Baltimore Jewish Home - 7-15-21

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JULY 15, 2021

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h p m u i r T From Tragedy To

A Tisha B’av Experience for Women like Never Before! Introduction:

PROGRAM

Tune in to the Tisha B’Av Spirit: Dramatization with Soul-stirring Vocals LOCATION: Auschwitz, Lager Camp – Bunk 64 Date: 22 February 1943 Time: 9:23 PM

LOCATION: 385 Grand Street, East Side, NYC Date: February 22, 1943 Time: 6:00 PM

Krias Eichah:

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Leining of Megillas Eichah with explanation: An understanding of Eichah like NEVER BEFORE “Mama, where are we going?! “Vi Der Eibershter Vet Inz Firen —Where ever Hashem will lead us…” “But, Mama, why is Hashem leading us into the mud?!”

Finale: WHEN THE PONEVEZHER RAV WAS ASKED: Don’t you get disheartened that your world has been ruined??!! HE REPLIED: I have 2 choices — I can either go around breaking windows in my sorrow, or I can BUILD, & BUILD without stopping!

This Tisha B’av can be our last! Together we will build and build without stopping!


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CHANGE-p

Women Uniting. Bringing Change.

This Leil Tisha B’av

For a

Eichah Presentation

JULY 15, 2021

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Join tens of thousands of women worldwide

BROADCAST LIVE - MOTZIE SHABBOS/LEIL TISHA B’AV NY/NJ/MD 10:30PM LOS ANGELES 10:00PM ENGLAND 11:00PM ANTWERP 12:00AM ISRAEL 10:00PM AUSTRALIA 8:00PM

0330 777 2493 02 303 30 71 076 599 0005 03 9028 0272

ACCESS CODE

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(Playback available 1 hour after local start time) NY/NJ/MD 11:30PM LOS ANGELES 11:00PM ENGLAND 12:00AM ANTWERP 1:00AM ISRAEL 11:00PM AUSTRALIA 9:00PM

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For sponsorship opportunities, or to bring this presentation to your community,

Call 917-722-2700 CHANGE-point is under the directives of Vaad Mishmeres Hachaim of Eretz Yisroel which is endorsed by the B’datz Eida Chareidus, Harav Nissim Karelitz zt’l and Harav Vosner zt’l.

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Playback will be available throughout Tisha B’av.

917-900-1029


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CONTENTS COMMUNITY

JULY 15, 2021

Dear Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6 Around the Community . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8 Community Calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36

JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Zvi Teichman. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

PEOPLE 613 Seconds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

FEATURE Is the Churban the Source of All Suffering . . . . . . . 43 Seeing Hashem’s Guiding Hand. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT Centerfold. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 Notable Quotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

LIFESTYLES

NEW

World Builders. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Parenting Pearls. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 Common Cents. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 Forgotten Heroes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60 Dating Dialogue. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62 Mental Health Corner. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66 In The Kitchen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68 Your Money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

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NEWS Israel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 National. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 That’s Odd. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

Dear Readers, The cicadas have come and gone. Temperatures have hit well into the 90’s, and the humidity has come along for the ride. It’s official - summer in Baltimore is in full swing. But as observant Jews, we know that summer isn’t just fun and games. Every year, just as we’re settling into our summer routines, the month of Av comes around. Suddenly, all the “normal” summer activities that we’ve so come to enjoy - swimming, trips and barbecues - take a pause. What’s generally the most carefree, fun time of the year suddenly becomes silent and solemn. The difference is stark - as it should be. We’re not where we are supposed to be. We are in galus. That’s something we’re aware of, every year, but this year, that suddenly feels more real than ever before. With the rise in anti-semitism, it is clear that we do not belong. With tragedies that have befallen our nation, both in our land of Eretz Yisrael and in chutz la’aretz, so many of us are already in a state of mourning. It’s not an easy time to be a Jew. But as our Sages teach, “One who mourns her destruction will rejoice in her rebuilding.” As we mourn, let’s give ourselves hope. Hope that our mourning will not only lead to our redemption, but will be the cause of it. As we truly mourn the Churban, which has been the root cause of endless pain throughout the millenium, let’s look forward towards the light at the end of the tunnel, when we all join as one in our true home. This year, we go straight from the joy of Shabbos into the pain of Tisha B’av. Let us join together and feel the pain of one another. In that merit, may we be zoche to see the order reversed, as we go from the pain of Tisha B’av into the eternal joy of living with the rebuilding of the Bais Hamikdash. Lshana habaah b’Yerushalayim! Miriam

Send your news to BJH! Send us your: community events, articles & photos, and mazal tovs to editor@baltimorejewishhome.com to be featured in coming editions!

The Baltimore Jewish Home is an independent bi-weekly newspaper. All opinions expressed by the journalists, contributors and/or advertisers printed and/or quoted herein are solely their opinions and do not reflect the opinions of BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME, their parent company or affiliates, and may have been previously disseminated by them on television, radio, Internet or another medium. The Baltimore Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The BJH contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.


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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JULY 15, 2021

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M


THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JULY 15, 2021

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Dear Editor, While I appreciated your article about “Mommy Camp” this past issue, I was left with a little bit of a sour taste after reading it, because I think it lacks an acknowledgement about the reality in this day of age. I think more often than not, both parents are working, as opposed to maybe 20 years ago when just one parent was working out of the house, and the other was home. Many of us don’t have the choice to run a “Mommy Camp”, and in fact struggle every summer to find camps that offer a full day (i.e. starts before 10am, or goes past noon on Fridays), as well as finding a camp or childcare that spans the full summer and not leaving us with empty weeks between camp ending and school starting. I’m sure many parents can relate to this, and I just felt that this had to be mentioned. While “Mommy Camp” sounds great in theory, many do not even have the choice to put into practice. A working mom

Dear BJH Editor, I wanted to share my thoughts on Rabbi George Strum’s lecture that you featured in last issues’ 613 column. After reading about his lecture “G-d Gave Us the Torah: Do We Just Believe It To Be True, Or Do We Know It To Be True”, I was intrigued to look it up and listen for myself. I am so grateful that I did! Rabbi Strum began by clearly setting up the difference between believing and knowing something, and continued to describe how we, as frum Jews, have the knowledge to truly know that HaShem gave us the Torah. During this time of the three weeks, it’s important to remind ourselves how connected we are to Hakadosh Baruch Hu and His infinite wisdom. If anyone else was considering listening to the lecture, here’s your sign to go and do so - you will not regret it. Thank you, Rabbi Strum, for sharing this with us all! A.A.R.

Dear Editor, I am writing in response to the dating Dialogue (navidaters) in the June 17th issue. Chana asked the panel for advice about a problem that she is facing. Her question revolved around struggling with the dating system and not getting many dates because she does not come from a ‘perfect family’ since her parents are divorced. She asked: Why is the shidduch system leaving good women behind just because their parents are divorced? She is not asking for much, just for a solid guy who davens three times a day with a stable career who will support his wife and family. The panel answered her question using various approaches. As someone who experiences this issue firsthand, I can relate and attest to Chana’s struggle. This is something that needs to be addressed. As long as the shadchanim and the shidduch system do not acknowledge this as a real problem nothing will change. Single mother of single daughter

To submit letters to the editor, please email letters@baltimorejewishhome.com

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Around the Community

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JULY 15, 2021

Raise the Steaks for Jewish Learning

N

othing says summer like a juicy steak on the grill. That’s why Etz Chaim, a vibrant network of Jewish programs serving Baltimore-area adults of all ages, has planned Raise the Steaks: the perfect guys’ night out. On Thursday, July 22, Jewish men from all over the metro area will gather for a fundraising event featuring delicious kosher steaks, cold drinks, great company, and the chance to support Etz Chaim’s transformative programs. Now is the perfect time to support Etz Chaim. After a year of mostly virtual programs that sustained Baltimore’s Jewish community during the pandemic, the weather is heating up along with the organization’s diverse roster of Jewish educational offerings. A few exciting examples: A book club founded in January of this year is still going strong. Originally Zoom-only, it has since transitioned to a “hybrid” format. While many members are gathering in Baltimore living rooms and backyards, the book

club has been so successful that it attracted Jewish readers from Denver, who are still active via Zoom. Their latest read? God Winked by Sara Yocheved Rigler, a fascinating collection of spiritual tales and lessons. Another book club has launched as well, under the leadership of a J-Care Fellowship graduate. Each month, a group of young professionals gathers to discuss thought-provoking books that help them grow as individuals, as professionals, and as Jews. J-Care Fellows are gearing up for an in-depth study and volunteer trip to Israel this August. While most of the young adults on the trip are part of J-Care, the trip is open to all Jewish young professionals in the community. Shalom in the Home, a new program for young professional couples, is meeting every month over Zoom and drawing participants from all over the country. Couples learn from Jewish educators about building a warm, loving Jewish home rooted in tradition.

