Black Hills I Do by Black Hills Pioneer

Your local guide to all things wedding

I DO BLACK HILLS

100 TIPS to plan your

perfect day

THINK LOCAL Look inside for the best of Black Hills

wedding professionals 2015-2016 2015 - 2016 â&#x20AC;˘ Black Hills I DO

premier Black Hills The

Destination

Historic

Resort

Beautiful

•

Golf

•

Unique

Development

Planning a destination wedding? Consider Elkhorn Ridge Event Center, the Courtyard Barns, or the Anderson Ranch.

Our Resort is packed with ammenities to make your special day memorable: RV Sites, Fully Furnished Cabins, Tent Sites, Heated Pools and Hot Tubs. Horseshoes, Basketball, Tennis, and Volleyball Courts. Located across from the Resort is Elkhorn Ridge Golf Course - so bring your clubs for a day of R&R.

www.elkhornridgervresort.com 877-722-1800 | 20189 US Hwy 85 | Spearfish, SD 2015 57783 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

Secrets

to a long & happy marriage

ome might say a long celebrity marriage is one that endures the duration of the newly betrothed’s trip down the aisle. We’ve seen Britney Spears dissolve a marriage after 55 hours and Kim Kardashian call it quits after 72 days. It seems even money can’t buy matrimonial happiness. But some couples have been together for 50, 60 years and say they’re still as much in love as they were the day they spoke their “I dos.” What do they know that others do not? According to clinical psychologist and relationship guru Dr. Phil McGraw, “We all need to be flexible and to compromise in marriage, but you’ve got to be true to your core traits and characteristics, what I call your authentic self.” Some couples enter a relationship projecting a persona they believe the other person wants -- one that really isn’t what they’re all about. This could be a woman trying to fill the role of her husband’s nurturing mom or a guy playing the protector to his wife. In reality, marriage is more of a partnership, and truth and trust are often at the basis of good marriages. There are many other “secrets” that marriage experts will offer to couples

seeking the magic formula. Whether you’re pondering marriage or have already tied the knot, consider the following advice to make a marriage endure for the long haul. • There’s no such thing as the perfect marriage. Some couples create an image of what they think marriage is supposed to be, and that image often goes “poof” once reality sets in. Even soulmates are bound to frustrate or irritate one another from time to time. • Couples should express their frustrations. Bottling up frustrations can eat at a person and eventually destroy a marriage. Talking about the things that are bothering you with your partner opens up a discussion and can help you work through things. • Divorce should not be seen as a viable option. Couples who want to bail on the marriage at every turn could be directing their energy toward divorce as the only solution instead of discovering ways to remove the cause of strife. Divorce can sometimes be the easy way out when you think about the work that goes into keeping a marriage working. Experts say that there are a few issues, like adultery, abuse and drug/alcohol addiction, that may be reasonable CONTINUED ON PAGE 4

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

catalysts for divorce if personal safety and sanity is being compromised. • Make time for romance. It’s easily said but not so easily done. Too often married couples forget what it was like to date when all of their attention was spent on each other instead of the house, kids, work, etc. Today there seems to be even more distractions, from e-mails to texts to pressure and obligations at the office. Happy couples find the time to spend quality time with their spouses -- even if that’s only 10 minutes of alone time a day. • Put “we” first. Many people operate on a “me” mentality. When you’re part of a couple, give more to your spouse than you take. If he or

she is doing the same, you’re working collectively for the benefit of the marriage instead of yourselves. • Respect each other. Often couples having troubles realize they treat strangers better than they treat each other. Would you use the insults or unflattering terms that you sometimes throw at your spouse with a complete stranger? Probably not. Good marriages are based on a foundation of respect and love. It’s easy to lose feelings of love if the respect is gone. Couples can realize that there are some thorns that come with the roses of marriage, and staying happy together does take work for it to all be worth it.

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

The basics of shopping for wedding

Rings

ngagement ring purchases are usually a solo endeavor, with the groom having an idea of the ring style and color his bride-to-be prefers. But couples usually shop for their wedding ring sets together, and such excursions can be special and meaningful. Like many decisions couples make when planning their weddings, choosing rings comes down to personal preference. There are no steadfast rules when it comes to purchasing wedding rings, but some guidelines can make shopping far easier. As couples prepare to shop for rings, it can help for each person to list the attributes he or she would like in a ring. This should include the type of metal, color, width, and even cost. Couples may find they have different preferences, and this is perfectly fine, as wedding rings do not have to match. A wedding band should complement the engagement ring but not be a perfect match. An ornate engagement ring might look better with a simple band, and vice-versa. Similarly cut gemstones also can complement an engagement ring. If the bride chooses to wear both

2015 - 2016 â&#x20AC;˘ Black Hills I DO

her engagement ring and wedding band together on the same finger, she should choose a band that will accommodate the curves of uniquely shaped engagement rings. Couples can make some early choices even before they visit jewelry stores. Narrow down your options so the experience will not be overwhelming. When the time comes to shop, give yourselves at least two months to browse and then choose the rings you like best. Lifestyle and daily routine should be considered at all times. These rings will be worn daily, and no one wants to fret about a ring being too delicate to stand up to everyday wear and tear. Also, think long-term. Trendy rings can be fun, but will they still seem like such a good idea when you are celebrating your twentieth wedding anniversary? When getting rings sized, both the bride and groom should go when their fingers arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t swollen from exercise or early in the morning after they may have retained fluid. Shopping should take place when hands arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t too hot or cold. This will allow the best size so the bands fit comfortably and will have enough wiggle room should fingers swell or shrink a little bit. People can protect their investments by keeping the ring on as much as possible and only removing it when engaging in demanding physical activity or when working with chemicals. Store the ring in a safe spot when you are not wearing it so you are less likely to lose it. Wedding rings can be purchased from any number of retailers. Just be sure the rings are of good quality and sellers stands by the craftsmanship.

