Boise Weekly Vol. 20 Issue 26

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LOCAL, INDEPENDENT NEWS, OPINION, ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT WWW.BOISEWEEKLY.COM VOLUME 20, ISSUE 26 DECEMBER 21–27, 2011

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TAK EE E ON E! NEWS 8

HARD HOLIDAY Christmas for the city’s homeless FEATURE 11

GIFT WRAPPING Need some? You’re holding it. NOISE 30

’TIS THE SEASON Local bands craft holiday classics SCREEN 34

SILENCE IS GOLDEN A French kiss to Hollywood’s golden age—and the year’s best film

“Once you go quack, you never go back.”

FOOD 38


2 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

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BW STAFF PUBLISHER: Sally Freeman Sally@boiseweekly.com Office Manager: Shea Sutton Shea@boiseweekly.com EDITORIAL Editor: Rachael Daigle Rachael@boiseweekly.com Features Editor: Deanna Darr Deanna@boiseweekly.com Arts & Entertainment Editor: Tara Morgan Tara@boiseweekly.com News Editor: George Prentice George@boiseweekly.com New Media Czar: Josh Gross Josh@boiseweekly.com Copy Datatante: Sheree Whiteley Sheree@boiseweekly.com Reporters: Andrew Crisp Andrew@boiseweekly.com Stephen Foster Stephen@boiseweekly.com Listings: calendar@boiseweekly.com Copy Editor: Jay Vail Contributing Writers: Bill Cope, Guy Hand, David Kirkpatrick, Ted Rall ADVERTISING Advertising Director: Lisa Ware Lisa@boiseweekly.com Account Executives: Sabra Brue, Sabra@boiseweekly.com Jessi Strong, Jessi@boiseweekly.com Doug Taylor, Doug@boiseweekly.com Nick Thompson, Nick@boiseweekly.com Jill Weigel, Jill@boiseweekly.com CLASSIFIED SALES Classifieds@boiseweekly.com CREATIVE Art Director: Leila Ramella-Rader Leila@boiseweekly.com Graphic Designers: Jen Grable, Jen@boiseweekly.com Adam Rosenlund, Adam@boiseweekly.com Contributing Artists: Derf, Julia Green, Guy Hand, Glenn Landberg, Jeremy Lanningham, Laurie Pearman, E.J. Pettinger, Ted Rall, Tom Tomorrow, Ben Wilson CIRCULATION Shea Sutton Shea@boiseweekly.com Apply to Shea Sutton to be a BW driver. Man About Town: Stan Jackson Stan@boiseweekly.com Distribution: Tim Anders, Mike Baker, Andrew Cambell, Tim Green, Jennifer Hawkins, Stan Jackson, Barbara Kemp, Michael Kilburn, Lars Lamb, Brian Murry, Amanda Noe, Northstar Cycle Couriers, Steve Pallsen, Patty Wade, Jill Weigel Boise Weekly prints 30,000 copies every Wednesday and is available free of charge at more than 750 locations, limited to one copy per reader. Additional copies of the current issue of Boise Weekly may be purchased for $1, payable in advance. No person may, without permission of the publisher, take more than one copy of each issue. SUBSCRIPTIONS: 4 months-$40, 6 months-$50, 12 months-$95, Life-$1,000. ISSN 1944-6314 (print) ISSN 1944-6322 (online) Boise Weekly is owned and operated by Bar Bar Inc., an Idaho corporation. TO CONTACT US: Boise Weekly’s office is located at 523 Broad St., Boise, ID 83702 Phone: 208-344-2055 Fax: 208-342-4733 E-mail: info@boiseweekly.com www.boiseweekly.com Address editorial, business and production correspondence to: Boise Weekly, P.O. Box 1657, Boise, ID 83701 The entire contents and design of Boise Weekly are ©2011 by Bar Bar, Inc. EDITORIAL DEADLINE: Thursday at noon before publication date. SALES DEADLINE: Thursday at 3 p.m. before publication date. Deadlines may shift at the discretion of the publisher. Boise Weekly was founded in 1992 by Andy and Debi Hedden-Nicely. Larry Ragan had a lot to do with it too. BOISE WEEKLY IS AN INDEPENDENTLY OWNED AND OPERATED NEWSPAPER.

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NOTE DECODING 7-7-7 In the Dec. 7 edition of Boise Weekly, columnist Ted Rall wrote about a report Bloomberg Markets Magazine published Nov. 28 that asserts the Federal Reserve secretly loaned $7.77 trillion to banks (BW, Opinion, “7-7-7,” Dec. 7, 2011). From the original report: “A fresh narrative of the financial crisis of 2007 to 2009 emerges from 29,000 pages of Fed documents obtained under the Freedom of Information Act and central bank records of more than 21,000 transactions. While Fed officials say that almost all of the loans were repaid and there have been no losses, details suggest taxpayers paid a price beyond dollars as the secret funding helped preserve a broken status quo and enabled the biggest banks to grow even bigger.” Since the story’s publication, the Fed sent a letter to Congress saying that recent media reports of secret loans were untrue, then Bloomberg fired back, defending its reporting and “showing its work,” so to speak. It’s an interesting, yet complicated, story to follow and at least one BW reader would agree with that assessment. Last week, a reader stopped by with a copy of a Washington Post op-ed slamming Bloomberg for the original report, saying it was sensationalized and quoting economists and columnists who called it a lie. Bloomberg stands by its reporting, and since Rall wrote a column about the $7.77 trillion, I asked him to comment on the brouhaha: “So it now seems that the $7.77 trillion was in loan guarantees. To which I wonder, what if the Fed had issued $7.77 trillion in loan guarantees to the unemployed and distressed homeowners? My guess is that it would have kept them afloat. Credit isn’t the same as cash—but you can use it to get cash. In the final analysis, it’s a distinction without a difference.” The best blow-by-blow account I’ve seen of the story as it has unfolded was published by the Atlantic Wire. For an overview of the Bloomberg-Fed tit for tat, plus Jon Stewart’s take on the whole thing and Bloomberg TV’s follow-up coverage, visit theatlanticwire.com/business. And now for something completely different: the ridiculousness that is this week’s main feature. Needless to say, it’s quite the alternative take on the holidays. We hope you get a laugh out of it. Have a happy holiday—whichever holiday it is you choose to celebrate. —Rachael Daigle

COVER ARTIST ARTIST: Belinda Isley TITLE: Meet Me Under the Mistletoe MEDIUM: Assemblage/collage ARTIST STATEMENT: By altering vintage photographs, ephemera and other precious odds and ends I create assemblage boxes that stretch the perception of what is junk and what is art. Additional work can be seen at the Boise Art Museum store, Forget Me Not Antiques and Green Chutes.

SUBMIT

Boise Weekly pays $150 for published covers. One stipulation of publication is that the piece must be donated to BW’s annual charity art auction in November. Proceeds from the auction are reinvested in the local arts community through a series of private grants for which all artists are eligible to apply. To submit your artwork for BW’s cover, bring it to BWHQ at 523 Broad St. All mediums are accepted. Thirty days from your submission date, your work will be ready for pick up if it’s not chosen to be featured on the cover. Work not picked up within six weeks of submission will be discarded.

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 3


WWW.BOISEWEEKLY.COM What you missed this week in the digital world.

INSIDE EDITOR’S NOTE

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BILL COPE

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TED RALL

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NEWS Christmas on Ash Street

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iPads in the cockpit

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CITYDESK

R.I.P. CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS When writer Christopher Hitchens passed away Dec. 15, BW solicited memorial haikus in his honor. Among them: Hitchslap on the hind / to train dogma owners ‘sit’ / for their moral treats—Daniel Burton. Read them all at Cobweb.

UN-SUCKY HOLIDAY TUNES By the time some BW readers have time to get to this week’s issue, Christmas will be over. But if you think you can still stomach some holiday music, check out Josh Gross’ blog series, 12 Days of Christmas Music That Isn’t Awful.

TAXI REDO Now that smoking is off the Boise City Council’s agenda, it’s time to take up taxis. The council is considering new ordinances to reform taxi service in the City of Trees, and one of the proposed changes is drawing some pushback from the city’s refugee community. More at Citydesk.

HOW MANY LIGHTS? Idaho Botanical Garden will see thousands of visitors to its annual Winter Garden Aglow, but just how many lights does it take to get people wandering around outside on a cold, dark winter night? We headed to the garden, video camera in hand, to find out. Check out the results at Cobweb.

4 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

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CITIZEN

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FEATURE Who Are They Now?

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BW PICKS

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FIND

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8 DAYS OUT

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SUDOKU

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NOISE Local musicians offer their own take on holiday tunes

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MUSIC GUIDE

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SCREEN The Artist

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REC The highs and lows of chukar hunting

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FOOD The tempting but tenuous world of duck eggs 38 WINE SIPPER

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CLASSIFIEDS

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NYT CROSSWORD

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FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 5


OPINION/BILL COPE

GIFTS FROM THE NORTH Part two UÊ L vÞÊ­Ì ÊÌÀi>ÌÊ`i«ÀiÃà Ê> `ÊL « >ÀÊ ÃÞ «Ì Ã®Ê ÃÊf£ xÊv ÀÊÓnÊ« ÃÊ Ê > >`>Ê > `Êfx{ÈÊv ÀÊÎäÊ« ÃÊ ÊÌ iÊ1 Ìi`Ê-Ì>Ìið UÊ Þ L> Ì>Ê­v ÀÊ`i«ÀiÃà Ê> `Ê> Ý iÌÞ®Ê ÃÊ fÇ{Êv ÀÊÓnÊ« ÃÊ Ê > >`>Ê> `Êf£ÇÎÊv ÀÊ ÎäÊ« ÃÊ ÊÌ iÊ1 Ìi`Ê-Ì>Ìið UÊ*>Ý Ê­v ÀÊ`i«ÀiÃà Ê> `Ê"

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6 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

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TED RALL/OPINION

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED Troops move, wars and torture never ends Most Americans—68 percent—oppose the war against Iraq, according to a November 2011 CNN poll. So it’s smart politics for President Barack Obama to take credit for withdrawing U.S. troops. As it often is, the Associated Press’ coverage was slyly subversive: “This, in essence, is Obama’s mission accomplished: Getting out of Iraq as promised under solid enough circumstances and making sure to remind voters that he did what he said.” Obama’s 2008 campaign began by speaking out against the war in Iraq. But his actions never matched his words. On vote after vote in the U.S. Senate, Obama supported the war. As president, Obama has claimed credit for a December 2011 withdrawal deadline negotiated by his predecessor George W. Bush—a timeline he wanted to protract. If the Iraqi government hadn’t refused to extend immunity from prosecution to U.S. forces, this month’s withdrawal would not have happened. “Today I can report that, as promised, the rest of our troops in Iraq will come home by the end of the year. After nearly nine years, America’s war in Iraq will be over,” Obama bragged to reporters on Oct. 24. Obama’s talk-no-walk approach to foreign policy is also on display on Guantanamo, the torture camp set up by the Bush administration, where thousands of Afghans and other Muslim men, including children, were imprisoned and tormented without evidence of wrongdoing. Only 171 prisoners remain there today, held under appalling conditions. Yet the “war on terror” mentality remains in full force.

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Obama ordered the construction and expansion of a new concentration camp at Bagram airbase in Afghanistan to house thousands of inmates. Now The New York Times has discovered that the Obama administration has developed “the other Guantanamo, an archipelago of federal prisons that stretches across the country, hidden away on back roads” inside the United States. Hundreds of Muslim men have been imprisoned by means of the thinnest veneer of legality. “An aggressive prosecution strategy, aimed at prevention as much as punishment, has sent away scores of people. They serve long sentences, often in restrictive, Muslim-majority units, under intensive monitoring by prison officers,” announced the paper. Aware that “his” war against Afghanistan isn’t much more popular among voters than the occupation of Iraq, Obama set a 2014 goal for withdrawal from the Central Asian state several years ago. Dexter Filkins called it “the forever war”: a post-9/11 syndrome that drives the United States to shoot and bomb the citizens of Muslim nations without end. You can’t end a forever war and so Obama is having his ambassador to Afghanistan, Ryan Crocker, release trial balloons about staying past 2014. The Iraq War, at least, seems to be coming to an end. According to the Pentagon, there will only be 150 U.S. troops in Iraq next year—those who guard the embassy in Baghdad. Sort of. Just shy of 10,000 “contractors”—the heavily armed mercenaries who became known for shooting civilians from attack helicopters—will remain in Iraq as “support personnel” for the State Department.

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 7


CITYDESK/NEWS PROPOSED LEGISLATION WOULD STRIP LOCAL CONTROL OF OIL AND GAS EXPLORATION

—George Prentice

8 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

CHRISTMAS ON ASH STREET A city’s gift of warmth GEORGE PRENTICE Nicole was, at first, reluctant to talk about her situation. She was more interested in taking a load off her feet. “I’m nine-and-a-half months pregnant,” said Nicole, 41. Finally deciding to share her story, she asked that her last name not be used. She’s not too proud of her current situation. Being pregnant and homeless was not how she expected to be spending the holidays. “This will be my ninth child,” said Nicole. Uncertain if we heard her right the first time, BW asked Nicole to repeat herself. “Yes, I have eight children—most of them grown, but I currently have two with me. There’s a fourth-grader and a fifth-grader, both girls.” Reaching under her many layers of clothes (we counted four), Nicole vigorously scratched her calves and ankles. “I’m diabetic,” she said. “Plus I think I’m allergic to being pregnant.” But during the conversation, Nicole eventually warmed up to a half-smile, saying that she had a number of things to be grateful for this Christmas—her children, Patrick (the baby’s father), who said he’d be marrying Nicole sometime in the new year, and the fact that she’ll soon be completing her high-school equivalency exams. But for the moLooking in any direction proves Schoenment, at least, she was most grateful to be sitfelder’s point. On the south side of Ash Street ting down inside a relatively modest building are rows of low-income housing, where on Ash Street. scores of kids come home from school to “This place is a blessing,” said Nicole. “If empty households. A block and a half to the it wasn’t for this place, I don’t know what I northwest is the River of Life Rescue Mission would do.” for men. A few more blocks to the west is the “This place” is the Pioneer Community Interfaith Sanctuary shelter, where families Center, south of downtown Boise, which has and couples can sleep together under the same served as an after-school respite for latchkey roof, and about a block to the north is the kids since the 1990s. But for the last three Corpus Christi Day Shelter, where the city’s winters, the facility has also served as a day homeless migrate each morning when the shelter for an increasing number of the city’s night shelters close their doors. homeless—specifically, home“But Corpus isn’t a place for less families. children,” said Nicole. “We’re not a day care, and The Pioneer Community Day The City of Boise agrees. we don’t provide services,” Shelter at 500 S. Ash Street That’s why the office of Mayor said Paul Schoenfelder, a youth is open 8 a.m.-3 p.m. MonDave Bieter decided to ask services coordinator with the day through Saturday and 9 the Department of Parks and Boise Parks and Recreation a.m.-3 p.m. on Sunday. Recreation—already managing Department since 1994. the Pioneer Center as an afterBut the soft-spoken school program—to do doubleSchoenfelder said the shelter duty, offering the facility to homeless families was “a huge success” due, in large part, to its during the winter months. Every morning, as location. many as 50 homeless moms, dads and infants “If this center was even two miles east show up at the Ash Street center. They can of here, it probably wouldn’t work,” said stay until 3 p.m. but have to leave before the Schoenfelder. BEN WILS ON

The Idaho Legislature, with a robust history of fighting for local controls and pushing back against federal rules on firearms, wolves and especially health care, is poised to consider an about-face in its 2012 session. Though the author remains confidential until the bill is presented, Citydesk has obtained a copy of something called DRSBM049, a draft of proposed legislation that would amend 10 sections of Idaho code, stripping away local controls concerning oil and gas exploration and instead centralizing oversight at the state level. One particular passage of the draft is certain to get the attention of the state’s municipalities: “No city, county or other political subdivision of this state shall enact or adopt any ordinance, rule, resolution, requirement or standard regulating the siting, construction or operation of facilities used in the exploration for, production or transportation of oil and gas that conflicts, either actually or operationally, with any provision of this chapter of the commission.” “The commission” is Idaho’s Oil and Gas Conservation Commission, which up until March hadn’t met in more than 18 years. But a geyser of activity in Payette County changed all that. Canadian-based Bridge Resources began grabbing up hundreds of land and mineral leases in preparation for its natural gas drilling-operations in Southwest Idaho. But Bridge’s promises of a boom turned into a bust when the company was crippled by a financial mess and a spate of top executive resignations (BW, Feature, “Bridge Under Troubled Waters,” Oct. 5, 2011). Meanwhile the Oil and Gas Commission, comprised of Idaho’s statewide elected officers—Gov. C.L. “Butch” Otter, Superintendent of Public Instruction Tom Luna, Secretary of State Ben Ysursa, Attorney General Lawrence Wasden and Controller Donna Jones—quickly had to come up to speed on the risks and rewards of gas drilling. On Nov. 15, the commission gave its blessing to a new set of industry rules, even though Lt. Gov. Brad Little, sitting in for Otter, had to recuse himself from voting because he was in negotiations to sign a private contract that could allow gas drilling on his land (BW, Citydesk, “Lt. Gov. Negotiating Private Deal with Gas Drillers, Recuses Himself From Vote,” Nov. 15, 2011). “It’s hard to overstate what a significant shift this would be from the way Idaho traditionally allows local communities to have a say in what’s going on in their area,” said Justin Hayes, program manager for the Idaho Conservation League. “This proposed legislation is pretty heavy handed.”