The popular “Wine and Wisdom” series recently got a fun twist with an in-person event featuring homemade mojitos and a discussion of Torah perspectives on anxiety—a pressing topic as we emerge from a stressful year. Once a week, Jewish adults from

Baltimore and beyond are beginning their days with “Morning Meddies,” a 20-minute online meditation and prayer class. Five adult learners who discovered the joys of Torah learning through Etz Chaim have decided to continue their Jewish journeys in Israel for in-depth, long-term study at yeshivas and seminaries. Raise the Steaks will support all of these programs and more. Dr. Elie Portnoy, Etz Chaim board member and Raise the Steaks host committee member, says: “Having attended a number of programs, I have seen the incredible impact that Etz Chaim has had on the broader Baltimore Jewish community. Raise the Steaks is an opportunity to participate in and support a truly unique organization in our city.” It’s not too late to purchase a ticket to Raise the Steaks, or to join our group of corporate sponsors. Register online at http://www.fidelipay.com/ raisethesteaks today!


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Around the Community

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JULY 15, 2021

Skulener Rebbe of Monsey Visits YKY/TI!

T

he talmidim of Yeshivas Kochav Yitzchok/Torah Institute of Baltimore received a special treat on Tuesday, 19 Tamuz/June 29: a visit from the Skulener Rebbe of Monsey! The Rebbe, who was in town for a family simcha, visited the Cheder with his new mechuten, Rav Yissochar Dov Eichenstein, rav of Baltimore’s Mercaz Torah U’tefilah. Anticipating the Rebbe’s arrival, a beautiful kab-

bolas panim was organized with children from preschool through 8th grade waiting to greet the rebbe. Joyous singing of of ”Ohr Zaruah la’Tzadik” were heard throughout the halls with smiling faces on children and adults alike. Although the Rebbe usually speaks publicly only in Yiddish, he felt it was important to connect directly with the

boys in a language they understand. His Divrei Bracha and Chizuk in English in the Cheder’s Beis Medresh to the hundreds of elementary and middle school talmidim were extremely inspiring. He praised the boys for learning during the summer and emphasized the incredible shmira that they are providing Klal Yisroel - both in gashmius and ruchnius.

The Rebbe also highlighted the chashivus of Toras Tinokes shel Beis Rabban in particular and how their Torah-learning has protected Klal Yisroel throughout the generations. Before leaving, the Rebbe took the time to personally give each talmid a warm shalom aleichem and personal bracha. The Rebbe stood with energy and enthusiasm for over 30 minutes as he greeted each child individually, imparting a palpable ahavas Yisroel. Chazal teach us that one way to become close to Hashem is by clinging to those who are close to Him. An opportunity to meet the Skulener Rebbe who radiates with such ahavas Hashem and ahavas Yisroel will certainly help bring a talmid closer to Hashem.

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nation needs an army for protection. A Torah army is different from any other army. It’s an army that follows the Torah laws of war. Soldiers of other nations are frightened of an enemy that has them outgunned and outnumbere d. Not our Torah army. Because we are the only nation that can say that Hashem, Who took us out of Egypt, is still with Hashem can defeat us! the largest armies as easily as He can defeat soldier. No matter how one many tanks, planes, and bombs the enemy Hashem can destroy has, them all as easily as if it were just one jeep. In the words of the Torah: “When you go out to war against your enemies, and you see horses and chariots, people (soldiers) many more than you, you shall them, for Hashem not fear your God is with you, Who brought you up the land of Egypt.” out of


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Around the Community

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JULY 15, 2021

Some Of The Action From The July 11th Games Of The 2021 JCSL By Shimz Cars Season

Engagements Baruch Cooper (Baltimore) to Miriam Fink (Olney) Moshe Jacob (Monsey) to Aliza Ifrah (Baltimore) Eli Lehmann (Lakewood) to Devorah Marks (Baltimore) Hillel Rosenberg (Baltimore) to Rachel Broodo (Texas) Yehuda Gornbein (Baltimore) to Maddy Weimer (Cleveland) Yosef Hettleman (Baltimore) to Shaindel Bider (Chicago) Tzvi Eli Caplan (Baltimore) to Nechama Weiner (Passaic) Liel Hayun (Silver Spring) to Reezha Teichman (Baltimore) Issac Mulayev to Elana Barron (Baltimore)

Want to see your simcha here? Email mazeltov@baltimorejewishhome.com or text 443-675-6507 to submit your simcha!


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ANTISEMITISM V I TA L D I S C U S S I O N S A B O U T T H E R I S E O F A N T I S E M I T I S M

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FACING THE FACE OF

JULY 15, 2021

Tisha B'Av

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Demonstrators at a rally claiming the Holocaust never occurred. Photo credit: USHMM


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Daf Yomi Siyum on Yuma one of the 13 daily Daf Yomi Shiurim. Shiurim take place throughout the day at 6500 Baythorne Rd. All are welcomed to join!

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JULY 15, 2021

O

ver 150 lomdim joined together as Mercaz Daf Yomi of Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah held a Siyum at Ateres Elka on Yuma. Mesymim learn the Daf in

Pikesville Plaza, Home to BJH Headquarters, Issued Emergency Evacuation Earlier This Week By: Baltimore Jewish Home Staff

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n Monday, July 14, the fire department issued an immediate evacuation of the Pikesville Plaza (otherwise known as the “Dougie’s Building”), located at 600 Reisterstown Road and home to the Baltimore Jewish Home headquarters. The evacuation was ordered following an inspection, during which the fire department identified a

number of safety concerns relating to structural issues of the building and work that was being done without confirmation of all the proper permits. All tenants were swiftly informed of the evacuation notice and were instructed to collect their belongings. After further consideration, tenants were allowed back into the building the following day (under supervision of the fire department) to continue retrieving items left behind. “Is this a prank?” was the first

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question many tenants had when the fire department began their rounds throughout the building to inform tenants that they must leave immediately. “No, I swear, this is for real,” was the response from one member of the fire department, “it’s bad to the point that we feel the building is going to collapse.” After the horrific collapse of a building in Surfside, Florida earlier this month, no one was looking to take any chances. Video footage showed office workers carrying computers, chairs, and personal belongings out of the building before it was too late. The issues stemmed from two concerns: the first regarding the structural integrity of the parking garage located below the building, and the second regarding unlicensed work that

was being done to replace the HVAC system. Engineers inspected the parking garage on Tuesday to investigate structural concerns. Tenants are awaiting the results of the inspection, which will determine whether reoccupation of the building is possible. Addressing concerns of failure of the general contractor to secure proper permits, building management has claimed that Baltimore County does not require permits for work in commercial buildings. However, the fact remains that additional work that was being completed in the building does, in fact, depend on proper permits and inspections. Until a conclusion is reached, the Baltimore Jewish Home staff will continue operating as normal from alternative locations.


