2 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
contents Table of
October 2021
volume 26
number 6
in every issue 5 5 6 7 9 23
Editor’s note
Apple mummy tarts are an easy, tasty Halloween treat.
Finally Forever By the Numbers Herding Goofballs DIY: Halloween Lanterns Take Five: Lindsay Munroe
on the agenda 16 20
October Adventures The List: Not-So-Spooky Fun
bites 10
Nutrition: Kids Are Eating More Processed Foods Than Ever
11
Goose’s Goodies: Apple Mummy Tarts
features
12
BaystateParent + MASSACHUSETTS’
PREMIER MAGAZINE
FOR FAMILIES SINCE
1996
OCTOBER 2021
Cover Story: One mom’s story of life with Fragile X
| PRICELESS
The Teenage Time Zone
Not-so-spooky Halloween Fun 16 October Adventures
GRIEF, GRACE, GRIT
One mom’s story of life with Fragile X
on the cover
22
Helping teens get the sleep they need
Kathleen Quinn with son Owen MacDougall at the Old Stone Church in West Boylston. CHRISTINE PETERSON/ TELEGRAM & GAZETTE
BayStateParent | OCTOBER 2021 | 3
BaystateParent Executive editor Dave Nordman
Central One offers a variety of youth accounts with great benefits to help guide your child with their finances each step of the way.
CREATIVE Editor in chief Amanda Collins Bernier
Designer Kayla Filion
ADVERTISING
Oakie Super Saver Club
Sales manager
For children under the age of 13 offering a competitive interest rate and flexible access to their funds.
Brittany Prendiville 774-420-4095 bprendiville@localiq.com
Account executive Kathy Puffer 508-767-9544 kpuffer@localiq.com
Future Investor Premium Certificate
Account executive Regina Stillings 508-767-9546 rstillings@localiq.com
For children age 17 years or younger, start saving with our Future Investor Certificate offering premium interest rates with only $100 minimum to open. You can keep adding to the certificate and watch the savings grow.
baystateparent is published monthly and is distributed free of charge throughout Massachusetts. 100 Front Street, 5th Floor Worcester, MA 01608 Do you have a story idea? We want to hear from you! Email your suggestion to acollins@gatehousemedia.com
Student Checking For your student 13 years or older, this free checking account makes the grade with no monthly fees or minimum balances required. Guide your child towards useful money management skills.
ONLINE baystateparent.com
FACEBOOK baystateparent magazine
Serving all of Worcester County
2020 centralfcu.com | (800) 527-1017 *Terms and conditions apply. For account requirements, visit centralfcu.com. Federally Insured by NCUA.
4 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
editor’s note October’s Child: Meet Heily
Y
ou knew it the instant you laid eyes on your child. That cliché is true: you can’t possibly understand what it means to be a parent until you become one. For Kathleen Quinn, there’s another experience in parenthood that must be lived to be understood. To summarize life with a highneeds child would be like “trying to explain with just words what it’s like to be in the center of a hurricane,” she writes. “You can’t understand it unless you experience it.” I can’t pretend to know anything about being the parent of a child with special needs, so this month, I’ll let
one do the talking. Kathleen, whose 13-year-old son Owen, has Fragile X, shares a candid look inside her life and heart in this month’s cover story, starting on page 12. It’s the second time she’s shared her journey with our readers – back in the fall of 2011, shortly after Owen was diagnosed, BayState Parent published
excerpts from the blog where she documented being thrust into this new world of motherhood. Now ten years later, she looks back at a decade of life, and all its twists and turns. On page 23, you’ll meet another local mom on a unique parenting journey. Lindsay Munroe has three children with autism. Her experiences informed the songs she wrote on her newly released children’s album, “Frogs and Birds,” a musical collection she recorded with neurodiverse kids in mind -and her third collaboration with kids’ entertainment icon, Raffi . We shot the cover of this issue, featuring Kathleen and Owen, at the Old Stone Church on the shore of the Wachusett Reservoir in West Boylston. It’s a beautiful spot to explore or picnic, especially this time of year. If you’re looking for more fall fun, check out The Agenda, starting on page 16. ‘Tis the season for festivals, pumpkins, trick-or-treating and more. Enjoy all the season has to off er! Amanda
Holiday cover contest
FINALLY
forever
Hi, my name is Heily and I’m artistic and I love sloths! Heily, 11, is a bright and engaging young girl of Hispanic descent. Heily is very creative and able to express herself well. She likes being creative, doing arts/crafts, dying her hair with hair paint, baking, and listening to music. Heily also enjoys being out in her community. She also loves animals and is very caring towards them. She is a personable child who cares deeply about the people in her life. She is able to build strong connections with both the peers and adults in her life. Heily does well in school and enjoys being in the classroom setting. Legally freed for adoption, Heily will do best with a local family who can keep her in contact with her siblings and those she is close with. She will thrive in a two-parent family or in an experienced one-parent household that is structured, energetic, and can give her the attention and support that she needs. A family with either much older children or no other children in the home would be best for Heily. She may
also benefi t from having a visiting resource. Can you provide the guidance, love and stability that a child needs? If you’re at least 18 years old, have a stable source of income, and room in your heart, you may be a perfect match to adopt a waiting child. Adoptive parents can be single, married, or partnered; experienced or not; renters or homeowners; LGBTQ singles and couples. The process to adopt a child from foster care requires training, interviews, and home visits to determine if adoption is right for you, and if so, to help connect you with a child or sibling group that your family will be a good match for. To learn more about adoption from foster care, call the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) at (617) 964-6273 or visit www.mareinc.org.
Let's see all those cuties! Your child could be on the cover of BayState Parent! We're currently accepting entries for our third annual Holiday Cover Contest. Send in your holiday-themed photos for the chance to be featured on the front of BayState Parent! We'll pick one photo to grace the cover of our December issue.
DOWNLOAD OUR FREE SYMPTOM CHECKER APP TODAY! GETTY IMAGES
Photos should be high-resolution (no screenshots or cell phone pics, please), and must be sent to acollinsbernier@gannett.com by October 31st. Please write "Holiday Cover Contest" in the subject line, and include names, ages and towns of all who are pictured, and the photographer's name, if applicable. By sending in your photo, you grant permission for BayState Parent to use it in print and online.
MEDICAL ADVICE WHEN YOU ARE ON THE GO.
Our Health eCheck app helps you make decisions on what type of medical care is needed when your child falls off their bike or has a persistant cough. Search from a list of symptoms or by body area.
Please note: due to the volume of submissions, we will only be contacting the sender of the winning photo.
BayStateParent | OCTOBER 2021 | 5
BY THE
numbers
Top
5
Where window coverings rank among the hidden hazards in your home. When their cords are accessible to small children, they may become strangulation hazards. The Window Covering Safety Council urges parents to replace any corded window coverings with safer, cordless products this month for National Window Covering Safety Month. Look for products that are marked with the Best for Kids™ certification label. If you have corded window coverings and can’t replace them, ensure that the cords are out of sight and reach by shortening or moving them up and away so that they are inaccessible to young children. You can check them for specific hazards and order a free retrofit kit at windowcoverings.org.
1
minute
The time you should wait before offering coping statements to young children after getting a shot, according to a new study. Researchers found that in the first minute after the needle, the more parents said things like ‘you can do this’ and ‘it will be over soon,’ or tried to distract preschool-age children by talking about something else, the higher distressed the children were. However, during the second minute after the vaccine, when the child was calmer, these same statements resulted in them calming down faster. Experts recommend parents should not start encouraging coping right away, but rather keep them calm by using physical strategies such as hugging, cuddling or handholding. Once children get over that initial minute of peak distress, they’ll benefit more from what you say.