NEWS

after-school kids show up. The make up of the couples, some married, some in “committed relationships,” definitely skewed younger. When BW visited in early December, the majority of parents were in their 20s, with one as young as 18 years old. “The intake here is quite simple. We get referrals from the shelters telling us about parents and pre-school-aged children who don’t have an appropriate place to be during the day,” said Schoenfelder. “We’ll be open seven days a week until the end of March.” And, yes, that includes Christmas Day. Some homemade paper snowflakes and decorations made by the after-school kids adorned the windows and walls. Schoenfelder, who has spent his Christmases working at the shelter, said there will be some stockings and toys from Santa for the children. “I had a family last year ...” Schoenfelder stopped mid-sentence and looked away. He started his sentence again. “I had a family …” Schoenfelder swallowed hard, his voice cracking a bit. “And …” His eyes welled up a bit but not enough for anyone who wasn’t sitting very close to notice. “They were pretty frustrated on Christmas,” he said. “They were a married couple with two young children. And the parents got a little angry, because people wanted so much to give them things.” Schoenfelder looked away, studying the paper snowflakes on the wall. “You see, they didn’t have any place to put the presents,” said Schoenfelder. “They said, ‘This is great that you want to give our kids some toys, but where are we going to put them?’” Schoenfelder acknowledged that while the kids see such joy on Christmas, sadness and frustration is the parents’ reality. “A lot of people want to give at Christmas, but how about a gift certificate for a shoe store. You see that 4-year-old girl over there,” he asked, pointing to an adorable little one in pink pajamas. “Her parents don’t have any place to put another pair of shoes. But come July, she’s going to outgrow those shoes.” Schoenfelder said, rest assured, Santa won’t skip Ash Street this year. There will be some toys under the tree, and hopefully, some gift certificates. As Nicole bundled up at 3 p.m., saying she needed to pick up her two daughters before suppertime at the River of Life, she made certain to say one more thing. “Have a wonderful Christmas,” she said with a full smile, waving goodbye. WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M


NEWS

Though electronics during takeoff are a no-no for passengers, American Airlines pilots can now use iPads in the cockpit.

THE MYTH BEHIND THE NO ELECTRONICS AIRLINE POLICY Aviation analyst: ‘zero evidence’ of interference

Western Trophy & Engraving

KYLE KIM, GLOBALPOST Many are familiar with the takeoff drill when on airplanes: bags stowed, seat belts fastened and all electronics turned off. But the decades-old airline policy of prohibiting passengers from using any devices with an on-off switch out of fear of interference might be unfounded, according to a news report. There has never been a study that said there is conclusive evidence electronics interfere with avionics, John Nance, a pilot and ABC News aviation analyst, told Time magazine. “[Airlines] wrote the scripts that phones can interfere with the systems of the aircraft,” Nance said. “But there is zero evidence.” The Dec. 15 Time report continued: “The evidence to support such interference seems to be, at best, anecdotal. ... Flight crews have merely been taught to instruct passengers based on an err-on-the-side-ofcaution policy.” It is not to say there haven’t been any studies regarding the use of electronics while in flight. A report by the International Air Transport Association found 75 instances between 2003 and 2009 in which electronic interference was cited as the cause of some kind of airplane performance hiccup. The IATA report stressed, however, that no direct correlation was found between elecWWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

tronic interference from personal gadgets and plane function. There also seems to be a discrepancy in enforcing the no-electronics policy. The New York Times reported on Dec. 14 that the Federal Aviation Administration would allow American Airlines pilots to use iPads instead of paper flight manuals in the cockpit beginning Dec. 16. “The rule, barring passengers from using a Kindle, an iPad or even a calculator were originally made to protect the electronics of an aircraft from interference,” stated the NYT article. “Yet pilots with iPads will be enclosed in the cockpit just a few inches from critical aviation equipment.” Gadgets—especially the iPad—were found to be problematic when engineers in Seattle showed the Apple product, including other electronics, exceeded what Boeing considers the acceptable limit for aircraft equipment. So why are pilots allowed to use iPads in the cockpit but passengers can’t in the cabin? The cockpit is limited to a two-maximum gadget rule which is “significantly different” from the cabin, the FAA said. “This involves a significantly different scenario for potential interference than unlimited passenger use, which could involve dozens or even hundreds of devices at the same time,” the FAA said in the statement to the Times.

Holiday Shopping? COME SEE US!! Coasters • Bamboo Pen Sets • Clocks Stainless Mugs & Water Bottles

Custom engraving & Full Color Imprinting 5529 OVERLAND RD • (208) 378-0800 WWW.WESTERNTROPHYBOISE.COM

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 9


CITIZEN

KAREN SIVALON Christmas: It’s a wrap! GEORGE PRENTICE You do realize that there are a lot of people in your line of work that have no business being in customer service. Right [big laugh].

How long have you worked in retail? Actually, this was my first retail job. My degree is in eduction and I wanted to be a teacher, but I have two children and this job fit perfectly into my personal schedule. I started here in 2000, out on the sales floor in the Ready to Wear department—that’s women’s apparel. I worked there for about six months before being transferred to customer service.

How many options are there for customers? We have six unique Christmas wraps this year. Each one has its own special ribbons and an ornament or embellishment. And of course that’s in addition to our baby wraps, wedding wraps, birthday wraps and all the others.

When you’re not wrapping gifts, what are your other responsibilities? We work on refunds. We help customers with their charge accounts. I’m a back-up cashier. We work the switchboard, a little bit of everything. So when people call the main number, are they talking to you? It’s me and my colleagues. People get very excited when they learn that a live person still answers the phone here.

10 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

So what does it take to do what you do? A lot of patience. You have to have the right attitude, because a lot of people come up to the customer service counter and sometimes they’re pretty upset about something. You just have to let them have their fun and go with it [even bigger laugh]. Do you get special training for gift wrapping? Oh yes. Dillard’s has its own way of wrapping things.

Clearly, not everyone can do this. When I get the rhythm going, I can finish a really nice gift-wrapped package in about four, maybe five minutes. Plus, keep in mind that we make all our own bows at Dillard’s. Is it common for people to bring you a lot of items that aren’t boxed? We have all the box sizes here. A lingerie size, shirt size, sweater size, hat size, china box size, a cube, a coat size and jewelry and tie sizes. What’s the toughest thing to wrap? Luggage. We’ll either find a huge box or we’ll make one.

JER EM Y LANNINGHAM

Karen Sivalon works in a rather surreal setting. At the top of the second-floor escalator of Dillard’s department store at the Boise Towne Square mall, make a sharp right and look for her near the candy cane archway and towering shelves of chocolates and Christmas candies. That’s where she and her customer service colleagues are elbow-deep in paper and ribbons, turning drab boxes into gorgeously wrapped mysteries. Sivalon is one of the busiest employees at Dillard’s each Christmas shopping season, putting in extra hours on weekends and for select shoppers’ special occasions. She’s also, quite possibly, the jolliest of customer service associates. She readily laughed or giggled through much of our interview.

Do you ever wrap something soft or smushy, like a comforter? No. Somehow we have to put it in a box. Are men your biggest customers? Certainly at Christmas, it’s men and kids. It’s so cute to watch, because the children’s eyes light up when they get to pick out the wrapping. Do things just get crazier the closer you get to Dec. 24? Oh my, yes. We’re wrapping quite a bit right up to the last minute on Christmas Eve. And we keep the Christmas wrapping going the week after Christmas because so many people buy gifts for the next year, and they want them wrapped now. Did you hear there is no gift wrapping available in the common area of the mall this year? I know. Plus, they’re not doing any gift wrapping over at Macy’s. We’re a real novelty this year. Are you too tired to wrap your own presents when you get home? Oh no [another big laugh]. I still think it’s pretty cool. You seem to get quite a bit of joy out of what you do. I just love it.

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SHINING A MODERN LIGHT ON HOLIDAY MAINSTAYS BY DEANNA DARR | ILLUSTRATIONS BY ADAM ROSENLUND e know all about Santa and his elves, don’t we? Rudolph, Frosty and Tiny Tim could practically be family considering how ingrained they are in popular culture, but most of these characters are still viewed in the warm, fluffy light that decades and even centuries of holiday culture has shined on them. But what if these well-known and beloved characters were from today’s world? BW decided to have some fun and ask just who would they be now?

W

SANTA AKA KRIS KRINGLE, AKA ST. NICK, AKA JOLLY OLD ST. NICK, AKA SINTERKLAAS, AKA SANTA CLAUS, AKA THE HEAD ELF, AKA FATHER CHRISTMAS WAS -----------------------------------Keeper of Christmas who magically delivered gifts to good boys and girls in one night. Along with his wife and a group of elves, originated idea of mass production to meet toy demands. Known to love cookies and the color red.

NOW -----------------------------------Famed uber wealthy inventor whose fortune came from patenting faster-thanlight travel and heavy investments in the aeronautics industry. His business enterprises were challenged after the elves formed a union and demanded better (warmer) working conditions and more liberal cocoa breaks. He de-stresses at his private reindeer ranch in Montana, although his much-publicized battle with obesity and diabetes has slowed him in recent years. He did appear with Wilford Brimley in a diabetes-awareness campaign. His image was tarnished a bit after TMZ began spreading rumors of inappropriate lap-sitting incidents.

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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 11


1950 Fisher Price Little People

1951 View Master

1952 Mr. Potato Head

1953 Whiffle Ball

1954 Broom Tail Horse

1955

RUDOLPH WAS ------------------------------------

Silly Putty

Beloved savior of Christmas morning and longtime employee of Santa as lead on the reindeer team.

1956

NOW ------------------------------------

Play-Doh

1957 Fisher Price Corn Popper

1958 Hula Hoop

On the run from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and the U.S. Department of Agriculture because of fears that his rare condition may be contagious and could potentially be passed to both native ungulate species, as well as domestic livestock. Some conservation groups have taken up his cause, chiefly Humans United to Maintain Bioluminescent Ungulates’ Glow, most commonly known as HUMBUG. The group has filed a dozen lawsuits trying to force an injunction and stop the hunt, while simultaneously petitioning for inclusion on the Endangered Species List and a designated refuge where he will be free to play any reindeer games.

1959 Barbie

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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 13


SANTA’S ELVES 1960 Etch-aSketch

1961 Ken doll

1962 Troll doll

1963

WERE ----------------------------------Magical helpers of Santa who created toys with blistering speed and skill.

NOW -----------------------------------After leaving Santa’s workshop, they landed a deal with TLC for their own reality TV show that follows a group of little people forced to live in one house in New Jersey. Several have already been sent to rehab after a series of vicious fights caused by overindulging in the ’nog. One has started her own clothing line of fashions for “candy canes,” middle-aged female elves on the prowl for younger suitors. Another has been linked romantically to Paris Hilton.

Easy Bake Oven

1964 G.I. Joe

1965 Operation!

1966 Twister

1967 Connect Four

1968 Lite Brite

1969 Big Wheels

14 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

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GLEN LANDB ER G

Neurolux serves as a shining beacon in the night for the holiday-weary and the non-Christmas celebrants alike.

WHEN CHRISTMAS IS JUST ANOTHER DAY JOSH GROSS

If movies and Hallmark are to be believed, Christmas is a magical day when bells ring, families love one another and even the ugliest of sweaters are forgiven. But for millions of Americans, whether through religion, geography or apathy, it’s just another day. Well, it would be just another day except that dang near everything is closed. Except Bogus Basin Mountain Recreation Area. It will be open regular hours from 9 a.m.-10 p.m.— that is if there’s a Christmas miracle and it actually snows a few feet in a very short time period. But don’t fret if you find yourself non-Christian or without skis this year. There’s no shortage of holiday cheer to be found sans holiday. Perhaps the best thing about Christmas without Christmas is that everyone else is busy having Christmas, meaning roads and parks are empty. Take a drive and enjoy the total lack of traffic. Take a hike in the Foothills and enjoy the near-post-apocalyptic level of quiet. When Jean Paul Sartre wrote that “hell is other people,” it was likely after experiencing the total zen calm of Christmas Day all to yourself. However all that quiet works up an appetite. But as anyone who has seen the classic film A Christmas Story—or heard the song What We Do on Christmas by Atom and His Package—should know, Chinese restaurants are open for business, meaning you can still eat well. After dinner, catch a movie. Studios generally save their best films for the holiday season to take advantage of people having more free time and wanting to be inside away from the cold, as well as to make a final push for Oscars. The week of Christmas will see a new Mission Impossible movie, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, the much-hyped and David Fincher-helmed American adaptation of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and We Bought a Zoo, a new film from iconic director Cameron Crowe. Christmas Day will see the openings of the stylish and action-packed alien invasion film The Darkest Hour, as well as Steven Spielberg’s adaptation of the World War I novel and Broadway play War Horse, and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close from the novel by Jonathan Safran Foer. And after catching a movie or two, it’s time to party. The important thing to remember about Christmas without Christmas is that other people who celebrate it will travel long distances to do so. That means all your friends from high school who you haven’t seen in years will be in town. And since they’ll likely only be in town for a few days, they’ll all want to go out, and no one will have to work in the morning. This makes Christmas one of the best days of the year to go bar hopping. The late-night party at Neurolux on Christmas is legendary. Find your high-school best friends, remind them they still owe you a drink, repeat. Then wake up wrapped in festive paper next to your ex, swear this will be the last time and pull the same stunt next year. Requiring Christmas to enjoy Christmas Day only shows a lack of creativity. Seize the holiday and make it your own. WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 15


1970 Nerf

1971 Weebles

1972 Paddington Bear

1973 Baby Alive

1974 Sit ‘n’ Spin

1975 Atari’s Pong

1976

EBENEZER SCROOGE WAS ------------------------------------

Stretch Armstrong

Miserly curmudgeon who accumulated wealth on the backs of his overworked and underpaid staff. He pinched every penny until he was shown the error of his ways by the three spirits of Christmas.

1977

NOW ------------------------------------

Rubik’s Cube

1978 Simon

1979 Atari System

16 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

Ultra wealthy banking executive who managed to not lose it all despite the fact that his investment firm was one of the first to go down in the recession. This is thanks, in large part, to his decades of massive bonuses and his awe-inspiring golden parachute—which he took advantage of the week before the bank crashed. He built his fortune by nickel and dimeing the working poor through various creative fees and variable interest rates. Any twinges of conscience are deadened with 50-year-old single malt Scotch sipped from crystal glasses at his manor house in a non-extradition country.

WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M


When the idea well runs dry, the wallet turns up empty or your procrastination finally bites back, give a gift that money could buy but that you’ll do for free. Fill in the blanks, throw this bad boy in an envelope, and seal it with a kiss.

T

his holiday season, I wanted to give you an extra special gift. Yes, a _______________ would have been an extra special gift, but then I thought: Gee, if it takes you, on average, ______ weeks to ____________________ with your new gift, then I’d be giving you the gift of about ______________ a year, and that hardly seemed like the kind of extra special gift I had in mind. So in the spirit of giving without cluttering your shelves with _______________, creating ______________ or forcing you to say you really do like the __________________ I picked out specifically for its ______________ potential, I give you my services. This coupon is good for one ________________________________________. Expires: _______________ Cash value: _______________ Emotional value: _________________ (priceless?)

(RECIPIENT’S NAME HERE)

The fine print: Limited to one coupon per person per service. To redeem this coupon, simply fill it out and make two copies. Send one to the Department of Homeland Security and the other to Michael Jackson, c/o The North Pole, where the King of Pop is rumored to be kicking it with the team of elves who run the adult toy department. Once I’ve received final approval from the Homeland folks and MJ, your coupon will be eligible for redemption. Services may not be redeemed on black-out dates, which may include, but are not limited to, all major holidays, every Friday and Saturday after 5 p.m., my birthday and any other night I determined based on a formula into which I’ve plugged my social calendar, my work schedule and projected degrees of motivation on any given day.

UN UNDER THE

2012 PLAYS at a glance ROMEO AND JULIET BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE June 1–June 30

THE MOUSETRAP BY AGATHA CHRISTIE June 8–July 27

THE IMAGINARY INVALID FREELY ADAPTED FROM MOLIÈRE BY ODED GROSS AND TRACY YOUNG July 6–August 24

THE WINTER’S TALE BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE August 3–August 26

NOISES OFF

BY MICHAEL FRAYN August 31–September 29

M.A. Taylor* The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) (2011) *Member Actors’ Equity. Photo—DKM Photography.

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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 17


1980 Masters of the Universe

1981 Care Bears

1982 My Little Pony

1983 Cabbage Patch Kids

1984 Transformers

1985 Teddy Ruxpin

TINY TIM

1986 Skip It

1987 Nintendo

1988 Ghostbusters

1989 Polly Pocket

18 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

WAS -----------------------------------Handicapped youngest child of a poor family whose life was saved when his father’s boss had a change of heart.

NOW -----------------------------------Disabled child of parents working multiple jobs to pay for health care. After his father was fired from his full-time job with benefits, the family was unable to purchase a new health-insurance policy at any cost because of Tim’s pre-existing condition and the fact that his mother is still of childbearing age. But thanks to Tim’s aptitude for singing jaunty little tunes, the family’s gut-wrenching story was featured on a television talent contest, after which Oprah adopted the entire family.

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HOW TO MAKE SOMETHING WITH WHAT YOU’RE HOLDING IN YOUR HANDS TARA MORGAN If Christmas Eve finds you browsing the picked-over aisles of Walgreens, debating between a Bart Simpson Chia Pet or an As Seen on TV onion chopper for your little sister, you, dear friend, are a procrastinator. Well, fret not. This year, BW’s got your idle back. We combed craft blogs for three clever ways you can quickly whip up a batch of Christmas presents for your loved ones using little more than the newspaper you’re currently clutching in your hands.

NEWSPAPER BIRD ORNAMENT OR GIFT TAG We snagged this simple idea from craft blog The Vintage Wren, which requires only newspaper, scissors, a piece of cardboard, a hole-puncher, embroidery floss and a needle. Now you, too, can put a bird on it. For more info and step-by-step pictures, visit bit.ly/w0Kjtx. Step 1: Trace a bird design template on a piece of cardboard or cereal box. Cut it out. Step 2: Fold a page of the Boise Weekly in half. Trace a bird template using a pencil and cut out. Step 3: Thread your needle with thick floss and tie a knot in the end. Sew the two matching bird patterns together using a running stitch, but leave an opening for stuffing. Step 4: Shred newspaper and stuff it inside the bird. Finish sewing closed and tie with a knot. Step 5: Punch a hole in the top and use more thread to attach a loop for hanging on the tree or fastening to a gift.

