PM $22 ADVANCE • $25 DAY OF

JASON ISBELL

Specail Guest Amanda Shires SATURDAY • MARCH 15 DOORS @ 8PM • SHOW @ 9PM $17 ADVANCE • $20 DAY OF

David Van Tieghem x Ten Fits & Starts (RVNG)

O INDIGO GIRLS

with Hannah Thomas MONDAY • MARCH 17 DOORS @ 7PM • SHOW @ 8PM $30 ADVANCE • $35 DAY OF

MOTIONLESS IN WHITE LIKE MOTHS TO FLAMES TUESDAY • MARCH 18 DOORS @ 6:30PM • SHOW @ 7:30PM $16 ADVANCE • $18 DAY OF

MORE SHOWS @ TRACK29.CO

3 WAYS TO PURCHASE TICKETS TRACK29.CO • (423) 521-2929 BOX OFFICE OPEN 10AM - 6PM EVERY FRIDAY

ne childhood memory of being exposed to unconventional arts was seeing percussionist David Van Tieghem in the charming short film “Ear to the Ground,” broadcast in the mid’80s on the PBS show Alive from Off Center, which showed Tieghem wandering through city streets with a pair of mallets, literally playing the street and everything in his path as if they were drums. In line with the idea of common objects and surfaces being used as musical instruments, Van Tieghem’s latest album Fits & Starts was born from a NYC art project, where ten rookie musicians were asked to attach various items to a bulletin board, such as a muffin tin, a violin, jars and a toaster. Van Tieghem was then recorded, striking and caressing these objects with mallets and brushes, and these recordings were given back to the ten musicians as a sort of call-andresponse dialogue, who remixed and manipulated the sounds. Finally, Van Tieghem pieced these

16 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Chrome Half Machine from the Sun (King of Spades) processed tracks together into two long album-side-length collages. While “Ear to the Ground” was a fascinating look at the transformation of the ordinary, as a standalone recording, the album at hand doesn’t offer that same type of revelation; it’s not a total mystery, though, living in the context of a planned art project, but divorced from the visual aspect, the recording just seems too amorphous and vague. The existing video snippets of Van Tieghem beating on the bulletin boards are more satisfying, in their unadulterated glory. “Slippery Slope” begins with shadowy soundscapes, far away from spontaneous dynamics, and the sound processing is actually a bit annoying, with foggy reverberation that doesn’t accent Van Tieghem’s talents. Things get a little more compelling at the 8-minute mark, with more furious, inspired beats, but some artsy-fartsy near-monotone spoken word bites and the conformist, metronomic ending unravel the piece. “Cooler Heads Prevail” strips

away what made the original recordings interesting by starting with a strict 4/4 time and using robotic, distracting synth notes. By far, the album’s best moment comes at the track’s halfway point, with an odd chorus and rough sample with charged scampering, before some terrible 4-on-the-floor beats take over. With a different editing philosophy, this writer is convinced that the album could have been more memorable, but as it stands, it’s a muddled vision, perhaps with too many cooks in the kitchen.

S

tarting before the postpunk and new wave eras and pre-dating electro-clash by decades, the American group Chrome never quite got the widespread recognition that it deserved, delivering its cyborg punk that’s far more complex and sinister than the simple notion of “punks with synths.” Formed by the late Damon Edge, who took influence from bands such as The Stooges and

his studies at Disney’s California Institute of the Arts, and joined by guitarist Helios Creed for Chrome’s prime years, Chrome made dystopian science fiction soundtracks that always conveyed the feeling that something just isn’t right, while nevertheless being propelled forcefully into the future. Creed’s guitar work is distinctive, with damaged and restless sounds, often using a slow flange effect and distorted, controlled rhythmguitar blasts, and Edge’s disquieting synth lines were influenced by an atmospheric quality in music he heard on a trip to Morocco. Half Machine from the Sun is a compilation facilitated by Helios Creed, subtitled “The Lost Tracks from ’79 – ’80,” and it features unused recordings from the album sessions for Half Machine Lip Moves and Red Exposure, which were indeed lost, having been sold due to an unpaid bill and decades later reclaimed through a crowdsourced effort. Fans will likely love these unreleased tracks, recorded during the group’s creative peak, and they provide accurate and varied glimpses into the band’s cybernetic eccentricities. The uneasy opening track “Anything” offers alien, pitchshifted vocals and an off-kilter rock momentum; another highlight, “Fukushima” (originally titled “Nagasaki”), delivers fierce chugging and mind-bending vocal effects, while the singing on “Looking for Your Door” strangely resembles crooning. Rhythmically, the collection features a mix of acoustic drums and drum machines, and “Charlie’s Little Problem” even has the group banging on pieces of metal. Newcomers may want to start with the classic Half Machine Lip Moves (perhaps Chrome’s best), but really there’s no “dipping the toes in the water” with Chrome—it’s best to just cannonball dive into the group’s futuristic, visionary weirdness.