PHOTOS BY GETTY IMAGES
5.6
PYO apples, pumpkins, decorative corn, and more. Brew Barn, Cidery, and BBQ open 7 days-a-week.
million
89
Pick-Your-Own Fruit Your Authentic, New England, Family Farm www.redapplefarm.com Phillipston, MA 6 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
The percentage of adults who say they’ve learned to appreciate “playtime” over the past year, according to a survey by The Genius of Play. What’s more, 84% say taking time to play helps them be more productive at work. While most of us associate playtime with childhood, adults are increasingly acknowledging the importance of play and leisure time for themselves. Research links play with a number of wellness benefits in adults, such as reducing stress, boosting life satisfaction, and empowering people to be creative, flexible thinkers.
The number of kids in the U.S. living with a food allergy. That’s nearly 8 percent, or one in 13 children. Halloween can be a tricky time for families managing food allergies, as many trick-or-treat goodies aren’t safe for children with lifethreatening food allergies. The Teal Pumpkin Project makes the holiday a little safer and more inclusive for them. If you see a teal pumpkin on a doorstep this Halloween, it means the home has non-food treats available, such as glow sticks or small toys. You can find participating households – and add your own – on the Teal Pumpkin Project Map at foodallergy.org. Similarly, if you see a child with a teal trick-or-treat bucket, consider passing out a nonfood treat to them.
HERDING
goofballs
HOOKED Fishing off ers sweet relief from life’s burdens, ample bonding opportunities
Josh Farnsworth Special to BayStateParent Magazine | USA TODAY NETWORK
Zzzzzzzzzzztt. The whir of a fi shing line cast out along the shore with the end of said line gently breaking the stillness of the water with a subtle splash. Peaceful. Tranquil. The stuff deep breaths are made of. For those seeking such sweet relief from the burdens of life and high blood pressure, few activities regularly deliver in such a way. I, myself, have only been fi shing a handful of times, but it hardly takes a lifetime to see the appeal. This summer, my wife and I introduced our two kids (Cooper, 7 and Milo, 5) to the hobby. After a couple times out, there is one undeniable fact about fi shing: there is fi shing and then there is fi shing with kids. These are two incredibly diff erent experiences (with my kids, at least). If you are
unsure what situation you may fi nd yourself in, here are some telltale signs you are surely fi shing with a couple of youthful goofballs.
Sign #1: You are spending more time with your kids’ line than your kids
First a disclaimer: fi shing with kids is not a bad thing. It can be a great thing. It’s just diff erent. In so many ways, fi shing is the antithesis of “kid.” To do it well, you need to be patient, willing to sit still for large amounts of time with no guarantee of a payoff . Regardless, if your kids are anything like mine, you’ll shortly fi nd yourself sitting at a picnic table with several fi shing poles - each tangled like a box of Christmas lights lined up for dad’s special “unraveling touch.” In these moments, sure, you’ll question why you decided to get up early on your Saturday morn-
ing away from work, but hey, at least you’ll have children covered in dirt and squashed worm parts. The great tangle is even more impressive considering it happens about every 90 seconds - like some sort of frustrating magic trick. And that comes after pulling the aquatic plant life that they managed to hook when physically dragging their fi shing pole ashore. Silver lining: if done in certain locations, I suppose it can either remove invasive plant species or provide you with the starter seaweed for your sushi rolls that night (provided you eventually cast it far enough out to reach the fi sh).
Sign #2: Your kids are setting a world record in casting
My dear, amazing children have many wonderful qualities to brag about. Sitting still
is not one of them. That means the one physical activity involved with fi shing is the only activity they engage in for hours. In retrospect, it seems as if their lines spend less time in the water and more over their shoulders - ready to be launched like a major league pitcher about to deliver a 100mile-per-hour fastball. Casting is, by far, my kids favorite part of fi shing. As a parent, you start off hovering around them with every intention of getting hooked by an errant wave of their arms. But you stand in there, position them and run like heck fi ve feet away before they can. They cast so much, a curious bystander might wonder if we are fi shing are simply trying to knock all the fi sh near the surface of the water unconscious with the constant line-fl inging.
Sign #4: The most important ‘fi sh’ come in cheesy cracker form
Sign #3: Your fi shing haul is always short of a kid’s expectations
Sign #5: You’ll want to return to the water faster
Five minutes into our fi rst fi shing expedition, both of the kids looked over at me wondering why we did not have a bucket teeming with giant marlins. “Maybe they’ve already eaten a bunch of worms today, guys.” Maybe. Once they fi nally get the lines out there - and not crossed with each other - the real run begins (I want my readers to appreciate the resolve it took to not say “reel fun” in this moment. I digress. Back to the column…). The hardest thing about teaching kids to fi sh is about teaching patience in the form of time. I tell my kids to cast and leave their line out there for a while. About 30 seconds later, with no fi sh pulling on the line, they drag the entire thing in - taking any vegetation unfortunate enough to grow near the shore with it.
A tacklebox just isn’t ever big enough for a child’s demands of fi shing. Sure, you have spent plenty of time stocking it with lures, bobbers, bait and all other doo-dads and small tools, but really, it’s about the “second tacklebox.” More accurately, what was packed for snacks, lunch, to drink and all other manner of consumption that turns a fi shing trip into more of an impromptu fi ve-course meal that just happens to have a great view of a pond. And if you ever leave the Goldfi sh crackers at you, be prepared for harsh criticism of the trip altogether. Bonus points if your kids can see the irony in spending much of their time complaining about the lack of fi sh.
My oldest son caught a small fi sh about 10 minutes into our fi rst time out. About a moment prior to calling it a night, my youngest was outof-his-mind ecstatic when he pulled in one as well. Both were moments of pure joy you can’t pay for. And to have both kids go home with a fi sh story to tell reiterated my belief in a merciful God. Despite all the hiccups and quirks to fi shing this way, they have found pockets of true enjoyment in progressing more and more in their fi shing skills. Sure, you will spend less time actually fi shing than you planned, but seeing them cast that fi rst line correctly, watching the unbridled joy on their faces as they reel in their fi rst fi sh, is worth every moment otherwise spent sleeping in on a Saturday morning. So, zzzzzzzzt away. Tranquil fi shing is overrated anyways.
Josh Farnsworth is a husband, father of goofballs Cooper and Milo, goofball himself, and award-winning writer and columnist living in Worcester. He can be reached for column ideas at josh.farnsworth@yahoo.com. BayStateParent | OCTOBER 2021 | 7
Maternal care that centers on you. Receive expert care, support and attention from nationally recognized physicians and staff
heywood.org WM-0000461686-01
8 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
242 Green Street, Gardner, MA 01440
978-630-6228
DIY
HALLOWEEN lantern jars
Upcycle a glass jar into a fun Halloween lantern. Put it on your mantel, front porch, or fi ll it with candy and give it as a gift.
What you need Glass jar Colored tissue paper (we used orange, yellow and white) Mod Podge Glue Small foam brush Black construction paper Ribbon (we used black and orange)
Directions Cut tissue paper into small pieces, about one inch each. Younger children can tear the tissue paper. Different shaped pieces are OK. Using the foam brush, apply a thin layer of Mod Podge to the outside of
the jar. Layer pieces of tissue paper over the glue, adding more glue and tissue as needed until the jar is completely covered. Once the jar is fully covered, go over the tissue with one more thin coat of Mod Podge. Let dry. If making a ghost or jack-o-lantern, cut pieces for the “face” out of the black construction paper. Have fun and be creative! Attach to the jar with a little glue, and let dry. For an optional fi nishing touch, tie or glue a ribbon around the top of the jar. Light it up! Use votives, tealights or battery-powered lights to make it glow.
