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baystateparent FREE

MAY 2016

Massachusetts’ Premier Magazine For Families Since 1996

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table of contents MAY 2016

VOLUME 21 The nostalgia has been thick over the past couple of months, as our staff prepped this, our 20th anniversary issue. Creative Director Paula Ethier, the only remaining employee of that inaugural 1996 staff and a veteran of all 240 baystateparent issues, has been very kind as I’ve peppered her with questions about the magazine’s history. She’s

3

1.

NUMBER 1

shared myriad stories, many of which made me laugh out loud, and made this experience very fun.

I hope that enjoyment translates to you, our reader, as the original staff of the first several years of bsp (then named Today’s Parent), was kind enough to return with their reflections of what life — and the magazine — was like back then. Today’s staff takes a look at several key topics in 2016 family

life — education, mental health, parenting, technology, and more — comparing and contrasting the changes in the parenting landscape over the past two decades.

As a baystateparent reader for years before I was an employee, I loved hearing — and reading — about the magazine’s history. I hope you’ll enjoy it, too, and join us for the next 20.

— Melissa Shaw, editor in chief

things we learned

Our 20th Anniversary

while making the may issue

According to the Tears Foundation, 1 in 4 women experience pregnancy or infant loss. On page 36, learn how the nonprofit’s new Massachusetts chapter is looking to support Bay State parents — financially and emotionally.

2.

Actor Henry Winkler was in his 30s and already famous as The Fonz when he realized he had been dyslexic his entire life. Turn to page 38 and discover how Winkler and co-author Lin Oliver are making a difference in the lives of children with learning challenges with their funny and frank book series featuring a second-grader with dyslexia.

3.

Statistics show that the probability of a child being abducted are a fraction of 1% and violent crimes have fallen by 50% nationally over the past decade. So why are parents so fearful of letting their children out of their sight? You can thank a thinking error called “the availability heuristic.” Turn to page 26 to learn what that is and why it affects parents so. owner and publisher KIRK DAVIS associate publisher KATHY REAL kreal@baystateparent.com

14 18 20 22 26

Looking Back: Reflections from our founding staff Front & Center: Our Favorite Covers Then & Now: How Life Has Changed Since 1996 EDUCATION: Massachusetts Public Schools: Achievement & Controversy PARENTING: Are Today’s Parents Too Worried About Their Kids?

28

FINALLY FOREVER: How Technology Has Changed Adoption

30

MENTAL HEALTH: The Rise of Childhood Anxiety

34

TECHNOLOGY: Families Are Plugged In — and Tuned Out

multimedia editor MONICA HAMILTON monica@baystateparent.com ADVERTISING

director of sales REGINA STILLINGS 508-865-7070 ext. 210 editor in chief regina@baystateparent.com MELISSA SHAW editor@baystateparent.com account executives creative director KATHY PUFFER PAULA MONETTE ETHIER 508-865-7070 ext. 211 pethier@holdenlandmark.com kathy@baystateparent.com senior graphic designer SHAUNA WHARTON STEPHANIE MALLARD 508-963-7154 design@baystateparent.com shauna@baystateparent.com CREATIVE

22 West Street, Millbury, MA 01527 • 508-865-7070

BAYSTATEPARENT 9

in every issue 11 12 34

MEET OUR CONTRIBUTORS

35 35 38

CIRCLE OF FRIENDS: May Area Adoption Events

40

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO: May Calendar Of Family Events

51

THE THINKING PARENT: How To Help Children Deal With Peer Rejection

54

DIVORCE AND SINGLE PARENTING: Traveling With Children: Key Co-Parent Concerns

56

COUNTDOWN TO CAMP: The Perfect Books For Summer Camp Fun

BSP ONLINE FINALLY FOREVER: How Technology Has Changed Adoption

MAY’S CHILD: Meet Veronica

62

VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE: How The Fonz Is Helping Readers With Learning Differences

64

ASK THE EXPERT: Cord Blood Banking: Inside The Basic Facts

66

TAKE 8: baystateparent Owner and Publisher Kirk Davis

OUR MAY FAVORITES: Facts, Finds & Freebies

Ripe 52

BITES: Super practical dish-washing must-haves; Earth-friendly alternatives to sandwich bags; key to a stylish, stainless steel lunch; Mars to remove all artificial color from products; and more.

Feature 36

Parents Heal, Provide Healing to Those Suffering an Infant Death

Fitness & Enrichment for the Whole Family!

Kai, 2; Jalon, 8; Tyler, 13; Mia, 11; and Juliana, 7

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MAY CONTRIBUTORS Attorney Irwin M. Pollack is founder and lead attorney of Pollack Law Group, P.C. (PollackLawGroup.com) and a divorced father himself. He shares insights and information about co-parenting on his weekly radio talk show, “Talking About Divorce,” which can be heard weekends on WRKO in Boston (AM 680), WTAG in Worcester (AM 580/94.9 FM), WXTK on the Cape (95.1 FM), and WHYN in Springfield (AM 560).

Shianna Cruz is a behavioral learning assistant in the Grafton Public Schools and a graduate student clinician in the Mental Health Counseling program at Becker College. She provides counseling services to adults, children, and families through the Counselor Training Clinic (CTC) at Becker College in Leicester. Visit mhcclinic.becker.edu for more information about available low-cost counseling services at the CTC.

Massachusetts mom Leslie Reichert is known as the Green Cleaning Coach and is aiming to change the world — “one spray bottle at a time.” A national lecturer and author of The Joy Of Green Cleaning, you can find her at greencleaningcoach.com, on Facebook (GreenCleaningCoach), Twitter (@ GreenCleanCoach), and Pinterest (cleaningcoach).

Joan Goodchild is a Shrewsbury mother of two and editor of a business publication serving security and risk professionals.

Heather Kempskie is a freelance writer and mother of two from Bellingham.

Doug Page is a Medfield father of two whose newspaper career started in high school. He’s written stories, sold ads, and delivered newspapers during the morning’s wee hours. He’s covered stories as shocking as the crash of Delta flight 191 in Dallas many years ago to the recent controversy involving Common Core and standardized testing in Massachusetts.

Hong-Thao N. Thieu, MD, is an obstetrician and gynecologist at Tufts Medical Center, and director of the hospital’s OB/ GYN Residency Program. Dr. Thieu is also an assistant professor at Tufts University School of Medicine.

Got a story idea?

Interested in contributing to baystateparent?

Contact editor@baystateparent.com

Don’t forget to VOTE for your favorites in the Bay State VOTE today and you could WIN some great prizes!

Turn to page 21 for more details

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• Plymouth • Westboro • Ipswich BAYSTATEPARENT 11

Style.

bsp ONLiNE

Find it Here.

b

aystateparent turns 20 this month, and we’re looking back over the past two decades with stories and remembrances from those early years, as well as how the magazine has evolved.

You can always find the latest parenting news, contests, and giveaways — and me — at baystateparent.com, Facebook (baystateparent), Twitter (@baystateparent), and Instagram (baystateparent).

They Got It! Heather and family of Princeton are enjoying their recent win of the CodeMaster board game (below, left). While Scott of Sutton, Bradley of Leominster, Jenn of Rutland, and Cassandra of Grafton and their families had a great time at Monster Jam at the DCU in Worcester. This month there’s loads more prizes on tap, so make sure you visit baystateparent.com frequently and Like us on Facebook to stay on top of the latest giveaways and contests.

Congrats to our winners!

Congratulations to Valerie of Worcester, Wendy of Woburn, Carly of Marshfield, and Becca of Westborough, winners of last month’s newslettersubscriber-only giveaways! We are adding more contests and giveaways just for our Facebook and newsletter followers, so make sure you subscribe to our newsletter at baystateparent.com/newsletter/ and Like us on Facebook to stay on top of the latest chances to win.

Who is the best? You tell us!

What’s your favorite vacation spot? Restaurant? What’s the best birthday party location or dance studio? Go online to share your picks for your favorite entertainment, businesses, professionals, and more, and be entered to win a family season pass to Davis Farmland, a $425 value; a four-pack of tickets to Old Sturbridge Village, worth $112; or a $50 gift card to Nancy Chang’s Restaurant in Worcester. Voting closes May 21, so head online today and be heard!

-- Monica Hamilton, Multimedia Editor 12 MAY2016

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turns 20! baystateparent

Join us as we look back at how the magazine — and key issues facing families — have evolved.

Juliana; 7, Jacoby; 6, Tyler; 13, Kai; 2, Mia; 11, Serenitie-Love; 4 and Jalon; 8.

Photography by Shawna Shenette. Hair and Makeup by Rob Roy Hair Academy.

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Looking BACK BAYSTATEPARENT TURNS 20!

Happy Anniversary baystateparent: A Reflection

BY KELLEY SMALL

So

much happens in 20 years; 20 years equal a generation. Looking back to where our family was in 1996, it seems like a lifetime ago.

The two pieces of 1996 history that played the biggest role in our home were the debut of the Spice Girls and the Beanie Baby phenomenon (which, by the way, we just gave away). In a home with a 9-year-old and a 3-year-old, those two things were, by far, the most important things in their world!

One phenomenon that made its debut in Central Massachusetts was a new magazine, Today’s Parent, now called baystateparent. A question I am often asked is, “Why did you start Today’s Parent?” Here is my response.

Originally from Spencer, we had lived away from the area for several years, doing the things that one does in his or her mid-20s. My husband and I were married. We had two children and found that the priorities in our lives had dramatically changed, including the publications that we read.

When my husband and I moved to West Boylston in 1994 with two young children in tow, we were desperate to find answers to the following question: WHAT DOES ONE DO WITH CHILDREN IN THIS AREA? Of course, we did not have the lux-

14 MAY2016

ury of the resources of the Internet in 1996, as we do today. We relied on print advertising. Most of the niche publications in the area were geared toward single young adults. It was difficult to discover where a family could find the right stores, activities, birthday party locations, and so much more.

Since I was already in the publishing business, it seemed natural to begin to research the birth of a potential new publication. With the research done, a small-but-mighty staff was hired to launch what has now become a staple in the area.

Can you imagine your life without the resource of baystateparent?

A most fortunate acquisition was engaging Paula Ethier, who did the first mock design of the magazine, as art director. She was so excited to join our team and to have this new project to work on. Paula has carried her passion through every issue for all 20 years. Suffice it to say, very likely, baystateparent would not be here today if it weren’t for Paula’s vision and steadfast loyalty to the publication.

The other face of Today’s Parent was MaryJo Kurtz. She brought her ideas to the table and found a corral of writers willing to work for little money, who poured their heart and soul into well-written and well-rounded articles to which our

readers could relate. Our goal was to create a publication with a clear purpose. I believe we achieved that goal!

As the publication grew, so did our family. Often ideas for articles were based on current issues that our children were dealing with. When we did not have options for the covers, the children of our staff often graced them (they never seemed to mind).

Not only was this a publication for families, but the group that put it together also became a special family of its own.

Now in the very capable hands of Kirk Davis, baystateparent has more than lived out my dreams. Each month, I pick it up from the table in the entryway of our church and I pore over every page with pride.

I know the trials and tribulations that go into this monthly project,

and I also know that it continues to serve its purpose beyond my wildest expectations.

The Bible says, “To everything, there is a season.” Readers come and go as their children age and grow. There will be a new generation of readers who will be picking up baystateparent as new moms. They will look at it for the first time and I hope they will instantly realize that it is not an ordinary publication; it is published specifically with them in mind.

Happy 20th anniversary baystateparent! I look forward to reading you in the future, when I can look at your pages with the eyes of a new grandparent (no announcement here).

When that happens, I can only imagine that I will be looking for all of the same things that brought the first pages to life 20 years ago.

When my husband and I moved to West Boylston in 1994 with two young children in tow, we were desperate to find answers to the following question: WHAT DOES ONE DO WITH CHILDREN IN THIS AREA?

A Lot Happens in 20 Years

BY MARYJO KURTZ When baystateparent Editor-in-Chief Melissa Shaw recently mentioned the 20th anniversary of this magazine to me, I admit that I had a pang of wow. It was the same day I learned my 25-year-old son, Sam, had his bid accepted on his first property — so I was already pondering life’s milestones. With Melissa’s reminder, I was thinking, a lot happens in 20 years, doesn’t it?

Sam was just 5 when I met with the original owner of this magazine, Kelley Small, to talk about the editor job at what was then Today’s Parent.

We sat in her North Oxford office at Pedlar Publishing. She was excited to introduce a family magazine to Central Massachusetts, as she was both a publisher and the mother of two young girls in the area.

I was thrilled for the opportunity to write a resource for others who were young parents like me. It was

Congratulations, baystateparent!

BY CARRIE WATTU Congratulations baystateparent on two decades of being Massachusetts’ go-to publication for parents. The magazine remains a trusted community resource, and I’m grateful to have been a part of its history.

an opportunity to blend my journalism background and the magic of starting a family.

Together with Creative Director Paula Ethier, the mother of two young boys, the three of us ventured into new editorial territory. With each parenting experience we were having personally, we thought of new topics to discuss in the magazine. Our meetings were filled with ideas, problems, and solutions.

Photos for those early issues were mostly taken from our scrapbooks and the collections of our friends. It was an exciting time.

For the early issues of Today’s Parent, I spent hours calling area attractions looking for listings to put in our Calendar of Events. Within a few years, the announcements were coming into the magazine in such large amounts that we were running out of space to list them all. It was 1996, and the magazine had planted its Bay State roots.

Sam became a regular fixture in the office in those early years, often coloring or doing his homework while the adults around him finalized the pages of each monthly issue. This week, he told me that he remembers how busy everyone was, how big the building’s bathroom was, and where Paula used to sit. He recalled, too, playing with a frog the one time he was on the cover of the magazine; he was 7 at the time. We have the photograph framed on a wall in our family room.

In 2000, I resigned my position as editor to spend time with my new son, Joey. It was a tough decision to leave the Today’s Parent family, but it was made much easier by Editor Carrie Wattu, who continued to pub-

lish my stories through the years. As my children grew older, the topics of my pieces changed: peer pressure, first cell phones, choosing a college.

Through all of my years of parenting, I could count on this publication to have my back, providing a creative outlet as I grew my writing career while also publishing quality local stories to help me raise my two children.

When I returned as Editor-in-Chief a few years ago, the publication had changed hands. It was now called baystateparent, it was owned

lished local resource.

Paula is still there, now the mother of two grown boys. My desk was next to hers and we spent much time laughing, catching up, and sharing stories of our nearly grown boys.

It was very difficult for me to again say goodbye when in 2014 I decided to accept a new position outside of baystateparent.

But while my life has grown in a new direction, a little piece of my heart holds dear the time I spent at baystateparent. It grew, as did my career as a journalist. Its stories

by notable publisher Kirk Davis, its offices were in Millbury, and it was ready to commit to a Website.

The readership expanded to cover the entire state. No longer were we scrambling for photos from our personal collections; we were now considering pictures from a pool of talented local models. It was, and is, personally rewarding to know I had a role in helping to launch this estab-

changed, as did my own.

I could reminisce a bit longer — and certainly share dozens of stories — from my years at this magazine, but Sam just invited me to see his new condo. He is about to start a new chapter in his life, just like baystateparent. A lot happens in 20 years, doesn’t it? Congratulations, bsp.

I was hired as editor in 2000 by the publisher at the time, Kelley Small.

I was brand-new to publishing and parenthood. Five months pregnant with my first child, I left my teaching job to start a new career at the magazine. I was excited!

Life was low-tech then. We saved our stories on floppy discs. Calendar listings, story ideas, and news releases poured in by mail. Email was used sparingly. We sorted through stacks of printed proofs to choose the cover photo.

When my daughter was born, I used film to capture her milestones — and only had 24 chances to get the shot. I would send away to have doubles printed and distribute them to grandparents and relatives.

My husband and I didn’t have cell phones. I don’t know how I reminded him to pick up diapers!

During my nearly 12 years with bsp, technology evolved and so did my family. I welcomed twin daughters! We eventually got cell phones (truth be told: one is still a flip) — and texting, email, Facebook,

FaceTime, Siri, and Google Maps have become the norm.

Life is high-tech — and hectic — today. My daughters are now 15 and 12 (times two). I owe much of our family fun through the years to the bsp calendar and advertisers. So many of our day trips and adventures were to farms, ice cream stands, museums, nature sanctuar-

ies, and libraries — all inspired from bsp.

Kudos to Kirk Davis, Paula Ethier, Melissa Shaw, MaryJo Kurtz, and a legion of talented writers and photographers for their years of serving the community.

Here’s to many more! Happy anniversary!

BAYSTATEPARENT 15

Congratulations to our Mommy & Me Photo Contest Winners

GRAND PRIZE WINNER Valerie Casagranda and Camden

RUNNERS UP Lakesia Frazier of Worcester

Happy Mother’s Day! from

&

Reda Stevens of Athol

All votes were reviewed for eligibility and legitimacy in accordance with the official rules of the contest. If multiple accounts were detected for a single voter, the accounts and votes from that voter were voided. Eligible entries were limited to those with a primary residence within a 60-mile radius of baystateparent magazine’s office located at 22 West Street, Millbury, MA. Determination of eligibility of votes was at the sole discretion of baystateparent magazine and its decision is final.

16 MAY2016

BAYSTATEPARENT 17

BAYSTATEPARENT TURNS 20!

FRONT AND CENTER: 

JANUARY 2003

MAY 2005

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SINGLE WITH CHILDREN AN ADOPTION STORY

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Plan The Perfect Party

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Mammoth Mother’s Day Issue

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Sesame Street Legend Caroll Spinney Speaks Q&A WITH KISS 108’S LISA DONOVAN How To Buy A Bra That Actually Fits

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The Money Issue

BAYSTATEPARENT TURNS 20!

Our Favorite Covers And The Woman Who Designed Them All

BY MELISSA SHAW

O

ver the past 20 years, baystateparent Magazine has had 2 owners, 2 names, 6 editors-in-chief, 6 offices in 4 towns, 240 issues, and 1 creative director who, literally, has seen it all.

Paula Monette Ethier was working as a graphic designer for publisher Kelley Small at equine magazine The Horsemen’s Yankee Pedlar when Small decided Central Massachusetts parents needed a magazine that covered their world: news about children and families and, more importantly, where to go and what to do for fun.

Ethier recalls it took six months to

develop the advertising base and magazine prototype and hire a very small staff before the first issue of Today’s Parent rolled off the press in May 1996 (top left, opposite page).

“We were all just getting our feet wet,” she says. “We all worked in publishing previously, in the equine world, so advertising really doesn’t change, but editorial certainly does.”

As creative director, Ethier was — and is — in charge of the magazine’s look, combining stories and photos on pages to entice a reader and grab their attention.

While today her inbox is jammed full of messages from parents offering their children as models for the

magazine’s stories, fashion shoots, or cover, in the early days, it was quite different. The young publication was just building its reputation and getting itself known, which left the staff saying, “There’s no place like home” when it came to finding artwork to accompany stories.

“In the beginning, we were barebones,” Ethier notes. “We’d say, ‘Oh, it’s the party issue!’, so everybody brought photos of their kids’ birthday parties.”

She’d hit up her friends, as well (“You guys ski, do you have a photo?” “Got any pictures of your kids on a beach?”), which led to a fun beginning of the month at her house.

“My kids, when they knew I was bringing it home from the press that day, they’d scramble in the house to see their pictures, or their friends’,” she laughs.

Those early years of Today’s Parent were not unlike looking through a family photo album for the original staff, as the children of Small, Ethier, and Editor-in-Chief MaryJo Kurtz all appeared on the cover at various times and inside of many issues.

“How do I get my kid on the cover?”