Two St. Patricks Parties/ One Irish Pub

St. Paddy's Party on the Parkway Saturday, March 15 / 4pm-11pm

a block party benefiting Chattanooga Autism Center featuring

The Molly Maguires • Endelouz • Okinawa Medicine Tree • The Nim Nims and more Free shuttle service on the Chattanooga Double Decker from 5pm-11pm with stops at Hair of the Dog Pub and the Terminal Brewhouse

St. Patrick's Day Proper Monday, March 17

Celebrate the Irish way with your local Irish Pub. Live music, Food, booze and Carousing will be plentiful live music starts at 6pm, featuring

Gasoline Heart • The Molly Maguires • and more $5 entry after 5pm. Free entry wearing a tee from 3/15 event on the parkway Free shuttle service on the Chattanooga Double Decker from 6pm-12am with stops at Hair of the Dog Pub and the Terminal Brewhouse. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 * thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 17

Arts

janis hashe

Two Different Mirrors, Same Old Mankind Let Us Roll One For You!

Existential yucks with Stoppard, cruel intentions with LaBute

C

OMING INTO TOWN FOR A MAR. 18 SHOW AS PART OF the Patten Performances series at UTC is The Acting Company’s production of Tom Stoppard’s “Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead”. Stoppard wrote what could (and has) been described as an existential laugh fest about death in the mid-’60s, but the play has lost none of its punch.

St. Elmo

East Brainerd

3815 St. Elmo Avenue Chattanooga, TN 37409 (423) 822-6656 (MOJO)

1414 Jenkins Road Chattanooga, TN 37421 (423) 296-6656 (MOJO)

Red Bank

1800 Dayton Boulevard Chattanooga, TN 37405 (423) 870-6656 (MOJO)

mojoburrito.com

/mojoburrito

18 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Treating death as if it is just the absence of space would have been very radical then… people did not really have those conversations. Now we do.”

Two minor characters in Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”, his friends from school, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, become the main characters in this play. They are onstage during the times when in “Hamlet” they are off, trying to figure out what in the heck is going on and where in the heck they are. (The title is, so to speak, a dead giveaway.) Grant Fletcher Prewitt plays Rosencrantz in this version of the play, which is directed by Tony-award-winning director John Rando. He notes that he studied “R&G” for rhetoric when he was in grad school. “I was of course familiar with Stoppard’s work,” he says, “but opening the show in New York presented a unique challenge and I think at first I played it a little safe…being on tour has allowed us the freedom to dig a little deeper.” Prewitt also played Rosencrantz in The Acting Company’s production of “Hamlet” so he’s now had an opportunity to look at the character from many angles. “I’ve realized exactly how cleverly Stoppard used ‘Hamlet’ as the source,” he says. But he emphasizes audience members do not have to be Shakespearean scholars to enjoy “R&G”. For example, in both “Hamlet” and the Stoppard play, even Rosencrantz and Guildenstern have a hard time remembering which one is which, and that is just plain good comedy. “It’s really fun as an actor,” Prewitt says. “They even confuse each other, and I look for manner-

GULF SHORES / ORANGE BEACH

*Restrictions may apply

“Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead”

isms of his to copy, as he does with me.” Audiences of today likely respond to the play somewhat differently than its initial ones did. “Treating death as if it is just the absence of space would have been very radical then…people did not really have those conversations. Now we do,” Prewitt says. “What I take away from it is that you have to enjoy life while it’s in front of you. It’s fleeting. But we make you laugh the entire time about it.” Meanwhile, over in Brainerd at Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, modern, controversial theatre is also front and center stage. Neil LaBute’s “Fat Pig” depicts a young man, Tom, who falls for a woman society perceives as fat. He loves her as she is, but smacks up against the bigotry of the people around him.   LaBute is known for his often-brutal depictions of human cruelty in plays such as “In the Company of Men” and “The Shape of Things”, and director Garry Lee Posey notes

that one of the challenges in doing his work is discovering “why the characters and situations are approached so harshly.” For actors, trained to be emotionally sensitive, playing characters that “may be irredeemable” is difficult, Posey says. His cast has bonded while working with such material.  “LaBute is known for identifying social buttons and holding his finger on them  for longer than is comfortable, “ he says. “But as artists, we are burdened with holding up the mirror. And for passionate artists, plays like this hit home hard.” Yet there are potentially important takeaways for audiences from “Fat Pig,” Posey says. “We’re all capable of hating things about ourselves. I think LaBute may well see part of himself in this play. I don’t know what each individual audience member will take from it, but I know we have grown from working on it.”

“Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead” 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, Mar. 18 only. $24, $15 students. UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4371, utc.edu/fine-arts-center

“Fat Pig” 7:30 p.m. Fri/Sat, 2:30 Sun, Mar. 13-22. $15, $10 students. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. in Eastgate Town Center. (423) 602-8640, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

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chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 19

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR

Great Southern Old Time Fiddlers’ Convention

Gary Conrad

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THUrsday 3.13 Chattanooga Music Teachers Association Master Class 9:30 a.m. Crutcher’s Pianos, 6223 Lee Hwy. String Theory 5:30 p.m. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org Winter Workshop: Green Trips 6 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888, outdoorchattanooga.com Pisgah Astronomical Research Institute: Three Missions Fulfilled 7 p.m. Clarence T. Jones Observatory, 10 Tuxedo Ave. (423) 425-4518 “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 5171839, funnydinner.com “The Taming of the Shrew” 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com Chattanooga Vertical Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Chattanooga Horizontal Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Beer Taps Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com

friday3.14 Portrait Sculpture with

20 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Brian Booth Craig 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St., Ste. 107. (423) 266-2712, townsendatelier.com Mimi’s “Night in Paris” Workshop 5 p.m. Mimi’s Market & Deli, 5023 Hixson Pike Lake Dock WorkshopFundraiser for Corie 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga “I’m Getting Murdered in the Morning” 7 p.m. Abba’s House, 5208 Hixson Pike. (423) 877-6462 Japanese Bridge by Claude Monet Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com “Mystery of Flight 138” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com “Fat Pig” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com USA Ballroom Dance 7:30 p.m. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 266-8195 “The Taming of the Shrew” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com

saturday 3.15 Foto @ the Falls - Ruby Falls Photography Tour 7:30 a.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 South Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544

CACCF Rump Run 5K/Fun Walk 9 a.m. Enterprise South Nature Park, 8015 Volkswagen Dr. (423) 893-3500 Still Life Watercolor Painting with Daud Akhriev 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St., Ste. 107. (423) 266-2712, townsendatelier.com Rain Barrel Workshop 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960, tnaqua.org Two-Part Ready to Garden Workshop at Crabtree Farms 10 a.m. Crabtree Farms,1000 E. 30th St. (423) 493-9155, crabtreefarms.org DOGood Chattanooga’s St. PAWtrick’s Day Walk and Yappy Hour! 10 a.m. Renaissance Park, 200 River St. “The K Play” 10:30, 11:30 a.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com CANC March Animal Presentations 11 a.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanoogaanc.org Birds of Prey 11 a.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanoogaanc.org Kids Camp-Giraffe and Craft Workshop 11 a.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga Great Southern Old Time Fiddlers’ Convention Noon. Lindsay Street Hall, 906 Lindsay St. (423) 755-9111 “Werther”: Met Opera 2014 12:55 p.m. East Ridge 18, 5080 S. Terr., carmike.com Wolves of North America program

1 p.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanoogaanc.org St. Patrick’s Day Happy Hour 1 p.m. Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 937-9463 Winter Garden Lecture 2 p.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanoogaanc.org Eastgate Saturday Cinema: “Mortal Instruments: City of Bones” 2:30 p.m. Eastgate Public Library, 5705 Marlin Rd., Ste. 1500. (423) 855-2689 Tracking 101 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanoogaanc.org St. Patrick’s Day Cancer Society Benefit 4 p.m. Mayo’s Restaurant & Lounge, 3820 Brainerd Rd. Reception for “Symbiosis” by Art Nomad 5 p.m. Graffiti, 505 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 400-9797, hillcityart.com “Mystery of The Facebook Fugitive” 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com “I’m Getting Murdered in the Morning” 7 p.m. Abba’s House, 5208 Hixson Pike. (423) 877-6462 Modern Flowers Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge., (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Night and Day Workshop by Matt Hamblen 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga Another Story Live 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081,

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR ®

"Werther"

Keith McGill

Check out these upcoming events at Ruby Falls:

Photo Tour Sat, Mar 15 7:15am Check in 7:30am Start Time

thecamphouse.com “Fat Pig” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com CSO: “Beethoven and Prokofiev” 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St., (423) 642-TIXS, chattanoogasymphony.org Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com The Billy Sea featuring Mary Lucey 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org “The Taming of the Shrew” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Stand-up Comedy: Keith McGill 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

sunday 3.16 Shamrock City at Rock City 8:30 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road, Lookout Mtn., Ga. seerockcity.com Still Life Watercolor Painting with Daud Akhriev 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423)-266-2712, townsendatelier.com “Fat Pig” 2:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

“The Taming of the Shrew” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538. theatrecentre.com “East Asian Inspired Art: 7 Artists” 4 p.m. North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr., Ste. 102 Birds on a Wire Workshop by Jennifer Loomers 4 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga Hypnotist Gary Conrad 5 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com Shakespeare Sculpture Unveiling at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre 5 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St., (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com Sunset Cattails Workshop 6 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com

monday3.17 Beginning Watercolor with Durinda Cheek 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423)-266-2712, townsendatelier.com Intermediate/advanced Watercolor with Durinda Cheek 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423)-266-2712, townsendatelier.com Painting Glass Vessels with Melissa Hefferlin 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423)-266-2712, townsendatelier.com Saint Patrick’s Day Swirly Cross Workshop 5:30 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Chattanooga Bicycle Club 6 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga,