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How do you know each other? Yoni: I know Yitzy and the entire Goldberg family from my days at Ner Yisroel. Our families go way back to when my father and the Goldbergs lived in Cherry Hill, New Jersey. A highlight of Yeshiva was when I would go to the Goldberg’s on Yeshiva Lane for Shabbos and Yom Tovim meals, (especially Mrs. Goldberg’s Amaretto cake). It is impressive that as young men, you are so committed to helping the

community-what can you attribute this to? Yitzy: As you can see, Yoni and I are a perfect fit as chesed partners. We literary grew up together at my parent’s Shabbos table and even spent Pesach’s together at the Shavrick’s Pesach programs. Our parents-both the Herman’s and mine- taught us to do chesed by example. We both had excellent teachers and Rebbaim at Talmudical Academy and Ner Yisroel that ingrained in us a strong sense of community. We are proud to be perpetuating this legacy. Please tell us about Baltimore Bikur Cholim and your current involvement Yoni and Yitzy: Baltimore Bikur Cholim is an integral part of the community here in Baltimore and impacts people from the entire world. Patients come to Baltimore’s world-famous hospitals from around the globe: South America, Europe, Canada, and Israel. Bikur Cholim welcomes these frightened families with a beautiful, comfortable place to stay, transportation, visitation,

Kosher meals, and medical advice. And this is only one of the myriad services that Bikur Cholim offers. Within our own community, Baltimore Bikur Cholim supplies free medical equipment, Kosher meals to the hospital and home, patient advocacy, Shabbos and Yom Tov rides, rides to medical appointments, patient visitation, and 6 Kosher Hospitality Rooms in our major local hospitals, including Johns Hopkins and University of Maryland Medical Center. In addition, since the advent of COVID-19, the last 15 months have been a difficult time for everyone. Bikur Cholim stepped up to the plate arranging for communication and food for patients alone in the hospitals without any visitation allowed from their families. Distributed and coordinated salvia COVID testing from June - September to assist people in getting quick responses. Assisted quarantine families and families with COVID with food shopping and other errands. Distributed toys to children whose families were in quarantine or sick with COVID. Helped more than 900 people (mostly the elderly who could not navigate the system) get vaccination appointments from January 2021 to March 2021 at various clinics. And finally, we are so proud of our community-based VACCINATION CLINIC at Ner Tamid, which has given out more than 5,000 shots to date! This is amazing! How can our readers help support this vital organization

in town that helps so many? Yoni and Yitzy: This year we will be having the first-ever MATCHING CAMPAIGN where every dollar will be matched 4 times!! AUGUST 1, 2021- AUGUST 3, 2021IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THE MEN’S BALTIMORE BIKUR CHOLIM/SINAI LIFEBRIDGE BIKE-ATHON24 HOUR MATCHING CAMPAIGN-ALL DONATIONS MATCHED 4 TIMES! 4EVERY1 BIKURCHOLIM.LIVE You can help in three ways: You can sign up now to be an ambassador at signup.bikurcholim.live You can give generously at BikurCholim.Live You can spread the word with family and friends and on social media We are proud to be part of such an exciting program and even prouder to be part of Baltimore Bikur Cholim. With over 500 community volunteers, serving our community for over 40 years, we are honored to be part of this “mission of kindness.” Please join us, either as an ambassador or a generous donor- every dollar counts-every person counts- be part of something big-be part of something important! Thank you for taking the time to interview us and share our message with the community. Thank you, Yoni and Yitzy, for taking on this special event, and we wish you tremendous success.

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Tell us about yourself Yoni: I was born and raised in Baltimore. My wife and I have 4 children, k’ah, and I am a partner at NaimanMay, P.A. an accounting firm. I am an active member of Rabbi Teichman’s Ohel Moshe Congregation where I serve as treasurer. Yitzy: I was born and raised in Baltimore. My wife and I have 4 children, k’ah, and I am a partner at Ashley Custom Homes. I am an active member of Rabbi Eichenstein’s shul, Merchaz Torah U Tefilah.

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The Week In News

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Anwar Sadat’s Widow Dies

PLAN. TEST.

Jehan Sadat, widow of former Egyptian President Anwar Sadat, who made history as the first Arab leader to make peace with the State of Israel, died on Friday in Egypt. She was 87. In recent weeks, local media had reported that Jehan Sadat was hospitalized and battling cancer. In 2020, Sadat received medical treatment in the U.S., but her condition deteriorated shortly after arriving home to Egypt.

Jehan told CNN, “I am very optimistic that what my husband did, what he gave his life for will never, ever go in vain. I believe, though I’m not young, that I will see peace prevailing in the Middle East between the Arabs and the Israelis, and I am a very realistic woman. I am not living in fantasy or illusion.” She added, “It was unforgettable to see the Israeli delegation and the Egyptian delegation and the American delegation and instead of enemies they were friends, talking and chatting. It was something that I would never ever forget. My tears were coming down, I could hardly control them, because I was so happy to see that we are all like one family.” Sadat is the author of two books, “A Woman of Egypt,” her autobiography, and “My Hope for Peace.”

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On Friday, Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sissi’s office mourned Sadat as a role model for Egyptian women and announced that a highway would be named after her. Israeli President Isaac Herzog said in a Friday statement that Jehan “joined her husband during his historic visit in Jerusalem and courageously stood by President Sadat’s side during his relentless work for peace with the State of Israel. “She continued to promote the cause of peace for many more years. On behalf of the State of Israel, I would like to express my deepest condolences to the President of Egypt and the Egyptian people.” Israeli Defense Minister Benny Gantz (Blue and White) tweeted: “I would like to offer my condolences to the people of Egypt over the loss of Jehan Sadat, wife of the late President, visionary and champion of peace, Anwar Sadat. “It was Sadat who paved the way for peace between Israel and Egypt, and we are committed to deepening this partnership.” In 2009, 30 years after the Egypt-Israel peace treaty was signed,

Former Mossad chief Yossi Cohen, 59, who retired last month from his position, will be appointed director of Israel operations for SoftBank. The SoftBank group is a leading holding firm under Japanese billionaire Masayoshi Son and focuses primarily on investing in companies in the technology, financial, and energy sectors. Speaking to Globes, Cohen said, “SoftBank has pioneered a new approach to technology investing and created the world’s largest ecosystem of emerging technology champions. Israel’s advanced technology and entrepreneurial culture make it a natural fit for SoftBank’s investment vision and I look forward to helping fast-moving companies scale in the region and globally.” Yanni Pipilis, SoftBank Vision Fund managing partner, said, “When we met Mr. Cohen, we immediately got excited about the opportunity to work together. He is very well-con-


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The U.S. State Department will prioritize pushing Israel to cease demolishing the homes of Muslim Arab terrorists who murder Jews, the Times of Israel quoted a spokesperson as saying on Thursday. “We attach a good deal of priority to this, knowing that the home of an entire family shouldn’t be demolished for the action of one individual,” State Department spokesman Ned Price said, noting that the U.S. will continue to voice its opposition “as long as this practice continues.” Price added, “There is a critical need to lower the temperature in the West Bank. Punitive demolitions exacerbate tensions at a time when everyone should be focused on principally ensuring calm.” According to Price, U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken and other senior U.S. State Department officials raised the issue with their Israeli counterparts prior to the demolition of the home of Muntasser Shalabi, the terrorist who murdered 19-yearold Yehuda Guetta in a drive-by shooting in May. Earlier on Thursday, a spokesperson for the U.S. Embassy said, “We

are following reports that the home was demolished. We believe it is critical for all parties to refrain from unilateral steps that exacerbate tensions and undercut efforts to advance a negotiated two-state solution. This certainly includes the punitive demolition of Palestinian homes. “As we stated numerous times, the home of an entire family should not be demolished for the actions of one individual.”