NEWSPAPER YARN If you have a little more time on your hands—or just need something to do absentmindedly while you nurse your ’nog—why not turn the Boise Weekly into a spool of yarn? According to greenupgrader. com, handspun newspaper yarn has slightly less strength than wool yarn, but when wound tightly, it can be used to knit or crochet into any number of household items—including place mats, rugs or even throw blankets. For more info and step-by-step pictures, v isit bit.ly/2miOLK. Step 1: Take a sheet of the Boise Weekly, fold it into fourths and cut into half-inch strips. Step 2: Twist the first strip tightly with your fingers and fasten to the base of a large spindle. Step 3: Using the spindle, continue twisting the paper in the same direction. When you get within 4 inches of the end, lay the end of another strip of paper on top of the first strip and continue twisting. Step 4: Repeat. Refill ’nog. Repeat.

NEWSPAPER SEED BOMBS Blogger Mademoiselle Chaos of Para Noire Design, mademoisellechaos.blogspot.com, has a recipe for turning old newspaper scraps into sling-shot-able seed bombs. All you need is a packet of native plant seeds, newspaper, water, a blender, a strainer, a scrap of cloth and an ice cube tray or mold. For more info and step-by-step pictures, visit bit.ly/aLn3EF. Step 1: Place shredded newspaper and warm water into a blender. Blend into an thick pulp. Step 2: Add approximately 1 teaspoon of seeds per sheet of the Boise Weekly and mix with your hands. Step 3: Place mixture in a strainer lined with a piece of cloth or a dishtowel. Squeeze to remove as much excess water as possible. Step 4: Press balls of the seed mixture pulp into ice cube tray molds or roll into a ball. Step 5: Let seed bombs dry in cool, dry spot so seeds don’t sprout right away.

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 19


1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

1991 Original Game Boy

1992 WWF Figurines

1993 Talk Boy

1994 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

1995 Buzz Lightyear

1996 Tickle Me Elmo

1997 Beanie Babies

1998 Furby

1999 Pokemon

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FROSTY THE SNOWMAN WAS -----------------------------------Snowman brought to life by a magic top hat whose day of dancing and fun with local children became legend.

NOW -----------------------------------Drug kingpin known as “Frosty the Blow Man,” he runs the northern territories and has close ties to the Mexican drug cartels. He’s known for his cold demeanor in dealing with his rivals, and it’s said that he’ll put anyone who crosses him on ice. His magic white powder has a reputation for making those who use it dance around— and occasionally start wildly ranting before waking up either in a gutter or with a hooker. Frosty likes to dress with flash, but some say his coal-black eye looks dead.

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2000 Razer Scooter

2001 Playstation 2

2002 Bratz Dolls

2003 Game Boy Advance SP

2004 Robosapien

2005

THE GRINCH

LeapFrog LeapPad

WAS ------------------------------------

Sony Playstation 3

Anti-social hermit who took out his anger and frustration by stealing Christmas from the Whos in Whoville.

NOW -----------------------------------Isolationist who lives in a handmade log cabin in the woods of North Idaho. He lives completely off the grid and trades animal skins or silver he’s pulled from a small mine he operates for the camouflage clothing he’s partial to. He was a member of a local militia group for a short time, but he found the group far too mainstream for his tastes. His only companion is his much-maligned dog, and he spends most of his time building traps and alarms in the woods to warn him when the government invades—or the aliens, whichever comes first. His only indulgence—the silky women’s panties he likes to wear under his BDUs.

2006 2007 Nintendo Wii

2008 Ripstik Board

2009 Zhu Zhu Pets

2010 Paper Jamz guitar

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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 21


S TEVE C ONNER

BOISEvisitWEEKLY PICKS boiseweekly.com for more events DAIS Y’S M ADHOU S E

Brawls on ice and the Idaho Steelheads: winter classics.

WEDNESDAY-FRIDAY DEC. 21-23 hockey Did Santa Claus put his paws on Rudolph’s hindquarters? Find out at The Eight: Reindeer Monologues.

WEDNESDAY DEC. 21 stage THE EIGHT: REINDEER MONOLOGUES The un-Christmas tale is entertainment de choix for the holiday disenchanted. In the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia version, Charlie Day and Rob McElhenney realize just how much of their Christmas past they’ve been suppressing. From the revolving door Santa brothel Day’s mother runs to McElhenney’s house-to-house, breaking-and-entering White Elephant gift exchange, the show epitomizes the un-saccharine side of the holidays. As does Jeff Goode’s play, The Eight: Reindeer Monologues, which brings the typical Santa and reindeer cast of characters into the un-Christmas fold with the sordid tale of Claus’ downfall. Daisy’s Madhouse, the troupe behind the blood-soaked Evil Dead: The Musical, brings the story to the stage, serving up the second year of this irreverent production. This isn’t your typical candy cane and gumdrops story. Set at the North Pole, Kris Kringle proves that life imitates art when a media scandal erupts over charges of sexual harassment levied against him—Herman Cain, anyone? The plot thickens as, one by one, the eight reindeer come forward with allegations against the rotund merrymaker’s sexual deviance and authoritarian rule. Rotating through the cast of familiar family friendly reindeer, the play puts the horned characters on stage in Death of a Salesman/Willy Loman-style monologues. Cast members tell stories of their depraved lunatic boss, commiserate with Mrs. Claus and depart from the otherwise rosy, Coca-Cola version of Christmas. 8 p.m., $8. Visual Arts Collective, 3638 Osage St., Garden City, 208-854-9636, daisysmadhouse.org.

WEDNESDAYTUESDAY DEC. 21-27 stage IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE: A LIVE RADIO PLAY

Remember the movie A Christmas Stor y? If you don’t, you can catch it on repeat this holiday season. In it, poor Ralphie endures a plethora of traumatic childhood events, including imagined soap poisoning, fights with a ginger-haired bully and an unfair grade on his piece de resistance. But there’s one thing that brings

22 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

him consistent happiness— his radio show, Little Orphan Annie. The film portrays a time when Christmas trees were real, lamps were hideous and the radio was the primar y source of entertainment. Sun Valley’s Company of Fools wants to help you experience that radio-holiday

IDAHO STEELHEADS VS. ALASKA ACES The phrase “hat trick” is thrown around a lot in American parlance. Most people know colloquially what it means: a triple score. But that’s generally all they know about hockey other than the name Gretzky. And that’s a shame, because there are plenty more fun facts. For example: Hockey was created as an official sport in 1875 in Montreal. It debuted at the Olympics in 1920, but it was originally part of the summer games. It is considered the fastest sport—so fast, in fact, that the FOX network developed special electronic pucks that left tracers on TV so viewers could better follow them as they shot around the rink at speeds exceeding 70 mph. It’s also the only sport in which fighting between players is condoned. Refs will stop games so fights can continue, despite it technically being against the rules. Players generally serve a five-minute penalty but not until the fight is over. This has the dual effect of thrilling audiences and making hockey players’ brains prized by dementia researchers. A recent three-part series in The New York Times examined the life and death of one of the NHL’s fiercest fighters, Derek Boogaard, and what a doctor’s post-mortem examination of his brain revealed. The results sent ripples across the world of sports. This week is a great time to give hockey a shot. The Idaho Steelheads will play a threegame run against the Alaska Aces Wednesday, Dec. 21, through Friday, Dec. 23. Living up to the name The Aces, those pesky Alaskans and their 16-6 record are top-ranked in the Mountain conference, meaning there’s no better time to root, root, root for the home team. Wednesday, Dec. 21-Friday, Dec. 23, 7:10 p.m., $16-$35. CenturyLink Arena, 233 S. Capitol Blvd., idahosteelheads.com.

link via its new production, It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play. Playwright Joe Landry’s adaptation of the Frank Capra classic features George Bailey and all the famous characters from the 1946 award-winning film, as well as music, sound effects and “commercials.” But don’t worry—you won’t have the urge to press the fastforward button on your DVR. The play is set on Christmas Eve 1946 at radio station WCOF. The talented Company of Fools players will bring the classic charac-

ters to life as if performing a radio show. But instead of hiding in studios with headphones and mics, only making their voices audible to the world, you can watch the radio show in action. So put on your 1940s finest, learn about the magic of the season alongside Bailey and enjoy this creative twist on a holiday classic. Wednesday, Dec. 21-Friday, Dec. 23, 7 p.m.; Saturday, Dec. 24, 3 p.m.; Tuesday, Dec. 27, 7 p.m.; Runs through Friday, Dec. 30. $30 adults, $20 seniors, $10 18 and younger.

Liberty Theatre, 110 N. Main St., Hailey, 208-578-9122, companyoffools.org.

THURSDAYTUESDAY DEC. 22-27 lights HAVE A HOLLY TROLLEY CHRISTMAS If your idea of getting into the holiday mood includes WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M


LAU R IE PEAR M AN

FIND

See the light at Idaho Botanical Garden.

WEDNESDAY-TUESDAY DEC. 21-27 lights WINTER GARDEN A GLOW Tips to avoid a family holiday meltdown: No. 1: Take a Goldilocks approach to alcohol—not too much, not too little, but just right. No. 2: Keep telling yourself that you’re not 13 years old, and that you and your siblings shouldn’t act like you are. No. 3: diversions, diversions, diversions. And there’s no better holiday diversion than heading to Idaho Botanical Garden for the 15th annual Winter Garden Aglow. From Thanksgiving weekend through the new year, the garden is decked out with more than 250,000 lights—basically if something stood still for more than a minute, volunteers put a string of lights on it. In addition to immersing yourself in a glowing, technicolored world, you can also participate in numerous activities and entertainment throughout the event’s run. Visitors can always warm up with free hot cocoa, cider and cookies, but there will also be a rotating roster of food vendors on site. The Southern Idaho Garden Railway Society has set up a G-scale model train in the English Garden, which will be on display through Saturday, Dec. 31, and various community choirs will sing—including performances on Wednesday, Dec. 21, through Friday, Dec. 23. And what holiday event would be complete without Santa, who will be in the garden from 6-9 p.m. on Wednesday, Dec. 21, through Friday, Dec. 23. He’ll be joined by Prancer the reindeer on Thursday, Dec. 22, and Friday, Dec. 23. Check out a full schedule of events online. Winter Garden Aglow is open daily—including Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve—and families can save on admission by coming on Mondays, when a carpool discount of $20 per car (no more than six people) is available. There’s also a $1 discount with a military ID. 6-9 p.m., daily through Sunday, Jan. 8. $8 adults, $4 children 4-12, $4 IBG members, FREE ages 3 and younger. Idaho Botanical Garden, 2355 N. Penitentiary Road, 208-343-8649, idahobotanicalgarden.org.

cruising in a teeth-chattering, open-air trolley through a Boise Bench neighborhood to “ooh” and “aaah” at somebody else’s electric eccentricities, then the Boise Trolley Holiday Lights Tour is your Christmas wish come true. This year, the trolley is picking up from Library Plaza at Cole and Ustick roads. The so-called Molly Trolley is adorned with some holiday finery, and Bing croons

S U B M I T

“White Christmas” on the speakers. But bundle up. “It may get a little snowy because it’s open air,” said Debra Miller, trolley tour manager. The tours leave every night at 7 p.m., and additional tours leave at 8 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. Wednesday, Dec. 21, and Tuesday, Dec. 27, are already sold out. “You definitely want to check our seating availability

Have a rock ’n’ roll Christmas with Mannheim Steamroller.

HOLIDAY MUSTACHE

THURSDAY DEC. 22 music MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER Who hasn’t heard a rendition of “O Holy Night” and thought, that song could really use some distorted guitars and tricked-out drum machines? Well, lucky for all of us, composer Chip Davis turned that dream into a reality with his traveling Christmas extravaganza, Mannheim Steamroller. The Steamroller has been decking out Christmas songs with garish synthesizers, electronic drums and effects-heavy guitars since its debut in 1984. That same year, it released Mannheim Steamroller Christmas, which went on to sell a whopping 5 million copies. All told, the Mannheim brand has sold more than 40 million albums, making Davis one of the top 50 best-selling artists of all-time. Davis has capitalized on this success by expanding into the medium of children’s books, patenting a music therapy system, and even creating an entire line of food and bath products under the Mannheim Steamroller name. So, while you’re enjoying some Mannheim Steamroller Christmas jams, you can relax with a Mannheim Steamroller bubble bath and enjoy some Mannheim Steamroller hot chocolate in your Mannheim Steamroller mug. In addition to the more modern instruments that Mannheim Steamroller utilizes, the orchestra/band/art project sports modest brass and string sections. It also hauls around a pretty insane light setup, making this one of the few events that you can take both your mother-in-law and stoner teenage kid to—truly the spirit of the holidays. 4:30 p.m. and 8 p.m., $47-$76. The Morrison Center, 2201 W. Cesar Chavez Lane, 208-426-1609, mc.boisestate.edu.

in advance. We post updates each day on our website, ” said Miller. The tour winds through Cole Village neighborhoods on the Boise Bench. “The homeowners definitely know they’re on the tour,” said Miller. “The homeowners’ association has a big contest for the best-decorated home.” Miller has added a special Boise Historical tour to her holiday schedule at 11

From the company that brought us the inflatable fruitcake, crime scene sandwich bags and bacon candy canes comes the life-of-the-party Holiday Mustache. Seattle-based Archie McPhee, dubbed one of Seattle’s top 10 weird destinations, introduces too-weird-to-be-true stocking stuffers each holiday season. Other items have included bacon ornaments, squirrel underpants, stuffed latex penguins, mac ’n’ cheese air fresheners, inflatable meatloaf, bubble gum cocktail weenies and decorative sausage tape. (McPhee’s is a one-stop online shop for the meat fetishist.) The ’stache retails online mcphee.com for $4.95, but BW spotted one for the stocking stuffer-friendly price of $2.99 at Boise’s Record Exchange. You need only to remove the adhesive strip on the back of the Holiday Mustache, press it to your upper lip and prepare for hours of red-and-white awesomeness. “Your prized Christmas sweater needs one special accessor y,” promises McPhee. “And that’s a festive red and white candy cane-striped mustache made of lifelike, synthetic hair.” The BW newsroom modeled the Holiday Mustache in mug-shot fashion, which you can view at boiseweekly.com. True to its promise, the ’stache “fits most human and elf upper lips.” —George Prentice

a.m. on Saturday, Dec. 24. The evening holiday lights tours continue until Friday, Dec. 30, with the exception of Sunday, Dec. 25. Thursday, Dec. 22, 7 p.m.; Friday, Dec. 23, 7 p.m. and 8 p.m.; Saturday, Dec. 24, 11 a.m., 7 p.m. and 8 p.m.; Monday, Dec. 26, 7 p.m.; Through Friday, Dec. 30; $16 adults, $8 ages 3-12, $4 for 2 and younger. Library Plaza, Cole and Ustick roads, 208-4330849, boisetrolleytours.com.

an event by e-mail to calendar@boiseweekly.com. Listings are due by noon the Thursday before publication.

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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 23


8 DAYS OUT WEDNESDAY DEC. 21 Festivals & Events SOLSTICE CELEBRATION— Food, laughter and a fire welcome in a new year. 6 p.m. FREE. Reiki Energy Healing Center, 3939 Targee St., Boise, 208-353-0604, reikienergyhealingcenter.com.

On Stage A CHRISTMAS CAROL-THE MUSICAL—Enjoy this Charles Dickens classic in a musical format. Call 208-726-9124 for more information. 7 p.m. $25 general, $15 children, $35 reserved. NexStage Theatre, 120 S. Main, Ketchum, 208-726-2985. THE EIGHT: REINDEER MONOLOGUES—Daisy’s Madhouse presents Jeff Goode’s dark Christmas comedy about scandals at the North Pole. Call 208-854-9636 or visit the website for tickets. See Picks, Page 22. 8 p.m. $8 advance, $10 door. Visual Arts Collective, 3638 Osage St., Garden City, 208-424-8297, daisysmadhouse.org. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE—This live radio play includes the favorites from It’s a Wonderful Life, plus staged commercials, sound effects and music. See Picks, Page 22. 7 p.m. $10-$20. Sun Valley Opera House, Sun Valley Village, Sun Valley, 208-622-2244, sunvalley.com.

Workshops & Classes REIKI FOR SCHOOL TEACHERS—This special Reiki I class will help you develop techniques for the classroom to keep your vital life force in balance. This class includes meditations and energy exercises that you can share. Space is limited. Wednesday, Dec. 21 and Thursday, Dec. 22, noon-6 p.m. $99 for both days. Reiki Energy Healing Center, 3939 Targee St., Boise, 208-353-0604, reikienergyhealingcenter.com.

Literature OPEN MIC POETRY—8 p.m. Bouquet, 1010 W. Main St., Boise, 208-345-6605. PERFORMANCE POETRY WORKSHOP, SLAM OF STEEL AND HAIKU BATTLE—Part of The Idaho Loud Writers’ Program. Includes a performance poetry workshop followed by an all-ages poetry slam. For more information, email cheryl_maddalena@ yahoo.com. There is a $25 prize for the haiku champ. 6 p.m. $5 poetry slam, $1 with student ID, boisepoetry.com. Woman of Steel Gallery and Wine Bar, 3640 W. Chinden Blvd., Garden City, 208-331-5632.

Kids & Teens DRAMA CAMP—Children ages 9-12 can try acting, characterization, stage technique, theater crafts, costume and set design

24 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

at this day camp presented by Boise Parks and Recreation. Participants may give a presentation on the last day of camp. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $46 Boise residents, $70.75 nonresidents. Whitney Elementary School, 1609 S. Owyhee St., Boise.

nonresident for both days. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-6087684, cityofboise.org/parks.