200 River St. (423) 643-6888, outdoorchattanooga.com Luck of the Irish Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga

tuesday 3.18 Painting Glass Vessels with Melissa Hefferlin 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423)-266-2712, townsendatelier.com Krazi Quiltin’ - American Sewing Guild 1:30 p.m. Hixson Community Center, 5404 School Dr. The Nightly Build Class Series 6 p.m. Set in Stone, 306 W. Main St., Suite 114 Launch’s Learn How To Start Your Own Business Course 6 p.m. Bethlehem Community Center, 200 W. 38th St. (423) 523-9307 Paint and Sip Party 6:30 p.m. 110 E. Main St. (423) 521-4707 Sunflower Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga Blue Guitar Workshop 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com “Rosenscrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead” 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4371, utc.edu/finearts

wednesday 3.19 Painting Glass Vessels with Melissa Hefferlin 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423)-266-2712, townsendatelier.com “Werther”: Met Opera 2014 encore

6:30 p.m. East Ridge 18, 5080 S. Terr., carmike.com Diva in a Hat Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga Palette Knife: Van Gogh Starry Night Palette Knife Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga Open Studio - You pick the painting 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terr., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com

ongoing “Impressions” River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St., (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Good For You: Healthy Food on the Run”
 Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St., (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org
 “African American Art: Harlem Renaissance Civil Rights Era and Beyond” Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Photographic Prints”
 Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 894-7112
 Satan’s Breath- March 2014 
In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214, intowngallery.com UTC Cress Gallery: Michelle Segre “Sculptures and Drawings” 2014 Diane Marek Visiting Artist Cress Gallery of Art, 736 Vine St., (423) 425-4600

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com

Reservations required FOR MORE INFORMATION

RubyFalls.com 423-821-2544

Experience Ruby Falls in a whole new light! Reservations required, get more info at:

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chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 21

St. Patrick’s Day Screen

SPECIALS “Paycheck to Paycheck” Is We will meet or beat any advertised price in Chattanooga!

john devore

A Wake-up Call

Chambliss Center, local single mom featured in HBO documentary

Katrina Gilbert

F

OR THE PAST YEAR OR SO, HBO HAS BEEN filming a documentary at my son’s day care. I know this because I have signed several release documents and seen the odd cameraman lounging at the entrances. I spoke with a producer early on, attempting to get an interview, but it seems that most days I wasn’t there at the time when they were filming. My brief conversation with the producer informed me that the documentary was about single mothers at the poverty line, about the challenges they face raising their children on little income and limited time. 22 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

What I assumed would be a few days of filming comparing and contrasting 24-hour daycare programs like The Chambliss Center became “Paycheck to Paycheck: the Life and Times of Katrina Gilbert.” It focuses on one woman, Katrina Gilbert, a Chattanooga resident with three children fighting for financial security and a better future for her children. I have no doubt that I have passed Ms. Gilbert in the hallways of The Chambliss Center, one of the few positive influences in her life. I know that I have passed many women in the hallways of the center in similar situations. Katrina Gilbert is not alone in her struggle. “Paycheck to Paycheck” is founded in the recently released Shriver Report on women and poverty. According to the report, one in three women in the U.S. is facing poverty as a daily reality. Nearly twothirds of minimum wage workers in the U.S. are women. Forty percent of all households with children under 18 are headed by women who are the sole or primary source of income. These conditions mean that even one minor incident, a broken-down car or a sudden illness, can turn into a major disaster that can ruin entire lives. The documentary follows Ms. Gilbert through one year of her life, documenting the low wage she makes as a certified nursing assistant at an extended-care facility for the elderly. She struggles with her own health issues, suffering from Graves’s disease and sometimes being forced to choose between medication and caring for her children. It’s a reality that far too many women in Chattanooga face. Katrina Gilbert could be any one of the women I see daily as I pick up my son. One of the focuses of the film is the Chambliss Center for Children in Brainerd. It is a 24-hour subsidized childcare facility that operates on a sliding scale

based on income. It serves parents who are either working or in school, as well as providing a home for foster children removed from their parents due to abuse or neglect. What I can tell you about the Chambliss Center is that it is likely the most worthwhile charity cause in Chattanooga. My son has attended the school since he was 8 weeks old, and in the last four years has flourished under their programs. It allowed both my wife and me to attend school and receive our teaching licenses without spending the majority of our limited income on childcare. I can tell you that Ms. Gilbert’s situation would be dramatically worse if she didn’t have access to the program. I can also tell you that facilities like The Chambliss Center should be expanded and funded and prioritized due to their unique position as a tool in the fight against poverty. Education is the key to overcoming poverty and The Chambliss Center is an essential service for women like Katrina Gilbert. Katrina Gilbert is as much a part of our city as our parks, our arts culture, and our skyline. Much of the news we hear about the Scenic City is about how the city was revitalized through concentrated effort across administrations. As notable as this is, and as exceptional the results, we should think about what might be possible if we put the same effort and money into our citizens, into providing real relief to those experiencing poverty. If we can change the riverfront, we can change the lives of people like Katrina Gilbert.

