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March 6-12

Vol. 11 • No. 11

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Dissent in

district 7 Is Chris Anderson’s homosexuality the real recall issue? We ask both sides.

dr rick love lessons music old time fiddlers arts wedge issue screen lookout wild

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6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com $ • march 1-hour Murad Healthy skin, 2 • The Pulse

INTRODUCTORY

Exclusively featuring

MARCH

Happenings

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Mike McJunkin

THE BOWL: Chattanooga's Jump Park... Fast on the Frisbee (for dogs)

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Art Direction & Design Gary Poole Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • John DeVore Janis Hashe • Dainel Jackson • Matt Jones Marc T. Michael • Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib Gary Poole • Alex Teach

THE LIST: Enjoying a Taste of Chattanooga LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Editorial Interns Madeline Chambliss • Dea Lisica • Leith Tigges

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Cartoonists & Illustrators Tom Tomorrow Photographer/Webmaster Josh Lang Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin

DISSENT IN DISTRICT SEVEN Is Chris Anderson’s homosexuality the real recall issue? By Daniel Jackson

Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Lisa Dicaire • Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer Stacey Tyler • Jerry Ware

Features MUSIC: Old Time Fiddlers’ Convention: Roots Revisited ARTS: Roger Halligan’s new sculpture is an artistic wedge issue

CONTACT

NEW MUSIC REVIEWS: Dva cures winter blues, Jack and Ben Wright celebrate serendipity

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar calendar@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN' CROSSWORD

Voices

GETTING OUT THERE ON FILM Second Lookout Wild Film Festival ramps it up this year By John Devore

DR. RICK: Taking time to reflect on the quality of relationships ALEX TEACH: Pondering a new generation of non-coffee-loving police

chattanoogapulse.com • March 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 3

BOWL

THE

chattanooga’s weekly alternative NEWS • COMMENTARY • BULLETINS & PUSH NOTIFICATIONS AT DIAL-UP SPEED facebook/chattanoogapulsE • TWITTER @CHATTAPULSE EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Chattanooga’s Jump Park

Bounce Time Nestled comfortably on downtown’s Chestnut Street among corporate buildings and businesses sits Chattanooga’s highly anticipated (and first) indoor trampoline park. The Jump Park’s “soft opening” occurred Feb. 22, but it will hold an official opening on Mar. 6, welcoming customers to its 20,000-square-foot space, which also features a snack bar and game room. The park, although just opened, is already extremely popular among Chattanooga residents. It’s garnered more than 1,700 likes to its Facebook page and rave reviews after only being open for a matter of days. Comments and questions cover the colorful webpage with queries about birthday party package information, dodge ball tournaments and reservations. The Southside location is just the first of many upcoming businesses centered on local entertainment. Come April, the Chattanooga Brewing Co. will take up residence next door to The Jump Park. That’s right, entertainment will hit its peak this year with both beer and trampolines to choose from. The Jump Park offers an hour of fun for $12 ($8 for children under the age of 6.) Small kids can burn off that extra energy (and parents can even jump for free between the hours of 11 a.m. – 1 p.m.). Walk-ins are encouraged and reservations can also soon be made for families and friends. Sign the waiver, take off your shoes and jump local. — Leith Tigges

Sports for Dogs

Fast On the Frisbee With longer days and warmer weather around the corner, favorite outdoor activities will once again be ours to enjoy. For those with dogs that love to run around outside or play endless rounds of fetch, there’s a new sporting event perfect for a morning date with your canine friend. Debbie Tringale, founder/owner of Me and My Dogs, has created Recreational Dog Sports, a series of agility, disc dog, and flyball events that allow dogs to play sports without the stress of competition or getting a “title”

4 • The Pulse • march 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

running interference. According to Tringale, “It’s a great opportunity for new people to learn the skills of a dog sport in a noncompetitive setting.” Dogs have the option of being scored, but their owners decide whether or not they wish to share their dog’s results. Tringale’s “additive point” scoring system allows one point to be awarded “each time the handler and dog team successfully executes in their sport.” Owners don’t have to be skilled coaches in any of the sports in order for their dog to participate. On Mar. 8 and Apr. 19, there will be “training seminars” inside Circle A Arena in Rising Fawn, Ga. Special, easy, and hard classes will all be led by experienced trainers who will teach the game, explain the rules, and provide the equipment. Events will start on May 10 and will be held on the “Second Saturday” of each month. The arena has plenty of parking, bleachers to cheer on your dog, and cabins for those planning weekend trips. Training classes will start at 9 a.m. and run until noon. Doors will open at 8 a.m. with registration beginning at 8:15 a.m. The cost is $30 per dog. For more information and to register your dog, visit MeAndMyDogs.biz/RDS Circle A Arena is located at 1379 Newsome Gap Rd., Rising Fawn, Ga. — Madeline Chambliss

LIST

THE

pulse » PICKS

• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

Partying with a (Tasty) Purpose For those of you who schedule shopping trips to coincide with free sample days and skip meals in favor of stuffing your belly with amuse-bouche-size food, this is the event for you. On Mar. 6, from 5 – 8 p.m., Taste returns “for another tasty year” to benefit the Kidney Foundation of the Greater Chattanooga Area, featuring “some of the best local cuisine, music and couture Chattanooga has to offer.” Organizers explain that tickets include a free drink in your very own souvenir wine glass, as many mini-bites as your heart desires, and an evening of entertainment including live music to “make the party hop” by local musician Ryan Oyer, demonstrations by Chattanooga’s top chefs of their “most

fabulous dishes,” and wandering models flaunting fashions from local boutiques. A cash bar will also be available. Whether you’re a foodaholic, musicaholic, shopaholic or some combination thereof, Taste offers something for you in the spirit of supporting a good cause—a party with a purpose. — Dea Lisica Taste of Chattanooga Thursday, 5-8 p.m. $35 in advance, $40 at the door. Stratton Hall, 3146 Broad St. (423) 265-0771, tastechatt.com

JASON ISBELL

Specail Guest Amanda Shires SATURDAY • MARCH 15 DOORS @ 8PM • SHOW @ 9PM $17 ADVANCE • $20 DAY OF

THU3.06

fri3.07

sat3.08

LIVE ON THE RADIO

IMPROV-A-LOT

PICKIN' AND GRINNIN'

Scenic City Roots

Wide Open Floor

Matt Bednarsky & Cory Bishop

• Chattanooga's monthly live music showcase features Dave Eggar & Deoro with special guest The Craig St. Ramblers, The Gibson Brothers, Birds with Fleas, and Los Colognes. 7 p.m. • Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, track29.co

• Marcus's monthly madness returns, with the usual and unusual cast of characters. You never know who or what you'll see (and it's still only $5). 8 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org

• This talented pair of Nashville-based singer-songwriters come to town for an evening of songmanship. 7 p.m. • The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com

DEE-DA-DEE Carlos Mencia • One of the most successful comedians of the past decade, Mencia brings his unique sense of the absurd to the Catch for a weekend of shows guaranteed to make you laugh. Be warned: this show is not for the easily offended. 7:30 p.m. • The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, the comedycatch.com

BATTLE OF THE BANDS Road To Nightfall •The first round of the "battle" to get a featured slot in the summer concert series kicks off with Scenic, Birds With Fleas, The Scarlet Love Conspiracy, Okinawa, Iron Fez, Socro, and Danimal Planet. Come root for your favorite or just enjoy a great night of music. 8:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com

SWITCHFOOT

with Kopecky Family Band THURSDAY • MARCH 13 DOORS @ 7:30PM • SHOW @ 8:30PM $22 ADVANCE • $25 DAY OF

INDIGO GIRLS

with Hannah Thomas MONDAY • MARCH 17 DOORS @ 7PM • SHOW @ 8PM $30 ADVANCE • $35 DAY OF

HUFFING AND PUFFING MES Presents “Big Bad Wolves” • A series of brutal murders puts the lives of three men on a collision course: The father of the latest victim now out for revenge, a vigilante police detective operating outside the boundaries of law, and the main suspect in the killings, a religious studies teacher arrested and released due to a police blunder. 8:30 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org

