baystateparent magazine May 2019

PRICELESS

Massachusetts’ Premier Magazine For Families Since 1996

MAY 2019

GET OUT! LOCAL SPRINGTIME FUN RELISHING THE LITTLE-BIG STUFF GIFT IDEAS FOR EVERY MOM

soldier, mom Juggling Military and Motherhood

2 MARCH2019

BAYSTATEPARENT 3

contents MAY 2019 VOLUME 23

Power of

4 MAY2019

NUMBER 13

WOMEN

features 28

Mother’s Day Gift Guide

30

Soldier, Mom: Mothers Who Serve

34

Kickin’ It In Adult Dance Class

35

Finding Your Tribe: Today’s Moms Turn to Meet-Ups for Support

36

Surviving the Fourth Trimester

40

The Little-Big Stuff: Finding the Extraordinary within the Ordinary

in every issue 6 8 9 20 23 34 42 44 45 47

Momma to the Max Herding Goofballs On the Agenda The List Bites Our Fave Four Very Special People Cyber Savvy Mom Finally Forever Take Eight with Raffi

BAYSTATEPARENT 5

momma to the

baystateparent

MAX

president PAUL M. PROVOST associate publisher KATHY REAL BENOIT 508-767-9525 kbenoit@gatehousemedia.com

My Mommyhood Identity Crisis There’s not much to see at baystateparent’s Worcester-based office. The wide open floor is lined by conference rooms and dotted with beige-colored cubicles. Practical?

Yes. Personal? Not quite.

So recently, when custom, colorful name plaques started popping up around the office, they were

CREATIVE editor in chief AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER 508-767-9526 acollins@gatehousemedia.com creative director SHIELA NEALON 508-793-9121 shiela.nealon@telegram.com

ADVERTISING sales manager JEREMY WARDELL 508-767-9574 jwardwell@gatehousemedia.com account executive KATHY PUFFER 508-767-9544 kpuffer@gatehousemedia.com

8

100 Front Street, 5th Floor Worcester, MA 01608 baystateparent is published monthly and is distributed free of charge throughout Massachusetts.

talking Back “Eat all your food! There are starving children in China!”

— Sally G.

“Look with your eyes, not with your hands.”

— Julie Y.

“Because I said so.”

— Katie L.

hard to miss. The cartoon characters, race cars, and vacation scenes were refreshing to see, breathing some needed personality into the otherwise drab space.

“I’ll make one for you,” said Don, one of my favorite graphic designers and the man behind this little office facelift. “What do you want on yours?”

I told him I wasn’t sure. I need to think about it.

“Well what do you like?” he asked.

I wracked my brain for an answer to this simple question. What do I like?

My son? Being a mom? Taking Max for walks in his wagon? Eight rare hours of uninterrupted sleep?

And there, seated in my cubicle in the middle of a Tuesday, I had an unsettling realization: I had no other way of defining myself outside motherhood. Somehow, in the last yearand-a-half, I’d forgotten who I was aside from Max’s mom. Somehow, I’d forgotten what I even like.

I was mindlessly scrolling Instagram recently when I came across this quote: You were someone before you were their mom -- and she still matters. It struck a chord in me. Of course I was someone before Max came along, but I’m not sure she even still exists. When we cross that line into motherhood our lives change -- we change -- in countless ways. You don’t have a baby and emerge on the other side of it the same.

The transition from woman to mother is an experience I don’t think anyone can really prepare for. Going from non-parent to parent is undoubtedly one of the biggest shifts your life

Amanda

What’s something your parents used to say that you swore you never would… but now, as a parent, you say all the time?

I would say “I’m hungry” and she would say, “Hi, hungry.

I’m mom.” Yep… I totally do that too.

— Christine J.

“OK… you know everything.”

— Kelly F.

“Do you live in a barn?”

— Rhonda J.

“When I was your age…” Fill in the blank.

— CM W

‘We’ll see…” The ultimate supervague non-committal answer.

— Danielle J.

“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”

Join the conversation at Facebook.com/baystateparent.

6 MAY2019

can take, and I’m not just talking sleepless nights or diaper blowouts.

Becoming a mom is without question the best thing I have ever done, and in many ways, motherhood has dug deep inside me to unearth parts of my soul that I never even knew were there. But at the same time, the job of “mom” is so non-stop, so demanding and so consuming, that it sometimes seems to have replaced my identity, rather than add to it. And I know I’m not alone in this mommyhood identity crisis.

This is our annual Women’s Issue, an edition that looks at female needs, health, relationships and more, celebrating the virtues and power that are uniquely women’s. For sure, one of the most powerful things about women is our ability to become mothers, but as you read about women who have followed their dreams across the world, moms who take me-time to “shake it,” or ladies who lean on each other for support, I hope you’ll see the many facets that make women -- and indeed moms -- so amazing.

This month, as we celebrate moms and motherhood, I’m hoping to take some time to get better acquainted with post-Max me.

I’m not the same woman I was two years ago; motherhood has spurred so much growth I think there’s stretch marks on my soul. But I am realizing -- or remembering -- that I am more than his mama. Maybe I’ll even be able to figure out what I want on my office name tag.

— Betty H.

COVER PHOTO BY

Barnes Portrait Design barnesportraitdesign.com ON THE COVER

Kaila and Easton Kelly

BAYSTATEPARENT 7

Herding

Goofballs

To Grandmother’s House We Go

BY JOSH FARNSWORTH, ILLUSTRATION BY KIRA BEAUDOIN

Stop me if you heard this one before.

“Just wait until they’re older.”

8 MAY2019

I’m fresh out of time machines, so it seems waiting is the only thing I can do at this point.

Or this…

“You should sleep when the baby sleeps.”

In short intervals throughout the day? It’s the dream, really.

Or this…

“All s/he is going to do is eat, sleep and poop.”

Hey, I do that, too, but you don’t hear me bragging about it.

The early stages of parenthood are littered with clichés, unsolicited advice and stories of woe from those who have had children and lived to tell their tale.

It’s a predictably-worded rite of passage a parent must go through.

But just as predictably, there is usually a person on the other end of the message trying to offer help. While clichés are a writer’s nemesis, they only get to be called “clichés” because of the tried and tested truth they contain.

There are a few people in my life, however, I will always actively solicit the advice from—cliché or not.

My favorite and most useful statement that I still play in my head came from my mom…

“You never stop worrying about them, because you’ll never care about something so much.”

It’s a reminder that sounds like an oxymoron: stop worrying so much about worrying so much. Moreover, it’s a mission

statement on caring about people. And there is nobody on this planet that understands and demonstrates high-level caring like my mom.

With May being baystateparent’s Women’s Issue, you’ll no doubt read about some truly extraordinary women who transcend what it means to be a spectacular human being.

They are heroes I hope you draw inspiration from.

Suzanne Farnsworth, my mom, happens to be where I draw much of mine.

My mom is the embodiment of selflessness. As a career elementary school teacher, she loves being able to connect with kids and help them build confidence and achieve—even when they believe they cannot.

For the record, she is not a “cliché machine” when it comes to advice or anecdotes.

She’s someone who listened, paid attention and then gave every ounce of herself to helping us kids (Farnsworth and schoolyard alike).

She lends her time, money, energy, etc. to others with little consideration for personal setbacks. She is kind, has a big heart and lives with such humility that she will be 100 percent dismissive that anyone, anywhere is writing about her.

Seriously guys, I am in big trouble once the ink dries on this column.

These days, she is also starring in another perfect role for her: grandma to my goofballs.

There is no reaction of

excitement greater than when it is announced to them we will be spending the day at grandma and papa’s house.

Few places on earth hold as much enchantment as “grandma and papa’s house.”

Grandma’s house is a mystical place where the toy chest seems to increase by the visit and the menu is always stocked fresh with ice cream frappes.

Grandma’s house is where arts and crafts projects my kids yearn to do often spring from every corner of every room. And, where grandma comes out 14 different colors, tired, but without a single complaint on the other side.

Grandma’s house is where the scraped up knees seem to heal faster and the perfect book bursts open and engorges my kids’ attention, just when they are looking for their world to open up and get amazing.

Grandma’s house is condition-less, judgment-free home.

And while my kids get to sit in the nice comfy chairs on the deck every summer, I have the real front row seat to something even better: the perfect resource for an anxious, trial-by-error dad. (Hint: He’s the guy on the byline of this column.)

There are way too many things to mention here that I have learned just watching her interact with my kids. But one of the biggest takeaways still rings in my head every time being a parent frustrates/confuses/overwhelms/otherwise

confounds me: “You never stop worrying about them, because you’ll never care about something so much.”

In other words, lead with love, because that’s how you truly feel about those goofballs.

Always.

Being a mom is a badge she never takes off. And if she could take it off, she never would.

It can be a thankless job, but no one does it with greater zeal.

And to that point, as the ink dries on another column, let me just say, thanks mom.

Thank you for always leading by example.

Thank you for helping me be the best parent I can be (Note: My dad is pretty awesome when it comes to this as well).

Thank you for caring so much.

You build my confidence and see what I can achieve as a dad—even when I believe I cannot.

Josh Farnsworth is son of Suzanne Farnsworth, a husband, father of goofballs Cooper and Milo, and award-winning writer and columnist living in Worcester.

He can be reached for column ideas at josh. farnsworth@ yahoo.com.

on the

agenda • FACTS & FREEBIES • MAY’S ADVENTURES • THE LIST

BAYSTATEPARENT 9

on the

agenda

facts and freebies

monday

tuesday

wednesday

1 {FACT}

In honor of Mother Goose Day, revisit some beloved childhood fairytales with your children today!

6 {FACT}

7

13

14 {FREEBIE}

Look up! Before sunrise watch for Eta Aquarid meteors to streak the nighttime sky from about 3 a.m. until dawn. In a dark sky, you could see up to 20 to 40 meteors per hour.

20 27 {FACT} Did you know poppies are the official flower of Memorial Day? Red poppies are a symbol of remembrance, and it’s a tradition to wear them in honor of those who have died in war.

10 MAY2019

This Sweet Peas in a Pod necklace is a beautiful keepsake for moms or grandmothers.

Cast in fine pewter, each “pod” is filled with freshwater pearls and set on a sterling silver ball chain. Go to our Facebook page today for the chance to win this beautiful piece ($44, thegrommet.com).

thurs

2

8 {FREEBIE} 9 Perfect for spring, this adorable kid-size ladybug Big Apple Buddies Backpack by Built NY has zippered compartments, side pockets, padded adjustable shoulder straps, and a sturdy grab handle on top. Head to Facebook for the chance to win one ($25 value)!

15 22 {FREEBIE} The Discovery Museum and its Discovery Woods accessible outdoor nature playscape (with a giant treehouse!) blend the best of STEAM learning on a beautiful campus abutting acres of conservation land. Explore science and nature through play -- enter today to win tickets to this awesome Acton museum!

16{FACT Hey mama, need a little treat? How about a Blushing Mimosa for National Mimosa Day? Combine 2 cups orange juice, 1 cup pineapple juice and 2 tablespoons grenadine. Fill champagne glasses halfway with mixture, then top with champagne.

30

s

Starting on the date the prize appears, go to our page to enter for your chance to win.

sday

friday

3 {FREEBIE}

Celebrate Mother’s Day at the annual Duckling Day fete, a beloved Boston tradition featuring a parade of costumed kids, children’s entertainment, crafts, face painting and a spring picnic on the Boston Common.

Enter today to win tickets to this family event!

FACT} 10 {FACT} This is a day parents appreciate much more than their children. It’s National Clean Up Your Room Day!

T}

17 24 {FACT}

Oh brother! Today, celebrate the special bond that exists between you and your brother -- or your children! It’s Brother’s Day!

31

BAYSTATEPARENT 11

on the

agenda

may

ADVENTURES OUR TOP

5 PICKS OF THINGS TO DO IN MAY

1.

1.

2.

3.

2.

Princess Day at the Zoo. Stone Zoo, 149 Pond St., Stoneham. Saturday, May 4, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Come in your fairytale best as you meet your favorite princesses, enjoy arts and crafts, meet with zookeepers, and more. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.95, ages 2 to 12 $9.95, ages under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

3.

Waitress: The Musical. The Hanover Theatre, 9 Southbridge St., Worcester. Wednesday, May 22-Sunday, May 26, various times. The dreams of a waitress and expert pie-maker soar with fantastic music across a beautiful story in this Tony Awardnominated hit musical. $45-80. thehanovertheatre.org.

4.

4.

12 MAY2019

5.

Kite & Bike Festival. Playstead Franklin Park, 25 Pierpont Park Rd., Boston. Saturday, May 18, 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Join more than 1,000 people at Franklin Park to enjoy picnicking, kite flying, bicycles, and more, featuring Hot 96.9 Boston. Rain Date Sunday.

Free. franklinparkcoalition.org.

5.

Wool Days. Old Sturbridge Village, 1 Old Sturbridge Village Rd., Sturbridge. Saturday, May 25-Monday, May 27, 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Discover how New Englanders reared sheep during OSV’s annual sheep sheering festival, featuring herding skills, textile and carding work, and animal encounters. Free with admission. Adults $28, youths $14, ages under 4 free. osv.org.

Flower Power Week. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. Tuesday, May 28-Friday, May 31, various times. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

ADVENTURES 1 WEDNESDAY WAM Stroller Tours. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester.

10:30-11:30 a.m. Enjoy a museum docent-led guide through the galleries, followed by an age appropriate story to light refreshments after your tour. Designed for ages up to 3. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $16, youths 4 and up $6, ages under 4 free. worcesterart.org.

Backyard and Beyond: May Day. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Celebrate the ancient holiday of May Day and make nature crowns and weavings for spring. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

2 THURSDAY Take Aparts. Jr. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10-11 a.m. Grab some tools and discover the inner workings of household gizmos and gadgets. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Everyday Engineering: SailMobiles. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2-4:30 p.m. Drop in and design a way to harness the power of wind as you construct a simple vehicle that’s part car, part sailboat. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Storytime Adventures: Bird Tales. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 4-4:30 p.m. Enjoy a fun story-time celebrating our feathered friends, the birds. For ages 3 to 5. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Bright Colors on a Dark Canvas.