Funds Frozen to PA for Terror Payments

Israel’s Security Cabinet on Sunday voted to deduct 597 million NIS ($181,917,906) from the taxes and tariffs transferred to the Palestinian Authority (PA). According to a report by the Defense Ministry’s National Bureau for Counter-Terror Financing, the Palestinian Authority paid 597 million shekel to terrorists and their families throughout 2020. “In light of this report, these funds will be frozen from the monthly payments that Israel transfers to the PA,” Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett’s office said in a statement. Under the “Pay to Slay” law, Israel may begin deducting 1/12 of the sum on a monthly basis. Responding to Israel’s decision, Qadri Abu Bakr, the head of the Palestinian Authority’s Prisoners Affairs Commission, said the deduction would only increase the PA’s determination to support the “fighters” who sacrificed their lives in defending their homeland from “a despicable enemy who practices all forms of terror against us and against our homeland.” He also blasted the deduction as “racist behavior,” claiming it is “a policy of robbery of some of the state’s funds estimated at millions of shekels.”


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Israeli Captives On Our Minds

Israeli Foreign Minister Yair Lapid (Yesh Atid) on Sunday evening met with Egyptian Foreign Minister Sameh Shoukry in Brussels, Belgium, on the sidelines of the European Union’s Foreign Affairs Council meeting. During the meeting, which lasted an hour, the two ministers discussed the relationship between Israel and the Palestinian Authority, as well as the attempts to find a way to rehabilitate Gaza. The two also spoke about cooperation between the two countries on the issue of counterterrorism. During their discussion, Lapid raised the issue of the four Israelis held in Gaza by the Hamas terror group. Two IDF soldiers, Hadar Goldin and Oron Shaul, were killed and their bodies were taken during 2014’s Operation Protective Edge. Two mentally unwell Israeli civilians, Avera Mengistu, an Ethiopian Israeli, and Hisham al-Sayed, a Bedouin Arab Israeli, are also believed to be alive and captive in Gaza.

Bedouin Charged with Spying for Iran

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A Bedouin Arab Israeli businessman recently handed information on Israel over to Iranian intelligence officials, Israeli security authorities said on Monday afternoon. The suspect, identified as Yaqoob Abo Alkea from the town of Hura in southern Israel, was arrested on June 10 on suspicion that he had illegally transferred information to Iran, Arutz

Sheva reported. According to Israeli security officials, Abo Alkean sent the information through a Lebanese-Iraqi proxy. Abo Alkean was in contact with Khaider al-Mashhadani, an agent for Iran’s intelligence gathering efforts, investigators discovered. During the time the two were in contact, Abo Alkean is believed to have kept Iran up-to-date on recent events in Israel. The two are also reported to have been involved in joint business ventures. Initially, Abo Alkean was not aware that al-Mashhadani was working on behalf of Iranian intelligence. However, he continued to work with al-Mashhadani even after he realized who he was working for, and sought a meeting with al-Mashhadani’s handlers. That meeting never came to fruition. Abo Alkean was also noted as having run for the Knesset as part of former Defense Minister Moshe Ya’alon’s “Telem” party and having close ties to several prominent figures in Israel. Following the investigation, Southern District prosecutors in the Be’er Sheva District Court on Monday filed espionage charges against Abo Alkean. According to Arutz Sheva, in May, Abo Alkean called for the use of violence to defend Al Aqsa Mosque, saying in a now-deleted Facebook video: “The Al-Aqsa Mosque is a red line, and we will cut off any hand that is raised against it. “The hudna (cease-fire) is only temporary and conditional, and we are raising our head in this city and saying to everyone: you must always protect our holy places and our mosque.” Abo Alkean concluded his fiery speech, which was discovered by Ad Kan and translated by the Arab Desk of the Zionist watchdog group Im Tirtzu, by chanting, “With spirit and blood we will redeem Al-Aqsa.”

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The Week In News their pets in Tel Aviv, authorities will track them down. Now, dog owners in Tel Aviv are required to provide DNA samples for their pet when they renew their dog ownership licenses or receive a new dog. When authorities find dog excrement on the streets, they will sample the waste and track down the dog’s owner to fine them for not picking up after their dog. On Monday night, the Tel Aviv-Jaffa City Council approved an amendment to the Municipal bylaw, making it compulsory for dog owners to register their pets to a DNA database. According to the bylaw, dog owners will also be charged for the sampling and testing expenses. The law has been submitted to the Interior Ministry for examination, and is awaiting approval. The municipality calculated that an estimated 500 kilos of dog feces are not picked up from the street every month, and hope that this new law will work to decrease the amount. “The municipality, for its part, has worked hard to eradicate the issue of collecting feces, by distributing tickets to dog owners, placing bag collection facilities in gardens and parks, and establishing dozens of dog parks throughout the city – but this does not diminish dog owners’ responsibility to keep the public space clean,” a municipality representative declared. The ratio of humans to dogs in Tel Aviv-Yafo is one of the highest in the world, with one in every 11 people in the area owning a dog.

The Big Cheese

quire that the designation be included in the Wisconsin Blue Book. The bill was originally proposed in 2019 but failed to advance to the full Assembly and Senate; a similar 1997 bill did pass the Assembly, but was not voted on by the Senate. Colby cheese was first developed in Colby, Wisconsin, in 1885. According to a historical state marker, Joseph Steinwand named the cheese after the township where his father had built northern Clark County’s first cheese factory three years prior. Residents of Colby expressed support for the bill, and the bill’s lead authors, Rep. Donna Rozar and Sen. Kathy Bernier, both of whom represent Colby, said the proposal is a celebration of the state’s dairy heritage and of rural history. Some lawmakers have expressed concerns that the designation could detract from other types of cheeses produced in the state. Rep. Rick Gundrum said, “I just have an issue making one cheese the state cheese. We have a wide variety of stores and shops in my district that have a wide selection of Wisconsin cheese varieties that they sell. Cheese is very popular in Wisconsin, along with beer and sausage. I can’t get behind it one hundred percent.” Rozar asserted, “It was important to recognize a local municipality, where something very small kind of launched Wisconsin on the dairy state path. I believe that Colby cheese, because of its history, has a very deserving place in our Blue Book.” If the Assembly Committee approves the bill, it will need to pass through the Senate committee prior to being voted on by the full Assembly and Senate. After it passes the Senate, it would need the signature of Governor Tony Evers before becoming law.

Ammunition Bust Near MLB All-Star Game A bill to name Colby the official Wisconsin state cheese on Wednesday received a hearing in the Assembly Committee on Local Government. The bill, introduced by a bipartisan group of state lawmakers, would re-

One of the suspects arrested in connection with an ammunition bust near the site of this week’s major league baseball All-Star Game has a history of both weapons and drug charges. According to Newsweek, Richard Platt has faced charges in three differ-


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A Shidduch in Amukah

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My life was one big roller coaster – one with stomach-lurching twists and turns. One moment, I was whipping the winds at the top, and the next, I was dropped all the way down to the bottom. I chugged back up the chute, only to plummet yet again… I was already twenty-seven years of age and still, I was on the elusive search for my partner in life. So many times I thought, “Oh! This is the one!” but then, once again, everything would crumble in front of my eyes. I fretted. Why can’t I find my bashert?