MOTIONLESS IN WHITE LIKE MOTHS TO FLAMES TUESDAY • MARCH 18 DOORS @ 6:30PM • SHOW @ 7:30PM $16 ADVANCE • $18 DAY OF

MORE SHOWS @ TRACK29.CO

3 WAYS TO PURCHASE TICKETS TRACK29.CO • (423) 521-2929 BOX OFFICE OPEN 10AM - 6PM EVERY FRIDAY

chattanoogapulse.com • March 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 5

“It’s great to start working, to stop thinking and start doing, it’s a purifying experience.” - Amanda Brazier

4 Bridges 2014 Poster Artist

for the love of art Thursday, May 8 • $35 Advance • $40 Day Of On Sale Friday at 10AM via Track29.co • Box Office • (423) 521-2929

4 BRIDGES ARTS FESTIVAL

tm

april 11-13 2014 4bridgesartsfestival.org

6 • The Pulse • march 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Shrink Rap

rick pimental-habib, Ph.d

Long-Term Love Lessons: They’re All Around Us Taking time to reflect on the quality of relationships

T

HIS MONTH IS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH, AND, as tends to happen, I find myself spending more time than usual in reflection. Birthdays have a way of encouraging that, don’t they? Much like at New Year’s, I feel a sense of moving onward, with an evaluation of what’s gone before and a gradual but unmistakable shift toward my intentions for what’s ahead. I fully agree with George Bernard Shaw’s belief that “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.” And perhaps there’s no better time to ponder the fascinating, complex creation that is you than at your birthday. I also agree with the ol’ Will Rogers sentiment: “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there!” And this leads me to reflect upon relationships. Perhaps one of the most important and valued aspects of being human is found in the quality of our relationships. From our sig others and family relationships to our good friendships, mild acquaintances and co-workers, relationships form the living, evolving fabric of our lives. They reflect back to us who we are, and how we think of ourselves. I regularly remind people I work with how important it is to surround ourselves with the relationships that bring happiness, show concern, and leave room for who we are and who we are not. A basic self-esteem philosophy is this: if you feel good about yourself, re-

Perhaps there’s no better time to ponder the fascinating, complex creation that is you than at your birthday.”

spect and care for yourself, then the people who are close to you will reflect that. On the other hand, if your long-term self-worth is suffering, then you’ll tend to surround yourself with people who reflect that—treating you with a lack of care or consideration. In other words, we teach others how to treat us based upon how we feel about ourselves. If we feel we are deserving of good stuff— relationships included—then that’s what we attract. As I ponder relationships, I am aware of their organic-ness, and how we can’t “just sit there” when it comes to the health of these involvements, even when they’re “on the right track.” They really do require tending. Perhaps you can relate: Take a moment to think about the relationships in your own life. Some are probably rolling along beautifully, providing just what fills you— be that love, or someone to confide in, a pal to have fun with or family members to walk through life with. Some, perhaps, have a few snags, some wrinkles that need ironing out. These may concern you, but you know that when the timing’s right, you’ll talk out your issues and get back on track. And others may be a mess: painful or toxic, perhaps marked by anger or resentment, sadness or confusion. The good news is that everything changes, eventually. And if you wish to fully participate in creating your-

self, there are always new ways to discover what is required of you in order to keep your relationships healthy and happy. If you’re open to them, the lessons for finding, creating and maintaining fulfilling relationships are, I believe, all around you. They may come from conversations with a counselor or spiritual advisor. They may be found in some wonderful book you’re reading, or by watching what brings joy to a child’s face, or in hearing the wisdom of an elder. Or they may come from your dogs. While pondering the state of the relationships in my own life, I realize that one of the most joy-filled long-term relationships I have is the one with my goofy, sweet, unconditionally loving Boston Terrier, Betty Lou (who just had a birthday herself, on Valentine’s Day no less...can you stand it?). We have a new relationship in the household as well: a rescue puppy who’s a lively mix of Boston and who-knows-what. (Some of you might remember reading about this pair in a recent Shrink Rap, “Mindful Is As Mindful Does.”) Anyway, they both offer up plenty of love lessons. And right as my birthday approaches, what better gift than to be reminded of what we can learn from these wonderful creatures about keeping healthy, long-term relationships alive? So here’s what the Universe sent my way:

Ten Valuable Things Dogs Can Teach Us About Relationships: 1. Forgive mistakes. 2. Make everyday special. 3. Show love in big and small ways. 4. Be loyal. 5. Give each other some space. 6. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. 7. Avoid biting when growling will do. 8 .Trust your instincts. 9 .When loved ones come home, always greet them. 10. Things don’t matter; time together does. And as it happens, this month’s healing retreat at my wellness center, Well Nest, is about the connectedness of us all. It’s happening Saturday, March 8. Visit the website or email me for more info and to register. Until next time, from dog whisperer Cesar Millan: “Start by becoming a pack leader in your own world and healing your own world, and the effects will ripple.” Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga. com and follow his daily inspirations on Twitter: @DrRickWellNest

Love at first sight chattanoogapulse.com • March 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 7

“ Dissent in

district 7 Is Chris Anderson’s homosexuality the real recall issue? We ask both sides.

8 • The Pulse • march 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

No other member of the council who voted for the ordinance faces recall. ‘Not all five of them, just the gay one.’

Talk to Chattanooga Councilman Chris Anderson and he’ll tell you who is working to yank him prematurely from office: the Tea Party and Charlie Wysong, an advocate for conservative, Judeo-Christan policies. Anderson served less than one year of his four-year term before a petition started circulating in his district seeking a recall. If the organizers get enough signatures— about 1,600—then Anderson will face another election in August. In response, the openly gay Anderson filed a lawsuit against the Hamilton Country Election Commission because the effort “did cause a recall to move forward for discriminatory purposes and in violation of the rights given individuals such as Councilman Anderson under the Tennessee and United States Constitution.” That lawsuit was filed in Hamilton County Court Feb. 17. The lawsuit was created for two purposes says Stuart James, Anderson’s attorney: To stop the recall, but to also explore the larger issue of recalls. Can someone be recalled because they are gay? What if they are Jewish or black? Perhaps because they are Christian? James is excited for this case. There have been only a few times in his career where he argued a case that is “questions of first impression,” a situation that questions a new portion of the law, he says. “I don’t mind being wrong, but I hope I’m right,” he says. When he was with Anderson during the Election Commission’s meeting to approve the petition, James says the commission was looking for a lawsuit because the law in this instance is vague and there is no precedent. “I think the Election Commission wants this answered too,” he says.

History behind the recall The recall effort began just weeks after the city council approved an ordinance for domestic partner (including same-sex) benefits, an ordinance which Anderson introduced. No other member of the council who voted for the ordinance faces recall. “Not all five of them, just the gay one,” Anderson says. But this does not mean this story has clear antagonists and protagonists. According to the leaders behind the recall effort, it’s based on how Anderson has treated the poor neighborhoods of his district. It’s impossible to ignore, however, that at least part of the recall’s energy is fueled by opposition to Anderson’s sexual orientation. According to copies of the petition, signatures are collected at 202 West 38th Street. Travel to that address, and you’ll find Southside Market, a convenience store selling everything from canned beans, to beer, to pictures of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. On this visit, market owner, Mahmood Abdullah asked two women who entered the store, “Are you registered to vote?” One says she is. “Go sign the petition,” he says. “You know who Chris Anderson is?” She doesn’t know. This, for Abdullah, is a sign of how outof-touch the politician is from the community. Chris Anderson once walked into the store, past the peeling sign, through the door set with metal security bars, but that was only when he was on the campaign trail, says Abdullah. He listened to Anderson’s platform—safe streets, strong neighborhoods, good jobs—and decided to place a sign outside his business supporting the candidate. Abdullah says he knew Anderson was gay, that it was a well-known fact during the campaign against incumbent councilman Manny Rico. “He ran as an openly gay

