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Rhonda Brown and her neurosurgeon Peter Nakaji, MD
■ In November 2006, Rhonda Brown suffered a single major seizure that was the tipoff she had a meningioma. The tumor was in a bad location, wrapped around her brain stem, and challenging to treat. Barrow neurosurgeon Peter Nakaji, MD, performed two surgeries in early 2007 to remove as much of the tumor as possible, and then Brown underwent CyberKnife treatment to eradicate any remaining tumor. The year before her health crisis began, the retired Mesa woman had begun writing poetry. “I think about something, and it’s likely to emerge as a poem,” she says. “That’s how I process things.” Soon she was using her poetry to deal with the medical tests and procedures she underwent as part of her treatment. “As I was going through MRIs, I was thinking what words would describe this noise,” Brown says. When Brown gave Dr. Nakaji a poem at one appointment, he responded, “I’ll expect a poem at every visit.” Despite a few lingering issues, including a right eye that is partly paralyzed and a brain that processes a little more slowly, Brown is grateful for a recovery that’s better than she could have imagined early on. Thanks to surgery and radiosurgery; physical, speech, and occupational therapy; and the support of her family and friends, she has much to write about. ■
Meningioma Silent invader— Secret weaver— Casting sticky threads about the heart of who I am, Seeking to thieve me from me, To rob me of my self. But you could not. I walk more slowly, See a twisted face in the mirror— But I am still here In this distorted packaging I still have thought and words. You lose. - 2008
After Illness Health takes me by surprise I forget my cane Drink and swallow without thought Savor moments when body and mind Seem more alive Health takes me by surprise Senses return Light shines a bit more clearly I notice the feel of breeze on skin The dancing of leaf shadow on pavement Health takes me by surprise I breathe the scent of jasmine Taste chocolate more keenly My heart is light with well-being Health takes me by surprise - 2009
MRI Head gently confined I slide into the metal cocoon and wait for the mélange of sound that announces the waves I cannot see mapping the interior of my brain Taps Knocks Blasts of horn Jackhammer bursts Changing pitches Eight more taps Eight blasts Then silence Clanks More knocks telling the story of what’s residing in my skull I am in awe that this machine can plumb this awesome handiwork of gray matter - 2011
Transitions Sometimes I miss the face I used to have— The one without a crooked smile, With eyes that saw the world singly Without a shadowy double Hanging in each view Sometimes I miss the life I used to have— The one not bounded by bus schedule and route, With car keys jingling in my own pocket For easy choice Of where to go and when But the heart I used to have Is richer now, tried and stretched, Takes less for granted, Gives thanks for smaller things— Releasing what used to be Into the strong goodness of today. - 2012
Rhonda Brown Barrow Magazine
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