LAU R IE PEAR M AN
Minerva Jayne knows how to handle her balls. Bingo balls, that is.
BEST REASON TO YELL MASTURBATE
A 6-Foot-Tall Blonde Bombshell Named Minerva Jayne
BEST PLACE TO SEE A PUNK
Liquid
405 S. Eighth St., Ste. 110, 208-287-5379, liquidboise.com
150 N. Eighth St., Ste. 226, 208-336-1313, thebalconyclub.com
When Liquid took over the long-empty space in Tuesday nights at the Balcony, a devoted group of gamers gathers for a friendly and the Ninth Street alley, we free game of bingo. It’s quite the scene: Infamous drag queen Minerva Jayne calls the thought, “Another bar. Big numbers while huddles of players gingerly mark their cards and suck on Tootsie Roll pops deal.” Now when someone they won as prizes in prior games. Sometimes, you’ll spot a state senator in the crowd posits the question, where or a gaggle of Minerva fans in homemade “Team Minerva” T-shirts. Sit a few minutes should we go for cocktails, a among the crowd and it’s obvious this ain’t a kids’ game. Minerva, the ever-gracious and slew of local musicians, the hilarious host, is just not content simply calling out numbers. At a traditional bingo hall, occasional touring band, an number calling is like a sacred rite. Minerva’s style is decidedly more irreverent. Nearly open mic comedy night, an every number has its own joke, song or crowd call. Like B-8. “B-8,” she calls. The crowd owner/bartender who knows quickly follows with “master!” And then Minerva: “bate, that’s B-8.” The crowd: “master!” how to sling a drink and Minerva: “bate.” Want to know what happens on O-69? Tuesday. The Balcony. regular Monday night punk/ hard-core gigs hosted by local label 1332 Records? BEST PLACE TO WORK YOUR ABS The answer is much simpler: “Liquid.”
WITHOUT GOING TO THE GYM
Hijinx Comedy Club
800 W. Idaho St., 208-947-7100, hijinxcomedyclub.com When the Funny Bone closed up shop, our heads were filled with grave images of Boise workaday citizens turning into humorless zombies ambling down the streets mumbling, “Where’s the funny? Where’s the funny?” Hijinx Comedy Club opened just in time to prevent a comedy-ggedon. A great view overlooking Eighth Street from the club’s second-story location, super servers and stiff drinks are reason enough to visit, but if you feel like the undead and need a good guffaw to remind you why it’s good to be alive, stay for the comedy. It’s either that or start eating brains. Your call.
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| SEPTEMBER 23–29, 2009 |
BOISEweekly
BEST REASON TO HAVE SOME JUNK IN YOUR TRUNK
Pengilly’s Saloon Booths 513 W. Main St., 208-345-6344 Sometimes comfortable seating does not an enchanting evening make. One magic formula for a night that becomes an “Oh my God, you will not believe what I did last night” story is: a double whiskey + live Americana music + dim light from an old-fashioned sconce + a small space that necessitates squeezing close together + the privacy afforded by a hard, dark high-backed wooden booth. It’s more comfortable than it sounds. We should know, we’re regulars.
BEST DELAYED DOCTOR VISIT
Martini Mix-off at Red Feather Lounge 246 N. Eighth St., 208-343-3119, redfeatherlounge.com The speared-ginger drink garnish that came with Red Feather’s martini mix-off entr y, Tolerance Juice, had the same unfortunate flaw as the mini cocktail sword: It combined strong booze with sharp objects. Each sip was a Russian roulette gamble with fate. Would the precariously placed wooden spears jab your eyeball when you took a sip? Or somehow find the safe-place crevice on the side of your nose? It was thrilling. And highly intoxicating.
BEST USE OF YOUR LAUNDRY MONEY
The Lift Holy Oly Night
4091 W. State St., 208-342-3250, theliftboise.com Though The Lift might not top the hip-hop charts, its 50-cent Olympia night is more hard-core than the thuggiest rapper. For $3—not quite enough to cover one measly beer at most bars—you get a full six-pack of icecold Olys chilling in a personal mini bucket. Tack on a $2 fish taco loaded with pineapple salsa and you’ll regret all those times you drank at home alone on a Tuesday night.
BEST REASON TO MIGRATE WEST
The Dutch Goose
3515 W. State St., 208-342-8887, dutchgoose.com After a few squirts of vinegar on our halibut fish and chips, and a few slugs off a cold, dark brew at this State Street haunt, we’re well on our way to lunchtime euphoria. Throw in a few strenuous games of horseshoes and it might be time for a finger steak break.
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