PROVIDED
This October at Old Sturbridge Village KID-FRIENDLY • CANDY • HORSE RIDES • BONFIRES • AND MORE! Details and tickets at WWW.OSV.ORG BayStateParent | OCTOBER 2021 | 9
BITES
nutrition
Kids are eating more
PROCESSED
FOODS
GE
TT Y
IM
AG E
S
than ever, study says
10 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
A
merican kids are getting the majority of their calories from highly-processed foods — more than ever before — a new study fi nds. Ultra-processed foods made up two-thirds of the calories consumed by children and adolescents in 2018, according to a Tufts University study published in the medical journal JAMA. The term “processed” simply means changing food from its original state. Chopping fruit, grinding wheat into fl our, or freezing fresh peas are all considered forms of processing. But researchers worry about a diet high in “ultra-processed” foods, which might be harmful to health. These foods are ready-to-eat or ready-to-heat items often high in added sugar, sodium, and carbohydrates, and low in fi ber, protein, vitamins, and minerals. They typically contain added sugars, hydrogenated oils, and fl avor enhancers. Examples include packaged sweet snacks and desserts, sugary breakfast cereals, French fries, fast food burgers, and some lunchmeats such as bologna and salami. When consumed in excess, ultra-processed foods are linked with diabetes, obesity, and other serious medical conditions, such as certain cancers. “Processing can keep food fresher longer, allows for food fortifi cation and enrichment, and enhances consumer convenience,” said senior and corresponding author Fang Fang Zhang, nutrition epidemiologist. “But many ultra-processed foods are less healthy, with more sugar and salt, and less fi ber, than unprocessed and minimally processed foods, and the increase in their consumption by children and teenagers is concerning.” Researchers found the largest spike in calories came from ready-to-eat or ready-to-heat dishes such as takeout and frozen pizza and burgers. The second largest spike in calories came from packaged sweet snacks and desserts. Over the study period, calories from often healthier unprocessed or minimally processed foods decreased. The remaining percentage of calories came from moderately processed foods such as cheese and canned fruits and vegetables, and consumer-added fl avor enhancers such as sugar, honey, maple syrup, and butter. But there was good news too: Calories from sugar-sweetened beverages dropped from 10.8% to 5.3% of overall calories, a 51% drop. “This fi nding shows the benefi ts of the concerted campaign over the past few years to reduce overall consumption of sugary drinks,” said Zhang. Researchers hope to see the same energy when it comes to other unhealthy ultra-processed foods such as cakes, cookies, doughnuts and brownies. “Food processing is an often-overlooked dimension in nutrition research. We may need to consider that ultra-processing of some foods may be associated with health risks, independent of the poor nutrient profi le of ultra-processed foods generally,” said Zhang.
GOOSE’S
goodies
APPLE
MUMMY TARTS This easy, yummy Halloween pastry is the perfect combination of sweet and spooky .
Ingredients 1 package frozen puff pastry 2 cups apples, peeled and diced 1 teaspoon cinnamon, plus more for topping 2 tablespoons brown sugar, plus more for topping 1 egg Candy eyeballs
Directions Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Sprinkle the diced apples with 1 teaspoon cinnamon and 2 tablespoons brown sugar. Toss and set aside. Follow the directions on the box of puff pastry to thaw. Unfold the two sheets of puff pastry and cut each sheet into four squares. Place the squares on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Score dividing lines on each square, dividing it into three equal sections. On the outer sections, cut 6-8 strips on each side of the square. Scoop a spoonful of the cinnamon-sugar apples in the middle of the square. Next, fold the top strip and bottom strip down each side of the middle to keep the apples in place. Fold the remaining strips diagonally to create the mummy body. In a small bowl, beat the egg. Brush the egg over the top of the pastries using a pastry brush. Sprinkle each mummy with equal parts cinnamon and sugar. Bake according to the package directions, about 15 to 20 minutes until the mummies are golden brown. Remove from the oven and allow the pastries to cool before putting on candy eyeballs.
A fun treat for Halloween. AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER
Known as “Goose” to her grandkids, Laurie Silva Collins has perfected her recipes over years of cooking for her three daughters and six grandchildren. BayStateParent | OCTOBER 2021 | 11
cover story
X
GRIEF, GRACE, GRIT
One mom’s story of life with Fragile X Kathleen Quinn
Special to BayStateParent Magazine | USA TODAY NETWORK
F
ragile X is an inherited condition that gets passed down; a genetic mutation that expands, generation by generation, to suddenly turn off production of a necessary brain protein critical for brain function. From my father, from his mother, from her father. I was the lucky generation to hit the lottery. Well, not me, but Owen.
Kathleen Quinn with son Owen MacDougall and Owen’s dad Derek MacDougall. PHOTOS BY CHRISTINE PETERSON/TELEGRAM & GAZETTE
What are you waiting for? Join the thousands of followers in more than 180 countries.
Follow the UMass Memorial Simply Well blog today:
www.umassmemorial.org/simplywell
12 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
Eleven years ago, Owen was a 20-month-old baby — a baby — when we learned that the gene had fully mutated, and that he was fully aff ected. That’s when I entered the world of “special needs parenting.” They say “special people get special kids” -- apparently I was not special before. When I received the call about his diagnosis, the last of many blood tests to come back, my world was rocked. At night when I should have been sleeping a common refrain would repeat in my head: “Hey, I’m OK as long as my kids are healthy.” But I wouldn’t have that. My kid was not OK and never would be. There was no “cure.” How would I ever fi nd joy again with a child who would forever depend on care? My grief was sharp and deep and full of terror. I con-
stantly questioned what I had done, why this had happened to me, why had this happened to my baby. My baby. I would scour Facebook and look at photos of strangers’ families, all with healthy kids. Why was everyone else so lucky, and I was genetically cursed? The ultimate genetic lottery loser. It turned out this inherited gene came with a fun box of possible surprises to come. Neurological issues. Reproductive issues. A gift that can keep giving in all the worst ways. Owen was just a 20month-old baby, when I began to fear for his future. To try to think back and summarize the past decade is like trying to explain with just words what it’s like to be in the center of a hurricane. You can’t understand it unless you experience it.
Editor’s note: In March of 2010, Kathleen Quinn’s son was diagnosed with Fragile X, the leading inherited cause of genetic intellectual disability. Quinn documented the journey of her child’s disability diagnosis on a blog, of which portions were published in BayState Parent in 2011. Now ten years later, she writes with candor about the last decade -- raising a child with special needs along with life’s twists and turns. This personal essay contains profanity.
Even those closest to you don’t really get it; they may see glimpses of your life, but they never truly know what it’s like. No one feels the daily weight on your soul, your awareness that you will never have another carefree and restful day in your life, the ongoing internal anguish of fear that someone will harm your child no matter how old they get. After Owen’s initial diagnosis, I threw myself into advocacy and education. I went to DC to meet with legislators, attended national conferences, and participated in research studies. I chaired special ed committees on a local level and helped spread inschool awareness of disabilities. I also participated in monthly “support” groups, aka dinners out where I met other moms who also carried the gene that had been passed on to their children. Advocacy and connecting with other parents became my saving grace. Most importantly, I gained a network of women friends throughout the country and beyond. Within a few years of Owen’s diagnosis, I got divorced from his father. And then within a few more years, I remarried and gained two stepdaughters, each a year younger and a year older than my daughter. And then I had a baby. Just a few minor changes, ya know? Owen now had a new step dad, two stepsisters, and a tiny brother. Life became less about saving the world and more about the tiny personal world inside of the walls I lived in. Mom, stepmom, and a new baby boy. Owen continued to have a disability, but as what happens, life took over. It became less about “special needs parenting” and more about just parenting. All those unknowns became known and lived in. Future fears turned into current annoyances. Kids with disabilities are still kids, after all. And kids can be annoying AF. Our family of seven can reminisce about many horrifically embarrassing yet amusing anecdotes with Owen. Family memories have been
built of restaurant vomiting, accidental public nudity, or throwing a fi st at a stranger when overstimulated. Owen’s predilection for overeating used to result in the stimulation of his sensitive gag refl ex and resulted in profuse vomiting at the most inopportune times. There was that time he projectile puked his entire kid’s cheeseburger meal at Pub 99. I felt proud that I’d caught most of it in a bowl (I’d had lots of vomit experience by then), while his sisters perfected the art of disappearing. Like, I didn’t even see them leave, they were just gone. You’ve never seen a family move so fast as one that’s escaping the smell of vomit spreading throughout a restaurant. Check please, we will take the ice cream sandwiches to go. Owen’s disability is a unique experience that is shared by us all, and aff ects all aspects of the family. Sometimes it’s about divide and conquer, just like when children are very small. One takes the rest of the kids, and someone -- often me -- stays home with Owen. Owen gets a lot of time and attention, but he can also cause frustration and embarrassment for the kids (see vomiting story above). I’ve seen them protect him, take care of him, and be annoyed by him. I think I’m afraid to ask them how he’s aff ected their lives because I fear the negative. I never wanted him to be resented by the other kids, to feel he’s somehow ruined their lives. Owen has had a pretty typical relationship with his little brother, Jax. To Jax, Owen has always just been his big brother, and any diagnosis wasn’t understood until Jax was older. It has been heart healing to watch them together, although in recent years they have combined evil forces to drive their family members nuts (and to be honest, their plan is working.) They annoy each other, watch SpongeBob together, and steal each other’s toys. As I expected, I watched Jax grow to cognitively surpass his brother and begin to understand the ways Owen is limited. The other day he told me he would be able to “take care of Owen” if I needed
to leave the house. He’s already feeling responsible for his older brother, and that broke my heart a bit. But I reminded him that he got into plenty of trouble himself, and I didn’t think that at age 6 he was quite ready for any babysitting. How much have the kids lost due to life adjustments for Owen and how much more will they lose? Just typing that sentence made me enormously emotionally uncomfortable.