Ethier is also famously in charge of the magazine’s cover — choosing the model, clothes, and design that best reflect each issue’s theme. Over the years, the cover has become a highly sought-after goal of many parents and their camera-loving children, which leads to the #1 question Ethier is asked: “How do I get my kid on the cover?”

Her answer: “Submit a photo, you never know.” (Pssst, the email is models@baystateparent.com; also look for regular casting calls on our Facebook page: facebook.com/baystateparent/) While it may surprise parents, a child’s looks aren’t the most important attribute when Ethier is choosing a child — or children — for the cover. Rather, it’s their personality: how they interact with the photographer, which isn’t an easy task for a person of any age.

In a candid photo submitted by a parent, a child is most likely comfortable and having fun because the photographer is Mom or Dad. When that child is then photographed at

the magazine’s studio — with lots of bright lights and strangers — the setting could, understandably, produce a child who is very different from the one in the submitted photo.

“They can light up or they can be super shy. You never ever know what you’re going to get. Some listen really well to people they don’t know, others don’t,” she laughs. “It’s a surprise. It’s a surprise every time.”

Ethier estimates only about a halfdozen of baystateparent’s 200+ covers were children from out of state. The overwhelming majority are readers’ children, everyday Massachusetts kids you see in the grocery store, baseball field, or playground.

How to photograph children Given her role, Ethier has seen thousands of photographs of children, and offers up a few tips on how parents can take a good picture.

First, don’t force it.

“I’ve done this myself when my kids were little and you’ve got to get that Christmas card taken and they’re not in the mood,” she remembers.

“Everybody can end up crying, including the mother! You can’t force it.”

Next, carefully check your background. “Really take a minute and look,” she advises.

Is your child standing in front of a plant, which then looks like it’s growing out of his head?

“Really look at what’s behind them, you’d be amazed at what people don’t see,” she adds. “We did a photograph one time, it was a family of four for the cover. The mother was in such a rush to get to the studio, her son had two left shoes on this feet and nobody noticed until it was said and done. We got the photos, and it was like, ‘What’s wrong with his feet?’”

Looking back Just like her former colleagues (their reflections can be found on pages 14 and 15), Ethier has a hard time believing two decades have passed. Her sons, who were 6 and 8 when the magazine debuted, grew up in tandem with it.

“It seems like Kelley was just talking about starting Today’s Parent yesterday,” she says. “It flew by.’

Ethier, with sons Nick and Bryan, who appeared on the November 1997 cover.

BAYSTATEPARENT 19

Then and BAYSTATEPARENT TURNS 20!

bsp STATS

• Magazine names: 2 (Today’s Parent, baystat • Owners: 2 • Number of offices: 6 • Editors-in-Chief: 6 • Art directors: 1 • Issues: 240

NOW

A look at how life has changed

since 1996

TOP WEBSITES

BABY NAMES 1996 • Michael • Matthew • Jacob

2016 • Noah • Liam • Mason

• Emily • Jessica • Ashley

• Emma • Olivia • Ava

1996 • AOL.com • WebCrawler.com • Netscape

SPORTS CHAMPIONSHIPS IN THE PREVIOUS 20 YEARS

2016 • Google.com • Youtube.com • Facebook.com

1976-1996 • 4 titles (all Celtics) 1996-2016 9 titles: • Red Sox 3 • Bruins 1 • Pats 4 • Celtics 1

TOP SELLING 1996 COMPUTER • Compaq VENDORS • IBM • Packard Bell

2015 • Lenovo • HP • Dell

UMASS AMHERST TUITION 1996 • In-state: $9,641 ($5,413 tuition, $4,228 room and board) • Out of state: $16,408 ($12,180 tuition, $4,228 room and board)

AVERAGE MOVIE TICKET 1996 $4.42 2016 $8.70 20 MAY2016

CELL PHONES

GAS 1996 $1.23 2016 $2.04

2016 • In-state $25,674 ($14,171 tuition, $11,503 room and board) • Out of state: $42,007 ($30,504 tuition, $11,503 room and board)

1996

2016

• Nokia 1610 • AT&T PocketNet • Motorola StarTAC

• iPhone • Samsung Galaxy • HTC One

Who’s The

teparent)

BEST?

Current owner Kirk Davis with original owner Kelley Small, 2002

TOP MOVIES

TOP TV SHOWS

1996

1996

• Independence Day • Twister • Mission: Impossible

• ER • Seinfeld • Friends

2015

2015/16

• Star Wars: The Force Awakens • Jurassic World • Furious 7

• Empire • The Big Bang Theory • Modern Family

and you could

TOP GAMING PLATFORMS 1996 • Game Boy • Nintendo 64 • PlayStation • Sega Saturn • Sega Genesis

YOU VOTE TODAY

Tell Us!

2016 • PlayStation 4 • Xbox One • Xbox 360

TOP SINGLES 1996 • Macarena – Los Del Rio • One Sweet Day – Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men • Because You Loved Me – Celine Dion APRIL 2016 • Work - Rihanna and Drake • 7 Years – Lukas Graham • No – Meghan Trainor

WIN

a family season pass to Davis Farmland, Sterling, 425 Value, a 4-Pack to Old Sturbridge Village, $112 Value or a $50 Gift Card to Nancy Chang

It’s easy! Go to

baystateparent .com/bestof and start voting for your favorites today!

Voting ends at midnight on Saturday, May 21.

BAYSTATEPARENT 21

BAYSTATEPARENT TURNS 20!

Massachusetts Public Schools: ACHIEVEMENT & CONTROVERSY Over the past 20 years, the state has ushered its public schools to new heights. So why are many still mad?

BY DOUG PAGE

If states earned medals for the accomplishment, Massachusetts would be awarded the gold for the way it transformed its K-12 public schools, making them some of the country’s best over the past 20 years. But that improvement has not come without controversy and critics.

Much of the progress is attributable to the state legislature and then-Gov. William Weld working together in the early ’90s to pass legislation that put more money into education; setting high standards; and, in 1998, introducing a new test, the Massachusetts Comprehensive Assessment System (MCAS), which measures the performance of students and teachers.

Now, two decades later, the rise of standardized testing and a nationwide educational framework known as Common Core are the hottest topics among the Commonwealth’s public school stakeholders: state and municipal officials, school superintendents, principals, teach22 MAY2016

ers, parents, and the children. The Massachusetts test, and the children who will take it over the next 20 years, are at a crossroads, and few claim they can predict which path the state will choose and what that will mean for the students who will walk it.

Before Common Core

Common Core is an educational framework currently adopted by 40 states. Proponents say the standards (such as, “By the end of the school year, a kindergartener will be able to count 1 to 100”) better prepare students for the future workforce.

Critics argue the series of gradespecific educational goals and ensuing testing force educators to change their unique curricula for the worse — “teaching to the test” — and place undue pressure on teachers and students.

But any economist examining

American public schools before Common Core would have seen 50 different state educational standards, making them ripe for standardization because that reduces the possibility that a high school graduate competent in their home state, say, Arkansas, is a failure in another, like Massachusetts.

In economics, standardization usually refers to a uniform system of mass production that allows manufacturers to build the same product in multiple manufacturing plants, using the same processes.

How does this relate to education? With Common Core adopted in about 80% of the country, it means that many of the nation’s 49 million public school children are receiving about the same education as the nearly 1 million public school children in Massachusetts, which adopted Common Core standards via a Massachusetts Board of Education (BOE) vote in 2010.

And while the Bay State had a strong assessment in its homegrown

MCAS test, Frederick Hess, a faculty associate at Harvard’s Program on Education Policy, says parents in other states weren’t receiving reliable information about their schools’ performance because their tests weren’t as good as the MCAS. This, some economists might say, makes the entire public school system across all 50 states ripe for one standardized test.

But due to politics and parent uprisings across the country, that’s isn’t happening. Many states are putting together their own hybrid version of an annual standardized test, rejecting a well-known existing standardized test option: the Partnership for Assessment for Readiness for College and Careers (PARCC).

Nationwide, critics, education officials, and parents have slammed the PARCC for a variety of reasons, everything from saying it’s poorly written to the fact that it’s designed to be taken on a computer.

Facing an almost 20-year-old MCAS due for an overhaul, even the BOE,

due to public anti-PARCC pressure, approved a compromise last November, voting for the creation of a hybrid standardized test dubbed “MCAS 2.0.” Slated to be first administered in 2017, officials say MCAS 2.0 will be composed of questions from the Commonwealth’s previous MCAS test with new ones from the PARCC. Massachusetts students currently undergo standardized testing starting in third grade, and it continues annually through eighth grade.

In 10th grade, students must pass a test (currently the MCAS) to become eligible to receive their high school diploma upon the completion of 12th grade.

Unfair Economics

Another criticism of standardized testing is that while it aims to bring parity to the classroom, it actually penalizes students from low-income and disadvantaged families.

“When I became mayor [in 2006], I started seeing kids who passed all of their high school classes — spent 13 years in school — receive nothing more than a certificate of attendance at their graduation ceremony,” former New Bedford Mayor Scott Lang said. “They’re referred to as ‘nonqualifying completers’ because they finished high school but didn’t get their diploma — all because they didn’t score high enough on the 10th grade MCAS test.”

The result? “They’re basically high school dropouts,” he added, noting they’ll struggle to find decent-paying jobs and further their education, the polar opposite goal of Common Core.

According to the Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education (DESE) website, in 2006, New Bedford’s senior high school class included 939 students, of which 57.4% graduated, about 539 students, while 26 seniors were designated “non-qualifying completers.”

Last year, New Bedford’s senior high school class dropped to 554 students. Nearly 58% graduated, while 46 seniors were designated “non-qualifying completers,” DESE reports.

Fall River, Holyoke, Lawrence, and Springfield which, like New Bedford, have average household incomes of less than $40,000, also saw lower high school graduation rates for their 2015 high school senior classes, around 70%, compared to some of the state’s higher income communities and school districts, such as Dover-Sherborn, Medfield, Newton, Wellesley, and Weston. Those cities and towns boast average household incomes over $140,000 and saw at least 95% of their high school seniors receive a diploma in 2015.

The numbers may prove what many critics, like Lisa Guisbond, who runs Boston-based Citizens for

Public Schools, say is true — standardized testing works against children from low-income households.

However, proponents point to another figure. Last year, the Bay State saw nearly 90% of its high school seniors graduate, a dramatic rise from nearly 80% in 2006.

Given this level of overall success, it seems unlikely that DESE, which oversees all Massachusetts public schools, or the BOE would stop requiring a test to determine whether public high school seniors are awarded their diplomas.

“The high school diploma awarded from a public school, because of the MCAS, isn’t weighted more heavily than the one from a private or parochial school,” Lang notes. “But the private school kid or one who went to a parochial school didn’t take a standardized test to earn their diploma.”

With Common Core

Since 2010, under President Barack Obama, “Race to the Top” funding from the U.S. Education Department (DOE) became available to state education departments provided they adopt Common Core standards for their public schools.

Unlike 1993, when there was a very loud and public debate about Massachusetts’s public schools, which led to legislation to improve them, there was little discussion prior to the July 2010 vote when the state BOE’s eight members unanimously approved Common Core.

Massachusetts was awarded a $250 million “Race to the Top” grant in 2010.

DESE officials say Common Core is a set of “frameworks” — what it expects children to know — but not a curriculum determining what children will learn throughout each grade.

“People can say they want us to teach music and literature, but the 900-pound gorilla is the standardized test,” Ludlow School Superintendent Todd Gazda said, referring to its influence on curriculum and teaching. “It influences what you do.”

All Massachusetts public school children in grades 3-8 are judged as either “advanced,” “proficient” or “needs improvement” on English and math skills by their scores on the annual standardized test, which in some grades also includes science.

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DESE’s charge, Commissioner Mitchell Chester says, is to make the Bay State’s public school children “college and career ready.”

Decades ago, Harvard economist John Kenneth Galbraith wrote that “the economic system” is a decisive influence in education.

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BAYSTATEPARENT TURNS 20!

Since the Commonwealth’s largest employers include Partners Healthcare, with more than 60,000 employees; the University of Massachusetts (20,000); financial firm State Street Corp (11,000); and defense contractor Raytheon (10,000), Galbraith still seems right.

Massachusetts needs educated citizens.

“The release of ‘A Nation at Risk’ in 1983 [a report from then-U.S. Secretary of Education Terrel Bell during the Reagan administration] marked a turning point in our educational system, and from that point on, we have seen an ever-escalating influence of corporate America on educational policies created by our federal and state legislatures,” Superintendent Gazda said. “This has shifted public education from working to create informed, wellrounded citizens to training individuals who will be good employees and meet the needs of corporate America.”

The irony, he says, is that the previous standards in public K – 12 education “gave us the individuals that put man on the moon, developed dramatic technological advances, and built our economic system and military industrial complex to one that made us the strongest, most powerful country in the world.”

Common Core Headed to Mass Supreme Court The battle over Common Core standards in Massachusetts is heading to court.

A grassroots in-state organization of parents, teachers and citizens, Common Core Forum (commoncoreforum.org), is trying to get a question placed on this November’s ballot, asking voters if they want the state to drop the controversial Common Core State Standards (CCSE) for

Massachusetts public schools and revert to those used prior to Common Core’s adoption in 2010.

However, a group of 10 people, including former Massachusetts Education Commissioner Robert Antonucci; Stephanie Gray, president of the Massachusetts Parent Teacher Association (MPTA); and Dianne Kelly, superintendent of Revere Public Schools, is firing back,

challenging its constitutionality in Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court saying, in essence, that it fails to meet the Commonwealth’s legal requirements under its constitution.

The lawsuit was filed against State Attorney General Maura Healey, who deemed the potential ballot question constitutional last December, and Secretary of the Commonwealth William Galvin, who certified the

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voters’ signatures, requesting the question be placed on the November ballot.

“In this litigation, the Plaintiffs challenge that certification and ballot placement, maintain that the petition does not meet constitutional requirements, and ask that this Court quash the certification by the Attorney General (Ms. Healey),” the lawsuit says.

In the lawsuit, Antonucci and his group argue that the Massachusetts state legislature is empowered to allow the state Board of Education (BOE) to set the Commonwealth’s educational standards for its public K-12 schools and, as a result, CCSE should remain in place. The BOE adopted Common Core in July 2010.

Brian McNiff, a spokesman with Galvin’s office, says if the antiCommon Core ballot initiative is approved by Massachusetts voters, it will become law within 30 days of the election being certified by the Governor’s Council, which usually happens around Thanksgiving.

McNiff also notes that the state legislature retains the power to amend or repeal the anti-Common Core ballot should it become law.

“If a petition is overwhelmingly approved by the voters, the legislature is usually hesitant to go against it,” he said.

Worcester School Committee member Donna Colorio and her group, Common Core Forum, says they gath-

ered more than 100,000 signatures for the anti-Common Core question to be placed on the November ballot.

Two rounds of voter signatures are required to place the question on the ballot. Of the 100,000 gathered in the first round, more than 80,000 were validated by Galvin’s office, which exceeded the required 64,750 signatures, or 3 percent of all the voters in the 2014 election.

This month, Colorio and her group will be working to gather 10,792 new signatures, or half of 1 percent of the voters in the 2014 election, required for the second round.

“The big education special interests are trying to silence us, but the people will prevail and our voices will be heard in the voting booth,” Colorio said regarding the lawsuit.

“If this petition goes forward, we’re saying to school districts that we want the standards we had 10 years ago [set in 2001 and 2004],” MPTA’s Gray said. “Is that what we want for our children?”

It’s unknown when or if the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court will rule on the lawsuit, which was submitted in early March. If the court decides not to rule on the case and the required second-round signatures are collected and validated, the question will appear on the November ballot.

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BAYSTATEPARENT TURNS 20!

RUNNING SCARED: Are today’s parents TOO WORRIED about their kids?

Raising a child is risky business in today’s world — or is it?

BY JOAN GOODCHILD

As

a child growing up in a small Boston suburb, I have fond memories of wandering the local woods with friends, riding my bike to the corner store for treats, or just hanging out with neighborhood friends until dinnertime.

Many others in my generation have similar memories, and talk nostalgically about their childhood as the “good ’ol days.” But these same people, who are raising children themselves now, are also quick to note that their own kids will likely not experience the kind of carefree, independent fun they enjoyed in childhood.

26 MAY2016

Why not? Because far fewer parents today allow their children the kind of long leash they were given while growing up. Thanks to a nonstop bombardment of bad news, they are terrified something horrible is going to happen as soon as their child is out of sight, according to Keri Augusto, a licensed clinical psychologist and professor of psychology and counselor education at Becker College in Worcester.

“As our access to information increases via the Internet, awareness of every little accident comes pouring into our mailboxes, and parents experience a cognitive bias, or thinking error, that social psychologists refer to as ‘the availability heuristic,’” said Augusto, a parent herself. “When an event is emotionally charged, it becomes more ‘available’ in our memories, and we have a tendency to overestimate the likelihood of the event occurring again. Stories about hurt children necessarily evoke emotion and often rise to the top of the newsfeed.”

As a result, many parents today are quick to note the risks associated with letting a child roam free outside without an adult. What if the child is kidnapped during

an unsupervised walk around the block? Although the dangers a child faces each day are no higher today than they were 20 or 30 years ago, awareness of them has done a number on American parents’ psyche. A quick poll on social networks made it clear that many parents today are sufficiently frightened.

“I feel like I’m aware of more dangers now than my mom was when I was growing up,” said Cristina Cabrero, a Worcester mom with four children. “I always fear kidnapping, rape, murder, child trafficking, drunk driving, sexual predators, online predators, shootings, home invasions, etc. I want them to have their own experiences as children, but I’m always reminding them of the dangers out there. And when I do that, I wonder how much is it affecting their emotional state.”

While the fearful events Cabrero notes are certainly horrible, and do sometimes happen, statistics show that the risk of many — particularly kidnapping and so-called “stranger danger,” the ultimate fear of most parents — are statistically tiny. For example, FBI figures note that between 1993 and 2012, violent crime was down 48% and murders were down 50% over the previous

10-year period.

And statistics from the U.S. Bureau of Justice reveal that among missing children reports each year, most are children who have simply miscommunicated with parents or gotten briefly lost. Of those actually kidnapped, 9% are kidnapped by a family member in a custody dispute and 3% are abducted by non-family members, usually during the commission of a crime such as robbery or sexual assault. The kidnapper is often someone the child knows.

Only about 100 children, a small fraction of 1%, are kidnapped each year in the type of “stranger danger” abductions we hear about in the news.

But statistics be damned in the eyes of many parents today, including those who want to get involved in how other parents are raising their children. In a case out of Maryland recently, parents Danielle and Alexander Meitiv were charged with neglect after it was reported that they allowed their 6- and 10-year-old children to walk home alone from an area park (the charges were eventually dropped).

The case is one of many in recent years that points out that our current child-rearing society is simply

uncomfortable with allowing parents to give their kids a bit of unsupervised freedom.

“If I were to send my 5-year-old niece out into the woods to explore by herself for an afternoon, I might be charged with neglect,” Augusto said. “Certainly I would be looked down upon by other parents, and someone would likely admonish, ‘She could have been taken or hurt.’

The truth is, abduction by strangers is no more common now than it has ever been, and the risk of my niece getting injured while running through the forest is about the same as it was when I spent my youth exploring the rocks, stumps, and the swampy brook that ran through the wooded acre behind my own house. I did it alone or with other 5-year-olds. And I did it often.”

The notion that children are constantly in peril and need an adult to supervise them every moment all the way up until college is a unique attitude created by this current generation of parents, according to Lenore Skenazy, author of the book Free Range Kids and founder of the Free Range movement, which advocates allowing children more independence in daily life.