man. He was elected as an openly gay man. He has not done what he was elected to do,” says Teresa Wood, the manager of the petition’s Facebook page. She lives in St. Elmo. And according to Abdullah, the recall is not backed by the Tea Party. “No, we don’t support the Tea Party. We treat him [Charlie Wysong, a Tea Party member] like an individual,” he says Yet you can’t talk about this recall without talking about Charlie Wysong. With the petition to recall Anderson, he seems to be everywhere: at the Election Commission Meeting, listed as one of the defendants on the lawsuit, at a press conference where several pastors decried Anderson’s “moral agenda.” For Anderson, Wysong is the strongest evidence that the Tea Party is behind his recall. Wysong is not a resident of District 7, and strongly open about his views of homosexuality. Asked about his connection to the recall effort: “Let me put it this way: I am a campaign consultant,” Wysong says over coffee at Shoneys. He helped create the petition in a format that conforms to most of the rules for state and city laws, and he created a plan to collect the 1,600 signatures. “They run it other than that,” he says. Wysong has been involved in two petitions in the city’s past: The recall of Mayor Ron Littlefield, and the petition to decide the domestic partner ordinance by referendum. A little less than a week after the second petition was launched in November, Abdullah called Wysong, asking him for help to recall Anderson. Wysong agreed, but said he would help after he finished the petition drive to decide the domestic partner ordinance by referendum. He agreed to help Abdullah because it’s “consistent with my beliefs. I’m for removing someone who brings a domestic ordinance upon this city,” he says. It’s statements like that that prove to Anderson the recall is discriminatory. “Generally, they can’t help themselves,” Anderson said, because anti-gay rhetoric creeps into the debate over the recall

Some of Anderson’s constituents were unsatisfied with his representation even before the domestic partner ordinance.

and words like “sodomite and an abomination” are used. “They’ve revealed the true reason,” he says. According to Stuart James, the councilman delayed his lawsuit to include the statements by a group of pastors Feb. 17. The pastor of The Church of The First Born called a press conference to speak “against (Anderson’s) moral agenda.” An emergency kept the pastor from speaking at the press conference, but his son, Jonathan Johnson, the youth minister for the church, spoke. While the church is in District 7, its pastors live outside the district. Its congregation is a mix of people who live inside and out. According to the pastors, the new ordinance violated the conscience of the church because now taxes are supporting something contrary to their beliefs. “It’s conflicting with our faith, and we can’t support that,” Johnson stated. It was a move he says a representative from a diverse district should not have made. “Now you’re not interested in all people, including their faith background,” he says. He added the church has nothing against Anderson’s homosexuality. “That’s his business and that’s his choice.” Some of Anderson’s constituents were unsatisfied with his representation even before the domestic partner ordinance. According to the minutes of the Sept. 17 city council meeting, Gill Schropshire, president of the Alton Park/Piney Woods Neighborhood Association, stood up in the meeting and asked, “what Councilman Anderson has planned for the neighborhoods in which he represents.” Council Chairman Yusuf Hakeem told him to speak with Anderson after the meeting, and Schropshire did. At this same meeting, Wysong complained about a gay pride

rally held over Labor Day weekend. Wysong told the council, “Government, like individuals, are accountable to God, and that which God declares as sin, we cannot make legal.” According to Stuart James, Anderson talked to him about what he could do about Wysong’s remarks. In the end, says James, “Chris made the decision to bear it, and not be too active.” At the next city council meeting Sept. 24, Anderson moved to approve a resolution allowing the Alton Park/Piney Woods Neighborhood Association the ability to temporarily erect a sign and beautify their neighborhood in the 3300 block of Alton Park Boulevard. Schropshire was mentioned specifically in the resolution’s title. But on Oct. 15, Schropshire stood once more before the council to say Anderson did not return phone calls to members of the community. Schropshire again spoke to Anderson after the meeting. This time, it did not go well, he told The Pulse. In this meeting, Anderson told the neighborhood president that he didn’t have to speak with him, that he embarrassed him. It was then when Schropshire says Anderson referred to him as “uncivil” and “uneducated.” Soon after, Schropshire says, “the community” decided to recall Anderson. According to Schropshire, when Anderson campaigned in the district, he was told to represent the low-income areas. If he didn’t, “We’ll fire you. You won’t be in there one year,” says Schropshire. In past elections, two candidates were on the ballot against incumbent Manny Rico, and split their votes. During the most recent election, “We had another candidate that we could have put in there, but he’s like me. I don’t like politics,” Schropshire says.

What happens now Anderson says he represents a diverse district. Between January and October 2013, the economic development office met with various representatives of Alton Park about 10 times, according to an email from Anderson. During these meetings, people from the community asked for city money, despite it being in the middle of a budget year, and in violation of other budget procedures. Anderson says the people from the community just didn’t get the answers they wanted during those meetings. Now, they are being pushed forward by Wysong to cover his anti-gay agenda, he says. But for Schropshire, the recall is a sign that the community is beginning to organize. “I’m so proud and glad we can get together and stand as one,” he says. As of press time, there are only 300 of the needed 1,600 signatures on the recall petition. When the petition for his recall was launched, Anderson called his district’s neighborhood association presidents. “Not one of them was for the recall,” he said. “I am doubtful that they’ll find that many people to sign it.” In the coming weeks, the Hamilton County Court will decide if the Election Commission violated Anderson’s constitutional rights. Meanwhile, the residents of District 7 will wait.

chattanoogapulse.com • March 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 9

Music

MARC T. MICHAEL

Old Time Fiddlers’ Convention: Roots Revisited

Save March 15 for the best pickin’ around

W

HEN I FIRST ANNOUNCED MY INTENTION TO MOVE to Chattanooga more than two decades ago, a friend of mine, a lifelong Chattanooga native, sent me a postcard. On the back it said: “What’s the difference between Chattanooga and a cup of yogurt? The yogurt has an active culture.” This was 1992 and my friend was being facetious. Chattanooga was, at that time, in the early stages of a modern cultural renaissance that has bloomed over the course of the last two decades, but the city already had a long history of significant cultural contributions. The Chattanooga Old Time Fiddlers’ Convention is one such example and it all started with a perceived slight. In 1925, auto magnate Henry Ford, a fan of “Old Time” music, had been hosting fiddlers and square dancers at his home in Michigan for some time. This attracted a fair amount of talent, including Mr. Mellie Dunham of Maine who was soon being hailed as the “champion fiddler” of the U.S. Tales of a Northern usurper claiming such a title without first having faced the best of what the South had to offer incensed local promoter J.H. Gaston, who was quoted in the Chattanooga Times as saying, “How can a Yankee claim to know as much about fiddling as a ‘born fiddler’ from here in the Tennessee Valley where the art of old time fiddling originated?”

honest music

Gaston’s plan was simple. He would sponsor a competition to determine the best fiddler in the South and then send him up against Mr. Ford’s boy from Maine. That first event was held at the court house and Harrison resident “Sawmill” Tom Smith emerged the victor. Soon after that, Gaston dispatched a telegram to Ford asking him to tune in to local radio station WDOD at a particular time and date to hear Smith and learn what “real fiddling by a real fiddler” sounded like. Ford’s reaction to that may not be known, but the local reaction was nothing short of astounding. A mere two years later the event had grown to more than 5,000 attendees and moved to the newly constructed Memorial Auditorium. By this time, the event had been renamed the All Southern Championship and was essentially THE contest of note, the big daddy of them all. The winner was crowned Champion Fiddler of the South and the biggest and best names of the day made it a point to attend and compete. The event continued for more than a decade until the fuel rationing of World War II put an end to it and events like it across the country. That would be the end of our story if it weren’t for the efforts of a fellow named Matt Downer. Matt is best known as half of local duo The

local and regional shows

Big Daddy Love & Groovekid [$5] Soul Mechanic & Skymatic [$5]

Thu, Mar 6 9pm Thu, Mar 13 9pm

Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pm Sun, March 9 @ 7pm : Mythical Motors & Clockwork Kids [FREE]

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint

10 • The Pulse • march 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Old Time Travelers, reviewed in this very column some months back. At the time, my impression of Matt and his partner Clark Williams was that they were nothing if not authentic, the living embodiment of the music they play. I stand by that assertion and if the proof is in the pudding, then here’s a particularly large helping of it: In 2010, Matt took it upon himself (in partnership with the Crisp family and Lindsay Street Hall) to revive the Fiddlers’ Convention here in Chattanooga. The feedback from the community (including scholars, historians, musicians and listeners) has been wonderful. The event continues to grow annually, attracting more and more spectators and competitors every year. True to his nature, Matt has taken great pains to ensure the event is as faithful to its historical predecessor as possible. There are no amplifiers, no electrified instruments; the playing styles and tunes must be “old time.” Competitions will be held for fiddle, banjo, string band, dance and traditional singing.

