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CURIOUSTIMES BY ANDREAS OHRT
THE FUTURE IS IN YOUR CROTCH Last week, we learned about the supposed ancient art of phallomancy in which you read a man’s personality by analyzing the shape and size of his penis. It turns out that there is an equally bizarre method of divination for women. A Japanese author has written a book in which he claims that the fortunes and character traits of women can be read by studying the shape of their pubic hair. Kosai Jumon, 70, says as a young man, he started studying the pubic hair of women when he realized that the sexual prowess of his partners differed depending on their “pubic hairdo.” His system claims to be able to determine whether a woman will make a good wife or make her husband’s life miserable, and he explains that a perfect wife has pubic hair that has “a clearly defined endurance sub-zone and slight traits of a receptivity sub-zone.” Put simply, he says, “hair like this would indicate a good wife during the day who turns into a whore at night.” (Mainichi Daily News)
drugs, Mackie is still going strong 11 years later and has given away 13,000 harmonicas so far. “I can’t explain the joy,” Mackie says. “I don’t think Bill Gates feels any richer inside than I do.” (CBS News)
BOOKS THEY CAN’T TURN INTO FILMS If you’re starting your summer reading list, don’t miss oddee.com’s list of insanely titled books for some surreal reading pleasure, including Castration: The Advantages and the Disadvantages, Excrement in the Late Middle Ages, Curbside Consultation of the Colon, Games You Can Play With Your Pussy, F**kin’ Concrete Contemporary Abstract Algebra Introduction, Zen of Farting, The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America, The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories, and last but certainly not least, How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
I EAT, THEREFORE I AM FAT
And this week, we have not one, but two pointless studies from the “No Shit, Sherlock” wing of scientific news. The first comes from research on obesity that Scientists in Spain have discovered that revealed the astounding news that eating the air in Madrid and Barcelona is laced with too much food makes you fat. “The main trace amounts of cocaine, LSD, amphetcause of the obesity epidemic in this country amines, opiates and cannaboids. But before is the wide availability of high-caloric foods you book a flight, heed the words of one and the fact that we are eating way too many scientist who explained that “not even if we lived for a thousand years would we consume calories in the course of a day,” explained the equivalent of a dose of cocaine by breath- one brainiac. Meanwhile, over in England, two ing this air.” They also claim that the readings Oxford University scientists spent three years and $300,000 of the taxpayers’ money to were higher than average as the testing stations were located on university campuses discover that yes, ducks do enjoy splashing and that higher amounts of drugs are in the air around in water. (theheart.org /The Guardian) on weekends. (The Telegraph)
AIR POLLUTION WE CAN BELIEVE IN
THE GRIM REAPER HATES HARMONICAS
REASON TO GET OUT OF BED Great news for coffeeholics as the flip-flopping field of health and nutrition has changed its mind once again. The latest research now shows that not only is coffee not bad for your health but also that moderate amounts of coffee protects you from diabetes, liver cancer, cirrhosis and Parkinson’s disease. (worldhealth.net)
The feel-good story of the year comes from Washington state, where 70-year-old Andy Mackie is still alive after nine heart surgeries. He had been kept alive by a combination of 15 different medications, but when he could no longer tolerate the side effects, Mackie threw all his pills away and decided to use the money that he would have spent on prescripINTERNET FACT OF THE WEEK tions in order to buy 300 harmonicas that he A small percentage of people experience gave away to school kids in order to spread emetophilia—having an orgasm when his love of music to a new generation. “I really vomiting. thought it was the last thing I could ever do,” he said. But instead of slowly dying without his Get more news at curioustimes.com.
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| MAY 27 – JUNE 2, 2009 |
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