“This is a new way of thinking of children,” Skenazy said. “We used to

think they had enough wits to get around or play in the woods and come back out alive. But somehow the thinking switched to seeing them less as humans and more as human-like dolls.”

Skenazy found herself in the crosshairs of a generation of scared parents in 2008 when she made headlines for a New York Sun column she authored in which she explained why she allowed her 9-year-old son to ride the New York subway on his own. The outrage, and resulting comments, ranged from accusations of child abuse to calling Skenazy “The Worst Mother in America.” All of it proving to Skenazy that a change in mindset among American parents was due.

“When my parents were raising me, there wasn’t a 24/7 media cycle,” she noted. “After the Adam Walsh and Etan Patz abductions, the media found it was worthwhile to keep showing us a story of a white, middle-class child that has been abducted. That’s what gets attention; when a child that is small and cute and white is missing.”

Should we be allowing young children more freedom to explore as we did as children? Skenazy thinks so, and founded the Free Range movement (freerangekids.com) as a call to action to this generation —

imploring them to give kids more space, time, and freedom to be kids.

“Between cars and technology and culture norms, kids aren’t allowed off the grid — ever,” Skenazy said. “And if you don’t get some time on your own, you don’t really get to figure out on your own what fascinates you, what turns you on.”

Augusto, who counsels students at Becker College, notes many kids now present with anxiety and fear disorders. She thinks a change in parenting mindset needs to happen now, or we risk stunted emotional development in the name of overprotection.

“The problem with this trend toward over-protective parenting is that it denies children some of their basic developmental opportunities,” Augusto noted. “An early childhood education researcher in Norway, Ellen Beate Sandlotter, provided an evolutionary perspective on children and risky play.

She concluded that children have a need to do things they find risky and exciting, a need to feel a little scared and dangerous. This goes back to our understanding of social development and the child’s need to develop a sense of mastery over their world. A child does not need to be in danger, but they need to

feel as if they are in a little danger so they can overcome that fear and develop a sense of independence and competence, so they can learn to take responsibility and see the connections between cause and effect. Sandlotter described a number of different experiences that help children discover this sense of efficacy, including exploring heights, handling dangerous tools, and exploring on one’s own. And she further warns that if parents do not allow children to experience these things because we vowed to ‘protect’ them, then we may end up raising a generation of fearful, anxious children.”

As part of her speaking around the country about the Free Range movement, Skenazy challenges parents to choose one activity they would be comfortable allowing their child to do independently. It could be walking the dog alone, or cooking a meal without help. Let them do it once, and if it goes OK, build on that experience and allow little bit more freedom from there. In doing this, she says, you’ll be giving them a rare gift not often given these days.

“Unsupervised time,” she said, “that’s a real treasure that is dwindling. I put it up there with the ice caps.”

BAYSTATEPARENT 27

FINALLY FOREVER

How Technology Has Impacted Adoption

BY MELISSA SHAW

As

in nearly every other aspect of family life, the past 20 years has delivered major changes for the adoption community, from the double-edged sword of technology to identifying new communities of potential adoptive parents, to better understanding the support needs of children seeking forever homes and adoptive families.

Lisa Funaro is executive director of the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE), a 58-year-old private nonprofit that serves as the central link between families interested in adoption, the state Department of Children and Families, and its contracted adoption agencies.

In the mid-’90s, Funaro says the organization’s main focus was targeting different demographic groups as potential adoptive families, seeking greater racial and ethnic diversity.

“We were working very hard trying to recruit adoptive families in the African-American and Latino communities. We began to focus on those groups we weren’t reaching successfully,” she notes. “What was striking is there was no talk at all about the LGBT community; it was like this group didn’t exist. It’s remarkable 20 years ago we weren’t talking about this at all, and now it’s so much in the forefront of the adoption world.”

Today, she says, LGBT families account for more than 20% of their client families.

“There’s such synergy between how our adopted kids feel and how many of our LGBT families have felt in their own awakenings,” she adds.

“That has been such a natural connection. They’re great advocates [for adoption] because they’ve been advocating for themselves.”

Technology: The Positives While technology has brought improvements and ensuing challenges to the world, so has it to the adoption community.

“There are many wonderful things about technology. It has absolutely forever changed the match28 MAY2016

ing process,” says Karen Cheyney, co-founder and director of Bright Futures Adoption Center, a licensed, nonprofit, domestic Massachusetts agency specializing in open adoption. “The world is much smaller. A woman in Massachusetts can see online a waiting family from Ohio and say, ‘Hey, I want to work with that family in Ohio.’ People can view a much broader selection of potential adoptive families.”

Funaro echoes the sentiment, noting its Website is “the No. 1 way we create matches.” Website and online access to information have allowed MARE to meet information seekers 24-7, an ability impossible before the Web. “Technology has been absolutely huge,” she says. “Now people’s expectations are that they’re going to be able to find information at all hours of the night and it’s going to be accurate. They’re going to be able to respond and get a response.

It made us incredibly more accountable moment by moment.”

Cheyney notes that the Internet has also provided additional support and resources for adoptive families.

“Technology has been wonderful in terms of connecting people,” she adds. “If you’re struggling with an issue with your foster child and there’s a great supportive listserv or chat, [there are] great resources online.”

The Internet also provides a medium for adoptive parents and birth parents to stay in touch.

“For a lot of our families, the way they maintain their ongoing contact is by posting information, photos, and updates on a password-protected Website,” she says.

Technology: The Challenges However, technology also has its downside.

“Technology has blown adoption open in every way because children and families can find one another without the assistance of an agency.

A name and a picture, and you can go online and find anybody,” Cheyney notes.

And that is not always positive or safe, she adds. Technology gives adopted children, even those as young as pre-teens, the ability to find and potentially meet up with birth family members without parental permission or knowledge.

“A 10-year-old can go online and maybe find her big sister living a couple of communities away, and big sister says, ‘I’ll meet you at the mall.’

And all of a sudden, our 10-year-old is off on what could be a very dangerous jaunt,” she notes. “[Adopted children] could meet someone that may not be safe or nurturing for them. Even though the person may be a relative and someone the child feels an attachment to, it may not be safe.”

The Internet and connectivity of today’s world has also created real opportunity for unethical practices, Cheyney says.

“In Massachusetts, we’re heavily regulated as adoption agencies,” she notes. “We have to be licensed nonprofit organizations. We have to provide counseling to women. We have to engage in the process all through a licensed agency. There’s no such thing as a private adoption here.

But in lots of other states, a private adoption is allowed. An attorney can match a woman with a family and there’s not necessarily an opportunity for counseling for that woman.”

Key to Bright Futures’ mission is providing education, counseling, resources, and services to pregnant women considering adoption, ensuring they feel respected and supported. These are critical to a healthy adoption process for all stakeholders, Cheyney says: birth parents, adoptive parents, and the child.

“In many states, an adoption agency can be for-profit. So what we’re seeing oftentimes now with technology is that there are women here in Massachusetts who are not getting the support that they need because they’re doing it all online,” she adds.

“For-profit organizations are advertising here in Massachusetts even though it’s against our law for them to advertise here when they are not licensed here. If you’re an expectant parent who’s looking at adoption

for the first time, you can quickly get into a working relationship with someone who isn’t going to provide you with the support that you need.”

Bright Futures is working to address this troubling trend via the attorney general’s office “because it’s hurting women and children,” Cheyney says. “It’s changing the flavor of the business for all adoption agencies here. We don’t have the cash or ability to compete with a for-profit agency that’s licensed in 16 states.”

Better understanding adopted families Another key development over the past two decades is the fact that those serving the community better understand the needs of adopted children and families. “[The kids] really have not changed,” Funaro says. “The biggest difference is what we know about them and how to parent them. We’ve come very far in our expectations of adoptive families. We’ve moved from assuming that a family will solve all the problems these kids have experienced, all the trauma they’ve experienced, to realizing, ‘What are we, nuts?’ These families need support, these kids have issues. We can’t just leave them at the courthouse and say, ‘Great job! Have a good life!’

Twenty years ago, we didn’t have that emphasis. We didn’t have that acknowledgement that adoption is a lifelong process, it is not something that happens once, on a day, and you just move on.”

Adds Cheyney: “We had much less knowledge in the ’90s of the effect of trauma. We had a much poorer understanding about the importance of attachment and how kids form attachments.”

“We’ve changed our attitudes and our knowledge,” Funaro notes.

“There’s much more informed research on how kids are doing in adopted families. There’s much more money put out by federal and state governments to try to identify the barriers to finding families and keeping families intact afterward.”

MAY’S CHILD Veronica

Veronica is an adorable 16-yearold Latina girl diagnosed with mild global delays and presents younger than her age. She loves American Girl dolls, SpongeBob, music, and arts and crafts. Veronica is a real “girlie girl” and loves matching headbands to her outfits, getting her nails done, and fashion. She has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP)

CIRCLE OF FRIENDS Wednesday, May 11 — Central Region Adoption Info Meetings — ADLU Worcester, 13 Sudbury St., Worcester. 6 p.m.-7 p.m. (508) 929-2413.

Wednesday, May 11 — Northern Region Adoption Info Meetings — ADLU Lawrence, Jordan’s Furniture Reading: IMAX Conference Room - 50 Walker’s Brook Dr., Reading. 6 p.m.-7:30 p.m.

in Your Child’s Life.” For parents of children birth through age 8. 978-429-8284, ext. 206.

Wednesday, May 18 — Boston Region Adoption Info Meeting, DCF Boston, 451 Blue Hill Avenue, Dorchester. 4 p.m.-5:30 p.m. 617-989-9209.

Thursday, May 19— Southern Region Adoption Info Meetings, Morton Hospital, 88 Washington Street, Taunton, Margaret Stone Conference Room, first floor.

6:30 p.m.-8 p.m. RSVP: 508-894-3830.

Monday, May 16 — Southern Region Adoption Info Meetings, Mass. Department of Children and Families, Police Station, 1492 Washington Street, Canton. 6 p.m.-8 p.m. RSVP to 508-894-3830.

Sunday, May 22 — Jordan’s Walk/Run for Adoption 5K. Jordan’s Furniture, 450 Revolutionary Drive, East Taunton. 10 a.m. Walkers, runners and all adoptive families welcome. Face painting, raffles, refreshments, prizes, and more. jordanswalkforadoption.org.

Wednesday, May 18 — Post-Adoption Support Group. First Connections, 179 Great Road, Room 104A, Acton. This month’s topic: “Handling Transitions

Ongoing — Federation for Children with Special Needs Parent Trainings. Free and open to the public, these trainings cover a range of topics: Effective

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and does well in a separate classroom in school.

Veronica is legally free for adoption and would do best with an experienced single mother or in a twofemale household. Her social worker feels there should be no other children in the home or only older female children in the home for Veronica to thrive in the placement.

For more information regarding Veronica, please contact Department of Children and Families (DCF)

Communication and the IEP, Basic Rights in Special Education, Understanding My Child’s Learning Style, and more. Visit fcsn.org/ptic/workshops/schedule for a schedule and descriptions.

Ongoing — Group for Adoptive Parents. Adoption Associates, 34 Lincoln Street, Newton. For parents of children in elementary or middle school, this monthly group focuses on understanding the impact of loss and trauma; learning to manage difficult and challenging behaviors; strengthening the family bond while preserving identity; and more. For more information, contact 617-965-9369 or info@adoptionassociates.org.

Ongoing — Group for Adopted Teens. Adoption Associates, 34 Lincoln Street, Newton. For adopted children ages 14-19, this group focuses on identity development, self-esteem improvement, confidence building and communication skills. Participants will use conversation to reflect upon the experience of adoption and belonging. For more information, contact 617-965-9369 or info@adoptionassociates.org.

Adoption Supervisor Eileen Griffin at 978-353-3629. The Worcester DCF Office hosts monthly informational meetings on the second Wednesday of each month for those wishing to learn more about the adoption process in general. The next meeting will be held on Wednesday, April 13th from 6 – 7 p.m. The DCF Adoption Development & Licensing Unit’s Office is located at 13 Sudbury St. in Worcester. Please call (508) 929-2143 to register and for specifics about parking.

Ongoing — Group for Adoptive Parents of Teens.

Adoption Associates, 34 Lincoln Street, Newton. This monthly group focuses on understanding the impact of loss and trauma on children ages 14-19; learning to manage difficult and challenging behaviors; strengthening the family bond while preserving identity; and more. For more information, contact 617-965-9369 or info@adoptionassociates.org.

Ongoing — The Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children offers an after-hours telephone hotline that provides emergency assistance to foster kinship and pre-adoptive families when the DCF offices are closed. The helpline is available 5 p.m. to 9 a.m. on weekdays and 24 hours on weekends and holidays. The number is 800-486-3730.

If your group or organization is holding an adoption information or support group and would like to have information posted for readers of baystateparent, please email editor@baystateparent.com.

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The Rise of Childhood

ANXIETY Why worries are ever-increasing for our children and how parents can help (and inadvertently hurt)

BY HEATHER KEMPSKIE

30 MAY2016

ears ago, when Dr. Greg Handel was a Pop Warner Football coach, he worked his young players hard: “I mean, I was having them run and play hard.” Not far into the intense football season, he noticed a troubling trend: After hours on the football field, many of his players were picked up by their parents to head straight to hockey practice.

“They were going from one organized sport to another,” he remembers. “And we’re not talking any easy type of sport, these were very physically draining.”

Handel, a psychologist and clinical director at Thriveworks in Westborough, was rightly concerned for his players’ physical health, and he knew this type of hefty schedule can do just as much damage to a child’s emotional and mental state.

“We’re keeping them too busy,” he adds. “I think there’s also this sense of entitlement that kids have.

Everything parents do is centered around their kids.

‘My kid wants to do dance, he wants to play soccer.

He wants to do this and that and I’m going to make that happen and schedule it all in.’”

The pitfall? “When you feel entitled, that can lead to stress,” Handel explains. “You never get what you really want, a child learns to never feel satisfied. We begin to believe if we just work harder, we should always get what we want. That mindset can cause a tremendous amount of anxiety.”

Parents are stressed and anxious, too. “I think now, compared to 20 years ago, there’s a lot more emphasis on how to raise your kids and what you should do to raise them to be successful,” he adds. “It [falsely] implies there is a way to raise good kids, and if you do this, that, and the other thing, your kids will turn out fine.”

Yesterday vs. today Rates of anxiety among young people in America have been increasing steadily for more than 20 years, according to Psychology Today. And most experts agree that the rise is not simply a case of more children being officially diagnosed, it’s the shift in a young person’s belief that they have control over their own destiny. That belief has declined sharply over the decades.

“Kids had anxiety 20 years ago, too,” Handel says.

“The reasons have just changed. Bullying on the playground used to cause anxiety and stress for kids 20 years ago. Happy to say a lot has been done to prevent that type of stress with teaching and no-tolerance rules, but new stressors are out there.”

A study headed by Jean Twenge at San Diego State University a few years ago found that young people have made a significant shift toward extrinsic goals and away from intrinsic ones — those that relate to our development as a person and what brings meaning to our lives.

Extrinsic goals focus on outward desires, such as material objects and other people’s opinions. Similar to Handel’s assessment, culture, media, and most every other modern-day sources are telling our kids — and parents — that happiness depends on appearance, popularity, and material goods.

It’s as if we can program our kids to be perfect people, Handel adds: “Imagine the stress that puts on a kid to be perfect.”

baby, any anxiety is easily quelled by a parent because their needs are being met. Separation anxiety is a very common milestone at about 10 months of age.

“But, in some instances, children’s anxious behaviors become dramatic

“We’re keeping them too busy, I think there’s also this sense of entitlement that kids have.

Everything parents do is centered around their kids. When you feel entitled, that can lead to stress.”

Is all anxiety bad?

“A certain amount of anxiety is good,” explains Dr. Janine Stasior, board-certified pediatric neuropsychologist and licensed psychologist at Child Development Network in Lexington. “For instance, if a child plays soccer and before the game is able to channel some of that anxious energy toward the goal of winning the game, that would be considered OK.” Anxiety is normal depending on the quantity and timing of the anxious feelings, she continues. As a

(ADAA), 1 out of 8 children have some type of anxiety disorder, which are characterized by persistent, irrational, and overwhelming worry, fear, and anxiety that interfere with daily activities. These are real disorders that affect how the

– Dr. Greg Handel, psychologist

and extreme and the timing just doesn’t make sense,” she notes. “If a child becomes panicked every time a teacher calls on him, that may be outside of the normative.”

According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of America

brain functions. Symptoms vary, but they can include irritability, sleeplessness, jitteriness, or physical symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches.

ADAA states that the difference between an anxious phase and an

anxiety disorder is that a phase is temporary and usually harmless. Children who suffer from an anxiety disorder experience fear, nervousness, shyness, and avoidance of places and activities that persist despite the helpful efforts of parents, caretakers, and teachers.

Parents concerned about their child exhibiting anxiety are encouraged to consult their pediatrician. Mental health professionals can help identify the source of anxiety and provide skills and strategies to help children achieve their personal best in and outside of school.

At home, parents can help lessen a child’s anxiety via the five tips below: 1. Teach kids how to relax. “It’s perfectly OK to allow for downtime.

Not every moment of every day must be planned and scheduled to revolve around a child’s needs and wants,” Handel says. Instead, make time for family time or quiet time.

2. Learn to say no. Why is it so hard for parents to set limits?

Handel suggests that parents think they are not being good parents if their children aren’t getting everything that they want.

“My parents were much more likely to say no to me,” he said. “And I told my kids, they were not doing hockey because we couldn’t afford it, instead they played basketball.

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Sure, they whined and cried about it for 10 minutes, but their life was no worse off.”

3. Know what they really need.

Find a mirror. Now look in it. That’s it. That’s what they need: a human, smiling face to connect with, Stasior says.

4. Limit technology. According to a report by Common Sense Media (commonsensemedia.org), U.S. teens spend nine hours using media every day. That’s strictly for their

enjoyment and doesn’t include using technology for homework.

Stasior says this can also lead to anxiety and/or stressful feelings.

“There is stress in technology due to the lack of reciprocity and empathy,” she notes. “The problem isn’t that we utilize technology, the problem is that it’s being used in lieu of a person. Children need full relationships with adults who care in context of an environment that is nurturing.”

And that also means parents need to keep track of their own technol-

ogy addictions. “Just because they have access to tech 24/7 doesn’t mean tech should come between them and their child. Childhood is fleeting,” she adds.

5. Make time for unsupervised, undirected play. Children’s freedom to play and explore on their own — independent of direct adult guidance and direction — has declined greatly in recent decades.

In a Psychology Today article, “The Decline of Play and Rise in Children’s Mental Disorders” Dr.

Peter Gray writes: “By depriving children of opportunities to play on their own, away from direct adult supervision and control, we are depriving them of opportunities to learn how to take control of their own lives. We may think we are protecting them, but in fact we are diminishing their joy, diminishing their sense of self-control, preventing them from discovering and exploring the endeavors they would most love, and increasing the odds that they will suffer from anxiety, depression, and other disorders.”

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Families are plugged in — and tuned out — thanks to technology

BY JOAN GOODCHILD

W

hat was the most technologically advanced device in your home growing up? Was it a television?

Or maybe an Atari gaming system? And what about your phone? If you grew up in the ’70s or ’80s, as many of today’s parents did, your phone was considered advanced if it had call waiting.

Wow. What a difference a few decades can make.

Today, many American children know how to navigate a tablet by the age of 2. And it is not uncommon to see a young child sitting in a grocery cart, watching movies or playing games on small devices, while Mom

34 MAY2016

browses the aisles. Trips in the car are often filled with entertainment from start to finish, as tablets now travel with us to Grandma’s house.