Between the Sleeves

record reviews • ernie paik

Winter Survival, Father-andSon Improv Exploration Dva cures winter blues, Jack and Ben Wright celebrate serendipity

No microphones, no amplification, just some of the best old time musicians from the Southeast coming together to whoop it up and celebrate old time music and our local heritage.”

Doors open at noon on March 15 at Lindsay Street Hall and admission is $10. In addition to the competitions, there will be performances by special guests Leroy Troy and Mick Kinney as well as the inevitable impromptu jam sessions (pickin’ on the porch?). Regardless of your pedigree and whether or not you are a picker or a listener, there is something here for everyone, including a healthy dose of civic pride when you realize that 90 years after that first convention the best in the land are once again coming to our town to prove it. With that, I’d like to leave you with a few words from Mr. Downer himself: “There is no other event like this anywhere. It is all old time music presented in an unfiltered, undiluted state. No microphones, no amplification, just some of the best old time musicians from the Southeast coming together to whoop it up and celebrate old time music and our local heritage.”

Dva Nipomo (Northern Spy)

T

he Czech sibling duo known as Dva (which appropriately means “two” in Czech, and not to be confused with the Hyperdub dance act DVA), composed of multi-instrumentalists sister Bára Kratochvílová and brother Jan Kratochvíl, is a pleasant surprise of an oddity, creating adventurous, ear-bending pop music. Seemingly unfettered by expectations, Dva has meticulously and professionally crafted in its home studio its latest album Nipomo—its first to be released domestically—simultaneously with a friendly demeanor and weird, stirring musical bristles. Subtitled “How to Survive Winter,” Nipomo has a jittery, brimming-with-caffeine energy level, with elements that aren’t easy to place, fusing musique concrete and field recordings into ostensibly pop pieces. Winter survival apparently involves creating a new summer-set, rosy

Jack Wright / Ben Wright As If Anything Could Be the Same (Relative Pitch) fantasy world, and this world is far from expected sources, free from traditional eastern European motifs. Even the sung language evokes a strange land, being completely invented by the group. On “Mulatu,” the vocals are more akin to Yoko Ono-esque avant-wailings and Japanese childlike bratty singsongy outbursts, rather than blissful fabricated tongues of Cocteau Twins or Sigur Rós; add a world-fusion Talking Headsesque vibe and a free jazz sax solo to the track, because, why not? Bára often harmonizes with herself, offering a split personality in the mid-range and highrange, and the wild, uninhibited singing might be a dealbreaker for some with a low tolerance for shrill vocals. The instrumentation on Nipomo is admirably wide, using unusual rhythm loops, strummed strings, reeds, melodicas, ukes and electronics, and it all comes

across like some bizarre crazy quilt made of microchips, animal bones and brightly colored cake frosting. Perhaps the peak of the album is the uncanny “Zoppe,” which casts a happiness spell and forces the listener to smile compulsively. It’s a cure for winter blues, with the sounds of traditions being broken and an imagined Martian beach party, formed by a vivid creative spirit.

F

ree improvisation—playing without a genre in mind— can be simultaneously the easiest and the most difficult music method: easiest, because no sound or note is objectively “wrong,” and difficult, because a performer must be constantly inventing and re-inventing. In light of this, in the liner notes of the new album As If Anything Could Be the Same, saxophonist Jack Wright discusses his musical interactions

with his son, contrabassist Ben Wright, saying, “We don’t know what will work until it does.” The notion of serendipity is important in free improv, as it can be in pure science, where discoveries such as the usefulness of penicillin and saccharin were made unintentionally. However, serendipity is not pure chance and disorder; the people involved must have the skills necessary to facilitate the situation, along with the wisdom or intuition to recognize something special when it happens. In the case of Jack and Ben Wright, serendipity is nourished by experience and considerable technical ability. A major figure in free improv since the ’70s, Jack Wright sounds like he’s pushing himself more than ever, with formidable chops and the imagination to articulate complicated and unconventional sounds, from nimble flutters, to animalistic wild boar snorts, to string-like or even car-alarm sounds. Ben Wright has no trouble keeping up with his father, creating immense variation in timbre and volume and exploring the subtleties of friction, with expressive scrapes and wisps. In very basic terms, improvisation is a “give and take,” but that’s too simplistic a way to describe it. Jack Wright explains, “We don’t imitate, converse, or follow, and we can only pretend to ignore each other.” A simple call-and-response method is not at work here, and there aren’t big, obvious crests and dips of sound; the synthesis happens on a deeper level, where both players are constantly challenging each other and themselves, neither leading nor following.

chattanoogapulse.com • March 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 11

Chattanooga Live

CHATTANOOGA

MUSIC CALENDAR

Hammell On Trial

LIVE MUSIC

MARCH

ROGER ALAN WADE THU 8:30p with CHRIS EMERSON & TY BENNETT

ROAD TO NIGHTFALL SIX BANDS VIE FOR THEIR SHOT

Lon Eldridge

6

FRI 7 @ 8P SAT 8 @ 8P

11 423PK FUNDRAISER THU 9p 13 WE WERE PROMISED

JETPACKS

with HONEYBLOOD / 18+ show

TUE 8p

THREE GREAT BANDS, GREAT CAUSE

FRI 14 @ 8P ROAD TO NIGHTFALL SAT 15 @ 8P SIX BANDS VIE FOR THEIR SHOT!

17 THU 8p 20

THE COMMUNICATORS MON 8p ST. PATS SPECIAL with EIGHT KNIVES

GLASS HAMMER

THE PROG-ROCK LEGENDS RETURN!

3.21 ROAD TO NIGHTFALL FINALS 3.22 FLY BY RADIO 3.26 LIVINGROOM ACOUSTIC SERIES

COMING SOON

UNKNOWN HINSON SAT 9:30p 29 with FIFTH ON THE FLOOR

CHRIS KNIGHT

WED SPECIAL ACOUSTIC PERFORMANCE 9p

2

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

THUrsday3.6 Ryan Oyer 5 p.m. Stratton Hall, 3146 Broad St. (423) 667-4332, strattonhall.com Lee University Senior Recital: Zachary Carpenter & Kelsey Duttlinger 6 p.m. Lee University Humanities Building, 1250 Parker St. NE, Cleveland. (423) 614-8240, leeuniversity.edu Red Bank Bluegrass Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Church of the Nazarene, 6310 Dayton Blvd. (423) 842-5919, chattanoogagrace.com Forever Bluegrass 7 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 301 Manufacturers Blvd. (423) 702-7300, boxcarforeverbluegrass.com Scenic City Roots 7 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, track29.co Priscilla and Little Rickee 7 p.m. The Flying Squirrel Bar, 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980, flyingsquirrelbar.com Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Beppe Gambetta 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs

12 • The Pulse • march 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org UTC Symphony Orchestra Spring Concert 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4269, utc.edu Big Daddy Love, Groovekid 8 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Roger Alan Wade, Chris Emerson, Ty Bennett 8:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Open Mic with Hap Henniger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Battle of the Bands Finale 9 p.m. Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 521-2966, chattazooga.com Ryan Oyer, Hamell On Trial, Danimal, Butch Ross 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

friday 3.7 Johnny Cash Tribute Show 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, choochoo.com Cowboy Gospel Jubilee 7 p.m. Cleveland Cowboy Church, 3040 Blythe Rd. Cleveland. (423) 476-7936, clevelandcowboychurch.com