Berklee Performance Center, 136 Massachusetts Ave., Boston. 8 p.m. Berklee World Strings and the Berklee Indian Ensemble brings forth a collective musical imagination in this evening featuring works rooted in the experiences of displaced people. Advance $10, day-of $15. berklee.edu/events.

3 FRIDAY Music and Movement with Miss Bernadette. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 9:30-10 a.m. Explore sound through singing and playing during this multi-sensory workout with a favorite music educator. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Backyard and Beyond: Forest Friday. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10-10:45 a.m. Enjoy a nature-based activity based on the weather and season, and explore the outdoors in the Discovery Woods

or adjacent conservation land. Recommended for ages 2 to 6. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

The Pied Piper. Berklee Performance Center, 136 Massachusetts Ave., Boston.

10:30 a.m. Join the Piper on his journey through Hamelin during this magical performance featuring original music and the Theater for Young Audiences Ensemble. $5. berklee. edu/events.

Toddler and Preschool Play Series: Materials Play. Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art, 125 West Bay Rd., Amherst. 11-11:30 a.m. Experiment with materials selected especially for young explorers, in the Art Studio. Free with admission. Adults $9, youths $6, ages under 1 free. carlemuseum.org.

Fee Friday Nights Free. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 4:30-8 p.m. The museum doors open for free while accepting non-perishable food donations for local pantries, with a special STEM activity from 5:30-7:30 p.m. Free. discoveryacton.org.

Artswalk Community Mural Coloring. Berkshire Museum, 39 South St., Pittsfield. 5-8 p.m. Join the Berkshire community in creating a series of vivid mini-murals as part of ArtWeekMA and First Fridays Artswalk. Free. berkshiremuseum.org.

Itʼs a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play. Brown Middle School Auditorium, 125 Meadowbrook Rd., Newton. 7-9 p.m.

The Newton Theatre Company breathes life into the classic story of George Bailey and his fellow citizens as radio actors take the stage for a wonderful evening. Free. newtonartscalendar.org.

Stars Over Springfield. Springfield Museums, 21 Edwards St., Springfield.

Join members of the Springfield Stars Club for skygazing in the Science Museum’s observatory or, if overcast, a planetarium show. $3. springfieldmuseums.org.

4 SATURDAY 2019 Farm Festival. Sheep Pasture, 307 Main St., North Easton. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. A day of games, vendors, and farm fun, including a toddler play area, yard games, arts and crafts, face painting, and more. Families $20. nrtofeaston.org.

May the Fourth Be With You. Springfield Museums, 21 Edwards St., Springfield. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Meet the members of the Galactic Empire and Rebel Alliance, hear the theme music performed live, enjoy hands-on fun in the intergalactic laboratory, and more on this day celebrating Star Wars. Free with admission. Adults $25, youths 4 and up $13, ages under 3 free. springfieldmuseums.org.

on the

agenda

may

The Pied Piper. Berklee Performance Center, 136 Massachusetts Ave., Boston.

10:30 a.m. Join the Piper on his journey through Hamelin during this magical performance featuring original music and the Theater for Young Audiences Ensemble. $5. berklee.edu/events.

Beyond the Spectrum: Toys and Traditions. Museum of Fine Arts: Boston, 465 Huntington Ave., Boston.

10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Learn about some of the traditional games and toys in the MFA collection, before making your own toys out of clay during this adventure in art for children on the autism spectrum. Recommended for ages 8 to 12. $9. mfa.org.

WeeMuse Art Lab. Berkshire Museum, 39 South St., Pittsfield. 11 a.m.12 p.m. Early learners are invited to try fun art-making Endangered Species Super Hero at Franklin Park Zoo. activities with a science twist. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmember panied by live music filling the theatre’s space.

5 SUNDAY adults $13, youths 4 and up $6, ages under 4 $20, students $15. thehanovertheatre.org. free. berkshiremuseum.org.

Autism Superhero 5K Run/Walk.

Special Storytime: Perrin HenBancroft School, 110 Shore Dr., Worcester.

Scribble Bots. Discovery Museum, 177 drick. Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book 7:30 a.m. Attendees are encouraged to wear Main St., Acton. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Come Art, 125 West Bay Rd., Amherst. 2 p.m. Distheir favorite superhero costume at the Autism create dynamic drawings using simple DIY cover a farm like no other in Perrin Hendrick’s Resource Central 5K. Featuring a kids’ fun run robotic contraptions made of wiggling motors, debut picture book ‘This Is the Farm’. Free with obstacle course, kids corner with games and pipe cleaners, and repurposed materials. Free activities, raffles and more. autismresourcecen- admission. Adults $9, youths $6, ages under 1 with admission. Members free; nonmembers free. carlemuseum.org. tral.org/fundraising/run-walk $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

First Sunday. Museum of Russian Icons, 6 MONDAY 203 Union St., Clinton. 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

Special Storytime: Ashley Explore the galleries during this day of open Goodbye Cecily. Worcester Public Library: Benham Yazdani. Eric Carle Museum access. Free. museumofrussianicons.org.

Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester. 11 of Picture Book Art, 125 West Bay Rd., a.m.-12 p.m. Send off Cecily our Children’s Amherst. 2 p.m. Author and Illustrator 12th Annual Childrenʼs Room Room Mascot through crafts, stories, music, and Ashley Benham Yazdani reads from her debut Celebration. Leominster Public Library, more. For ages 6 and under. Free. mywpl.org. picture book ‘A Green Place to Be’ envisioning 30 West St., Leominster. 1:30 p.m.-4 p.m.

New York’s Central Park of yore. Free with Celebrate our Children’s Room with a full day Singapalooza. David Friend Recital Hall, admission. Adults $9, youths $6, ages under 1 of crafts, special juggling and magic show at 921 Boylston St., Boston. 12 p.m. A blend free. carlemuseum.org.

1:30 p.m., glittery art temporary tattoos, and of original and classic songs combine with the more fun. Free. leominsterlibrary.org. sounds of an all-star band during this afterBuild a Bubble Wand. Discovery noon concert. Free. berklee.edu/events.

Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2-4 p.m.

ARTfull Explorations. deCordova Drop-in and try your hand at building a bubble Sculpture Park and Museum, 51 Sandy Pond Berklee Marimba Concert. David wand and discover the fascinating world of Rd., Lincoln. 1-3 p.m. Investigate new ideas Friend Recital Hall, 921 Boylston St., Bosbubbles. Free with admission. Members free; and unique materials inspired by the Museum ton.

3 p.m. Classical, contemporary, jazz, and nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. exhibitions and Park sculptures. Designed for pop styles are featured in this celebration on discoveryacton.org. ages 5 to 12. Free with admission. Members the marimba and other percussion instruments. free; nonmember adults $14, ages 12 and Free. berklee.edu/events.

Massachusetts Pirates vs. Jackunder free. deCordova.org. sonville Sharks. DCU Center, 50 Foster The Legend of the Golden Piano.

St., Worcester. 8:20 p.m. Massachusetts’ Robin Hood. The Hanover Theatre, 2 Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem native Arena Football team comes back to the Southbridge St., Worcester. 2 p.m. Be Sq., Worcester. 4-4:45 p.m. Grab your DCU Center in a show off against Jacksonville. immersed as this silent-film adaptation of the spurs and journey with the ScienceTellers to the $12. dcucenter.com. chivalrous English bandit’s adventures is accom- Wild West where a legendary bank-robbing BAYSTATEPARENT 13

outlaw is back in town as we explore science concepts while working to send him behind bars. Recommended for ages 5 to 12. Free. mywpl.org.

First Man: Science on Screen.

Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard St., Brookline. 7 p.m. Ryan Gosling plays Neil Armstrong in this riveting depiction of the Apollo 11 flight during this Science on Screen event featuring MIT professor and former NASA astronaut Jeffrey Hoffman. $13.25. coolidge.org.

Concert Choir. David Friend Recital Hall, 921 Boylston St., Boston. 7:30 p.m. The Berklee Voice Department presents a set of vocal music. Free. berklee.edu/events.

7 TUESDAY

of limited crowding. Register ahead. Free. discoveryacton.org.

ENSEMBLE / PARALLAX. David Friend Recital Hall, 921 Boylston St., Boston. 7:30 p.m. Enjoy this multimedia concert featuring contemporary music and technology for a bright experience. Free. berklee.edu/events.

8 WEDNESDAY Backyard and Beyond: Summit Great Hill. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m. Summit Great Hill on a short and easy hike on the Museum’s adjacent conservation land. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Joanne Langione Dance and Movement Class. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 10-10:45 a.m. Enjoy a class of music and movement for toddlers and preschoolers. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

21st Century String Band Ensemble. Oliver Colvin Recital Hall, 1140 Boylston St., Boston. 7 p.m. The works of modern masters inform this concert performed by one of Berklee’s best string bands. Free. berklee.edu/events.

Tinker Tuesday: Wearable Art. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 1011 a.m. Explore the possibilities of reusing what you usually throw away to create a wearable masterpiece. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Berklee Symphonic Winds: Local Roots. Berklee Performance Center, 136 Massachusetts Ave., Boston. 8 p.m. Berklee Symphonic Winds performs the music of Massachusetts-based composers in this celebration of local minds and music. Free. berklee.edu/ events.

Especially for Me: Sensory-Friendly Afternoons. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 1:30-4:30 p.m. Come explore the entire Museum campus at your own pace, during this afternoon

9 THURSDAY

14 MAY2019

Make a Mess: Explore Kinetic Sand. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St.,

Acton. 10-11 a.m. Squish it, sculpt it, drip it, and more, as you discover the unique properties of this special material through experimentation and play. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Groovalicious. Oliver Colvin Recital Hall, 1140 Boylston St., Boston. 7 p.m. Performers display their vocal talent and leadership abilities with music that includes all styles. Free. berklee.edu/events.

Carmen: An Open Rehearsal.

Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 7-9 p.m. Commonwealth Lyric Theatre presents an open rehearsal of its forthcoming production of the classic opera, Carmen, set in southern Spain. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

10 FRIDAY Backyard and Beyond: Forest Friday. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10-10:45 a.m. Enjoy a nature-based activity based on the weather and season, and explore the outdoors in the Discovery Woods or adjacent conservation land. Recommended for ages 2 to 6. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Toddler and Preschool Play Series: Materials Play. Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art, 125 West Bay Rd., Amherst. 11-11:30 a.m. Experiment with materials selected especially for young explorers, in the Art Studio. Free with admission. Adults $9, youths $6, ages under 1 free.

carlemuseum.org.

Sensory Play Storytime. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton.

11:15 a.m.-12 p.m. Look, listen, touch, and play. Enjoy a story and activities to explore different sensory concepts. For ages 2 to 4.

Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Squishy Circuits. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2-4:30 p.m. Discover the conductive property of playdough and make LEDs light up, buzzers buzz, and motors whir. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

11 SATURDAY Digame Un Cuento / Spanish Storytime. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 10-10:45 a.m. Para ninos hispanohablantes entre 3-5, enjoy this story-time for Spanish speakers age 3 to 5.

Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Pop-Up Play Day. Berkshire Museum, 39 South St., Pittsfield. 10 a.m.-12 p.m.

Build, rebuild, collaborate, and play on the big, blue blocks of the Imagination Playground.

Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $13, youths 4 and up $6, ages under 4 free. berkshiremuseum.org.

Celebrate Azize’s 4th Birthday. Franklin Park Zoo, 1 Franklin Park Rd., Boston. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Watch Azize, the youngest of Franklin Park Zoo’s western lowland gorilla troop, enjoy special enrichment

treats, learn all about the animals during zoo encounters, and more. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmember adults $16.95, ages 2 to 12 $11.95, ages under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

Astronomy Day. Springfield Museum, 21 Edward St., Springfield. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Get ready for out of this world fun in the Science Museum, with a day of celestial and astronomical fun. Free with admission. Adults $25, youths 4 and up $13, ages under 3 free. springfieldmuseums.org.

Exploring Science Together: Marine Life. Harvard Museum of Natural History, 26 Oxford St., Cambridge. 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Dive deep into the underwater life of marine animals and learn all about the challenges of life at sea with hands-on activities.

Register ahead. Members $15, nonmembers $25. hmnh.harvard.edu.

Arms + Armor Demonstrations.

Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester. 11:30 a.m. & 2 p.m. A fun interactive program, learning all about different kinds of arms and armor used by Roman soldiers, Medieval knights, and beyond. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $16, youths 4 and up $6, ages under 4 free. worcesterart.org.

Mother’s Day Tea. Museum of Russian Icons, 203 Union St., Clinton. 1-3 p.m. Celebrate spring and Mother’s day by participating in an afternoon of traditional Russian tea service. Register ahead. $30. museumofrussianicons.org.

Mother’s Day at Stone Zoo. Special Storytime. Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art, 125 West Bay Rd., Amherst. 2 p.m. Journey on an unlikely friendship between a young boy and the moon, with a time to create your own flying kites, machines, and orbiting planets to add to our collective story. Free with admission. Adults $9, youths $6, ages under 1 free. carlemuseum.org.

A Dog’s Way Home. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 2 p.m.

Watch this charming tale following the story of a dog’s determination to reunite with its owner.

Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Everyday Engineering: Air Play.

Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton.

2-4:30 p.m. Drop-in and build creations that float and fly in a tunnel of swirling air with a variety of materials to craft your contraption. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

BotShop Workshop. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 2:30-4 p.m. Join Minni of Boston for this workshop exploring engineering and mechanics and construct individual robots, buttons and all. For ages 6 to 10. Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Especially for Me: Visually Impaired Family Evening. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 5-8 p.m. An evening especially for families experiencing a visual impairment. Explore, play, experiment, and imagine throughout the Museum and Discovery Woods, with dinner provided. Register ahead. Free. discoveryacton.org.

12 SUNDAY Mother’s Day Celebration. Old Sturbridge Village, 1 Old Sturbridge Village Rd., Sturbridge. 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m.

Enjoy family events planned throughout the day, including cooking, hands-on crafts, and performances. Free with admission. Mothers

free; adults $28, youths $14, ages under 4 free. osv.org.

Mother’s Day at the Zoo. Stone Zoo, 149 Pond St., Stoneham. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Visit the white-cheeked gibbon exhibit to visit mom Iggy and her two offspring, Holly, the mother reindeer, and celebrate all the wonderful families that call the Stone Zoo home.