Afternoons after school are spent communicating with peers online, texting, or in gaming chat rooms on the Xbox or PlayStation.

For parents, technology has now made it possible for us to watch over our precious bundles with video baby monitors in the first few years, and with location-tracking apps on smartphones later. No more fretting alone in the middle of the night while baby is sick. We can seek parenting advice from others who have been through it all with a simple Google search.

The non-stop, all-access availability of information that technology provides us has been a game-changer. But is it doing us any favors? Has it made our lives, and the parenting experience, markedly better? Not necessarily, according to experts. In fact, in contrasting parenting today with parenting 20 years ago, many felt today’s access to technology has ushered in a new age of high-tech parenting challenges that has been, overall, quite damaging for families.

“Parents can connect with other parents and access support via

technology,” said Dr. Kate Roberts, a licensed clinical psychologist and certified school psychologist with offices in Salem and Hamilton.

“Parents can use it to work from home and, therefore, be more available to kids as parents when they don’t have a commute.”

But Roberts said the benefits of non-stop access to information also brings an emotional toll.

“Parents can be distracted by what is going on elsewhere, as opposed to focusing on their children,” she said. “‘The grass is greener’ definitely applies to social media. To the socially conscious parent, this can have implications for their selfesteem, as well as for their children, if they compare their children to others they see online.”

In other words, while you’re commiserating with fellow parents and getting good advice about bringing up kids, you’re also exposing yourself to a barrage of information to which you would not have had access 20 years ago. While some of it is useful, there is also plenty that is not — and that can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

Twenty-four/seven access to news and information in the media has also given us a false sense of the

perils children face each day in the world, said Jeanine Fitzgerald, a certified human behavior consultant and specialist, and owner of The Fitzgerald Institute of Lifelong Learning, based in Hubbardston.

“Media violence makes children believe the world is more dangerous than it is, with 90% of the top-grossing PG-13 films containing violence,” she noted. “We live in homes with an average of four televisions, three DVDs, one DVR, two CD players, two stereos, two video consoles, and two computers. Children haven’t changed — childhood has — and one of the changes is the effect of technology.”

Fitzgerald thinks the constant availability of technology has been a blessing and a curse as families turn to devices too often in their daily lives, minimizing the kinds of connections and conversation experienced decades ago.

“The technology itself is not the concern as much as its misuse, and its misuse is evident in our parenting,” she said. “From smartphones to tablets, computers to televisions, we have never had so many options on ways to spend our time. Juggling our school, work, home, and community responsibilities, we rely on technol-

ogy to keep up with the pace. The entertainment technologies have advanced rapidly and, according to a Kaiser Foundation Study, elementary children spent 7.5 hours a day being entertained by screens. Children and teens spend more time engaged with media or technology than any other activity except sleep.”

John Sargent, chief of child psychiatry at Tufts Medical Center and a professor at Tufts Medical School, thinks the challenges technology presents today are the same issues wrapped up in a new kind of paper.

Still, it offers new dilemmas for parents.

“There is an idea that kids have a new culture around Instagram or the other social media sites,” Sargent said. “But I don’t think it’s that different from kids listening to rock music back in the ’50s and ’60s. It is just more ever-present and harder to shut off and disregard. Parents have always set limits and said, ‘The phone goes off at 9’ or ‘Be home by 10.’ Now they have to say that about more things. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that children have no more than 2 hours of screen time a day. That includes smartphones, computers, TV — all screen media. I think if you ask any family, they would find that to be challenging.”

It’s setting limits on technology use that seems to be the toughest nut to crack today, according to Fitzgerald, as device use is as common among parents as it is for their children. While it may have been easy to ask the kids to get off a gaming console 20 years ago, these days, parents are as hooked on their iPad or smartphone.

“While we may have anxiety about what our children see, hear, or can access on screens, we must stop and ask ourselves: ‘What am I modeling?’” she said. “Two-thirds of children and teens in the country report that their parents have no rules about media and technology use. How can they, when they may not place any restraints on their own use?”

And leading by example, while hard, is really the only way a parent can instill an old-fashioned sense of enjoying time off the grid, Roberts said.

“Increased virtual experiences translates to decreased real-life experiences,” she noted. “Parents get complacent and don’t want to fight against the current. Parents need to limit screen time to be able to teach, model, and be present for their children, families, and for themselves.”

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Photo Courtesy of the Gaw Family

Group Helps Parents Heal,

The Gaw Family

Provide Healing to Those Suff

BY MELISSA SHAW

M

assachusetts parents who have lost babies in pregnancy or stillbirth, and the families and friends who love them, are banding together in a whole new way to emotionally and financially support others experiencing the death of an infant.

Holden’s Kelly Trefry lost three children during pregnancy. Last fall, Facebook popped national nonprofit The Tears Foundation (thetearsfoundation.org) on her timeline as a “Page you may like.”

“My losses were a few years ago, and at that time I felt there was nothing,” she remembers.

“I just felt really alone. When I found this page, I said I would love to be a part of it and to make sure other women didn’t feel as alone as I felt.”

Trefry contacted organizers at the Puyallup, Washington-based 501(c)(3) nonprofit, who noted Massachusetts didn’t have a chapter, and

36 MAY2016

invited her to apply to start one.

Now more than six months later, Trefry leads the new Massachusetts Tears Foundation chapter, which is growing with volunteers and planning its first fundraiser, a Rock & Walk For Babies, on Sunday, June 26, at Algonquin Regional High School in Northborough. Volunteers are building teams and raising funds for the walk, the proceeds of which will go toward paying the funeral, burial, and other associated expenses of fellow Bay State families who lose a child in pregnancy or at birth. These are unanticipated, unplannedfor large bills that, Trefry notes, can “add up fast” and arrive at a time when a shell-shocked family is simply trying to survive day to day.

“We want the parents to be able to honor their child in a way that they want,” she says. “So if they’re sitting in the hospital saying, ‘We can’t afford a funeral,’ we don’t want them to not have it. That’s why we’re here; we want to pay for it

for them to their wishes. However they want it done, we will help them pay for it.”

Because a funeral and burial are key to many grieving parents’ healing process, Trefry emphasizes that no family should have to adjust or abandon plans to honor their child the way they want because they lack the funds.

The chapter also strives to break the silence regarding infant loss.

“Once you open up, once you acknowledge that this loss occurred, you won’t believe the number of people who come up to you and say, ‘Oh my God, I had a loss as well,’ that they would never tell you otherwise,” she says. “One thing I like to say is we’re here for families as they go through this crisis, and it really is a crisis society doesn’t want to acknowledge. Oftentimes, you would get more support and acknowledgement if it was your dog that died.”

Emily & Lena Emily Coelho of Grafton was 23 weeks pregnant when she went in for a routine obstetrician appointment on Jan. 8 of this year. The previous month, she had the major anatomy ultrasound, which revealed a healthy daughter was on the way. She and her husband made the announcement on Facebook, and first gifts for the baby — a doll and a few outfits — followed at Christmas.

All was fine at the January appointment, until the doctor tried to hear the baby’s heartbeat with the Doppler.

“He scanned what felt like forever, but he really probably only did it for a few minutes,” Coelho remembers. “We couldn’t find anything. He took me to the ultrasound room and that’s when he confirmed there was no longer a heartbeat. It was a total shock.”

Two days later, she was induced and delivered her daughter, Lena Beth.

“The whole experience is something I’ve been looking to share with other parents, to connect with other parents,” she says. “I think once you get past that 12-, 13-week mark, you kind of assume everything’s going to be good and you’re going to be bringing a baby home in six months.

It was hard to find other parents who were on the same timeline as me. I was looking for other parents who had lost a baby in the second trimester. Technically, after 20 weeks it is considered a stillbirth, so I was looking for other parents who experienced a stillbirth.”

Coelho found the Massachusetts Tears chapter just a few weeks after the death of Lena, whose name, she notes, means “light.”

“It’s been good for me, healing-wise, being able to help other families,” she says. “It’s something I want to keep doing in the future because that support is so important, especially in the very early days. You don’t want to feel alone with it.”

Coelho and other members — those who have lost children in infancy and others who simply want to support them — have been attending monthly volunteer meetings, where they’ve been planning the Rock & Walk and getting the chapter off the ground.

The group also eventually aims to train Peer Counselors, parents who have lost infants and will be trained in how to assist others who seek their

ents are going to be more private in their journey than others, but for those who want to connect with other parents, they need to know they’re not alone.”

It was awareness that was personally vital, as well.

“I wanted people to realize she was a baby,” she says. “When we held her in the hospital, she was tiny. She wasn’t even a pound yet. But she was a baby, she was fully formed, she was very fragile, but she looked a lot like my son. I don’t think a lot of people really thought about that.”

A self-described Type-A planner, Coelho acknowledges her spring has not unfolded as she anticipated, as Lena’s original due date was this month. A therapist encouraged Coelho to plan something positive for the season, something she has control over, to remember and honor her child. Involvement in Tears fit the bill nicely. The Coelhos quickly raised $500 for the Rock & Walk and have upped their fundraising goal to $1,000.

“I’m finding this has been a very positive way to channel my energy into something where I’m able to remember my baby and tell other people about her story and what we’ve been through, but do it in a positive way,” she says. “This has been very healing for me. It’s been good.”

Jillian & Patrick It was Sept. 1, 2014, and the morning after her wedding anniversary, when first-time mother Jillian Gaw of Clinton went into labor. Overdue by two days, her water broke at home, and she and her husband “quickly noticed there was way too much blood. We called 911, but the way things unfortunately worked out that night it took us two hours to get to UMass [hospital], where they could do the emergency C-section.”

Gaw had experienced a placental abruption, in which the placenta detached from her uterus prematurely, a critical condition that deprived 8.9-lb baby Patrick of oxygen.

“He was losing oxygen the whole time. They did work on him for two hours, which I’m very grateful for. I had to be knocked out, so it gave them time to get me fixed up and awake, and we got to spend some time with him before he passed away in our arms early the next morning,” she says.

fering an Infant Death support through Tears. Notes Trefry: “Everyone’s story is completely different and no one is comparing their losses. No one feels the need to say, ‘Well, mine was worse than yours because of this.’ It’s more, ‘This sucks. It sucks that it happened to me, it sucks that it happened to you. Let’s get through this together.’ It’s nice to have each other.”

The ability for the chapter to help fund final arrangements for families is also a major draw, Coelho says, as it was critical for hers.

“The burial and memorial service, that was really important to me and my husband, and I can’t imagine other families not being able to do that,” she says. “I really like that part of their cause.”

Also simply bringing attention to the reality that infant loss occurs is another effort Coelho fully supports.

“Just the fact they’re trying to get the word out there — miscarriage and stillbirth are such a taboo subject still,” she notes. “It’s something that shouldn’t be hidden. I understand some par-

Gaw and husband Pat held a private memorial service for Patrick for their immediate family, and thanks to an “amazing” funeral director, had no bill for his services.

“It was important for us to get a burial plot where we would be with him someday,” she says.

“The headstone was an expense for us, it’s crazy how much they cost. It kinda threw us back. We were fortunate enough it didn’t really strap us, but I didn’t think twice about it.”

Later, Gaw had a realization: “It wasn’t even until I started going to support groups and talking to other families that I was, like, ‘Oh my God, I can’t imagine having to deal with that [expense] on top of how we were actually feeling. What you’re going through and dealing with and having to come up with money that you might not have or you have and it’s going to strap you.”

Last year, the Gaws formed a fundraising team, Patrick’s Pals, and raised $22,000 for the March of Dimes walk.

“I’m finding this has been a very positive way to channel my energy into something where I’m able to remember my baby and tell other people about her story and what we’ve been through, but do it in a positive way. This has been very healing for me.

It’s been good.”

– Emily Coelho “I saw how much it made me stop focusing on the fact that he died and the fact that everything that went wrong that night, the anger,” she recalls. “It’s all there, it’s always going to be there, but to focus on the fact that he was here.

He did matter. He was a huge part of our lives, he still is. And having people actually celebrate him made me feel a million times better.”

This year, Patrick’s Pals will be fundraising for the Rock & Walk, and involvement with Tears continues to aid Gaw’s healing.

“The way I find I’m able to parent my son is by doing things in his name,” she says. “There’s a part of me that wishes I didn’t know about this group because the only reason I know about it is because of our situation. But because I am in this situation, he is behind it and he is the reason I want to help. I don’t want other families to worry about finances, which are nothing compared to what you’re going through, but they need to be taken care of. It gives me a purpose; it helps me understand he had a purpose. I want to make sure something comes out of his short life, and doing things like this makes me feel so much better about it.”

Getting involved State Chapter Leader Trefry says all are welcome to attend the monthly meetings, raise funds or join in the walk, noting some who volunteer are not bereaved parents but rather those who simply want to support the community of parents who are.

The chapter’s Facebook page can be found at facebook.com/MATEARS, and Trefry requests family and friends keep the group in mind for those who lose an infant and need help, emotionally or financially.

“We’re here,” she says. “We’re financially in the position that we’re ready to start helping families, and we want to get the word out there. We don’t want people to feel alone, and we don’t want people to feel like they can’t do this or they can’t get through this because they don’t have the money.

Whatever that person needs at that time, we just want them to know we’re there for them.”

And, Trefry notes, grieving parents are grieving parents, and are welcome regardless of when their loss occurred.

“Losses always stay with you. For me, when it happened, I didn’t know how to grieve. I didn’t know how to handle this, I felt like my whole life was shattered. Over the years, it’s a process of learning how to adjust,” she says. “It’s a matter of adjusting and figuring out how to continue on, because life goes on; how you move forward and become stronger from it.

That’s where forming this and being able to help others has really helped me in healing myself.”

BAYSTATEPARENT 37

VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE

How The Fonz

Is Helping Readers With Learning Differences

BY MELISSA SHAW

In

1977, actor Henry Winkler gave libraries and literacy a gigantic stage when TV’s #1 character, The Fonz, on the nation’s #2 show, Happy Days, got a library card and extolled the virtues of reading.

And, nearly 40 years later, Winkler is still making an impact on young readers in an entirely different, and personal, way.

Winkler and co-author Lin Oliver recently published their 25th children’s book, Here’s Hank: You Can’t Drink a Meatball Through a Straw.

It’s the seventh book in the duo’s Here’s Hank series, which centers on second grader Hank Zipzer. Aimed at readers in kindergarten through second grade, Here’s Hank is a prequel series to the pair’s earlier 18-book series, Hank Zipzer: The World’s Greatest Underachiever, which follows the exploits of fourth-grader Hank, who is dyslexic. “[In Here’s Hank, he is] a kid who’s on his way to being diagnosed with a learning challenge and hasn’t been diagnosed yet,” Oliver says. “A kid who’s flopping around in the school system and trying to do his best, but not having it quite gel. Spelling is

hard, reading is hard, math is hard, and he doesn’t know why yet.”

Both versions of Hank are based on the experience of Winkler, who struggled his entire life with what was eventually diagnosed as dyslexia in his 30s, a time when he was already internationally famous and beloved as The Fonz.

“His son was tested, they’re describing his son’s learning differences, and Henry said it was like a lightning bolt went off,” Oliver shares. “He thought, Wait a minute, that’s me. You think, here at midlife, I’m not stupid, I have a learning difference. What those kids grow up believing is they’re less-than; that they’re not good at school, that they’re not that smart. And, of course, that’s not the case at all.

Most kids with learning challenges are really smart.”

The beginning Over a decade ago, Winkler and Oliver, a prolific author and television writer, were invited to lunch by their mutual agent. Winkler had a story to tell and needed someone to help him tell it.

“Henry told me his story and I thought, This is every family’s story.

Here he is, one of the most iconic figures in America, and he suffered so growing up because he was bad at school,” Oliver said. “It was so touching to me that someone could go through their whole childhood feeling failed because they didn’t do well in school and not understand they had other kinds of intelligences.

I responded both as an author, thinking this is a great story to tell, and as a mother, understanding that so many kids operate on a frustration level at school, that school frustrates them rather than stimulates them.”

The duo wrote the first Hank Zipzer book in 2004, Niagara Falls, Or Does It?, and went on to publish 17 more in the series geared toward readers in Grade 3 and up. Together, the series sold more than 5 million copies.

“They tell the story of Hank Zipzer, a kid living in New York, who’s smart, funny, resourceful, creative, and bad at school,” she says.

“We devised this fictional character who embodied all of these traits.

Somebody who had dyslexia, who

clearly has executive function disorders — can’t remember things, loses his jacket — and created an environment for him where most of these issues live, people telling them to do things they can’t really do. That was really based on Henry’s story.”

The key to the books’ success, Oliver says, is “they’re not only authentic, but they’re funny. So many parents write to us and say, ‘This is the first book my child ever read,’ or ‘I walked by my child’s room and she was reading and laughing.’ And we think, There you go. This is how you bring children to reading, to let them see themselves on the pages of the book.”

Here’s Hank Based on the success of the original series, in 2014 Winkler and Oliver began writing the Here’s Hank books geared toward K-2 readers — same kid, same challenges, just two years younger.

The Here’s Hank books are carefully designed for young readers, especially those who may have difficulty reading or a dyslexia diagnosis. The books are printed in the Dyslexie

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38 MAY2016

5/28/2015 9:04:04 AM

Illustration, text, and excerpt at left by permission of publisher Grosset & Dunlap

This partial page from Heres Hank: You Can’t Drink a Meatball Through a Straw, shows a sample of the Dyslexie font, in which the series is printed.

font (dyslexiefont.com), developed in 2008 by a Dutch graphic designer as a way to make reading easier for those with dyslexia (see above).

“That’s an amazing thing, we’re so grateful to our publishers,” Oliver says of the font usage. “It’s easier for everyone to read.”

The use of Dyslexie means more white space on the page and more space between words and individual letters, making it harder for dyslexic readers to flip letters or words while reading. The strokes that sit above or below a line, such as a lowercase d or g, are weighted heavier toward the bottom, keeping them from “floating” around a page, another common effect of the processing challenge.

The book also offers some short, two-page, list-based chapters, Oliver says.

“As a child, I would go to the library and I would pick books that had a lot of dialogue because I liked the whiteness on the page. The page looked like I could attack as opposed to a page with all dense gray type,” she says. “We try and be aware of those kinds of things: add a lot of dialogue, make our paragraphs short, make our chapters end on a suspenseful note, vary length of chapters so the pace doesn’t feel overwhelming. The hope is this is the book you keep in your back pocket for when your teacher says you can read something for fun.”

While the books are geared toward children who have learning differences, Oliver emphasizes both series are not just for those with dyslexia.

“One in 5 children has a learning challenge, so if it’s not yours, it’s the kid sitting next to them, or the kid sitting next to them,” she says. “It helps empathy and awareness for kids who don’t have a learning issue.

We hope they’re read by everyone as entertainment and also as door openers to the fact that there are a lot of

people who learn differently, to promote the idea that different isn’t bad and different isn’t less than.”

Oliver is emphatic: Learning challenges like dyslexia are “not a deficiency, it’s just a difference. It doesn’t have to impede their life or achieving their life dreams in any way.”

And she says the Winkler-Oliver partnership is “an example of one of the things the books espouse: There’s a way to accomplish anything you want to accomplish, you just have to find your own unique path. Henry couldn’t have written these on his own, and I couldn’t have written them without him because it’s not my story. The combination of the two of us has become very powerful. It’s given him a path to tell his story and me a path to understand.”

The duo return to their television roots when writing, sitting in a room together just like TV writers developing a script.

“Because we both came out of television, we’re both very used to having a creative process that happens in collaboration. I’m at the computer, he’s walking around the room, and we write out loud. We develop a scene together using a lot of techniques from television: you talk it out, one person offers up a line. We write a draft and rewrite. And we laugh. The rule is: If it doesn’t make us laugh, it doesn’t go in.”