Mike Phillips 7 p.m. Becky’s Restaurant and Spirits, 2503 Westside Dr. (423) 485-3873 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Music At St. Paul’s Artist Series Concert: Duo 2/ Bach To The Future 7:30 p.m. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 266-8195, stpaulschatt.homestead.com Amy Oaks Recital 7:30 p.m. Cadek 200 Assembly Hall, 725 Oak St., Room 201. (423) 425-4624, utc.edu/cadek-conservatory College Band Night 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Wide Open Floor 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Mountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 866-3252, southeasttennessee.com Rough Work 8 p.m. Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 521-2966, chattazooga.com Husky Burnette 8 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739,

jackaschopshopsaloon.com Road To Nightfall 8:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Lon Eldridge 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Day’s Inn) (423) 634-9191 Wye Oak, Future Islands, Ed Schrader’s Music Beat 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

saturday 3.8 Olta 11 a.m., 12:30 p.m. Rock City Gardens, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531, seerockcity.com Pay the Reckoning 2, 4 p.m. Rock City Gardens, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531, seerockcity.com Johnny Cash Tribute Show 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd.. #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Matt Bednarsky & Cory Bishop, The Sleeping Policeman 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427

Chattanooga Live

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

MUSIC CALENDAR Jennifer Daniels

Heidi Howe

Thursday, March 6: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, March 7: 9pm Lon Eldridge Saturday, March 8: 10pm Smooth Hound Smith (from Nashville) Tuesday, March 11: 7pm Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com EG Kight 7 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club East, The Tropicana Room, 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883, cbcburns.com Michelle Holder 7 p.m. The Station House, 1400 Market St. (800) 872-2529, choochoo.com UTC Senior Recital: Trevor Hayes 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4269, utc.edu Exit 60 8 p.m. Sky Zoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 521-2966, chattazooga.com Heidi Howe 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, christunity.org DJ Hi$e Cold, Natural Habitz, Strata-G Benefit for Daniel Webb 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 265-8711 Arson 8 p.m. Magoo’s, 3658 Ringgold Rd. (423) 867-1351 Husky Burnette 8 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com Road to Nightfall 8:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644,

rhythm-brews.com Bad Tattoo 9 p.m. Cleveland Elks Lodge #1944, 235 2nd St. NE, Cleveland. (423)476-5781, elks.org Smooth Hound Smith 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Future Virgins, One Timers, Gold Plated Gold 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

sunday 3.9 John Lathim & Michelle Young 11 a.m., 12:30 p.m. Rock City Gardens, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531, seerockcity.com Aunt Betty 1 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com Jennifer Daniels 2, 4 p.m. Rock City Gardens, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531, seerockcity.com Irish Music Jam Session 5 p.m. Enzo’s Market, 1501 Long St. (423) 486-9312, enzosmarket.com Tir Asleen, Placeholder, Young and Heartless, Clay Cages, Light the Avenue 6:30 p.m. Cloud Springs Deli, 4097 Cloud Springs Rd. (706) 956-8128,

cloudspringsdeli.com Sunday Jam 7 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 265-8711 Blind Draw 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com

monday3.10 Music Monday 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 Big Band Night 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Southside Casual Classics 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com

tuesday 3.11 We Were Promised Jetpacks, Honeyblood 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Open Mike with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996, tremonttavern.com Ghost Trees 9 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org The Ongoing Concept,

Kingdom of Giant, 7 p.m. Cloud Springs Deli, 4097 Cloud Springs Rd. (706) 956-8128, cloudspringsdeli.com Copper into Steel, Slim Pickins 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Join us on Facebook

wednesday 3.12 Wednesday Night Jam Session 6 p.m. Enzo’s Market, 1501 Long St. (423) 486-9312, enzosmarket.com Lon Eldridge & The Suitcase Junket 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Roger Alan Wade 7 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Ter. (423) 710-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com Aether Realm, Naming Nations 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

house ground wagyu beef burger • fries $10

10

celebrating delicious years!

m-th 5-9:30pm • fri-sat 5-10pm 1278 market st • 423.266.4400

chattanoogapulse.com • March 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 13

Arts

rich bailey

New and Neolithic Roger Halligan’s new sculpture is an artistic wedge issue

C

HATTANOOGA’S BIENNIAL SCULPTure Exhibition is back for its sixth show, placing seven new pieces of outdoor sculpture around the city in a temporary exhibit that will remain in place for 18 months. Chattanooga artist Roger Halligan has a piece in the show. It’s called “Wedged,” and its look is both new and neolithic.

"Wedged" by Rodger Halligan

14 • The Pulse • march 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Two separate pieces stand about eight feet tall, separated by a few inches and almost geometrically parallel to each other. Perpendicular cuts through each piece align, forming a north-south-east-west directional axis. Each piece is wedge shaped, and together they form a larger wedge. The space between the two is very regular, almost draftsmanlike, while the cuts through each piece are strongly curved and become narrower as they go deeper into the shapes, almost like they were cut into the material with a wedge-shaped blade. The tops of both pieces are irregular, like ax blades worn by years of use. Their surfaces are scratched and scrubbed, covered with a green bronze patina. Halligan talked to me about his sculpture last week at its new home, while walkers and tourists passed by on the First Street pedestrian way between Market Street and the Walnut Street Bridge. “Wedges are one of the earliest tools,” says Halligan. “They became axes. They became inclined planes, all sorts of things. And they’ve appeared and reappeared in my art over many years. These have kind of a tool-like look to them. There are major cuts in both of them that are identical. In fact, you can actually see through one and see the identical thing through the other. You get a kind of figurative look, too in that they become wedges.” Although he has his own associations that arise from the abstract shapes, he says, “What other people want to associate with it is entirely up to them.” For him, the wedges become the mountains surrounding Chattanooga, the cuts in the pieces are reminiscent of the city’s tunnels, and the space between the two pieces could easily be the river. And the wedge shape itself is compelling. “I like the contradiction of what a wedge is,” he says. “It forces things apart but it

For him, the wedges become the mountains surrounding Chattanooga, the cuts in the pieces are reminiscent of the city’s tunnels, and the space between the two pieces could easily be the river.”

also gets stuck in there, too. If you’ve ever split wood and didn’t quite make it through that one piece of wood, an hour later you’re still trying to get the wedge out of the wood.” As we talked a few feet from the sculpture, a woman circled around it for a few minutes with her dog, then gave him big thumbs up. To me, this piece looks very different from his other recent sculptures I have seen, which are single uprights that combine rock-like shapes and painted surfaces. “In some ways it is a departure, in some ways it’s touching back to earlier work,” he says. “When I got out of graduate school I was working in very minimal geometric shapes in painted, welded steel.” After grad school he worked for many years at the North Carolina Zoo designing natural habitat exhibits. He left the zoo in 1992 to devote more time to his art. “A lot of my work is reminiscent of standing stones I’ve seen in Scotland and Ireland and Wales,” he says. “I made one piece that was very tall and thin, and I asked myself what’s so important about this piece, because it really vibrated and really spoke to me. So I started looking around and I said ‘Where have I seen stuff like this?” And

it was the neolithic standing stones.” His work usually begins with a lot of drawing, followed by making small models. “Wedged” started out in drawings and model as wider and “stockier.” But that would have been a larger and more expensive piece, so he started manipulating the proportions in Photoshop. “I pushed it in one way and pulled it in another and go ‘Oh, that looks pretty good,’” he says. “There’s old ways of doing it and new ways of doing it, and I use whatever I can.” His sculptures are always about establishing place. “Once you take one and you put it there, then you have to ask why is it there, what does it mean,” he says. “When you look at the cuts, you’ve got a north-south-east-west on the sculpture. So it's very much an ‘x’ and it's ‘This is the place.’ All my sculpture has something to do with that.” The Sixth Biennial Sculpture Exhibition, which will continue through Fall 2015, includes three pieces along the First Street corridor next to the Walnut Street Bridge, two in Renaissance Park, and one each on the Chattanooga Green near the Aquarium and at the south end of Veteran’s Bridge.