I can tell you that facilities like The Chambliss Center should be expanded and funded and prioritized due to their unique position as a tool in the fight against poverty.”

The HBO film premiered in Chattanooga last week at the Memorial Auditorium, but will be available for home viewing on March 17. It will be free on HBO.com, YouTube, and on EPB On Demand Viewing.

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chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 23

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24 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Tech

rich bailey

Computer Code, Meet City Code Code for America injecting digital mojo into city government

O

K, WHICH KIND OF CODE ARE WE TALKING about here? I’m reasonably certain it’s not about code breakers, code talkers or secret decoder rings. In 2014, Chattanooga is one of ten cities nationwide to receive Code For America Fellows, young natives of the digital realm who will put their skills to work for the city for a year. But is Code For America more about “city codes”—those dry documents that make it possible to enforce building standards and fire safety—or computer code, the endless lines of instructions that make computers and mobile devices more functional than decorative? Is the point of this digital “year of service” making the mechanism of government a little more efficient, or is it about finding some kind of civic killer app, bringing some of the digital mojo of the business startup world into city government? The answer is somewhere between “all of the above” and “wait and see.” I sat down with two of Chattanooga’s three Code For America Fellows at the end of February. For both, it seems Code For America merges two kinds of geekery: civic and technological. At 25, Jason Denizac has a degree in public policy and six years working as a professional web developer under his belt. Jeremia

Code For America is the natural intersection of community organizing at the city level and enhancing citizen involvement in policymaking.”

Kimelman, who turned 26 the day after our interview, was bitten by the community advocacy bug in college and worked in startups after graduating. The third team member, user experience designer Giselle Sperber, had already headed back to San Francisco, and these two were flying out the next day. Kimelman is excited about the city as a manageable intersection of politics and policy. “Politics matters for sure, but policy is directly impacting people’s lives in the way they interact with housing codes or garbage or restaurants or their lives,” he says. “Code For America is the natural intersection of community organizing at the city level and enhancing citizen involvement in policymaking.” “I think there’s a really natural bridge in civic technology,” says Denizac. “In software a lot of times you’ll think in terms of systems and how things fit together. It might be a web server talking to a database. In government you end up with the same thing. There’s a lot of different pieces and moving parts and people and the way that all fits together.” The team spent February in Chattanooga talking with people inside and outside city government about the city’s needs and beginning to synthesize the ideas that emerged from these conversations.

Next, all 30 Fellows will regroup at Code For America headquarters in San Francisco to compare notes. The Chattanooga team might call on other Fellows for specific expertise but will be the primary developers for their project, which they will develop over the next few months and premiere at Code For America’s national conference in October. The Chattanooga team already has some directions in mind and is working to define the project in collaboration with the community. They plan to return to Chattanooga soon, tentatively in April, to test their ideas in a development process that is essentially the same as in commercial software development. “We will be doing an iterative, hypothesis-driven, user-centric development process,” says Kimelman. “We will come up with a hypothesis, develop a prototype—in theory the cheapest prototype we can to validate—test it out and then iterate on that frame.” “It could be a website, back-end systems more to help people providing front-line services, phone systems or text messaging-based systems,” says Denizac. “If you look at the portfolio of past Code For America projects, there are examples of all those.” Community engagement and transparency are big priorites As

their project is developed, the code for it will be open source and will be posted, even in draft form, on a sharing site called github. The team will also post updates on their blog and on Twitter. Code For America’s founder, Jennifer Pahlka—currently serving as U.S. Deputy Chief Technology Officer in the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy— describes the organization’s brand of engagement as bureaucratic activism. Rather than getting politically active or protesting, Denizac says this means “making the bureaucracy and actual facilities of government an attractive place to work in and try to create change and make things work better.” The organization’s mission, according to Kimelman, is to have “better cities built by and for the people who consume services and live in the geography of that area.” The method is to apply the tools and techniques of software development to the issues of the city. “If you think about it, legislation is code,” adds Kimelman. “It just runs on the infrastructure of city hall instead of on a computer.” For more information or to follow the work of Chattanooga’s Code For America Fellows, visit their web site at codeforamerica. org/cities/chattanooga.