And while show business is known as cutthroat and superficial, Oliver confirms a rumor about her writing partner: He’s just as nice as you’d hope he’d be.

“He’s a deeply beautiful human being,” she notes. “He built his acting reputation on being too cool for school and he’s the opposite.

Sweet, kind, compassionate, caring — completely committed to the idea that the best way to be cool is to be entirely who you are.”

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Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! - dr. seuss

Photo courtesy of From Russia with Art Gallery

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO

Photo courtesy of The Discovery Museums

GO EAST MA-Matryoshka Family Festival. Clinton Town Hall. May 8.

GO CREATE Tween/Teen Canvas Club.

Art Reach Studio, Worcester.

May 6, 13, 20, 27.

40 MAY2016

GO SOAR Masters of Flight: Birds of Prey.

Zoo New England: Stone Zoo, Stoneham.

May 7.

GO OUTSIDE Backyard and Beyond: Nature Playgroup. The Discovery Museums, Acton.

May 6.

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

1 Sunday

MELTDOWN WARNING: Before you pack up the mini-van, please confirm your destination.

Although we’ve done our best to ensure accuracy at press time, things can and do change.

make a craft to take home. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $15, children 4 and up $6, children under 4 free. concordmuseum.org.

Tales and Trails: A Family Story Walk.

Beaver Brook Reservation, Mill St., Belmont.

10 a.m.-12 p.m. Explore the trails of Beaver Brook Reservation and step into the pages of a special PJ Library book on the theme of Shabbat, with snacks and playtime provided.

Recommended for ages up to 5. Register ahead.

Free. bostonjcc.org.

Mike the Bubble Man. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 2 p.m.-2:45 p.m.

Mike the Bubble Man brings magic and science to stage with this interactive indoor show through bubbles, music, choreography, and comedy. For ages 3 to 12. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Sholom Aleichem: A Family Puppet Show.

Leventhal-Sidman JCC, 333 Nahanton St., Newton. 11 a.m. Get ready for fun as Caravan Puppets paints a puppet picture of legendary writer Sholom Aleichem’s life and travels with stories, music and surprises. Adults $12, children $10. bostonjcc.org.

Backyard and Beyond: May Day. Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m.-1 p.m.

Join us in Fairyborough to celebrate the ancient holiday of May Day, as we make nature crowns and weavings to celebrate springtime. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Father Goose’s Tales. Puppet Showplace Theater, 32 Station St., Brookline. 1 p.m. & 3 p.m. See what happens when Mother Goose takes the day off and Father Goose must do all of the storytelling, during this hilarious modern adaptation of favorite nursery rhymes and children’s songs, filled with audience interaction to delight. $12. puppetshowplace.org.

Acera School Drum Corp. Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston. 2 p.m.

Children from the local Acera School perform pieces of their own composition using rhythms of West African drumming tradition. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $16, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

Special Storytime: Thea Guidone. The Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art, 125 West Bay Rd., Amherst. 2 p.m. Make some noise with author Thea Guidone as she reads her picture book Drum City, following the story of how one boy’s beat on a kettle soon spreads to pots and pans. Free with admission. Adults $9, youths $6. carlemuseum.org.

George Attisano. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 2 p.m.-3 p.m. George Attisano presents a relaxing performance on classical guitar. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Photo courtesy Puppet Showplace Theater

Art in Bloom Community Day. Museum of Fine Arts: Boston, 465 Huntington Ave., Boston.

10, a.m.-4 p.m. Celebrate the MFA’s Art in Bloom with a day filled with family-friendly programming and entertainment. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmember adults $23, youths 17 and under free. mfa.org.

GO IMAGINE Father Goose’s Tales. Puppet Showplace Theater.

Brookline. May 1.

Wicked Pissed: New England’s Most Famous Feuds. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 2 p.m.-3:30 p.m.

Ted Reinstein brings to life the fights, spats, and arguments that have peppered area life for centuries, from sports to politics, to food, to science.

Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Drop Into Art. Danforth Art Museum & School, 123 Union Ave., Framingham. 2 p.m.-4 p.m.

Join us for hands-on art making, gallery tours and programs, and creative play in our studios and galleries. Free. danforthart.org.

Outer-Space Science with Brandeis University. Science Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Join students from Brandeis University for fun hands-on activities that are out of this world, as you tap into your inner astronaut and whip-up some galactic goo, discover how much you weigh on the moon, and more. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

The Fifth Annual A-Town Jazz Festival.

Regent Theatre, 7 Medford St., Arlington. 7 p.m.-10 p.m. Enjoy a range of jazz performances and special guests, including the award-winning Arlington High School Jazz Band, and vocalist Louise Grasmere. $15. regenttheatre.com.

2 Monday Kiddie Music Time with Monument Square Community Music School. Leominster Public

Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 10 a.m.11 a.m. A music and movement class that offers song, dance, and interaction with instruments.

Suitable for ages 5 and under. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Mental Health Awareness. Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester.

3:30 p.m.-5 p.m. This Community Health Link program covers topics such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse, and shares what to do if someone you care about is dealing with any of these issues. For ages 13 to 18. Free. mywpl.org.

Silver Apple Bedtime Story-Hour. Morse Institute Library, 14 East Central St., Natick.

6:30 p.m.-7:15 p.m. Join the Children’s Room for a period of stories, songs, simple crafting or activity as we ready for bed. For ages 3 to 9.

Free. morseinstitute.org.

3 Tuesday PEEP Science Adventures: Many Shades of Paint. Children’s Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m.-11 a.m.

Experiment with creating different shades of color with white paint and see how many new colors you can create. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Storytime at the Museum. Concord Museum, 200 Lexington Rd., Concord. 11:15 a.m.-12 p.m. Spark your child’s imagination as we read books inspired by Henry David Thoreau and

4 Wednesday Preschool Storytime: Muddy Mud. Gore Place, 52 Gore St., Waltham. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Explore the properties of mud and how it is made through stories, games, and hands-on activities. Create a beautiful mud painting and concoct a delicious mud pie. For ages 3 and 4.

Register ahead. Member children $5, nonmember children $10. goreplace.org.

Free First Wednesday. deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum, 11 Sandy Pond Rd., Lincoln.

10 a.m.-4 p.m. Explore deCordova’s grounds and museum for free during this monthly activity, through individual exploration or afternoon staff-led tours. Free. decordova.org.

Once Upon a Story. Willard House and Clock Museum, 11 Willard St., North Grafton.

1:30 p.m.-2:15 p.m. Join us for stories and fun activities, and see highlighted feature of the Willard House and Clock Museum. Recommended for ages 3 and up. Register ahead. Free. willardhouse.org.

ASD Friendly Afternoons. Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 1:30 p.m.4:30 p.m. A specially allocated time designed for families with children with an ASD, including accessible exhibits and a special room to orient yourself. Register ahead. Free. discoverymuseums.org.

Creative Connections: Lucky Irish Lad. Morse Institute Library, 14 East Central St., Natick. 3 p.m.-5 p.m. Kevin O’Hara tells funny, sweet, and moving stories of growing up Irish in Massachusetts in the 1950s and ’60s. Free. morseinstitute.org.

May the Fourth Be With You. Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester. 6 p.m.-7 p.m. Celebrate a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away with a Star Wars craft. For ages 13 to 17. Free. mywpl.org.

Card Battle Royale. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 6 p.m.-9 p.m. Fans of Magic: The Gathering, Yu-Gi-Oh, and other card games are invited to join other gamers for an evening of open play and tournaments, prizes, and snacks. For ages 12 and up. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

BAYSTATEPARENT 41

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

5 Thursday Make a MESS: Gold Rush. Children’s Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton.

10 a.m.-11 a.m. Strap on safety goggles and help us pan for ‘gold’ by sifting through the sand in search of treasure. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Superheroes. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 4 p.m.-4:45 p.m. Kids are invited to hear excerpts from an exciting superhero adventure story, as well as have the chance to create their own superhero identities during this afternoon filled with take-home capes to color.

Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

STEAM Ahead. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 4 p.m.-5 p.m. A story-time exploring math, science, and the arts with children’s books and related activities. For ages 3 to 5. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

6 Friday Worcester Public Schools Art Festival.

Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. The opening of the annual Worcester Public Schools Art Festival, featuring the best the city’s students have to offer. Free. mywpl.org.

Backyard and Beyond: Nature Playgroup.

Children’s Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m.-10:45 a.m. Embrace the outdoors through a variety of activities and explorations. Recommended for ages 2 to 5. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Singe Me a Song with Fran Friedman.

Morse Institute Library, 14 East Central St., Natick. 10:30 a.m.-11:15 a.m. A morning of musical fun filled with uplifting songs. For ages 2 to 3. Register ahead. Free. morseinstitute.org.

Action Art. Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester. 3 p.m.-5 p.m.

Learn art skills through painting a song, tapping out a beat for a comic, using science to make your art even better, and more. For ages 10 to 17. Free. mywpl.org.

First Friday Nights Free. Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 4:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m. Join us with free admission and explore the museums at night on the first Friday of every month. Free. discoverymuseums.org.

School Readiness Friday Night. Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston.

6 p.m.-8:30 p.m. An evening of school readiness activities, the play D.W. Counts Down to Kindergarten, storytelling, science exploration, art, and more. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $1, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

Friday Night Video Games. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 6 p.m.-10 p.m. Hang out at the library and have fun with Smash Brothers Brawl on the WiiU, PlayStation 3, and X-Box 360, with snacks and prizes. For grades 7 to 12. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

From the Top Arts Leader. Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston. 6 p.m. & 6:45 p.m. Talented and passionate young musicians lead demonstrations that engage and inspire young children, as they share their love for their art, their instruments, and the joy of making music. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $1, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

Tween/Teen Canvas Club. Art Reach Studio, 322 West Boylston St., Worcester. 7 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Paint a funky chair for your room, design your own cell phone case, create a cool pillow for your bed, bring your photos to life by making a photo transfer canvas, stencil quote boards,

“Alpha” art, glow painting, and more. For ages 10-15. $10, includes supplies, pizza, and drink. artreachstudioafs.com.

Elstree 1976: The Making of Star Wars.

Regent Theatre, 7 Medford St., Arlington. 8:30 p.m. Come to the Boston premiere screenings of this documentary that takes a look back at what it was like to work on the set of the original Star Wars 40 years ago. Through Monday. Members $7, nonmembers $10. regenttheatre.com.

7 Saturday First Saturday Volunteer Day at Broad Meadow Brook. Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 9 a.m.-12 p.m. Help care for the sanctuary and enjoy a few hours of fresh air, fun, and fulfillment, as we look for wildlife, pick up branches, fill bird feeders, tend the gardens, and distribute program information.

Free. massaudubon.org.

Daddy/Caretaker and Me Brain Building Morning. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 10 a.m.-11:15 a.m. Dads and caretakers are invited to join us for some springtime bird stories, before building our own birdhouses with hammers, nails, and paint. For ages 3 to 7 with caretaker. Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Masters of Flight: Birds of Prey. Stone Zoo, 149 Pond St., Stoneham. 10 a.m. Trained naturalists host a dazzling array of birds. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $16, children 2 to 12 $12, children under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

Make a Craft for Mom. North River Wildlife Sanctuary, 2000 Main St., Marshfield. 10 a.m.12 p.m. Celebrate mom with a special nature day, as we create some unique, handmade Mothers Day gifts using natural materials, from

sea shells to seed pods and more. Free. massaudubon.org.

Hawk Henries and the Native American Flute. Fruitlands Museum, 102 Prospect Hill Rd., Harvard. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Hawk Henries, member of the Chaubunagungamaug band of Nipmuck, demonstrates how he creates beautiful wooden flutes, then performs a concert beginning at 1 p.m. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $14, children 5 to 13 $6, children under 5 free. fruitlands.org.

Red Bellies Return to the Wild. South Shore Natural Science Center, 48 Jacobs Ln., Norwell.

10 a.m.-4 p.m. Join us as we say goodbye to our Northern Red Bellied Cooter hatchlings, who will be leaving at the end of May to return to the wild. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $7, children 2 to 15 $3, children under 2 free. southshorenaturalsciencecenter.org.

Free Comic Book Day. Grafton Public Library, 35 Grafton Common, Grafton. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Drop in and choose a comic from our free selection during this day celebrating comics. graftonlibrary.org.

Families @ WAM Tour. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester. 10:30 a.m.-11 a.m. Explore the Worcester Art Museum galleries with your family on a docent-guided discovery tour, as you hear fun facts, stories, and enjoy sharing observations and time together.

Free. worcesterart.org.

Beyond the Spectrum. Museum of Fine Arts: Boston, 465 Huntington Ave., Boston. 10:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Explore the possibilities of recreating old and ordinary materials into something new and walk away with a remarkable piece of recycled artwork. For ages 8 to 12. Register ahead. $9. mfa.org.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 10:30 a.m.-12:45 p.m. Enjoy the riveting continuation of the epic space opera, following ex-Storm-

For more events, visit baystateparent.com Our Down Syndrome Program Is Now Open!

One visit for comprehensive care.

Audiology • Cardiology • Child Life • Dermatology Development/Behavioral Pediatrics Endocrinology • ENT • Gastroenterology • Genetics Hematology/Oncology • Nutrition • Orthopedics Psychiatry • Pulmonology • Social Work • Urology

Appointments: 774-443-UMDS (8637)

42 MAY2016

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! trooper Finn, scrappy desert dweller Rey, and droid companion BB-8 as they get caught up in a galactic war. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Families @ WAM Make Art. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester. 11 a.m.11:30 a.m. Drop in for fun, intergenerational time in the Worcester Art Museum galleries, as you get inspired by our art and try making something uniquely yours. Free. worcesterart.org.

Spring Wildflowers at Broad Meadow Brook. Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 1 p.m.-3:0 p.m. Come look for dwarf ginseng, golden ragwort, and just maybe an early lady’s slipper on our gentle walk through the trails. Register ahead. Member adults $6, nonmember adults $8. massaudubon.org.

Mother-Daughter Tea Party. Algonquin Regional High School Cafeteria, 79 Bartlett St., Northborough. 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Enjoy a special afternoon of tea and desserts, photo opportunities, a Princess Dance, nail painting, crafts, and visits from princesses Ariel and Rapunzel.

Register ahead. Adults $35, children $15. northborouged.org.

Saturday Scientist Open Lab. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 2 p.m.4 p.m. Drop in during our two-hour Open Lab to explore engineering, circuitry, coding, and robotics through HexBugs, Kibo, littleBits, Lego WeDo, and Spark Fun Inventor kits. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Bath Bombs for Mom (Or For You).

Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester. 2:30 p.m.-3:30 p.m. Learn how to make your own bath bombs and shower fizzies, perfect for mom or yourself. For ages 13 to 17. Free. mywpl.org.

Crocodile River Music. Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester.

2:30 p.m.-3:30 p.m. A concert filled with African and African-influenced music, including Brazilian, Caribbean and Flamenco music, showing the universal influence of African rhythms and melodies on the music across the world. Free. mywpl.org.

Especially for Me: Families with Visual Impairment. Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 5 p.m.-8 p.m. Come join in all the fun and explore both museums during this special free evening for families with children with a visual impairment, with dinner provided. Register ahead. Free. discoverymuseums.org.

Dancing with a Twist. Symphony Hall, 301 Massachusetts Ave., Boston. 8 p.m. Dynamic dancers from Dancing with the Stars and So You Think You Can Dance join the Boston Pops and American Idol vocalists for an electrifying night of music and dance. Through Sunday. $24-$99. bso.org.

8 Sunday Mother’s Day. Old Sturbridge Village, 1 Old Sturbridge Village Rd., Sturbridge. 9:30 a.m.5 p.m. Celebrate your mother and mothers all around during this day filled with demonstrations of cooking for children, hands-on crafts, and performances. Free with admission. Adults $28, youths 3 to 17 $14, children 2 and under free, mothers free. osv.org.

MA-MAtryoshka Festival. Clinton Town Hall, 242 Church St., Clinton. 12 p.m.-8 p.m.

The Museum of Russian Icons partners with the MA-MAtryoshka Festival for a unique Russian cultural event honoring mothers from every culture, filled with dance, music, fine arts, and crafts, kids’ performances, food, and a mobile sauna.

Advance purchasing adults $10, children 3 and up $5; at-door purchasing adults $15, children 3 and up $8, children under 3 free. museumofrussianicons.org.

Rowe’s Lane Quartet. Concord Museum, 200 Lexington Rd., Concord. 2 p.m.-3 p.m.

The Rowe’s Lane Quartet performs the music of Mozart, Haydn, Giardini, and Onslow in a special Mother’s Day concert. Members $20, nonmembers $25. concordmuseum.org.

Mother’s Day Tea and Talk. Gore Place, 52 Gore St., Waltham. 3 p.m. Enjoy tea and cake in the recently restored 1793 carriage house, followed by a talk on tea with author Dory Codington. Members $18, nonmembers $20. goreplace.org.

9 Monday

new ones as we spend an afternoon trying our hands at Minecraft, learning new tricks, and refining old ones. For ages 13 to 17. Free. mywpl.org.

10 Tuesday Tots at 10. Shops at Linden Square, 181 Linden Sq., Wellesley. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Enjoy a drumming circle and sing-a-longs with Bach 2 Rock outside in the Courtyard as we absorb the beautiful weather. Recommended for ages 1.5 to 5.

Register ahead. shoplindensquare.com.

Doggy Days: Welcome Abby. Children’s Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton.

10 a.m.-11 a.m. Drop in as we host Abby, a soft, furry, and friendly therapy dog from the Pets & People foundation. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Try It Out Tuesday. Science Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Provide your expert opinion and help us prototype a new idea, program, or exhibit component during this afternoon helping shape our future programs and spaces. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Teens: Secrets of College Admissions.

Morse Institute Library, 14 East Central St., Natick. 7 p.m.-8:15 p.m. A free seminar hosted

by Collegewise shares strategies your family can use to have a sane, stress-free, enjoyable college application process together. For ages 11 to 18.

Free. morseinstitute.org.

11 Wednesday Backyard and Beyond: Flower Pressing.

Children’s Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Learn how to press and preserve flowers and leaves with common household materials. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

12 Thursday Peep Science Adventures: Bead Patterns.

Children’s Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Drop-in and organize our collection of beads by sorting them into different categories, as you make a pattern necklace and have a blast. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Baby Play. Morse Institute Library, 14 East Central St., Natick. 10:30 a.m.-10:50 a.m.

Language play for caregivers and pre-walkers

FAMILY FUN FOR

EVERYONE!

Little Naturalist. North River Wildlife Sanctuary, 2000 Main St., Marshfield. 9:30 a.m.-10:30 a.m. Discover New England animals and how they live through nature walks, stories, songs, and crafts, and learn about baby birds.

For ages 3 to 5 with adult. Register ahead.

Member children $5, nonmember children $7, adults free. massaudubon.org.

Wee Ones Art Studio: Watercolor Painting. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Children are invited to learn to use salt and sugar to create special textures on their paintings during this guided watercolor painting morning activity. For ages 3 to 5. Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Minecraft Monday: Kids. Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester.

3 p.m.-4 p.m. Play on the library’s own kid-safe Minecraft server, where you can share your best Minecraft tricks, learn new ones, and make friends. For ages 8 to 12. Free. mywpl.org.

Minecraft Monday: Teens. Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester.

4 p.m.-5 p.m. Minecraft with friends or make

INTERACTIVE LEARNING LOUNGES,

CLASSES, WORKSHOPS, TOURS, AND EXHIBITIONS FOR ALL AGES!