No one feels the daily weight on your soul, your awareness that you will never have another carefree and restful day in your life, the ongoing internal anguish of fear that someone will harm your child no matter how old they get.
At 13, and in an ABA (applied behavior analysis classroom) within a typical middle school, Owen has fi nally chilled on the projectile vomiting (hallelujah). He’s a sweet boy, very funny, and very caring. He loves his family, his teachers, his friends at school. He’s super polite and says please and thank you. He wants to know where everyone is at all times. He watches the same scenes of TV shows repeatedly….over...and over….until you lose your mind and he has every word memorized. He has a bizarre sense of intuition and often knows and recognizes things unsaid -when people are sad, when his
Play and learn together again!
177 Main Street, Acton discoveryacton.org BayStateParent | OCTOBER 2021 | 13
teacher was early in her pregnancy. He’s very in tune to emotions and one has to be careful to regulate around him because he’s an emotional sponge. But as a result of these things, he is sensory reactive. He has a lot of symptoms that people would typically associate with autism. Fragile X is caused by a chromosomal repeat which causes a necessary protein production to be shut off , and his brain is biologically diff erent from ours due to this lack of protein. So life for him is comparable to us living in a Chuck E Cheese: loud, noisy, crowded, annoying and hopefully weaponfree. Owen is easily overstimulated. He hates tons of direct eye contact. Detests the birthday song. He won’t let me crank my tunes in the car. He prefers to be alone, in his room with full possession and control of his remote (not dissimilar to many teens). Owen’s language is rapid and can be diffi cult to understand. He has perseverative language, which means he repeats himself. Like, millions of times per day. He has been destructive, aggressive, self harming, head banging, and environmental destroying (those in the know will understand those are school terms). I couldn’t go to school concerts because if he saw me he would run off stage and leave the gym. In his world, I’m out of context at school and do not belong there. Although I was hopeful, it turned out he felt the same for
the Special Olympics. They are wonderful events that really help you feel part of a larger local community, but when Owen saw me in the audience at the last one I went to, he fl opped on the fl oor, banged his head and told me to leave. I barely made it outside the doors before bursting into tears. We’ve had to give up a lot and now kicked out of the Special Olympics? That truly sucked. Finding places that accept us is priceless, and often, it’s the most unlikely places. Complete strangers can be so kind while family members still throw around the “R word’ which continues to give me a visceral reaction. One angel is Owen’s barber. Owen HATES haircuts. The noise, closeness, sensation of scissors -- fugetaboutit. Having to hold him down while the scissors came dangerously close to my face made me choose other battles and Owen had a surfer look for most of his young life. A few years ago, I heard about a new place called Axe to Grind in Worcester that was good with kids with disabilities. I walked into a place that looked more like a tattoo parlor than barbershop. All the barbers were tattooed dudes and crude rap lyrics blasted overhead. After so many horrifying experiences, I was extremely hesitant. But the owner, Justin, took Owen in his chair, and cajoled and joked and discussed Power Rangers. He was intrinsically aware of Owen’s sensory issues and he’s continued to cut his hair for the past two years.
Presenting puppets, princesses, pirates, storytelling and much more! Call today for more information All Ages. Birthday Parties, Schools, Fairs, Day Care Centers, Etc.
www.rosalitaspuppets.com 617-633-2832
WM-0000477413-01
14 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
learning and trying and failing. I hope they learn grace and acceptance. I hope I didn’t fuck them up that much. I hope to learn grace and acceptance for myself. I wish there was a magic eraser for the guilt that rules so many of us.
From left in the fi rst row, Dennis Hazelwood and wife Kathleen Quinn, Owen MacDougall, Derek MacDougall, Bridget MacDougall; and in the second row, Jax Hazelwood, Rachel Hazelwood and Lauren Hazelwood at the Old Stone Church on Sept. 12. CHRISTINE PETERSON/TELEGRAM & GAZETTE
Owen gets pissed, refuses, yells at Justin to stop, but I’ve never, not once, felt uncomfortable there. This one seemingly small victory gives me reassurance. There will be people that get Owen, and it
certainly won’t always be who or when you expect it. My friend calls them guardian angels. The kindness of strangers is a gift I never take for granted. I hope his siblings see that. That they learn to value people based on the strength of their character and their kindness rather than what they look like. I hope they learn to value those who lean in, who listen to Owen, who make an eff ort to peer into him as a real person and make a connection. I hope they learn to value all people, those considered on the outskirts of society, to see the person. I hope they learn that no one is perfect, including themselves, and to not have unrealistic expectations of themselves and others. That humans make mistakes, that their adults make mistakes and will continue to. I hope they see that I’m still
Owen’s dad and I help each other out (as we should), sharing care on days that aren’t “ours” to help with events or stress, or so we can take the other kids to loud, noisy, crowded places that Owen wouldn’t like (think Red Sox game or Spencer Fair). Asking for help with Owen is hard and scary, but most of all it’s being unable to let go. Not knowing who you can trust or who can handle him, or feeling guilty about putting people out and burdening them. Life with Owen comes with major adjustments. No fairs or concerts or crowds. Even taking him to stores is stressful because he can take off and I fi nd him in an aisle casually opening a package of Oreos and shoving four in his mouth. I don’t go to someone’s house where I can’t guarantee a quiet room for him to chill in, and I’m certainly not taking a spontaneous trip to a busy city or theme park or football game that’s full of unknowns and unpredictability. Some kids with Fragile X can do these things, usually by immensely hard work on the parent’s part and a kid’s genuine interest and ability to tolerate intense sensory stimulation. So do I feel guilty. Should I push more? Owen’s dad, Derek, agrees. “I feel guilty when I push him, and scared, because you don’t know what can go wrong,” he said. A few years ago, Owen hit a woman in line at an ice cream place, he recalled. “Maybe we stay home more due to my own fear.” Guilt is a huge recurring theme. We’re guilty either way. We could always be teaching and learning and exposing him to more. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we fail, and oftentimes we don’t even try due to our acceptance. We adjust. Most of the time it can be OK. It just becomes your life, and you have to accept and adjust, or
you’ll be pretty fucking angry. (Don’t get me wrong, anger is allowed, it’s just a sucky place to live in.) We caregivers have higher rates of depression, anxiety, acute stress, and shorter life spans. As special needs kids get older, the constant care can wear on parents. Sleep and patience are lacking while fear and anxiety are constant. Special needs parents are burnt out and resentful at the sacrifi ces we’ve made. Sometimes we’re ashamed at their levels of frustration we feel with parenting. Special needs kids are home more, and most will continue to live at home for the remainder of the parent’s lives. They won’t leave for college or get married and move away. Yes, we are resentful that relaxing golden years is an oxymoron. That we will forever live with heightened senses, listening for our kids in the middle of the night. For the rest of my life I will be in charge of Owen’s care. No Boca Raton retirement for me. Looking back on the past
ten years for this article was surprisingly painful rather than fondly nostalgic. Interspersed with the regular drudge of daily parenting were intense reminders that life was not normal, that every one of our kids has had to adjust to Owen’s disability, and that his behavior, anxiety and inability to function in some situations has made us avoid activities or functions. I reread my old articles. Truthfully, skimmed. I don’t like being reminded. I don’t like stirring up the memories at the bottom of the pond because I don’t like what comes to the top. Old pain. Old traumas. Old crazy incidents that we went through and survived. Old intrusive memories poking their way into the now and making me sad. Reminding me about past suff ering. There has been so much shit - both fi gurative and literal - that the only way through is forward. I don’t spend too much time in the past because it’s pointless. I am over feeling guilty for my genetic condition. After ten years, I’ve really just stopped talking to most
Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we fail, and oftentimes we don’t even try due to our acceptance. We adjust.