Free with admission. Mothers free; members free; nonmembers $14.95, ages 2 to 12 $9.95, ages under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

Mother’s Day at the Zoo. Franklin Park Zoo, 1 Franklin Park Rd., Boston. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Visit Kiki the western lowland gorilla and her offspring, as well as Baird’s tapir mom, Abby, as well as all the families that call Franklin Park Zoo home. Free with admission.

Mothers free; members free; nonmember adults $16.95, ages 2 to 12 $11.95, ages under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

Marmee’s Mother’s Day Party.

Fruitlands Museum, 102 Prospect Hill Rd., Harvard. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Come by the Farmhouse to celebrate Mom with this “Little Women” themed Mother’s Day Party. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $15, ages 5 to 13 $6, ages under 5 free. fruitlands.org.

Early Music Concert. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 2 p.m.

Sarah Cantor brings a collective concert of early music as part of the Newton Festival of the Arts. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

The General. TCAN: Center for Arts, 14 Summer St., Natick. 4 p.m. Live music accompanies this screening of one of the most revered comedies of the silent era featuring Buster Keaton in the midst of the Civil War. Members $10, public $12. natickarts.org.

13 MONDAY Growing Readers Celebration.

Leominster Public Library, 30 West St.,

Leominster. 9:30-10:30 a.m. Celebrate the books of Ruth Krauss through stories, art, music, and movement. For ages 2 to 5.

Register ahead. leominsterlibrary.org.

Baby Bookworms. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 1111:30 a.m. A program celebrating nursery and action rhymes, songs, and stories for caregivers and babies from birth to 12 months old.

Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Meet Our Chicks. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 6:30-7:00 p.m. Meet the newly hatched baby chicks in an enclosed area set up for petting. Best for ages 3 and up. Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary. org.

Circus Smirkus: Live. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 7-8:30 p.m. A live performance by Circus Smirkus acrobats and artists ranging in ages from 10 to 18 that will tickle the entire family. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

14 TUESDAY Dance Party. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 10-10:30 a.m.

Move and groove to the music, as kids and caregivers are invited to dance together. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Mirror, Mirror, What Do You See? Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10-11 a.m. Play with different kinds of reflections and experiment by using mirrors to create symmetry, refract light, and expand your field of vision. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Meet Our Chicks. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 6:30-7 p.m. Meet the newly hatched baby chicks in an enclosed area set up for petting. Best for ages 3 and up. Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

BAYSTATEPARENT 15

15 WEDNESDAY

ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

youths $6, ages under 1 free. carlemuseum.org.

WAM Stroller Tours. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester.

10:30-11:30 a.m. Enjoy a museum docent-led guide through the galleries, followed by an age appropriate story to light refreshments after your tour. Designed for ages up to 3. Free with Museum admission. Members free; nonmember adults $16, youths 4 and up $6, ages under 4 free. worcesterart.org.

Take Aparts. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2-4:30 p.m. Drop-in and discover the inner workings of telephones, computers, radios, and more through hands-on investigation.

Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Family Fun. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 3-5 p.m. Drop-in for family fun with games, building materials, and other activities for all ages. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

ARTfull Play. deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum, 51 Sandy Pond Rd., Lincoln.

10:30-11:30 a.m. Engage with art, stories, nature, and new friends during multi-sensory activities.

Designed for children ages 2 to 5. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $14, ages 12 and under free. deCordova.org.

Meet Our Chicks. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 6:30-7 p.m.

Meet the newly hatched baby chicks in an enclosed area set up for petting. Best for ages 3 and up.

Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Sunset Drum Circle. Fruitlands Museum, 102 Prospect Hill Rd., Harvard. 7-8:15 p.m.

Join on the hillside at sunset for a facilitated drum circle, connecting with the landscape and ancient wisdom. Register ahead. Members $9, nonmembers $15. fruitlands.org.

16 THURSDAY Doggy Days: Tail Tales. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10-11 a.m.

Drop-in to talk to Therapy Dog, Abby. Read tail tales and try on a tail to see how it feels. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50,

16 MAY2019

Family Science Outing: Serious Seeds. Sheep Pasture, 307 Main St., North Easton. 5:30-7 p.m. Learn naturalists to learn more about seeds, how to identify them, and take a seed collecting hike. Member families $5, nonmember families $10. nrtofeaston.org.

Bernstein Reimagined: Unexpected Pairings. Berklee Performance Center, 136 Massachusetts Ave., Boston. 7:30 p.m. Enjoy an unexpected pairings of Leonard Bernstein’s music and superb, creative musicians, featuring jazz, a Broadway star, and reimaginations of Bernstein’s best music. $25-125. berklee.edu/events.

17 FRIDAY Backyard and Beyond: Forest Friday. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton.

10-10:45 a.m. Enjoy a nature-based activity based on the weather and season, and explore the outdoors in the Discovery Woods or adjacent conservation land. Recommended for ages 2 to 6.

Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Toddler and Preschool Play Series: Materials Play. Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art, 125 West Bay Rd., Amherst. 11-11:30 a.m. Experiment with materials selected especially for young explorers, in the Art Studio. Free with admission. Adults $9,

Berklee City Music Singer-Songwriter Concert. Berk Recital Hall, 1140 Boylston St., Boston. 4 p.m. Berklee City Music presents a singer-songwriter concert featuring high school students. Free. berklee.edu/events.

18 SATURDAY Apple Blossom Festival. Sholan Farms, 1125 Pleasant St., Leominster. 10 a.m. Celebrate the advent of spring in Central Massachusetts featuring crafters, children’s activities, music, and food. Price varies. sholanfarms.com.

Pop-Up Play Day. Berkshire Museum, 39 South St., Pittsfield. 10 a.m.-12 p.m.

Build, rebuild, collaborate, and play on the big, blue blocks of Imagination Playground. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $13, youths 4 and up $6, ages under 4 free. berkshiremuseum.org.

Endangered Species Super Hero.

Franklin Park Zoo, 1 Franklin Park Rd., Boston. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Meet some of your favorite Super Heroes and learn how you can be a Super Hero for endangered species during Franklin Park Zoo’s Party for the Planet. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $16.95, ages 2 to 12 $11.95, ages under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

Home Sweet Home. Fruitlands Museum,

102 Prospect Hill Rd., Harvard. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. A day of historic games, music, gallery talks, guided hikes, and more. Free. fruitlands.org.

MFA Playdates: Growing from the Ground. Museum of Fine Arts: Boston, 465 Huntington Ave., Boston. 10:15-11 a.m. Enjoy story time and looking activities in the galleries following artmaking. Take inspiration from the new growth of springtime. For ages 2 to 4. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $25, youths 7 and up $10, ages 6 and under free. mfa.org.

Family Yoga Class. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 10:30-11:30 a.m.

Learn and participate in cooperative games, age-appropriate poses, caregiver-child poses, breathing exercises, and simple mindfulness activities. Designed for ages 3 to 12. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Arms + Armor Demonstrations.

Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester. 11:30 a.m. & 2 p.m. A fun interactive program, learning all about different kinds of arms and armor used by Roman soldiers, Medieval knights, and beyond. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmember adults $16, youths 4 and up $6, ages under 4 free. worcesterart.org.

World Fiddle Day. Fruitlands Museum, 102 Prospect Hill Rd., Harvard. 12-4 p.m. Celebrate the fiddle during this folk music celebration throughout the afternoon. Free. fruitlands.org.

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 2-4 p.m. Join Emmet and all his Lego friends are they reunite for a whole new animated adventure. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Happier Family Comedy Show. The Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art, 125 West Bay Rd., Amherst. 3-4 p.m. Creativity flourishing during this created-on-the-spot family friendly improvisational show. Recommended for ages 5 to 12. Member adults $9, youths $4.50; nonmember adults $10, youths $5. carlemuseum.org.

19 SUNDAY CakeWalk. Lasell College Athletic Field, 1844 Commonwealth Ave., Newton. 9 a.m.-12 p.m.

The signature fundraising event for Birthday Wishes, this family-friendly 5K and Fun Run concludes with a festival of activities including live music, bounce house, kids’ games, balloon sculpting, face painting, and, of course, cake! $35 per person. birthdaywishescakewalk.org.

Waban Village Day. Waban Library Center, 1608 Beacon St., Waban. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Enjoy music from Mark Copeland’s Contemporary Gospel Band, the Suzuki Music School, and Newton Family Singers, alongside pizza, ice cream, rides and games for kids of all ages, and more. Free. wabanimprovement.org.

20 MONDAY Buzz Lightyear Storytime. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster.

10-11 a.m. Join us for a special story and craft-time featuring captain space-ranger Buzz Lightyear. For ages 3 to 5. Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Stormy Weather. Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard St., Brookline. 7 p.m. Enjoy this classic film starring Lena Horne,

Franklin Park Kite and Bike Festival at Franklin Park, Boston.

Bill ‘Bojangles’ Robinson, Cab Calloway, and Fats Waller, with a talk between Horne’s granddaughter, Jenny Lumet, and the Boston Globe’s Renee Graham. Children $11.25, adults $13.25. coolidge.org.

21 TUESDAY LittleBeats Dance. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 10-10:30 a.m. Join friends for a creative dance at the library made to stimulate our busy brains and bodies. For ages up to 4. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Make a Mess: Spray Art Resist.

Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10-11 a.m. Make images created by materials that repel each other with crayons and watercolors.

Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

22 WEDNESDAY Backyard and Beyond: Pollinator Friends. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Celebrate bees, butterflies, and more. Learn about pollinators and make your own pipe cleaner bees to help pollinate some paper flowers. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Family Fun Night: Full STEAM Ahead. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 6-7 p.m. Join for some popcorn fun, including crafting, investigations using all five senses, and stories. For ages 3 to 7. Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Waitress: The Musical. The Hanover Theatre, 9 Southbridge St., Worcester.

7:30 p.m. The dreams of a waitress and expert pie-maker soar with fantastic music across a beautiful story in this Tony Award-nominated hit musical. $45-80. thehanovertheatre.org.

23 THURSDAY Snip and Tear. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10-11 a.m. Show off your scissor skills, try cutting for the first time, or use your hands to tear a collection of confetti during this morning of fun. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Waitress: The Musical. The Hanover

Theatre, 9 Southbridge St., Worcester. 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. The dreams of a waitress and expert pie-maker soar with fantastic music across a beautiful story in this Tony Award-nominated hit musical. $45-80. thehanovertheatre.org.

a.m.-5 p.m. Discover how New Englanders reared sheep during OSV’s annual sheep sheering festival, featuring herding skills, textile and carding work, and animal encounters. Free with admission. Adults $28, youths $14, ages under 4 free. osv.org.

24 FRIDAY

Play Date: Art in Action. Institute of Contemporary Art: Boston, 25 Harbor Shore Dr., Boston. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Participate in the art challenge and catch an interactive, family-oriented performance, outdoor fun, sea breeze sketching, and more. Free. icaboston.org.

Fairyborough Trail Hunt. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Celebrate National Scavenger Hunt Day and put your observation skills to the test throughout the Fairyborough Trail outside. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Officer Leo Storytime Meet & Greet. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 10-10:30 a.m. Join a local police officer for a special story-time, and ask him any question about his job. Recommended for ages 3 to 6. Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Paradise City Northampton.

Three County Fairgrounds, 54 Old Ferry Rd., Northampton. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Join curated artists as they descend upon Northampton for a celebration of astounding visual arts, eye-popping designs, scrumptious food, and terrific fun.

Adults $14, students $8, ages 12 and under free. festivals.paradisecityarts.com.

Kitchen Ka-Boom. Berkshire Museum, 39 South St., Pittsfield. 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Be a kitchen scientist with cool, hands-on, kid-safe experiments using ingredients found in most pantries.

Register ahead. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $13, youths 4 and up $6, ages under 4 free. berkshiremuseum.org.

Make a Mess: Spin Art. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

Twist tools, twirl paper, and give watercolors a whirl to create a uniquely spun work of art. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Arms + Armor Demonstrations.

Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St.,

Worcester. 11:30 a.m. & 2 p.m. A fun interactive program, learning all about different kinds of arms and armor used by Roman soldiers, Medieval knights, and beyond. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $16, youths 4 and up $6, ages under 4 free. worcesterart.org.

The Little Mermaid. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 2 p.m. Enjoy Disney’s animated classic movie musical following a headstrong mermaid as she follows her heart. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Waitress: The Musical. The Hanover Theatre, 9 Southbridge St., Worcester. 2 p.m. & 8 p.m. The dreams of a waitress and expert pie-maker soar with fantastic music across a beautiful story in this Tony Award-nominated hit musical. $45-80. thehanovertheatre.org.

Backyard and Beyond: Forest Friday. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10-10:45 a.m. Enjoy a nature-based activity based on the weather and season, and explore the outdoors in the Discovery Woods or adjacent conservation land. Recommended for ages 2 to 6. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Sensory Play Storytime. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 11:15 a.m.12 p.m. Look, listen, touch, and play. Enjoy a story and activities to explore different sensory concepts.

For ages 2 to 4. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Spring Showcase. Institute of Contemporary Art: Boston, 25 Harbor Shore Dr., Boston.

6-9 p.m. Performances and exhibitions of work

by ICA teens, featuring a photography exhibition, a film screening, and more. Free. icaboston.org.

Waitress: The Musical. The Hanover Theatre, 9 Southbridge St., Worcester. 8 p.m. The dreams of a waitress and expert pie-maker soar with fantastic music across a beautiful story in this Tony Award-nominated hit musical. $45-80. thehanovertheatre.org.

25 SATURDAY Wool Day. Old Sturbridge Village, 1 Old Sturbridge Village Rd., Sturbridge. 9:30 BAYSTATEPARENT 17

26 SUNDAY Wool Day. Old Sturbridge Village, 1 Old Sturbridge Village Rd., Sturbridge. 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Discover how New Englanders reared sheep during OSV’s annual sheep sheering festival, featuring herding skills, textile and carding work, and animal encounters. Free with admission. Adults $28, youths $14, ages under 4 free. osv.org.

Paradise City Northampton.

Three County Fairgrounds, 54 Old Ferry Rd., Northampton. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Join curated artists as they descend upon Northampton for a celebration of astounding visual arts, eye-popping designs, scrumptious food, and terrific fun.