¡FAM ES PARA TODOS! currently on view: 185 Elm Street Fitchburg,MA 01420 978.345.4207 fitchburgartmuseum.org BAYSTATEPARENT 43

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! via songs, rhymes, and stretches. Register ahead.

Free. morseinstitute.org.

Nature Adventures. Broad Meadow Book Conservation Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 1 p.m.-3 p.m.

Explore nature topics indoors using investigations, crafts, and activities, and outdoors in Broad Meadow Brook’s beautiful 400-acre wildlife sanctuary. For ages 5 to 7. Register ahead.

Member children $8, nonmember children $12. massaudubon.org.

Take Aparts. Science Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Grab a screwdriver and discover resistors and capacitors as you uncover the inner workings of everyday electronics. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1free. discoverymuseums.org.

Learning to Kiss. Massachusetts General Hospital Lucie Center for Autism, 1 Maguire Rd., Lexington. 7 p.m. Presentation and Q&A with author Eve Megargel, who wrote a memoir about her family’s experiences raising her now 25-year-old nonverbal son who was diagnosed with severe autism at 2. Free. 781-860-1700.

Teen Author Event: Francisco X. Stork.

Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton.

7 p.m.-8:30 p.m. Francisco X Stork of Marcelo in the Real World shares his experience as a young adult author and reads from his latest book before a book signing. For teens and adults.

Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

13 Friday Make a MESS: Kitchen Chemistry. Science Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Experiment with common household ingredients to create solutions that bubble and fizz, and substances that squish and slime.

Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Norm of the North. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 3:30 p.m.-5 p.m.

Follow oddball polar bear Norm as he and three lemmings go to New York City to confront a realestate developer. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Teen Night: Annual Fast Forward Screening. Institute of Contemporary Art: Boston, 100 Northern Ave., Boston. 6 p.m.-9 p.m. Celebrate the work of Fast Forward program participants with a screening and thoughtprovoking display of youth work from the ICA’s Teen New Media program. For teens. Free. icaboston.org.

Tween/Teen Canvas Club. Art Reach Studio, 322 West Boylston St., Worcester. 7 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Paint a funky chair for your room, design your own cell phone case, create a cool pillow for your bed, bring your photos to life by making a photo transfer canvas, stencil quote boards, “Alpha” art, glow painting, and more. For ages 10-15. $10, includes supplies, pizza, and drink. artreachstudioafs.com.

Rock Off Main Street. TCAN: Center for Arts, 14 Summer St., Natick. 7:30 p.m.-10 p.m.

Local teen and young adult bands from around the region perform an eclectic mix of music from pop, emo, punk, ska, hardcore, and indie music onstage for all to enjoy. $8. natickarts.org.

14 Saturday Lisa Kaplan Memorial 5K Run/Walk and Kids’ Fun Run. Robert E. Melican Middle School, 145 Lincoln St., Northborough. 9 a.m. Honor the memory of 12-year veteran teacher from Melican Middle School, Lisa Kaplan, during this fun morning of 5K racing and a kid’s fun run.

Register ahead. Adults $25, children 14 and under $15, Kid’s Fun runners $5. LK5K.racewire.com.

Spring Gardens. Old Sturbridge Village, 1 Old Sturbridge Village Rd., Sturbridge. 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Get ready for the growing season at Old Sturbridge Village with our first-annual Spring Garden Show, featuring craftsmen, tomato and heirloom plant sale, and more. Through Sunday.

Free with admission. Adults $28, youths 3 to 17 $14, children 2 and under free. osv.org.

Drop-in Craft Time. Morse Institute Library, 14 East Central St., Natick. 10 a.m.-12 p.m. A drop-in craft time featuring cool recyclable materials for kids and families. For children ages 3 to 10. Free. morseinstitute.org.

Celebrate Azize’s First Birthday. Franklin Park Zoo, 1 Franklin Park Rd., Boston. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Celebrate the youngest of Franklin Park Zoo’s gorilla troop by coloring a gorilla, enjoying a scavenger hunt and more. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $20, children 2 to 12 $13, children under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

3-D Printing Class. Fitchburg Public Library, 610 Main St., Fitchburg. 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Learn how the library’s 3-D printer works. Free. fitchburgpubliclibrary.org.

Bilingual Storytime: Spanish. Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester. 11 a.m.-12 p.m. Stories, songs, and activities in Spanish and English. Recommended for ages 6 and under. Free. mywpl.org.

For more events, visit baystateparent.com 44 MAY2016

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! Wild Animals in Your Neighborhood with Blue Hills Trailside Museum. Science Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m.-1 p.m.

Drop in and enjoy a unique opportunity to see native animals up close with a trained naturalist.

Learn about the birds, reptiles, and mammals that live in your neighborhood. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Penguin and Puffin Party. South Shore Natural Science Center, 48 Jacobs Ln., Norwell.

11 a.m.-3 p.m. Enjoy penguin and puffininspired hands-on activities and crafts while discovering what scientists are doing to protect these charismatic birds. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmember adults $7, children 2 to 15 $3, children under 2 free. southshorenaturalsciencecenter.org.

Family Drop-In Workshop: Gardens at Fruitlands. Fruitlands Museum, 102 Prospect Hill Rd., Harvard. 12 p.m.-4 p.m. Discover the joys of gardening during this family-friendly afternoon, filled with garden-inspired crafts, gardening demonstrations, and more. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $14, children 5 to 13 $6, children under 5 free. fruitlands.org.

Spring Concert with Precious Metals Flute Ensemble. Science Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2 p.m.-3 p.m. Join the Precious Metals Flute Ensemble for a Spring-inspired performance, providing music from Vivaldi to Hungarian Folk. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Twelfth Night. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 2 p.m.-3:30 p.m. Join Boston Theater Company’s teen touring troupe as they perform Shakespeare’s comedy, in which a shipwreck, a clever disguise, multiple mistaken identities, a clever trick, and many mixed messages create one hilarious tale. Recommended for ages 8 and up. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Through Thoreau’s Eyes: A Look at Nature at the Concord Museum. Concord Museum, 200 Lexington Rd., Concord. 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Be inspired by Henry David Thoreau’s observation of nature and discover our Phenology Garden and a replica of Thoreau’s cabin at Walden Pond. Free. concordmuseum.org.

CosPlay Day. Fitchburg Public Library, 610 Main St., Fitchburg. 2 p.m.-6 p.m. Come in costume, or we’ll help you make one, during our annual Spring CosPlay Day, filled with anime and snacks. For ages 10 and up. Free. fitchburgpubliclibrary.org.

DAVIS FARMLAND

Joy of Samba Brazilian Ensemble and Percussion Workshop. Leominster City Hall, 25 West St., Leominster. 3 p.m.-4:30 p.m.

Move to the Brazilian beat during this concert and hands-on workshop where everyone will have the opportunity to try their own hands playing percussion instruments. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

GOT KIDS?

15 Sunday ARTfull Explorations. deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum, 11 Sandy Pond Rd., Lincoln.

1 p.m.-3 p.m. Explore the Sculpture Park installations and Museum exhibitions during this special day of investigation and inspiration regarding the materials and artists behind our works.

Designed for ages 5 to 12. Free with admission.

Members free, nonmembers $14, children 12 and under free. decordova.org.

SM

The Ultimate Children’s Discovery Farm

Hands-On History. Concord Museum, 200 Lexington St., Concord. 1 p.m.-4 p.m. An afternoon for kids and families to learn through hands-on demonstrations how to make a corn husk doll. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $10, children 5 to 17 $5, children under 5 free. concordmuseum.org.

Experience the magic of hands-on animal encounters, award-winning discovery play areas and so much more…It’s a full day of fun for families with younger ones!

Newton Family Singers. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 2 p.m.-3 p.m. Join us for a concert with the Newton Family Singers, an intergenerational family chorus that brings together and friends of all ages to sing American folk music. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

International Day of Families Afternoon Tea. Parents Forum, 144 Pemberton St., Cambridge. 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Adults and children are welcome to celebrate International Day of Families for afternoon tea and an outing to the Bergin Tot Lot. Register ahead. parentsforum.org.

May 8th MOTHER’S DAY: Kids bring your mom FREE and Pamper her with a complimentary massage!

May 28–30 MACHINERY MADNESS: Kids can operate construction equipment, move sand AND even drive a tractor!

DavisFarmland.com.

(978)422-MOOO (6666). *Adults must be accompanied by a child 12 years or younger.

16 Monday Wee Ones Art Studio: Clay Turtles.

Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Learn how to sculpt clay turtles using the pinch pot method.

For ages 3 to 5. Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

MFA Playdates: Flower Power. Museum of Fine Arts: Boston, 465 Huntington Ave., Boston.

10:15 a.m.-11 a.m. Bring your toddler to enjoy story time and looking activities in the galleries followed by art making during this fun morning at the MFA. Recommended for children 4 and under. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $25, youths 7 to 17 $10, children 6 and under free. mfa.org.

For more events, visit baystateparent.com

FREE! $3 Souvenir Cup of Animal Feed!

One per family. Exp 5/31/16 Not valid with other discounts, packages or special events. BSP5 S T E R L I N G ,

M A S S A C H U S E T T S ©2016 Davis Farmland

BAYSTATEPARENT 45 DFL BSP5 4.5x11 AD 4-16-16.indd 1

4/16/16 8:55 PM

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! Tears Foundation Monthly Volunteer Meeting. O’Connor’s Restaurant, 1160 W Boylston St., Worcester. 6:30 p.m. May meeting for the state chapter of the national nonprofit that financially and emotionally supports families who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, and helps them honor the life of their child. facebook.com/MATEARS Sophisticated Stories. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 7:30 p.m.-8:15 p.m.

Enjoy cool, strange, weird, and wacky picture books, proving that you are never too old for picture books. For grades 3 and up. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

17 Tuesday Dress Up Your Stuffed Pet Day. Children’s Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Bring your favorite stuffed pet to the Museum today, as we explore clothing, fabric, and lacing with yarn and thread. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Matt Heaton Family Singalong. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 11 a.m.11:45 a.m. The Toddlerbilly Troubadour brings an infectious energy to his singalongs, peppered with well-known classics and a few soon-to-be classics, performed with panache on guitar and banjo. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Pet Crafts and Therapy Pets. Fitchburg Public Library, 610 Main St., Fitchburg. 4 p.m4:45 p.m. Drop in during this afternoon as we host a therapy pet and have a pet-themed craft.

Free. fitchburgpubliclibrary.org.

Teen Crafterhours. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 7 p.m. Come with friends or make some new ones, as you sit back for a relaxing evening of craft-making and snacking. For grades 6 and up. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

18 Wednesday Backyard and Beyond: Great Hill Exploration. Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m. Explore some of the trails that wind through the wooded 184 acres along with museum staff. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Dance and Movement Class. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 10 a.m.10:45 a.m. The Joanne Langione Dance Center presents a music and movement class for toddlers and preschoolers. For ages 2 to 5. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Toddler Time on the Farm. Gore Place, 52 Gore St., Waltham. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Help

plant seeds, water raised beds, and pick vegetables. For age 2. Member children $5, nonmember children $10. goreplace.org.

Third Week Wonders: Yucky Worms. Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester.

10 a.m.-11 a.m. A thematic hour filled with stories, activities, and a naturalist-led walk, as we explore worms. Continues on Thursday and Saturday. Member children $3, nonmember children $4, adults free. massaudubon.org.

ARTfull Play. deCordova Sculpture Park and Museum, 11 Sandy Pond Rd., Lincoln. 10:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Engage with art, stories, materials, nature, and new friends during unique multisensory activities. Recommended for ages 2 to 5.

Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $14, children 12 and under free. decordova.org.

Library Craft Night: Winking Owls.

Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 6 p.m.-7 p.m. Listen to The Night Gardener and My Garden before making foam winking owl decorations. For ages 3 to 7.

Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Leominster Chronicles: Obscure Stories from the Comb City. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. Local historian Mark Bodanza presents an illustrated talk on some of the lesser-known historical facts and oddities about Leominster. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

LEGO WeDo. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 7 p.m.-8 p.m. Awaken kids’ curiosity and interest in problem solving as kids build LEGO models and then program them to move and react. For kids ages 7 to 10. Register ahead.

Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

19 Thursday Fantastic, Fascinating Flowers. Children’s Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m.11 a.m. Go beyond a flower’s petals while dissecting and uncovering its insides, before mixing and matching the parts from your flower with others to create your very own fantastic flora. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Toddler Time. Morse Institute Library, 14 East Central St., Natick. 10:30 a.m.-10:50 a.m.

Enjoy language play for caregivers and little runabouts with songs, rhymes, stories, and stretches for toddlers and grown-ups. For walkers under age 2. Register ahead. Free. morseinstitute.org.

Flower Take Aparts. Science Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m.

Challenge yourself to identify the different parts of a flower, then create your own variety. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Magic Wings

Open 7 days a week All year round.

Butterfly Conservatory & Gardens

es gre e d s 80 s! way c Wing l a It’s t Magi a

Looking for something amazing to do with your family and friends? Visit Magic Wings and marvel at the beauty of nearly 4,000 butterflies, as they fly around you in our tropical indoor conservatory. Open daily 9-5. Gift shop, food court and Monarchs Restaurant on site.

413-665-2805 www.magicwings.com 281 Greenfield Rd. South Deerfield MA 01373 46 MAY2016

It’s New • It’s Fun • It Starts May 4th We bring the inspiration and the paints. You bring the fun!

Join us the first Wednesday of the Month from 7:00-9:00 pm Raise your glass to a NEW kind of night out! Paint Nite® invites you to create art over cocktails at the All-Star Bar & Grill, located at the Best Western Royal Plaza Hotel & Trade Center. Where you will be guided by a professional artist and party host. Grab your friends and spend two hours drinking, laughing, and flexing your creative muscles. There’s no

experience necessary and we’ll provide all the supplies, so you don’t have to worry about a thing (except having a great time!). Must be 21+. Food and drink may be purchased at the event. www.rplazahotels/news For more information contact: Colleen McManus 508-303-1782 or cmcmanus@rplazahotels.com.

Our facility is also Available for : • Birthday Parties • Showers • Weddings • Proms and Reunions

BEST WESTERN Royal Plaza Hotel & Trade Center 181 Boston Post Road W Marlborough, MA 01752 888.543.9500 | www.rplazahotels.com BAYSTATEPARENT 47

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

Beginner Bookworms. Fitchburg Public Library, 610 Main St., Fitchburg. 4:30 p.m.5:30 p.m. Join us for reading and a craft, during this evening activity to enter your child into a world of books and reading. Register ahead.

Free. fitchburgpubliclibrary.org.

Pajamarama. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 6 p.m.-7:30 p.m.

Enjoy crafts, music, and more along the theme “Spring Fling” — all in our pajamas.

Recommended for ages 3 to 7. Free. leominsterlibrary.net.

Dinner and a Show at the Meeting House.

Old South Meeting House, 310 Washington St., Boston. 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m. An evening of spirited musical and theatrical entertainment on the 250th anniversary of Bostonians’ celebration of the repeal of the Stamp Act. Members $30, nonmembers $40. oldsouthmeetinghouse.org.

20 Friday STEAM Garden. Fitchburg Public Library, 610 Main St., Fitchburg. 10:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. This playgroup introduces children to science, technology, engineering, arts, and math through play. Free. fitchburgpubliclibrary.org.

Make It and Take It. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 2 p.m.-4 p.m. Drop in to spend quality time with your child and other patrons, as we make a craft, read a book, schmooze, and relax. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Exploring Nano: The Smallest Science.

Science Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton.

2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Join us for hands-on educational activities about nanoscale science, engineering, and technology, through oobleck, kinetic sand, and more. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Tween/Teen Canvas Club. Art Reach Studio, 322 West Boylston St., Worcester. 7 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Paint a funky chair for your room, design your own cell phone case, create a cool pillow for your bed, bring your photos to life by making a photo transfer canvas, stencil quote boards, “Alpha” art, glow painting, and more. For ages 10-15. $10, includes supplies, pizza, and drink. artreachstudioafs.com.

Pajama Party in PlaySpace. Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston.

7:30 p.m.-8 p.m. Toddlers and the young at heart are invited to wear their pajamas for games, songs, and picture-stories. Free with 48 MAY2016

admission. Members free, nonmembers $1, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

Full Moon Outdoor Tour. Gore Place, 52 Gore St., Waltham. 7:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m. Put on your boots and join us for an outdoor tour as the sun sets and the full moon rises. Learn about the history of early New England farming and how farms operate today. Members free; nonmember adults $10, children $5. goreplace.org.

The Meow Opening Party. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester. 8 p.m.-11 p.m. Immerse yourself in everything feline with an evening packed with a variety of entertainment from Grand Beatbox Battle Championship Gene Shinozaiki, Ballet Arts Worcester, Brother Zack and Sister Helen, and more, as we open The Captivating Cat: Felines and the Artist’s Gaze. Register ahead. Members $10, nonmembers $20, youths under 17 $5. worcesterart.org.

21 Saturday Garden Prep Day. Grafton Public Library, 35 Grafton Common, Grafton. 9 a.m.-12 p.m.

Help us weed, mulch, and add nutrients to the soil in our raised beds. Free. graftonlibrary.org.

5K Historical Road Race. Zeh School, 33 Howard St., Northborough. 9 a.m. Enjoy this site-centric race through the town of Northborough as it celebrates its 250th anniversary during this 5K race and 1K family run.

Register ahead. $35 per family. lightboxreg. com/northborough-250th-5k-2016.

Endangered Species Day. Stone Zoo, 149 Pond St., Stoneham. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Honor Endangered Species Day by asking zookeepers questions, and view our endangered species that we host, including snow leopards, Mexican gray wolves, white-cheeked gibbons, and jaguars.

Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $16, children 2 to 12 $12, children under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

Basic Basket Weaving Workshop.

Fruitlands Museum, 102 Prospect Hill Rd., Harvard. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. A four-hour workshop during which time participants will learn traditional basket weaving techniques, including how to lay out a base, weave up the sides, and rim and lash in flat reed. Register ahead. Members $35, nonmembers $45. fruitlands.org.

Family Yoga Class. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 10:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Chuck the to-do list and enjoy an hour of fun, learning, and connection with your loved ones through age-appropriate poses, cooperative games, partner poses, and simple mindfulness activities. For ages 3 to 12 with caregiver. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Backyard and Beyond: Birds of a Feather.

Science Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton.

Photo by Ken Kotch

Bilingual Storytime: Spanish. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 4 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Enjoy this special bilingual story-time with stories, songs, and movement in English and Spanish. For ages 3 to 5. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

GO MOVE Jordan’s Furniture Walk/Run for Adoption, Taunton.

May 22.

11 a.m.-2 p.m. Learn about the wonderful properties of feathers and how they make birds such unique creatures. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Puppets Take the Pops. Symphony Hall, 301 Massachusetts Ave., Boston. 3 p.m. & 8 p.m. Enjoy this collaboration between the Boston Pops and the University of Connecticut’s Puppet Arts Program during this stunning grand symphonic musical evening illustrated by imaginative puppets of all kinds and sizes. $24-$99. bso.org.

Puppet Showplace Slam. Puppet Showplace Theater, 32 Station St., Brookline. 8 p.m. Enjoy live music and the region’s finest puppetry acts.

Recommended for ages 13 and up. $15. puppetshowplace.org.

22 Sunday Jordan’s Furniture Walk/Run for Adoption. Jordan’s Furniture, 450 Revolutionary Drive, E. Taunton. 10 a.m.

Proceeds benefit the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange (mareinc.org). jordanswalkforadoption.org.

Free Day with Russian Icons. Museum of Russian Icons, 203 Union St., Clinton. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Join the museum, in conjunction with Freedom’s Way 2016 Hidden Treasures event, by exploring the Museum of Russian Icons free throughout the day.