Engagement Announcements run free of charge in our Black Hills Pioneer Saturday edition or as space allows. NOTE: Submissions may be edited according to available space.

Engagement Information Bride’s Name and Hometown: ____________________________________________ Bride’s Parents’ Names and Residence(s): ___________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ Groom’s Name and Hometown: __________________________________________ Groom’s Parents’ Names and Residence(s): _________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ Date and Place of Wedding: ______________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ Bride’s Education: ______________________________________________________ Employment: __________________________________________________________ Groom’s Education: _____________________________________________________ Employment: __________________________________________________________ PHOTO ENCLOSED:

YES

NO q

If photo needs to be returned, please enclose self-addressed, stamped envelope. We strongly urge you to type this form or print neatly. Handwriting can be misinterpreted and if we can’t read your handwriting, mistakes can happen. We cannot re-run engagement news printed incorrectly if the mistake is caused by misinterpreted handwriting.

Phone number and contact person if there are futher questions:______________________________________________ Please Return Completed Form To: Black Hills Pioneer, 315 Seaton Circle, Spearfish, SD 57783 • (605) 642-2761 – OR –

Black Hills Pioneer, 7 S. Main, Lead, SD 57754 • (605) 584-2303

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

The Four C’s Carat, Color, Clarity & Cut Buying a diamond ring can be intimidating. Demystify the process by learning about the four C’s. This system of grading diamonds was developed 60 years ago by the Gemological Institute of America. • Carat is a weight measurement. A 1-carat diamond weighs 200 milligrams. But there’s no ideal size for a diamond. It depends on your budget and taste. • Color is graded by letter, starting with D for rare, colorless diamonds. E and F are considered excellent, but G or H diamonds will look just as good to the naked eye.

Your

Reception and Our Lodge

It’s A Perfect Match!

If you’re looking to hold your Wedding Reception or Rehearsal Dinner on Historic Deadwood’s Main Street, Please call

605-578-1333

Deadwood Elks Lodge #508 696 Main St., Deadwood 2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

Farther down the scale, you’ll notice differences. “If you put a K color beside a G color, you’ll notice more yellow in the K,” said Russell Shor, senior industry analyst for the Gemological Institute. • Clarity measures diamond flaws, called inclusions, which might appear as tiny spots, clouds or cavities in the stone. The clarity grade SI stands for “slightly included.” VS is a better grade, “very slightly included.” VVS is even higher, “very, very slightly included.” Most inclusions in the VVS-SI range cannot be seen by the untrained eye “unless someone tells you where it is,” Shor said. • Cut measures workmanship, rather than a diamond’s inherent qualities. The way a stone is cut enhances sparkle and luminosity and can hide flaws.

I’m getting married!

Floral Designs for your Unique Style! 631 Main Street • Spearfish 605.717.0927

Cynthia Massine Floral Designer bentwillowdesigns.com

What documents are required? Marriage licenses may be obtained at your county’s Register of Deeds office. To receive the license: • Both parties must be present. • A valid photo ID, such as a driver’s license, state ID or passport is required. • The fee is $40, and can be paid by cash and usually credit cards. Checks are not accepted. • There is no blood test or waiting period required. • The license may be used the same day, and it must be used within 20 days from issue. • The license may be used anywhere within the State of South Dakota.

2015 BLACK HILLS I DO STAFF:

Letti Lister - Publisher Dru Thomas - Ad Director Chrissy Blair - Project Manager Mark Watson - Editor

ADVERTISING SALES: Jami Albrecht Chrissy Blair Dawn Hatch Sharon Mason Sona O’Connell

GRAPHIC DESIGN:

Melissa Barnett Colin Key Amanda Knapp Vicki Strickland

Black Hills I DO is published by Seaton Publishing, Inc. 315 Seaton Circle Spearfish, SD 57783 (605) 642-2761 8

~ Since 1876 ~

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

Helpful hints when choosing

Floral Arrangements • Go with your own style. Choose a style that most appeals to you, be it neutral or bold colors, formal or more casual arrangements, and so on. Your style might reveal a preference for something other than roses, which is perfectly alright. It’s your wedding. • Stay in-season when possible. When choosing a floral arrangement, it’s important to consider when you’ll be getting married and which flowers will be in-season. It’s possible to find most floral varieties all year, but if you choose seasonal flowers, you’ll likely

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

pay less and such flowers will be more readily available and durable. • Don’t go it alone. A professional florist, ideally one who has come highly recommended, should be able to work within your budget and produce a visually stunning end product. • Stick to the budget. Couples will find it’s very easy to go over budget quickly with regard to floral arrangements. But a good florist should be able to work within your budget and produce an arrangement that’s visually impressive without costing a fortune.

