Belle-Noir Magazine November/December 2010

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Contents |

Beautiful You

P11 Style File: Step Out In Style This Holiday Season with Outfit Ideas from Contributing Writer Mia L. Shelton from Fleurtle

Living It Up P18 P20

Dollars & Sense: The Frugalicious Diva: Tis The Season to Save! Keep It Moving: A Personal Guide To Getting Through The Holidays

Features P24

12 Days of Diva: Holiday Shopping Guide: Our 3rd Annual Guide is Back and Better Than Ever Featuring Gift Ideas for Every Curvy Diva!

Deep Inside P38 P40

Stress-free Holiday Season by Michi Story Candidly Speaking: Renee Jennings

In Every Issue P9 P6

A Note From Ms. Aja B. Contributors

Cover Art

“Gifts” by Jean “JNESS” Nerestant JNESS Graphics


Contributors | Thank you to the following contributors!

Mia L. Shelton

Mia L. Shelton is a stylist extraordinaire and the Founder and CEO of Fleurtle – THE Plus Size Style Destination! As a former marketing executive at several top fashion-publishing houses in New York City, Mia often daydreamed about launching a style company that would give plus size women the confidence to celebrate who they are regardless of their size. She is now living her dream wide wake with the recent launch of Fleurtle. Fleurtle, which is the combination of the French word “fleur” for flower and turtle, is dedicated to inspiring plus size women to blossom with outof-the-shell style by offering style services, advice via its blog and “The Look for Curves” interactive videos, and consignment shopping at its Pink Slipper Boutique. Mia uses the styling tips and tricks she learned as a formerly thin, but now plus size woman to demonstrate to her curvy clients that style has nothing to do with size and everything to do with confidence and resourcefulness.

Erika N. Kendall

Erika N. Kendall is the blogger behind A Black Girl’s Guide to Weight Loss, a website devoted to sharing knowledge about the health of ALL women, while addressing concerns about our culture that affect the health of Black women!


Belle-Noir Magazine | Big. Beautiful. You.™ November/December 2010 Volume 1 Issue 2

Publisher & Editor-in-Chief Aja B. Stubbs

Contributing Writers Steffany Allen Toianna Wika Latisha Williams Danielle Young Renee Jennings

Artwork

Jean “JNESS” Nerestant

Graphic Design & Layout Jessica Kane of Kane Kreative

Public Relations Manager Renee Jennings, R. Media Group

Advertising Inquiries advertise@belle-noir.com

Interested in being featured in Belle-Noir Mag? Email us at editor@belle-noir.com

Belle-Noir Magazine is published by BelleNoir Communications. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the advanced written consent of Belle-Noir Communications. ©2010 All Rights Reserved.



A Note from Ms. Aja B | “Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!” ~Hamilton Wright Mabie Is it just me or do the holidays start earlier and earlier? It seems to me that before we can fully digest all of that Halloween candy, every street corner, department store and web ad is now all aglow in holiday splendor. It is easy to get stressed out with the holiday season upon us. There are gifts to be purchased and wrapped, holiday parties to hosted and attended, delicious goodies to be eaten and not-so-graciously declined. Even for the plus size divas that we all are/try to be, it can get overwhelming. Allow this mini-issue of Belle-Noir Magazine to be our gift to you this holiday season. Wondering what to dress your curves in for that office party? Guest contributor Mia L. Shelton serves up some great “recipes” to help you whip up the perfect outfit in no time. And speaking of recipes, guest contributor ErikaN. Kendall from “A Black Girl’s Guide to Weight Loss” shares her personal tips on how to make it through the holidays without over-indulging. Writer Latisha Williams will help you keep from over-indulging financially in this month’s “Frugalicious Diva” column. And our big ta-da? Our 3rd annual “12 Days of Diva” Holiday Shopping Guide makes its debut on our digital pages, with suggestions for all of the divas in your life (including yourself)! We hope you enjoy our holiday issue! It is our gift of love from us to you. Happy Holidays from everyone on Team Belle-Noir to each of you! Peace & Love, Ms. Aja B.