Adults $14, students $8, ages 12 and under free. festivals.paradisecityarts.com.

Wareham Oyster Festival. Wareham Centre, 200 Main St., Wareham. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Enjoy live music, sand art, bubbles, nautical fun, craft vendors, food from local vendors, and an all-around cheers to oysters in the perfect seaside village. Free. warehamoyster.com.

Special Sunday in the Studio. The Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art, 125 West Bay Rd., Amherst. 12-5 p.m. A day of special artmaking in our in-house studio. Free with admission. Adults $9, youths $6, ages under 1 free. carlemuseum.org.

Waitress: The Musical. The Hanover Theatre, 9 Southbridge St., Worcester. 1 p.m. & 6:30 p.m. The dreams of a waitress and expert pie-maker soar with fantastic music across a beautiful story in this Tony Award-nominated hit musical. $45-80. thehanovertheatre.org.

27 MONDAY Wool Day. Old Sturbridge Village, 1 Old Sturbridge Village Rd., Sturbridge. 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Discover how New Englanders reared sheep during OSV’s annual sheep sheering festival, featuring herding skills, textile and carding work, and animal encounters. Free with admission. Adults $28, youths $14, ages under 4 free. osv.org.

Paradise City Northampton.

Three County Fairgrounds, 54 Old Ferry Rd., Northampton. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Join curated artists as they descend upon Northampton for a celebration of astounding visual arts, eye-popping designs, scrumptious food, and terrific fun.

Adults $14, students $8, ages 12 and under free. festivals.paradisecityarts.com.

Let’s Go Fly a Kite. Fruitlands Museum, 102 Prospect Hill Rd., Harvard. 2-4 p.m. Join on the hillside for a kite making craft that will inspire outdoor play for the whole family. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $15, youths ages 5 to 13 $6, ages under 5 free. fruitlands.org.

28 TUESDAY Matt Heaton Family Singalong.

Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton.

10-10:45 a.m. Join the Toddlerbilly Troubadour as he brings an infectious energy to well-known and soon-to-be classic songs. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Flower Take Apart. Discovery Museum, 18 MAY2019

177 Main St., Acton. 10-11 a.m. Celebrate Flower Power Week. Dissect flowers and then mix and match parts from our flowers to create your very own fantastic flora. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

29 WEDNESDAY World Otter Day. Stone Zoo, 149 Pond St., Stoneham. 10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Dive on otter to Stone Zoo and learn about otters, their role in our ecosystem, and more. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmembers $14.95, ages 2 to 12 $9.95, ages under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

Backyard and Beyond: Flower Suncatchers. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Celebrate Flower Power Week. Make some flowery art and keep the flower power going with petal suncatchers.

Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Help Plant the Children’s Salsa Garden. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 3-4 p.m. Learn about the library’s Seed Library, plant pea seeds to bring home, and help plant the community salsa garden that will be harvested in the summer. Register ahead. For ages 4 and up. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

30 THURSDAY Blossoming Brushwork. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10-11 a.m.

Celebrate Flower Power Week. Create original artistic masterpieces using a bounty of beautiful blossoms as brushes. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Plantable Paper. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2-4 p.m. Explore the science of papermaking as you sculpt and squish recycled paper pulp into new usable paper sprinkled with a few wildflower seeds to grow new plants. Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

31 FRIDAY 30th Annual Garden Tour. Concord Museum, 53 Cambridge Turnpike, Concord. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. The Concord Museum’s seven beautiful private gardens built with elegant designs and inspiration. Register ahead. Memers $30, nonmembers $40. concordmuseum.org.

Officer Leo Storytime Meet & Greet. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 10-10:30 a.m. Join a local police officer for a special story-time, and ask

him any question about his job. Recommended for ages 3 to 6. Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Backyard and Beyond: Forest Friday. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton.

10-10:45 a.m. Enjoy a nature-based activity based on the weather and season, and explore the outdoors in the Discovery Woods or adjacent conservation land. Recommended for ages 2 to 6.

Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

Wildflower Seed Balls. Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2-4:30 p.m.

Celebrate Flower Power Week. Roll up your sleeves, squish some dirt and clay together, and sprinkle on some wildflower seeds to create seed bombs to plant at home and watch them bloom.

Free with admission. Members free; nonmembers $14.50, ages under 1 free. discoveryacton.org.

BAYSTATEPARENT 19

1. Duckling Day

on the

agenda

the list

7

Special Ways to Celebrate

Mother’s Day

Think outside the box -- or flower vase -- this Mother’s Day. What better way to celebrate than by making memories and having some family fun? Here are seven special events happening on May 12 that promise to be an amazing way to spend the day.

Boston Common Parkman Bandstand 10 a.m.-12 p.m.

Take part in one of the most adorable Boston traditions as children parade through the Boston Common and Public Garden dressed like ducklings this Mother’s Day. The Friends of the Public Garden have put on the annual Duckling Day for more than 30 years, where hundreds of children dressed as characters from Robert McCloskey’s classic children’s book “Make Way for Ducklings” march from Boston Common to the duckling statues of the Public Garden. While the event is most famous for this precious parade, there’s really much more to it.

Prior to the parade will be playtime on the Common from 10 a.m.12 p.m., featuring jugglers, magicians, interactive circus games, kids crafts, facepainting and more. All activities are included with event admission. Families are encouraged to bring a picnic and sprawl out on the common while enjoying the array of entertainment and activities. The parade, led by the Harvard University Marching Band, begins at noon.

The registration fee is $35 per family in advance (before May 10) and $40 per family the day of the event. Each child who registers will receive a special goody bag. For more information or to register, go to http://friendsofthepublicgarden.org/events/ducklingday/.

2. Lilac Sunday at Arnold Arboretum 125 Aborway, Boston 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Pack a picnic for Lilac Sunday! For 111 years, families have made the Arnold Arboretum of Harvard University the place to welcome spring, enjoying its spectacular lilac collection at its peak of bloom.

Enjoy the sight and scent of hundreds of lilacs, and encounter some of the thousands of other species of trees, shrubs, and vines comprising the Arboretum’s living collections. The Lilac Collection alone numbers some 397 plants.

This is the only day of the year that picnicking is permitted at the Arboretum, so pack lunch and plan to stay all day. Enjoy themed tours of lilacs and other special plant collections and an array of activities for families and children, from fragrance tests to temporary tattoos to Mother’s Day card-making. The Boston Symphony Orchestra and their Children’s Chorus will be performing throughout the day. Lemonade, slush, and ice cream will be available for purchase.

The event is free, though donations to the Arboretum are appreciated. Parking is limited to perimeter streets, so use of public transportation is strongly encouraged. More information and a full schedule is at arboretum.harvard.edu.

3. Family Walk at Great Brook Farm State Park 165 North Rd., Carlisle 9:30 a.m.

Celebrate mom and join other families on a Mother’s Day walk through Great Brook Farm State Park. This 1000-acre park features more than 20 miles of trails where you can see Native American sites and 17th-century cellar holes leftover from English settlers.

There’s also an active dairy farm that offers free tours on weekends.

The 2-hour guided hike will be easy enough for kids and beginners, winding through woods and fields and passing by ponds and streams. Afterward, visit the animals on the dairy farm or treat yourself at the ice cream stand. The walk is free but there is a $3 parking fee at this DCR property. Register online at amcboston.org, or email amycbkelliher@gmail.com with questions.

20 MAY2019

4. Marmee’s Mother’s Day Party at Fruitlands Museum 102 Prospect Hill Rd., Harvard 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

Stop by the Fruitlands Farmhouse to celebrate mom at this “Little Women” themed Mother’s Day Party. Listen in to live readings of excerpts from Louisa May Alcott’s classic novel, make a craft, try on period dress-up clothes and play historic games!

Extend your experience by enjoying all that Fruitlands has to offer. This sprawling property is home to five collections on 210 majestic acres of meadows and woods. Go on a hike, learn about the lives of the Transcendentalists, Shakers, the Hudson River School and Native Americans, enjoy treasures in the Art Museum, and take in contemporary outdoor sculptures. You can also enjoy brunch in the Fruitlands Museum Cafe, but be sure to reserve a table ahead of time, as they book up quickly.

Marmee’s Mother’s Day Party activities are included in the cost of admission to Fruitlands; adults $15, students and seniors $12, kids 5-13 $6, children under 5 and Trustees members free. More information is at fruitlands.org.

5. Picnic & Lilac Festival at Stevens-Coolidge Place 137 Andover St., North Andover 10 a.m.-1 p.m.

Get outside with your family and celebrate mom with a picnic at the Stevens-Coolidge Place at the peak of lilac season. Enjoy live music and explore the garden with your little ones. Play croquet, bocce, ring toss, and other lawn games that will be set up throughout the garden. Take a family photo among the beautiful gardens. The Stevens-Coolidge Place will provide a limited assortment of pastry and beverages to supplement the bring-your-own-picnic atmosphere of the day.

Take guided tours of the gardens and stop in the greenhouse to see what seasonal goodies are for sale to add to your garden. Special arrangements will be available for Mother’s Day. Mini family photo sessions with a professional portrait photographer from White Dove Photography and Abby Photography available with pre-registration.

Pre-registration is required, and early registration is encouraged. Adults $30 and children $15, or $24 and $9 for Trustees members. Moms are free! Register at trustees. org.

6. Brunch on the Farm at Appleton Farms 219 County Rd., Ipswich 10-11:30 a.m. & 12:30-2 p.m.

Treat Mom to a memorable farm-to-table Mother’s Day Brunch at picturesque Appleton Farm, a 1,000-acre working farm that offers a glimpse into New England’s agricultural past. Enjoy a hearty buffet brunch with locally sourced in ingredients in the historic Carriage Barn, where you can take in displays of Appleton family saddles, bridles, and fox hunting gear from years past while children enjoy climbing aboard an antique carriage or exploring the Farm Discovery Boxes. Kids can also visit with the barnyard animals and make a craft for mom! All moms will receive a well deserved mimosa with brunch. If the weather is nice, there will be additional seating and lawn games outside, and guests can enjoy a stroll around the farm after brunch.

Pre-registration required; adults $45 and children $20, or $36 and $16 for Trustees members. Children under 2 are free. Register at trustees.org.

7. Mother’s Day at Old Sturbridge Village 1 Old Sturbridge Village Rd., Sturbridge 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m.

Spend the day immersed in history and strolling the grounds of Old Sturbridge Village, where all moms get in free for the day! Family events are planned throughout the day including demonstrations of 1800s-era cooking for children, hands-on crafts, and live family-friendly performances. Guests can also visit with a 19th century midwife and Lydia Marie Child, author of “The Mother’s Book.” Check osv.org for a full schedule of events.

Admission to Old Sturbridge Village is $28 for adults, $26 for seniors, $14 for children and students. Kids under 4 are free.

BAYSTATEPARENT 21

22 MAY2019

bites

FOOD FOR THOUGHT • GOOSE’S GOODIES • NUTRITION

BAYSTATEPARENT 23

5 Kid-Friendly Foods to Grill

Bites

Food for

Thought

(That Aren’t Hot Dogs)

W

To Curb Kids’

Sugary Drinks,

Pediatricians Call for New Public Policies

On

average, children are consuming over 30 gallons of sugary drinks every year. To put it in perspective, that’s enough to fill a bathtub. Kids are consuming about 17 percent of their calories from added sugars – well above the recommended amount – nearly half of which come from drinks alone.

“For children, the biggest source of added sugars often is not what they eat, it’s what they drink,” said Natalie D. Muth, a pediatrician and the lead the author of a new policy statement released by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American Heart Association (AHA) calling for a suite of public health measures to reduce kids’ consumption of sugary drinks. “I am concerned that these sweetened drinks pose real – and preventable - risks to our children’s health.”

Pediatricians warn that consuming too many sugar-laden beverages like sports drinks, fruit-flavored drinks and sodas can lead to tooth decay, diabetes, obesity and heart disease. And teens who drink more than 10 percent of their daily calories from added sugars are more likely to have abnormal cholesterol levels, including higher “bad” LDL cholesterol, higher triglycerides, and lower heart-protective HDL cholesterol, according to the AAP. Beverage companies spend millions in marketing to adults and children – $866 million in 2013 – with most teens seeing at least one ad for a sugary drink every day, according to the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity. Children from 24 MAY2019

minority and low-income communities are disproportionately harmed by low-cost, easy access to sugary beverages.

The policy statement, published in the April issue of Pediatrics, includes proposed excise taxes, limits on marketing to children, and financial incentives for purchasing healthier beverages. The AAP and AHA call for a series of policies to reduce children’s consumption of sugary drinks—including price increases—taking note of the lessons learned from decades of work on tobacco control efforts. The policy statement is the first time AAP has recommended taxes on sugary drinks.

“As a nation we have to say ‘no’ to the onslaught of marketing of sugary drinks to our children,” said Rachel K. Johnson, PhD, RD, professor emeritus of nutrition at University of Vermont and former Chair of the American Heart Association’s nutrition committee. “We know what works to protect kids’ health and it’s time we put effective policies in place that bring down rates of sugary drink consumption just like we’ve done with tobacco.”

Excise taxes on sugary drinks have successfully reduced consumption in cities including Berkeley, Calif., and Philadelphia, Penn. Cities have reinvested the revenue generated by these taxes into community programs to help low-income people buy healthy food, and subsidies to schools and child care centers to increase servings of fruits and vegetables.

ith Memorial Day being the second most popular holiday for a cookout (4th of July takes the top spot), many of us will be firing up the grill this month. And while the child-favorite hot dog may be one of the first things you think of when it comes to grilling for the family (after all, American eat 2 BILLION of them on Memorial Day weekend), there are plenty of other kid-friendly things you can throw on the grill. Here are five ideas for other child-approved things you can cook on the barbecue.

Pizza. You know, that other kid favorite. Take time to preheat to at least 500 degrees. You need a really hot grill or the dough will stick to the grates. Brush one side of the dough with olive oil, lay it on the hot grill, and cook for about 3 minutes. When the dough is set, flip it over and add your pizza toppings, put the lid down and cook another 3 to 5 minutes. Voila! Let the kids help (supervised, obviously) with adding their favorite toppings. Look online for tons of easy-to-follow grilled pizza recipes and tutorials.

