March 8, 2023 (Vol XXXV, Is. IX) - Binghamton Review

Dear Readers,

Top of the morning to ya, readers! Did you see all of those 4-leafed clovers I put on the front cover? Well, it must be your lucky day, because the premature spirit of St. Patty has reinvigorated the club and given us the strength to produce yet another issue of Binghamton Review. Thank goodness! I really didn’t think I was going to make it since, canonically, each production night halves the EIC’s remaining lifespan. (Each issue could very well be my last, but I’m glad I didn’t depart with the sexy robot being my last contribution to the world and consequently what I was remembered for.) Also, I might have made one too many jokes about the potato famine, and the overwhelming Irish population of the club has taken to hunting me for sport. To people inside the house I’ve been aggressively knocking at for the last ten minutes, can you let me inside? (URGENT: This is a time-sensitive question.)

We’ve got a great line-up for you today. In the spirit of the holiday, each article was written while each respective author was slam-dunk-drunk. Somehow, the articles came out better than usual. I initially thought that was weird, but then remembered how much easier driving gets when I’m “lit” and I don’t have to worry about all the pedestrians I’m hitting. In Mariokart, I mean. I’m definitely talking about Mariokart.

Make sure to read “Who Wrote It: An Overworked AI, or Foucault?” by FoucaultFan46 on page 5. The best part is, you don’t even have to know who Foucault is to enjoy or even understand this pleasant article. I know I didn’t!

Are you secretly in love with Logan Blakeslee? Well, you will be after you read “I’m Running for S.A. President to Abolish Parking Services” on page 10. Here he talks about how he’s running for S.A. President to abolish parking services. We ‘stan’ a ‘straightforward king.’ To learn more, turn to page 12 and read Arthur O’Sullivan’s “An Interview with Logan Blakeslee, SA Presidential Hopeful.” Through this interview, learn more about Logan’s run (NOT the 1976 sci-fi flick) and come to appreciate what it means to be a member of the ‘Logang.’

Yearning for a life you never got to lead? Malding over the fact that we live in a society? Say no more; check out “The Walls are Closing In” on page 6 by yours truly, where I discuss how American architectural and societal planning has led to an insidious increase in isolation. However, we have the power to stop this ‘loneliness epidemic’. We all do.

But only if we work together. That’s all for this issue! Happy St. Patrick’s Day, and as always, thanks for reading.

Sincerely,

Madeline Perez

Our Mission

Binghamton Review is a non-partisan, student-run news magazine founded in 1987 at Binghamton University. A true liberal arts education expands a student’s horizons and opens one’s mind to a vast array of divergent perspectives. The mark of true maturity is being able to engage with these perspectives rationally while maintaining one’s own convictions. In that spirit, we seek to promote the free and open exchange of ideas and offer alternative viewpoints not normally found on campus. We stand against dogma in all of its forms, both on campus and beyond. We believe in the tenents of free expression and believe all sudents should have a voice on campus to convey their thoughts. Finally, we understand that mutual respect is a necessary component of any prosperous society. We strive to inform, engage with, and perhaps even amuse our readers in carrying out this mission.

Views expressed by writers do not necessarily represent the views of the publication as a whole.

Advice Column

I offered to give you all life advice. These were your questions.

Why is everyone drunk and wearing green?

Because people insist on appropriating Irish culture to justify their binge drinking and debauchery. I should know, I am an Irish American and thus totally 100% Irish and in no way also appropriating actual Irish culture.

How do I do my taxes this season?

I’ll give you a quick and easy way to finish your taxes this season. First, get all the necessary tax forms that apply to you. Second, start making up any and all information those forms ask for. Third, make sure you never open your door to a stranger again (it could be an IRS agent coming to get you!!!). Fourth (and finally), escape the country on your boat where you will have an “unfortunate accident.” Congrats, now you never need to pay taxes again.

What time is it?

Time to get a watch! In all seriousness, it’s 25:60 AM.

I’d like to tell you a little story and I need you to tell me what you think of it. The other day, I wanted to go to Endicott, but the bus to Endicott was closed down—electrical interfetterence or something like that—so I resolved to walk to old Endicott, the city of future dreams. Now, I don’t know if you know what I know, but Endicott is a little more than a stone’s throw away from Binghamton University, so this walk was going to take me a while, especially with my bum leg from the war (Korean). So I’m sorry, but I just can’t walk as fast as some of these crazy kids these days can. But anyway, I walk to Endicott and it started getting really dark (it was like, 4 pm), and I started to get scared because some intimidating looking people were walking up to me. Now, the reason I needed to go to Endicott was because there was something I needed to get: and that thing was cookies. I really like cookies; I eat them every day. Endicott has good cookies. So anyway, this gang of people was walking up to me, and I yelled, “Step into the light!” And they did, and they were girl scouts… selling cookies. So I bought some cookies and walked home because they had my favorites: Trefoils. So my question was, where’s another good place to get cookies?

Target

How many tabs do you have open rn (right now)?

Eight google docs, a Gmail email account, a google drive, Apple Music, a crossword maker, my twitter account, and my GroupMe.

Why do we have to suffer in life?

Written by our Staff

To please our Lord and Savior Harvey Stenger.

Would you consider life to be fair?

No, but I also don’t consider much of anything to be fair. If life didn’t have any hardships there would be no reason to ever seek improving oneself. Don’t think about life as unfair, instead look at life as a challenge to improve oneself. If the glass is half full instead of half empty, you can find joy in almost anything. Oh wait, this is supposed to be funny. Yeah, life is fair for everyone but you. I’m rigging the cards of life against you specifically.

A woman pulled me aside in that corner of Bartle Library where everybody smokes and told me to “Beware the Ides of March!” What did she mean by this?

Much like the classic Caesar Salad, you are about to be stabbed.