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Frugalicious Diva | by Latisha Williams Tis The Season to Spend Smart! It’s Holiday Time! You know what that means right? SHOPPING!

holiday season again, haunting us, calling us to spend more than we intended, and oftentimes, more than we have. Then, we spend the next three months into the beginning of the New Year, making resolutions. For what? You guessed it: to pay off debt and lose weight, two things that we personally magnified between the months of October to December. Since I know you started saving with our first chat just a couple months ago, then you should find it easier to get to this next step: Smart Spending!! It is inevitable that we will spend money, but spending less of it each time is the key to successfully becoming frugalicious! First, let’s explore some alternatives to overspending during the holidays: Gift Exchange – The gift exchange is perfect for big families. The key to this is that everyone is responsible for buying ONE gift. Put everyone’s name in a hat and then, everyone picks one name (note: nominate one person to be a monitor to ensure everyone picks a name). You only purchase for the name you choose, instead of buying for everyone. Set a dollar amount and have the monitor write down what you want in that price range. Everyone will get a gift. The icing on the cake? Everyone gets what they want! Use your Talent – Are you artistic? Have a special knack to baking or working with your hands? Try giving a heartfelt homemade gift. Getting specialized gifts, made with your own hands are sure to make any recipient feel special.

The ongoing theme of the holidays is always spending. No one seems to care if they are spending too much For those of you who are shoppers and prefer store though. In fact, it has become a way of life for most of bought gifts? Try these on for size: us to overspend every holiday season. Christmas Thrift – This is similar to the gift exEvery year we promise ourselves we’re going to start change, but allows for you to buy for more people. shopping earlier, but we never do. We get caught Maybe you and your family can get together and up in everyday life and when we look up, here’s the agree to only buy gifts from the Goodwill, Salvation


Army, Savers or whatever second hand store is in your area. This can be a fun to way to celebrate the season without throwing your wallet in the fire. Black Friday – For the more experienced shopper, this is for you!! For the first time in my life I will be shopping Black Friday this year. I have a cousin though, who makes this a yearly event and has it down to a science. Taking a lesson from her, planning, even this late in the year, is the key to shopping smart and getting the most out of what’s in your wallet. Agree to only shop on Black Friday and set aside cash specifically for this day. Once the money is gone or the day is over, your shopping is complete for this year. Be sure to maximize your shopping experience by using coupons or coupon codes for online spending. You spend and save all at the same time!!

Financial Affirmation of the Month: I Desire Prosperity and it is mine for the Asking!! Say it! Believe it! Do it! Until next time, Love Always, Frugalicious Diva!! Only Make Room for Abundance!!

Now, for those that are bold; those who want to change their lifestyle and get on the fast track to debt busting and wealth building, this one is for you. Before entering this door, you MUST be sure that you are ready to take this leap; that you understand there is no turning back; that this will will change your financial life FOREVER!! You ready? Spend $0 this holiday season! Gasp!! Yes, you can refuse to fall into the shopping line and truly enjoy your holiday season without the stress of shopping, being in last minute shopping traffic, fighting for the prized items and spending money earmarked for something more important. I promise you if you do this, you will be in fighting shape to begin the next step we take in January. You can choose to create your own tradition, this holiday season, one that will allow you to win in the end. With that, I’d love to share this month’s financial affirmation with you:

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Keep it Moving | by Erika Kendall My Personal Guide to Getting Through The Holidays I’m not gonna lie — I hate this time of year. Sure, I love the family gatherings, the reminiscing, and the making of new memories… but damn, can we do it without it surrounding food? It takes a giant pot luck holiday and the promise of a full tummy to bring everyone together? Cold game! I know that’s pessimistic, but I’d much rather have the good times and skip the whole “Battle of Thanksgiving” between my will power and the candied yams, you feel me? Besides, since I don’t eat pork, and everything is cooked in pork or beef (I’m reminded of the Boondocks clip where Huey and Granddad argue about the “Pork Flavored Broccoli”), I’m often left eating lettuce and water while the person next to me enjoys their bacon flavored cornbread. Sigh. Having said that, I think it’s time I shared a few tips that I plan on using to make sure that I don’t leave Thanksgiving with about 5lbs of food stuck ON me, and 5lbs of booty that I didn’t plan for. ‘Cause seriously — while booty is nice, I’m going to flip out if I leave with more than I came with. Just being honest. 1. Keep a glass of water on you at all times. Why? Firstly, water actually helps you fill up. Drinking water while you eat slows you down, and gives your body time to process the fact that food is being put into it. Since it takes your mind approximately 20 minutes to realize that your body is full, taking time to slow down and drink water (a vital part in weight loss, anyhow) will give your body time to realize what’s being put inside of it, and how much. 2. Portions, portions, portions! I know that Aunt Pookie (hey, I love my Aunt Pookie) has the world’s best scalloped potatoes, and I know that you love ‘em and all, but commit yourself to portion sizes