about my struggles with Owen, both emotionally and logistically. There’s a variety of responses when you confess what’s really hard in your life. The results? The wide eyed pity. The “I don’t know how you do it.” The “God only gives you what you can handle” bullshit. And sometimes, a complete pragmatic that grabs a pen and paper to help you brainstorm a grief schedule. So you stop talking. You don’t want the eyeballs or the pity or the annoyance, frankly. But do you know what the past ten years have been like? Hard. Fucking hard. Not easy. Not always fun, I tell you. Am I allowed to say this, or do I now feel guilty for admitting I’m not a special person who
was “chosen” to have a special child? The past ten years have been full of fear and frustration with grief, interspersed regularly, for fl avor. There’s been lots of guilt: I should be doing more, teaching more. What about the other kids; are they neglected? I should stop complaining, at least he’s physically healthy. At least he can feed himself and talk. See I love the guilt. Parents, we all love the guilt. Throw on a genetic disorder and you can really get the guilt ball rolling. One coping strategy for me - a life preserver, really - has been having friends with kids with disabilities. They are mentors and allies and warriors by my side. In the past ten years I have been abso-
lutely blessed with women friends with special needs kids. It is immeasurably helpful to have friends who get what it’s like to have our kids, particularly when you live with a genetic time bomb inside you. They’re people who get your dark humor and don’t look at you with pity or Bambi-eyed fear. Ten years is a lot, and while I would love to wrap it up in a bow with an optimistic life lesson for you, I cannot. That’s not how real life goes. But I do know that the past ten years were better than I expected them to be. A lot of my fears were never realized. And I’ve learned that even though this life can be hard, it can still be fi lled with joy and humor and light. I think we wait a lot in life. Waiting for things to happen, to get better. Waiting for weekends and summer and the days we imagine will somehow be easier. But life doesn’t get easier --people get stronger. Here’s to another ten years of growth, change, and accepting this unexpected, but beautiful life.
WANT A GREAT PLACE TO STAY FIT AND HEALTHY?
Join Now: First/Last Month Free!*
• Outdoor & Indoor Pool • Full Fitness Center • Weekly In/Outdoor Classes • Preschool/After School Programs • Sports, Swim, Summer Camp • Active Adult Programs • A+ COVID Safety Protocols * Special requires 12 month membership
WM-0000470634-01
Don’t just join a gym, join a community! 633 Salisbury St., Worcester, MA • worcesterjcc.org • 508.756.7109 Monica Maher, Membership Director x 236, mmaher@worcesterjcc.org BayStateParent | OCTOBER 2021 | 15
ON THE
agenda
OCTOBER ADVENTURES
16 6
things to do with the kids this month
GETTY IMAGES
Picture Yourself: A Celebration of Women in STEAM
Saturday, Oct. 2 Acton Who do you see when you picture a scientist? Do you see a stranger in a lab coat, or perhaps a family member, a friend, or a neighbor down the street? Do you see yourself when you picture a scientist? Discovery Museum’s newest exhibit, Picture Yourself: Women in DISCOVERY MUSEUM STEAM, features portraits of local female scientists painted by local female artists, with panels that describe each scientist’s work, hobbies, backgrounds, and childhood interests. Displayed throughout the Museum, together the portraits depict a range of ethnicities, backgrounds, research areas, professions, interests, and childhood memories. On Saturday, Oct. 2, guests can meet the local scientists and artists who are represented in the exhibit or who created these amazing works of art. Learn about their work, research, and interests, and discover why they fi nd science and art cool and exciting. They’ll answer your questions as they share what it’s like to be a scientist or artist. Tickets are $15.50 per person, members and children under 1 free. Advanced reservations are required to visit the Museum and can be made 10 days in advance at discoveryacton.org.
x Topsfi eld Fair
y Fruitlands Kite Festival
Friday Oct. 1 through Monday, Oct. 11 Topsfi eld This quintessential county fair dates back more than two centuries and off ers something for everyone -- from traditional agriculture to big entertainment. The fair features a carnival midway, grand parade, pumpkin weigh-off s, musical acts, demonstrations ranging from beekeeping to miniature trains, and of course, great food. Tickets are $11 weekdays, $15 weekends/holiday, or 3-day ticket $25. Children under 8 with an adult are free. For tickets and schedule visit topsfi eld.org.
v Maynard Fest
Saturday, Oct. 2 Maynard Thousands fl ock to downtown Maynard each year for this free family-friendly festival. An old fashioned street fair throughout Maynard’s downtown, the event includes sidewalk sales, a farmer’s market, vendors, music galore, and dozens of familyfriendly activities, including a trackless train ride. More details at assabetvalleychamber.org.
GETTY IMAGES
x Sensory Friendly Day at Broad Meadow Brook
MAYNARD FEST FACEBOOK
w Douglas Oktoberfest
GETTY IMAGES
Saturday, Oct. 2 Douglas Vendors line both sides of Main Street off ering crafts, food, games, and unique displays at one of the largest events in the Blackstone Valley. Watch the Weiner Dog race, hop on a train ride, enjoy bouncy houses, a car show, and more. The Beer Garden will feature ultra-local Purgatory Brewing with limited edition craft beers. The event will wrap up with a celebration of Douglas’ 275th birthday, complete with a custom artisan cake. More information at douglasoktoberfest.com.
16 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
Monday, Oct. 4 Worcester Join a sensory friendly experience from 10 a.m. to noon at Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center and Wildlife Sanctuary. Visitation at this time is typically light, and trails should be quiet. Staff will be available to orient you and answer your nature questions. Scavenger hunts for all ages will be available from staff . Explore the trails on your own and at your own pace. Pre-register if possible, and come anytime during the two hour time block. Details at massaudubon.org.
Sunday, Oct. 10 Harvard Take in the sweeping views from atop the Fruitlands hillside and celebrate fall as kites fi ll the sky. Make your own simple kite at the craft table, bring your own kite to fl y, and see the sky fi ll with colorful fl oats. Members of Kites Over New England will be there throughout the afternoon showcasing some high-fl ying kites. Free for Trustees members, $10 per car for nonmembers. Purchase a parking pass in advance of your visit. Space is limited and pre-registration highly encouraged at thetrustees.org.