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The Week In News ent counties over the last eleven years. Over the years, he has pleaded guilty to multiple charges, including theft, drugs, weapons, drug possession, child abuse related to negligence with no injury, and felony menacing. He is still facing drugs and weapons charges from a case last year. Platt was arrested in Denver on Friday night, along with two other men and one woman, at the Maven Hotel. A housekeeper had tipped off the police after finding over a dozen weapons and more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition in their room. Police feared the number of weapons, ammunition, and the eighth-floor vantage point a block from the field could have resulted in a mass shooting at the All-Star Game. On Sunday, Platt appeared in court. A Denver magistrate judge set his bond at $50,000 in cash. The other suspects, Gabriel Rodriguez, Ricardo Rodriguez and Kanoelehua Serikawa, were ordered to be in court on Monday. Platt was charged with one count of possession of a weapon by a previous offender, as well as two counts of possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute. In a Sunday statement, the Federal Bureau of Investigations assured, “We have no reason to believe this incident was connected to terrorism or a threat directed at the All-Star Game. We are not aware of any threat to the All-Star Game events, venues, players, or the community at this time.” At a press conference on Sunday, Denver Police Chief Paul Pazen said, “That’s what the investigation is all about. We need to identify exactly, to the extent possible, why individuals were here in the first place, why in proximity to downtown. We don’t have those answers.”

Wildlife-Only Freeway Overpass California recently approved a budget measure allowing for the construction of animal crossings on freeways around the state. According to CalMatters, the new budget will fund the Liberty Canyon Wildlife Crossing – an overpass traversing the ten-lane 101 Freeway in the Santa Monica Mountains near

Agoura Hills. A sum of $7 million will be provided for the project, with an additional $54.5 million earmarked for constructing wildlife passages across the state.

“Seven thousand vehicle crashes a year on California highways involve large wildlife,” CalMatters noted, adding that the true number is likely higher. In addition to reducing the number of highway accidents involving wildlife, the crossings are also expected to reunite habitats divided by freeways. Scientists believe the Liberty Canyon overpass will especially benefit the mountain lion populations in the region. Mountain lions in the Santa Ana and Santa Monica Mountains face a 99% chance of extinction within the next 50 years. The Los Angeles Times noted that at 200 feet in length and 165 feet in width, Liberty Canyon is expected to become “the largest of its kind in the world” when it is completed.

Gypsy Gibberish

A moth and ant recently got a name change because scientists thought that their names would make people feel uncomfortable. Gypsy moths and gypsy ants will no longer be called by those names. “If people are feeling excluded because of what we call something, that’s not acceptable,” Michelle Smith, president of Entomological Society of America, said. “We’re going to make changes to be a welcoming and inclusive society for all entomologists.”


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The Week In News Gypsy moth caterpillars strip leaves from trees and destroy trees as they swarm around them. Apparently calling these insects “gypsies” triggered some people and made them feel bad. “It’s hideous and superracist and it’s hurtful,” Ethel Brooks, a Romani scholar, said about the name. The move by the entomological group is the first time it has removed a common name from an insect on the grounds that it is offensive to a community of people, according to representatives from the society. For now, if you see a hairy caterpillar feasting on trees in your yard, hold yourself back from calling it a gypsy moth caterpillar. Instead, kindly call it by its formal moniker: Lymantria dispar.

struction. The 33-year-old made the puzzling discovery when he began fixing his steps. He noticed one ball behind the cinder blocks.

Bowling Ball Bonanza

“That was one of the bowling balls. I didn’t think a whole lot of it. I was kind of assuming maybe there were just a couple in there just to fill in. The deeper I got into it, the more I realized it was just basically an entire gridwork of them making up the weight in

David Olson was bowled over when he found 160 bowling balls beneath his back steps while doing con-

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there,” Olson said. Initially, Olson thought he uncovered a few balls. Then he thought he found around 50 of them. Finally, he counted them all and discovered that there were at least 160 bowling balls beneath his home. Olson didn’t see the discovery as a curveball to his project. “I was actually a little happy about that because it’s a little easier to roll bowling balls out of the way than to move the sand and figure out where to put all that,” he said. Now, the mystery as to how these bowling balls came to Olson’s home is yet to be solved. Olson noted that there used to be a Brunswick bowling ball plant in Muskegon, Michigan. Some former Brunswick employees contacted him through his Facebook post and said workers used to take scrapped bowling balls to use as a cheaper alternative to gravel or sand. Olson is going to put them to good use. For now, he plans on using the balls as edging for his landscaping or to make sculptures. He also donated eight balls for a nearby church to use in a bowling ball cannon at a pig roast. He will also be giving some to his stepfather, who plans to use them as custom furniture legs. Sounds like he has enough to spare.

open. He slammed through the roof of a home and into the kitchen on his way back down to earth.

A Parachuter in the Kitchen

Deepest in Dubai

Breakfast became a lot more interesting than just cereal and milk when a parachutist crashed into a home on Tuesday. The man in California was not harmed when his parachute failed to

“[He] came through the roof, through the trusses,” Linda Sallady, the homeowner’s mother, said. “There’s not that much damage in the house; it’s amazing. It’s mostly the ceiling, the sheetrock. He missed the counters, appliances, everything.” Police said that the man was part of a group training at Camp Roberts, a California National Guard post, and that his parachute failed to fully deploy. “It’s a miracle, in my estimation,” Rose Martin, a nurse who lives next door, said. “Really. I mean, who lands like that without a parachute and lives?”

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wetsuit or a swimsuit. It is housed inside a1,500-squaremeter oyster-shaped structure, a nod to the United Arab Emirates’ history as a pearl diving nation. But the biggest star of Deep Dive Dubai is arguably the pool’s underwater city. Divers can explore “abandoned” sunken city apartments and play underwater pool in the arcade. State-of-the-art lighting and sound systems have been fitted inside the pool to create different atmospheres. “There are quite a few dive pools in the world that are deep, but this one is so much more interesting,” Deep Dive Dubai director Jarrod Jablonski said. “It’s not only deepest and largest, but the sunken city effect makes it next world order. “There are so many things it’s really not fair to call it a pool.” Those plummeting into the depths need to be careful when they emerge onto terra firma. A notice on the website implores visitors not to visit the famed Burj Khalifa after a dive. “Don’t visit the top of the skyscraper after diving,” it says. “After any dive, it’s recommended

to wait 18-24 hours before ascending higher than 300 meters (1,000 feet). However, there is no risk in diving after having visited the tallest building in the world.” I was worried.

Froufrou French Fry

If plain-old fries won’t do, then it’s time to head to Manhattan. Serendipity 3, a non-kosher upscale eatery on the Upper East Side, is now offering the world’s most expensive French fries. The price? A whopping $200. The dish, titled Creme de la Creme Pommes Frites, features ingredients

including Chipperbeck potatoes, Dom Perignon Champagne, J. LeBlanc French Champagne Ardenne Vinegar, cage-free goose fat from France, Guerande Truffle Salt, truffle oil, Crete Senesi Pecorino Tartufello cheese, shaved black summer truffles from Italy, truffle butter, organic A2 A2 100% grass fed cream from Jersey Cows, and Gruyere Truffled Swiss Raclette. The concoction is topped with 23-karat edible gold dust. A Guinness World Records adjudicator presented eatery officials with an official certificate in a ceremony on Monday. The restaurant, which reopened last Friday after a lengthy closing due to the pandemic, said the $200 menu item is available by reservation. This is not the first over-the-top distinction for the restaurant. It was previously lauded for producing the world’s largest wedding cake and the world’s most expensive ice cream sundae, which costs $1,000. And we won’t talk about the calories.

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The crown prince of Dubai Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, a keen diver, was one of the first visitors and shared his experience on social media. Want to join? For now, it’s open by invitation only. In a few months, it will to the public. Swimmers enjoy a water temperature of 86 degrees Fahrenheit, a comfortable temperature for wearing a thin

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Dive Dubai attraction – has nabbed the record from Poland’s Deepspot, which has a depth of over 147 feet. The Deep Dive Dubai pool is filled with 14 million liters of fresh water – the volume of six Olympic-sized swimming pools – and is at least four times bigger than any other diving pool in the world. Guinness awarded it the “Deepest swimming pool for diving“ title on June 27.

