By Sue Sterling
s p ir it u a l i t y
At age 55, Sue Sterling (right) went back to school. Now she teaches other seniors, such as Jim Buley, about computing.
Identity crisis at age 55? Me? That’s a teen problem not a grown-woman issue. Who was I? I desperately wanted to know. So, where did I go? Where could I go but to the Lord — and college! For 28 years I had been totally focused on my family and what I needed to do for them. My ex-husband and I parted ways many years ago and I spent the ensuing years working full time and raising three sons. Life was hard. It was lonely. But it was rewarding. My sons grew up, joined the military and started families of their own, leaving me to face life without a purpose. I was also struggling with the debilitating illness of major depression, which had played havoc with my ability to work. I could face living with a poverty-level income. I could face having an empty nest at home. But I was miserable because I didn’t know who I was. My Lutheran roots and Minnesota upbringing were entrenched deep within me, so I sought help from the Lord. I wanted to know what my purpose was in this life and I wanted to know how to accomplish it. Through a series of events, God showed me that I needed to continue my education. He opened up the doors
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FALL 2011 | her voice
photos by Joey Halvorson
for me to enroll in the computer technology course at Central Lakes Community College in Brainerd, which is where I began my original career path in 1971. The world was a different place 40 years ago. The expectations for females were much different. Back then my “old eyes” saw what they were told to see and to put it in the context others provided for me. I learned what was expected of me, graduated with a secretarial degree, found a job, got married, had kids and lived life inside the box that society had carved out for me. But no one along the way — not family, not teachers, not friends — ever told me to “think outside the box.” No one ever encouraged me to go where I really wanted to go and find out what I was capable of doing. In short, no one dared me to dream; to reach outside the mundane things in life and set my sights on a goal. I did set a goal for myself, but first I had to overcome some fears. How would I fit in? Would I be an object of derision? What kind of respect would I get from the instructors? I learned I wasn’t the only “old” student in class. There were others my age returning to re-educate themselves Returning to college was the first step on the ladder to self-discovery, but I found out that ladders are harder to climb when you get older. It took me a while to adjust to the rigorous schedule of classes and the hours of homework required. I often asked myself why I was putting myself through all the hassle, but I discovered that I was capable of doing things I never imagined. Each class required me to reach inside myself for ingenuity, self-discipline and perseverance. I learned how to process the knowledge and develop concepts of my own. It was hard, but it was worth it. I was beginning to unleash my potential one class at a time. As I learned about computers and about
myself, I realized that there was a “digital gap” between the kids coming out of high school and us “old folks.” It became my goal decipher the “geek speak” and teach older people how to function in a digital world. Today I teach basic computer at the Lakes Area Senior Activity Center in Brainerd and I give private lessons to those who want help on their home computer. It’s rewarding to open the wonders of the Internet and help them understand digital communication. I’ve recently given computer lessons to some of the residents at Good Samaritan-Woodland and one of my students was a 96-year-old man who still had a passion for learning new things. It was exciting and heartwarming for me to expand his knowledge into a world accessible through computers. With each person I help, I know I make a difference. My purpose in life is becoming clearer, but I know there is more in store for me. I feel I have accomplished something. It may be a small something in this high-speed, high-tech, make-the-big-bucks world, but I know that God is leading me through, step by step, up the ladder to my destiny. Without my faith I would have fallen further into my depression and not gotten up. When I started this journey of self-discovery, I asked God to tell me what I needed to do. He told me (in that still small voice of His) that in helping others I will be helping myself. That is what I intend to do!
HV
Sue Sterling Sue Sterling lives in the Brainerd area and teaches calligraphy as well as basic computer operation. She is an avid photographer and active in her church and the local square dancing club. She enjoys spending time with her three grown sons, three grandchildren and her lovely cat.