no larger than the palm of your hand. 3. Put the satellite dish-sized plate down. I’m serious. You know y’all have those Thanksgivingspecific plates that are large enough to double as someone’s rims. Don’t do it to yourself. Stick to a regular sized plate, palm-sized portions, and allow yourself to try a bunch of different things… not simply overdoing it on the few things you love. 4. Leave the obviously-store-bought-stuff… alone. I jokingly asked this question on twitter, but I’m serious. Those store-bought pies, those boxed mashed potato flakes, the scalloped potatoes that come from the Betty Crocker magic elixir? Leave it alone. Why? Foods that are processed are, well, processed – genetically engineered to be easier to chew, not leave food in your teeth, or “fill you up.” Unfortunately, it only turns back into the same powder it originated from, with all the calories and none of the “full” feeling… leaving you not only still hungry after all those calories, but on a carb high, at that. That wonderful “melt in your mouth” feeling that M&Ms has convinced us is a good thing? It might be wonderful for chocolate… really not ideal when it comes to actual food. 5. Remember what the holiday is for. I know that’s a little pious, but just humor for me for a moment. If this is the one time that you get to see your younger nieces and nephews who are living out of state, and they’re forced to wait to be the last ones to eat (since they’re the youngest – you know how that goes), then stick behind and talk to them (while sipping your water) for a few moments. Play with the kids you don’t see as often as you like. Talk to your


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show-off cousin about his new car that he just bought, yet suspiciously has the “Avis” rental brochure still in the windshield. More talking, less eating. Entertain yourself! 6. Lastly, and this is a big one: Don’t listen to anyone telling you what you do or don’t need to do for you. If someone at the table tells you, “So… you got all kinds of booty, now!” or “Why

is your plate so light? Let me fix you another plate, girl, you’re too skinny!” or even (as happened to me a few years back) “Gosh, I remember when you were younger… and skinny!” be polite. Keep your composure. I’m telling you it’ll happen and you’re reading this going “Mmhmm, I can hear it now.” Don’t let it derail your holiday, piss you off, and send you running in there to those magic elixir mashed potatoes. Get your joy from the people who know how to act, don’t be afraid to be mocked for trying to focus on your health during the holidays, and for crying out loud… don’t stress out to the point where it makes you emotionally eat. If there’s ONE thing you don’t need this time of year, it’s to emotionally eat. Kid in a candy store syndrome, and whatnot. If you should happen to let it slip that you’re watching your figure, don’t let anyone tell you “Come on, live a little” as a response. Don’t accept that. You’re surrounded by family you don’t see as often as you like. Use this time to “live” by enjoying their company, sharing stories of strength and love, and amaze yourself with how the kids have grown since last time. The last thing you should be “living” through and for on Thanksgiving… is food. To be a little corny (or a lot), the food is mainly a side dish. The family should be the main course. Be happy, be healthy! Erika is the blogger behind A Black Girl’s Guide To Weight Loss, a blog where she discuss how she lost 152 pounds (and still losing), and helps others to learn how to maintain a happy and healthy lifestyle. Learn more about her journey and get tips at www.blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com. Article reprinted with permission from A Black Girl’s Guide to Weight Loss.



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Stress Free Holiday Season | by Michi Story The holiday season is a time when our schedules get full with traveling out of town, hosting guests and attending parties. All of these things can be quite fun but also can result in more stress than usual. These ten tips will reduce your stress and mare your holiday season more enjoyable.