GETTY IMAGES
GETTY IMAGES
x AppleFest at Wachusett Mountain Saturday and Sunday, Oct. 16-17 Princeton This popular fall celebration features over 100 craft exhibitors, a farmers’ market, kids entertainment and peak fall foliage viewing from the SkyRide. Music, apple pie baking and eating contests, food trucks, and plenty of family entertainment is in store. Check out live shows featuring everything from axe loggers to circus entertainment. Applefest also features an Oktoberfest Celebration complete with authentic German cuisine, a multitude of tasty beers in the Beer Garden and live music. Advance tickets $13 for adults, $6 for kids 6-12; $14/$9 at the door. More at wachusett.com.
v Hike with Goats at Chestnut Hill Farm Saturdays in October Southborough Take a leisurely hike through Chestnut Hill Farm’s beautiful grounds and trails, accompanied by one or more of its friendly goats! Goats are naturally playful and curious creatures. They love to follow the leader and stick together, which makes them perfect hiking companions. Your reservation gets you and your group an hour-long experience with a friendly goat on its own harness and leash. You will fi rst learn how to walk with the goat, and then you’ll be accompanied by a farm staff member as you and your new goat friend make your way around the farm and its trails. Member family $76; nonmember family $95. Preregistration is required at thetrustees.org.
v Harvest Festival Saturday and Sunday, Oct. 16-17 Sturbridge This annual tradition on the Sturbridge Town Common and grounds of the Publick House Historic Inn includes local crafters, artisans, live music, entertainment, specialty food vendors, a mini food truck festival, and farm fresh harvests. Be sure to check out perennial favorite, the Scarecrow Contest at the Publick House. Details at cmschamber.com.
LEARNING FIRST CHARTER PUBLIC SCHOOL NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR THE 20��-202� SCHOOL YEAR Learning First Charter Public School (formerly Seven Hills Charter Public School) is a free independent public school that offers challenging academic programs for children in grades K through 8.
OTHER IMPORTANT FEATURES ARE:
GETTY IMAGES
w Owl Prowl at Fruitlands Wednesday, Oct. 27 Harvard Take to the trails of Fruitlands Museum to see who-who-who might be out and about in the dark winter woods. Join local naturalist and educator, Laurie Nehring, on this family friendly guided Owl Prowl. Start with a short presentation about wintertime nocturnal animals and how to call in the owls, thenl venture out to see if you can call any owls. This program involves night-time hiking on a moderate hiking trail with some uphill climbs and uneven terrain. Recommended for ages 7 and up. Members $15, nonmembers $25. Pre-registration is required at thetrustees.org.
v Hay Rides at Appleton Farms Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays in October Ipswich Experience the beautiful scenery, crisp air and changing and vibrant colors of Appleton Farms in the fall with a hay ride across the idyllic property. Rides depart every twenty minutes from 4-7 p.m. Space is limited, pre-registration is strongly encouraged. Member adults $8, member child $4; nonmembers $10/$5. More at thetrustees.org.
GETTY IMAGES
• Two outstanding educators in each • A commitment to family involvement K-5 core classroom • An appreciation of diversity • An emphasis on college and career readiness • Comprehensive programs for students • An enriched curriculum including character with special needs or English language education, integrated arts and technology learning needs Applications are available in our Main Office and online at learningfirstcharter.org starting September 1,202� Application deadline: March �, 202�. Lottery will be held on March �, 202�. Location: Learning First Charter Public School, 51 Gage Street Worcester MA
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES FOR CERTIFIED TEACHERS WM-0000476165-01
GETTY IMAGES
GETTY IMAGES
The Learning First Charter School is a tuition-free public school serving Worcester’s children. With no admission test, the school serves a student body that is representative of Worcester’s diversity. Learning First Charter Public School does not discriminate based on gender, race, religion, gender identity, cultural heritage, linguistic background, political beliefs, physical or mental ability, sexual orientation, marital status, or national origin. In the event that there are more applicants than seats, a lottery will be used to select students.
BayStateParent | OCTOBER 2021 | 17
x Fall Fun at Powisset Farm Saturdays and Sundays in October Dover Enjoy a classic New England fall day at this historic farm. The weekend event features apple cider, hayrides, a climbing haystack, live music, scenic walking trails, a Storywalk, fall scavenger hunt and a visit to see the barnyard animals. Indulge in farm fresh, wood-fi red pizza with an array of toppings, hot and cold cider, wine and craft beer, and other seasonal treats available for purchase. The farm store will be open and full of autumn produce and local products to take home. Member adult $12, member child $9; nonmembers $20/$15. Preregistration is required. Children under 2 are free and do not need a ticket. More at thetrustees.org.
WEST END CREAMERY
x West End Fall Festival Friday nights and weekends through Oct. 31 Whitinsville Unplug at this 28-acre farm just down the road from Purgatory Chasm. For one general admission price, $15.95 per person (kids under 36” free) you’ll get access to all the fall festival fun, including wagon rides, pedal karts, barnyard jump, tractor tire pile, and of course, the corn maze. This year’s maze celebrates the inaugural Worcester Red Sox baseball season. Bring your fl ashlight to navigate the corn maze after dark on Friday nights. Mini golf, pony rides, and pumpkins are also off ered for additional charge. For more info, go to westendcreamery.com/fallfestival.
GETTY IMAGES
Walktober 2021 Adventures For The Whole Family! Sept. 18 - Oct. 31 National Heritage Corridor
18 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
Visit TheLastGreenValley.org or call 860-774-3300
GETTY IMAGES
GETTY IMAGES
y Fall Fun at Chestnut Hill Sundays in October Southborough Celebrate all things autumn at picturesque Chestnut Hill Farm. Have an apple cider, hop on a hayride, climb the haystack and listen to live music. Explore walking trails and a Storywalk, and visit goats, chickens and sheep. Indulge in yummy food from The Grub Guru, wine and craft beer, and other seasonal treats available for purchase. Stop in the farm store for seasonal products. Member adult $12, member child $9; nonmembers $20/$15. Pre-registration is required. Children under 2 are free and do not need a ticket. More at thetrustees.org.
x Davis Mega Maze, BBQ & Brews Weekends in October Sterling Making your way through a corn maze with miles of pathways. Enjoy family activities in the courtyard, where you can shoot corn cannons, zoom down giant tube slides, soar along a zipline, and more. Join in games like adventure laser tag, human foosball or giant farm volleyball. A petting farm and jump pad are perfect for little ones. All the fun is set to live music, with a rotating lineup of local talent appearing every weekend. Close out the day warming up by a campfi re (you can even rent a private fi repit for your family!). Details are at davismegamaze.com.
y Festival of Illumination at Southwick’s Zoo Daily Mendon Southwick’s Zoo is illuminated by breathtaking custom-built exhibits consisting of hundreds of Chinese lanterns meticulously handcrafted from silk, steel, and environmentally friendly LED lights through January. Travel the globe through these handcrafted Chinese Lanterns, from the African Savannahs to the Amazon rainforest, the Great Barrier Reef and fascinating regions in between. Advance ticket purchase is recommended. More information is at www.festivalofi llumination.com.
SOUTHWICK’S ZOO
THE
list
10
Not-so-spooky
THE TRUSTEES
HALLOWEEN HAPPENINGS
The Incredible Naumkeag Pumpkin Show STOCKBRIDGE Explore the famous gardens at Naumkeag, a gilded-age cottage with lush grounds in the heart of the southern Berkshires. This daily celebration of autumn features over 1,500 jack-olanterns, hundreds of mums, pumpkins and countless gourds – most of which were grown right at Naumkeag. The Pumpkin Show in a one-way path through the property. Hot cider and fall treats will be available for sale on-site. Advanced purchase of timed tickets is required, Tickets range from $10-$20 and can be purchased at thetrustees.org.
Pumpkintown USA EAST HAMPTON, CT
GETTY IMAGES
Haunted Happenings SALEM This storied seaport hosts the street fairs, performances, and special events for the annual Haunted Happenings series, which runs all month long. From kid-friendly walking tours to museums, sweets and treats, and more, you’ll find plenty to thrill the whole family. The main event, the Haunted Happenings Marketplace, brings vendors, mural pop up photo stations, street performers and more to the historic Salem common. You’ll also want to check out the Wicked Labyrinth, an indoor, walk-through show of over 1,000 intricately carved pumpkins. Magic shows, children’s tea parties, and psychic fairs are among the rotating daily offerings. Some events require tickets or reservations. All the fun culminates on Halloween night, where music, performances, special surprises take place throughout downtown. Costumes preferred! Find out more at hauntedhappenings.org. ite t ebs s Trus . w r d u ov e ck o ial Ne t. & N e h c c C pe n O S i for inars b e w
This kid-friendly Halloween village with lots of “nonscary” seasonal fun. Stroll through Pumpkintown Village where over 70 pumpkin people and animals hang out at a church, post office, saloon and more. Guests can also PUMPKINTOWN USA FACEBOOK enjoy a drive-though journey through the Pumpkintown Forest in the comfort and safety of your own personal vehicle. On this scenic one-mile drive you’ll see over 30 Pumpkinhead people and their animal companions at home in their woodland dwellings. Reservations required, prices TBA. Find out more at pumpkintown.com.