How do I get my creative juices flowing again?

I don’t know but if you find out please tell me. I’m desperate to regain my creative edge.

I was doing a project with two women and while making conversation with them I had to repress my intrusive thoughts about bringing up esoteric topics like 4chan chudjaks and FNAF remnant theories or using the word “based” in every reply. Help?

The first step would be to establish contact with the human-sunlight-grass trifecta on a daily basis, as you are clearly terminally online. The next step would be to actually develop a personality, any would do, to be honest. Maybe take up knitting? The final step is to realize women aren’t real so there is nothing to be worried about.

I keep losing arguments in my head. How do I start winning them?

You need more confidence. If you don’t believe you will win an argument, you will never make up enough evidence to convince other people you are correct. Make sure your splintered personalities know who is the boss in your head, otherwise everything will just get stuck in committee.

I’m getting a haircut tomorrow. What should I ask for?

Probably a haircut. Alternatively you can ask for their hand in marriage, but I’m not sure how well that will be received on such a sudden basis.

Need life advice? Email manager@binghamtonreview.com for more wacky, quirky, and zany responses.

Who Wrote It: An Overworked AI, or Foucault?

By FoucaultFan46

How’s it hanging, pops? Anyone else need a cold shower after that sex issue? Euuuugh. Why we as a society socially constructed this social construct of slamming our moist meatlets together as some sort of ultimate desideratum is beyond me. I tell you, any pleasure gained from it is countervailed by the realization that you could be doing literally anything else and it would be infinitely more wholesome, like heroin.

Speaking of social constructs, anyone heard of Foucault? Now there’s a cat who couldn’t be caught. Always a master of trolling, his inscrutable prose bedazzled and vajazzled academics, students, and radicals alike with his indefatigable skepticism towards truth-claims, laws, and institutions, dismissing them entirely as social constructs, and thus appendages to the central hegemonic power structure or something like that.* Idrc (I don’t really care) about that part, I just think he’s a funny little guy, with a very kissable bald head.

(*Of course, I’m reading it wrong. Everyone reads it wrong. The only people who read Foucault “right” just so happen to be the ones who agree with him. They’re also more than happy to “explain” him to you, so long as you’re willing to accept some gruesome motte and bailey tactics. But I digress…)

What was I talking about? Foucault! That’s right. As I said, he was a master of trolling. In fact, he trolled so hard the year Star Wars was released, that he and numerous other French intellectuals crafted and signed a petition to abrogate the standing age of consent laws in France, especially pertaining to teenage girls and sodomy with even younger boys! Rofl, bro. Epic fail. Rightoids coping and soyjak-ing hard about this one. Still, the man wasn’t all talk, if his colleague Guy Sorman is to be believed. Now, I’m an old-fashioned sort. I believe that whatever happens between a forty-something French “intellectual” and Tunisian boys as young as eight on the gravestones of a local cemetery is strictly private business, and has no impact whatsoever on the former’s worldview and philosophies. That’s just putting theory into practice, after all. And we all love some good theory, don’t we?

Speaking of which, why don’t we take a gander at some of the big F’s writing, his “greatest hits” so-to-speak. He is, after all, the most influential philosopher in the world by citation-count, and credited with the foundation of manifold academic disciplines. And let’s add just a little spice—a smattering of silliness—to this exercise: In addition to some of my favorite Foucault quotes, I will have OpenAI—the fancy new gadget everyone’s talking about (and to)—generate a couple of fake quotations, and you, the reader, will have to figure out which is which. (I would say you’d have to find the truth, but we both know that would make Mr. F roll in his grave.)

Without further ado, let’s play some Foucauldian Among Us:

“Power is not an institution, and not a structure; neither is it a certain strength we are endowed with; it is the name that one attributes to a complex strategical situation in a particular society.”

“If there is, in classical madness, something which refers elsewhere, and to other things, it is no longer because the madman comes from the world of the irrational and bears its stigmata; rather, it is because he crosses the frontiers of bourgeois order of his own accord, and alienates himself outside the sacred limits of its ethic.”

“The production of knowledge is always bound up with the exercise of power, and as such, it is always subject to the contingencies of historical and social context.”

“I’m no prophet. My job is making windows where there were once walls.”

“The epistemic field is not a static entity, but rather a dynamic constellation of knowledge and power, which is constantly being reshaped and reconfigured by the social, political, and economic forces that shape our world.”

“We have to rise up against all forms of power—but not just power in the narrow sense of the word, referring to the power of a government or of one social group over another: these are only a few particular instances of power. Power is anything that tends to render immobile and untouchable those things that are offered to us as real, as true, as good.”

So, did you spot the sus impostors? Did any of them vent… your frustrations about power and society (and Tunisian children). What if I were to tell you that all of those quotes were real? They’re not, but it would be cool if they were. Perhaps the real truth is inaccessible to us.

In conclusion, Foucault’s bald head is very kissable.

The Walls are Closing In

By Madeline Perez

“Makingyour way in the world today takes everything you got,” or so says the hit theme from the ‘80s sitcom “Cheers.” This statement rings true for many, and probably goes double for you starving, broke college students. But I’m here to ask: Does it? Does making your way (in the world today) truly “take everything you [sic] got?” And what happens if you’ve given “everything you got” and, due to isolative architectural planning, you have failed to make your way? What if, through no fault of your own, you have been reared in a community that has provided no place “where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came”? This is a reality for millions, as children grow up in towns without social hangout spots, and adults live their small, boxed-in lives struggling to befriend other people outside of work. Wouldn’t you like to get away?