REC ‘EM CAMP—Children ages 9-12 can enjoy ice skating, theater, fitness/sports, swimming, leadership and teamwork activities at this day camp presented by Boise Parks and Recreation. Contact recreation coordinator Clay Lee via email at clee@ cityofboise.org for more information. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $63.50 Boise resident, $97.10 nonresident per day; $121 Boise resident, $187

KARAOKE—9 p.m. FREE. Quinn’s Restaurant and Lounge, 1005 S. Vista Ave., Boise, 208-345-0135.

Odds & Ends

OPEN MIC—4:30 p.m. FREE. Shar Merritt’s Scones and Things, 750 S. Progress Ave., Ste. 170, Meridian, 208-888-3353.

NOISE/CD REVIEW ART FAD, VATOS Art Fad, a low-fi drums-and-guitar duo from Caldwell, formed in the spring and played its first show on the patio at Visual Arts Collective shortly after. It was a buzzsaw of noise that reverberated down the alley in a way the soft, indie-pop audience wasn’t entirely prepared for. The band’s debut recording, Vatos, was released direct-to-web as a free download on Bandcamp. It stays true to the band’s live style: raw, straight-ahead, no-nonsense blends of garage punk and noise pop played at an ADD tempo. The opening track on Vatos is a blistering 1:47 of raw guitar and reverbdrenched vocals buried in the mix. When it ends, the next song starts up in exactly the same fashion. It’s reminiscent of The Ramones’ infamous song transitions: 1, 2, 3, 4, next song and repeat—all of them with the same tempo and furious delivery. Most of Vatos plays out that way, like one continuous blast that halts for nothing. And while that technique is reminiscent of early Ramones, Art Fad’s sound is far rawer than the smooth pop blitzkrieg that reshaped the music of the 1970s. The guitars are higherpitched, with more snarl than growl and there is no bass. It’s a sped-up and strummed down version of the sound pioneered by garage-punk pioneers like The Sonics, as opposed to a turbo-charged version of The Beach Boys. Vatos was recorded by David Wood, the guitar player from local surf-punk band Teens and follows much in its style. Art Fad could almost be the actual teen version of Teens. Go figure. Though neither of the two members of Art Fad are particularly strong as singers—or innovative as instrumentalists—the spirit in their delivery is fantastic. In the moments where the songs shine through the noise of the production style, there are hints of something far more interesting beneath. There are several moments—mostly at the ends of songs—when the tracks resolve into spacey echoes and wafts of ambient noise that are fantastic. Were there more of them interspersed into the song’s arrangements along with the furious pace, Art Fad would be a really compelling band. —Josh Gross WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M


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8 DAYS OUT THURSDAY DEC. 22 On Stage A CHRISTMAS CAROL-THE MUSICAL—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $25 general, $15 children, $35 reserved. NexStage Theatre, 120 S. Main, Ketchum, 208-7262985. A HONKY-TONK CHRISTMAS ANGEL—Sajay is a beautiful young waitress with a dead-beat husband and a life about to hit rock bottom. A crew of country crooners from Nashville and Santa help deliver her a Christmas miracle. Dance numbers and plenty of country music abound. A dinner of tri-tip roast and mashed potatoes catered by Sizzler and served by the actors is available before the show at 6:30 p.m. 8 p.m. $8-$16, $15 for dinner, $2 discount for dinner and show. Kuna Performing Arts Center, 637 E. Deer Flat Road, Kuna, 208-955-0200, kunaperformingartscenter.org. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $10-$20. Sun Valley Opera House, Sun Valley Village, Sun Valley, 208-6222244, sunvalley.com.

Concerts MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER—The beloved musical group returns to perform Christmas classics. Part of the Fred Meyer Broadway in Boise series. See Picks, Page 23. 4:30 p.m. and 8 p.m. Morrison Center for the Performing Arts, 2201 Cesar Chavez Lane, Boise, 208-4261609, mc.boisestate.edu.

Kids & Teens DRAMA CAMP—See Wednesday. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $46 Boise residents, $70.75 nonresidents. Whitney Elementary School, 1609 S. Owyhee St., Boise. PRESCHOOL STORYTIME—Stories and fun for preschoolers. 10-11 a.m. FREE. Garden City Library, 6015 Glenwood St., Garden City, 208-472-2941, gardencity.lili.org. REC ‘EM CAMP—See Wednesday. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $63.50 Boise resident, $97.10 nonresident per day; $121 Boise resident, $187 nonresident for both days. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/ parks.

Religious/Spiritual CHANUKAH IN SHANGRI-LA— This is a proven cure for any gelt complex. Candle lighting, family fun, spinning dreidels and dancing at 6 p.m., followed by Fleet Street Klezmer with two hours of klezmer-gypsy-Eastern European fun and dancing by the lovely Za’Nyah Zi and Cecilia Rinn. Allages show. 6 p.m. FREE. Shangri La Tea Room, 1800 W. Overland Road, Boise, 208-424-0273, shangri-la-tea.com.

Odds & Ends AMPED AND DANGEROUS KARAOKE—9:30 p.m. FREE. The Red Room Tavern, 1519 W. Main St., Boise, 208-331-0956, redroomboise.com. CHIP AND A CHAIR POKER— Practice your poker skills for free while earning points toward prizes and glory. 6 p.m. and 9 p.m. FREE. Eastside Tavern, 610 E. Boise Ave., Boise, 208-345-3878.

GENERATION ME COMEDY SHOW—Comedians Reggie Melbrough, Ryan Noack and Aaron Sheehan will perform in this night of laughs hosted by Olek Szewczyk. 8 p.m. $3. Neurolux, 111 N. 11th St., Boise, 208-343-0886, neurolux.com. POKER—Play for fun and prizes. 7 p.m. FREE. The Buffalo Club, 10206 W. Fairview Ave., Boise, 208-321-1811. KARAOKE—9 p.m. FREE. Quinn’s Restaurant and Lounge, 1005 S. Vista Ave., Boise, 208-345-0135.

NOISE/CD REVIEW TRANS ATLANTIC CRUSH, REMEMBER Even the most in-the-know Boise music fans are likely unfamiliar with the name Trans Atlantic Crush. It’s not that the band has only played a few word-of-mouth gigs; it hasn’t played any. Anywhere. Ever. Which is a shame, because its debut album Remember is easily one of the year’s best locally and not just because it was mixed by Guy Massey, a Grammy-winning engineer who turned knobs for The Beatles. Analog synths swirl and hum amid mid-tempo beats as singer Jim Cochell dishes out harmonies about love and loss. The album opens with the title track “Remember,” in which a choir sings and a synth sweeps. It sounds retro but not much more. Then the chorus comes around and it’s suddenly so much more. Strong hooks combine with anthemic lyrics and emotional anchors. The result is a sound smoother than the criminal that hit Annie’s place in the ’80s. The general consensus is that electronic music is for dancing. Remember doesn’t fit that bill. The primary approach is rooted more in the sort of pop songwriting that ruled the early days of the synthesizer instead of the atmosphere-rich danceable pastiches that have ruled its modern usage. The album’s best song is “Radio Summer,” which begins as a moody, arpeggiated piano ballad rife with Gatsby-esque themes of trying to bring back a time in which things weren’t hopelessly broken. But it quickly turns in to a bouncy singa-long that morphs the underlying sadness into a thrilling emotional geyser. But it’s hard to truly qualify “Radio Summer” as the album’s best track. Nearly every song on Remember will stick in your head. But there’s one potential problem: You may not think of them as being by Trans Atlantic Crush. With the exception in higher-fidelity recording techniques, Trans Atlantic Crush is nearly indistinguishable from early Depeche Mode. Kids just discovering the glory of dark electro-pop might get it backward and think Depeche Mode is ripping off Trans Atlantic Crush. And for a band that’s never played live, there are far worse fates. —Josh Gross

26 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

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8 DAYS OUT 637 E. Deer Flat Road, Kuna, 208-955-0200, kunaperformingartscenter.org.

FRIDAY DEC. 23

IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $10-$20. Sun Valley Opera House, Sun Valley Village, Sun Valley, 208-6222244, sunvalley.com.

Festivals & Events THE C.O.T. BIG SHEBANG—Thecotboise.com is celebrating the launch of its new line of apparel, inspired by the City of Trees. Limited edition T-shirts, sweatshirts, hats and prints will be available all day at the brewery (while supplies lasts). All of these items will be 25 percent off the day of the event. In addition, there will be live local music all day and soups and joes from Archie’s Place will be available. There will also be raffles and free taco coupons just for showing up (while they last). See Listen Here, Page 32. Noon-midnight. FREE (accepting donations). Payette Brewing Company, 111 W. 33rd St., Garden City, 208-344-0011, payettebrewing.com.

Food & Drink DINNER AND LIVE MUSIC FRIDAY—Enjoy dinner and a glass of wine while listening to live music. 6 p.m. FREE, cost for dinner entrees. Woodriver Cellars, 3705 N. Hwy. 16, Eagle, 208-286-9463, woodrivercellars. com.

Citizen IDAHO MOUNTAIN SEARCH AND RESCUE FUNDRAISER— Search-and-rescue volunteers will be at Sierra Trading Post to wrap your gifts for a donation. Also available are $5 raffle tickets for a Bogus Basin season ski pass valued at $455. Proceeds fund operations of IMSR, a 501(c) 3 nonprofit that receives no government funding. To learn more about the organization, visit imsaru.org. 10:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Sierra Trading Post, 530 E. Sonata Lane, Meridian, 208898-0261.

On Stage A CHRISTMAS CAROL-THE MUSICAL—See Wednesday. $25 general, $15 children, $35 reserved. NexStage Theatre, 120 S. Main, Ketchum, 208-7262985. A HONKY-TONK CHRISTMAS ANGEL—See Thursday. 8 p.m. $8-$16, $15 for dinner, $2 discount for dinner and show. Kuna Performing Arts Center,

THE MEPHAM GROUP

| SUDOKU

NEW REPUBLICAN CLUB (TREASURE VALLEY PACHYDERMS)—Guest speakers and an open forum over dinner for local Republicans. For more information, email treasurevalleypachyderms@yahoo.com. 6 p.m. $5 for members and $6.99 for nonmembers; donations accepted. ArtsWest School for the Performing and Visual Arts, 3415 Flint Drive, Eagle, 208938-5410, artswestschool.org.

Kids & Teens DRAMA CAMP—See Wednesday. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $46 Boise residents, $70.75 nonresidents. Whitney Elementary School, 1609 S. Owyhee St., Boise. REC ‘EM CAMP—See Wednesday. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $63.50 Boise resident, $97.10 nonresident per day; $121 Boise resident, $187 nonresident for both days. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/ parks.

Odds & Ends ALMOST FAMOUS KARAOKE—9 p.m. FREE. Neurolux, 111 N. 11th St., Boise, 208343-0886, neurolux.com. KARAOKE CONTEST—Practice begins at 7 p.m. and the contest is at 9 p.m. The winner gets $100. 7 p.m. FREE. Shorty’s Saloon, 5467 Glenwood, Garden City, 208-322-6699. KARAOKE WITH CHRIS JOHNSON—8 p.m. FREE. Jo’s Sunshine Lounge, 1115 N. Curtis Road, Boise, 208-376-2700.

SATURDAY DEC. 24 On Stage A CHRISTMAS CAROL-THE MUSICAL—See Wednesday. 2 p.m. $25 general, $15 children, $35 reserved. NexStage Theatre, 120 S. Main, Ketchum, 208-7262985. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE—See Wednesday. 3 p.m. $10-$20. Sun Valley Opera House, Sun Valley Village, Sun Valley, 208-6222244, sunvalley.com.

Food & Drink

| EASY | MEDIUM | HARD

| PROFESSIONAL |

Complete the grid so each row, column and 3-by-3 box (in bold borders) contains every digit 1 to 9. For strategies on how to solve Sudoku, visit www.sudoku.org.uk. Go to www.boiseweekly.com and look under odds and ends for the answers to this week’s puzzle. And don’t think of it as cheating. Think of it more as simply double-checking your answers.

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS

CHRISTMAS DINNER—Let the chefs at Castle Ranch Steakhouse take care of your holiday cooking and enjoy a stress-free Christmas dinner. 5-10 p.m. $14.95. The Boise Hotel and Conference Center, 3300 S. Vista Ave., Boise, 208343-4900. PIZZA PARTY—This party will feature free pizza and pop, an appearance by Santa, holiday music, prizes and exciting activities for children of all ages. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. FREE. Smoky Mountain Pizza and Pasta-Eagle, 34 E. State St., Eagle, 208-939-0212, smokymountainpizza.com.

© 2009 Mepham Group. Distributed by Tribune Media Services. All rights reserved.

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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 27


8 DAYS OUT Citizen IDAHO MOUNTAIN SEARCH AND RESCUE FUNDRAISER—See Friday. 10:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Sierra Trading Post, 530 E. Sonata Lane, Meridian, 208898-0261.

Odds & Ends KARAOKE—9 p.m. FREE. Quinn’s Restaurant and Lounge, 1005 S. Vista Ave., Boise, 208-345-0135. SINGING AND SIP’N ON SATURDAY NIGHTS— Enjoy $5 pours and tastings, then show off your singing skills at this karaoke/open mic night. 8

p.m. $10 wine tastings. Helina Marie’s Wine and Gift Shop, 11053 Highway 44, Star, 208-286-7960, helinamaries.com.

MONDAY DEC. 26

Goddess. RSVP is required. 6:30 p.m. $25. Facets of Healing Wellness Emporium, 717 Vista Ave., Boise, 208-429-9999, facetsofhealing.com.

Odds & Ends

Workshops & Classes

Kids & Teens

KARAOKE—9:45 p.m. FREE. Liquid, 405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, Boise, 208-287-5379, liquidboise. com.

ART AND CRAFT CLASSES—Learn a new skill and make something unique for the holidays. Visit letbeautyemerge.blogspot.com for more info. 7:308:30 p.m. $15. Meridian Entrepreneur Think-Tank Co-Operative, 33 E. Idaho Ave., Meridian, 208-6025129, meridianetc.com.

DRAMA CAMP—See Wednesday. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $46 Boise residents, $70.75 nonresidents. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/parks.

EXPLORING GODDESS—For women who are interested in exploring themselves as the energies of the

REC ‘EM CAMP—See Wednesday. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $63.50 Boise resident, $97.10 nonresident per day; $121 Boise resident, $187 nonresident for both days. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/parks.

Odds & Ends BEER PONG—Play for prizes and bar tabs while drinking $5 pitchers. 9 p.m. FREE. Shorty’s Saloon, 5467 Glenwood, Garden City, 208-322-6699. BOISE OPEN MIC MONDAY—Musicians, poets and comedians are welcome to take their turn on stage. Featuring $2 well drinks, $2.25 PBR pints and $7.50 PBR pitchers. 8 p.m. FREE. Ha’ Penny Irish Pub and Grill, 855 Broad St., Ste. 250, Boise, 208-343-5568, hapennybridgepub.com. KARAOKE—7 p.m. FREE. Shorty’s Saloon, 5467 Glenwood St., Garden City, 208-322-6699. OPEN MIC NIGHT—6 p.m. FREE. Groove Coffee, Espresso & Wine, 1800 N. Locust Grove Road, Meridian, 208-890-6128.

TUESDAY DEC. 27 On Stage IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE—See Wednesday. 7 p.m. $10-$20. Sun Valley Opera House, Sun Valley Village, Sun Valley, 208-622-2244, sunvalley.com.

Workshops & Classes FIT AND FALL-PROOF—Seniors will learn simple exercises to increase their balance in order to prevent falls. 11 a.m. FREE. Garden City Library, 6015 Glenwood St., Garden City, 208-472-2941, gardencity.lili.org. GUIDED MEDITATION CLASS—Spend part of your lunch hour on Tuesdays developing inner peace and discover how to increase health, success and confidence through meditation with Jessica Hixson from River Valley Hypnotherapy. Noon-12:30 p.m. sliding scale. Muse Building, 1317 W. Jefferson, Boise, 208-342-3316, musebuilding.com.

Kids & Teens DRAMA CAMP—See Wednesday. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $46 Boise residents, $70.75 nonresidents. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/parks. REC ‘EM CAMP—See Wednesday. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $63.50 Boise resident, $97.10 nonresident per day; $121 Boise resident, $187 nonresident for both days. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/parks.

Odds & Ends ALMOST FAMOUS KARAOKE—9 p.m. FREE. Eastside Tavern, 610 E. Boise Ave., Boise, 208-3453878. BEER PONG TOURNEY—Eight tables set up for play, $4 pitchers and a $300 cash prize. What more could you ask for? 10 p.m. FREE. Fatty’s, 800 W. Idaho St., Ste. 200, Boise, 208-514-2531, drinkfattys.com. STAND-UP COMEDY NIGHT—Test out your routine on patrons during open mic night, hosted by Danny Amspacher. 8:30 p.m. FREE. Quarter Barrel, 4902

28 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

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8 DAYS OUT W. Chinden Blvd., Garden City, 208-322-3430.

Food & Drink

Odds & Ends

KARAOKE—9:45 p.m. FREE. Liquid, 405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, Boise, 208-287-5379, liquidboise.com.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT WINE CLUB—Wine club members can stop in to pick up their Reidel stems and wine for the month. Stay for dinner and receive a 15 percent discount on the check. Twig’s Cellar, 816 W. Bannock St., Lower Level, Boise, 208344-8944, twigscellar.com.

KARAOKE—9 p.m. FREE. Quinn’s Restaurant and Lounge, 1005 S. Vista Ave., Boise, 208345-0135.

NAMI SUPPORT GROUP— Share your experiences, coping strategies and offer support and encouragement to others living with mental illness. Call 208-376-4304 for more info. 6:30-8 p.m. FREE. Flying M Coffeegarage, 1314 Second St. S., Nampa, 208-467-5533, flyingmcoffee.com.

