3 Holidays You Know You Want to Go On When was the last time you went on holiday? For most of us the answer will be “too damn long.” Next time you wanna get away, forget about it all and relax, consider these options before you book a package holiday in Spain or go on safari in Kruger for the millionth time. Considering the context, if I offered you anything other than the alternative, I’d be disappointed in myself. Now, my understanding of the alternative is pretty much anything outside of the mainstream. And what’s another word that begins with ‘a’? AWESOME.
The Whitby Goth Weekend, Yorkshire, UK As one of the world’s “premier goth events”, the Whitby Goth Weekend promises a long weekend of nothing but the best in alternative partying starting, this year, on Halloween. Founded in 1994, this event gives goths, punks, emos, bikers and steampunks the possibility of drinking their own weight in beer and dancing to what looks like an epic line up of bands for 2012 over the whole weekend. Personally, I would sell my ovaries to go to this. Anyone wanna come? www.whitbygothweekend.co.uk
Testicle Festival, Clinton, Montana, USA Apparently, ‘the festival feeds over 2 ½ tons of bull balls to its many hungry revellers.” I drove past the aftermath of this one in August 2008. I’d missed it by a few days, but I’d heard about it years ago without ever thinking I’d get to it. Just missing it only made me want to go more. Looking around where much drinking and ball-chowing had gone down (eish…) only a few days before, I saw a yellow school bus with the words ‘come and have a ball!’ written along the side. Hot damn, yeehaw and all that shit. IT’S ON MY LIST. www.testyfesty.com
‘Sacred Travel to Egypt’ Tours This is for the hippy in me. The part of me that wants to sell everything I own and go and live on a beach to sell drugs and trinkets to tourists. The part of me that wants to take most of these drugs on a daily basis and become one with the ocean, or sky, or the hepatitis-ridden needles cast over the beach, or whatever. Running from September 18 - October 2, 2012, this holiday is “a magical pilgrimage to Egypt with Danielle Rama Hoffman & Dr. Friedemann Schaub,” although we are told to “please note that due to the magical and spontaneous nature of these trips the itinerary is subject to change, although all sites listed will be visited.” Yep, that’ll be the LSD. www.shamanicjourneys.com