could not be trusted with their ‘deep secrets.’” In other words, boys are just as emotionally connected to other boys as girls are with girls. Laurie McDonald said her 11-year-old son has suffered breakups with boys he thought were his friends. But her son, she says, will sometimes do what he calls a “do-over.” It’s an attempt by her son and another boy to restore their friendship. As for playtime, Dr. Rao says, “Indoor, solitary, technology-driven play is bad for the boy brain.” Outdoor play, he says, develops social skills because they’re forced –
often without knowing – to seek a compromise so everyone enjoys playing together.
The Mama’s Boy in the Office In the United States, about 72 million women are in the workforce and their numbers are expected to increase, the U.S. Department of Labor reports. That means if today’s boys are to be successful in their careers, Kate Stone Lombardi suggests, they’ll need skills only mom can teach because tomorrow’s men, she writes, will enter an office “that values brains over brawn
… thinking and communication skills over physical power and stamina.” The Harvard Business School, Lombardi writes, recognizing the high numbers of women in the workplace, recently added a course that develops students’ emotional intelligence and helps them learn how others see them. “In other words, a course more oriented to traditionally female strengths,” Lombardi writes.
How can men best communicate with women?
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“If you imply we (women) are selfish, insensitive, thoughtless – anything in the realm of bitch – then you just lost the relationship,” says Daneen Skube, a Seattle-based communications expert who’s counseled corporate executives on ways to improve their communication skills. “Let her know she’s generous, thoughtful, kind, and she’ll be his new best friend and ally,” she says. Women, Dr. Skube says, need to understand men’s biggest fear is inadequacy while men need to know that women’s biggest fear is being considered mean. “The new bravery is men sharing their feelings,” she says.
What is a Married Mama’s Boy Like? “They treat their wives like they’re a million bucks,” says Boston University Nurse Bonnie Brown about her two adult sons and the relationship they have with their wives. Korinna Driscoll says she married a “mama’s boy” in Kevin. “On our first date, I noticed immediately he was the most mature guy I had been out with,” she says. “He’s very respectful and comfortable around women.” Korinna says Kevin’s three other brothers, like him, married strong women, three of whom are teachers. “He’s a great father (to his three sons) and very responsive to what I say and very sensitive,” says Korinna about her husband. Are marriages between younger people – who’ve been exposed to the notion that there’s no shame and stigma in expressing their emotions – different than ones between older people, perhaps even senior citizens? “A lot of (marriage counseling) involves getting men to talk, getting them to communicate their feelings,” says Richard Rein, a Braintree marriage counselor. “Women also play a role so that when men are communicating, they’re being supportive of it and trying to draw them out.” “Younger couples I see tend to be more expressive than older ones. They’re more emotive than the older generation so the message is we’re seeing a gradual, slight change from older generations, but there’s still a lot of work to do,” he adds. Doug Page is a freelance writer living with his wife and two children in Medfield. Editor’s Note: This is the first of a two part series.