Literature OPEN MIC POETRY—8 p.m. Bouquet, 1010 W. Main St., Boise, 208-345-6605.

NETWORKING HAPPY HOUR— Bring your business cards or fliers and mingle with other likeminded people. There is a guest speaker each week to assist and inspire you. 5-7 p.m. FREE. Her Spirit Center for Growth, 5181 Overland Road, Boise, 208-3453588.

OPEN MIC—4:30 p.m. FREE. Shar Merritt’s Scones and Things, 750 S. Progress Ave., Ste. 170, Meridian, 208-8883353. VINYL PRESERVATION SOCIETY OF IDAHO—Buy, sell, trade and listen to vinyl records with other analog music enthusiasts. 7-10 p.m. FREE, vpsidaho.org. Modern Hotel and Bar, 1314 W. Grove St., Boise, 208-424-8244.

Kids & Teens DRAMA CAMP—See Wednesday, Dec. 21. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $46 Boise residents, $70.75 nonresidents. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/parks.

POKER—7 p.m. FREE. The Buffalo Club, 10206 W. Fairview Ave., Boise, 208-321-1811. POKER NIGHT—6:30 p.m. and 9 p.m. Montego Bay, 3000 N. Lakeharbor Lane, Boise, 208853-5070, montegobayidaho. com.

REC ‘EM CAMP—See Wednesday, Dec. 21. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. $63.50 Boise resident, $97.10 nonresident per day; $121 Boise resident, $187 nonresident for both days. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/parks.

WEDNESDAY DEC. 28

WINTER DAY CAMP—Students in second-forth grades can learn how plants and animals survive the cold winter with hands-on projects. For more information or to register, call 208-4679278. 1-4 p.m. FREE. Deer Flat National Wildlife Refuge Visitor’s Center, 13751 Upper Embankment Road, Nampa, 208-4679278, fws.gov/deerflat.

On Stage IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE—See Wednesday, Dec. 21. 7 p.m. $10-$20. Sun Valley Opera House, Sun Valley Village, Sun Valley, 208-622-2244, sunvalley. com.

EYESPY Real Dialogue from the naked city

ONGOING WINTER GARDEN AGLOW—The Idaho Botanical Garden is once again transformed into a majestic holiday wonderland with more than 250,000 lights. Through Sunday, Jan. 8, 2012. See Picks, Page 23. FREE children younger than 3, $4 members and children ages 4-12, $8 general. Idaho Botanical Garden, 2355 N. Penitentiary Road, Boise, 208-343-8649, idahobotanicalgarden.org. HELICOPTER CHRISTMAS LIGHT TOURS—Take to the skies for a 15-minute helicopter tour of Boise’s Christmas festivities. Through Sunday, Jan. 1. Call 208-453-8577 for reservations today. $125 for two people, $150 for three people. Western Aircraft at Boise Airport, 4300 S. Kennedy St., Boise, 208-3449558, westair.com. HOLIDAY LIGHTS TOUR—Enjoy an old-fashioned trolley tour of Boise homes that are decked out for the holidays. Tickets can be purchased through Select-A-Seat outlets or by calling 208-4261494. Through Friday, Dec. 30, 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. $14 adults, $12 children younger than 12. Riverside Hotel, 2900 Chinden Blvd., Garden City, doubletree1. hilton.com. TROLLEY HOLIDAY LIGHTS TOURS—Onehour tour aboard the vintage decorated “Molly” Trolley leaves from the Evergreen Business mall. Tickets may be purchased online at boisetrolleytours.com or the booth inside the mall. Reservations are recommended. Nightly through Friday, Dec. 30, except Christmas Day. $16 adults, $8 kids 3-12 and $4 children younger than 3. Evergreen Business Mall-Library Plaza, corner of Cole and Ustick roads, Boise.

Overheard something Eye-spy worthy? E-mail leila@boiseweekly.com

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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 29


NEWS/NOISE NOISE COURTESY RONN SEIDENGLANZ

Portland, Ore.’s Tender Loving Empire is building on the “Radiohead Model.”

Local musicians pen original Christmas tunes

COURTESY LETA NEUSTAEDTER

A HOLIDAY SING-A-LONG STEPHEN FOSTER

YOUTHFUL, TENDER-LOVING FUGAZI Continuing its streak as Boise’s buzz band-in-chief, Youth Lagoon’s debut album The Year of Hibernation was picked by Spin Magazine as one of the year’s 50 best albums, No. 21 to be precise. That comes on the heels of the band’s video for its debut single, “Montana,” being selected by Pitchfork as one of the year’s best music videos and booking a world tour for the spring. Perhaps the next album will be called The Year of Hyperactivity. Speaking of hyperactivity, Washington, D.C., hardcore aristocracy Fugazi has played more than 1,000 shows since 1987, 800 of which were recorded. Those recordings are being released as The Fugazi Live Series by the band and its label, Dischord Records, with 130 of the recordings released on Dec. 1 and more to be released monthly until the entire catalog is online in one searchable archive on the Dischord Records website. The band is also encouraging visitors to contribute any photos, fliers or general show info they have. Users may access and download from the archive if they have a free Dischord Records account, but the band is suggesting a $5 download contribution. Occasionally bands other than Fugazi play concerts as well. A grip of them will be playing in Boise March 22-25, for the inaugural Treefort Music Festival. Organizers already announced performances from indie-megastars Of Montreal and Built to Spill on Dec. 12, but they upped the ante on Monday, Dec. 19, when they also announced performances from Blitzen Trapper, Typhoon, Talkdemonic, AU and Champagne, Champagne. More bands are being released weekly, which is convenient for you, since BW publishes weekly. And finally, Portland, Ore., indie label Tender Loving Empire, musical home for Boise band Finn Riggins, has announced its plans to build a potentially revolutionary new e-commerce platform for bands to sell music. Based off of what is known as “The Radiohead Model,” the platform will allow music to be vended for whatever the listener thinks it’s worth. “A lot of time and money goes into making the music we love,” wrote TLE. “This thought leads most people to feeling a little pang of guilt as they’re watching their free download finish. We want to eliminate that guilt.” The project is still in the fundraising phase but is expected to be rolled out sometime in 2012. —Josh Gross

30 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

Christmas music is long overdue for a makeover, but listeners seem complacent to hear the same sounds year after year. Maybe it’s because the songs are shelved for 11 months and hearing them helps listeners connect to nostalgic memories of Christmases past. Or maybe it’s because newer artists are unable to top the comforting sounds of Bing Crosby, Gene Autry and Elvis Presley. Still, artists attempt to crack into the ostensibly impenetrable Christmas canon. Some Leta Neustaedter (left) and Alex “Customary” Post (right) add a local spin to Christmas music. of this year’s more interesting fare includes former Stone Temple Pilots frontman Scott nations go to charities. The album’s choruses good mood?” asked Hopper. “The songs are Weiland’s awkward Christmas album, and celebratory and uplifting ... It’s nice to listen to tend to sample traditional Christmas songs, indie starlings She & Him’s collection of oldthat kind of music to help you get in the mood but Post fills out the verses with humorous, school Christmas classics. But even reputable original lines about the season. and right mind set for enjoying the holidays.” artists such as Bob Dylan and Sufjan Stevens, “I thought it’d be fun to put a little twist Neustaedter expressed similar sentiments. who both released Christmas albums in recent “Holidays are the time when our very frag- on Christmas classics and give them a smooth years, seem unable to dethrone the oldies. hip-hop/jazz feel to it,” said Post. “Music sets mented society is on the same page for a little Even Boise musicians continue to supplethe mood and helps bring out a little joy and ment the old repertoire with new tunes and re- while,” said Neustaedter. “It’s the one time of takes on classics. Americana singer-songwriter year where we all get a little more in tune with fun in the holidays. It kind of lightens things each other and our energies are focused on the up a little bit.” Matt Hopper is one of them. Post follows a rich tradition of hip-hop same things.” Hopper’s song “Merry Christmas (Get artists who dabble in holiday music, dating Singer-songwriter Dan Costello is another Back on Your Skis)” is an upbeat, original all the way back to Kurtis Blow’s 1980 hit local musician who writes original holiChristmas tune with lots of jingle bells, man“Christmas Rapping.” There’s also Eazy E’s day tunes, including a holiday folk tune he dolin and lyrics meant to comfort the lonely. Christmas standard, “Merry Muthafuckin’ co-wrote with Bill Coffey titled, “Make the The song was released as part of the IdaHo Xmas,” and Snoop Dogg’s famous holiday Ho Ho with Moxie Java CD, a compilation of Season Bright.” staple, “Santa Claus Goes Straight To The “The lyrics are mostly imagery of the holiholiday songs from local artists. Ghetto.” Hip-hop Christmas songs occupy a “The song is about a woman who basically day spirit, like families and friends getting tospecial place in the holiday music catalog. gether for meals or gatherings, sitting around is struggling with mid-winter anxiety and However, if you’re looking to get on Santa’s singing songs or telling stories, and seeing depression,” said Hopper. “The whole mesnice list, perhaps rhyming about ho ho ho’s in sage is that if you start doing stuff for yourself people you wouldn’t otherwise see during the the ghetto isn’t the most practical way to get rest of the year,” said Costello. like going outside and learning how to ski, there. Hoping to stay in Kringle’s good graces, The song puts an emphasis on inclusion you might be able to come back from your the young composers at Boise Rock School and tries to appeal to all types of holiday depression.” took a different approach to their songwriting traditions—a trend that many modern musiLocal contemporary singer Leta Neuscraft. The budding songwriters put together cians follow. taedter’s “This Year” touches on similar a track called “Christmas Break,” a contribu“Our approach was to try and make it themes. It’s a soft, jazzy piano number that’s tion to the IdaHo Ho Ho with Moxie Java more universal and less commercial,” said supposed to provide comfort for those facing compilation. It’s a cheery punk-rock song Costello. “Not based the prospect of a lonely on how many presents that’s heavy on mischief. holiday. “We started talking to the kids and I asked I’m going to get or “The song is about Pick up a copy of IdaHo Ho Ho with Moxie them what they look most forward to Christsomething like that. somebody who’s alone Java at any Moxie Java location or at: mas for, and it was unanimous,” said Boise Rather, our focus was at Christmas year after THE RECORD EXCHANGE Rock School co-founder Ryan Peck. “They all to try and create the year, who’s hoping that 1105 W. Idaho St. look forward to Christmas break and staying imagery of the people this year they might 208-344-8010 and the emotions of it, home from school more than anything else.” actually find love,” But Boise Rock School wasn’t intimidated and some of the winter said Neustaedter. “It’s facebook.com/IdahoHoHoWithMoxieJava by the daunting task of writing an original imagery, rather than not a sad song, but it Christmas song. some of the Christmas does acknowledge that “It’s easy to do Christmas songs because imagery specifically.” Christmas can be very there’s so much material everywhere,” said Boise hip-hop artist Alex “Customary” lonely if you’re by yourself.” Peck. “You can write about how you hate Post adds a bit of flavor to Christmas classics Though their music may tackle weighty Christmas, how you love Christmas, talk by mixing in beats and rhymes. His five-song emotions, both Hopper and Neustaedter are EP, Customary Christmas, is available for free about Santa, whatever. We even took the lyrics fond of the holiday season. for one verse from the ingredients of a sugar “You know how when you come home and download at customarychristmas.com, and in cookie recipe.” the spirit of the season, all proceeds from doput on a Christmas record, it puts you in a WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M


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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 31


LISTEN HERE/GUIDE Jac Sound

GUIDE

THE BIG SHEBANG, DEC. 23, PAYETTE BREWING Local music and arts blog City of Trees made a big splash last summer when it released a free C.O.T. Mixtape featuring 20 must-hear tracks from local musicians. It left others in the local music community scratching their heads, not only about why they hadn’t thought to release a mixtape first but also why they hadn’t heard about some of the bands on the album. In November, C.O.T. added five songs to the mixtape. Not only was it a great debut as a local publication, but C.O.T. did it all before even officially launching. That launch, The Big Shebang, is slated to go down at Payette Brewing in Garden City. This shebang will feature performances from local bands Jac Sound, Mostecelo, Storie Grubb and The Holy Wars and SHADES. C.O.T. will unveil some new merchandise and offer it up at a 25-percent discount during the Big Shebang. —Josh Gross Noon-midnight, FREE. Payette Brewing Company, 111 W. 33rd St., Garden City, 208-344-0011, thecotboise.com.

32 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

WEDNESDAY DEC. 21

THURSDAY DEC. 22

CAMDEN HUGHES—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

AFTER ABBEY—7:30 p.m. FREE. Corkscrews

DUCHESS DOWN THE WELL—9 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s

CHUCK SMITH—6 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

DYLAN SUNDSTROM TRIO—6 p.m. FREE. Flatbread-Downtown

FRIM FRAM 4—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

GAYLE CHAPMAN—5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid

JAMES ORR—With Haven Snow. 8:30 p.m. FREE. Reef

HANNAH’S GONE WILD—With the Rocci Johnson Band. 9:30 p.m. $5. Humpin’ Hannah’s

KEN HARRIS AND RICO WEISMAN—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

JIM FISHWILD—6 p.m. FREE. Highlands Hollow JIMMY BIVENS—7 p.m. FREE. Curb KEN HARRIS AND RICO WEISMAN—6 p.m. FREE. Chandlers LARRY CONKLIN—11:30 a.m. FREE. Shangri La NEW TRANSIT—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s PATRICIA FOLKNER—7 p.m. FREE. Lock, Stock & Barrel PAUL DRAGONE—5 p.m. FREE. Shangri La SWINGIN’ WITH ELLIE SHAW— 5:30 p.m. FREE. FlatbreadMeridian WILSON ROBERTS—5:30 p.m. FREE. Flatbread-Bown

MIKE LAST—6 p.m. FREE. Salt Tears

Ned Evett

THE NAUGHTIES—9 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s NED EVETT—8 p.m. FREE. Lock, Stock & Barrel REILLY COYOTE—7 p.m. FREE. Shorty’s RYAN WISSINGER—6 p.m. FREE. Solid THE SALOONATICS—9 p.m. FREE. Buffalo Club STRICTLY UK FEATURING D.J. ORBUS—9:45 p.m. FREE. Liquid WAYNE COYLE—8 p.m. FREE. Jo’s Sunshine Lounge

FRIDAY DEC. 23 A TASTY JAMM—8 p.m. FREE. Jumpin’ Janets ANDREW CORTENS—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

DEE HISEL—7 p.m. FREE. Orphan Annie’s EQUALEYES AND STEVE FULTON MUSIC CHRISTMAS SHOW—10 p.m. $7. Reef LIKE A ROCKET—9 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s

B3 SIDE—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

MARCUS EATON HOLIDAY CONCERT—7 p.m. $7. Linen Building

BAD ELF BASH—9 p.m. FREE. Liquid

NED EVETT—8 p.m. FREE. Lock, Stock & Barrel

BIG SHEBANG—Noon. FREE. Payette Brewing Co. BRANDON PRITCHETT—9 p.m. FREE. Willowcreek-Eagle

POSSUM LIVIN—7 p.m. FREE. Willi B’s ROCCI JOHNSON BAND—9:30 p.m. $5 after 10 p.m., FREE for ladies. Humpin’ Hannah’s

WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M


GUIDE/LISTEN HERE GUIDE RYAN WISSINGER—9 p.m. FREE. Solid

RYAN WISSINGER—9 p.m. FREE. Solid

THE SALOONATICS—9 p.m. $5. Buffalo Club

THE SALOONATICS—9 p.m. $5. Buffalo Club

SONS OF THUNDER MOUNTAIN—8 p.m. FREE. Corkscrews

SPEEDY GRAY—6 p.m. FREE. Salt Tears

SOUL SERENE—8:30 p.m. FREE. Piper Pub & Grill

THE WORKING DJS—9:30 p.m. $3. Grainey’s Basement

SATURDAY DEC. 24 CAMDEN HUGHES—5 p.m. FREE. Chandlers CHRISTMAS EVE PARTY—9 p.m. FREE. Liquid DC3—With Cheryl Morrell. 7:30 p.m. FREE. Chandlers ERIC GRAE—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill LIKE A ROCKET—9 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s ROCCI JOHNSON BAND—9:30 p.m. $5 after 10 p.m., FREE for ladies. Humpin’ Hannah’s

OLD-TIME JAM SESSION—6 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s

SUNDAY DEC. 25

TERRI EBERLEIN—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill

DJ MATT ALLEN—10 p.m. $3. Neurolux

WEDNESDAY DEC. 28

GREG PERKINS AND RICK CONNOLLY: THE SIDEMEN—6 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

MONDAY DEC. 26 BLUES JAM WITH RICHARD SOLIZ—8 p.m. FREE. Jo’s Sunshine Lounge

CHUCK SMITH—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill DUCHESS DOWN THE WELL—9 p.m. FREE. Grainey’s GAYLE CHAPMAN—5:45 p.m. FREE. Solid HANNAH’S GONE WILD—With the Rocci Johnson Band. 9:30 p.m. $5. Humpin’ Hannah’s

JAMES LEWIS—6 p.m. FREE. Salt Tears JESSICA FULGHUM—5:30 p.m. FREE. Flatbread-Meridian JIM FISHWILD—6 p.m. FREE. Highlands Hollow JIMMY BIVENS—7 p.m. FREE. Curb LARRY CONKLIN—11:30 a.m. FREE. Shangri La NEW TRANSIT—8:45 p.m. FREE. Pengilly’s PATRICIA FOLKNER—7 p.m. FREE. Lock, Stock & Barrel PAUL DRAGONE—5 p.m. FREE. Shangri La REVOLT REVOLT—With Autronic Eye. 8 p.m. $3. Neurolux RICO WEISMAN AND KEN HARRIS—5:30 p.m. FREE. Flatbread-Bown SWINGIN’ WITH ELLIE SHAW—6 p.m. FREE. FlatbreadDowntown

PUNK MONDAY—8 p.m. $3. Liquid REX MILLER—6 p.m. FREE. Berryhill RILEY FRIEDMAN—6 p.m. FREE. Lulu’s THE SHAUN BRAZELL TRIO— 7:30 p.m. FREE. Chandlers

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

LARRY CONKLIN—11:30 a.m. FREE. Moon’s

ROB FALER—8 p.m. FREE. Jo’s Sunshine Lounge

TERRY JONES—6 p.m. FREE. Chandlers THE WORKING DJS—9:30 p.m. $3. Grainey’s Basement

TUESDAY DEC. 27

V E N U E S

Don’t know a venue? Visit www.boiseweekly.com for addresses, phone numbers and a map.