Quesadillas. Throw a tortilla on the grill and sprinkle with cheese and your desired toppings (cooked chicken or steak, beans, taco meat, veggies, corn… the possibilities are endless!), then top with another tortilla. These are quick to cook; you just need to melt the cheese!

Sliders. These are basically just smaller version of hamburgers, so they’re perfect for little hands. You could also do turkey burgers or grilled chicken sliders.

You can find slider buns near the hamburger buns in the grocery store, or just use a package of dinner rolls.

Kebabs. What could be more fun than dinner on a stick? Chunks of beef, chicken or pork, cherry tomatoes, bell peppers, onions and zucchini are all easy to cook on a skewer. If kids are old enough, you can let them thread the kebabs themselves.

Fruit. Just about any fruit can go on the grill as long it is fairly firm and not overripe. Peaches, melons, pineapples, pears, and bananas are some of the best to toss on the barbecue. Cut fruit into large chunks; smaller pieces are likely to fall into the grates.

Early Introduction of Peanuts Cuts Risk for Allergy

I

ntroducing peanuts early may help some babies avoid allergies, according to new guidance from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

The AAP, which endorsed a policy on early peanut introduction in high-risk infants in 2015, bolsters the recommendation with research cited within a clinical report published in the April issue of Pediatrics. For years, doctors thought that delaying the age at which kids first eat common allergens like peanuts, eggs and milk could help them avoid allergies later in life. But the new report says there is more evidence than ever to suggest that purposefully introducing some foods to children early in life may help prevent them from developing food allergies, which affect about 8 percent of American kids.

“We know that some children are predisposed to allergies because of their family history,” said Dr. Frank Greer, co-author of the clinical report. “It’s clear that sometimes nutrition can play a key role in preventing or minimizing allergies that can be concerning – or even deadly – for some children.”

An expert panel convened by the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) developed guidelines for early peanut introduction endorsed by the AAP. This includes adding infantsafe forms of peanut to the diet for most babies, as early as around 6 months, after

other solid foods are tolerated.

For high-risk infants, like those who have severe eczema or have an egg allergy, testing for peanut allergy and introduction of peanut-containing foods under supervision of a health care provider is a consideration. These high-risk infants may have peanut products introduced as early as 4-6 month of age.

Eight groups of foods account for about 90 percent of all food allergies and must be declared on U.S. product labels. These include cow milk, eggs, fish, crustacean shellfish, tree nuts, peanuts, wheat and soybeans. More than 170 additional foods are reported to cause allergic reactions, and some, including sesame, are included in labeling laws in other countries.

The AAP says there is no reason to delay giving your baby foods that are thought of as allergens like peanut products, eggs or fish. These foods can be added to the diet early, just like foods that are not common allergens, like rice, fruits or vegetables.

The AAP also finds: ■ Exclusive breastfeeding for the first 3 to 4 months helps protect against eczema during a child’s first two years of life. Any amount of breastfeeding (even if it is not exclusive) beyond 3 to 4 months also protects against wheezing for the first two years and offers even longer benefits in reducing asthma.

■ Evidence does not support restricting a mother’s diet during pregnancy or breastfeeding as methods to prevent allergies.

■ Hydrolyzed formula does not prevent allergies in infants and children, even in those at high risk for allergic disease, according to research. This finding marks a change from the 2008 clinical report, which concluded there was modest evidence that supported the use of hydrolyzed formula to prevent dermatitis in high-risk infants.

■ Recommendations on the prevention of peanut allergy are based primarily on the Learning Early About Peanut Allergy (LEAP) trial. Ground peanuts and other specialized formulations are advised, as whole peanuts are a choking hazard to children under 4.

■

BAYSTATEPARENT 25

T Bites

goose’s

goodies

his recipe, which comes from the 1992 edition of “Best Kids Cook Book,” is a Mother’s Day staple in our family. From the days of my kids serving me breakfast in bed, to today, as my grandchildren gobble these up, this will mark the 26th year they appear on our brunch menu. The secret ingredient is lemon yogurt, but you can substitute another flavor for variety.

Lemon Strawberry Waffles Ingredients • 3 cups strawberries, sliced • ½ cup margarine or butter, melted • 2 cups all-purpose flour • 1 teaspoon baking soda • ¼ teaspoon salt • 2 cups nonfat or lowfat lemon yogurt (about 3 cartons) • 2 eggs Directions • Place flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt on a large bowl and mix with a whisk until blended.

• Place yogurt and eggs in a medium-size bowl and mix with a whisk until blended; add to the flour mixture and blend together.

• Add melted butter to batter mix until well blended. Batter will be very thick.

• Use a spoon to place about ¾ cup batter on center of waffle iron, close and cook for about 5 minutes, or until done.

• Serve waffles topped with strawberries.

Laurie Silva Collins, known affectionately as Goose by her grandkids, is a nurse, mother and grandmother who is happiest when she’s in the kitchen, cooking and baking for those she loves. She learned to cook from her parents, and has perfected her recipes over the years while raising three daughters… and spoiling seven grandchildren.

26 MAY2019

Bites

ask the nutritiontist

Should We Be Hiding Veggies in Our Kids’ Food?

BY LAUREN SHARIFI, RD LDN

Q

My child turns his nose up at veggies. Is it okay to hide them in this food?

A

We have all been there. Our child refuses to touch the vegetables on their plate.

We are left feeling frustrated and feeling like we must come up with a solution. We found a link on Pinterest named “Sneaky Hidden Vegetable Recipes” and we are sold! These recipes will surely get them to eat their vegetables. And guess what?

It often works! They drink the fruit smoothie loaded with kale, eat the Sloppy Joe’s with veggies or gobble zucchini muffins not even realizing that they just ate a vegetable they refused the other night. Win! Right?

Unfortunately, this is only a short-term solution. Yes, your child eats their vegetables and gets in some nutrients, but in the long run it doesn’t help your children build healthy eating habits. Truth is, most young children don’t love vegetables and that’s okay! Other plantbased foods like fruits, starchy vegetables, grains, cereal, lentils and beans also have the same nutrients found in vegetables. If they are eating a variety of these foods, they are most likely getting the nutrients their body needs to grow and develop. Moral of this story is: don’t worry too much if they don’t always eat their vegetables!

Getting kids to eat vegetables isn’t always easy, but over time with consistent exposure to veggies prepared in a variety of ways and seeing us adults eat them they will eventually eat some vegetables. The goal in

exposing young children to vegetables is to get them to eat a variety of them on their own so when they are older, they make healthy choices on their own.

So, does hiding vegetables in your child’s food really work?

The answer is yes, it often gets children to eat the vegetables in the short-term, but it does not help build your child’s healthy eating habits in the long-term.

There is nothing wrong with adding vegetables into smoothies, baked goods or meat dishes but let your child know what is in the food they are eating and maybe have them help you prepare it. One way I do this is by having my son help add the spinach into his smoothie or add and mix the carrots or zucchini into the muffin batter.

Also, let adding vegetables into dishes be just one of the many ways you are offering and exposing your child to vegetables.

Lauren Sharifi is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and food blogger at biteofhealthnutrition.com.

Lauren works in private practice in Brighton at ASFPeak Health (asfpeakhealth.com) and is passionate about helping individuals and families become competent eaters that find joy out of eating. Have a question for Lauren? Email BSPeditor@ gatehousemedia.com.

BAYSTATEPARENT 27

POWER OF WOMEN

10

Mo�er’s D� gift ideas for every type of mom

For the Jewelry Lover The AJ’s Collection line of hand finished, sterling silver necklaces and charms can be customized with the names of children. You can choose from more than 100 different charm patterns and designs, and even add swarovski birthstones. ajscollection. com, starting at $17.

Picking out a gift for the leading lady in your life can be a tall task. Here’s ten unique finds for every budget, and every superwoman on your list.

For the Skincare Buff This personal microdermabrasion tool allows mom to give herself skincare treatments right at home.

The MiniMD by Trophy Skin is a handheld device that gently exfoliates skin, removing dead layers to make it smoother and softer. trophyskin.com, $99.

For the Beauty Queen Rechargeable and portable, the Bright Daylight Makeup Mirror has LED lights that create a natural daylight experience. It can rotate 360-degrees, includes a case and two removable magnification mirrors. thegrommet.com, $100.

For the Green Mama Eco-friendly and biodegradable, reusable Wet-It Dishcloths last six months or longer; the perfect alternative to sponges, paper towels and washcloths. These colorful Swedish dishcloths can hold up to 16 times their weight and are easy to care for -- just pop it in the washing machine. thegrommet.com, 3-pack $14.95.

28 MAY2019

For the Home Chef For the Planner Customize a notebook or agenda for the mom who keeps the whole family organized.

Gotcha Covered Notebooks allows you to select the size and paper type, and personalize your planner with images and text. gotchacoverednotebooks, starting at $12.99.

Mom can grow her favorite culinary herbs all year long, right in the kitchen. No green thumb needed for the Click & Go Smart Garden -- just drop plant cartridges right into the container, refill the water reservoir and plug it in. thegrommet. com, $99.95.

For the Purse Collector Sea Bags, a small Portland Mainebased business, recycles sail cloth material into beautiful bags. The Rose Gold collection is an addition to their Anchor line that lets mom add a bit of glam with the pop of metallic rose gold. Bonus: This limited-edition collection gives back with 20% of sales going to the Maine Cancer Foundation. seabags.com, $160.

For the Wine Connoisseur Does mom need a drink? The Wine Freeze Cooling Cup keeps beverages chilled for hours; pop it in the fridge to cool your reds to the perfect cellar temperature or store in the freezer to chill your whites. The glass has an insulated silicone band for comfortable handling. hoststudios.com, $13.49.

For the Mani Maven

For the Frazzled Mom Tell mom to take a rest and let her soak in the bliss of organically grown, hemp-derived CBD that acts like a massage. For relief from chronic pain or just the daily grind, she can slip into the silky water of these effervescent, skin-softening CBD Bath Bombs. lifeelements.com, $14.

At-home manicures are easy as pie with this 3-in-1 dryer and storage solution. The Nail Station features a drying tunnel with UV-LED lights for curing gel polish, a fan for drying laquer, and 7 built-in compartments to hold polishes and nail tools. thegrommet.com, $39.99.

BAYSTATEPARENT 29

SOLDIER, MOM

While motherhood itself can be a fulltime job, some mothers make the choice to also serve in the United States Armed Forces.

These women juggle the trials of parenting with the responsibility of maintaining operations, coping with deployment and the uncertainty that can come with it all.

BARNES PORTRAIT DESIGN 30 MAY2019

POWER OF WOMEN

Mothers Who Serve Tough Choices, But

Moms Say It’s Worth It

BY AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER

K

aila Kelly gets choked up when she thinks about her son’s next birthday.

This fall, Easton will turn 5. He’ll have a party with his friends – probably Paw Patrol themed, his favorite. He’ll tear open presents and gobble up cake. It will be the same simple fun as any other 5-year-old’s birthday fete, except his mom won’t be there. Kaila will be on an Air Force base, half the world away.

Technical Sgt. Kelly, who works in aviation resource management, is preparing for her second overseas deployment.

In 2011, two years after joining the Air Force, she spent two months in Iraq and another two months in Kuwait. It was ANoverall positive experience, she said, an eye-opening venture that gave her a deeper appreciation for her country and her freedoms. And while she’s expecting a similar sense this summer as she heads to Qatar, this deployment will be different.

This time, she’s a mom.

“It’s been a lot to think about,” said Kaila, who grew up in Warren, Mass.

“I have my moments where I dwell on

things, times where I can’t stop thinking about it. How am I not going to kiss him goodnight? How am I not going to take him to school? All the little things – it’s so hard to think about all that stuff.”

The deployment of military women with children is a growing phenomenon, according to an article in Military Medicine. Women represent anywhere from 15 to 20 percent of all active and reserve military members, and more than 40 percent of military women have children.

But overseas deployment isn’t the

only separation from their kids moms in the military face. Senior Airman Debra Patterson, of Hudson, Mass., had been home from Basic Training for eight months, waiting for her job school assignment, when she found out she was pregnant. Her daughter Ryan was 10 months old when Debra had to leave to attend military training school in Mississippi. At the time, Ryan was just learning to walk, and Debra was just getting the hang of being a mom.

“Nothing is worse than leaving knowing you’re gone for more than a day

BAYSTATEPARENT 31

or two, especially when they are that little and you know there are so milestones they’re going to hit, and you’re going to miss,” said Debra, who was away from Ryan for four months while she studied finance in the Air National Guard.

Debra watched her baby grow on video calls, taking part in daily rituals through her cell phone screen. “I got to FaceTime her really briefly at night, right at her tubby time.

I’d see her get ready for bed. A lot of times she wouldn’t even acknowledge the phone.”

She returned home to a “whole new baby,” she said.

“She was running, talking, climbing. Developmentally, she changed tenfold. She looked at me like, ‘I think I know you, but I’m mad at you.’”

Soldier Mom, Military Spouse Kaila met her husband Mike when they were both stationed at Nellis Air Force Base in Las Vegas, Nevada. They immediately hit it off, and their bond strengthened when they deployed together to the Middle East. They returned stateside in February 2012 and married in a courthouse wedding the follow-

ing year, right before Mike left for Djibouti, Africa.

Just weeks after his deployment, Kaila got some surprising news: she was pregnant.

“I told him over the phone,” she remembered. “We were excited. We wanted to start a family.”

But when the first ultrasound revealed there was no heartbeat, Kaila’s excitement turned to heartache. She had to again call her husband, nearly 7,000 miles away, this time with the news that she was miscarrying.

Mike’s commander’s wife met her at the hospital so she wasn’t alone.

“It meant a lot that she had some support when I couldn’t be there, and that’s one thing I will say is great about the military. We’re there for each other.

But there are times when it’s terrible. That was a super challenging time,” said Mike.

Mike’s next deployment, again to Djibouti, presented different challenges. The Kellys had become parents to Easton, and he was 3 years old.

Deployments are different after you have a kid, they learned.

One parent feels they are missing out, and the other feels they’re picking up the slack.

“Life here continues,” Mike said of the months he spent away from his wife and son.