Learning Working giving This is the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers Local 175. Connecting Chattanooga for more than 100 years.

chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 25

Let the luck of the Irish take you to the pot ‘o gold at Red Bank Wine & Spirits

Free Will Astrology PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Do you remember being in your mother’s womb? Probably not. But here’s what I know about that time: In the first few weeks after you were conceived, your body grew at a very rapid rate. Once you were born, if you had continued to expand and develop with that much vigor, you would literally have grown to be as big as a mountain by now. So let’s be thankful you slowed down. But I do want to sound an alert and let you know that you are currently in a growth spurt with some metaphorical resemblances to that original eruption. It’s basically a good thing. Just be aware that you may experience growing pains. ARIES (March 21-April 19): “There was another life that I might have had, but I am having this one.” So says a character in Kazuo Ishiguro’s novel The Unconsoled. At this juncture in your life story, Aries, it might be healing for you to make a similar declaration. Now is an excellent moment to say a final goodbye to plot twists that you wished would have happened but never did. To do so will free up stuck energy that will then become available for future projects. You may even awaken to exciting possibilities you haven’t imagined yet.

Come see why we’re the liquor store with a smile...

3849 Dayton Blvd. • Ste. 113 423.877.1787 At the corner of Morrison Springs Road and Dayton Boulevard in the Bi-Lo Shopping Center

rob brezsny

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In May 2011, two Nepali men reached the top of Mt. Everest after a six-week climb. Lakpa Tsheri Sherpa and Sano Babu Sunuwar had prepared an unprecedented way to get back down off the mountain. Strapping themselves to a single parachute, they leaped off and paraglided for 45 minutes, landing near a Sherpa village thousands of feet below the summit. I suggest you look around for a metaphorical version of a shortcut like that, Taurus. Don’t do the next part of the journey the same way you did the previous phase. Take a more direct route. Enjoy an alternate adventure. Give yourself a fresh challenge. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Seeking wisdom and chasing after pleasure are polar opposites, right? You must devote yourself to either one or the other, correct? You can be an enlightened servant of the greater good or else an exuberant hedonist in quest of joy, but not both. True? No. No. No. False. Wrong. Here’s the big-

26 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

raries. Eventually, though, the truth emerged and Shaw was vindicated. I suspect that you Leos will soon experience an event akin to the discovery and confirmation that the platypus is real.

ger truth: Now and then, grace periods come along when you can become smarter and kinder by exploring the mysteries of feeling really good. Can you guess when the next of these grace periods will arrive for you, Gemini? Here’s the answer: It’s here now! CANCER (June 21-July 22): Humans walked on the moon before anyone ever had the simple idea to put wheels on suitcases. Unbelievable, right? Until 1972, three years after astronauts first walked on the lunar surface, travelers in airports and train stations had to carry and drag wheelless containers full of their belongings. I suspect that a comparable out-of-sequence thing may be going on in your own life, Cancerian. In some ways you are totally up-to-date, and in other ways you are lagging behind. Now would be a good time to identify any discrepancies and start correcting them. Metaphorically speaking, I’d love you to have rolling luggage by the next time you take a journey. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Have you ever heard of the Sasquatch, also known as Bigfoot? You know, one of those big, hairy, humanoid beasts that walks upright and lives in dense forests? Scientists assure us that there is no such thing. But then they used to say the same thing about the platypus. It was a myth, they declared; a figment of explorers’ vivid imaginations. A duck-billed, egg-laying mammal simply could not exist. When the respected British zoologist George Shaw claimed there was indeed such a creature, he was mocked by his contempo-

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Kyoka is a Japanese word that means a flower reflected in a mirror. I suggest you use it as a metaphor to help you understand what’s happening in your life right now. Here are some clues to jumpstart your ruminations. Are you more focused on the image of what you love than on what you love? If so, is there anything wrong with that, or is it perfectly fine? Are you more interested in ephemeral beauty that you can admire from afar than in tangible beauty you can actually touch? If so, is there anything wrong with that, or is it perfectly fine? Should you turn away from a dreamy surrogate and turn toward the real thing? If so, why? LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A British researcher poured 300 million facts into a computer program designed to determine the most boring day in history. The winner was April 11, 1954. It was selected because almost nothing important happened except an election in Belgium. I’m wondering if you Libras might reach that level of blah sometime soon. The astrological omens suggest it’s a possibility. And frankly, I hope that’s exactly what happens. You need a break from high adventure and agitated activity. You would benefit from indulging in some downtime that allowed you to luxuriate in silence and stasis. The time has come to recharge your psychic batteries. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You won’t be the recipient of good luck in the coming days. Nor will you experience bad luck or dumb luck or weird luck. No, Scorpio. The serendipitous slew of synchronicities that will slip and slide into your sphere requires a new word, which I have coined for this occasion. That word is “shluck.” Shluck is a cracked yet plucky sort of backwards luck that provides you with an abundance of curious slack. Shluck slings your way a series of happy accidents and curious coincidences that give you experiences you didn’t even realize you needed. To take maximum advantage of shluck’s benefits, you have to dispense