“Third places” are defined as areas where people hang out between their “first place” (home) and their “second place” (school/work). A term coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg, they serve as a realm where humans make enthusiastic contact with other humans. Places they can just exist, spending little to no money, and vibe for real, for real. Here, they “talk,” which is kind of like tweeting or texting with your mouth. They can also “build relationships” with each other, a process nearly lost to time and difficult for even the most advanced socializers. In “Cheers,” there exists a pub that serves the purpose of a third place, and people go there and socialize or whatever. I don’t know, I never saw it. I can only assume that the title refers to the act of clinking drinks together, which requires other people. (Though, what I do know is every word of that opening song, as I obsessively listened to it daily for reasons unbeknownst to me from ages 9 to 15.)

If you are a psychology major, fanatic, or if you read Myers’ Psychology for the AP® Course, you’re most likely familiar with the “mere exposure effect,” a phenomenon that describes how people are more apt to prefer things or people after repeated exposure. I know many of you are relating to this with your own personal experience: mainly, when you developed a mutual respect and near-friendship with the rabid raccoon you keep chasing off your back porch with a baseball bat at the unholy hour of 3 AM who always evades your batter’s swing by three inches or less. But I won’t miss next time. I swear on our totally real office, I won’t miss. Where was I? Oh yeah, the mere-exposure effect. This is a key aspect of third spaces as, since you and others in the community would hypothetically go there often, you will most likely meet someone you’ve seen before and possibly strike up a conversation. Just knowing someone’s face can be reason enough to engage with a stranger, and I mean that in the least creepy way possible.

Third places manifest in a vast array of different genres across the globe: the French café, the English Pub (which originally stood for “public space”), German Beer-gardens, and of course I would be imbecilic not to mention the

great swimming roads of Italy. (Granted, maybe not that last one.) And then you have the American… McDonald’s Burger? While you may be thinking “What the what? America has cafés and pubs and gardens and beer, how is this different?” Well, maybe I conveniently forgot to mention some aspects of third places in these other countries: they don’t just exist to turn a profit, they also exist to facilitate community health. They don’t politely kick you out as many American eateries do. Here in America, it’s against social etiquette to stay in a place for too long, even if there are tables open, and it’s REALLY against social etiquette to not buy something. Even if we have fast food places that don’t monitor your table and coffee shops that have free wifi for the workaholics, we’re still missing one crucial and key aspect of third places: accessibility.

Ahhhh, American suburbia, what could be more beautiful? I love those tantalizingly complex geometric circles of closed-in communities with fenced backyards and no sidewalks. I love my little enclosure. I love my cage. With enough birdseed and antidepressants to last me through the next decade, who could ask for anything more?

I am now going to starkly depart from my quick satire to a personal anecdote: I grew up in a community much like the one I just described. When I wasn’t “Rockin’ the Suburbs” with Ben Folds, I was struggling to socialize and find a ‘third place’ of my very own, a name I didn’t know was a perfect encapsulation of my deepest desire. Growing up, people didn’t usually “hang out” at specific places near the community, there was nothing “near the community” to go to that wouldn’t have you arrested for loitering (you know, the crime that literally means “to exist someplace for too long”). If you wanted to see someone outside of school, either they needed to come to your house, or you to theirs, and in the land before time when none of us had cars, this was left to the discretion of busy parents. Next, if you successfully had someone over your house and wanted to go do something, there was really nowhere to walk to—no end goal—so we took to walking the sidewalk-less communities. In circles.

I actually walked these circles daily by myself, rain or shine, as I was slowly being driven mad by the monotony of my daily life, as well as the neighborhood of identical houses. I wish I were joking. And the loops I walked in got progressively smaller and smaller, until I wasn’t walking at all—I was spinning, eventually faster than the earth, a ballerina pirouetting rapidly on both feet until I was just a blur and took flight, gliding increasingly higher, until I burned up in the sun in an instantaneous whoosh. I did it to send a message. Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Yet, like a lion pacing its cage, there was only one thing I could do, and repetition was not only necessary but inseparable. It was during those times I thought of Noel Harrison:

“Round like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel Never ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel”

So, I’ve been over how for a large swath of America third places are inaccessible, especially for the youth, since they exist farther away from the areas people are actually living in. The question remains: why were so many neighborhoods and towns built this way? In one oversimplification: zoning laws. In American suburbia, zoning laws exist to prevent the construction of anything besides single-family homes. This is done to prevent property rates from dropping and works well to keep suburban communities as insulated as possible. Why would anyone else go into a neighborhood with no attractions? While healthier-built communities have sidewalks and larger front yards to facilitate interaction with your neighbors, the most isolating ones, like the type I grew up in, had more emphasis on the backyard and barely anyone walked the streets beside me and the pairs of geriatric speed walkers.

Young couples are sometimes attracted by the “safety” of these features—if no one is walking outside and future children are holed up in the fenced-in playpen of your backyard, that means they can’t be ‘napped. Of course, this isolates them from other children as well, and many parents now believe that the only sure way to prevent their child from being lonely is by having another child. American children these days have the unique experience of intense helicopter parenting not seen in previous generations, and this is most likely the fault of the “missing children” of their parents’ generation and the fact that now, whenever some toddler gets ravaged by a pitbull, its broadcasted on every news station from here to Cincinnati. (Of course, our relatively new reliance on tech surveillance has made it easier than ever to monitor children.) However, according to the Washington Post, reports of missing children are down 40% from their peak in 1997, the majority of which are runaways. As far as parents should be concerned, their child is about 1000 times more likely to be used as target practice in some elementary school than abducted off the street. However, kids seem more leashed than ever, figuratively and literally, as parents don’t always trust them to hang out with each other outside of the house (or school) and tracking apps are becoming insidiously more common.