Free. musueumofrussianicons.org.

Play Ball! Reflections on the Origins of Baseball. The Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art, 125 West Bay Rd., Amherst. 1 p.m. & 3 p.m. Join the Berkshire Theatre Group as it

presents a fantastic blend of history, poetry, and humor to create an exciting hilarious play learning the rules and terms of baseball. Members $5.50, nonmembers $6.50. carlemuseum.org.

Connecting with Nature: Identification and Uses of Local Plants. Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 1 p.m.-4 p.m.

Discover some of the 2,000 local plant species that grow throughout the seasons, and learn how we can use these greenest of elements in our everyday life. Register ahead. Member adults $10, nonmember adults $13. massaudubon.org.

The 9th Annual Celebration of the Dr. Martin T. Feldman Children’s Room.

Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 1:30 p.m.-4 p.m. Come for a blowout of an afternoon during this annual celebration filled with glimmer art temporary tattoos, balloon art, animal adventures, crafts, music, refreshments, and more. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

The Airborne Jugglers. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 1:30 p.m.2 p.m. & 3:30 p.m.-4 p.m. Enjoy world-class performers Joe Murray and Susan Kirby as they put forth a delightful high-energy show, with plate spinning demonstrations to follow. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

The Norman Magic Experience. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 2:15 p.m.-3 p.m. Families are invited to join us for a show that is an exciting blend of never-beforeseen magic, comedy, and audience participation.

Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

KIDZ BOP Kids: Life of the Party 2016 Tour. Calvin Theater, 19 King St., Northampton.

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! 3 p.m. The smash hit group brings their tour to Massachusetts. $25-$50. iheg.com.

Especially for Me: ASD Evening. Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 3:30 p.m.-7 p.m. An evening specially designed for families with children on the autism spectrum, with dinner and a visit from the Indian Hill Music School.

Register ahead. Free. discoverymuseums.org.

Yoga at the Sanctuary. Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 4:30 p.m.-5:30 p.m. Experience yoga surrounded by the serenity of nature and discover what each pose feels like from the inside out. For ages 16 and older.

Register ahead. Members $15, nonmembers $17. massaudubon.org.

Backyard and Beyond: Mosses and Lichens. Children’s Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m. Join us for a quick walk on the Great Hill Conservation Land to collect some mosses and lichens and then bring them back to the Museum to make an art project with your finds. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Frankenweenie. Fitchburg Public Library, 610 Main St., Fitchburg. 1 p.m. Celebrate the half-day of school by enjoying snacks as we watch this animated film about a boy who raises his pet dog from the dead. For grades 5 and up.

Free. fitchburgpubliclibrary.org.

Boston. 8 p.m. This interactive concert experience with the Boston Pops allows the audience to choose the music on the spot. $24-$99. bso.org.

Pajama Time Yoga. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 6 p.m.-7 p.m. Join us during this yoga and relaxation class introducing poses and techniques using musical flows and stories. For ages 3 to 7. Register ahead. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

26 Thursday Everyday Engineering: Straw Structures.

Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton.

10 a.m.-11 a.m. & 2 p.m.-4:30 p.m. Engage in some everyday engineering as you construct and create with repurposed and recycled materials as we explore shapes, structures, and more with just straws and pipe cleaners between the Children and Science Discovery Museums. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Anime and Manga Society. Leominster Public Library, 30 West St., Leominster. 6:30 p.m.-9 p.m. A program for manga and anime fans with films, snacks, door prizes, other giveaways, and previews of new library materials. For ages 13 and up. Free. leominsterlibrary.org.

Pops On Demand: You Choose the Tunes.

Symphony Hall, 301 Massachusetts Ave.,

Infants • Toddlers • Preschool Full Time Part Time

Flower Mandalas for Meditation, Healing and Coloring. Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m. Internationally acclaimed photographer David J. Bookbinder will discuss his awardwinning flower mandalas. For ages 16 and older.

Register ahead. Members free, nonmembers $5. massaudubon.org.

23 Monday Funny Face. Coolidge Corner Theatre, 290 Harvard St., Brookline. 7 p.m. The film adaptation of the 1927 George Gershwin Broadway musical starring Fred Astaire as a fashion photographer, sent out to discover a new face, found out to be Audrey Hepburn’s Jo. Adults $12, children $10. coolidge.org.

24 Tuesday Fairyborough Trail Hunt. Discovery Museums, 177 Main St., Acton. 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m.

Celebrate National Scavenger Hunt Day as you put your skills of observation to the test and find out what strange things have been popping up in the Fairyborough. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org. iStorytime. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 11 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Watch and listen to a story, sing a song, play an instrument.

For ages up to 4. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

25 Wednesday Volunteer Day at Broad Meadow Brook.

Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 10 a.m.-12 p.m. Help care for the sanctuary and enjoy a few hours of fresh air, fun, and fulfillment, as we fill bird feeders, tend the gardens, put up signs, and more. Free. massaudubon.org.

verly e B n i r e t n e C Cummings ! w o N g n i l l o r n E ation.

78 for more inform

Call (617) 838-68

Kindercam in every classroom!

We have cameras in every classroom that parents can log onto throughout the day and watch their children at the center!

• Structured curriculum beginning at 15 months • All staff members are infant/child CPR and first aid certified • Weekly visits from The Story Teller, Music Man, My First Yoga, The Tumble Bus, Happy Feet and Hoop It (Kids Basketball)

Owner operated since 1994 Very competitive rates

www.thelearningzoneonline.com Woburn (781) 932-1070 23 Warren Ave.

Framingham (508) 872-3600 63 Fountain St.

Belmont (617) 489-1161 279 Belmont St.

Waltham (781) 891-3600 295 Weston St.

Weston (781) 642-6787 101 River Road

Beverly (978) 969-6679 600 Cummings Center BAYSTATEPARENT 49

OH, THE PLACES YOU’LL GO! Members free, nonmembers $16, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

Introduction to American Indian Music.

Fitchburg Public Library, 610 Main St., Fitchburg. 6 p.m.-7:45 p.m. Join us as we drum away the blues by highlighting and learning about and listening to Native American music.

Free. fitchburgpubliclibrary.org.

Backyard Builders. Children’s Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 11 a.m.-2 p.m.

Design, build, and explore as we fill the museum’s yard with one-of-a-kind structures through blankets and boxes turned forts, castles, spaceships, and more. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Playwrights Group Staged Reading.

Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton.

7 p.m.-9 p.m. Members of the library’s Playwrights group give staged readings of their works. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

29 Sunday

Illuminate: Express Yourself. Wang Theatre, 270 Tremont St., Boston. 7 p.m. Watch as 150 Express Yourself youth and special guests put on a performance featuring music, dance, theater, and visual arts during this grand annual performance. Free. citicenter.org.

Arms + Armor Demonstrations. Worcester Art Museum, 55 Salisbury St., Worcester.

11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Learn all about different kinds of arms and armor used by knight and soldiers, including Romans, Medieval knights, and more. Free with admission. Members free; nonmember adults $14, children ages 4 to 17 $6, children 3 and under free. worcesterart.org.

27 Friday Friday Morning Birds. Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, 414 Massasoit Rd., Worcester. 7 a.m.-9 a.m.

Enjoy a leisurely birding experience and help document the sanctuary birds over the season as we explore different corners of the sanctuary.

Register ahead. Member adults free, nonmember adults $5. massaudubon.org.

Support and Strategies for Parents of Infants Through Teens

Parenting Solutions • Discipline strategies that work • Sleep and bedtime problems • Changing disrespectful behavior • Helping children with behavior problems in preschool settings • Keeping your teen out of trouble • Dealing with parenting differences • Solving stepfamily problems • Making divorce work for children Visit our website for more information www.parentingsolutionsprograms.com

PARENTING SOLUTIONS

6 Colonial Drive Suite 2, Westboro, MA 508-366-7557

Sylvia Sirignano, Ph.D. Developmental Psychologist, Director Individual Parent Consultations Marital Mediation • Divorce Mediation Post-divorce Mediation and Consultation

50 MAY2016

GO WOOL Wool Days, Old Sturbridge Village, May 27-30.

Wool Days. Old Sturbridge Village, 1 Old Sturbridge Village Rd., Sturbridge. 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Join us as the sheep get their yearly “haircuts” this weekend, as farmers shear the sheep, meet the animals, approach different wools, see wool demonstrations, and join in on carding, knitting, and crocheting wool. Through Monday.

Free with admission. Adults $28, youths 3 to 17 $14, children 2 and under free. osv.org.

Anime Appetizers. Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester. 3 p.m.-5 p.m. Come to the Banx Room for a trivia contest with awesome prizes and a sampler platter of the best Japanese cartoons out there, during this evening session with snacks, prizes, and a place to kick back and chat. For ages 13 to 17. Free. mywpl.org.

your bed, bring your photos to life by making a photo transfer canvas, stencil quote boards, “Alpha” art, glow painting, and more. For ages 10-15. $10, includes supplies, pizza, and drink. artreachstudioafs.com.

28 Saturday Star Wars Day. Franklin Park Zoo, 1 Franklin Park Rd., Boston. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Guests are invited to join the Star Wars fun, as costumed characters roam the zoo while animals enjoy special Star Wars-themed treats and enrichment items throughout the day. Free with admission.

Members free; nonmember adults $20, children 2 to 12 $13, children under 2 free. zoonewengland.org.

KIBO Robots. Newton Free Library, 330 Homer St., Newton. 4 p.m.-4:45 p.m. Build a robot with KIBO, program it to do what they want, and decorate it. For ages 5 to 6. Free. newtonfreelibrary.net.

Play Date: Contemporary Art Improv.

The Institute of Contemporary Art: Boston, 100 Northern Ave., Boston. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Step on stage with actors from Improv Boston and create your own artist’s book for notes, sketches, and more in our Art Lab. Free. icaboston.org.

KidsJam. Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston. 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m. An all-ages dance party featuring a live DJ, dance lessons, games, and of course, lots of dancing.

Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $1, children under 1 free. bostonchildrensmuseum.org.

Art Lessons with Bayda. Worcester Public Library: Main Branch, 3 Salem Sq., Worcester.

11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Learn about and try your own hand at Sanskrit Calligraphy during this morning activity designed for kids to enjoy. For ages 7 to 12. Free. mywpl.org.

Tween/Teen Canvas Club. Art Reach Studio, 322 West Boylston St., Worcester. 7 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Paint a funky chair for your room, design your own cell phone case, create a cool pillow for

Be Well Series: Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day. Boston Children’s Museum, 308 Congress St., Boston. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Learn to build positive coping skills through fun games and creative activities. Free with admission.

30 Monday Tall Tales: Stories and Songs from Old New England. Puppet Showplace Theater, 32 Station St., Brookline. 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Come along on this whirlwind tour of New England’s tallest stales where you will meet legendary giant sailor Alfred Bulltop Stormalong, the fashionable bear Jenny Jenkins, and more. $12. puppetshowplace.org.

31 Tuesday Make a MESS: Build-a-Brush. Children’s Discovery Museum, 177 Main St., Acton. 10 a.m.-11 a.m. Using a variety of different materials, drop in and see what types of brushes we can create, from big to small, and from hard to soft. Free with admission. Members free, nonmembers $12.50, children under 1 free. discoverymuseums.org.

Your Event + Our Calendar = Awesome Want your event listed in our comprehensive monthly listing of Massachusetts family fun?

Send the details to editor@baystateparent.com by the first week of the month.

For example, May events should be submitted by the first week of April.

THE THINKING PARENT

How To Help Children Deal With Peer Rejection

BY SHIANNA CRUZ

To

me, they all looked about the same: cute little girls in leotards, preparing to learn cartwheels and back handsprings. But to the 10-year-olds around me, there were clear differences.

“Did you see that new girl? She barely does her hair. I mean, did you see all those fly-aways on her head?”

I heard one girl whisper to another.

“I know, and she acts like she’s better than us already,” replied the friend.

Moments later, the girl they’d been eyeing approached with a smile, and they ignored her, walking away, leaving her nervous and alone. The snubbed girl wasn’t my child, but my child was the new girl in another class that day, and I felt my inner Mama Bear growl. What I wanted to do was run over to the “snubbers” and encourage them to be kinder, to be inclusive rather than exclusive, to give the new girl a chance. I wanted to protect the new girl from losing self-confidence and developing feelings of shame. But before I could intervene, the new girl bounced back, happily singing along with her iPhone while she stretched and waited for her instructor to call her in.

I realized in that moment that I had nearly cost this child an opportunity for emotional growth and mastery.

Negative peer experiences, such as rejection, can activate basic negative emotions such as sadness, anger, and self-consciousness.

A 2013 Journal of Youth and Adolescence article reported that children who endured more gossip, exclusion, and other relationally harmful behavior grew more sensitive to rejection, and thus exhibited more loneliness and depression than their non-rejected peers.

These outcomes are exactly what parents fear and what motivates their desire to exert the “Mother Bear” instinct. However, unless the child is actually in danger, parental intervention can often do more harm than good. All people will one day experience rejection, either from a peer group, a competitive team, a school, a friend, or an employer. Our job as parents is not to put a BandAid on any single hurt, but to help our children develop the strength to sustain repeated blows and the skill to self-soothe.

In recent years, peer relations research has focused on factors that allow some children to emerge from experiences of peer rejection relatively unscathed while others seem to be tugged into a whirlpool of pervasive rejection resulting in loneliness, depression, and adjustment difficulties.

One line of research has focused on the individual child, touting the value of personal resiliency, a trait often referred to as “grit.”

Paul Tough, author of How Children Succeed, defines grit as the ability to set a goal and strive toward it, even when faced with setbacks and difficulties. Grit represents a form of cognitive control, a way of managing destructive emotions so you can think through options and use the skills you have to reach an end goal.

Parents can foster grit by helping children verbally name and process negative feelings. Instead of telling a child to “ignore it” or “get over it,” parents should solicit feelings, assist children in naming them, then validate, and normalize the feelings.

Research has shown that children who attempt to “ignore” the problem, frequently isolate and rehash experiences over and over in their minds, a practice linked to later depression, excessive worry, and failed coping strategies.

Rather than engage the Mother Bear instinct and jump into the fray, parents should be encouraged to foster their child’s belief that they can do things on their own by promoting new coping skills. In general, children cope with peer rejection in four different ways: denial, internalizing (rumination), aggression and retaliation, and active coping.

In cases of peer rejection, research indicates that children who engage in denial, internalizing (rehashing their experience, isolating, and engaging in wishful thinking), and aggressive coping are more likely to experience feelings of sadness and anxiety than those who engage in active coping.

Strategies shown to improve chil-

dren’s long-term success in navigating social situations include: • Telling a person they are making you feel badly.

• Telling a teacher.

• Getting help or advice from a peer.

• Engaging in distracting activities (like listening to favorite music on an iPhone).

• Talking to an adult about feelings related to the event.

• Engaging an adult in collaborative problem-solving to identify ways to skillfully re-enter the social scene, such as using humor.

No parent wants to see a child get rejected. This is especially true when we work so hard to encourage our own children to be inclusive and kind. We cannot, nor should we, try to defend our children against rejection, but we can assist them in sorting through destructive feelings and developing a repertoire of effective skills for emotional regulation and social coping. In the end, we will be teaching a valuable life lesson: You are capable, worthy, resilient, and loved.

Taste of Local and Blossom Festival MAY 14TH AND MAY 15TH 8 A.M. TO 6 P.M.

• Free samples • • Hayrides through the orchard • • Myo crafts (MYO, make your own) • • Games • • Bouncy house• • Myo s’mores• • And so much more! •

“YOU WANT FRESH YOU WANT LOCAL”

Bring your camera to take pictures with the apple blossoms!

LOCAL PRODUCTS FREE SAMPLES!

294 Chase Rd Lunenburg • 978-582-6246 • www.lanniorchards.com Open daily 8:00 a.m.-6:00 p.m.

BAYSTATEPARENT 51

Your Key To a Stylish, Stainless Steel Lunch The Blue Water Bento Splash Box ($22.50) from ECOlunchbox provides a sleek, stainless-steel alternative to plastic lunch containers. Sporting a 3-cup capacity, the Splash Box features a watertight silicone lid, which allows you

Bites

The earth-friendly alternative to sandwich bags Sick of using countless sandwich and snack bags for your kids’ lunches? spbang reusable snack bags ($9.99) were created by a mom inventor who was tired of throwing out plastic baggies and could never get reusable fabric bags clean. spbang’s environmentally friendly bags are crafted with food-safe material that contains no lead, BPA, or phthalates. Dishwasher-safe, the bag also sports a spot where parents can write a note to kids with a non-permanent marker. spbang.com.

Small changes can make a huge difference!

BY LESLIE REICHERT

52 MAY2016

When we think of all the different things that stress the Earth, it’s hard to believe that what we do inside our homes can really make a difference. Making a few changes in your family’s habits may not seem like you’re doing much to help our environment. But try multiplying those small changes by the number of homes in the U.S., and you’ll start to see where we can make an impact.

There are 115 million households in the U.S., so when we multiply a small change by that number, everything becomes impactful.

Here’s an example of one change that could make a real difference to our water system. The EPA Website states the average home in the U.S. uses 400 gallons of water every day and 108 gallons of that goes down the toilet. If you are using a “lazy man’s” toilet cleaner (meaning you put something in the tank that adds a chemical every time your flush) you are tainting 108 gallons of water with a cleaning chemical every day. By switching to an allnatural toilet bowl cleaner, you can remove toxins in 25% of the water you are using in your home. If we could get everyone to switch to a greener toilet bowl cleaner, we

to toss it into a lunch bag, backpack, or briefcase with no worries about leaking. Lightweight and dishwasher safe, the Splash Box is a great environmentally friendly pick for lunch. ecolunchboxes.com.

Two super dishwashing products Boon has released two super useful products for anyone on dishwashing duty. The Forb Mini ($11.99) is a colorful soap-dispensing brush made of tough silicone petals. Great for cleaning toddler dishes and adult non-stick cookware, it’s also an alternative to nylon bristles and sponges that leave scratches.

The Span ($11.99) is the perfect companion for the top rack of a dishwasher stacked with tiny cups, lids, and assorted eating and drinking accessories. Span hooks onto the

could remove toxins from 12.5 billions of gallons of water every day!

Here are some other simple things you can do in your home that will make a difference to you, your family, and the Earth.

• Your bathroom faucet puts out two gallons of water a minute. If you brush your teeth for the recommended two minutes and leave the water running while you brush, you are wasting four gallons of water.

An average family of four can save 11,680 gallons of water every year by turning off the water while they brush.

• Keep your family healthier by keeping pollution out of your home.

WebMD recommends keeping your floors clean and fresh to keep your home’s indoor air quality at its best. A vacuum cleaner with a HEPA filter will collect pollen, dander, and even lead that can accumulate in your home.

• Switch to a natural cleaner when scrubbing your kitchen sink. One very popular cleaning scrub has been found to have seven carcinogens and 146 airborne allergens.

Instead, try making a natural scrub that will work just as well — if not better. Mix equal parts table salt, baking soda, and oxygen bleach

dishwasher rack, and its stretchy silicone spreads like a superhero cape over everything to keep it all held firmly in place. booninc.com.

with a few drops of an essential oil, and you will have the perfect scrub for your kitchen sink. For the recipe and a video on how to make and use this scrub, go to greencleaningcoach.com.

• Stop creating a chemical cocktail in your home. Everyone knows that you shouldn’t mix cleaning chemicals like bleach and ammonia in a bucket, but what happens when they mix in the air? Fumes from your cleaning products mix and can create a toxic environment for your family. Learn about the ingredients that are in the products you are using. You can use Websites such as EWG.org to find out what’s in the products you are using in your home.