(1) It’s all about the attitude. Tell yourself this year will be less stressful then visualize what this holiday season will be like with more fun and less stress. You will be amazed at how your vision will become a self fulfilling prophecy. (2) Don’t strive for perfection. We can’t all be Martha Stewart. So scale back on the details, most people won’t notice the little things that could have taken us hours to create or do. So instead take the extra time you have on your hands to enjoy the day and the holiday spirit. (3) Scale back. Cook a little less. Every year we all have plenty of leftovers. This year cook less and spend the extra time enjoying the company of family and friends.

(4) Plan now. Do less running around by putting together a list of what you will need and buying it ahead of time. If you have guests visiting make sure plan for any items they may need. This will prevent last minute visits to the store. (5) Take time out to relax. Don’t over schedule yourself or your guests. An afternoon of down time will be a welcome change of pace and will be appreciated by yourself and guests. (6) Get moving. Often our energy is low during the holiday season. To get re-energized don’t slack off on your exercise routine you will need it


even more. If you don’t exercise regularly then go for a brisk walk. This will help your mood as well!

that outweighs the additional toll it takes on having a hectic holiday season. (10) Have some fun. Take some time to truly do something you want to do with your family instead of attending another company party, or social gathering.

(7) Don’t sweat the small stuff. Let this year be the year you will have more joy and fun by not letting the little things get under Michi Story, founder of Kenzen Wellness Coaching, helps your skin. (8) De-clutter! Go through your house and get rid of anything you don’t need. Also, make sure you have everything in its place. So you can find the special tablecloths, or plates without tearing the house apart.

busy moms mange their stress, get fit, have more energy, and balance work/life. Learn more about how Kenzen Wellness Coaching can make you a healthy, happy & harmonious mom when you subscribe to the free monthly Inspired Living ezine and receive a free special guide on Creating your best live today at: http://www.kenzenwellness.com Article Source: www.ezinearticles.com

(9) Just say no! Don’t say yes, to every party or holiday invitation. You may initially feel guilty but Belle-Noir Magazine | 39


Candidally Speaking| by Renee Jennings

It wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized how some holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas are very difficult and sad times for many people. I guess I was able to realize this because during these times I miss my Aunt Shirley the most. My aunt died on January 13, 2005. She was a boisterous woman with a big smile and wide arms to greet you every time she saw you. How I miss the bear hugs she used to give me until I was suffocated by her scent or her laugh in which came from her gut. You knew it was genuine by how hearty and full it was when it escaped her mouth.

Yes, Aunt Shirley was my hero! She always had elaborately wrapped gifts, her B.Y.O.B (bring your own bottle) of E&J and grapefruit juice for all holiday functions and warmth that a typical summer could never compete with even on the hottest day of the year. There was a loyalty etched in her DNA. No one was better than anyone regardless of how much money you earned or the mistakes you made in life, she loved everyone the same. Yet selfishly, I always believed she saved an extra amount of love for me. I’ve never truly met anyone like her since she died and I think in this industry you meet so many people who aren’t genuine or who talk about you without knowing who you are. These are the times that


you miss those who really loved you. That genuine love that doesn’t exist because of what you can do for someone but simply because of who you are. No matter what mistakes I made in life, though she would express her anger or frustrations with what I had done without hesitation, she equally expressed her unconditional love for me in the same breath. Now that she is gone I realize how much she was the glue stick that held this family together that is so

tragically drawn apart at present. Though I will be spending my holidays alone as I often do, I am comforted by knowing that such a woman existed in my life. Her memory lives on through songs I hear, fragrances I smell or special things that remind me of her. And though I cried through writing much of this piece for this issue, I am sure that in your own private time, you may cry as well for those you miss this holiday season. Know that you aren’t alone and it’s okay to let it out but in between the watery eyes, find something that makes you smile and rejoice that their memory hasn’t been forgotten. Every once in a while we all have to “take off our cool” because after all we are human. Happy Holidays to those we’ve lost and to those of us who keep the memory alive even when it hurts. Renee D. Jennings is the founder of R. Media Group, a boutique PR firm in Brooklyn, NY. Check her out on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/reneejennings or email her at Reneejennings@rmediagroup.com.

Renee and her Aunt Shirley

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