Some people believe that shopping malls were the true American third place, but this is inaccurate for many reasons. Shopping malls tend to be located too far from residential areas to appeal to any one community. They also tend to be huge. They also tend to be EMPTY because MILLENNIALS went and KILLED THEM! Because of this, you are unlikely to recognize someone from a mall, much less befriend them. Third places should possess the characteristic of conversation with others being the main appeal, and in most possible American parallels, purchasing is always at the forefront. The most honest American third space (that doesn’t involve alcohol) I can conjure comes from programs and clubs at local libraries and churches meant to benefit the community. However, these programs have been shirked by the youth and adults alike, and without participants, they are dead on arrival. Herein lies one

of the largest challenges for a successful third place: we are entering a culture where people hate socializing and despise those who attempt to socialize with them.

Wow, that was a bold claim. What did she mean by this? Well, in my experience, trying to socialize with people you’ve never met before is getting increasingly more challenging. Most people’s best bet for friendship is being in some confined space with another person, aka SMALL classrooms, workplaces, and school clubs, and getting to know them little by little until you’re BFFLs. (This example is where I would include a prominent third place, IF I HAD ONE.) Aside from that, you can just hold out hoping that you make at least one friend, and that friend introduces you to a group of several, like-minded friends that you’re destined to like. However, what happens when you try to approach a true stranger? To quote every “best movie of the summer” commercial starring beloved animated characters: “awwwwwwkwardddd!” The conversation tends to be a little forced, a little strange, and the dame, bloke, or critter on the receiving end of the interaction has to wonder: “Is this person trying to flirt with me right now? What is happening?! Will I make it out of this alive???” It’s my experience that these interactions never lead to much of anything, and it’s rare to get a friendship out of it, much less a romance. Therefore, I’d argue we NEED real-life interaction in small settings where you’re apt to recognize the same people, and things like online classes, large class sizes of over 20 people, remote work, and not touching grass are all contributing to our current dead-serious epidemic of loneliness and virginity. Now, there’s something I forgot to mention that I’m sure you’ve been screaming at this article for the last five minutes about: Strangers aren’t awkward to talk to when you’re both drunk! Clubs! Parties! Frats and Sororities! Oh my! I will concede, you have a fair point. However, I think we need to reassess why people feel uncomfortable talking to strangers while sober. I think drinking is used too often as a social crutch, rather than a fun activity, and people have become way too dependent on this ‘social lubricant.’ This is a band-aid to the problem, and to truly solve it, we’re going to have to get down to the roots. So ask yourself—when’s the last time you tried befriending a stranger? When’s the last time someone talked to you out of the blue, and you didn’t write them off as strange? Socializing is a skill, one that many people didn’t exercise during the pandemic and, snapping back to reality, they found it much harder to relearn. But it requires practice; the more you keep at it, the more natural it becomes. People need to stop looking at awkward interactions, or ones that go nowhere, as “failures,” and realize that it all comes with improving their ability to socialize with others. While I don’t think it’s possible to go back and rebuild communities to include fun little places to make friends and fall in love, I think it’s important to look around your community and join in-person meet-ups so you can practice your ability to socialize. You’d be surprised at how many networking opportunities, jobs, and friendships open up to you. Maybe, if you’re lucky, you could’ve even met someone like me, if I hadn’t burned up in the sun all those years ago. Did I mention I’m a ghost?

Alcohol Crossword

By Our Staff

The Asian-American Schooling Experience

WhenI was growing up, my parents decided that it would be in their best interest to speak Cantonese the whole time to their kid, that being me, his entire childhood. Luckily, it would not have any long-lasting effects. But, in the short term, the kid was socially inept and unable to communicate nor speak outside of short phrases. Being different from everyone else was not really an issue: I always managed to get the teachers and other staff’s attention around the school because I was either dumb as fuck in class or because I would wander around the school until I was caught.

I made friends with many of the school staff. There was one specifically that treated me so well that she bought me an inflatable ball that you could hop on. Now that I think about it, she might have thought I was a little special. It could also have been because one of my elementary school teachers was caught with illicit pictures of children. I also think he got caught with two boys in his apartment when he was arrested for private lessons.

He seemed to be normal. He had a habit of having everything sanitary. He would make every child who entered his classroom clean their hands with hand sanitizer. He was extremely friendly with me since I was dumb as a rock. I had something called the “morning” or “early class,” where I

would come into school an hour early to do extra learning—but all I would do was browse the internet in the computer lab. Anyway, when I would come in I would always be hugged by him and that’s all he did to me. (At least I hope that was all he did. As far as I’m aware I don’t have any repressed memories.)

After that whole situation ended he got like 5 years probation. Yeah, he is probably out right now, assuming he’s doing the sex offender shuffle at someone’s doorstep. Sad thing was that was not even his first offense since he was caught doing the same thing to kids in Brooklyn where they even had everything on tape. Let’s just say a lot of parents were pissed that he was allowed to come to my neighborhood’s school after that.

I don’t know how I managed to get to middle school, but I did. The first thing I did was get placed with the kids from newly immigrated families since my English skills were still on par with that of a third grader. They were nice kids. I think at least what they were trying to say to me sounded nice. But the teachers saw that I could talk properly but barely read or write. As a result they just sent me to the borderline dumb class where I saw all of my friends.

In middle school, the wildest shit happens. An example would be the

By Midas Leung

time I was suspended because I participated in a pantsing war and then some dumbfuck decided to pants a girl. Then there was the time when I was home a little early and a buddy I thought I knew was arrested for sexual harassment at the school gym. There was a clown threat, bomb threat, some kids threw some milk at a raccoon and it went apeshit in the schoolyard, and kids bullied the teachers (kids stood up in the middle of the class and started singing the pledge of allegiance). Ah, the best things about childhood. Did I learn anything? No. Was it fun? Hell yeah!

