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What to Expect When Strategies Training
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You’re NOT Expecting BY
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jennifer palmer
never thought I would be on the receiving end of this question. I have cringed witnessing it happen to others, then laughed recounting the story to friends. A few months ago, it happened to me. I was at the soccer field on a Saturday morning. I had on a pair of jeans that are probably a size too small and a blousy peasant style shirt that I thought was the perfect choice to mask the muffin top pushing up over my jeans. I thought it was a cute outfit, until I bumped into the mother of a child that my daughter Elena had attended daycare with. I had not seen her in a good two years. We caught up for a minute with pleasantries, “How are you? The kids? Oh they are getting so big etc.” I saw her glance toward my expanding midrift, and then I knew it was coming, “Are you expecting?” I wasn’t expecting, and I really wasn’t expecting that! Deep sigh. It’s true. I have gained a good 20 lbs. in the last year. It came out of nowhere. Pants that once slipped on easily, I now can’t even attempt to close. It is a little depressing. “No, I’m just fat. I have put on about 15-20 lbs. Some of the medications I take cause weight gain,” I replied. Then she did what most people do, the worst possible thing she could do, she tried to back track. “Oh, no, I mean you look healthy (aka fat). How are you feeling anyway?” “I feel great,” I replied. I had just complained to my oncologist about the scale tipping on the high side. I have not been this heavy since I was pregnant for real. I am not the only cancer survivor complaining about weight gain. I have spent too much time Googling Tamoxifin, the drug I take to prevent cancer recurrence, and weight gain. And guess what? I am not alone. If that is supposed to make me feel better, it doesn’t. It only corroborates my story that this extra 20 lbs. is out of my control. There are women on cancer forums posting about their 30 lb. weight gain, and no matter how much
they exercise, they can’t shake it. The second comment came from a mom at back-to-school night. She is an adorable petite woman who used to boost my ego when I saw her at after school pickup. One day she told me I looked like I belonged in Hollywood. I remember looking behind me to make sure she was talking to me. I told her she was my new favorite mother at the Butler School. These days, since I am trying to avoid what my body really wants to wear - yoga pants - I had on another pair of jeans that I crammed myself into. It was hard to button them, but I forced it. The shirt I was wearing was not as blousy. I had a nice roll pushing up from the pants, creating a seemingly permanent mark on my abdomen; they were so uncomfortable. I saw her glance down at my stomach, and I knew it was coming. I just looked at her blankly and said, “I’m just fat!” What I appreciate about her is her lack of apology. She simply stated, “Hollywood, what happened?” I told her I thought my medication was causing me to gain weight. I didn’t add in the amount of wine and triple cream soft cheese I consumed this summer. Dessert, I haven’t missed it in weeks. Admittedly, it is not just the drugs; it is some bad habits as well. The other day, my husband, Arthur, caught me dipping chips into cream cheese. He has had to listen to me complain that none of my clothes fit, and I am sure when he sees this behavior, he can’t hold back his comments. “Do you really think you should be doing that?” The truth is, I know I shouldn’t, but I like to eat. What can I say? I signed up for the gym but haven’t been yet. However, I have completed my third Pilates class. I am hoping that I can make a dent in the 20 lbs. before it gets any worse. The last thing I want is someone asking me in the new year if I am expecting twins. Jennifer Palmer (pictured above) is a Belmont mom of two and a breast cancer survivor. Read more of her musings on her blog mypunkpie.com.
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