“Easton wakes up, dresses himself, pours himself a bowl of cereal now -- all these little things he didn’t do yet when I left. You felt like life stopped here when you left, but it continues. He grows, he changes.”

When Kaila leaves this summer, the roles will reverse.

“Now, she’s going to be the one to have to come home and figure out what we’ve established,” said Mike.

Tough, But Worth It Debra Patterson was in her late twenties when she joined the Air National Guard, initially planning on going into military intelligence. At the time, she was working full-time at an insurance company, feeling burnt out and unfulfilled. Her husband, Doug, who’s been in the military for 16 years, helped inspire her to enlist.

Two years later, she landed a full-time civilian job with the Air Force, working as a financial analyst at Hanscom Air Force Base.

With Doug, an Army captain, being active duty, Debra lives with knowing he – or even both

Debra and Doug Patterson with daughter Ryan.

Easton puts on his mom’s Technical Sergeant rank.

32 MAY2019

18th Annual

Apple Blossom and Craft Festival at Sholan Farms

Fun Packed Entertainment for All Ages!!

May 18 • 10 am-4 pm Rain date May 1 19

• Live Kids Entertainment • Fallbrook Song Birds • International Veterans Chorus • Balloon Ben – Balloon Sculptures • Bagpipers and Butterfly release, 2:30pm • Appleseed John • Hidden Treasures Hike • Project Apples Story Walk • Alpaca-lips Farm • Gift Basket Silent Auction • Bake Sale • Great Food Truck Vendors

Sholan Farms Kaila Kelly in Iraq. of them – could be deployed at any time. She admits it can be stressful, but she’s happy with her decision to serve. She believes it’s made her a better mom.

“You have a lot of pressure when you’re a first-time parent.

But I think I actually came back from school a lot calmer,” she said. “When you have to focus on being the best you can be in your job, and be the best parent you can be 2,000 miles away, you have to learn balance. I think it makes you realize that every moment is special.”

Debra is able to take Ryan to daycare on the base with her, and down the road will have the opportunity to transfer GI Bill benefits to her daughter.

“My daughter is growing up seeing two people – her parents – doing something selfless; something for their country.

Whatever she decides to do with her life, I’m glad to be setting that example,” she said.

“It’s tough at times, but totally doable as a mom. You’d be surprised how many women with children join.”

Kaila made up her mind to serve when she was 14 and she witnessed 9/11. She joined the Air Force at 19. But once she became a mother, she started questioning that path. When it came to re-enlist – and she had a

1-year-old son – the choice was difficult.

“It wasn’t just me and what I wanted to do with my life anymore; now I had this baby.

And I’d think, how could I go six months, or even longer, away from him? I would stay awake at night thinking about it – do I get out, or do I stay in?”

She left it up to the flip of a coin, not because it would settle the question, but because she hoped, in that brief moment the coin was in the air, she’d have clarity. “I threw it in the air and said ‘heads I stay, tails I go.’ It landed on tails, and I said, ‘I’m staying.”

She knows her decision affects her son, and feels both pride and guilt. This year will be Easton’s second holiday season with one parent overseas. Last Christmas, Mike was in Djibouti and this Christmas, Kaila will be in Qatar.

Easton’s Daddy Doll, which he’d cling to every night while Mike was deployed, pressing its tummy to hear his dad’s voice, will become his Mommy Doll when Kaila leaves this summer.

“He didn’t choose this, both of us did. It’s what we signed up for, not him – so I think that leaves some guilt,” said Kaila.

“But he’s also seeing that you can follow your dreams. Even when it’s really hard.”

1125 Pleasant St. Leominster • 978-840-3276 www.sholanfarms.com • Like us on facebook

WM-0000395896-01

Fun for the whole family!

BAYSTATEPARENT 33

BY PAM HOLLANDER

L

KICKIN’ IT In Adult Dance Cla�es

different people, or forces—slow, fast, refined, rebellious, surrendering, strong…

I find myself taking these forces into my real life. They bolster me and give me the ability to let things go as well. I find myself humming the tunes from class as they represent emotions I feel during the day. These tunes remind me of the positive attitude of the moves and the music, which I really do apply to my everyday moments, walking the one-size-fits-all gym routine, gratefully into my house after that the solitary gym experiwork, choosing to stay positive ence was not for me. It wasn’t at work when I could be frustratuntil I reunited with dance as ed, bringing lightness into my exercise in adult dance classes play with my children and my in my forties that I found the dates with my husband. routine for me.

I find that dance gives me a I love my adult dance classgood workout. I do strengthenes. Like many people who ing and abs exercises during danced as a kid, I missed my dance classes, like planks, dance. Like many people crunches, contractions and kicks, who’ve been in a gym, I hate and I get a lot of aerobic movethe gym. I know I have to exerment through the dancing. The cise; every day there is a new instructors always do a warmup article about how physical at the beginning to get muscles exercise is the key to healthy ready for the more lively moves. body and mind. So, dance is As far as logistics go, I have the solution for me, and I would The ladies of Hip Hop Dance Class, from left, Laura Often, Gayle Melko, Alycia Beatrice (Instructor), Pam Hollander, found that more and more dance argue many other people, who Maureen Cohen at Beatz Dance Studio in Grafton Center. classes are being offered as might not have considered it, drop-in, like yoga classes have or have considered it, but were for quite a while. I buy a card try in other parts of my life: I am the %$#@, and I know not sure about it. and then I go as much as I want. I pay between $10-15 a it. While every Nia class shares certain values of the I have tried several types of adult dance. My favorclass for these dance classes. Dropping in works better Nia Dance Program, the hip hop class is a creation of ites are Nia and hip hop; both hit the physical and for me than committing to eight weeks in a row. I am my teacher and of other teachers. Certainly, there are emotional spots for me. Nia is a follow-along dance very loyal and committed to my classes, but still I want particular attitudes and movements associated with offered all over the country, but is much slower than that flexibility as things come up in my life and I have hip hop dance that you will see in any hip hop dance Zumba, and is done barefoot. It is made up of moves to miss a class. All the classes I have tried have also class, like body part isolations and body rolls, but each from modern dance, jazz dance, martial arts and teacher will bring their own choreography into the mix. offered a first trial class for free, which is great. yoga and was developed as a mind-body “No Impact There still seems to be a belief out there that if you In both classes, I feel a sisterhood with the other Aerobic” exercise by fitness experts Debbie Rosas and haven’t suffered, you haven’t worked out. For some, members of the class. We have gotten to know each Carlos AyaRosas in San Francisco. Each song is a joy to lifting and doing cardio at the gym is fun, but for others other, and have built up a kind of trust after seeing move your body too, and has an upbeat empowering it isn’t. There are a lot of options out there besides each other each week. My dancemates encourage and message, like “Staying in Yes” by Jana Stanfield. My the traditional -- yoga, silks, kickboxing to name a few. support me in my dancing efforts, and I know they Nia classes are taught by a dance teacher who is also Dance is the one that speaks to me, allowing me to pick would be there for me if I had emotional challenges as a mental health counselor, and has students ranging up on my childhood interest and my adult enjoyment well. They let me know they are proud of me when I do in age from 20 to 80. Mostly women attend, although of “shaking it.” I think we need to match our workouts something well, even if it is a small thing. we have had the occasional male. The message of Nia to our interests and personalities, especially if that is Dance allows my exercise to flow, and not always classes were to “feel joy” and “move your body.” the only way we will really show up! be the staccato repetitive rhythm of lifting weights or Hip hop has allowed me to feel really funky, stanky, running on the elliptical. There is freedom and release and smokin.’ Our teacher, who is in her twenties, was within the dance moves, which allows the constriction a dance major in college and danced throughout her Pam Hollander is an Associate Professor at Worcester from sitting at a computer all day, or standing on one’s childhood. She is a talented choreographer who choState University. She lives in Grafton. feet all day, to leave the body. Dance also enables my reographs dances for us to learn each week. In hip mind and body to be creative; I can imagine myself as hop class I get to play out an attitude I rarely get to

ike so many people, I spent my twenties and thirties trying to find an exercise routine that worked for me. Exercise in my youth was dance, which captured my sense of whimsy and creativity; in adulthood what stared me in the face was gym equipment: ellipticals, stationary bicycles and weight machines. I found after trying to fit myself into

34 MAY2019

POWER OF WOMEN

Find� Your

TRIBE

Today’s Moms Turn to Meet-ups for Support, Friendship

H

BY JOAN GOODCHILD aving a baby is a transition for just about any new parent. The feeding and napping schedules, the lack of sleep in those first few months, the feeling that life now revolves around a tiny infant who can only cry to communicate their needs often leads to feelings of isolation for some.

The perfect antidote for those difficult post-baby days is community. And thanks to the internet, these days, finding a community is only a few keystrokes away. Many moms today are turning to online meet-up groups to find their village – a place to share experiences and enjoy support, conversation and fun.

Take, for example, a group of Shrewsbury moms who get together weekly for a playgroup in town to share in friendship, activities and play for their kids.

Khalan Sears, a Shrewsbury mom who founded the group, originally created the playgroup out of a larger group she had originated called MomSquad.

“Our mission is to provide moms and fellow women the opportunity to create friendships, not only for their children but for themselves,” said Sears.

“We do crafts, circle time, oncea-month Mom’s Nights Out, kids’ classes, and social events.”

“Kay ran a playgroup out of her home for years when her kiddos were little,” explained Mandy Normandin, also a Shrewsbury mom who runs the group with Sears out of an area community space donated

by The Residence at Orchard Grove in Shrewsbury. “We set up our space like a small, early-learning class, with free play toys. We typically have a simple theme. ‘Pancakes’ was last week’s theme and we’ll have a hands-on activity related to the theme, like a craft. Last week we made pancakes and during our small circle time, we will have a book that also supports the theme.”

The result is a chance to escape the loneliness of being home for long days with children. It gives the moms a chance to socialize, and the kids a chance to have some fun.

It is a welcome break for everyone, says Sears, who thoroughly enjoys facilitating the weekly group.

“I get to watch other moms create friendships like I did when my kids were young,” she

said. “I love watching the children learn in circle, and seeing the moms really and truly enjoy their time at playgroup.”

According to an article from baby-food maker Beechnut, whether they’re in-person or online, 70 percent of moms agree that their inner circle of moms is their largest source of support. A quick glance at sites like MeetUp.com reveals there are no shortage of groups for parents of all kinds in the Bay State. Groups for moms based on town, age, and religion.

There are groups for moms who want support and socialization around breastfeeding. There are groups for parents who are navigating the experience of parenting a child with a disability. There are groups for working moms, like the Franklin/ Bellingham chapter of the Working Moms Meetup headed

by Kristi Morin, a Bellingham mom who joined the meet up seeking new connections when she first moved to the area.

“Motherhood and parenthood are hard, but it doesn't have to be isolating,” said Morin. “It

is possible to still maintain an active social life as parents - and even better when it includes your kids!”

Like the Shrewsbury group, the working moms group hosts playgroups that are centered around engaging and fun activities moms can take part in with their children. Morin said activities range from free events hosted at members’ homes, or at playgrounds, local libraries and businesses. There are also events that require a fee, like group outings to a play place or trampoline parks. The fun doesn’t stop with kids-only activities, said Morin, who aims to offer parents an opportunity to connect and relax in adult settings too.

“We also put a heavy emphasis on organizing mom-only events for more focused socializing time as well,” she noted. “Playgroup are awesome because you can bring your kids, but then you also have to stay attentive to them as well, which depending on the venue can make adult conversations a wee bit more challenging.”

Adult-only outings have included a scrapbooking event at a local brewery, trivia nights and coffee or brunch gatherings. The group also recently hosted a date night event that included a beer tasting and dinner. All of it, said Morin, aims to provide like-minded moms with an opportunity to decompress and have fun.

“Being a mom to small children that consume your entire life can sometimes be draining and isolating - especially when you add work demands on top of it,” she said. “We provide a regular, consistent opportunities for moms to connect with other moms, bring their kids, and seek out social connections with other local women in similar life stages and circumstances” A parent meet-up group that works for your interests and situation is easily found with a Google search, or on sites like MeetUp.com. Morin says even with varying backgrounds and professions, it’s easy to form friendships because parenthood is a unifying bond.

“Not being from the area originally, or knowing anyone around here, it gave me a chance to meet other moms to form relationships within my new town,” said Morin. “I also knew everyone else joining the event would be a mom so there would always be something common to talk about!”

Joan Goodchild is a veteran writer and editor and mom of two living in Central Massachusetts.

BAYSTATEPARENT 35

POWER OF WOMEN

Surviving the

‘FOURTH TRIMESTER’ The Importance of Self-Care for New Moms

BY DR. BRITTANY FALCONE

D

uring pregnancy, your body goes through an immense physical transformation over a relatively quick nine-month period. But, there is a secondary component of pregnancy that most women don’t even consider: the fourth trimester.

The fourth trimester marks the time after delivery where your body works to return to normal.

This return to previous form and function is the most rapid transformation our bodies will ever endure. After delivery, the weight of the baby on your body is suddenly removed. Subsequently, your body now lacks stability from hormones that worked to soften the spine and surrounding soft tissues in preparation for the birthing process. Further, there is the added physical stress of breastfeeding/ pumping, carrying, and caring for a newborn. Clearly, the fourth trimester can be a physically (and emotionally) challenging time for a woman’s body.

What was most surprising to me during my postpartum period was the lack of support given to new moms. My first visit with a health professional was six weeks later – I had gone through a lot during that time! As new mothers, we have just been born, too, and 36 MAY2019

we aren’t getting the proper postpartum care our bodies deserve.

How many times does your child go to the doctor in the first month of life? Thinking back, my daughter went to her pediatrician eight times in the first year and almost half of those were in the first month. Along with obstetricians and primary care doctors, there are a wide range of health professionals available to support women during the fourth trimester.

In consideration of the dramatic bodily changes a woman undergoes, I suggest that all women receive some postpartum physical support.

I recommend visiting a Doctor of Chiropractic that specializes in working with new and expecting moms like myself. Through gentle treatments, we encourage pelvic balance and allow your body to heal in good alignment. Chiropractors are also great at treating any back pain, headaches, or neck tension resulting from your pregnancy and/ or motherly duties. To find a chiropractor certificated to care for children and pregnant women in your area, you can visit the International Chiropractic Pediatric Association (ICPA) website at: www.icpa4kids. com. In addition to chiropractic care, lactation consultants, massage therapists, acupuncturists, and pelvic floor physical therapists are

great at addressing the myriad of physical challenges new mothers experience as they transition into motherhood.

