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THE BARDIAN’S GUIDE TO SHARING A BED Let’s be honest, sometimes a twin-sized bed isn’t big enough for one person, let alone two. We at the Free Press have compiled a list of some of our favorite positions for when you’re two gettin’ cozy in a bed meant for one. BY FP STAFF
This position is reserved for couples so comfortable with their affection for one another that they feel no need to assert it. Or for those who hate both each other and
Rarely a deliberate position, though sometimes a derivative of the Spoon, the fork screams of sexy nights where sleep comes so unexpectedly there’s no time to untangle your legs. If you fall asleep while forking, you’re doing something right.
Comfortable until the “pillow”’s arm falls asleep. A position oft seen in sappy romantic comedies. For the courtesy of the top cuddler, deodorant is a must.
Perfect for the awkward onenight stand you regret before it’s already begun. Can also be useful for drunken platonic friends forced to share a bed. Not recommended for those with bony spines.
TO KEEP IN MIND: if the person with whom you are sleeping has long hair, you will eventually end up choking on it. If these positions aren’t enough, we recommend forcing your roommate to leave and pushing the two beds together so you can cuddle in comfort and style. Have fun, and sweet dreams. art by austen hinkley
A tried and true classic, this position practically guarantees cozy nights of whispered secrets. Keep in mind, though, boner pokes from the big spoon might get in the way of sleep. If the big spoon has a penis, that is.