Somehow I managed to get to high school with a 77 average. Once I got to high school it felt a little different. I don’t know why, but I actually understood the material; it made sense to me, whereas in middle school everything was just a dull memory, all I would remember would be the times after school fucking around. My Asian gene must have laid dormant until I grew to a certain age, because once I

“Yeah, he is probably out right now, assuming he’s doing the sex offender shuffle at someone’s doorstep.”

was in high school I was an academic weapon. I still fucked around, but the classes just felt so much easier. Well, except for chemistry. God, how I hate it.

Moving onto college, I was told that I could explore and all I can say is that those fuckers lied to me. Can’t explore shit here with these shitty little programs and the pain-in-the-ass-Inter-University-Transfers between any of the departments besides Harpur. Meh, if I fail to get my degree, I know the military will take me.

I’m Running for S.A. President to Abolish Parking Services

Binghamton University Parking Services sits somewhere at the intersection of greed and incompetence. Besides Sodexo, there is no presence on campus that is more universally reviled than Parking Services, and for good reason. Its policies have become more draconian over time and are deliberately designed to extract as much money from students as possible. I decided that enough was enough after hearing several dozen stories about unfair ticketing or the absurd inconsistencies that B.U. parking has compared to other SUNY schools. Something has to be done to protect members of this community from constant patrolling and price-gouging.

As the title of this article suggests, I made the decision to run for Student Association President because I am tired of paying more every semester for worse services. Nearly everyone I have spoken with on the campaign trail is tired of this experience as well. For the premier Public Ivy, one would expect students to be treated like human beings instead of wallets with legs, but here we are. To some, it may seem strange that I would want to take charge of yet another widely disliked organization that, historically, does not serve students very well. However, it is in the Student Association that I see untapped potential for activism in the coming academic year.

I should begin with an admission that the upcoming S.A. election

on March 12 is, for me, a deeply personal endeavor. Those who have been around long enough may remember that I previously ran for president during the 2021-2022 election. The victor of that heated race, David Hatami, genuinely believed that the S.A. had a positive relationship with the university administration. That kind of idealism was far removed from the realities of daily life for thousands of students, on and off campus, and it translated into complacent policy. There was no resistance to increased parking fines or the $10 Appeals Fee from the S.A. E-Board during that time—no real representation for our basic needs. I felt obligated to run once again to show how dissatisfied people truly are with the way B.U. is managed.

I am running for president because I have no other choice.

The issues affecting Binghamton University are numerous, but over the course of this academic year, I was able to learn about real remedies that can make our lives just a little bit easier. The proposal for a “meal swipes” system in our dining halls struck me as a simple but ingenious fix to the unaffordable, non-nutritional mess that current meal plans are. I myself know what it is like to go without eating for long periods of time due to high costs, and it is severely damaging to academic performance and general health. I would gladly support alternatives that prevent me and others from eating just one or two small meals a day. It certainly works at other colleges, like Cornell, Stony Brook, or Cobleskill.

On the subject of campus dining options, I intend on addressing the highly problematic discovery of pork and ham in foods that were labeled halal, kosher, or vegan/vegetarian in multiple dining halls (particularly in C.I.W., Hinman, and Appalachian). Several students reported to me that

By Logan Blakeslee

cooking instruments were reused between preparing halal and kosher meals and foods that violated these cultural dietary restrictions, all without being washed. This can ultimately lead to cross-contamination, and that is unacceptable. To effectively combat Sodexo’s negligence towards hundreds of daily customers, I call upon the Student Congress to create a permanent S.A. Dining Committee, which will report on harmful Sodexo practices, instances of food poisoning, and violations of dietary restrictions. As president, I will build it up from the ground myself because we are seeing the awful effects of a monopoly firsthand.

While I served in S.A. Congress on behalf of OC3, I became aware that the S.A. had the power to set mandatory Student Activity Fees for all undergraduates. The funds raised by this fee are what keeps the Student Association running, and serves as the primary method for allocating club budgets

“This is done biennially with near-unanimous support from Student Congress. I alone opposed it.”

every year. However, it also serves the purpose of funding tuition reimbursement for the S.A. E-Board. According to nonprofitlight.com, former S.A. Executive Vice President Erin Bishop made $6,250 from her position of power. Similarly, former S.A. President Emma Ross made $5,250. Upon learning this fact, it became much clearer as to why the E-Board heavily pressures Student Congress to not only keep the fee mandatory, but to increase it. This is done biennially with near-unanimous support from Student Congress. I alone opposed it.

At a time when inflation impacts

“That kind of idealism was far removed from the realities of daily life for thousands of students, on and off campus, and it translated into complacent policy.”

the cost of living for all students, I find it unconscionable to raise the Student Activity Fee higher than it already is. If elected as S.A. President, I would veto any increases to the fee, and I would gladly fight to lower it if possible. This could be achieved by balancing the budget, and thereby preventing hundreds of thousands of dollars from going unspent every year. Eliminating waste is crucial to serving the needs of students, as well as lessening the financial burden of the incoming 3% SUNY tuition hike. For Binghamton, that burden will likely be a nasty 5-6% for all undergraduate students, given our status as a research school.

My agenda is a realistic one, but it is also proactive and rooted in my long history of activism. For example, I raised hundreds of dollars in supplies for homeless college students during my tenure as Vice President of Student Affairs at SUNY Broome. Very few people know that roughly 14% of American college students are homeless, and I want to make that common knowledge once elected. Students who struggle to get by every day for their essential needs must be assured that someone has their back, that someone is willing to listen and fight for them. Likewise, I served in the New

York Department of Education’s Youth Advocacy Panel to speak on behalf of students with disabilities, and as a person born with autism, it is a topic that I care deeply about. These struggles have raged on silently for too long.