Give your wedding MUSIC

Personality

The soundtrack of your wedding ought to reflect your unique personality. If you want your ceremony to have a non-traditional twist, there’s no reason you can’t walk down the aisle to Rhianna or Coldplay.

ENTRANCE

To make a real splash, come up with a creative way to make your entrance at the wedding. Whether you arrive on a white horse, or show up in a stretched Hummer, your first impression can be one guests never forget.

••••••

STATIONERY

Bland-looking wedding invitations are out, and personalized invites are in. Use the invitations you send as a chance to set the tone for what guests can expect at your wedding.

CAKE

Your wedding cake doesn’t have to be frilly and tiered. Watch “Cake Boss” or “Ace of Cakes” to get inspiration for just how creative your cake can be. You can forego the wedding cake in favor of wedding donuts — or whatever dessert you want.

Picture Perfect

••••••••••••••••

WEDDING CAKES

by Carol Bach

Custom-made wedding and specialty cakes. Limited catering available.

Mason’s 5th Avenue Deli 510 5th Ave • Belle Fourche, SD 57717

Instant Event Pictures for a fun addition to your

(605) 892-4564

Wedding

Kodi Dodds | 605.641.3667 | Spearfish, SD kfdodds@live.com 10

•

northernhillsphotobooth.com 2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

Black Hills

Bridal Fair & Showcase Saturday, November 7, 2015 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Spearfish Convention Center, I-90 Exit 14, Spearfish Bridal Style Show: 2pm

All dresses available for try on before & after the style show.

Trunk Shows: Mori Lee & Madeline Garner New York

Admission: $2.00 at the door

Grand Prize:

FREE Wedding Dress*

Courtesy of Bridal Boutique & Bling Prom

Many more door prizes! *Some restrictions apply. Must be present to win.

Vendors to meet all your needs! Dresses • Beauty • Photography • Catering • Cakes DJs • Venues • Flowers & Much More! For additional information or questions on showtimes, like us on 2015 - 2016 • Black I DO Hills Bridal Fair or call 605-722-5100. Facebook atHills Black

Dress by

11 A Bridal Boutique Exclusive

Weddingsilhouettes dress F

ew wardrobe decisions are scrutypes. Because the full skirt is typically poofed-up by crinoline, and will hide tinized as much as a bride-to-be’s the hips and thighs, women with a choice of wedding gown. Findpear shape might gravitate toward this ing the perfect gown that flatters the style. The ballgown style may not be future bride’s figure while stunning her ideal for petite women, as the skirt guests and soon-to-be husband is a may overwhelm their figures. labor of love for many brides. The Bridal Association of AmeriA-LINE ca estimates a bride-to-be will spend Another silhouette very forgiving or between $1,500 and $2,000 total appropriate for many body types is the on her gown, veil and accessories. A-line gown. A-line cut dresses should Brides often spend months, if not be the go-to style for anyone looking years, shopping for the right gown. to minimize perceived flaws. The cut Finding the right gown means having of the dress will fit to the waist and an understanding of what silhouettes gradually fan out from the hips to are available and what flatters certain form the outline of an uppercase “A.” body types. After all, When in doubt, A-line you want to look like gowns are classic and the best version of sensible and a favorite yourself when getting among brides. of brides use Pinterest married. Here is a to communicate their TRUMPET look at of some of Women who prefer wedding-day vision to the common types of something a little more planners and vendors. gown silhouettes and form-fitting may select why choosing this a trumpet silhouette. shape might be right This dress is fitted for you. through the body and then the gown flares out at mid-thigh level. Women BALLGOWN with taught stomachs and hourglass A ballgown dress is truly a classic figures can benefit from this style style, evoking images of fairy tale gown, but those who do not want anyprincesses. With a fitted bodice and thing tight in the hips and thighs will full skirt that flairs at the waist, this want to select something else. silhouette is usually good for all body

54%

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

MERMAID

A bit more fitted than the trumpet, this silhouette is close to the body from the chest down to the knee. The skirt then flares out slightly by the knee. Tall, thin women generally look best in this type of gown.

generally falls between the ankle and the knee.

SHEATH

MODIFIED A-LINE

Lean brides who want simplicity in their gowns can opt for a sheath silhouette. The narrow shape of the gown from the neckline to the hem will definitely accentuate the body shape. Therefore, women who are shy may want to select a different option. Petite women who may be overwhelmed by more fabric can usually wear a sheath gown with success.

TEA LENGTH

Although a bride may have a wedding gown style in mind, it is a good idea to try on a number of different silhouettes to find the one that is most flattering. Bridal salon employees are usually well-versed in matching body type to a gown and can prove invaluable when selecting a dress.

A balance between a traditional A-line and a more fitted gown, the modified A-line does not flare out as much. But it does flare out enough from the waist to hide areas around the hips and thighs. This is another good choice for a wide array of figures. Brides who do not want a gown that reaches the floor can opt for a tea length dress, on which the skirt

2015 - 2016 â&#x20AC;˘ Black Hills I DO

Emergencybridal gown care You’re having a great time dancing the night away with your friends, family and newly-declared spouse – and then it happens. You rip your dress or spill something on it, leaving you panicked and frantically looking for a solution to repair the gown of your dreams. Unless a spill is making you uncomfortable, the Association of Wedding Gown Specialists urges you to leave it alone, because more damage can actually be done during a hasty repair than by a clear-headed approach. If you do decide to treat the spot, club soda or water can be an effective

tool. The Association of Wedding Gown Specialists warns against using water on silk and rayon velvets, because they are water-sensitive and may incur permanent water spots. Rips, broken zippers and torn straps also can lead to major issues. Safety pins to the rescue. Fasten a few to the underside of your gown or have a fresh supply of sticky tape or even staples. Always be careful not to damage your gown further during the fix, especially if you have hopes of one day passing your gown down to one of your children.