• Put up a clothesline and hang dry some of your laundry. You don’t have to hang dry everything, but try putting some items out in the sun instead of in the dryer. Not only will this save energy, but it will also save on the wear and tear of your clothes. You definitely want to hang dry your bed sheets outside in the sunshine. Give them a little spritz of lavender water (use a cup of vodka and 7 drops of lavender essential oil), and you’ll be amazed at how well you sleep.

Mars to Remove All Artificial Color From Products Food manufacturer Mars, Inc. has announced it will remove all artificial colors from its “human food” products as part of a “commitment to meet evolving consumer preferences.”

Some of the company’s “human food products” include mega candy brands M&Ms, Snickers, Twix, 3 Musketeers, the non-candy Uncle Ben’s line, and more.

Changes will be made incrementally across Mars’ chocolate, gum, confection, food and drink businesses over the next five years.

“Eliminating all artificial colors from

Coming July 2016: Discovery Woods!

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our human food portfolio is a massive undertaking, and one that will take time and hard work to accomplish,” said Mars President and CEO Grant F. Reid. “Our consumers are the boss and we hear them. If it’s the right thing to do for them, it’s the right thing to do for Mars.”

Study: BPA-free Plastic May Still Be Risky

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Apple Blossom and Craft Festival The Washington Post reports that BPA-alternative Bisphenol S (BPS), used in some products advertised as “BPA-free,” may have the same potentially harmful effects as the chemical it was meant to replace.

A study published in the journal Endocrinology compared the effects of BPA and BPS on zebrafish embryos, and noted that “BPS seemed to be

acting as an endocrine disrupter, just as BPA did,” The Post wrote.

The newspaper notes that “many” in endocrinology are concerned that the chemicals could be tied to a host of human issues: cancers of the reproductive organs, premature births, early puberty, and genital malformation, just to name a few.

at Sholan Farms

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DIVORCE AND SINGLE PARENTING

Traveling With Children: Key Co-Parent Concerns

BY ATTY. IRWIN M. POLLACK

One of the first tasks separating parents need to arrange is a parenting plan and a list of responsibilities for each parent.

During the school year, a schedule of the days, pick-up and drop-off points, and weekend rotations becomes a regular routine. But once long holiday weekends, vacation periods, and summer breaks come about, new issues arise.

The most important issue to consider is having a holiday schedule that supersedes your regular parenting schedule. With this in place, you can detail the fact that each parent will alternate holidays and school breaks throughout the year. Such a schedule can also avoid future arguments over who gets to plan a vacation with the kids during certain time periods. Your parenting plan also should include some of the following travel-related provisions: • Parents should notify each other if they plan to take the child out of state, and provide airline information, departure and arrival times, and hotel information where children can be reached for communication.

• Ensure both parents have access to birth certificates, passports, and other key documents required for traveling. If you are travelling out of state or out of the country with your child, keep a copy of your child’s birth certificate and your divorce agreement with you. The TSA is authorized to seek proof of parentage from any person traveling with a minor. And, remember, the rules have become more strict: If you’re traveling anyplace outside of the country — even Canada or the Caribbean — every person needs a passport.

Divorcing parents need to know that applications for a minor’s passport must be signed by both 54 MAY2016

parents. Additionally, the passport is excellent documentation of where the child has traveled, which allows the non-traveling parent to verify when the child left and when the child returned in case there are any questions of deception in the traveling parent’s agenda.

• Address sleeping arrangements.

What if one parent is against cosleeping and the other wants to take the child somewhere where there is only one bed? What if you have an infant and there’s concern about having a traveling crib or some other pack-and-play setup?

• What happens if the traveling parent wants to take the child on a trip that interferes with the school schedule, resulting in missed school days? Your son or daughter would enjoy going to Legoland or Disneyland, but what if that means missing the first full week back in school?

• How often should the children be able to communicate with the other parent while traveling? While this may appear to be a minute issue, you’d be surprised at how often this can create an emotional storm!

No matter how much you plan and think through the issues, there will undeniably be some related to travel that will frustrate either parent. But, the more issues you can address in advance, the less frustration you are likely to feel down the road.

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CAMP IT UP!

The Perfect Books

For Summer Camp Fun

BY MELISSA SHAW

here is many a novel about summer, but few about summer camp, a surprise when you think about the ever-growing middle-grade reader (ages 8-12) market.

Playwright and lifelong summer camper and advocate Stacy Davidowitz is out to fill that gap with her first two novels, Camp Rolling Hills and its sequel, Camp Rolling Hills: Crossing Over, both out this month.

“I’m 31 and I’ve technically skipped only one summer of not working at a camp,” the Long Island native says.

Davidowitz attended day camps until 5th grade, when she took on sleep-away camp in a decidedly non-traditional fashion: her family came, too.

“As a family, we all decided to do sleep-away camp together, Tyler Hill Camp in Pennsylvania,” she says.

“Mom worked as head of girls’ side.

“It became a very big family thing,” she continues, noting her siblings and cousins stayed as well.

“My whole family is so immersed in that scene. It’s been a big part of our lives and still is.”

Over the years, Davidowitz progressed to counselor, then head staff member, and still works day camp programs. In fact, her family

is still active in the camp industry, with her brother, who met his nowwife at camp, now Tyler Hill’s assistant director. Her mother, a retired educator, is now running a day camp in Southampton.

So it’s no surprise the selfdescribed “camp lifer” turned to the topic for writing inspiration.

In 2012, she joined two brothers, also summer camp veterans, and wrote a musical, Camp Rolling Hills, which revolved around a group of 12-year-olds’ camp adventures. The piece caught the attention of publisher Abrams Books, which signed Davidowitz to adapt it into a fourbook series.

In the ensuing years, the first-time novelist set out to turn the musical into a novel, then extend the adventures of pre-teen Stephanie, Bobby, and their bunkmates, into three subsequent books.

“It was very difficult, super different from writing plays and screenplays,” laughs the Tufts University graduate. “I was like, ‘I don’t know how to write sentences!’ It was definitely an adventure.”

In the first book, readers meet 12-year-old Stephanie, who is thrilled to be heading back to her favorite place, Camp Rolling Hills. In the boy’s bunk there’s Bobby, who’s on the opposite end of the spec-

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robots at home and not appreciated, but at camp that’s the coolest thing about them and that’s what makes them a superstar. Camp magnifies your strengths and makes you feel so good about who you are and what you do. You may not get that anywhere else. It helps you navigate what you want to do without feeling hindered by how anyone categorizes you at home.”

And she notes the experience empowers children in other ways, building skills that extend far beyond August.

“As a camper, you learn how you are and you learn that everyone loves you for who you are,” she adds. “At camp, there’s such open hearts. Everyone feels like they belong. It helps build confidence you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life. You learn to communicate really well. You learn to peer mediate.”

Fans of the book can expect Book 3 next April and Book 4 in 2018.

And readers may someday be able to see Camp Rolling Hills live via the musical. The production had its nationwide premiere in San Diego earlier this year and will debut on the East Coast in Westport, CT, next month. The latest news about the musical and book series can be found at camprollinghills.com.

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CAMP IT UP!

trum, not knowing what to make of his bunkmates and camp traditions like sing-alongs, pranks, and nicknames. The pair narrates the book and takes readers through the weird, wonderful, and wacky world of summer camp.

Davidowitz says summer camp is a perfect setting for a middle reader book, as it’s a place for children, especially tweens, to learn and grow in new ways.

“Camp gives a child the opportunity to reach his or her full potential in every aspect of being,” she says. “You have a kid learn so many social skills, but also skills that they might not learn otherwise, such as athletics. They’re also going to create these friendships that they’re going to stay with forever. Camp friends are like no other friends — that is the most amazing part about camp.”

One key advantage about the experience, especially at that tender age, is that it can provide a clean slate for a child who may feel pigeonholed at home, with friends they’ve known their entire lives, Davidowitz says.

“You can invent yourself or embrace that side of yourself that might not be embraced at home,” she notes. “You have kids who might be super nerdy building

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Please visit us online at www.summerfenn.org 58 MAY2016

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Eagle Hill School runs a five-week boarding summer session for students ages 10-16 who are average to superior in cognitive ability and have been identified with specific language based learning (dis)abilities and/or Attention Deficit Disorder.

LEARNING DIVERSITY This blog reflects our commitment to promoting a model of education that nurtures the diverse learning abilities of individuals.

We examine equitable and effective methods of teaching based on research, experience, and creative problem solving as opposed to prescribed “fixes.”

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Live and learn on campus. July 11-23.

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OPEN HOUSE Sunday, May 15, 2016 11:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m.

YWCA Summer Camp Brochure & Forms available online at www.ywcacm.org For More Information Contact: Camp Director 508-791-3181, ext. 3019 SchoolAge@ywcacentralmass.org

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BAYSTATEPARENT 61

our may favorites monday

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{Fact}

tuesday

Celebrations of mothers and motherhood can be traced back to the ancient Greeks and Romans, who held festivals in honor of the mother goddesses Rhea and Cybele.

The American incarnation of Mother’s Day was created by Anna Jarvis in 1908. Jarvis would later denounce the holiday’s commercialization and spend the latter part of her life trying to remove it from the calendar.

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Tiny Love’s new Gymini Kick & Play — City Safari brings the jungle to your living room, providing endless entertainment and encouraging developmental skills. The multi-functional play mat features a baby-activated kick & play response pad, rattling toys, peek-a-boo windows, wind chime, three modes of use, and more. Visit baystateparent.com today and grab your chance to win this fun toy.

15{Fact} The mortarboard was so named because of its similarity in appearance to the plasterer’s tool (known as a hawk) used by bricklayers to hold mortar. The headwear for graduates is believed to have developed from the biretta, a similar-looking hat worn by Roman Catholic clergy.

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Unsurprisingly, Chewbeads were invented by the mother of a toddler who liked to put everything in his mouth, especially her necklaces. Head to baystateparent.com today for details on how to enter to win this 100% silicone teething necklace, safe for baby and chic for mom.

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The Discovery Store’s Bubble Science Kit gives kids the opportunity to study elasticity, surface tension, chemistry, light, and geometry through the bubble’s fragile nature — and have fun doing it!

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The first time “Pomp and Circumstance” was played in a graduation setting was when composer of the march, Edward Elgar, received an honorary doctorate from Yale in 1905. At the end of the ceremony, the march was performed as the recessional. It was so well received that it was soon played during graduation ceremonies at other prominent schools, and later, at most high schools and colleges in the U.S.

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19

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The historic origins of wedding anniversaries date back to the Holy Roman Empire, when husbands crowned their wives with a silver wreath on their 25th anniversary and a gold wreath on the 50th. Before 1937, only the 1st, 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th, 25th, 50th, and 75th anniversaries had an associated gift.

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BAYSTATEPARENT 63

ASK THE EXPERT

CORD BLOOD BANKING: Inside the Basic Facts

BY HONG-THAO N. THIEU, MD

“I didn’t bank my first child’s cord blood, but I am considering with my second.

What exactly is this and is it worth the investment?”

P

arents are understandably driven to take any and all measures to keep their children safe, and it is no surprise that many obstetrics and gynecology patients inquire about cord blood banking.

While banked cord blood can be life-saving for children and their close relatives, parents must look at the financial costs relative to the likelihood of need — a determination that may vary based on family medical history. Understanding the basic facts about cord blood banking is an important precursor to discussing this with a physician.

Why families bank cord blood The blood from a newborn’s umbilical cord is commonly drained and discarded shortly after birth, but some parents opt to have this blood stored in what is often a private bank for potential future use, called cord blood banking.

The blood in a child’s umbilical cord has been found to have a rich supply of stem cells, which can differentiate into a variety of hematopoietic cell lines. Storing it in a bank means the blood can be used to treat a number of blood-borne illnesses should they occur in your child or a close relative, some of which include leukemia, lymphoma, and anemia. The banked blood allows families facing these illnesses to avoid more invasive procedures, such as a bone marrow transplant.

Evaluating costs and your family’s needs Families should fully understand the cost of cord blood banking relative to its likely use. The setup alone of a cord blood bank costs thousands of dollars, and the banks often charge hundreds of dollars annually to maintain.

Parents with a history of bloodborne diseases in their family may want to strongly consider banking their child’s cord blood, and they should discuss this option with a physician. Those without such medical history must weigh whether a low likelihood of needing a cord blood infusion is worth the investment.

A 2008 study, “Lifetime Probabilities of Hematopoietic Stem Cell Transplantation in the U.S.,” published in Biology of Bone Marrow Transplant, found that the lifetime probabilities of undergoing hematopoietic stem cell transplantation (HSCT) in the U.S. — the 64 MAY2016

process by which cord blood cells are used to treat blood-borne illnesses — range from 0.23% to 0.98%. Further, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists do not support the practice of blood banking for most people.

There is no physical harm to banking this often-discarded blood — and it can be done as a precaution if money is no object — but this is not the case for most families.

Cord blood banks are often private Parents should be aware that while there are some public blood banks, often affiliated with universities, most of the banks that store cord blood are private. Once the blood is drained following your child’s birth, it is turned over to the blood bank and is no longer in possession or control of the hospital. When parents opt to bank their child’s cord blood, they must work with the bank to determine legal matters surrounding use and access.

Whether a child’s risk of bloodborne illnesses is worth the cost of cord blood banking is a determination only parents can make.

Families with limited financial resources must weigh other areas in which this money could be spent, such as saving for a child’s college education. As families strive to ensure the future health and happiness of their children, deciding where best to divert financial resources can be challenging.

Gathering facts is the first step.

Hong-Thao N. Thieu, MD, is an obstetrician and gynecologist at Tufts Medical Center, and director of the hospital’s OB/GYN Residency Program. Dr. Thieu is also an assistant professor at Tufts University School of Medicine.

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ArtReach............................................................... 57 B.A.W. Inc............................................................. 60 Bancroft School..................................................... 67 Bay Path University............................................... 35 Becker College...................................................... 60 Big Y Foods, Inc....................................................... 6 Camp CRAFT Lancaster........................................... 56 Children’s Development Network, Inc....................... 8 Children’s Friend Inc................................................ 5 Children’s Orchard-Westboro.................................. 25 Clark University Basketball Camp........................... 56 Community Nursery School (The)........................... 13 Cornerstone Academy.............................................. 7 Cushing Academy.................................................. 58 Danforth Museum of Art........................................ 58 Davis Farmland.....................................................45 Discovery Museums............................................... 53 Eagle Hill School............................................... 42,59 Ecotarium.........................................................46,55 F3......................................................................... 10 Fay School............................................................. 61 Fitchburg Art Museum............................................ 43 Fletcher Tilton PC................................................... 38 FMC Ice Sports.........................................................4 Gymnastics Learning Center................................... 32 Heywood Hospital.................................................. 33 Hood..................................................................... 23 Incrediflix............................................................. 57 Karen Moriarty Photography................................. 27 Kathy Corrigan’s Gymnastics.................................. 57 Krave Fitness & Nutrition....................................... 35 Lanni Orchards...................................................... 51 Legoland Discovery Center Boston.......................... 63 Magic Wings Butterfly Conservatory....................... 46 Mall At Whitney Field........................................ 12,16 Mass Audubon Society........................................... 55 Millbury Federal Credit Union................................ 24 Oak Meadow......................................................... 29 Pakachoag Community Music School...................... 24 Parenting Solutions................................................ 50 Reliant Ready Med................................................ 31 Royal Plaza Hotel.................................................. 47 Shawna Shenette Photography............................... 64 Sholan Farms........................................................ 53 Shrewsbury Children’s Center................................. 59 Smuggler’s Notch Resort........................................ 44 Spa Tech Institute.................................................. 11 St. Mary’s Schools.................................................. 25 Summer Fenn/The Fenn School.............................. 58 Swings & Things.................................................... 29 The Learning Zone................................................. 49 UMass Memorial Medical Center...................39,42,68 Wachusett Theatre Company.................................... 3 Whale Camp.......................................................... 60 Worcester Academy............................................... 55 Worcester Art Museum........................................2,32 Worcester Kids’ Dentist.......................................... 39 WPI....................................................................... 61 YMCA Central Branch............................................. 17 YWCA of Central Massachusetts.............................. 61 BAYSTATEPARENT 65

TAKE EIGHT

with Kirk Davis Hopkinton parents Kirk and Laurie Davis purchased what became baystateparent in June 2002. The parents of a son, with a daughter on the way, the Davises longed to own a parenting magazine that would be a blend of their personal and professional ambitions. Today the father of two teens — and a 20-year-old magazine — looks back at the past 14 years, as well as the changes along the way.

1

Twenty is a big milestone. What springs to mind when you think “20” and “baystateparent”?

What springs to mind is the fact that I have had the privilege of owning the magazine for 14 of its 20-year run. I have been in publishing all of my life. Nothing I’ve done quite compares to the pride and joy I’ve derived from helping to guide parents and families, and share their stories

When did you first see the magazine, then known as Today’s Parent, and what made you think, “I want to buy that magazine!”

I became aware of Today’s Parent in 2001. It was shortly after I acquired the wonderful weekly newspaper, The Landmark, which is based in Holden. I desired to build a small, high-quality, local publishing company, and thought that the parenting magazine would be a great fit.

3

Eighteen months after you bought the magazine, you changed its name.

Why did you decide to make the change and how did you decide on baystateparent?

In 2002, there was already a proliferation of parenting publications and online sites.

I wanted to make sure that the magazine identified with a geographic region. I wanted to emphasize that we were focused on families in Massachusetts and their stories.

4

baystateparent has a noted and long-standing commitment to covering adoption, but readers may not know why. Why is continued coverage of adoption important to you and the magazine?

As I was going through the process to acquire the magazine, my wife and I were also going through the process of adopting our daughter. At one point, I had reviewed over 50 parenting publications from across the country. I was surprised that so little attention was given to educating, inspiring, and celebrating adoptive families and children. Acquiring the magazine coincided with our journey to adopt our daughter, Skylar. So, as I noted that coverage of the adoption community was thin or nonexistent in most regional parenting publications, I wanted to change that. When you become part of the adoption community, you learn how large it is and how many resources are available throughout the region to guide families through the process. We are blessed to be adoptive parents, and felt we had a wonderful opportunity before us to shine a light on the many families that grow through adoption.

66 MAY2016

2

5

What has surprised you most about the magazine over the years?

There are two things that come to mind. First, that I haven’t outgrown my passion for the magazine, despite the fact that my kids are now teenagers.

Also, the magazine clearly resonates most with expectant and new parents, which means we are always attracting a new audience.

Family life has changed dramatically over the past two decades. What do you think are the most critical issues affecting families today?

One that comes to mind is how families stay “connected.” Technology is clearly changing our culture as everyone in the home spends increasingly more time technologically connected to everything else, making it harder for families to enjoy consistent quality time and conversation. We all face that. Of course, violence and safety concerns in society are more commonly and vividly known and shared as a result of technology, too. It’s important to work hard at ensuring there is consistent quality time to discuss things. I’m no parenting expert, but I’m living this. Keep the conversations going — on all things that are important in your child’s life. And look over their shoulder…

7

6

Just like the magazine has grown, your children have grown from toddlers to teens.

How has parenting changed for you over the years?

I think the safety of our kids has become a larger issue and concern.

A little adversity is great, but I worry about everything and it is very difficult to let them go. So the discussions and lessons about things that I believe could help and protect them are on the rise — everyday.

I don’t want them to take their own safety for granted.

What’s next for baystateparent?

The next 20 years! Bringing all the tools available to provide an even greater resource to families. To keep telling the story of people’s lives here in Massachusetts. It’s a great place to live and raise a family. That’s our beat and we’re ready to take our mission to the next level. Thanks for supporting our mission.

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BAYSTATEPARENT 67

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