You may be wondering why my stated intent is to abolish Parking Services, an ambitious goal by any standards. My core belief is that institutions on this campus which do not faithfully serve the student body should not exist. My preference is for reform, but the opportunity for reform is fading fast. Parking Services themselves put a boot on the wheels of progress, and I say it’s time we break them off (metaphorically) with radical messaging. My campaign slogan is fashioned very deliberately to express the view that Binghamton University’s policies should resemble those of other colleges. SUNY Albany manages to have free visitor parking on weekends and expansive visitor lots, not to mention bus stop heaters. SUNY Farmingdale has accessible electric vehicle charging stations. SUNY Buffalo is far less aggressive in patrolling parking lots. What SUNY Binghamton does isn’t the norm, it’s the exception. Branching off into secondary goals that I had when I previously ran

for S.A. President, I would like to host a university-wide yard sale at the end of the Spring semester. Basically, it would involve allowing any interested student to reserve a table somewhere on campus to sell off unused items, like notebooks, trading cards, art posters, or similar things. They would be permitted to keep any profits they make, or to engage in bartering as they see fit. I think it would be a neat way to bring people together while ensuring items aren’t wasted.

I am also proud to say that I have a great working relationship with various Broome County elected officials, such as Binghamton Mayor Jared Kraham, Broome County Sheriff Fred Akshar, and U.S. Congressman Marc Molinaro. These connections are important to me because they offer an opportunity to bring student issues to the local and federal level. With Kraham and Akshar, I will insist on providing greater protections for students from interpersonal violence. It will also be important to adjust to the increasing availability of marijuana in Broome County. With Rep. Molinaro, I want to advocate for policies that promote college affordability first and foremost. The impact of a Blakeslee presidency will reach far beyond this campus. Real change is coming soon. The Student Association election will be on March 12, so be sure to check B-Engaged on that date. If you want to see the university administration held accountable for its actions, I urge you to vote for Logan Blakeslee as your next S.A. President.

“Parking Services themselves put a boot on the wheels of progress, and I say it’s time we break them off (metaphorically) with radical messaging.”

“The impact of a Blakeslee presidency will reach far beyond this campus.”

An Interview with Logan Blakeslee, SA Presidential Hopeful

By Arthur O’Sullivan

Ifyou thought election season was over, think again! In November, we voted for a bunch of politicians in far away places. This coming Sunday, we’ll be voting for our Student Association members. Unlike high school, this student government has the opportunity to influence campus life for everyone: cutting or increasing student costs, aiding or protesting administrative abuses, fighting for or against student interests. It all depends on who gets elected. To that end, it’s my pleasure to interview my friend and colleague, Logan Blakeslee, prospective candidate for SA President. In the months I have worked with him, he has been one of the most hardworking, humble, and cooperative people I know. In this interview, we discussed his life, platform, and lessons learned from his previous campaign in 2021. It is my hope that this interview convinces you to vote for Blakeslee this Sunday, and support his comprehensive plan to repair this university.

1. So why don’t you introduce yourself and explain why you should be SA President, briefly?

Gladly. Born and raised here in Broome County, I have worked hard my whole life to improve my community as much as possible. I was the president of the Oak Tree Leadership Club in high school, which brought children with autism together to raise donations for the homeless. In my freshman year at SUNY Broome, I was elected Vice President of Student Affairs, where I similarly raised donations for homeless college students. At Binghamton I served in Student Congress and currently I hold the position of OC3 Vice President of Programming. I want to be S.A. President because I am tired of complacency within student government and outright malice from the university administration. I am the

only candidate who is focused on living expenses and the quality of amenities that we depend on. People who vote for me are voting to upend the status quo and take a more radical approach in fighting for our basic needs.

2. Why are you running for this position?

The S.A. President is one of the very few positions on campus that frequently meets with Harvey Stenger, Brian Rose, and other university administrators. If elected, I would be able to directly tell them about the issues that affect this campus and demand that they address them. While they can try to ignore most students individually, they cannot ignore the S.A. President. The office comes with the responsibility of sitting in boardroom meetings with the college higher-ups. Being elected also implies that there is a consensus around my agenda from students, which puts even more pressure on the administration to make changes that are actually helpful.

3. What sets you apart from other candidates?

The other candidates are making the same exact promises that the incumbents before them made. The E-Board that now runs the S.A. generally did not deliver on their campaign promises because they were too vague, too abstract, and now those promises are being recycled. They mentioned how dedicated they are to equity without defining it, and they seem to have no strong stances on major campus issues, like dining or building renovations or the SUNY tuition increase. I have nothing against the other candidates personally, but I don’t think there’s anything in their platforms that critically evaluates the relationship between S.A. and the administration. Rest assured, if one of the other candi-

dates wins, the S.A. will look exactly the same as it does now: reclusive and unresponsive.

“If elected, I would be able to directly tell them about the issues that affect this campus and demand that they address them. While they can try to ignore most students individually, they cannot ignore the S.A. President.”

4. What does “Abolish Parking Services” mean? Are you serious? Is it a metaphor? Will you actually do it?

“Abolish Parking Services” describes a movement, not a policy position. It encapsulates the frustration that hundreds of commuting students feel every day when they are wrongly ticketed, run over a pothole that’s been ignored for months, or just can’t find a space in any of the parking lots. Binghamton loves new construction projects but refuses to adequately expand parking access and the introduction of the Appeals Fee, in my opinion, is one of the most immoral things this college has ever done. The fee blames students for a crisis that the university created. The slogan is therefore hyperbole, but the intent behind it is very real. I will use my presidential authority to advocate for new parking spaces, lower ticket costs, and the removal of the Appeals Fee. If possible, I would also state that I am in favor of installing electric vehicle chargers in commuter lots. Reform is sorely needed, and that is ultimately what I am promising.

5. Aside from this main platform, what issues would you prioritize once in office? In other words, what are the first things you would do?