Your

Wedding moment

EVERY

detail

EVERY

Beautiful wedding reception and banquet rooms for intimate celebrations for indoor or outdoor ceremonies.

Honeymoon Packages & Catering Menus also available WWW.SPFCANYON.COM

605-584-3435 | 1-877-975-6343 | Scenic Hwy. 14-A | Lead, SD 14

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

Pack an emergency wedding day kit • needle and thread in white, black and the color of bridesmaid gowns • extra pairs of pantyhose • pain reliever pills/antacid • quick-clean detergent stick • bandages • powder • deodorant • double-sided tape • black buttons • sanitary pads • mints/gum • makeup for touch-ups • extra cash • slippers or a change of shoes • umbrellas • hairspray • hair pins • names and phone numbers of all wedding vendors • static cling spray • hair dryer • contact lens solution/eye drops • nail file/clipper • straws (to sip drinks without ruining lipstick) • safety pins • black socks • earring backs

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

We can fit your needs from the

Simplest Wedding to Extravagant Fresh & Unique Floral Arrangements

Posy Palace

839 State Street, Belle Fourche

605-892-2244

Preserve those

Memories

hoosing the wrong photographer may not altogether ruin your wedding day, but it can definitely spoil the memory as you look back on less-than-par photographs. Here are a few tips for choosing the right photographer:

BE QUICK

Don’t wait to the last minute. When planning your wedding, choosing a photographer is one of the first things on the list. Good photographers are often booked a year or more in advance, so the photographer needs to be one of the first people you call after the engagement is announced.

DO YOUR HOMEWORK

Review previous work. And don’t just rely on a few good wedding shots posted on a website. Look through your would-be photographer’s portfolio. Is the lighting good? How about the colors? Also make sure you are reviewing the work of the actual photographer that will be taking your pictures. Larger studios may have several photographers that represent them.

GET REFERENCES

Personal references from others who have used the photographer in question

are always a good idea. Inquire not only about the finished product, but also about their experience with them. Was it pleasant and hassle-free? Would they use them again?

KNOW THEIR PLANS

Ask about backup equipment. Not only should your wedding photographer have an assistant to help them, but they should also bring extra equipment in case the originals fail. Multiple lenses, flash cards and batteries are a must.

SIGN A CONTRACT

Most photographers are very professional, but this step will ensure that they don’t suddenly change the pricing or back out at the last minute. Negotiate price, packages, proofs and other particulars, and then get it in writing. Don’t sign anything until you have had the time to review the contract. You want to have a good understanding of the products and services you will be receiving before you enter into the contract agreement.

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

Photos Courtesy: Photo Booth of the Northern HIlls

wedding and reception from every angle, even in crisp HD format. Be ready to shell out a big portion of your wedding budget for this option, though. Quality video technicians don’t come cheap.

Because great pictures are the cornerstone of your wedding memorabilia, it’s important WEDDING JOURNAL to choose a trustworthy and competent From the day of your engagement to photographer. the day of your wedding – and even for Having uniquely preserved wedding years to come – a wedding journal is memories is a one-shot deal. Do your a great way to record homework and employ your thoughts and these tips when choosemotions related to ing the photographer Besides the reception, your marriage. the most expensive parts for your wedding. Initially you can use of the wedding are Whether you opt it to jot down ideas for engagement rings ($5,002), for video, photography the wedding and recepphotography and video or another method to ($3.378), music ($1,297), tion while also writing record the day’s events, & wedding rings ($1,727). about your happiness, be sure to have a plan excitement and expecahead of time so you’re tations for married life. not scrambling for Writing in a journal can also serve as a ideas at the last minute. type of release from the stress of planning a wedding. VIDEOGRAPHER Video is a powerful option for preRENT A PHOTO BOOTH serving your wedding memories, as it Another unique and fun way to capaffords you the opportunity to watch ture special family and friends at your yourself walk down the aisle over and wedding is to hire a photo booth. You over again. A professional videographer can set can get instant event pictures that you up multiple cameras to capture your and friends will thoroughly enjoy.

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

Wedding Announcements run free of charge in our Black Hills Pioneer Saturday edition or as space allows. NOTE: Submissions may be edited according to available space.

Wedding Information Bride’s Name & Hometown: _____________________________________________ Bride’s Parents’ Names & Residence(s): ____________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ Groom’s Name & Hometown: ___________________________________________ Groom’s Parents’ Names & Residence(s): __________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ Date and Place of Wedding: ______________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ Wedding Party: _________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ Wedding Colors: _______________________________________________________ Bride’s Education: ______________________________________________________ Employment: __________________________________________________________ Groom’s Education: _____________________________________________________ Employment: __________________________________________________________ PHOTO ENCLOSED:

YES

NO q

If photo needs to be returned, please enclose self-addressed, stamped envelope. We strongly urge you to type this form or print neatly. Handwriting can be misinterpreted and if we can’t read your handwriting, mistakes can happen. We cannot re-run wedding news printed incorrectly if the mistake is caused by misinterpreted handwriting.