LIKE A ROCKET, DEC. 23-24, TOM GRAINEY’S Boise’s Like a Rocket do the alt-country genre one better by ditching the often over-hyped Old West motif. The band has dubbed its sound “Southern rocking funk and alt-country.” On “8th Ave Love Poem #1,” lead singer/guitarist Speedy Gray croons about his love for a New York girl with a bluesy tone reminiscent of Mark Knopfler. It’s the kind of song you want to learn all the lyrics to so you can belt it out while you hug the stage. A catchy drum line and guitar riff melt into an addictive tune as Gray sings, “Maybe what’s wrong with me / is what’s wrong with you?” The flute accompaniment on “Every Time Sweet” might catch you off guard, but you stay with the guys because they so perfectly fill their roles. The band is akin to The Animals in its early years, with a style that’s somehow classic and modern all at once. —Andrew Crisp 9 p.m., FREE. Tom Grainey’s, 109 S. Sixth St., 208-345-2505, tomgraineysboise.com.

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 33


SCREEN/THE BIG SCREEN

SILENCE IS GOLDEN The Artist is the best film of the year GEORGE PRENTICE For me, Christmas came early this year. I remember opening my favorite gift in early September. It wasn’t colorful (though it burst with a spectrum of delights). It made not a word (though the lovely music still rings in my heart), and it came from a foreign land (France, to be precise). All I could think about was Christmas while watching The Artist last autumn at the Toronto International Film Festival. Coincidentally this sugar-plum of a movie has been slowly Return to a simpler cinematic time with The Artist, a new silent film shot in black and white. opening in select cities, just in time for a joyeux Noel. Of course, the risk of praising The Artist about The Artist. Eyes quickly glossed over First, some caveats. Yes, The Artist is a too much is putting it on too high a pedesas I raved about a silent, black-and-white silent, black-and-white production. But it’s tal. So consider yourself warned—the movie movie. But the last few months have been a great film, and my favorite of 2011, due in solves no world crises nor offers any great very kind to The large part to those 21st Proustian insights on the human condition. Artist. Movie critics century oddities, not in The Artist is quite simply, and quite wonderin New York, Boston spite of them. In fact, THE ARTIST (PG-13) fully, charming, amusing and even gimmicky, and Washington, being black-and-white Directed by Michel Hazanavicius D.C., have chosen the and yes, it may grate on some people’s nerves makes it an ideal comStarring Jean Dujardin, Berenice Bejo film as the year’s best. who prefer their saccharine with a touch of panion piece to some and John Goodman arsenic. For those cynics, I can only say tough Last week Golden cinematic classics. The At press time, this film was slated to open beans. It’s a joyous movie, and I embraced Globe and Screen Artist has a bit of A in Boise Friday, Jan. 20. Visit boiseweekly. Actors Guild nomina- every moment of its celebration. Star is Born, a touch com and click on “Screen” for movie times and locations. The plot is rather simple—a silent-film tions followed, and of Citizen Kane and a I’m certain that, come star loses his personal and professional luster smidge of Singing in as sound is introduced to the movie industry. Tuesday, Jan. 24, the Rain. But the story serves only as a quite-basic 2012, The Artist will be on Oscar’s short When I returned to Idaho from Septemframe to a masterwork of art, featuring the list as a Best Picture nominee. ber’s TIFF, I told anyone who would listen

SCREEN/THE TUBE

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR SCROOGE? Black and white, singing or animated? GEORGE PRENTICE It’s quite possible that next to Santa Claus, Ebenezer Scrooge is fiction’s most-famous Christmas character. Ever since Charles Dickens introduced the mean miser in London in 1843, A Christmas Carol has been adapted countless times in theater, television, radio and even opera. Perhaps Scrooge has been immortalized in celluloid more than any other medium. Going back to as early as 1901, Scrooge has been portrayed in silent films, musicals and animated classics.

OLD SCHOOL Alastair Sim was born to play Scrooge. In fact, after playing Ebenezer in the 1951 feature film Scrooge, he was forever typecast—even his name is a bit sinister. The somber production aired on television for decades, due in large part to its copyright lapsing into eminent domain, allowing TV station owners to play it repeatedly without paying any fees. The 1938 American production

34 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

of A Christmas Carol, starring Reginald Owen, is another fondly remembered old chestnut.

SINGING IN THE SNOW Though A Christmas Carol is indeed a grim ghost story, it provided perfect source material for a musical. The biggest and best liveaction adaptation was 1970’s Scrooge, starring Albert Finney in the title role and Alec Guinness as Jacob Marley’s ghost. The film was nominated for four Oscars, and Finney won the Best Actor Golden Globe for his performance. The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) co-starred Kermit as Bob Cratchit, but the true star was Michael Caine, the movie’s only live actor. Caine chose to play the role straight, without any silliness or mugging. As a result, the film is one of the best Dickens adaptations on film. WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M


LISTINGS/SCREEN CON’T/SCREEN best acting, cinematography and musical score in a decade. Someone please put this film in a time capsule. As The Artist, Jean Dujardin is a wonder of the world. Dujardin’s George Valentin dances, mugs and dazzles his way into your heart. Co-star Berenice Bejo is Peppy Miller, the chorus girl who ventures up the winding staircase of fame as George is coming down. And kudos (or better yet, a bowl of biscuits) to a Jack Russell terrier named Uggie, who practically steals the whole show. Who’s to say why The Artist is resonating with so many filmgoers? Maybe it’s our cynical times. Maybe it harkens to a more innocent era. Maybe it’s just a swell film. And that’s all I ever wanted for Christmas.

THE TUBE CON’T/SCREEN

Opening THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN—Steven Spielberg directs this story of an intrepid young reporter whose relentless pursuit of a good story thrusts him into a world of high adventure. (PG) Opens Wednesday, Dec. 21. Edwards 9, Edwards 22, Edwards 14 THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO—This film follows Stieg Larsson’s first book in the Millennium trilogy. (R) Opens Wednesday, Dec. 21. Edwards 9, Edwards 22, Edwards 14 WAR HORSE—This Steven Spielberg film follows the extraordinary journey of a horse named Joey during the First World War. (PG-13) Opens Sunday, Dec. 25. Edwards 9, Edwards 22, Edwards 14 WE BOUGHT A ZOO—Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson star in director Cameron Crowe’s true story about a single father who moves his family to a zoo. (PG) Opens Friday, Dec. 23. Edwards 22, Edwards 14, Edwards 9

Special Screenings LATKES AND LAUGHS—Feeling a little left out of the Christmas scene? Watch to the Boise premiere of the politically incorrect film The Hebrew Hammer. Sunday, Dec. 25. 4:30 p.m. FREE, donations accepted. Congregation Ahavath Beth Israel, 11 N. Latah St., Boise, 208-343-6601, ahavathbethisrael.org.

For movie times, visit boiseweekly. com or scan this QR code. Had your fill of Mr. Magoo? Here are some other Scroogey classics.

CARTOON CLASSICS Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol, still considered by many to be the best of the best, was the very first animated Christmas special ever telecast when it aired on NBC in 1962. The program was so successful that producers rereleased it to the big screen every holiday season for nearly two decades. Year after year, audiences continued to pay to see Magoo, in spite of the fact that the show had already been televised for free. The score, written by Jule Styne (Funny Girl), was as good as any Broadway musical. Mickey’s Christmas Carol, Disney’s 1983 adaptation, starred (who else) Scrooge McDuck and Mickey as Bob Cratchit. It was the first original Mickey Mouse theatrical cartoon produced in more than 30 years. The hand-crafted artwork is quite beautiful.

SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT Scrooged is a 1988 parody featuring Bill Murray as a ruthless television executive who produced cold-hearted, cruel Christmas specials. The movie’s highlight came in the first 10 minutes, featuring adverts for some hilariously tasteless faux telecasts starring Lee Majors, Robert Goulet and John Houseman. Anyone remember “The Night the Reindeer Died,” featuring the Six Million Dollar Man and an AK-47-toting Santa? It warms the heart.

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

T H E AT E R S EDWARDS 22 BOISE 208-377-9603, regmovies.com EDWARDS 9 BOISE 208-338-3821, regmovies.com EDWARDS 14 NAMPA 208-467-3312, regmovies.com THE FLICKS 208-342-4222, theflicksboise.com MAJESTIC CINEMAS MERIDIAN 208-888-2228, hallettcinemas.com

FOR SECOND-RUN MOVIES: NORTHGATE CINEMA COUNTRY CLUB REEL NAMPA REEL 208-377-2620, reeltheatre.com OVERLAND PARK $1 CINEMA 208-377-3072, opcmovies.com NORTHERN LIGHTS CINEMA AND GRILL 208-475-2999, northernlightscinemagrill.com

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 35


REC IDAHO FIS H AND GAM E

A BIRD APART The ups and downs of chukar hunting RANDY KING I regretted the shot as soon as it happened. The bird flew up and out in front of me, so I pulled up and fired. Then I watched as the chukar fell down a nearly 100-foot cliff to the bottom of a ravine. “That is gonna suck for you,” mumbled my hunting partner. With the bird at the bottom of the ravine, I had to turn around and hike almost one mile back, then hike to the bird and back out to the truck. All that work for about 1 pound of meat. But, as those who hunt chukar know, those are the ups and downs of hunting the elusive bird that so many chase across Chukars may not be native but they’re a favorite among upland bird hunters who don’t mind hiking straight up hill. the hills of Idaho. Chukars are not native to Idaho. They’re a transplant from southern Asia. The first say it is not only more work to hunt the birds had an impact. chukars were released in Idaho in the 1930s, “The crash caused us to re-evaluate the but more dangerous. and the first hunting season was in 1953, ac“Since you basically hunt the more remote need for dangerous flights in order to judge cording to a 1967 issue of The Idaho Wildlife population counts,” explained Kemner. “We areas along the Salmon by raft or boat, Journal. From 1950 to 1962, nearly 20,000 now use other things besides the helicopter pushing the season 10 days later is a poor chukar where released in 81 different locacounts to predict populations. With weather decision,” said Bill Bernt, owner of Aggipah tions across the state. patterns and our professional backgrounds, Boat Tours in Salmon. He argued that the The birds—ash gray with a black band we can get an understanding of how good a later dates can be dangerous to rafters who running from head to stomach—have flourchukar-hunting season can be. While it might ished across a wide swath of the state. A map want to shoot birds. be anecdotal, it is still close.” “Last time I was guiding in October for on the Idaho Department of Fish and Game The department is also using other chukar on the Middle Fork of the Salmon, website shows that chukars can be found methods, including placing wing-collection the water temperature was dropping 2 across about 50 percent of Idaho, favoring areas along the Salmon, Snake and Boise riv- degrees per day. ... By the time we pulled out, barrels at popular hunting locations on opening weekend and asking hunters to leave the water was 36 degrees.” ers throughout Southern and Central Idaho. the right wings of the birds they shot. The In years past, the opening date for chukar IDFG refers to the habitat as “steep, rocky wings allow IDFG officials to determine the canyons with grassy and brushy vegetation.” hunting in Idaho was the closest Saturday to juvenile-to-adult ratio of harvested birds, Sept. 20. This year, opening day was pushed Perhaps a better way to sum up chukar giving biologists a clearer picture of the last back to Oct. 1. country is: “Holy crap, are you actually hatch. Officials then work backwards using Bernt proposed a different season along gonna walk in that?” the harvest data to come up with a populaisolated waterways. The birds are notorious for living in “We have all kinds of special hunts for big tion number and use that number to predict hostile, ankle-wrecking terrain—think rim the next year’s hatch. game. Why do we have to have a one-sizerocks and shale. Add a little sage brush, lots For now the chukar population seems to fits-all season for chukar? I would like to see of climbing and some cheat grass, and the be holding. an earlier season for backcountry corridors, picture is complete. “The typical chukar pattern is peaks and The tough terrain inspires a certain type of otherwise it is just a waste of the resource,” troughs,” said Kemner. “We seem to be on an he said. hunter. They are the type of people who will upward swing compared to 2007 and 2008. Another change this year is the way chuliterally walk straight up a mountain for a We are about flat to last year, based on my kar populations are monitored. In the past, chance at a shot. personal opinion.” IDFG would take an“I have never met Anecdotally chukar hunting has been great nual helicopter surveys a chukar hunter who in some areas and poor in others. This year’s near Brownlee Reserwas an a-hole. Really. wet spring and hard, long winter may have voir and biannually Think about it. You Chukar season is open until Tuesday, Jan. 31. For more information and hunting regulacaused population issues. near Luck Peak. But can’t be an a-hole tions, visit fishandgame.idaho.gov. I had my own issues when I finally found after a fatal helicopand be the kind who the bird I shot at the bottom of the canyon. ter accident last year would be willing killed three people, the The fall had left it a jumble of feathers and to walk eight miles department reassessed broken bones. Looking around at the Marsthrough a snowstorm like terrain, I found even more respect for its population count methods, suspending over rough rim rocks. If you are the eightthat little bird. The pain in my legs reminded helicopter surveys. miler type, you are automatically a non-ame that I had a long back to the truck. I was According to Fish and Game biologist hole,” wrote Sean English, a blogger for the paying for the shot, and I was certainly earnMichelle Kemner, the accident was not reUpland Idaho Forum. lated to the counting of game birds but still ing the meal to come. With this year’s late chukar season, some

36 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M


LISTINGS/REC PLAY/REC

Recurring

GLENN LANDB ER G

BURLESQUE CARDIO—Combine the sexiness of burlesque with a cardio routine that will leave you feeling like a vixen. Tuesdays, 7 p.m. and Fridays, 6 p.m. $10. Ophidia Studio, 4464 Chinden Blvd., Ste. A, Garden City, 208409-2403, ophidiastudio.com. DROP-IN ADULT BASKETBALL—The gymnasium is open for drop-in use from 11 a.m.2:30 p.m. Mondays-Fridays. $4 per visit. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise. org/parks. DROP-IN VOLLEYBALL—Drop in for a day game of volleyball. Nets and balls provided. Saturdays, 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sundays, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; and Mondays, Wednesdays, 9-11:30 a.m. $4 adults, $3 seniors, $2 youth. Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Road, Boise, 208-384-4486, cityofboise.org/ parks. Get a (near) Cirque-worthy workout at Ophidia Studio.

UP IN THE AIR Groupon got me at a weak moment. When I opened my daily email equivalent of a Christmas surprise and saw the special for Ophidia Studios’ aerial yoga classes—complete with a photo of a woman with Gumby-like moves suspended from the ceiling—I instantly saw myself in a new career as a Cirque du Soleil ribbon acrobat. I didn’t know what to expect the first time I went to a class. I’d been to Ophidia several times before, but always for the pole-dancing classes, which remain the best upper-body workout I’ve ever tackled. Knowing the studio, I had high expectations for my aerial adventure, and I was far from disappointed. I watched as the lights in the studio dimmed and a diverse group of aerial yogis—spanning ages, gender and athletic ability—fell into yards of fabric suspended from the ceiling. As they stretched out, I felt the room transformed into a sci-fi like landscape of people in different-colored pods hanging in the air, and half expected some sort of alien to beam down from the disco ball in the middle of the ceiling. After fighting with my fabric AERIAL YOGA Mondays, 8 p.m.; and ignoring the urge to rip it Thursdays, 7 p.m.; down in a fit of frustration, I Saturdays, 9 a.m.; $15. enlisted the help of instructor Ophidia Studio Angela Bryson and figured out 4464 Chinden Blvd., how to climb in my pod and Ste. A, Garden City make it move with me. 208-409-2403 Once I got the hang of it, I ophidiastudio.com was hooked. When I returned for my second session, I was sure that I’d have the moves down, and there wouldn’t be any further conflict with my wad of fabric. I was only sort of right. There was less bunching and I learned where to place the folds, but I wasn’t the most agile in my fabric pod. I felt the tension in my upper body release when Br yson grabbed my arms and stretched me into a back-bend while I was hanging upside down. The inversion portion (in which you wrap your feet around the top of the fabric and hang upside down) gave me the Cirque feeling I was hoping for—although I won’t be auditioning anytime soon. And the savasana that I always look forward to at the end of yoga was made even better by the fabric cocoon—sort of like taking a stretched-out nap in a personal hammock, which I could have stayed in indefinitely. I got the athletic-yet-relaxed feeling that I expect from any form of yoga, and left anticipating my next session. —Sheree Whiteley

WWW. B OISEWEEKLY.C O M

FAMILY NIGHT—Have some wintry fun with the entire family that won’t break the bank. Admission is $5 per person, including skate rentals. Idaho IceWorld, 7072 S. Eisenman Road, Boise, 208-3310044, cityofboise.org/parks/ iceworld. LUNCHTIME YOGA CLASS— Take a break from the grind and get in a yoga class on your lunch hour. Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, noon. 10 classes for $70. Sage Yoga and Wellness, 242 N. Eighth St., Ste. 200, Boise, 208-338-5430, sageyogaboise.com. MOUNTAIN WEST OUTDOOR CLUB—Member-led recreational activities throughout the year including hiking, camping, canoeing and kayaking. Upcoming trips include weekly Wednesday hikes of local Foothills and mid-week paddles. Check the membersonly group Web site to keep current on all recently posted and spontaneous activities occurring. Memberships cost $15 per year. For information, call Mike Fritz at 208-323-1383 or email mountainwest@yahoogroups. com. groups.yahoo.com/group/ mountainwest. POWER PARTY SCULPT—Get a workout with disco balls, Top 40 music and dancing. Tuesdays, 8 p.m. and Thursdays, 8:15 p.m. $7. Ophidia Studio, 4464 Chinden Blvd., Ste. A, Garden City, 208-409-2403, ophidiastudio.com.