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Torah Thought

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Who Am I? By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

)‫ — אם לא עכשיו אימתי (אבות א יד‬If not now when? This famous adage of Hillel found its earliest expression during the episode of the Ma’apilim, the defiant ones, who after waking up from the spies induced spiritual stupor, realizing the consequences of their crying for naught, were now determined to go up to the place G-d had promised, but were told in no uncertain terms that they missed the opportunity of a lifetime. It was simply too late; they would not succeed. Not heeding the warning, they ascended defiantly and were summarily struck, beaten, and

defeated. Despite avowing their regret and admission of guilt, Moshe warns them not to go up for G-d has told him explicitly — ‫אינני בקרבכם‬, I am not among you. Why? Didn’t they admit to having ‘sinned to Hashem’? There is no negation of their contrition, simply a statement: ‫אינני — אין אני‬, I am not, ‫בקרבכם‬, among you. But why? Hillel prefaces his directive to grab opportunities when they come by two other pieces of advice. ‫אם אין אני לי מי לי‬, If I do not do for

myself, who will do it for me? ‫וכשאני לעצמי מה אני‬, And if I care only for myself, what am I? These two related ideas, to take initiative and not rely on others, and to not act only out of self-interest — do not count on others but always consider others, is seemingly totally unrelated to the idea of not missing out on opportunities that may come one’s way. These three principles are extremely basic ones for success in life. They are self-evident to anyone who has experienced life. Do we really need someone as great as Hillel the Elder to teach us these elementary ideas? The Holy Baal Shem Tov has a marvelous twist in understanding this first notion of Hillel. ‫ אם אין‬- If there is no, '‫ 'אני‬/ ego — sense of arrogant self-importance, ‫לי‬/ to me — tainting my actions, ‫מי‬ ‫ לי‬/ who can compare to me — in my ability to promote the will of G-d in the universe. ‫ וכשאני‬- And when that sense of ‘I’, ‫ — לעצמי‬is self-serving, ‫— מה אני‬

what value is there to that sense of ‘I’? When we pare away our selfish interests, we can soar on high like no other living entity. Alternatively, we might suggest, that having an altruistic self-identity — a sense of mission and purpose, a mindfulness of who ‘I’ am, is equally critical to succeed in life. ‫ אם אין‬- If there is no, ‫ — אני‬sense of personal worth, ‫ — מי לי‬what can motivate me to purposeful ambition? ‫ — וכשאני לעצמי‬and when that realization of my unique role in the world defines me, ‫ — מה אני‬how awesome is that sense of ‘I’! Truth is that often we procrastinate either because our personal needs and comforts take precedence over responsibility, or because we fear failure, lacking faith in ourselves that we can succeed. Hillel revealed the secret to success: do not let fleeting pleasure or purposeless objectives impede your duties from realizing how vital you are in G-d’s eyes. When we remove the egoistic ‘I’ and define the noble

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Torah Thought ‘I’, nothing will deter us from pursuing our goals and believing in ourselves. The most exquisite expression of pure and unadulterated joy one experienced, when the Temple stood, was during the holiday of Sukkos when they celebrated the Simchas Bais Hashoevah, commemorating the drawing of the water ceremony performed then. Hillel would dance in ecstasy and exult ‫ — אם אני כאן הכל כאן‬If I am here everything is here! Rashi explains that ‫ אני‬is a Name of G-d. Hillel was emphasizing that if G-d is ‘present’ then that is ‘everything’! Reb Nachman quotes the Zohar who states that the word ‫ אני‬is the acronym for the sentiment, ‫אנא נפשי‬ ‫יהבית‬, ‘I’ have infused man with ‘My’ essence.)‫(סוכה נג‬ When man removes the external layers of ‘self’ and discovers his essence, defining one’s mission solely in the context of G-d’s will, man becomes a virtual receptacle for the Divine Presence itself. That is what re-

veals his true ‘I’. Hillel then concludes with what is the natural result of one who views life from that clear perception: If not now when, because every moment is instilled with G-d’s presence beckoning us to represent Him in our every act and deed. Bernie Rader, a Lubavitcher chosid from London, traveled to Detroit on business regularly. On one occasion he met a local baker who was a guest at his host’s home. The baker peppered him with many questions about the mitzva of Tefillin. Observing his interest and being a true soldier of the Rebbe he encouraged the baker to put on Tefillin. The baker said he would be happy to, but as he works through the night into the afternoon, he would have to meet him at the bakery between shifts at dawn. Sure enough, Bernie arrives and sees that this man had clearly worn Tefillin before in his lifetime as he is familiar with the blessings and the intricacies of wrapping the straps. Bernie then of-

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fers to provide him his own pair of Tefillin the next time he visits Detroit on business in six weeks’ time. The baker is grateful saying he looks forward to that time. Bernie travels to New York that day stopping at Lubavitch headquarters the next morning, Thursday, to bask in his Rebbe’s presence, reporting to him of his providential encounter with the baker and sharing his eagerness to return to his family in London in time for Shabbos. The Rebbe is visibly pleased with his initiative but then astonishes Bernie with the following instructions. Firstly, he tells Bernie that he must assure the baker receives a pair of Tefillin that very day, even if it means he must fly back to Detroit to deliver it. He admonishes Bernie about his plan to wait six weeks before providing the Tefillin. What impression will this make upon the baker about the importance of his role in performing this mitzvah daily, the Rebbe wonders aloud. If he is to fathom his unique role before G-d, that message can only be conveyed by the immediacy of its performance. As to the personal disappointment of possibly then missing out on Shabbos with his family if he is to travel back to Detroit, the Rebbe sympathetically asserts, priorities are priorities, we are here on this earth with a mission. Bernie succeeded in securing the Tefillin getting them to the baker yet that day through a third party who assisted him once again with the donning of them. Six weeks later Bernie and the baker meet up. The baker proudly reports how he wears them daily and even once had to ditch his car on the side of the road one day in standstill traffic, so he could walk home in time to put them on before sunset! (Rebbe Telushkin p.145) When G-d responds to the Ma’apilim, ‫אינני בקרבך‬, I am not in your midst, it was not an assertion of His reticence, but an explanation of why the time was not ripe. ‫ אין‬- ‫אינני‬ '‫'אני‬, the sense of a true ‘I’, identity totally aligned with that of the ‫אני‬, the essence of G-d, was not yet fully developed, it was not ‫בקרבך‬, fused with them as one. It would necessitate forty

years in the laboratory of the desert to inculcate into their psyche. The Alter Rebbe, Rav Shneur Zalman of Liadi, once knocked on the door of his beloved Rebbe, the Maggid of Mezritch. When the Maggid inquired who was there, he responded, “I”. After he entered the Maggid scolded him for expressing ‫ — אני‬I, for it is tinged with ego, he should have responded simply, “Shneur Zalman”. After leaving his Rebbe, the Alter Rebbe found himself amidst a crowd where someone had been robbed and they falsely accused him of the crime. The police were summoned and grabbed the Rebbe, as he loudly and repeatedly protested, ‫לא אני‬, “It is not I, it is not I, it is not I...” until they finally released him. When sometime later he returned to the Maggid and reported this event, the Maggid lovingly told him, “You see, for one inappropriate uttering of the word “I”, you had to undo it by screaming “not I”, ten times!” The Alter Rebbe’s remarkable seventh generation descendant, absorbed the message, knowing the secret to living inspired every minute of our lives: remove the ‘I’ and discover your true greatness. Bernie had to put aside his self-interest in devoting himself to his mission. The baker had to appreciate how important and valued he was before G-d. We will soon read )‫על אלה (איכה א טז‬ — Over these things, ‫ — אני בוכיה‬I weep. We cry because we so yearn to sense our identity, our true connection, to ‫אני‬, Hashem. We are living through difficult times, where we have discovered how powerless we are, how life and its successes are solely in the hands of the Almighty, how in one moment life as we know it can disappear. For those willing to see, any distorted notion of the egotistical ‘I’ has been quashed. May we find ourselves soon, may we be embraced by His Presence, may we dance with joy, singing mightily, ‫ — אם אני כאן הכל כאן‬If I am here everything is here! You may reach the author at: Ravzt@ohelmoshebaltimore.com