Black Hills Pioneer, 7 S. Main, Lead, SD 57754 • (605) 584-2303

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

Location, Location,

Location

eather can be difficult to plan for months in advance. But strategic decisions and viable backup plans can make any wedding shine, no matter the temperature or forecast. Sit down with a wedding planner to fully explore all of your venue options, as the location will drive many of your decorating and scheduling decisions. Marrying in winter? Consider hosting your wedding and reception in the same location to cut down on potentially hazardous travel.

WARM UP

Don’t let chilly evenings keep you from planning the perfect wedding – even outdoors. Many venues feature large fireplaces or fire pits that will help keep your guests warm while racking up major style points. Consider a venue that boasts both interior and exterior areas for entertaining, which would allow you the opportunity to offer a terrace cocktail hour and indoor dancing at the same reception.

CITY BUILDINGS

Historical buildings, zoos or museums are sometimes overlooked

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

Spearfish weather at a glance Listed below are average temperature highs, lows and preciptation for the city of Spearfish throughout the year. Month High Jan.

Low

Precip

40.2˚ 19˚ .51”

Feb. 41˚ 20˚ .71” Mar. 49˚ 27.1˚ 1.18” Apr. 58.7˚ 36.4˚ 2.47” May 58.6˚ 46.5˚ 3.88” June 78.5˚ 55.3˚ 3.65” July 87.5˚ 62.5˚ 2.21” Aug. 86.7˚ 60.6˚ 1.64” Sept. 75.8˚ 50˚ 1.78” Oct. 61.4˚ 38.9˚ 2.05” Nov. 48.6˚ 28˚ 1.19” Dec. 40˚ 18.9˚ .61”

options for unique weddings. Most of these venues are often willing to host large events and can feature awe-inspiring backdrops and features. Your local chamber of commerce is usually a great place to start if you are interested in exploring your options for city locations.

How to calm those

last-minute jitters

rides- and grooms-to-be are often nervous when the day they will tie the knot finally arrives. The realization that months of planning and anticipation are finally about to come to a head often inspires some jitters in the days leading up to the wedding. But the following are a few ways couples can calm those nerves in the hours leading up to the moment they have devoted so much time and effort to planning. • Get a good night’s rest. Make your last night as an unmarried couple an

early night so you will look your best and have plenty of energy on your big day. A good night’s sleep can go a long way toward ensuring you’re in a good mood as you handle a full slate of responsibilities on your wedding day. • Spend time with family and friends. Chances are your closest friends and family members are playing significant roles in your wedding, and spending time with them is a great way to keep your nerves in check while having a fun time before, during and after the ceremony.

for your rustic, western, or country wedding. Shade Valley is nestled along the beautiful Bear Butte creek and is an ideal location for your laid back, relaxed, private wedding. • 14,000 sq. ft. Log Events Center (holds up to 600 guests) • Waterfront area with Bear Butte as the backdrop • Gazebo area • 102 camping cabins, RV sites and tent camping available for your guests • Easy access from I-90

2 0 1 5 8 1 3 7 TH P L | S T U R G I S , S D 6 0 5 . 3 4 7 . 5 5 5 6 | S H A D E VA L L E Y. C O M

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

• Don’t be afraid to delegate responsibilities. If a wedding day to-do list is overwhelming, brides- and groomsto-be should not be afraid to delegate some of the tasks on their lists. Bridesmaids and groomsmen can no doubt handle any outstanding tasks that don’t require any input from the bride or groom.

2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

• Relax as the ceremony draws nearer. Once their hair and makeup is finished, brides-to-be should sit down and exhale or arrange for the photographer to snap some fun pre-wedding photos with their bridesmaids. Grooms-to-be can do the same with their groomsmen, sharing a few last-minute jokes to ensure everyone is relaxed and ready to go before taking their places.

Changing your

Name

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes – changing your name.

fter months of planning your wedding and all the details that go along with making your special day one to remember, you’re finally able to relax and enjoy spending time with your new spouse. But if you or your spouse plan on changing your name, there is more work to be done. How does that work, exactly? From changing your driver’s license, to bank account, Social Security card, and more, getting your name changed on all official documents can be a process, but it is important to ensure accuracy. Don’t try to start the name change game before you say, “I do.” It’s a waste of time and you have plenty of other priorities to take care of. Instead,

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start after you say your vows. First, stop by your county’s Register of Deeds office and get at least two certified copies of your marriage license. It is a good idea to make several more non-certified copies as well. One of the first documents that should be changed is your Social Security card. This should be on the top of your to-do list as some banks want your new name on your Social Security card before opening an account. Updating your card will also ensure your wages are posted correctly to your Social Security records. Changing your Social Security card cannot be done online; however there is no charge to make the changes. To change your name on your

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2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