We’re Here to Help Whether your loved one with special needs is an adult or a child, we can help with:
• Special Needs Planning • Advocacy
• Transition Planning & Adult Services • Guardianship & Alternatives
Contact Frederick M. Misilo, Jr. at fmisilo@fletchertilton.com
Art by Dominic Killiany, an artist living with autism.
WORCESTER | FRAMINGHAM | BOSTON | CAPE COD | PROVIDENCE 508.459.8000 | FletcherTilton.com BayStateParent | OCTOBER 2021 | 19
Roger Williams Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular PROVIDENCE, RI See Roger Williams Park Zoo’s pathways transform into a Halloween wonderland. The Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular is open daily through Oct. 31. This outdoor gallery of more than 5,000 illuminated jack-o-lanterns is displayed along the zoo’s beautiful Wetlands Trail. You can even get a bird’s eye view of these glittering gourds from Soaring Eagle Zip Ride. Check online at rwpzoo.org/jols for details on sensory-friendly nights, designed for those with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and sensory processing differences and their families, or Family Fun Nights with music and costumed characters. Tickets, which range from $14-$21, are available online only and are for timed entry.
Tricks, treats, experiments, crafts, drinks, and spooky fun are all part of this October tradition in the heart of Boston. The annual Pumpkin Float at the Boston Common Frog Pond features floating pumpkins, luminaries and fun family activities. The free event takes place Friday, Oct. 15. Bring your own carved pumpkin and watch it float in the Frog Pond along with hundreds of other illuminated jack-o-lanterns. Carved and decorated jack-o’-lanterns must be 8-inches in diameter, or smaller, and already hollowed out or they will not float. While the pond fills up with glowing jack-o-lanterns, enjoy music, refreshments and children’s activities from 5-8 p.m. Attendees of all ages are encouraged to wear their Halloween costumes.
THAT’S LOOKING REAL GOOD.
Are you ready for a dramatically improved experience on your next crown? Utilizing CEREC technology, we are able to provide same-day porcelain restorations that happen in hours, rather than days - no more temporaries, no messy impressions, no more multiple visits!
Now in its 20th year – Boo at the Zoo will satisfy all your fall, Halloween and cool weather cravings. Dress the kids in costume and enjoy campus-wide daytime trick-or-treating and all Buttonwood Park Zoo has to offer. Enjoy a socially-distanced walk-through experience with some twists and turns along the way. The slightly spooky theme includes mazes, a scavenger hunt, free carousel rides, and endless photo opportunities -including a photo costume contest. Get up-close meet and greets with the Zoo’s Animal Ambassadors, and enjoy festive, fall food like kettle corn and apple cider. Families are encouraged to bring their own “trick or treat” bags. All the fun is on Saturdays and Sundays, Oct. 16-31. Have little kids? Check out Baby Boo, geared towards children 5 and under, on Friday, Oct. 29. Tickets ragen from $8-$17, kids under 2 are free. Advance purchase is suggested at bpzoo.org.
Phantoms & Fires STURBRIDGE
Frightful Fridays at Gore Place WALTHAM
• Same-day restorations • Beautiful, natural appearance • Stronger, more precise fit • Relaxing patient experience
Dr. Salman Khanani 1084 Main St., Holden | khananidental.com |
@khananidental
*Some exclusions may apply: patient must be a candidate for dental implants and some patients may require comprehensive treatment plans to meet their individual needs. Special does not include the fee for extractions, bone grafts, sinus augmentation or the need for a surgical guide
Call 508-829-4575 to book your appointment today! Call 508-829-4575 to book your appointment today!
Implant, Cosmetic and Family Dentistry
20 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
Boo at the Zoo NEW BEDFORD
BOSTON COMMON FROG POND
SAME DAY CROWNS ARE HERE! DONE IN 1 VISIT. NO MORE TEMPORARY CROWNS.
WM-SPAD0625114016
GETTY IMAGES
GORE PLACE FACEBOOK
ROGER WILLIAMS PARK ZOO
Frog Pond Pumpkin Float BOSTON
Enjoy spooky stories (but nothing too scary!) at this annual Halloween celebration held Oct. 15, 22 and 29. The 45-minute program, which features five stories told outside in the Century Tent, occurs twice per evening at 6:30 p.m. and again at 7:45 p.m. This program is for adults and children, ages 6 and up. Please, no younger children. Cost is $21 for general admission, $19 for members, and $16 for students 12 and under, and tickets are available at goreplace.org.
Head to Old Sturbridge Village for a slightly spooky nighttime experience. Phantoms and Fire, which runs Oct. 13-31, gives you the chance to explore the outdoor living museum after hours, from 5-8:30 p.m. You’ll find spooky delights from bats and bonfires to cauldrons and candy, from ghosts and guitars. The short stories and poems of Edgar Allan Poe come alive, “as told by the characters who have just witnessed them occur,” according to OSV. Kiddos can gather clues throughout the Village and present them on the way out for a bag of treats. Feel free to wear your costume! Cost is $20 for adults and $12 for youth. Pre-registration is required at osv.org.
OLD STURBRIDGE VILLAGE
Pumpkin Walk at Choate Park MEDWAY
STONE ZOO
The path along the Choate Park pond will be lit with jack-o’-lanterns at the return of the annual pumpkin walk. This fun, festive, family-oriented event at the historic park takes place from 7-9 p.m. on Friday, Oct. 29. Community-carved pumpkins feature diverse designs -- from the typical jack-o’-lantern faces carved by little ones to elaborate patterns by local artists. A concession stand will sell treats and cider at the free event. Those coming to the walk are encouraged to bring a flashlight because it is typically dark during the walk.
GETTY IMAGES
Boo at the Zoo & Zoo Howl STONEHAM/BOSTON Children are invited to trick-or-treat among the animals at Stone and Franklin Park Zoos. Stone Zoo in Stoneham hosts Boo at the Zoo Saturday and Sunday, Oct. 23-24, and Franklin Park Zoo hosts Zoo Howl the following weekend, Oct. 30-31. At both events, thrills, chills, and animals lurk around every corner on the trick-or-treat trail, while other haunted happenings include mystery animal encounters, costume contests and a scavenger hunt with prizes. Zoo educators will chat about creepy crawly critters, as well as about the importance of purchasing treats made with sustainable palm oil this Halloween. Throughout the day watch many of the animals receive pumpkins. Stop by the Sun-Maid booth on either Sunday to sample some tasty snacks. Guests who bring in an unopened Sun-Maid product to the admission booth will receive a free kid’s daytime admission (one per entry) ticket to the Zoo. Sun-Maid will then donate these products to the Greater Boston Food Bank. Online reservations are required for admission tickets at zoonewengland.org. General admission $20.95/ $22.95, kids $13.95/ $15.95, children under and members free.
BayStateParent | OCTOBER 2021 | 21
feature Helping your teen get enough sleep There are several things you can do right now to help ensure your teens get the sleep they need. Set a regular bedtime routine. Teens should go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time each day. It can also be helpful to allow your teen to sleep in a little later on the weekends to catch up a bit. But don’t let your adolescent sleep in too late. Otherwise, your teen will likely stay up later as well. This makes it difficult to fall into an early bedtime routine during the week.