35

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

38

World

I Became an EMT to Help My Daughter; Last Night I Saved Someone Else’s

JULY 15, 2021 THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

Builders

By Raphael Poch

M

y name is Chagit Biton, I live in Kiryat Malachi, and I make wigs for a living. Thank G-d, I have 8 children. Five years ago, my daughter Shaina was born with a severe case of epilepsy. Aside from when she is studying in a special educational facility, I have to be by her side around the clock. A few years ago, her episodes were so intense and so frequent that I decided I needed to train to become an EMT so that I could know how to treat her. I took a training course with United Hatzalah and have since been volunteering as a first responder with the organization. Those who know me realize that I can only respond to emergencies when my daughter is in school and being cared for. Once she comes home, I can’t do any work no matter how much money I may be losing by missing a customer, nor can I go out to respond to emergencies. Thus, I am not as active as many other volunteers in my chapter. The other side effect of needing to provide constant care for my daughter is that I am not free to take vacations or go places with my other children, as much as they want me to. This pains me a lot. However, this past Wednesday, my other children all gathered together to drag me and Shaina out of the house on a family trip to Ashdod. To transport the whole family in our car, as well as the wheelchair for Shaina and all of the other items she needs, is not a simple task and it took some doing and a lot of help from the other children. But in spite

of the exhaustion that I face every day and the work it took to pack everything and everyone up into the car, the children persuaded me and my husband, and we went. We took two cars, as we normally do whenever we take the entire family out, and we traveled down to Ashdod. As soon as we turned onto Highway 4, I saw a car accident that had just taken place involving three vehicles. Two of the drivers, both men, began to get out of their cars. Their faces were bloodied due to having sustained injuries, but they were able to walk. The third driver didn’t exit the vehicle. I immediately pulled over to the side of the road, updated dispatch to what I saw, put on my vest and gloves, and got out to help the injured drivers and passengers. I per-

formed a quick triage assessment of who needed care first and found that in the third vehicle was a new mother with a baby who was just a few days old. I ran to her and began to check her first. She was badly injured and was barely able to hold her own baby daughter. I took the baby and gave her to one of my sons and told him to wrap her up and keep her warm. In the car were the mother, the father, and an uncle of the baby, all of whom were in their 20s. They all sustained moderate to severe injuries and needed to go to the hospital for treatment. I bandaged their wounds. As other first responders began to arrive, they treated the other drivers and took over treating this family as well. I returned to the baby and held her. I went up to the

new mother and reassured her that the baby would be okay with me and that I would wait here until the baby’s grandparents could arrive to take her. Here I was, on the side of a highway, with my own daughter and children in the car behind me, holding a complete stranger’s daughter. The woman had no choice but to entrust me with her new baby daughter’s care. I reassured her that in addition to being an EMT I am also a caring mother, and I showed her my own family, including Shaina, to put her at ease. She was taken to the hospital and I waited for the grandfather. When he came, I transferred the car seat into his car and placed the baby girl gingerly inside it. I take this as a sign from heaven. It wasn’t by chance that my children managed to drag me out of the house on this night specifically. I was supposed to be there. I was at the scene within seconds of the accident occurring. My treatment likely prevented further trauma to the injured, and I was able to care for this family and reassure the woman that her daughter would be okay. I felt uplifted to know that I was able to help and that I still had the confidence to do so, no matter what medical emergency came my way, even after not having been as active as many other volunteers. I began learning to be an EMT to help my own daughter, and on Wednesday evening, I used what I learned to help someone else’s. This was truly G-d’s hand guiding me, and I am thankful even more so for that.


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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

40

Parenting Pearls

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JULY 15, 2021

Dealing with Communal Tragedy By Sara Rayvych, MSEd

A

fter the Lag B’Omer issue of TJH came out, my kids asked me why I wrote about milestones that week and not about the Meron tragedy. Initially, I had thought to write about the tragedy but in the end I didn’t. Honestly, I assumed nobody would wonder why I chose a different topic. I was certainly surprised when it was my children who asked, since they rarely read my articles. I explained to them that since so many other professionals had written about the topic already there wasn’t much for me to add. Additionally, I had already written an article about helping children through tragedies; I had said my piece on the matter. I was OK with that answer until we were into the second week of the Surfside tragedy. I realized that we, and our children, are dealing with in-depth awareness of the third tragedy that affected Klal Yisroel in a brief time period. We had the tragedy in Meron followed soon after by the bleachers falling in Karlin. Now, we had the condo crashing in Surfside. As this next tragedy still dominates the news, I felt that perhaps an article was still warranted. Even more frightening for our children, the third tragedy is even closer in proximity to our community and a place they may have recently visited. I still feel the other professionals who already spoke on the matter don’t need this extra article; we are fortunate to have talented mental health professionals who are so incredibly devoted to our community. This article is not in any way to replace their advice. I simply feel our community has been through so much that I’d like to humbly contribute in whatever way I can. Think of this more as gentle reminders to accompany what others have said.

It Starts with You As the parent and adult in their life, it all revolves around you. Children take their attitude from you and use you as their emotional compass. This is important to remember at all times but especially during challenges. Your children will look to you to see how they should respond. Take the time to first sort out your own emotions. This can be painful for you, and you will usually benefit from accepting that rather than fighting it. You may find it helpful to confide in someone you trust or seek professional assistance. It’s important that you do whatever you need to do before you can consider helping your own children. It’s unrealistic to think you can ignore your mental health but still help your children. Only once you’re strong, can you guide your children and be the leader they need. It’s normal for you to feel turmoil but watch how you present yourself in front of your children. As you go through the process of coping with your own emotions, you should be mindful that your children are watching. Allow yourself the privacy

emotional needs, and stick to your decision. Similarly for your children, limit what they’re exposed to, even more than you limit for yourself. Our children are the first generation to grow up with so much exposure to what is going on everywhere. They are inundated with up-to-the-minute updates about tragedies that occur anywhere in the world. This is too much for anyone’s brain but certainly overwhelming for the youngest minds. Just because it’s posted, doesn’t mean your child needs to know about it. The continuous updates can be almost addictive and hard to avoid. Your child is unlikely to be able to process the continuous information. you need, both for yourself and your children. Kids are smart and will pick up on parental pain. If you’re crying or weepy while walking around the house, they will notice. Be aware of how you are in front of your children while still respecting your need to work through your own emotions.

Avoid/Limit Media Exposure Just because it’s there, doesn’t mean you need to see it, hear it, or expose your children to it. We are so inundated with information that it can be overwhelming even when the news is slow or cheerful – certainly we can be flooded with information when there is something tragic to report. Make a conscious decision of how often you will check the news and what you will allow yourself to see. For example, I allowed myself to see the names of the victims but not the video footage of the Meron disaster occurring. Others might find the names more emotional and overwhelming, while the videos are within their emotional tolerance. Make a decision for yourself, knowing your

They’re Listening Children like to be near their parents, and this means they’re likely to overhear your conversations. Be aware of listening ears and watch what you say when they’re near. If you’re watching the news, they will hear the details. Even if you made a conscious decision to limit their media exposure, they may now get all the details from your adult-to-adult conversations. Often, adults discuss the gorier details only to each other, but if your kids are listening in (and trust me, they’re trying to) then your children are being exposed to the very information you tried to hide from them. Be aware of where your kids are when you’re involved in adult-only conversations and make sure they can’t hear you.