Social Security card you will need to Security card, a W-2 form, pay stub complete Form SS-5. These forms can with your name and full Social Security be obtained at http://www.socialsecunumber. For more information on what rity.gov/forms/ss-5.pdf. Additionally, documents are needed, visit http://dps. you will need proof of your identity. sd.gov. Sometimes you also may need to prove Now that you have a new Social your current U.S. citizenship or lawful Security card and driver’s license, other noncitizen status. This can be done with documents can be updated. a driver’s license, passport, or state-isIf international travel is in your sued, non-driver ID card. Mail your future, be sure to update or receive a application to your local Social Security passport. You may run into troubles if office. you have a passport in one name and a To change your driver’s license, stop driver’s license in another. Find need to by your local department of motor know info at http://travel.state.gov. It vehicles office. You will need to bring a does take a while for your passport to certified copy of your marriage license. be issued - four to six weeks, however If your license has expedited processing a gold star in the can be requested for upper right corner, a charge. you will also need If you are honeyto bring your mooning abroad and current driver’s are using your maidlicense or ID card, en name and will two documents later change your • Thank you notes proving your name, don’t worry residential address about losing all your • Pick up cake, such as a utility visas and stamps. decorations, etc. bill, bank stub, Your old, cancelled • Vendor reviews phone bill among passport can be sent • Dress cleaning and/or other items. separately from your preservation If your license new passport. • Gift returns does not contain Other documents • Registry completion the star you will should be changed need to bring such as bank acmore items. This counts and mortincludes a docugages, credit cards, ment that proves investments, utilities, your date of birth, identity and citizenhealth insurance, voter registration, ship. This can be a valid and unexpired other legal documents and with your U.S. Passport, a certified copy of your employer. birth certificate as well as other items. Each entity seems to have its own You will also need to bring docupolicy when it comes to the name ments that prove your Social Securichange game, but relax, and enjoy your ty number. This can be your Social new spouse.

More Post-Wedding Tasks to Tackle

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100 it ps 26

Photo Courtesy: Watson Photography

Being well informed about every detail - big or small will make all the difference.

hen was the last time you planned a party this big? If you’re like most brides, this event is a first in size, details - and pressure! Because wedding planning is so time consuming, being well organized is the only way to keep things under control. Most weddings, especially large ones, require lots of advance planning in order to book the best bridal resources, many of which are reserved one or two years before the event. Today’s long engagements — 14 months on average — allow couples time to pull the details together and save for the expenses they may be handling or sharing with parents.

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This checklist is packed with all the essential steps you need to know about during planning. The more time you have, the more opportunity you’ll have to comparison shop. And you’ll also feel less pressured to commit to something that does not seem right for you. However, if your timetable is condensed, simply move the steps up. For a much shorter schedule, a wonderful wedding can still be had by making some logical compromises. For example, plan on a morning/ noon wedding, with a breakfast or brunch/luncheon reception, or a Friday or Sunday evening ceremony and reception. In some areas of the country there is also more flexibility for hiring choice resources for a Saturday wedding on shorter notice during the months of January, February and March. Happy planning!

12 to 24 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING

1 Visit your clergy together and set the

date for the ceremony. 2 Discuss expenses with all concerned and establish a firm budget. 3 Decide on the size and formality of your wedding. 4 Interview party planners or wedding consultants with a reputation for a job well done. If time is at a premium for you or distance is a problem, a professional planner is well worth the fee. With so many details to look after, their experience can help save you costly mistakes. 5 Consider unusual locations to hold the celebration. Contact your local parks department or historical society. 6 Select the place you’d like to hold the reception. Make reservations if CONTINUED ON PAGE 28

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2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

it is in a club, hotel, catering hall or restaurant. If it is to be at home or at a place that does not provide food, check into catering services and book them. Ask to see a variety of possible menus; inquire if a wedding cake is included or if one must be arranged for separately. 7 Start shopping around for your wedding dress, headpiece and veil. 8 Make alternate plans for an outdoor wedding in case the weather is bad. The most logical options include a very sturdy tent and a platform that withstands rain, or an indoor, alternative location that is indicated on the reception invitation. 9 Invite relatives and/or friends to be in your wedding party. Talk over finances with them and be considerate of their limitations. 10 Select two or three possibilities for

your attendants’ gowns and arrange an appointment with the shop to bring your attendants in to see their choices. Because they pay for their own dresses, it’s thoughtful to do this, if possible. After a review of the styles, the final decision is yours. 11 Buy calendars for attendants and immediate families and mark important wedding-related dates for them in red. As other dates are made during the planning they can plug them into their calendar. 12 Draw up the guest list. Notify your fiancee’s family to do the same. 13 Interview photographers, videographers, musicians and florists. Make a separate folder for each service you select. Keep contracts, notes, questions and all pertinent data in them for a handy and quick reference.