I have the honor of taking care of many moms in my practice. I interviewed several of my clients about the fourth trimester and here are some of the things they had to say :

7. Be flexible

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

8. Hydrate

As women, many of us think we can do it all, all the time. While I agree women are freaking amazing, the truth is that sometimes we can’t do it all. If you need someone to pick up milk for you or throw a load of laundry in the dryer then don’t be afraid to ask. Your friends and family don’t mind helping. What is the worst thing that happens? They say “no.” Or better yet, they say “yes” and you get to take that one thing off your to do list. If you feel shy about asking those you know for support, consider hiring a postpartum doula.

2. Saying “Yes!”

If someone asks if you need something, don’t be afraid to say “yes.” It doesn’t make you any less amazing. I asked my 72-year-old grandmother to clean my bathroom during my maternity leave and guess what? She did it without hesitation.

3. Saying “No!”

Conversely, if your friends and family ask if they can come over and visit and it just isn’t a good day for whatever reason then don’t be afraid to say “no.”

4. Find a community of supportive women

Join a mom’s group, find a breastfeeding support group, or go to the library for a baby and me class. There are many cheap/free options out there for new mothers in Massachusetts. Many of these communities are very active online, so make sure to search for ways to connect virtually. When you’re ready, get out there and connect with other adults who are going through the same thing.

5. Give yourself some slack

It is okay if you are not back to your pre-pregnancy body at the end of your maternity leave. Physically, I assure you that it is totally possible to get back to who you once were.

You can and will get there, but for right now just give yourself some slack.

6. Everything is temporary

The early days and weeks with a newborn can be really challenging – adjusting to motherhood wasn’t the walk in the park I thought it would be. During a rough few days remember this: everything is short-term.

Just when you think you can’t take another sleepless night it will change and things will get better, I promise.

Becoming a parent has nothing to do with balance and everything to do with flexibility – flexibility with your schedule, with your body, with your work, and in your life. Everything won’t always go as planned, so remember to be less rigid and embrace the chaos.

Most new moms do not drink enough water. Soreness? Have a glass of water. Not producing enough milk? Have a glass of water.

Have a headache? You guessed it, have a glass of water! Take your body weight and divide it in half – you should be drinking at least that many ounces of water per day (more if you’re pumping/breastfeeding). Water can’t solve all our fourth trimester woes but being dehydrated certainly doesn’t help.

9. Get some fresh air

It really is tempting to stay inside all day and watch Netflix. The cold weather in New England may limit us at times, however I encourage you to take advantage of warmer days and get outside. Babies love going for walks! Sunshine can be the best medicine for a new mom.

Taking care of ourselves during the fourth trimester feels almost impossible, but it really is the most important time to make yourself a priority. A strategy for self-care is not a one-size-fits-all solution but should include efforts in all areas of health – physical, chemical, and emotional – to gain the most benefit.

The American College of Obstetrics states that “postpartum care should become an ongoing process rather than a single encounter with services and support tailored to each woman’s individual needs.” What does this mean for you? Be creative to find what works to optimize your health during the postpartum period. No matter what you choose, make your wellness a priority! I hope this advice empowers you and minimizes some of the stressors you’ll most likely encounter during this special time in your life.

Dr. Brittany Falcone is a Worcesterbased chiropractor who specializes in pediatric and pregnancy related chiropractic care. She is Webster Technique certified and board certified by the Academy Council of Chiropractic Pediatrics (CACCP). She is a mother, a wife, and an entrepreneur. She is an active member of her local community. Contact her directly at drbrittany@worcesterfamilychiro.com or visit her office website to learn more at www. worcesterfamilychiropractic.com.

BAYSTATEPARENT 37

What Moms Really Want For Mother’s Day While you may be shopping for the perfect gift for mom or grandma (see our gift guide on page 28 for some ideas), many surveys reveal that what moms really want can’t be bought. Instead, they want some help and some sleep. Last year, a survey by mom matchmaking app Peanut asked its more than 300,000 users their top Mother’s Day wish, and found that most mothers -- 35 % -- hoped for “a break from the mom routine,” while 26% just wanted “a good night’s sleep.” Only 5% of the moms queried wanted a physical gift.

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38 MAY2019

4

POWER OF WOMEN

our

1.

fave

Kids come with a lot of stuff, but you don’t have to lug it around in a frumpy tote. Luckily there are diaper bags out there that look just like a regular backpack or stylish purse. We’ve rounded up four of our favorite fashionable diaper bags.

2.

4.

1. You don’t have to sacrifice fash-

ion for function with this stylish bag

by Bodomint, which can be worn messenger- or backpack-style. With 11 pockets total, there’s plenty of room for everything you need, plus it’s water resistant and includes a diaper changing pad. bodomint. com, $149.99.

3.

2. Is it a trendy backpack or a

diaper bag? That’s up to you.

The Traveler, by Citi Babies, has multiple pockets, waterproof fabric, insulated bottle holders and a changing pad included. The unisex design makes it perfect for dads, too. citibabies.com, $69.99.

3. The structured design of La Mère,

by Azaria, provides plenty of space without being too bulky. This bag is made of scratch-resistant vegan leather, allowing it to weather spills and dirt. Multiple carry options, including backpack, messenger or crossbody make this bag versatile for any occasion. azariabrand.com, $149.95.

4.

Only need a few things?

Designed for mamas who don’t need to carry a lot, the Paige Mini by Happ fits 2 to 3 diapers, a sippy cup, a pair of extra clothes and your mom essentials. It looks like a cute purse, so you might find yourself using it just for you! happbrand.com, $149.

BAYSTATEPARENT 39

POWER OF WOMEN

The Beauty ofthe

LITTLE-BIG STUFF

One Mom’s Journey to Finding the Extraordinary within the Ordinary

BY BRENDA DONOGHUE

40 MAY2019

“Hey mom, don’t I look shiny?

I love this stuff!”

My youngest strutted into the room with his trademark impish innocence. His hair and body, covered in a thick, greasy sheen of Vaseline. His older brother and I were stunned speechless.

My kids are gross, a bit warped, and, in general, have terrible timing. They are also hilarious. Even when they don’t mean to be.

Nothing is worse than that moment, already well past bedtime, when your kid suddenly appears before you looking like a slimy creep straight out of a horror flick.

If I had a dollar for every minute of sleep lost to their shenanigans, I’d surely be a millionaire.

Instead, I have permanent dark circles and “highlights” of prematurely gray hair.

A Vaseline bath isn’t his only late-night parlor trick. Not long after that stunt, he slathered his body in his older brother’s Axe lotion. I smelled him before I saw him. Proud as a peacock, and completely oblivious to the overwhelming stench, he presented himself like a gift… and slunk away for an unscheduled waypast-bedtime shower.

Another time, he chattered a constant stream of consciousness until well past bedtime.

When he should have already been fast asleep, he was singing made up rap song lyrics.

“Billy, you need to stop.

You’ve been nonstop all night,” I warned, as I counted the minutes until the house would be quiet.

“What?!?” he said, punctuated with an affronted gasp. “You can’t take away my passion, mom, Talking is my passion.”

And with one firm shake of his head, as if that settled the matter, he continued singing, barely missing a beat until his eyes shut mid-song and his body found sleep.

But even while calculating the fastest way to curb the latest curveball and salvage a reasonable bedtime, I am grateful when I pause to revel in their chaos (while still whining inwardly, of course).

Parents have a unique ability to feel two completely opposite feelings at virtually all times. On any given night, exhaustion and exasperation walk hand-in-hand with wonder and glee.

And, needing to rush through the busy daily grind hooks armin-arm with wanting to slow down to enjoy the unassuming extraordinary moments of our everyday.

And therein lies the struggle.

But, as time marches on all too quickly, I’ve learned that neither ball field accolades nor epic vacations hold a candle to find-

ing the true gems hiding in plain sight within the ebb and flow of our daily grind.

Embracing the extraordinary within the ordinary is where it’s at. It’s the golden ticket to getting blissfully lost in all of the little-big things, as they occur. It’s the quiet beauty that lies within my daily routine.

These dark horse memory-makers softly beat in my background. They clutter my memory’s highlight reel, stealing the spotlight from even life’s major events and milestones.

I’ll never forget the little-big moments that, thankfully, stopped me in my tracks and pulled me in to see the world through my kids’ eyes.

“Hey, do you think I’ll ever end up in Juvy?” I heard my son casually ask his older brother as I drove through town finishing evening errands. They were still young enough to be in their car seats. I glanced in the rearview mirror to catch my oldest looking off through the window, very carefully considering the likelihood his younger brother would ever end up a juvenile delinquent.

“Um...noooo...probably not,” he assured him. But he didn’t sound confident.

And then, as if this were all a perfectly normal conversation, they went on to quietly discuss what foods and activities were allowed at juvenile jail, in the event either ever did end up there. I’ll never forget another such moment cushioned between homework and dinnertime on one busy weeknight. Had I not stopped to pay attention, I could easily have missed it.

“Mom, when I was 5, Eddie told me the bathroom sink water was pee. And so, I didn’t wash my hands for a long time.”

Eddie wouldn’t look up, but I saw the slightest hint of a smile on his face. Though, he tried really hard to hide it.

Or the time, years ago, when I caught my oldest red-handed, getting ready to whack his brother. He froze mid-punch when I caught him in the act. I was consumed in the whirlwind of evening activities and switched gears to discipline, half my focus still on cooking dinner.

“But my lifelong dream is to become a professional boxer,” he said, with complete sincerity.

He trudged over to time-out with puppy dog eyes when it became clear I didn’t buy it. And his brother, the victim of the assault, rushed to his side, as they commiserated in hushed whispers about me - the bad guy.

These, and so many others, represent the moments that fuel the dynamics within my family, and shape our relationships.

They represent my everything, holding far more value than the busy tasks that consume me on any given day...and are far more desirable than fresh, well rested eyes and non-graying hair. They represent the very extraordinary subtly tucked within my tedious, unglamorous ordinary.

Unfortunately, the sad truth is that I’ve also missed many such moments, or only tuned in to pieces of them as they unfolded.

It’s only natural. It’s difficult to tune in when life’s many distractions spread you too thin.

But holding on to pieces of distracted memories alone is a meager consolation prize.

My mind’s eye can never quite grasp those things that I never quite held.

Although I’ve always understood this lesson to be true, there is no better teacher than life experience. Lately, time has ruthlessly swapped out my

present for far too much past.

My babies have become tweens and teens before my eyes; Act I of their childhood is solidly behind them.

And so, I will continue to linger in as many little-big things as I can, while I can.

The to-do lists will have to wait.

Because time waits for no one.

Brenda Donoghue juggles a fulltime career with raising two boys in Central Massachusetts. Her writing is inspired by occasional flashes of insight during the chaotic grind, which she strives to navigate with humor and grace.

BAYSTATEPARENT 41

VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE

We Belong:

Naviga� Friendship and Down Syndrome

BY SARA KORBER-DEWEERD

I

t’s 9 a.m. on a snowy Saturday in February. My son Kaleb and I drive to a friend’s house for his first drop-off playdate. He’s beside himself with excitement. We pull in the driveway and see Kaleb’s friend Ethan waiting at the side door of his family’s Victorian home. As he spots our van, Ethan jumps up and

42 MAY2019

down shouting Kaleb’s name through the glass. My boy clambers out of his seat and reaches for the sliding van door in one, swift movement as Ethan props open the storm door to usher Kaleb in from the cold. The boys can’t get to each other fast enough. My eyes fill with grateful tears. This is a big moment. This is a grateful heart.

You see, my son Kaleb has Down

syndrome. While he has two older sisters who adore him and classmates who include him at school, he doesn’t often get invited to friends’ homes. He’s only eight, of course. We haven’t yet entered the phase of best buddies and sleepovers. So why do I worry?

When Kaleb was born, my husband Mark and I grieved many things we perceived he would never have: An indepen-

dent life. A meaningful career. A family of his own. Even friendship. I know now that those fears were built on ideas about disability that our society had ingrained in us over the course of a lifetime. In time, we accepted the things we couldn’t change about Kaleb’s diagnosis and set misguided myths aside.

Still. One of our greatest hopes for our son is that he will always have friends

and be a friend. Though he loves people, it’s not always easy for Kaleb to communicate his ideas or be understood. And sometimes, especially when a friend comes to our house, he’s not always gracious or fair. That’s when I start to doubt. Will Kaleb develop lasting friendships? Will his friends have the patience to stick by him?

The answer, so far, is yes.

Kaleb’s friends love him because he is funny, imaginative and fearless, and because he likes playing the same things they do.

They forgive his foibles just as he forgives theirs. The kids in Kaleb’s class have known him since he was five and was so little his feet didn’t touch the floor when he sat at his desk. They don’t carry a history of social stigma and low expectations when it comes to his disability. They understand his challenges, and their little voices regularly rise up to guide him or advocate on his behalf. More, they like him for who he is.

Our family works hard to make sure Kaleb knows he belongs. If you’re a parent of a child with special needs, take heart. Like us, you already know the ways it’s necessary to participate in all aspects of your child’s development. Friendship isn’t any different. Mark and I have learned to keep playdates short and that when a friend comes to play, one of us has to stay near the action.

If conflict arises, we help Kaleb navigate social skills he’s still working on. Even though I don’t always feel like doing it, sometimes the best thing is to join in the fun. I’ve pitched and chased baseballs, pretended to eat playdough food at a “dessert cafe,” and been a secret agent imprisoned--and forgotten!--inside a hot play tent. The rewards are tangible. Friends leave happy asking if they can come again, and Kaleb learns important lessons about friendship, sharing experiences and building history with kids he enjoys and who enjoy him.

When Ethan’s mom Christine stopped me in the hallway at school the Friday before Kaleb went to their house to ask if he was free, I exclaimed, “Yes!” without hesitation. That evening as we worked out the details via text messaging, I asked her, “Do you want me to stay?”

“Either way,” she said.