with your agendas and drop your expectations. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In the old fairy tale “Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves,” the poor woodcutter Ali Baba is collecting firewood in the forest when he spies a gang of thieves bragging about their exploits. Observing them from a hiding place, he hears them chant a phrase, “open sesame.” This magically unseals the opening to a cave that happens to be full of their stolen treasure. Later, when the thieves have departed, Ali Baba goes to the cave and says “open sesame” himself. The hocus-pocus works. He slips into the cave and steals a bag of gold from the robbers’ plunder. This story has resemblances to an adventure you could enjoy sometime soon, Sagittarius. I suspect you may discover your own version of “open sesame.” It will give you access to a less literal and more legitimate bounty. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your ability to heal rifts and bridge gaps is unusually high. You could connect seemingly irreconcilable elements and forge apparently impossible links. Former allies who have become estranged might be moved to bond again through your compassionate intervention. I’m not promising amazingly miraculous feats of unification, but I’m not ruling them out, either. You have a sixth sense about how to create interesting mixtures by applying just the right amount of pressure and offering just the right kind of tenderness. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My friend Harry said he wanted to teach me to play golf. “Are you kidding?” I asked him incredulously. “The dullest game on the planet?” He tried to convince me that it would provide lots of interesting metaphors I could use in writing horoscopes. “Name one,” I challenged him. He told me that “Volkswagen” is a slang term that describes what happens when a golfer makes an awkward shot that nevertheless turns out to be quite good. “Hmmm,” I replied. “That is exactly the theme I have decided on for the Aquarius horoscope.” Homework: Name your greatest unnecessary taboo and how you would violate it if it didn’t hurt anyone. Freewillastrology.com

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cdixonattorney@gmail.com 28 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

CONFUSED ABOUT THE NEW HEALTH CARE LAW? WE’RE HERE TO HELP.

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--what can I say? It’s crossword #666.

Just come to one of our meetings. There are no obligations. We’ll answer all your questions and walk you through how to find a plan on the Health Insurance Marketplace that’s right for you. Plus, we’ll give you tips on how you might be able to get cost savings that could significantly lower your monthly payment.

ATTEND A COMMUNITY MEETING

MAR 13 at 3 p.m. Hilton Garden Inn-Hamilton Place 2343 Shallowford Village Dr. Chattanooga, TN 37421

Across 1 ___ Bator (Mongolia’s capital) 5 Part of a war plane 11 Italian or Swiss summit 14 Fantasy sports option 15 Jiddah’s leaned 16 ___ Paulo (Brazil’s most populous city) 17 Bathrooms brimming with lawn clippings? 19 Fashion world star Anna 20 Words prior to “touche” or “tureen” 21 Obvious disdain 23 Wheat bread Pitt almost took away for 2011 26 Appomattox initials 29 Country musician Axetone 30 Just ___, skip and jump away 31 Scandinavian fans of Wiggum’s kid (in Simpsons-iana)? 34 Quantity of bricks? 35 Two from Tijuana 36 Stir things up 37 British artist William with a 1745 portrait of

him and his pug dog 39 Hands out 43 Bangkok bankroll 44 Utmost ordinal 45 Wood that flavors bourbon 46 Thousand dollar bills that fly and roost? 50 1052, to Tacitus 51 Last half of a tiny food contaminant (with first half of, um, you know...) 52 “Two Virgins” musician Yoko 53 Folks who Owen Meany films, say 54 Pang or misgiving 56 Military turndown 59 Big poet for java 60 Location of what to ditch from all long solutions (and from Across/Down hints) for this all to work 66 Yahoo’s stock in 1996, for short 67 Start to unify? 68 Pinocchio, notoriously 69 Brand Ides 70 “Grande” Arizona attraction 71 Vigorous

Down 1 It usually starts with “wee wee wee” 2 Hawaii’s Mauna ___ 3 Off-road transport, for short 4 “Ixnay” (or a conundrum in a tube?) 5 Feat POTUS 6 Jason’s mythical craft 7 Road tripe quorum 8 “I dunno,” in day books 9 “___ for igloo” 10 “Mama” of 1960s pop 11 Part of ASAP 12 Hill who sang “Doo Wop (That Tee-heeing)” 13 Toepieces of discussion 18 “___ Gang” (film shorts with kid “Rascals”) 22 Potful at cook-offs 23 “Right hand on holy book” situation 24 “Buzz off, fly!” 25 Capitol Hill gp. 27 Took a hop 28 Bad guys pursuant of peace, man 31 Latvian-born artist Marek