William Shakespeare’s Padua is now like Manhattan’s Little Italy in 1960 (think Moonstruck) and the play is scored with familiar tunes by the likes of Louis Prima, Rosemary Clooney, and Tony Bennett. This comedy about the feisty Kate and the determined Petrucio is a love story for the ages! Friday, March 14 is Girls’ Night Out sponsored by Brewer Media

chattanoogapulse.com • March 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 15

“One of America’s Top 101 places to visit”

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR Carlos Mencia

“Journey to the South Pacific”

National Geographic, USA 101

THUrsday 3.6

for more info call 706.820.2531

See RockCity.com

March 8-9, 15-16 Music Food Fun for the whole family! Be sure to get your Rock City Annual Pass for year-round access to all the fun! sponsored by

in partnership with

Free Seminar: How To Grow Veggies 3:30 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery, 5829 Main St., Ooltewah. (423) 238-9775, ooltewahnursery.com Dinner of Distinction: Recognizing Leaders in Healthcare 5:30 p.m. The Chattanoogan, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 424-3400, erlangerfoundations.org Taste 5:30 p.m. Stratton Hall, 3146 Broad St. (423) 667-4332 tastechatt.com Art + Issues: Dancing Around the Dollar 6 p.m. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Journey to the South Pacific” 3D-Member Premiere 6 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960, tnaqua.org Lee University Senior Recital: Zachary Carpenter, Kelsey Duttlinger 6 p.m. Lee University Humanities Building, 1250 Parker Street NE, Cleveland, (423) 614-8000, leeuniversity.edu Camp Chair Traveler Series: Caves/Chattanooga Grotto 6 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St., (423) 643-6888, outdoorchattanooga.com “Taming of the Shrew” with captioning 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839,

16 • The Pulse • march 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

funnydinner.com Sweet Birds by Jennifer Loomers Art Workshop 7 p.m. 
Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga Carlos Mencia 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, the comedycatch.com

friday3.7 Watercolor Workshop 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712, townsendatelier.com Pre-K Day: St. Patrick’s Day 10 a.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Reform: A Habitat for Humanity Exhibition” Opening 5:30 p.m. AVA, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org “Impressions” Exhibition Opening Reception 6:30 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Mystery of Flight 138” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Beach Houses Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga Camp Chair Cinema: “Breaking Away” Screening 7 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Screening of “Inside Job” 7 p.m. Unitarian Universalist Church of Chattanooga, 3224 Navajo Dr. (423) 624-2985, uucc.org “Home on the Mornin’ Train” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of

Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Carlos Mencia 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com “Taming of the Shrew” Ghost Light Session 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com Wide Open Floor 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org

saturday 3.8 Watercolor Workshop 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712, townsendatelier.com Tai Chi at Northgate Library 10 a.m. Northgate Public Library, 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 870-0635, chattlibrary.org Butterfly Garden Workshop 10 a.m. Crabtree Farms, 1000 E. 30th St. (423) 493-9155, crabtreefarms.org Free Seminar: How To Grow Veggies 10 a.m. Ooltewah Nursery, 5829 Main St., Ooltewah. (423) 238-9775, ooltewahnursery.com “The K Play” 10:30 a.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com Breakfast in a Bag 11 a.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanoogaanc.org CANC March Animal

Presentations 11 a.m. Chattanooga Arboretum & Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-9582, chattanoogaanc.org Copper Artist Demonstration 11 a.m. River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com Fruit Trees and Berry Bushes Workshop 2 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960, tnaqua.org 3D Printing Demonstration 2 p.m. Northgate Public Library, 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 870-0635, chattlibrary.org “Home on the Mornin’ Train” 2:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Eastgate Saturday Cinema: “The Butler” 2:30 p.m. Eastgate Public Library, 5705 Marlin Rd., Ste. 1500. (423) 855-2689, chattlibrary.org Wildlife Wanderland 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center, 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160, chattanoogaanc.org “Almost, Maine” 3 p.m. Cleveland State Community College, 3535 Adkisson Dr. NW, Cleveland. (423) 472-7141, clevelandstatecc.edu “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Mountain Landscape Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga
 Carlos Mencia 7:30, 9:30 p.m.
The Comedy

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR Mike Lebovitz

Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com “Almost, Maine” 8 p.m. Cleveland State Community College, 3535 Adkisson Dr. NW, Cleveland. (423) 472-7141, clevelandstatecc.edu “Taming of the Shrew” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com MES presents “Big Bad Wolves” 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Standup: Mike Lebovitz 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

sunday 3.9 Shamrock City 8:30 a.m. Rock City Gardens, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mountain, Ga., (706) 820-2531, seerockcity.com “Home on the Mornin’ Train” 2:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com CSO Presents Opera’s “Bad Boys and Girls” 3 p.m. Volkswagen Conference Center, 7351 Volkswagen Dr. (423) 267.8583 chattanoogasymphony.org Flipflops Workshop 4 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga Sustaining Excellence

Workshop 5 p.m. Woople, 100 Tremont St. (423) 308-7720, woople.com Carlos Mencia 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com

monday3.10 Portrait Sculpture Workshop with Brian Booth Craig 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712, townsendatelier.com A Heartbeat Away - Original by Megan Duncanson 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga

tuesday 3.11 Portrait Sculpture Workshop with Brian Booth Craig 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712, townsendatelier.com Arts Leadership Award Reception Honoring Ruth Holmberg 5:30 p.m. The Space at Warehouse Row, Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1127, warehouserow.net Skyuka Hall Speakers Series 6 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, chattlibrary.org Set in Stone Concrete Design House: The Nightly Build class series 6 p.m. Set in Stone, 306 W. Main St., Ste. 114. (423) 290-1180, concretecaster.com Chattanooga Writers’ Guild Meeting with Bill Dedman 6 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St.

"Big Bad Wolves"

(423) 757-5310, chattlibrary.org Rapid Learning Kayak Roll Practice 7 p.m. Southern Adventist University, 4881 Taylor Circle, Collegedale. (423) 236-2000, southern.edu Sunset Palm 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga

wednesday 3.12 Sustaining Excellence Workshop at Woople 7:30 a.m. Woople, 100 Tremont St. (423) 308-7720, woople.com Portrait Sculpture Workshop with Brian Booth Craig 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712, townsendatelier.com Open House At The Library: The 3 D’s Of 3D Printing 4 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, chattlibrary.org Palette Knife: Karen Tarlton’s Couples Landscape Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Ste. 100. (423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga

ongoing “Impressions” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Mon-Sat 1 – 5 p.m. Sun. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Satan’s Breath” 11 a.m. – 6 p.m. Mon-Sat 1 – 5 p.m. Sun. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214, intowngallery.com

“Reform: A Habitat for Humanity Exhibition” 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. Tues-Sat. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, averts.org “Michele Sege: Scuptures and Drawings” 9:30 a.m. – 7:30 p.m. Mon-Fri 1-4 p.m. Sat, Sun Cress Gallery, UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts., (423) 425-4269, cressgallery.org “Muse of the African American Spirit” and “African American Art: Harlem Renaissance Civil Rights Era and Beyond” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat Noon – 5 p.m. Wed, Sun 10 a.m. – 9 p.m. Thurs Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Photographic Prints” 8 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. Mon-Fri 8 a.m. – noon Sat Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 894-7112, blackwellautoinc.com Rock City Raptors 11 a.m. – 3 p.m. Fri-Sat, Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com Chattanooga Ghost Tours 9 p.m. nightly. The Little Curiosity Shoppe, 138 Market St. (423) 821-7125, chattanoogaghosttours.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com

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chattanoogapulse.com • March 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 17

Screen

john devore

Getting Out There—On Film Second Lookout Wild Film Festival ramps it up this year

A

S WINTER AND SPRING FIGHT FOR control of the weather, the season of film is descending on Chattanooga. Starting with the International Film Music Festival, there are three festivals between the end of February and the beginning of April, leading up to the Chattanooga Film Festival on April 3. But before that happens, the second annual Lookout Wild Film Festival opens on Mar 21. The festival is a celebration of fresh air, of the people that love it and play in it. It’s about enjoying green earth, about the beauty of the natural world, with films made by local and international filmmakers that have a single focus of showing the wonder of the outdoors. Last year’s festival was small in scale, and by all accounts this year’s has grown by leaps and bounds. Chattanooga is the perfect city for a film festival like this one. It speaks to the passion the city has for the wild places of our community. When it comes to differences between this year’s festival and last year’s, festival