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6 to 12 MONTHS

4 MONTHS

BEFORE THE WEDDING

19 Address invitations and announcements. All addressing, Include extra envelopes in case of stuffing and stamping should be mistakes, and a few extra invitations completed in time to mail the to have as mementos for you and invitations four to six weeks before your family. If you want calligraphy the wedding. If you have an “A” and and find handwork too expensive, a “B” list, you may mail “A” eight look into computer resources. Ask weeks in advance. When you receive for envelopes to be delivered early so you can address them leisurely. At the regrets, you may invite people on “B” four weeks (and no less than three same time, order personal stationery weeks) before the wedding. Prepare (an ample supply of both letter and maps and directions notepaper) for writing to include with thank-you notes. invitations. 15 Have mothers 20 Check with the select their dresses. of marrying post office for the Your mother has postage needed to couples choose to the privilege of mail the invitation write their first choice so that when all the pieces own vows. she can have the are enclosed in the color and style she envelope. Purchase prefers. The groom’s pretty “Love” stamps mother chooses a for an appropriate wedding touch. dress similar in formality and in a 21 Schedule professional dance lessons complementary color. Both should to make your first dance memorable. blend with your bridal-party color 22 Meet with the caterer to firm up scheme. the menu and all the details. If any 16 Decide upon the men’s attire. guests require special food, arrange Accompany your fiancée to a formalthat now. Be sure all your expectations wear specialty shop in your locale are clearly defined in a written to select what the groom, best man, contract, which should include taxes, ushers and fathers will wear. any service charges, and additional 17 Register with the bridal gift fees to bartenders and waiters, if not registry in your favorite store. Meet included in the package. Also, you with the director of the registry and should make certain that the location her trained staff for help choosing — which should be a licensed catering your china, crystal, linens and other establishment — carries basic liability household preferences. Indicate insurance. engagement and shower gift choices, 23 Engage a baker to create a special as well as wedding presents. wedding cake, if you want something more elaborate than what your caterer 18 Reserve the location for your offers. Inquire about a cake-cutting rehearsal dinner. 14 Select and order your invitations.

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CONTINUED ON PAGE 30

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charge if you bring in the wedding cake from elsewhere. 24 Investigate having air-conditioning in a tent when the wedding is to be held in warm weather. 25 Plan a rehearsal dinner. Members of the wedding party, their spouses, fiancee’s or significant others should be invited, along with both your immediate families. If possible, invite out-of town guests, too. 26 Arrange accommodations for attendants who do not live in town. If neither you nor any of your family, friends or neighbors have the facilities to house them, make hotel reservations. Your fiancée does the same for his attendants. 27 Reserve a block of rooms at a hotel for out-of-town guests. Most hotels offer discounts to guests for a wedding weekend. In advance of mailing

invitations, write to your guests and enclose the hotel information so they can make their reservations directly. Once they arrive, have waiting for them a complete information packet, including city maps, transportation schedules and prices, sights to see and restaurants. An additional courtesy, included with this information, might be a refreshing basket of fruit, snacks or other food that your region is known for. 28 Ask a friend or relative to check on your out-of-town guests to be sure they are comfortable and answer any of their questions. Provide that person’s name and phone number in your letter because you will be so busy those last few days. 29 Visit your florist with dress-color swatches to help with the selection of flowers for your wedding and

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reception. Ask about providing the aisle runner for the ceremony. Again, be sure everything is clearly itemized in a contractual agreement. 30 Decide on your honeymoon destination. Consult a travel agent. Traditionally, the groom makes these arrangements, but if you’re better at that, don’t hesitate to offer. 31 Hire limousines or other specialty cars for the wedding party members. 32 Investigate resources for designing and printing a program to distribute at the ceremony. Desktop publishing should make that possible at a reasonable cost to you. 33 Consult with your officiant about any restriction on photography and videography. 34 Discuss with helpful family or friends the possibility of their inviting out-of-town guests to dinner the

night before the wedding, if you can’t include them at your rehearsal party. Also, they might host a breakfast or lunch for travelers, if the wedding is late in the day.

2 MONTHS

BEFORE THE WEDDING

35 Compile a list of all the friends

and family members you would like to have invited to showers. 36 Tell the hostess for parties in your honor where you are registered. That store may be indicated right on the shower invitation, but not on the wedding invitation. 37 Now’s the time to put your wedding invitations into the mail. 38 Record your wedding gifts as they arrive. Note the giver’s name, address, type of gift, date received and date you acknowledge them. CONTINUED ON PAGE 32

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39 Write thank-you notes promptly.

about excessive volume — it can ruin Within two months of returning a reception. Tell them about any ethnic from your honeymoon, you should favorites you may want so they’ll acknowledge all wedding gifts. be familiar with the music. Inquire 40 Call to confirm the exact date and about breaks, continuous music and time of rehearsals with your officiant. overtime. Get it all in writing. Notify attendants and family of the 50 Speak with the caterer about time and place. the food you want to serve to 41 Send out all invitations to the your photographer and musicians. rehearsal dinner. Something simple to eat, a beverage 42 Plan a get-together party for your and a place to sit that’s away from attendants. your guests are considered sufficient. 43 Select gifts for wedding attendants. 51 Meet with the person handling Your fiancée does the same for his. your reception and firm up every 44 Begin trousseau shopping for detail. If rental equipment is required, lingerie, honeymoon clothes and other make arrangements for it. items you’ll need depending on where 52 Select your wedding ring(s). you plan to live. Arrange for engraving. 45 Purchase a pretty 53 Set a date with wedding guest book your photographer for friends and for a formal bridal While May (15 percent of weddings) has taken the top family to sign at the portrait to be made spot over June as the most reception. four weeks before the popular month to get 46 Check with local wedding. married, September and authorities to see 54 Discuss having October (each at 13 percent) whether a blood test is a portrait of both aren’t far behind. needed for a marriage of you done for license. the newspaper 47 Make an announcement. This is appointment with your doctor for a an alternative to the traditional formal complete physical. See your dentist, newspaper photo. Or you may submit too. a wedding photo of the two of you 48 Meet with the organist and anyone taken on your wedding. else you have asked to play or sing at 55 Check with your local newspaper the service to determine the music. for the form and timing of your 49 Meet with the musicians or DJ wedding-announcement submission. engaged to play at the reception to 56 Select party favors to present to plan the selections you and your your guests to thank them for sharing fiancée want, from your song to the your happiness. For this purpose, a dance tempo you expect them to groom’s cake, in a traditional fruitcake maintain. Plan a variety of songs so or deep, rich chocolate, may be there’s something older guests will ordered from your baker. Guests take a enjoy as well as what’s hot among piece home in little boxes. your peers. Caution the musicians 57 Give thought to your cake top.