HELP YOUR TEEN
SLEEP
Teens live in a different time zone biologically Kimberly Blaker
Teen sleep habits are an ongoing frustration and battle for countless parents. Many teens stay up into the wee hours of the night, then struggle to wake up during the week for school and sleep through the day on weekends. But sleep is crucial to adolescents’ wellbeing. School-age kids between ages 6 and 13 need nine to eleven hours of sleep per night, according to the National Sleep Foundation. Teens, from ages 14 to 17, need eight to ten hours. Yet, studies fi nd only a small percentage of teens are getting the necessary sleep. The problem, as experts point out, is that during puberty, teens’ circadian rhythm shifts. In earlier childhood, kids begin feeling sleepy around 8 or 9 p.m. But during adolescence, sleepiness doesn’t set in until around 10 or 11 p.m. This is called “sleep phase delay’ and is likely caused by a delay in the release of the body’s melatonin. Sleep phase delay, however, isn’t the only reason teens don’t get enough sleep. Increased demands on their time, ranging from additional household responsibilities and homework to extracurricular activities, socializing with friends, and media use also contribute to teens’ shortage of sleep. So what’s a parent to do? In a perfect world, all high schools would adjust the school day to begin and end at least an hour or so later each day. This would make it easier for teens to get the sleep they need and would benefi t students signifi cantly. A 3-year study of 9,000 students found in high schools that start the day at 8:30 a.m. or later students reap several benefi ts.
22 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
First, 60% of the students were able to get at least eight hours of sleep per night during the school week. Those gaining the extra rest also had lower rates of depression and caff eine use and were at lower risk for substance use. These students had better academic performance and achievement test scores as well and a reduction in tardiness. Also, in communities where schools shifted the start time to 8:55 a.m., teen traffi c accidents were signifi cantly reduced. If you’d like to see later start times implemented at your teen’s school, talk to other parents in your district about the teen sleep dilemma and share with them the benefi ts of later school hours. Then create a concerted eff ort to take the issue up with the school board. Keep in mind, this is a longer-term solution that won’t likely be implemented until at least the following school year. But once implemented, it’ll improve your teen’s chance for success in future years and pave the way for other kids who will soon be entering high school.
Remove media from bedrooms. Televisions, computers, music, and cell phones serve as distractions to keep kids awake late into the night. Have your teen remove all media from the bedroom before bedtime. If your teen uses a phone alarm, replace it with an alarm clock. Restrict caffeine. Soda, coffee, and energy drinks late in the evening impede sleep. Set a curfew of at least two to three hours before bedtime for drinking these beverages. Keep the bedroom cool. Being too warm at night interrupts sleep. Set the thermostat to 3 degrees cooler at night than during the daytime. Just make sure your teen has plenty of blankets to maintain comfort. Eat some carbs before bed. Have your teen eat a light, high carbohydrate snack before bedtime. Fruit and white grains are generally high in carbohydrates. Just make sure your teen doesn’t overdo it since feeling stuffed can also make it difficult to fall asleep. Practice relaxation. Have your teen start winding down 30 to 60 minutes before bedtime. Your teen should do something relaxing, such as read, listen to calm music, or watch a light TV show. Better yet, see if you can get your teen to practice meditation or yoga. Restrict work hours. Teen jobs often require working the late shift. So during the school year, restrict the hours your teens can work both on weeknights and weekends so they can get their z’s. Take a hot bath. This is a good way for your teen to relax before bed. It can also provide your adolescent an extra 20 minutes of sleep in the mornings by getting the bath or shower out of the way the night before. Seek medical advice. If you’ve tried everything and your teen still isn’t getting enough sleep or feels sleepy during the day, talk to your doctor. Several sleep disturbances such as insomnia, sleep apnea, or a sleep movement disorder can contribute to the problem. Certain mental health conditions, such as ADHD, depression, and bipolar disorder, can also lead to sleep disturbances.
Take Five with
singer-songwriter Lindsay Munroe
Munroe's 9-year-old daughter, Mem, sings on the album. PHOTOS COURTESY LINDSAY MUNROE
Amanda Collins Bernier Bay State Parent Magazine | USA TODAY NETWORK
M
edford-based singer-songwriter Lindsay Munroe teamed up with legendary children’s music icon Raffi for her second kid’s album, “Frogs and Birds.” The album, released in late summer, is the pair’s third collaboration since meeting backstage at a Raffi concert in two years ago in Worcester . Munroe brought her younger daughter, Mem, to a Raffi concert at the Hanover Theatre in 2019. Backstage, they hit it off so well that they began a musical collaboration. Last year, Raffi ’s label, Troubadour Music, released Munroe’s album, “I Am Kind.” Raffi , the Canadian children’s entertainer known for songs such as “The More We Get Together” and “Baby Beluga”, performed as a backup vocalist and instrumentalist on the album. Last summer, Munroe and Raffi joined with cellist Yo-Yo Ma to release the single, “For All You Do,” a song of gratitude for essential workers benefi ted Direct Relief. On “Frogs and Birds” Raffi again joins Munroe on many songs. As a mom of three children with autism, Munroe is a passionate advocate for diversity and inclusion. Her deep sensitivity to children with special needs informs the songs on the new album, which she and Raffi created for all children, but especially for those who are neurodiverse, as well as for their families and teachers who embrace inclusion in the classroom. We chatted with the Massachusetts mom about music, working with Raffi , and raising kids with autism. 1. Compared to “I Am Kind”, what’s different about this newest collaboration with Raffi?
“I Am Kind” and “Frogs and Birds” are similar in that they are songs I’ve written about kindness and social-emotional learning. I would say “Frogs and Birds” is more of a collaboration with Raffi . He has three original songs on the new album and we sing many du-
ets. It’s an honor to make music with him; he’s such an icon in children’s music and has been a wonderful musical mentor to me. “Frogs and Birds” came about when Bridges Learning System contacted me and asked me to write songs to go along with their curriculum lessons. I love their curriculum and the team of women working for the company have
been a joy to work with. I hope all kids, including neurodiverse kids and families, will learn from these songs with themes like being fl exible and easy-going, being an ally, and being kind. 2. You have three children with autism. How has music been important to them over the years?
We are a very musical family. All of my kids play ukulele so we play songs together all the time, it’s a great way to connect. Music is also a great teaching tool. It’s my favorite way to teach social skills and social-emotional lessons. 3. Some of the songs on your new album were crafted specifi cally for neurodiverse kids. What are the messages in these songs?
The title song, “Frogs and Birds” is a song about “theory of mind.” I wanted to write a song that teaches kids not everyone has the same thoughts, likes and dislikes as you. I wrote a fun duet about frogs and birds, green and blue and how it’s kind to think of others and ask them what they like. Another song on the album talks about being fl exible and easy-going, while “Faces Show Feelings” talks about decoding the
meaning behind facial expressions. 4. “Frogs and Birds” is a duet with your 9-year-old daughter. Do your kids collaborate with you writing songs? Do you seek their feedback?
It is very special to have my daughter, Mem, join me on this song! Her voice is so lovely and we love singing together. I do seek my kids’ feedback -- I always run my songs by them. They will give me ideas for rhymes and lines, they love to be involved with my music. I love having their voices on my albums and it’s such a joy recording with them. 5. Aside from Raffi, is there another artist you dream of working with?
It has been such a dream come true working with Raffi , and an honor recording with Yo-Yo Ma last year. I would love to work with Sharon and Bram. When I was a kid I watched “The Elephant Show,” listened to their music and saw them live in concert. I remember watching Sharon sing, thinking to myself “that’s what I want to do when I grow up.” It would be a full circle moment to record a song with them!
BayStateParent | OCTOBER 2021 | 23
Introducing our new IVF Center. No matter how your path to pregnancy turns, we’re prepared for every step and every stage.
The path to pregnancy can be an overwhelming maze of emotions. You need the right team with the right capabilities. That’s why we’re pleased to announce the addition of our on-site IVF Center to round out our robust fertility services — ensuring convenient, state-of-the-art care, close to home. Reach out today to schedule your appointment.
For appointments, call 855-UMASS-MD (855-862-7763) or visit umassmemorial.org/IVF. 24 | OCTOBER 2021 | BayStateParent