18 • The Pulse • march 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

director Andy Johns is excited about the prospects. “This year’s festival really builds on the solid foundation we laid last year,” Johns says. “The biggest change our audience members will notice will be the overall quality

of films. Last year’s films were good and we are proud of them, but the 2014 films are truly some of the best in the world.” Some of selections include winners from many major outdoor adventure and conservations festivals from around the world, including four of Outdoor Magazine’s eight “Best Adventure Films of 2013.” Johns says: “I think people are going to be blown away by the amazing stories and incredible places in the films this year.” One of the films selected this year is “Outdoor Chattanooga”, by director Louis Lee, which highlights the incredible successes the city has had in creating a destina"The Boy Who Flies" tion for lovers of the

outdoors worldwide. I had the opportunity to see the film early and I have to say if it is representative of the quality found in the festival, Lookout Wild will be something special. The film is truly a local effort, narrated by Channel 3 news anchor Jonquil Newland, and featuring interviews with former Mayor Ron Littlefield, Mayor Andy Berke and Senator Bob Corker. The turnaround of Chattanooga from industrial wasteland to outdoor paradise isn’t news to anyone from the area, of course. Anyone living in the Scenic City has reaped the benefits of the efforts of these administrations to make Chattanooga an outdoor friendly place. But hearing the personal accounts of the process and the dedication across three separate administrations is encouraging to say the least, especially at a time when government seems so unworkable. But more than this, the film is a quiet reflection on the work done by so many in

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"Outdoor Chattanooga"

One of the films selected this year is ‘Outdoor Chattanooga’, by director Louis Lee, which highlights the incredible successes the city has had in creating a destination for lovers of the outdoors worldwide.” an earnest attempt to improve the lives of Chattanooga residents. I am continually impressed by the talent of local filmmakers. Lee’s film is a marvelous promotion of an important idea, one that showcases some of the exquisite beauty of the area. It makes me excited to see more local films in the CFF next month. The subject matter of other films found in the festival is varied, from the depths of north Georgia caves to fly fishing in Virginia. According to Johns: “We’ve also got “North of the Sun”, a Norwegian film about two surfers who chase waves north of the Arctic Circle,” which has recently won major awards like “Best of Show” at the Banff Mountain Film Competition in Canada. Other big films include “The Last Great Climb” and “Congo: The Inga Proj-

ect.” Beyond just activity films, the festival also features films that tackle conservation subjects like rhino poaching, the effect of dams in South America, water usage in Georgia, and deforestation in the West. All in all, the Lookout Wild Film Festival is a major step forward from last year, with better films and an established fan base. Seven of the filmmakers featured in the festival will be in attendance to answer questions, as well as some of the local leaders interviewed in “Outdoor Chattanooga.” Films will be shown at the Chattanooga Choo Choo. Tickets can be bought online at http://lookoutfilmfestival.org. A weekend pass is only $10, so there is literally no excuse to miss this festival. Support local film!

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chattanoogapulse.com • March 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 19

Free Will Astrology We Are Saving Mobile Lives 1906 Gunbarrel Rd. 423-486-1668 (Next to GiGi’s Cupcakes) cellphonerepair.com/chattanooga

Mon-Fri: 10am-7pm Sat: 11a-4pm Closed Sunday Coming soon to Hixson!

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the 1997 film Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, the lead character announces,”’Danger’ is my middle name.” Ever since, real people in the UK have been legally making “Danger” their middle name with surprising regularity. I think it would be smart fun for you Pisceans to add an innovative element to your identity in the coming days, maybe even a new middle name. But I recommend that you go in a different direction than “Danger.” A more suitable name might be “Changer,” to indicate you’re ready to eagerly embrace change. Or how about “Ranger,” to express a heightened desire to rove and gallivant? ARIES (March 21-April 19): Are you between jobs? Between romantic partners? Between secure foundations and clear mandates and reasons to get up each morning? Probably at least one of the above. Foggy whirlwinds may be your intimate companions. Being up-in-the-air could be your customary vantage point. During your stay in this weird vacationland, please abstain from making conclusions about its implications for your value as a human being. Remember these words from author Terry Braverman: “It is important to detach our sense of self-worth from transitional circumstances, and maintain perspective on who we are by enhancing our sense of ‘selfmirth.’” Whimsy and levity can be your salvation, Aries. “Lucky flux” should be your mantra. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The renowned cellist Yo Yo Ma once came to the home of computer pioneer Steve Jobs and performed a private concert. Jobs was deeply touched, and told Ma, “Your playing is the best argument I’ve ever heard for the existence of God, because I don’t really believe a human alone can do this.” Judging from the current astrological omens, Taurus, I’m guessing you will soon experience an equivalent phenomenon: a transcendent expression of love or beauty that moves you to suspect that magic is afoot. Even if you are an atheist, you are likely to feel the primal shiver that comes from having a close brush with enchantment.

100% of the proceeds from the event will stay local, benefitting the Greater Chattanooga Colon Cancer Foundation (GCCCF).

20 • The Pulse • march 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In my dream, I was leading a pep rally for a stadium full of Geminis. “Your intensity brings you great pleasure,” I told them over the public address system. “You seek the company of people who love you to be inspired. You must be appreciated for your enthusiasm, never shamed. Your drive for excellence doesn’t stress you out, it relaxes you. I hereby give you license to laugh even louder and sing even stronger and think even smarter.” By now the crowd was cheering and I was bellowing. “It’s not cool to be cool,” I exulted. “It’s cool to be burning

rob brezsny

with a white-hot lust for life. You are rising to the next octave. You are playing harder than you have ever played.” CANCER (June 21-July 22): “My old paintings no longer interest me,” said the prolific artist Pablo Picasso when he was 79 years old. “I’m much more curious about those I haven’t done yet.” I realize it might be controversial for me to suggest that you adopt a similar perspective, Cancerian. After all, you are renowned for being a connoisseur of old stories and past glories. One of your specialties is to keep memories alive and vibrant by feeding them with your generous love. To be clear, I don’t mean that you should apologize for or repress those aptitudes. But for now—say, the next three weeks—I invite you to turn your attention toward the exciting things you haven’t done yet. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I recommend that you sleep with a special someone whose dreams you’d like to blend with yours. And when I say “sleep with,” I mean it literally; it’s not a euphemism for “having sex with.” To be clear: Making love with this person is fine if that’s what you both want. But my main point is that you will draw unexpected benefits from lying next to this companion as you both wander through the dreamtime. Being in your altered states together will give you inspiration you can’t get any other way. You won’t be sharing information on a conscious level, but that’s exactly the purpose: to be transformed together by what’s flowing back and forth between your deeper minds. For extra credit, collaborate on incubating a dream. Read this: http:// tinyurl.com/dreamincubation. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “One chord is fine,” said rock musician Lou Reed about his no-frills approach to writing songs. “Two chords are pushing it. Three chords and you’re into jazz.” I recommend his perspective to you in the coming weeks, Virgo. Your detail-oriented appreciation of life’s complexity is one of your finest qualities, but every once in a while—like now—you can thrive by stripping down to the basics. This will be especially true about your approach to intimate relationships. For the time being, just assume that cultivating simplicity will generate the blessings you need most. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You Librans haven’t received enough gifts, goodies, and compliments lately. For reasons I can’t discern, you have been deprived of your rightful share. It’s not fair! What can you do to rectify this imbalance in the cosmic ledger? How can you enhance your ability to attract the treats you deserve? It’s important that we solve this riddle, since you are entering