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Porcelain figurines are beautiful and will be a lasting memento. A creative baker will most likely have other ideas to present to you. 58 Talk about ways to personalize your ceremony and then discuss your ideas with the officiant. 59 Check with the church sexton and manager of the reception location for accessibility to accommodate handicapped or elderly guests. Inform ushers of this. 60 Buy fake rings to sew on your ring bearer’s pillow. The best man carries the real ones.

1 MONTH

BEFORE THE WEDDING

61 Finalize plans with your

photographer and draw up a list of pictures you definitely want taken during the ceremony and reception. 62 Ask a relative or friend who knows the family well to help the photographer identify the people to be included in your photos, especially if there is a divorce or remarriage, or any type of sticky situation among the parents of the couple. 63 Develop an orderly system of tracking guests’ responses and any special information you need to remember. 64 Discuss the bachelor party with your fiancée. Suggest the event be scheduled at least a week before the wedding day so there’s plenty of time to recover from the revelry. 65 Have a final fitting on your gown and make certain it will be ready to take to your bridal-portrait sitting. 66 Make an appointment to have your hair styled just before your formal portrait is taken, and again the day

before or day of your wedding. 67 Check apparel for the wedding party. Have bridesmaids’ gowns fitted. Get swatches of material and have shoes dyed to match. If any attendants live out of town, send their dresses to them to be fitted. Check mothers’ dresses and accessories. 68 Call the caterer and make a final decision on the reception menu. Be sure that the cake has been ordered. 69 Give your caterer a reliable estimate of the number of guests expected at the wedding reception, so they can give you a written confirmation of cost per person with an itemized accounting - to the smallest detail - of what they promise to provide. 70 Confer with the florist to be sure everything is ordered. Confirm the time that flowers will be delivered and decorations will be completed. 71 Arrange a transportation schedule for those in the wedding party. 72 Select a special wedding gift to give each other. 73 Go over all procedures of the wedding ceremony and receiving line with each other. 74 Make seating plans for the rehearsal dinner, ceremony and reception. 75 Write out place cards, if you plan to have a bride’s table and a parent’s table. Also complete table number cards for guests if you’re hosting a sitdown dinner. 76 Decide which members of the wedding will be included in the receiving line and plan their positions. 77 Keep gift checklist up to date, and write thank-you notes daily. 78 Consult professional movers for estimates to move your gifts and CONTINUED ON PAGE 34

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personal belongings to another town, if you’re relocating. 79 Make certain you are insured against damage or loss in transit.

89 Confirm ceremony vocalists and

musicians, and recheck your musical selections. 90 Arrange your gift display. All cards should be removed. Checks are not 2 WEEKS displayed, but a card stating “Check BEFORE THE WEDDING from Aunt Louise” may be substituted. 80 Set a date with your fiancée to get Insure gifts. your marriage license. 91 Invite friends and relatives to drop 81 Be sure that the clothing and by to see your gifts. accessories for all 92 Present a small gift members of the bridal or note of appreciation party are in order. to friends and relatives The reception 82 Check with the who did special favors accounts for society editor of your that made planning local newspaper run smoothly. of wedding costs, and your groom’s 93 Do a final check with an average price tag hometown paper on details with your of $12,343. to find out what florist, caterer, sexton, form they wish you clergy, musicians and to follow to submit photographer. your wedding announcement and 94 Finalize your honeymoon plans and photograph. Mail the materials soon. begin packing. 83 Change your name on your bank account, Social Security card, 1 DAY license, insurance and other important BEFORE THE WEDDING documents, if you are assuming your 95 Have a manicure, pedicure and husband’s name. even a massage to pamper yourself and help you feel relaxed. 1 WEEK 96 Attend the rehearsal. Review all BEFORE THE WEDDING important duties with the principals in 84 Finalize your rehearsal dinner the wedding party. arrangements. 97 Give ushers the list of guests to be 85 Wrap gifts purchased for your seated in the reserved section. attendants and groom. Present them at

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the rehearsal party. 86 Make plans to transport any gifts brought to the reception to your parents’ home or other designated place. 87 Call guests who have not responded to their invitation to ask if they’ll be attending. 88 Add last-minute acceptances and phone your caterer with the final guest count.

THE

WEDDING DAY 98 Rest and thoroughly relax in a nice

warm bath. 99 Allow plenty of time to dress about two hours before the ceremony begins, if possible. 100 Have a wonderful wedding day and enjoy every beautiful moment!

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2015 - 2016 • Black Hills I DO

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