On day one of a Blakeslee presidency, I would call out Harvey Stenger and Brian Rose for putting profits over the wellbeing of the student body in my inauguration speech. Besides that, I want to force the S.A. to create a permanent Dining Committee to report on Sodexo’s abusive practices, whether they be mistreatment of employees, food poisoning of customers, or violating cultural dietary restrictions. Unfortunately S.A. Congress rejected a proposal to create such a committee and they never revisited the issue. My other major goal is to cap the Student Activity Fee, because S.A. Congress constantly votes to increase it every two years. By successfully balancing the S.A.’s budget, I can likely cut the Student Activity Fee and prevent hundreds of thousands of dollars from going to waste every year. Putting pressure on Congress to approve more budget requests is yet another major goal of mine.

6. How do you intend to implement these reforms, legally and practically?

A platform is only as good as the people who work to implement it. Negotiations and compromise are always part of the process, but I will never settle for lower quality services at a higher cost. All of my planned reforms for the S.A. itself would be within my constitutional authority as president to enforce. I see no significant challenges there. However, bringing reforms to the university administration will be very difficult. It will require nonstop dedication and perseverance. I will be the first S.A. President to stand up to Sodexo and Parking Services, and that means that I will be confronting hostile monopolists on day one. With that being said, I do think that I can rally the student body to protest the worst abuses we suffer on campus. We must show unity.

7. One of the biggest complaints with the administration has been their lack of communication with the student body, especially about inclement weather and food/tuition price hikes. How might you address these

concerns?

If the administration refuses to communicate with students about important topics, the S.A. must take up that responsibility without hesitation. Not only will I talk about the impact of price hikes with the administrators, I will publicly address them as president and make sure that students aren’t left in the dark. The S.A. President can send mass-messages to the student body, and I intend on using that power frequently to spread awareness. Inclement weather, meanwhile, is an active danger to commuters like myself. I believe that the university should authorize a snow day when nearby schools, particularly Vestal, are dismissed because of the weather. I drive about 30 minutes each day to get to campus, and in my rural corner of Broome, the roads can become extremely icy or impossible to traverse. Commuters deserve to know when driving may be too big of a risk.

8. If elected, how would you interact with other SA officials, especially those who might oppose your platform?

I think synergy is important when building a coalition. My platform will not be accepted by everyone, but while campaigning I learned that the issues I am talking about matter deeply to most students. For S.A. Congress, I would try to encourage students who dislike Sodexo or Parking Services to run for office in the Fall semester. For the S.A. E-Board, I am pleasantly surprised that many of the vice presidential candidates are open to my platform. My agenda can only succeed if they have an equal chance to fulfill

“I had wanted to demilitarize the campus police and hire more mental health counselors (and still do) but lacked a cohesive plan to accomplish that.”

their own campaign promises, and I would be glad to assist them. Essentially, my cabinet members will build each other up for success.

9. What have you learned from your previous presidential run, and what will you do this time to win?

Two factors played a major role in the outcome of my previous presidential run: ambition and apathy. Ambition, because my platform at the time went far beyond the scope of the S.A. President. I had wanted to demilitarize the campus police and hire more mental health counselors (and still do) but lacked a cohesive plan to accomplish that. Apathy, because I had discovered concerning elements in the way the election was conducted and discreetly reported on it for the Binghamton Review. As this was during the Covid-19 pandemic, hardly anyone paid attention, and the S.A. J-Board (with new justices appointed by the winner of that election) dismissed my complaints. This time, I am running an active ground campaign and going from club to club to share my message. I am actively listening to students talk about their issues with this university, and I feel like that is making a huge difference this time around.

10.What makes this time different?

My new platform is a realistic one, but still tackles the problems that students face on a daily basis. Having acquired more executive experience from my time as VPP of OC3, I can say that I have overcome the résumé gap that I faced the last time I ran for president. The other candidates in 2021 were previous S.A. E-Board members or other higher-ups, and compared to them, a mere congress representative wasn’t very impressive. My drive to hold the administration accountable is greater than it has ever been before. I learned from my last campaign, and this time I will not slow down in my quest for fair treatment. If you want to see real change at Binghamton University, I urge you to vote for Logan Blakeslee as your next S.A. President.

The Case For Linguistic Universalism

Withintranslation theory there exists sources of constant debate among scholars in just how we ought to translate works between languages. Among these debates are those between “linguistic universalism” and “linguistic relativism,” and their respective 20th century proponents Noam Chomsky and the dynamic duo of Edward Sapir and Benjamin Whorf. To summarize into horribly dubious simplicity, linguistic universalism posits that all concepts are translatable, whereas linguistic relativism posits that language impacts the native speaker’s perception of the world. Relativist translation theorists consequently conclude that truly accurate translation is impossible. One could call these two views the optimistic and the pessimistic, respectively.

To Sapir and Whorf’s credit, the empirical evidence suggests that there may be truth to their initial hypothesis. A classic-yet-fascinating example is the Mayan language’s lack of relative direction, meaning concepts like left and right don’t exist in their language. Instead, Mayan strictly uses cardinal direction (i.e. north, south, east, and west), resulting in what some scientists consider a brain more “tuned-in” to cardinality than most. Another example which has since been debunked (but was still supported by Whorf during his life) is the vast number of Inuit words for snow in all its various forms. The truth is less glamorous in this case, however, when it was later clarified that these forms used the same root to create compound words, which itself is not very unique. Say we want to make a word for wet snow; we can just mash the two words together into “wetsnow” and if enough English speakers use it, that can be a whole new word. Hardly damning evidence.