Berryhill’s Restaurant · Bar Reservations at 387.3553 www.johnberryhillrestaurants.com

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1HZ <HDU¶V 1HZ <HDU¶V

$41 dinner buffet

menu on-line

Workshops & Events BOGUS CHALLENGE NO. 1— This freestyle cross country ski race is approximately 5-10k. Register on day of race and visit idahorunningcompany.com for more info. Wednesday, Dec. 21, 6:30 p.m. $1 per kilometer. Bogus Basin Mountain Recreation Area: Nordic Center, 2405 Bogus Basin Road, Boise, 208-3325390, bogusbasin.org. STEELHEADS HOCKEY—vs. Alaska Aces. See Picks Page 22. Wednesday, Dec. 21-Friday, Dec. 23, 7:10 p.m. $16-$50. CenturyLink Arena, 233 S. Capitol Blvd., Boise, 208-4242200 or box office 208-3318497, centurylinkarenaboise. com/home.aspx.

then ROCK iN the NEW YEAR

john berryhill & friends greg martinez & kyle love with

BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 37


NEWS/FOOD GLENN LANDB ER G

FOOD/YEAR OF IDAHO FOOD GU Y HAND

DUCKS IN A ROW Pile your plate high at Madhuban’s free lunch.

BOISE RESTAURANTS SERVING DINNER ON CHRISTMAS So you pulled a Clark Griswold and cooked your Christmas turkey until its innards evaporated into a puff of steam. But, hey, at least your goose isn’t cooked—there are plenty of restaurants that will serve your family a non-burnt meal on Christmas Day. Chandlers Steakhouse, 981 W. Grove St., 208-383-4300, chandlersboise.com. Open from 4-9 p.m., with a special holiday prix-fixe menu for $47 per person. Regular menu available as well. Cottonwood Grille, 913 W. River St., 208333-9800, cottonwoodgrille.com. Open from 4-9 p.m. with regular menu. Reservations encouraged. Denny’s, 2580 Airport Way, 208-344-9092, dennys.com. Open 24 hours a day, seven days a week without any holiday closures. The Flicks, 646 Fulton St., 208-342-4288, theflicksboise.com. Dinner will be served at the cafe from 4-9:30 p.m., and movies include Young Adult, The Descendants and My Week With Marilyn. Madhuban, 6930 W. State St., 208-8538215, madhubanindiancuisine.com. Open 11 a.m.-2 p.m. for a FREE lunch buffet. Open for dinner at 5 p.m. Modern Hotel, 1314 W. Grove St., 208424-8244, themodernhotel.com. Open for food and drinks from 4-10 p.m. with regular menu. Mulligan’s, 1009 W. Main St., 208-3366998. Open for food and drinks starting at 5 p.m. Murphy’s Seafood Bar & Grill, 1555 Broadway Ave., 208-344-3691, murphysboise. com. Open from noon-8 p.m., with a limited menu and holiday specials. Owyhee Plaza Grill, 1109 Main St., 208343-4611, owyheeplaza.com. Open from noon-6 p.m. with a special three-course menu. Sa-Wad-Dee Thai, 1890 E. Fairview Ave., Meridian, 208-884-0701, sawaddeethai. com. Open from noon-9 p.m. with a special menu. Live music from Michael Laky from 6-9 p.m. Reservations suggested. Sophia’s Greek Bistro, 6748 N. Glenwood St., 208-853-0844, sophiagreekbistro. com. Offering a special Greek holiday menu from noon-8 p.m. Thai Cuisine, 6777 W. Overland Road, 208658-0516, boisethaicuisine.com. Open from noon-9:30 p.m., with the regular menu.

Farmer Mary Rohlfing cracks into the smallscale egg market GUY HAND In the pre-dawn December darkness, Mary Rohlfing nodded toward a familiar silhouette perched in a tree on the edge of her Boise farm. As if on cue, a great horned owl let loose a burst of hoots as Rohlfing pulled on gloves, preparing for her morning chores. “Now that it’s getting a little bit lighter, you can see the bib on her neck area there. She’s kind of the mother owl,” Rohlfing said, her Mary Rohlfing doesn’t put all her eggs in one basket: She also sells organic produce at Morning Owl Farm. words condensing into translucent clouds. “And you named the farm for her?” the yoke; it’s a very deep, orange-colored apart. When Rohlfing finally unlatched the I asked. yolk. I like the flavor; it’s richer, more full of door, flung it open and shouted, “Come on “Yeah, we did name the farm for her flavor [than] a chicken egg—and we really because, in the morning, I’d come out and hear girls,” ducks burst out of the coop like a fire like Mary.” hose spewing feathers. the owls, just like we are this morning, so we “Once you go quack, you never go back,” “Some run straight for water,” Rohlfing named the farm Morning Owl Farm.” Rohlfing joked—parroting her business sloyelled over the flapping, quacking din. That was 10 years ago, shortly after the gan—as she filled her basket to the brim with “They’re like school kids at recess,” I said Sept. 11 attacks. Rohlfing, a tenured professor large, alabaster eggs. as the ducks ran into a fenced field, dove into at Boise State at the time, decided to make a And yet, as sunny as this farmer-duck pools and guzzled water, backlit now by a radical career change. partnership seemed, Rohlfing said her second cresting, yoke-colored sun. “I was in my garden on about the 30th of career as a diversified, local-food farmer had “It’s part of the reason I love what I do,” September in 2001 and just realized I was at said Rohlfing. “I like the routine of it all. I like come with some challenging caveats. home and where I wanted to be,” she said. “When I started to raise ducks in 2004, the fact that you’re working with something Rohlfing wasn’t thinking only of changes my prices for feed were half of what they are that’s alive ... that’s a mutual dependency. I she needed to make to her life, but of changes now,” she said as she walked from the coop to didn’t know this when I started but I think it’s she felt the whole nation needed to make in really hard to imagine farming without having her egg washing room. light of that then-fresh tragedy. Not only that, but the kind of communitylivestock or poultry as part of the system. It’s “I felt that we needed to, on a grand scale, based, small-scale agriculture Rohlfing hoped sort of the way it’s suppose to be.” rethink how we were doing everything. And it would help move America forward after Sept. Endless studies have found that diversified seemed to me that one of the big changes we 11 is extremely labor intensive. Over a sink of farms—as opposed to vegetable monocultures could make to be more self-sufficient and safe soapy water, she scrubbed every egg she’d color factory feedlots—are healthier farms. Acin the world was to begin to eat more food cording to Rohlfing, her ducks were an integral lected before shining a light through each one that was grown closer to where we lived.” part of clearing this once-infertile horse pasture to check for cracks and other defects. Rohlfing owned 8 acres of land in the “I have a friend who calls it ‘the dirty secret of weeds and insects and greatly increasing its Northeast Boise Foothills and decided to give fertility with duck dropping-enriched compost. of local food,’” she said as she scrubbed. “No up her professorship and turn her fallow land one can charge what it really costs them to “Using the ducks as part of our plan has into a farm. Along with organic produce, she produce, whether it’s a carrot or a duck egg.” been a real help,” Rohlfing said. “And that’s wanted to raise ducks based on advice she’d Without the subsidies and economies of why we try not to get too angry when it’s 8 gleaned from the books of Eliot Coleman, an scale enjoyed by industrial agriculturalists, degrees out in December and you’re trying to authority on small-scale organic farming. local-food farmers are often trapped between get a hose to run water.” As the light behind the their ideals and the limits of what consumers, Not to mention the 110 Foothills brightened, sliding even those who value local food, will pay. to 130 duck eggs she collects from slate gray to salmon pink, MORNING OWL FARM “If I really wanted to make a profit on duck every day during winter. Rohlfing began her duck-related 7020 Pet Haven Lane 208-850-6798 eggs—I mean break even on duck eggs—I “Speaking of eggs,” Rohlfchores: breaking up ice in morningowlfarm.com ing said as she grabbed a basket would have to probably retail these eggs at several drinking basins, adding and walked into the now-empty about $7.50 a dozen,” Rohlfing said. fresh water to rubber wading That’s $2 more per dozen than she charges. coop, “let’s collect some.” pools, gathering bags of feed, “I don’t think Boise folks are ready to pay Rohlfing is known in the Treasure Valley as then finally heading toward her duck coop. that much,” she added. much for her duck eggs as her organic vegeta“So the girls are in there,” she said as she “I think Mary is absolutely right,” agreed bles. Those eggs, with their large, golden yokes approached a shed containing 200 sleepy local-food advocate and small-scale chicken ducks. “They’re being pretty quiet for us so far, and viscose whites give extra lift to baked goods and a tender texture to omelets. Cafe de grower Janie Burns. but they’ll get noisier.” Burns has sold chicken eggs since Paris in Boise uses them in creme brulees and With the sound of Rohlfing’s voice, a few 1993 and also offers them below cost. duck eggs Benedicts. quiet quacks coalesced into a low chorus, “The best that I can do is sell my “They’re just a great egg,” said owner then rose quickly to a cacophony of duck 40 product at what the market will bear to Mathieu Choux. “I really like the color of calls that soon threatened to blow the coop

—Tara Morgan

38 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

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BOISEweekly | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 39


FOOD/YOIF CON’T customers who are willing to pay it— and appreciate it,” Burns said. She believes there are environmental and ethical advantages to smallscale agriculture and makes ends meet through a second household income. To help bridge the gap between her own ideals and economic realities, Rohlfing has tried value-added products like duck egg quiches and beignets. She has sold produce and other products at the Capital City Public Market and at the Dunia Marketplace in Hyde Park. She’s currently working on a partnership with parentteacher associations to sell mini quiches online and donate a portion of the proceeds back to area schools. Rohlfing said her concerns are less for her own farming future than for the next generation of idealistic young farmers. “The big question for me is, how do you create a farm that has a succession plan?” she asked. “I’ve been trying to figure out how I can bring younger farmers in ... and create enterprises that don’t just pay my wages and pay for the mortgage on the farm, but can create a job for other farmers. And I have to tell you, I’ve been working at it for eight years and I haven’t found the magic key.” As Rohlfing cleaned the last of her duck eggs, she said Morning Owl Farm wasn’t going away, but it would likely make changes. “Dan [Meyer], who is my young farmer in training, and I had a really serious talk about the ducks yesterday,” Rohlfing said with a sigh. “And we decided if we don’t make that quiche business work, we’re going to take ducks out of our production system, except on the very lowest level. It’s just an enterprise that’s losing money right now. ... So, as much as I love the ducks and as heartbroken as I would be to take them out of the system, we will do that if we can’t make this happen.” 38

40 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

FOOD/WINE SIPPER WINE GIFTS What do you buy the wine lover on your holiday list other than another bottle of wine? Here are three gift ideas that are sure to please: WINE BOTTLE COOLER PACK, LESS THAN $10 The wine bottle cooler pack is an ingenious, gel-filled plastic blanket that both chills and keeps your white wine at the perfect temperature. The Velcro closure lets it adjust to fit everything from a riesling bottle to a magnum. Give two so your wine lover can always have one in the freezer ready to use. He or she will really appreciate this indispensable accessory when the weather heats up, but it comes in handy all year long. PRIVATE PRESERVE, $12.99 Forget all the other devices, this is the No. 1-rated wine preserver, and with good reason. It injects a layer of tasteless, environmentally safe, medical-grade gas (a mix of argon, carbon dioxide and nitrogen) over the surface of the wine in the bottle. It’s the same principal behind the commercial Cruvinet systems you’ve seen at wine bars, but in a can designed for home use. One can preserves 120 bottles of opened wine. VINTURI ESSENTIAL WINE AERATOR, $39.99 This is the one for the wine lover who has everything. It’s no secret that most red wine benefits from being decanted—letting the wine breathe a bit helps it to open up and reveal more flavor. Young wine, especially, is often filled with carbon dioxide, which acts as a reductive agent preserving the flavors but also mutes them early on. Decanting was the traditional method to counteract this (although it’s just one of the reasons to decant). Now there’s the Vinturi, a high-tech alternative. Just hold the aerator over a glass and pour wine through it for immediate aeration. The Vinturi mixes in just the right amount of air and generates a cool slurping noise as you pour the wine through. —David Kirkpatrick WWW. B O I S E WE E KLY. C O M


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R E A L ES TAT E BW RENTALS EXECUTIVE CONDO 2BD, 1BA. Hardwood flrs., granite, all stainless, cherry cabinets. W/D incl, A/C & electric heat. Walk-up street access. Gated secure parking. HOA inc. Built 2008. $1050/ mo. Call Don 880-2746. GETAWAYS & GROUP EVENTS! Getaway to Cascade at Birch Glen Lodge & Motel. 27 newly remodeled clean, comfortable rooms with common area lodge, large grassy BBQ area, wireless internet, sauna, billiard table, big screen TV, foosball, air hockey & large parking area for trailers, snowmobiles, and trucks. Route 55 cafe next door provides catering service making Birch Glen the perfect location for group events including wedding receptions, family reunions, church retreats, and more. NAMPA 1BD+. Charming basement apartment on the lower level of a quiet residential home with its own private entrance. Windows in every room, clean and bright. Near NNU off 12th Ave South. No lease, 15 day notice to vacate. $375. Call 333-0066. NORTH END APARTMENT 1BD in the heart of the North End. Perfect location -2 blocks from Camels Back, 4 from Hyde Park, at the corner of 11th and Ridenbaugh. Cute, clean, quiet, and compact. Hardwood floors, off street parking, garden area. Completely remodeled 4 yrs. ago. W/S/T and hot water paid. Sorry, no smoking or pets. $500/ mo. Deposit $400. Call 841-6808.

BW BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES $500 WEEKLY ASSEMBLING PRODUCTS from home. For free information, send SASE: HOME WORKS-apBW, PO BOx 101, ROseville, CA 95661.

BOISE W E E KLY BW VOLUNTEERS ROLLER DERBY TRAINER The Treasure Valley Rollergirls are looking for an additional coach/ trainer for the 2012 season. The prospective coach will run practices and drills designed to increase the overall athleticism of TVR. This coach must have experience in playing and or coaching in competitive sports. A derby background is not required. TVR has practices 3 nights/wk. This is a volunteer position. Please submit resume and letter why you should be TVR’s next coach to: tvrgirls@gmail.com Subject Line: Coach/Trainer Application. FREE ON-LINE CLASSIFIED ADS Place your FREE on-line classifieds at www.boiseweekly.com. It’s easy! Just click on “Post Your FREE Ad.” No phone calls please.

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Boise Weekly’s office is located at 523 Broad Street in downtown Boise. We are on the corner of 6th and Broad between Front and Myrtle streets.

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NEED YOUR GED® DIPLOMA? We offer no-cost tutoring! For details, call 855-591-2920. STEVENS-HENAGER COLLEGE. GEDprepClasses.com

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BW ANNOUNCEMENTS STOLEN CAR A 1994 VOLVO 840 Wagon. White with a Borah HS Parking sticker on the windshield/ drivers side, ID license plate number 1A2T425. If you see this vehicle, please call the Boise Police Department at 208-377-6790. Last seen on Michigan St./Ave in Boise. ASAP! All of her school work (yes, everything from her senior year) is also in the car.

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LINE ADS: Monday, 10 a.m. DISPLAY: Thursday, 3 p.m. * Some special issues and holiday issues may have earlier deadlines.

RATES We are not afraid to admit that we are cheap, and easy, too! Call (208) 344-2055 and ask for classifieds. We think you’ll agree.

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C A R EERS BW HELP WANTED STATION FOR LEASE! Plush Hair Lounge has 2 stations available to lease! Rent is only $95/wk & your first 2 weeks are free to move in! Stations are private so you may decorate as you please, have a chair and mirror, and we also provide backbar, towels, and a personal supply cabinet! We are small, super trendy, and have a great, relaxing environment that our clients rave about! Call Crystal if interested 283-7186...and don’t forget to google us to check out our many websites and pictures! FREE ON-LINE CLASSIFIED ADS Place your FREE on-line classifieds at www.boiseweekly.com. It’s easy! Just click on “Post Your FREE Ad.” No phone calls please.

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BW LOST LOST KITTY! REWARD! Small black and white long-haired female, 2 yrs, old. Black nose, black splotch on chin, white lightning bolt shape on forehead, white whiskers. Was last seen 12/3/11 in NE Boise, Fort Boise area. If found, call 830-6607.

Classified advertising must be paid in advance unless approved credit terms are established. You may pay with credit card, cash, check or money order.

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B O I S E W E E K LY THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE

SERVICES BW CHILD PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293 (Void in Illinois).

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT - MASSAGE

BW PROFESSIONAL CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com

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A full body, hot oil massage. In home studio/shower. $45 flat hr. 841-1320. Terrance. MASSAGE BY GINA Full Body Treatment/Relaxation, Pain Relief & Tension Release. Call 908-3383.

COME EXPERIENCE MASSAGE BY SAM

Hot tub available, heated table, hot oil full-body Swedish massage. Total seclusion. Days/ Eves/Weekends. Visa/Master Card accepted, Male only. 866-2759.

SHOP HERE

BW BEAUTY CUTTIN LOOSE HAIR SALON $5 off any chemical services, $2 off haircuts! Mention this ad. Located at 16472 Franklin Rd, Nampa. 463-4422. Come on in and check us out!