a phase when your wants and needs will expand and deepen. Here’s what I can offer: I hereby authorize you to do whatever it takes to entice everyone into showering you with bounties, boons, and bonuses. To jumpstart this process, shower yourself with bounties, boons, and bonuses. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing,” wrote the Roman philosopher Marcus Aurelius more than 1,800 years ago. Is that true for you, Scorpio? Do you experience more strenuous struggle and grunting exertion than frisky exuberance? Even if that’s usually the case, I’m guessing that in the coming weeks your default mode should be more akin to dancing than wrestling. The cosmos has decided to grant you a grace period—on one condition, that is: You must agree to experiment more freely and have more fun that you normally allow yourself. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): For the itch you are experiencing, neither chamomile nor aloe vera will bring you relief. Nor would over-the-counter medications like calamine lotion. No, Sagittarius. Your itch isn’t caused by something as tangible as a rash or hives, and can’t be soothed by any obvious healing agent. It is, shall we say, more in the realm of a soul itch—a prickly tickle that is hard to diagnose, let alone treat. I’m guessing that there may be just one effective cure: Become as still and quiet and empty as you possibly can, and then invite your Future Self to scratch it for you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The world is awash in bright, shiny nonsense. Every day we wade through a glare of misinformation and lazy delusions and irrelevant data. It can be hard to locate the few specific insights and ideas that are actually useful and stimulating. That’s the bad news, Capricorn. Here’s the good news: You now have an enhanced ability to ferret out nuggets of data that can actually empower you. You are a magnet for the invigorating truths you really need most. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you come up with an original invention, apply for a patent immediately. If you think of a bright idea, put it to work as soon as possible. If you figure out crucial clues that everyone else seems blind to, dispel the general ignorance as quickly as you can. This is a perfect moment for radical pragmatism carried out with expeditious savvy. It’s not a time when you should naively hope for the best with dreamy nonchalance. For the sake of your mental health and for the good of your extended family, be crisp, direct, and forceful.

Jonesin’ Crossword

FAMOUS GOOD FOOD

matt jones

“Three in a Row”

--where have I heard that before?

DOUG KELLER FAMOUS GRILLED WINGS GRILLED FRESH EVERY MONDAY

KARAOKE EVERY TUESDAY LIVE MUSIC EVERY WEDNESDAY 7PM TO CLOSE TRIVIA EVERY THURSDAY HAPPY HOUR Across 1 Many-___ (colorful) 5 Amtrak stop, briefly 8 Pile at birthday parties 13 Nelson Muntz’s bus driver 14 Blaze a trail 16 Illusory painting genre 17 Looming choice 18 Industrial show 19 See 33-Down 20 Wind, cold, etc.* 23 Droid download 24 Like, total top choice 25 Baltimore ball team 27 Place to store your phone numbers (before smartphones) 30 People in a certain lounge 31 “This happens ___ time!” 32 Pup in the Arctic* 36 Roseanne’s sitcom mom 37 “An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport” author Kenny

39 Eggs at a sushi bar 40 Former Haitian president* 43 Wilson of “The Office” 45 Nets coach Jason 46 Won by a shutout 48 Country singer Harris 51 “And here it is!” 52 ___ Jo„o de Meriti (Brazilian city) 53 Group of three can be heard phonetically in the answer to each of the three starred clues 58 Standing subway passenger’s aid 60 “___ the mornin’ to ya!” 61 A wife of Charlie Chaplin 62 System with joysticks and paddles 63 Site of museums devoted to Ibsen and Munch 64 Swabs the deck, really 65 8-Down type 66 President pro ___

67 Place where “You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal” Down 1 Axton of “Gremlins” 2 Bryce Canyon National Park’s location 3 Raison d’___ (reason for being) 4 Toast 5 Coffeehouse freebie 6 San Antonio cuisine 7 Neck’s scruff 8 Full of dirt? 9 Copper-colored beer 10 Ruinous 11 Nonsense 12 Fitness tracker units 15 Mr. McNabb 21 Kenny Rogers hit written by Lionel Richie 22 “Survivor” grouping 26 CIA’s predecessor 27 Self-titled country album of 1988 28 Walkie-talkie word 29 First name in denim

32 “I’m out” 33 With 19-Across, “Truly Flabby Preludes” composer 34 Best of the best 35 Front the money 37 Cramp-relieving pill 38 Total 41 The limit, proverbially 42 Fish served in filets 43 Contrary to Miss Manners 44 Body makeup? 46 Fastener in the corner 47 Explosive sound 48 Piece in the paper, perhaps 49 Photo finish 50 Erin of “Happy Days” 54 Jim Lange, for “The Dating Game,” e.g. 55 Word after elbow or leg 56 Like some 1950s comedy material, today 57 Curiosity’s launcher 59 Installation material‑‑

Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0665

UNTIL 7PM MON - FRIDAY HAPPY HOUR ALL DAY SAT & SUN

3658 Ringgold Road East Ridge, TN • 423.867.1351 chattanoogapulse.com • March 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 21

On the Beat

alex teach

Creatine vs. Coffee Cops Officer Alex ponders a new generation of non-Joe-loving police

I

CRUISED ALONG BELOW THE SPEED LIMIT ON an empty road, window partially down to take in the chill night air.  It was a wonderful contrast to the hot cup of coffee in my left hand, my right barely gripping the steering wheel as I scanned the side streets for people determined to plow into me.  Streetlights cast repetitive shadows, and my cruiser’s tires hummed a monotone pace for them. I realized I hadn’t seen another patrol car in hours. It was barely 4 a.m….where the hell were they? I took a scalding sip without notice, and reflected a bit. The cops they hire today shave their heads instead of combing their hair, and prefer protein supplements and water to overcooked hot dogs and a good cup of Joe.  They obsess over hand sanitizer and rarely shake hands, then spend $130 dollars on a flashlight and complain about their pay.  They speed past citizens observing the speed limit and stranded motorists alike because they’re preoccupied on their cell phones, ironically talking to people about a lack of respect.  These are the ones who scour labels for percentages of trans-

While the smell of it takes me back to a hundred homicide scenes and fatal crashes, I don’t look at it as an unwanted reminder, but rather as a friend who stood by me when words wouldn’t do.”

fats instead of alcohol content, and wear a job requiring body armor while living in stark fear of secondhand smoke. I ponder these things while wondering how to reach out to them, then nearly spill my coffee while taking a curve as if I, too, had just started The Job. Embarrassing. I took a moment to glance at the cup, a monument of brushed stainless steel with a hooked handle that, if you were good, you could hang over your gun belt or even clip it over the grip of the pistol itself when need be.  I took coffee black, not because I enjoyed it so much that way, but rather because that was the only way I would consistently find it in a world where your desk was a dashboard and your office a fiveby-six room with a great stereo and horrible ceiling clearance.  I mapped out my nights by the quality of the brew. Iit was kept fresh by some of the only people that really, truly appreciated cops, because convenience store clerks were more frequently killed on the job than we were.  We were conversation and protection all in one, and many became

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RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS 5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162 22 • The Pulse • march 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

friends. That’s not to say the coffee was perfect. Oh, no.  But a pot on a burner for ten hours straight is better than none at all. As far as I was concerned, coffee was like royalty, a visitor that warmed your hands and your chest when you were cold and gently or jarringly woke you up. I didn’t understand these kids’ fear of such a fundamental part of the cop diet. I’ve forgiven it the second-degree burns it left on my thighs when I took it (and physics) for granted in sharp curves, and while the smell of it takes me back to a hundred homicide scenes and fatal crashes, I don’t look at it as an unwanted reminder, but rather as a friend who stood by me when words wouldn’t do.  Like a liberal talk show, it made you bead with sweat and pound desks and cry out in rage over things that should have been ignored outright in the first place—until the bitter java parted the clouds on the subject, not to mention your impulse control. So, yes, it complicated some things, but at the end of the day?  Coffee

was an old friend who, like silence and cynicism, rarely betrayed you.  I was pleasantly surprised to see blue strobes up ahead and swapped my headlights for rear flashers so as to not silhouette my boys while parking a few yards behind them.  I sat back and observed, blowing on the surface of my mug before taking another sip, steam gently rising from its surface.  When I ambled over eventually, they would frown upon my non-tactical accoutrement, but that’s OK.  I was patient with them, and God knows, wide awake.  Neither were coincidence. When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alexteach

chattanoogapulse.com • March 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 23


The Pulse 11.10 » March 6, 2014