September 2013
www.BeaconSeniorNews.com
Advice & ideas 9
Ask the Old Bag Advice Column for the Over 50 Crowd By Gayle LagmanCreswick
Dear Old Bag: Is it judgmental to call someone who habitually lies a liar? Is it judgmental to call someone who steals a thief? Is it judgmental to call someone a pornographer who sexually exploits women and children? Is it judgmental to call someone a murderer who takes the life of an innocent person? Is it judgmental to call someone a fornicator who participates in a sexual relationship outside the bounds of a heterosexual marriage? Last month, you made reference to the account in the gospel of John, chapter eight, of the woman brought to Jesus who had committed adultery. After Jesus told her He did not condemn her, He also told her to go and sin no more. A true friend will speak the truth to you in love. Signed, RLS Dear RLS: You bring up good points. As I admitted before, I am not a Bible scholar. I also strive to live a clean life. I do believe in the 10 commandments. In my many years, I have seen situations in what I will call the gray areas of life, such as the two letters written to me regarding the relationships that formed between two visitors of Alzheimer’s patients in a nursing home. In the gray areas, I am glad that I do not have to judge them or throw stones at them. I pray for them. Please see the letter below. O.B. Dear Old Bag: My wife has been an Alzheimer’s resident of a nursing home for five years. She is only 60 years old. One day when I went to visit her, I was shocked to see her holding hands with another gentleman, who also has Alzheimer’s. She seemed so happy. She was looking at him lovingly, and he to her. They both were friendly to me. It took me a bit to think about this. Was she sinning? I don’t think so. She is
very ill and does not even know her name or mine. My thinking was if this little bit of happiness comes her way and can make her smile and be happy again, I am all for it. I do not mind playing second fiddle! God bless them! Signed, Second Fiddle Dear Second Fiddle: You sound like a wonderful fellow with much love in your heart. Your wife is living in her world now, and you are letting her catch a little sunshine. I am with you. O.B. Dear Old Bag: I guess you could call my dear husband a homebody. He is perfectly happy to stay at home. He does not want to take vacations or visit relatives. He is a very nice guy and easy to love. We are newly retired and I always thought retirement would be a great thing because we would be footloose and fancy-free. He thought retirement would be wonderful so he could stay at home, after having to go to work all those years. What do I do now? Signed, Getting Antsy Dear Antsy: It reminds me of a problem one of my close friends had when we were younger. Her husband had landed a big job and they were going to be well off. She immediately began planning how she would spend the money and he began to plan how much they would be able to invest and save! Sometimes, we come to a juncture in life where we realize that as a couple we have opposite notions. It requires lots of understanding and compromise. I also think that your husband may change his mind about staying at home all the time after about a year. I remember how much I enjoyed being at home after years and years in the workplace. I think that if you get out and do some things you want to do and are patient with him, he will come around. Good luck. O.B. ■
Send your questions to the Old Bag in care of the BEACON, or email lagmancreswick@cox.net.
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