32 Mila’s “That 70’s Show” costar 33 Code and sealemon, for two 35 Transylvanian count, informally 38 Bubbling, in a way 40 Pro tour sport 41 Unworldly sort 42 Things worn to go downhill fast 46 Fined without fault 47 Hour for a British cup, traditionally 48 Gaucho’s grasslands 49 How you might wax nostalgic 50 Works of art on walls 53 Auction node 55 Meanly, in nouns (abbr.) 57 City on a fjord 58 Prompt jaws to drop, say 61 UFC fighting classification, for short 62 Holm of filmdom 63 Quick shot of brandy 64 Williams with a “Mortal City” album 65 Cook bacon

Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0666

MAR 18 at 5 p.m. The Chattanooga Choo Choo The Finley Lecture Hall 1400 Market St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 To find more community meetings in your area, visit bcbst.com/KnowNow

Deadline for enrollment is March 31

©BlueCross BlueShield of Tennessee, Inc., an Independent Licensee of the BlueCross BlueShield Association. BlueCross BlueShield of Tennessee is a Qualified Health Plan issuer in the Health Insurance Marketplace.

chattanoogapulse.com • March 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 29

BCBS4940_19384_Mrktplc_ChattanoogaPulse_03.12.14.indd 1

3/6/14 4:10 PM

On the Beat

alex teach

Side Job at the Stop-n-Rob Officer Alex reminisces about the good old nights

L

IKE MOST COPS, I WORK A SIDE JOB TO MAKE up for the salary I don’t make as a reasonably intelligent person or a remarkably dumb one with excellent reflexes. I’m the one directing traffic for churches, or walking the mall keeping the peace in between handling shoplifters. I have guarded bar parking lots against after-hours brawls and vehicle break-ins until they were disallowed, and I have escorted diamond shipments from the comfort of my own vehicle. I’ve watched the parking lots of restaurants and bowling alleys, and I’ve even hidden in a few errant kitchens with a shotgun in my hands in expectance of a predicted break-in and more… but nothing and I mean NOTHING has ever been so fulfilling as the times spent in a Section 8-area convenience store. That these stores are operated largely by first-generation East Indians is not just incidental, it is crucial to my enjoyment. They are an economically fierce people, and these are the businessmen and women that take advantage of the loans presented to them and go with it where the market is most demanding, and usually most dangerous.

Deep-fried wings and potato logs were concocted in deep friars behind closed doors, immune to the regulations of known health codes and decency.”

Chain stores cannot operate effectively amidst chaos; they require order for fluid operations, and ‘The Hood’ does not permit the flow of reality that is required by them for this. That leaves a niche to be filled by the daring and the hungry, and in my experience the East Indian immigrant is that hungry operator. Where they falter in their mastery of the English language, they revel in their business acumen and their dedication to the dollar, and most importantly, their willingness to adapt to the most culturally diverse environment possible. Although such a store is not dictated by its relative filth, it is a definite indicator. These stores are signaled by not only their apparent lack of concern for sanitation, but also by the order of their displays in nonaccordance to any flow chart concerning demographics or even relative common sense. Newspapers are located between ice cream and sealed pickles. Hair weaves and hair beads are displayed next to the case of deep-fried wings and potato logs concocted in deep friars behind closed doors, immune to the regulations of known health codes and decency afforded to the most congenial vats of grease and fat.

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RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS 5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162 30 • The Pulse • march 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

If you were still in doubt, you could use the contagion-slicked public restroom, containing a weed-eater to the right of the toilet tank and spare copper pipes to the left. But the real signal to me was always the type of ‘singles’ that were sold over the counter. Single cigarettes, single 12-oz. beers, single Starburst and single Nerds were sold in record numbers and under close scrutiny by clerk and customer alike. Then there was the highlight of most evenings: A dispute with the clerk. “No! It is not two dollar, it is two tirty-nine! It has never been two dollar! It has always been two tirty-nine, de price has never change, yet every night you come in and say dis!” and “No! No, I will not ‘hit you back, dog’! You will pay me now or you will get nutting!” And the all-time best? “Vuck me? No, I don’t tink so. Vuck YOU!”, but even those end well with only minimal intervention, so in all I knew I had a good thing going. Normality doesn’t exist there so the conditions were tolerable, as they always are when you work where some are afraid to frequent but still consider you an equal. The bonds of friendship become twice as strong twice as quickly with the staff and other

people, because they are actually forced to get to know cops as regular folks and occasionally find they like them. I even found myself sad to leave (because no store in the Hood stays open 24 hours, after all), but like all aspects of said Hood, with the exception of the fryer grease, it never truly ends or stops changing, so I always had something to look forward to the next time. Come in and make a purchase, but be quick, and remember: They may not hit you back (dog), but the pickles can’t expire, and the chicken? Well, the chicken is deep-fried and that should be good enough…then be about your way. If loitering were allowed, the cop on the parking lot wouldn’t be there in the first place. When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alexteach

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The Pulse 11.11 » March 13, 2014