*SPEND A DAY IN NAMPA*

Holiday Hair Special at Nina’s A & C Salon. Senior haircuts $10, Sets $12. Inside Village Square, downtown Nampa, 1305 2nd St. South. Call Nina for an appt. 5708526. PERMANENT MAKEUP $50 How would you like to wake up with makeup? Dreaming of fuller looking lips in peach or pale pink and the color never washes off? Want a permanent eyeliner in a color to enhance your natural eye color that doesn’t run into your eyes? Would you like eye brows that don’t look uneven, bare or wash off in the pool or during exercise? Eyeliner or brows $50, Lipliner $75, Full lips $100. Call Tina 208-890-0003 at Visual Effects Salon & Spa.

BW HEALTH & FITNESS BOISE FIBROMYALGIA SUPPORT Elks Rehabilitation Hospital 4th Floor, Sawtooth Room (right next to the elevators) 600 North Robbins Road (behind St. Lukes) Boise. Meet: First Saturday of the Month 1PM to 3PM email: boisefibrosupport@gmail.com Next Meeting: January 7, 2012.

VAP FOR THE HOLIDAY

510 eCigarette kit is $36.95. It makes a perfect gift for Christmas at Vapoligy, 4935 N. Bradley St. Behind Boise Army Navy Store on Chinden. Call 906-2611 for info or www.vapoligy.com

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*AMATEUR MASSAGE BY ERIC*

1/2 hr. $15. FULL BODY. Hot oil, 24/7. I travel. 880-5772. New website massagebyeric.com. Male Only. Private Boise studio. A Full body massage by experienced therapist. Out call or private studio. 863-1577 Thomas.

42 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly C L A S S I F I E D S

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MYSTIC MOON MASSAGE Christmas Gift Certificates 3 for $75. Hours 1-10pm, 7 days/wk. by appt. 90 min. for $40. 322 Lake Lowell, Nampa. 283-7830. Betty.

COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS Come home to Saint Joseph Reformed Catholic Community. We are an open and affirming community. Our sacraments are valid as described in Cardinal Ratzinger’s (pre-pope) document Dominus Iesus which can be found on the Vatican’s website. Mass is held every Saturday evening at 5pm at Boise First UCC, 2201 Woodlawn Boise. Come home for Christmas and partake in the comfort, peace and welcome of the Reformed Catholic Community of St. Joseph. Contact number is 208-914-5934.

BOISE’S BEST! With Bodywork by Rose. 794-4789. www.roseshands.com ULM 340-8377. Hrs. 8:30AM8PM.

VIP MASSAGE

Free Foot Bath for Body Detox with 1 hr. foot massage. Treatments for acute and chronic cold hands & feet. Body Massage with special techniques. Pain Relief. 377-7711. Stop by 6555 W. Overland Rd near Cole.

PETS BW PETS

BUNNY NEEDS A GOOD HOME I need to find a good home for a 6 month old, male, sable (brown), rex (velveteen) rabbit. He is very playful and active and has a healthy appetite. Please contact autumntjohnson@gmail.com INDY WE WILL MISS YOU Dear Indigo, You have been a loving neighbor & friend to our family. We will miss looking after you, giving you your pills on a peanut butter spoon & wrestling to get you outside when your family is away. Most of all we will simply miss your lovely, gentle face.

M U SI C BW MUSIC INSTRUCTION/OTHER YAMAHA P2050 POWER AMP The rack mountable P2050 is low wattage power amp great for the monitor system. It comes with the manual, speaker cords and case. Very good condition. $100. Call 342-3286.

ADOPT-A-PET

BW SPIRITUAL Check Out: eckankar-idaho.org

PETS

PET MEMORIAL

These pets can be adopted at the Idaho Humane Society. www.idahohumanesociety.com 4775 W. Dorman St. Boise | 208-342-3508

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PENNY: 3-year-old female domestic longhair cat. Beautiful, silky coat. Needs to be an indoor cat. Loves to be held, affectionate. (Kennel 16- #14457047)

VIOLET: 1-year-old female Lab mix. Slightly aloof, energetic girl who needs an owner willing bond. Good with other dogs. (Kennel 304#14129471)

QUIXOTE: 7-month-old male domestic shorthair. Lost an eye to an infection. Good with other cats and small dogs. Indoor-only cat. (Kennel 37- #14831692)

MIRA: 1-year-old female domestic shorthair cat. Affectionate, good with children and other cats. Litterbox-trained. (Kennel 18- #14534619)

DOBIE: 5-year-old male Australian cattle dog and border collie mix. Gentle, loving, attentive dog. Loves training with treats. House dog. (Kennel 310- #13853127)

LAYLA: 4-year-old female Lab mix. Thinks she is a lap dog. Good with some dogs. Needs strong owner for exercise and training. (Kennel 409- #14569358)

These pets can be adopted at Simply Cats. www.simplycats.org 2833 S. Victory View Way | 208-343-7177

MELODY: Whisker wonderland—Dec. 23 only $10 to adopt.

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MISTLETOE: Bring OPA: Large, lovely lass some holiday cheer into longs for a lifetime love, your life. like you.

BOISEweekly C L A S S I F I E D S | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | 43


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B O I S E W E E K LY Couch & Loveseat - Microfiber. Stain Resistant. Lifetime Warranty. Brand new in boxes. List $1395. Must Sell $425! 888-1464. KING SIZE PILLOW TOP MATTRESS SET. New - in bag, w/ warranty. MUST SELL $199. Call 921-6643. QUEEN PILLOWTOP MATTRESS SET. Brand new-still in plastic. Warranty. MUST SELL $139. Can deliver. 921-6643. UNIQUE CHRISTMAS GIFT We are a local beekeeping family & have honey for sale. Our honey is all natural, pure, produced organically, & unfiltered. It tastes amazing compared to the storebought honey! $10/pint, $15/ quart. Call Alex at 208-921-1503, or Katie at 208-409-9473.

FOR SALE BW STUFF 8” DOBSONIAN TELESCOPE 3 Plossl eye pieces, several lens filter set’s, Astronomy Search Software. Owner manual & specs catalog. Asking $325. Paul 465-0498. Bed, Queen Tempurpedic Style Memory Foam Mattress. Brand new, w/warranty. Must sell $225. 921-6643. BEDROOM SET 7 pc. Cherry set. Brand new, still boxed. Retail $2250, Sacrifice $450. 888-1464.

VINTAGE CHRISTMAS GIFTS

Signed Hallmark Ornaments- (2) Santa Armoire, 2010 artist signing. 1950’s Stamp Collection. Ashton Drake knickknacks & Matthew & Heather dolls. Call 587-4872.

BW ART, ANTIQUES & COLLECTABLES ART CLASSES IN NAMPA Art classes starting in January in oil graphite, charcoal, or soft pastel. Location at the Hasbrouck House in Nampa. Call or email for more information: Ginger Lantz, 208-466-6879. gdlantz@gmail.com

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BARTER BW NEED

CADILLAC SEVILLE 1997 SLS, Light Medici Red, Sedan, 32 Valve, 4.6 L, LD8 Northstar V8, 275 HP. Excellent condition. 82K mi., fully loaded, leather interior. Car cover included. $4,500 OBO. To view the vehicle, contact 208-869-5666 to arrange an appointment.

TRADE

Accepting Knickknacks for in store trade at A Thrift Store with a Twist. Jewelry, DVD’s, Clothes. 4610 W. State St. 429-1226.

BW SHOP HERE MIJA’S BOUTIQUE FREE shipping for the Holidays! Starting Nov.15. These products make perfect stocking stuffers. mijaboutique09@yahoo.com FREE ON-LINE CLASSIFIED ADS Place your FREE on-line classifieds at www.boiseweekly.com. It’s easy! Just click on “Post Your FREE Ad.” No phone calls please.

NOTICES

4-WHEELS

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BW AUTO SERVICES

FREE ON-LINE CLASSIFIED ADS Place your FREE on-line classifieds at www.boiseweekly.com. It’s easy! Just click on “Post Your FREE Ad.” No phone calls please.

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com

NYT CROSSWORD | TAKING HALF STEPS BY TIMOTHY POLIN / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ 6 Jackson and Reno 12 Where a plant or animal thrives

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Just recently Maternally related Knoll Like trenchant wit Paper tray size: Abbr. Mercedes sedan Potpourri Burrowing rodents Home in the woods Kin: Abbr. Radiohead frontman Yorke 55 Cockamamie 57 Extraordinary and unexplainable 59 Play sentinel 61 Fix, as a fairway 62 “The Clan of the Cave Bear” author 63 Southern university whose campus is a botanical garden 64 Table scraps 65 Economic woe 69 Burns, e.g. 73 Ones pictured in corp. reports 74 Newspaper units: Abbr. 75 Body of water in a volcanic crater, for one 76 Group that doesn’t believe in revolution? 82 #2 or #3 84 “Get it?” 85 “Lohengrin” soprano 86 Fixed price 87 Quick inning enders, for short 88 Walled city of Spain 89 Key 91 Modernize the plant 93 Trademarked marker 94 Spheres 96 ___-Alt-Del 98 Gusto 99 Draft inits. 100 Goddess with a headdress depicting a throne 102 Killed, as a test 104 Former transportation regulation agcy. 106 Dangers for children and klutzes 111 Immigrant’s opposite

116 1994 Schwarzenegger film 117 Judge in Judges 118 Neighbor of a Turkmen 119 Cactuslike plant of the Southwest 120 Doorway jamb 121 Remark after an awkward silence 122 Vocal skeptic 123 Hockey team, say 124 Nobelist Bohr

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Aircraft carrier “Open ___” Cruel Ugandan Veg-O-Matic company Planned Instrument played in the mouth 7 Short operatic solos 8 Kid minders 9 Glacial ridge 10 Render 11 Retired boomers 12 There’s no foul play when one passes by these 13 Brass 14 More pretentious 15 Vaquero’s neckwear 16 ___ a secret 17 Rikki-tikki-___ 18 Some punches 19 Slander or libel 27 Cavalry member 31 2005 biography subtitled “The Making of a Terrorist” 32 Seasoned hand 33 Sycophant 34 Repeated film title role for Jim Varney 36 Organic food label 38 Links chain 40 Orly bird? 41 Pass (out) 42 Potpourri 43 Lens solution brand 44 Fixed at an acute angle 47 Guide 49 Fox hunter’s cry

54 Shapes studied by Dr. Watson and his partner 56 Frequent answer to “When?” 58 Set-___ 59 Letter after pee 60 Wrinkly-faced dogs 62 Lhasa ___ 65 Dastardly laughs 66 Mario’s dinosaur sidekick 67 Like some cigarettes 68 Way to refuse 69 Pavement caution 70 Bottom dealers, perhaps 71 Cousins of giraffes 72 Tightens (up) 73 Backups for backups 75 “The Origin of Species” concept 76 Part of a freight train 77 Something a dome lacks 78 Samoan port 79 Former Connecticut governor Jodi 80 Welsh, e.g. 81 Robert of “The Sopranos” 82 “___ Andromeda” (British sci-fi series) L A S T D A D S

E L I A

B E E B

E U R O

S C A R E D C O W

K O R A N

M I T E R

O N R Y E

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D I D O K

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83 86 90 92

10th-century pope F major has just one Kind of kick Former surgeon general C. ___ Koop 95 It’s found near the toe of a boot 97 Apt to change 101 Inscribed marker 103 Ancient volume 105 Wispy clouds 106 Al who sought the 2004 Democratic presidential nomination 107 Water hazard? 108 Give a lift 109 They leave trails 110 Director Kazan 111 Piped fuel 112 Site for techies 113 Writer Grey 114 Organic compound 115 Tiny criticisms Go to www.boiseweekly. com and look under extras for the answers to this week’s puzzle. Don't think of it as cheating. Think of it more as simply double-checking your answers.

W E E K ’ S

A N S W E R S

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L A R S

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L I E U G T O F L I O S T H

O D L E E N O S A P R N A O O M S S S M G I E A S N L E Z E R Y M Y F E E L S O R O G A R I N N O

C A P A B L E A B U T M O E N

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M S O N S O N U A R L G E L L A S E D T A L E D A O F F G I S E L M E A N T C O S T I T R E W R O R

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ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS Exchange Students from Around the World come to the Treasure Valley in January. Ann Roe, international exchange coordinator, is accepting applications for host families for January 2012 through the school year. Learn more about high school exchange at effoundation.org or contact Ann Roe at annwitheffoundation@gmail.com

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the fictional world of the wizard Harry Potter, muggles are people who have no magical powers. Because of their deficiency, certain sights may be literally invisible to them and certain places inaccessible. I’m going to boldly predict that you will lose at least some of your muggleness in the coming year. A part of your life where you’ve been inept or clueless will begin to wake up and you’ll be able to fill a gap in your skill set or knowledge base. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): On Jan. 15, 1885, Wilson Bentley photographed his first snowflake. Over the course of the next 46 years, he captured 5,000 more images of what he called “tiny miracles of beauty.” He was the first person to say that no two snowflakes are alike. In 2012, Taurus, I suggest that you draw inspiration from his example. The coming months will be prime time for you to lay the foundations for a worthy project that will captivate your imagination for a long time—and perhaps even take you decades to complete. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In her memoir Blood, Bones & Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef, Gabrielle Hamilton suggests my horoscopes were helpful to her as she followed her dream to create her New York City restaurant, Prune. “I killed roaches, poisoned their nests, trapped rats, stuffed their little holes with steel wool and glass shards,” she wrote, “while my girlfriend ... walked through the place ‘purifying’ it with a burning sage smudge stick and read me my Rob Brezsny horoscopes in support.” I would love to be of similar service to you in the coming months, Gemini, as you cleanse whatever needs to be cleansed in preparation for your next big breakthrough. Let the fumigation, purgation and expiation begin! CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 1992, 30,000 Americans signed a petition asking the governor of Hawaii to change the name of Maui to Gilligan’s Island. Fortunately, the request was turned down. I’m urging you to avoid getting swept up in equally fruitless causes during the coming months, Cancerian. You will have a lot of energy to give to social causes and collective intentions in 2012, but it will be very important to choose worthy outlets that deserve your intelligent passion and that have half a chance of succeeding. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Palace of Versailles once served as home for French kings and their royal courts, and was the hub of the French government. To this day it remains a symbol of lavish wealth and high civiliza-

46 | DECEMBER 21–27, 2011 | BOISEweekly

tion. Set on 26 acres, it has 700 rooms, 67 staircases, 6,000 paintings and 2,100 sculptures. The grounds feature 50 fountains and 21 miles of water conduits. And yet the word “Versailles” means “terrain where the weeds have been pulled.” Prior to it being built up into a luxurious center of power, it was a marsh in the wilderness. I nominate it to be your inspirational image for the coming year, Leo: a picture of the transformation you will begin. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A guy named George Reiger is a certifiable Disney freak. He has covered his skin with 2,200 tattoos of the franchise’s cartoon characters. If you plan to get anything like that much thematic body decoration in 2012, Virgo, I recommend that you draw your inspiration from cultural sources with more substantial wisdom. For example, you could cover your torso with paintings by Matisse, your arms with poems by Neruda and your legs with musical scores by Mozart. Why? In the coming months, it will be important for you to surround yourself with the highest influences and associate yourself with the most inspiring symbols and identify yourself with the most ennobling creativity. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the classical Nahuatl language of the Aztecs, the word “teocuitlatl” literally meant “god poop.” It was used to refer to gold, which was regarded as a divine gift that brought mixed blessings. On the one hand, gold made human beings rich. On the other hand, it could render them greedy, stingy and paranoid. So it was potentially the source of both tremendous bounty and conflict. I suspect that in 2012, Libra, you will have to deal with the arrival of a special favor that carries a comparable paradox. You should be fine—harvesting the good part of the gift and not having to struggle mightily with the tough part—as long as you vow to use it with maximum integrity. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): What spell would you like to be under in 2012? Be careful how you answer that; it might be a trick question. Not because I have any interest in fooling you, but rather because I want to prepare you for the trickiness that life may be expressing in your vicinity. So let me frame the issue in a different way. Do you really want to be under a spell— of any kind? Answer yes only if you’re positive that being under a spell will help you manifest your biggest dream. And please make sure that whoever or whatever is the source of the spell is in the service of love. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The Environmental Working Group

wrote the Meat Eater’s Guide to Climate Change and Health. It concluded that if every American avoided eating cheese and meat one day a week, emissions would be lowered as much as they would be by removing 7.6 million cars from the roads. This is the kind of incremental shift I urge you to specialize in during 2012, Sagittarius—whether it’s in your contribution to alleviating the environmental crisis, or your approach to dealing with more personal problems. Commit yourself to making little changes that will add up to major improvements over the long haul. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Suzan-Lori Parks is a celebrated American playwright who has won both a Pulitzer Prize and a MacArthur Foundation genius grant. Between November 2002 and November 2003, she wrote a new short play every day—a total of 365 plays in 365 days. I think you could be almost as prolific as that in 2012, Capricorn. Whatever your specialty is, I believe you will be filled with originality about how to express it. You’re also likely to have the stamina, persistence and yes, even the discipline necessary to pull it off. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Pigeons are blessed with an extraordinary ability to find home, even if they’re hundreds of miles away. They have an internal compass that allows them to read the Earth’s magnetic field, and they also create a map of smells that gives them crucial clues as they navigate. A team of scientists performed some odd experiments that revealed a quirky aspect to the birds’ talent: If their right nostril is blocked, their innate skill doesn’t work nearly as well. (It’s OK if their left nostril is blocked, though.) What does this have to do with you? Well, Aquarius, you’ve been like a homing pigeon with its right nostril blocked, and it’s high time you unblocked it. In the coming months, you can’t afford to be confused about where home is, what your community consists of or where you belong. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): One of Alexander the Great’s teachers was Aristotle, who was tutored by Plato, who himself learned from Socrates. In 2012, I’d love to see you draw vital information and fresh wisdom from a lineage as impressive as that, Pisces. In my astrological opinion, you need much more than a steady diet of factoids plucked from the Internet and TV. You must be hungry for more substantial food for thought than you get from random encounters with unreliable sources. It will be time for you to attend vigorously to the next phase of your lifelong education.

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