“If I drop him off, are you comfortable with the extra supervision he might require?”

“Absolutely,” she replied. “You deserve a break. Enjoy it!”

It’s 11 a.m.; Christine sends me a text message as I leave my yoga class. “Is it okay if Kaleb stays longer?

They’re having so much fun!” Under the message are photos she’s snapped of Kaleb and Ethan playing in a snowy tree fort, cozied side by side under its canopy. I peer at Ethan’s big, brown eyes next to Kaleb’s almond-shaped blue ones.

“Of course,” I text back, my heart full.

Friendship is built on common interests and shared experiences, on mutuality and reciprocity.

And there it is, captured in two boys’ bright eyes and happy smiles. That’s belonging. That’s friendship.

If you’re a parent of a child with special needs, take heart. Like us, you already know the ways it’s necessary to participate in all aspects of your child’s development. Friendship isn’t any different.

Sara Korber-DeWeerd teaches creative writing, tutors, and coordinates the online learning program at the Whitinsville Christian School in Massachusetts. She is passionate about shifting the narrative of disability in our culture and empowering young people to do good in their world. She and her family enjoy raising awareness and funding for people with disabilities through local organizations, including the Massachusetts Down Syndrome Congress.

BAYSTATEPARENT 43

cyber savvy mom

How to Talk to Kids About Online Porn Online pornography is being served up to kids at alarming levels. Here’s how to help your child navigate and avoid inappropriate adult content.

BY JOAN GOODCHILD

It

was an uncomfortable moment, and it’s still a difficult story for me to tell. But I vividly remember when porn came looking for my son. In just 6th grade and starting to use social media, he came to ask me about all of the adult content that he was suddenly seeing on Twitter. He had opened an account only weeks before, and was now inundated with notifications from so-called porn bots, which are spam accounts that encourage users to click on links that will take them to pornographic content.

It was disheartening, to say the least, that my son was already

44 MAY2019

exposed to this kind of content at such an early age. But his experience is, unfortunately, not unique.

As Gail Dines, a scholar and activist who founded the non-profit Culture Reframed points out in a recent article in the Boston Globe, porn is not just a Twitter issue. It is also infiltrating mainstream social media sites such as Snapchat and Instagram, and our children are using these sites and apps for hours a day. They are almost certainly bound to be exposed to it at some point.

As Dines explains it, porn is often hidden behind hashtags and emojis on Instagram. Words that might seem innocent enough but are used as a “secret code to tag and search for particular types of

porn.”

“If teens type a specific fruit or vegetable emoji into the search bar, a list of links pops up to images ranging from women barely clothed to women in sexual bondage restraints,” said Dines in the article. “Those images lead directly to pornographic accounts, which are used by many porn performers to build their fan bases.”

Snapchat has a no adult content policy but porn accounts are often linked to a different, innocuous “teaser” Snapchat accounts.

From these, companies then facilitate links from Snapchat to porn sites, and kids can find themselves there with just a few clicks.

While the idea of our children seeing porn might make

us uncomfortable, Dines and other health advocates note the implications are actually even more serious for today’s child.

Contemporary pornography is much more graphic and can have negative social, emotional, and cognitive effects on teens, noted Dines.

Digital safety expert Katie Greer of KL Greer Consulting warns adult content is exposing kids to unhealthy misconceptions around sex and consent.

“This is not the porn of our years, where kids would try to sneak a magazine or two under their beds,” said Greer. “This is live, free, and can be found and viewed super discreetly from any device. The fact that it’s all over the place, even when kids aren’t intentionally looking for it, is something that parents really need to proactively address.”

Where is a concerned parent to start? While there are some tips for minimizing porn on some sites, and filters that can help keep younger kids away from adult content, a conversation is still the more effective tool. Both Dines and Greer advise talking to your kids, the earlier the better, to get an idea of what they have seen and to offer them guidance for what they may be run across in the future.

“It’s never a fun topic to discuss, but this is far beyond ‘the talk,’” said Greer. “And as our kids are using devices younger and younger, it’s possible they stumble upon it without even intending. That being said, we need to have conversations early and often about appropriateness and boundaries. At a young age we can explain that there are plenty of things on the Internet that may not be appropriate for them, and should they see something that doesn’t look quite appropriate, that they can feel safe coming to

us about it.”

Some suggested questions and topics you can use in your conversation might include: • Have you ever seen anything that made you feel uncomfortable?

• What are some things that you think are appropriate/inappropriate when it comes to stuff we see in apps or online?

• How can we work together to have the privilege of using devices, but also make it safe for everyone in our house?

It’s also important to reassure kids that if they do view inappropriate content, that they should not be afraid that a parent will punish or shame them. Children should feel comfortable knowing they can view you as a trusted ally that they can go to with anything.

“Whether they mean to or not is not really the point, we have access to the world at our fingertips - and no filter or app will change that,” said Greer. “So, being proactive, open and honest with our kids about this early is our best weapon.”

Dines’ Culture Reframed also recently launched a free online program that helps parents of tweens learn how to talk with children about online pornography and you can find more information on the Culture Reframed website.

Joan Goodchild, aka the CyberSavvy Mom, is a veteran writer and editor and mom of two living in Central Massachusetts. Got a question or a topic you would like to see covered here? Reach out at cybersavvymom@yahoo. com or follow Cybersavvy Mom on Facebook. Read more news and information on staying safe, secure and civil online at cybersavvymom.com.

finally

forever

“Hi New Mommy and Daddy!”

BY SEAN MILLIGAN

M

y wife Brittney and I knew early in our relationship that we were interested in adopting from the foster care system. I’m a teacher of students with social, emotional, and learning differences, and she is an administrator at a local university. Health issues would have made it difficult for her to get pregnant but not impossible, and we never really had any hangups about wanting to have a child biologically. Rather than go bonkers with trying to conceive naturally, we always talked about adoption.

We wanted to share our awesome lives with a tiny human, and sometime after our wedding we started the ball rolling on the foster to adopt plan.

I think the first real step we took was just attending an info session for people thinking about adoption. There were about seven or eight couples in a room. Two very nice ladies talked about the steps that we’d need to go through and some of what we might expect. If we’re being honest, most of the

Grace’s Adoption Story

process was a lot of hurry up and wait. We waited a few months to have a visit at our apartment with a social worker. She asked half a billion questions, but it seemed like she was cool with us. Months later we were placed in a class. You

get to know a lot about yourself in those classes, and they do a good job of scaring the hell out of you.

They also help you to learn what exactly you’re hoping for from the process. We hashed out our situation with a group of strangers and

May’s Child: Meet Carmela Hi! My name is Carmela and my dream is to become an Olympic gymnast!

Carmela is an 11-year-old girl of African American descent who describes herself as funny, silly and talkative.

Carmela is athletic and she enjoys activities such as gymnastics, basketball and soccer. Her favorite gymnasts are Gabby Douglas and Simone Biles, and her favorite basketball player is LeBron James. Carmela likes watching basketball and gymnastics videos on YouTube, and she often reads chapter books about her favorite sports too! Some of the other activities Carmela enjoys are painting and listening to music. She also likes animals, specifically Maltese dogs. When she grows up, Carmela wants to become an Olympic gymnast, an actress, a teacher or a doctor.

In school, Carmela’s favorite subjects are science, art and music. She enjoys going to school and learning new things. Carmela also really enjoys family time and responds well to caretakers who provide a lot of structure and redirection. Carmela is very social with both adults and children, and she is always interested in building relationships. The adults in her life say Carmela

is curious and asks lots of questions.

Carmela is legally freed for adoption and would thrive in a family that has previous parenting experience. It is recommended that Carmela is placed in a home with two parents, as the youngest or only child.

Interested families will need to be willing to maintain relationships Carmela has with members of her birth family.

Can you provide the guidance, love and stability that a child needs? If you’re at least 18 years old, have a stable source of income, and room in your heart, you may be a perfect match to adopt a waiting child.

Adoptive parents can be single, married, or partnered; experienced or not; renters or homeowners; LGBTQ singles and couples.

The process to adopt a child from foster care requires training, interviews, and home visits to determine if adoption is right for you, and if so, to help connect you with a child or sibling group that your family will be a good match for.

To learn more about adoption from foster care, call the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE) at 617-54-ADOPT (617-5423678) or visit www.mareinc.org.

came down to the realization that we were hoping for a little lady of any race and somewhere between the ages of 2 and 5.

When the class was over, we had a few home study visits where they asked us a few billion more questions, most of which we’d already answered. We started going to Jordan’s Furniture adoption events. They were super awkward. It was a lot like speed dating for kids, but whatever… we met a bunch of social workers, which we knew we’d need to find a kiddo.

Also, there was free ice cream.

Around this time, we also started obsessively checking the MARE website. That was less awkward. We’d both randomly shoot out texts with pictures of cute kiddos to each other. When Grace’s profile popped up, we both kind of freaked out. She was the first kid we both felt super passionate about looking into. My wife emailed our social worker and tried to get into contact with Grace’s. After a few weeks we assumed she was snatched up by someone else, but we kept inquiring about the tiny blonde girl. A month after our initial inquiry, we were asked if we were interested in going to a disclosure meeting about her! Someone thought we’d make a good match. At the meeting we learned Grace was a stubborn, talkative, little 3-yearold girl. This description turned out to be a huge understatement.

She is literally the most talkative person I’ve ever met. They gave us a bit of background information about her biological family and in particular her biological brother, John, who was also up for adoption. Some issues made a sibling pairing for one family to take them both impossible. We were encouraged to keep up a relationship with John. She was legally freed making her already available for adoption. We were told to take a night and think it over, but we knew then that we were going to move forward with Grace.

Brittney made a lovely picture book with our extended family, pictures of our dogs, her new bedroom, and the rest of our apartment, for Grace to look at before we met her. The day we met we

were obviously super nervous.

She’d been with the same foster mom her whole life, and by all accounts, that woman had given Grace a wonderful life. There was no preparation we could’ve done for this part. When we walked up the stairs to the foster mom’s apartment, I worried that this had all moved way too fast. (Despite it having taken over a year of paperwork, classes, and countless meetings.) The second we walked in, Grace threw her arms around my leg and screamed “Hi new mommy and daddy!!!” I didn’t know what I expected, but that wasn’t it. Any awkwardness was eliminated by the fact that she is just about the most precocious human alive. She jumped in my lap within ten seconds of meeting me.

It has been a little over a year since that meeting. It hasn’t been anything like what we expected.

We have grown together so much since that first day. It’s a lot of hard work. We potty trained, watched Frozen, got through the passing of a beloved dog, watched Frozen, started new schools and jobs, watched Frozen, visited with John and his new pre-adoptive parents a bunch, watched Frozen, traveled a bit, watched Frozen, and somewhere along the line became a family. I feel so lucky for how things have worked out. This was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and I’d do it all over again a thousand times for this family.

Sean Milligan is an adoptive parent and a teacher of students with social, emotional, and learning differences, who’s parenting style can best be described as a hot, loving mess. Brittney is an event coordinator for a local university, and is generally playing the adult in the room to both her strong willed daughter and man-child husband. Grace is a 4 four year old tiny person that has never been in a room in which she was not the loudest person there. She enjoys painting, chicken nuggets, and the new Muppet Babies. They live with two goofy pups in an apartment that just barely contains the chaos within.

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46 MAY2019

take eight with Raffi Millions who listened Raffi in their youth are now young adults who remember the singer-songwriter’s music as the backdrop of their childhood. Many of these #BelugaGrads, as the 70-year-old icon lovingly calls his fanbase, now have children of their own. The child entertainer and advocate is currently on tour, introducing a new generation to his playful, singable favorites like “Baby Beluga,” as well as songs from his new album -- his 25th, called Dog on the Floor. We caught up with the beloved performer ahead of his tour stop in the Bay State next month. Raffi will be performing two shows at The Hanover Theatre in Worcester on June 1.

1.

You’ve been singing for children for over four decades. Was it always your intention to have a career entertaining little ones, or did it happen by chance?

I’ve been asked this so often, I published an autobiography, “The Life Of A Children’s Troubadour,” to tell my story. A struggling folksinger, I got my start in entertaining children in a nursery school on a rug on the floor with a dozen young kids and three teachers. That first session went well and I was asked to return.

In 1976 I recorded a kids’ album, Singable Songs For The Very Young. Its instant popularity and that of its successor More Singable Songs opened up a whole new career in singing for children and families. Now in my fifth decade of this work, I’m very fortunate to still be doing it.

2.

You’ve never advertised to children or made any commercial endorsements.

Why is that so important to you?

It is simply unethical to exploit innocence, that’s why I’ve never allowed my music to be marketed to kids directly. Respect for children has been the core value throughout my career. Our young possess a dignity all their own, worthy of respect. As for not doing endorsements, I’ve wanted my name and my music to be about the music I share, not some commercial product to sell an impressionable audience.

3.

5.

What should one expect at a Raffi concert?

A whole lot of love! And, a really fun singalong.

6.

You started singing for children in 1974. How has childhood – or children – changed since then?

Young children’s needs are universal.

That’s why the mission of my foundation is to advance Child Honouring as a universal ethic.

7.

8.

You started a non-profit, the Raffi Foundation for Child Honouring, with the motto “respecting earth and child.” Can you explain a bit about that mission?

Child Honouring is an integrated vision that connects person, culture and planet in a unique way, with the Child at its heart.

Tell us about “Dog on the Floor.”

Is it something that your fans from the very beginning will find familiar? Or has your musical style evolved over the years?

My songs are inspired by real life events, and when I acquired a lovable puppy, it did inspire this “Dog” album.

It’s fair to say that the music evolves as I personally evolve.

What’s still on your Bucket List – musically, or just in general?

I want to stay healthy and make good music. My deepest desire is to be of service to the greatest good. The online course in Child Honouring, just launched by the Raffi Foundation, is an important way that I can be of service to my fans and to the world. I encourage your readers to visit raffifoundation.org and have a look at this course offering.

4.

What’s it like to perform for multiple generations? There must be something special about connecting parents and their children through music?

It’s a thrill to hear families singing together, and to hear older voices mixed in among the young.

I love the participation of the audience that has come to play with the music they love. I love the singalong and hearing voices belting out “Baby Beluga,” and the laughter when I sing something funny.

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48 MAY2019