Then there’s the case in Japanese, where the word “aoi” originally meant

both blue and green because of the two colors’ association with nature. Despite the fact that Japanese now has the word “midori” to represent green, “aoi” is still used for more archaic uses of green, such as in vegetables, forests, and, interestingly enough, traffic lights. The conclusion we can make from this evidence is that, at most, the relativists were correct in their hypothesis that language can make an impact on perception, but that those impacts hardly result in radically different perceptions of the world to the point where foreign concepts couldn’t be understood. None of the evidence listed above is conclusive to that point. In the case of the Mayan language, it was studied that when tested doing mazes, any human could be trained to keep a “true north,” so to speak; and the Japanese people can differentiate between blue and green just fine. The source of these nuances in perception are more likely socio-cultural. Pulling from Japanese yet again, the use of first-person pronouns and other speaking patterns indicate a higher complexity in identity than the plain “I, me, myself” in English. Among Japanese’s lexicon of first-person pronouns, none have explicit rules

By Shayne O’Loughlin

for their use. “watashi” is considered neutral and somewhat formal; “boku” and “ore” are masculine, with the former denoting a more boyish disposition and the latter a more mature one; “atashi” is considered softer and more feminine; “jibun”, literally meaning “one’s self,” is rarely used today as a personal pronoun in most dialects, but reflects polite samurai culture from previous centuries; “washi” is an elderly pronoun. What’s important to note about these first-person pronouns is that they are not rigid in any regard: Plenty of women use the masculine pronouns to appear more masculine, and vice versa. It has actually become an element of identity among Japan’s gay subculture to use “atashi” and other softer language to sound more feminine.

The important takeaway, beyond cultural trivia, is that while these eccentricities cannot be completely replicated in English, their implications can be. A relativist translation theorist would argue that the feat of translation would be less valuable or even appropriative because the translated text would be missing valuable context that comes from the language and its idiosyncrasies. In the case of translating a

Japanese dialogue of a gay man into English, there are equivalent expressions that could connote homosexuality. While considered “bad form,” the use of footnotes or endnotes can also provide additional context that many relativist translation theorists would dismiss out-of-hand from an aesthetic or experiential point of view. That these concepts can be explained means that at best, our own “functional” intuition can make near-exact semantic replicas of original texts and, at worst, annotation can suffice.

We have established that the relativist position holds that certain concepts are harder to understand in certain languages because of differences out of the control of the people who speak those languages, and that this is because of language’s tight ties with society and culture. Historically, some proponents of linguistic relativism have championed the superiority of certain perceptions (and the backwardness of others). This extreme form of linguistic relativity is called linguistic determinism, and comes as a chauvinistic conclusion from analyzing the difference in perception between different languages. When applied to translation theory, they are forced to conclude that—in these instances—translation is impossible, due to a sheer imbalance of perception.

Outside of linguistic determinism, the realm of relativist translation theory strikes an unstable oxymoronic relationship between aspects of “foreignizing” and “domesticating” translated texts in an attempt to best preserve semantic information. After all, the main draw of translation studies as a field is to provide techniques and commentary that might provide a greater common understanding of translation ethics. The socio-linguistic aspect of translation ethics has taken the approach of “intersectionality” in applying the precepts of racial studies, gender studies, and colonial studies. The result is a greater level of scrutiny towards the context of the original text, its source language, and the target language, which has supplanted classical translation theory as a concern in the past half-century of post-struc-

turalist thought in linguistics. It can largely be said that the influence of linguistic relativity has encouraged these efforts with the claim being made that it is the responsibility of a translator to treat these “intersectional identities” (i.e. race, gender, sexuality etc.) with greater care as a result of an increasing atomization of subcultures and their respective colloquialisms.

Take an example like the one used above:The gay Japanese man. It falls on the translator to appropriately interpret his colloquialisms and expressions with respect to the broader experience of gay men in Japan. Examples such as this have had real-world ramifications of the jobs of translators, as their respective literary translation groups have a real say over the requirements of translation (in something of an incestuous cycle). In order to advocate for “unheard voices,” there has been discussion as to whether a transgender author can be translated by a non-transgender translator, or a black author by a non-black translator, with the rationale being that a non-transgender or non-black translator would not be able to understand fully the experience of the authors they translate. This raises the question: Should shared identity really supersede qualifications when deciding on a translator?

Relativist translation theory can be brought down through a simple thought-experiment: For the sake of argument, let us grant that each discrete language that exists today creates a sort of “exclusionary” pair of sunglasses which tints the native speakers’ perception of the world around them,

blinding them to the worldviews of speakers of other languages. Where would we even go about drafting up the borders of our languages? How distant does a dialect have to be before it is no longer the language that it descended it from? Are pidgins and creoles separate too? All of these questions have arbitrary answers which a relativist could give you, but for the sake of consistency, we have to start filtering down and atomizing to a point which we collectively deem fit, where one group of people speaks with the “similar enough” language, idioms, and other idiosyncrasies that we no longer risk something “getting lost in translation”. To be more direct, we fall down into a sort of “phenomenological solipsism,” that is, a belief that your own perception is the only one that can be certain. The issue with this solipsism is that it is antithetical to the very focus of translation theory, as well as to any form of discussion whatsoever. If we communicate, we engage in the act of attempting to translate our thoughts into a form that others can interpret. To be a consistent relativist-translation-theorist, you would have to believe that it’d be best for you to shut up and never attempt to share your thoughts in the first place, or else you would be making a performative contradiction.

Because we as humans translate the thoughts of our “metalanguage” (i.e. our experiences and memories unfiltered by words) into functional human language, we must believe that, even against the odds of being misunderstood, we endeavor to be understood. If we as individuals have such radically different perceptions, then we have proven that linguistic universalism is the only prescription for our continued communications. If we do not, then linguistic universalism is a given. Through this dilemma we can determine that linguistic relativity is not a functional roadblock in translation theory. While linguistic relativity may very well exist, it says nothing to the nature of understanding, and its notes on perception are not so great that cross-language communication is an impossible undertaking.

“To be a consistent relativist-translation-theorist, you would have to believe that it’d be best for you to shut up and never attempt to share your thoughts in the first place, or else you would be making a performative contradiction.”