Discuss the Issues Don’t ignore what they’re hearing and being exposed to. Even better is if you can bring up the discussion with them. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to them about the tragedy then


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42 arrange for someone else to speak to them, but it’s often best for the parent to have that talk, when possible. Find out what information they already have. I’ve been surprised how much information my boys have picked up in shul. Kids hear things in school/camp or even from friends and know more than you think they do. Those younger people are smart! While you may not want to give over the more disturbing details needlessly, you want to find out what they do and don’t know before assuming ignorance. It’s good for children to be able to discuss difficult topics with their parents. It can be comforting for your child to know they can bring up these tough discussions with you. Knowing they have an adult they trust to help them navigate their feelings and work through their uncertainties can go a long way in giving them some of the security they may not feel during times of tragedy and loss. It can be even better if you’re the

first to bring up the topic. By showing initiative and starting these painful conversations, you’re showing parental leadership and strength. A child might be too afraid to ask you but may be open to talking once you’ve

Our children are the first generation to grow up with so much exposure to what is going on everywhere.

started the conversation. When you start the discussion, it shows your child that you’re someone who will talk to them during these difficult times, and they know they can come to you in the future. Don’t be afraid to ask for professional guidance before speaking to your child. It’s important that the

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conversation is productive. If you just say “don’t worry” to everything, while ignoring their fears, you haven’t accomplished much. The communal mental health organizations have put out information and talking points to

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guide you. Take advantage of these pointers put out by professionals in the field. If you need more than that, then reach out for help. Those who are experts in dealing with tragedies realize we will need assistance as we go along and there are resources readily available. If you are having trouble coping or

suspect your child is having trouble, then reach out for help. Even just seeing changes in your child’s behavior is enough reason to ask for further assistance. Speak to their pediatrician or a mental health professional. It’s better to make the phone call than to suffer needlessly. Unfortunately, we have recently experienced a series of tragedies affecting the Jewish community. We feel the pain of our extended Jewish family, and it can take a toll on all of us. Let’s daven for healing for those closely affected and for peace for all of us. By being there for our children, we can help them get through the more painful times while helping them become stronger within themselves and sensitive to the needs of others.

Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.

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By Rabbi Daniel Glatstein

A Mother’s Cries

The Midrash Eichah relates an incident that is

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ship, anxiety, fear, uneasiness — whose family has not been profoundly affected? We all know people who are no longer with us. Loved ones, gedolei Yisrael, all of us were touched by the pandemic. Some people were at death’s door and recovered, but they may never again be the same. People lost their livelihood. Almost as if adding insult to injury, we had to fast and cry, sit on the floor and mourn for a building that we have a hard time relating to and that was destroyed more than two thousand years ago. And yet, let us try to understand: How can a Tishah B’Av like the one we had in 5780 be even more meaningful and more impactful than any Tishah B’Av we have ever experienced? Does a Tishah B’Av in a time of tzarah allow us to connect with the soul of the day in an even more profound way?

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ver the destruction of the Temple that was torn down and trampled upon, I shall lament with a new elegy every year. These are the words of Rav Eliezer HaKalir in Kinnah 24, in which he laments that he will compose “a new elegy,” a new kinnah, annually. What does the mekonein, the composer of the kinnah, mean by the phrase, “a new elegy”? Nothing new has happened; we already know the story. It is static; the details don’t change. Why must he compose a new hesped every year? The recent Tishah B’Av that took place during the COVID-19 pandemic was a very difficult and painful day, coming after months of isolation and fear. It had been as hard a period as many of us have experienced in our lifetime. There was a time when many of us thought that while our parents and grandparents lived through history, we were just looking back at it. But now, we, too, lived through historic times. Global pandemic, health crises, financial hard-

also found in Maseches Sanhedrin. A broken woman who resided in the same neighborhood as Rabban Gamliel had a young child who suddenly died. She would cry over her son at night, and Rabban Gamliel would hear her cries. Whose heart would not melt upon hearing the cries of a woman, especially a woman crying over the death of a beloved child? And yet, the Midrash adds a startling point: Upon hearing the sobs of the woman in mourning, Rabban Gamliel would recall the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash, and he would cry along with her. He would cry so intensely that his eyelashes would fall out. The talmidim of Rabban Gamliel decided that the woman must relocate, and they facilitated her move to a different neighborhood. What is very curious is that Rabban Gamliel, hearing the woman cry, would remember the Churban HaBayis. How did the woman’s tears remind him of the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash? Rav Gifter says that we can derive a fundamental principle from this Midrash. Rabban Gamliel, with his discerning ear and sensitive heart, was able to trace back to the shoresh, the root cause of this woman’s suffering, which is also the root cause of all suffering — and that is the Churban Beis HaMikdash. Thus, Rabban Gamliel was not crying solely for the one single woman’s personal plight; rather, he cried for the cause of all suffering. In a world of a Beis HaMikdash, in a world where gilui Shechinah is manifest, suffering is no longer extant. The Mishnah at the end of Maseches Sotah likewise apparently attributes all deficiency, even b’inyanei gashmiyus, all that is lacking in the world in physical phenomena, to the Churban Beis HaMikdash. The Gemara states, “Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel says that Rabbi Yehoshua testified: From the day the Temple was destroyed there is no day that does not include some form of curse. And since then, the dew has not descended for blessing, and the taste has been removed from fruit. Rabbi Yose says: Since then, the fat of fruit has also been removed.” The world plummets daily, even from a physical standpoint. But this downward spiral was precipitated from the day the Beis HaMikdash

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Is the Churban the Source of All Suffering?


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44 was destroyed. Life just gets worse and worse every year, in every aspect. Says the Munkatcher Rebbe: This means that as time passes, the Churban becomes worse and worse. The tragedy of the Churban compounds, and whatever kinnos and elegies we said last year will not suffice, because this year the Churban itself is an even worse tragedy. We need to compose a new kinnah — we must show more sorrow; hence, Rabbi Eliezer HaKalir wrote, “Over the destruction of the Temple that was torn down and trampled upon, I shall lament with a new elegy every year.” And certainly, this year of the pandemic required a newly composed kinnah describing additional tragedy. A kinnah to express grief for lives lost, for families bereft. A kinnah for the anxiety, for the fear, for the worry. For the fright, for the lost livelihoods, and for the insecurity. A kinnah for the imploding society. Many think the great empires and civilizations of the world fell because they were conquered by an invading army, and we think that America, a bastion of security and stability, can never be conquered, the Goldena Medinah will never fall. But historically the mightiest empire, the Roman Empire, was never conquered by an invading army. It imploded from within. The disillusionment with government and papal leaders caused society to crumble from within. Well, that is what we are living through today. American society has not been so tenuous and unstable since the Civil War. This, according to Rav Gifter, is also rooted in the Churban. A new sefer of Rav Chaim Kanievsky’s she’eilos u’teshuvos was recently published. One of the questions cited is if one can daven for the end of the pandemic together with tefillos for the rebuilding of the Beis HaMikdash. And Rav Chaim, as he often does, responded, “efshar, perhaps.” I would humbly suggest that it would be appropriate; as we are not living in a self-contained, isolated period, it is an offshoot of Churban Beis HaMikdash. A coronavirus, a pandemic resulting in an unstable society, should inspire us to daven to address the source of all our troubles: a world without the Beis HaMikdash. However, I must share my humble viewpoint that I do have some reservations about this concept and teaching that all Jewish tragedy and suffering is rooted in the Churban.

The Absent Kinnah

Rav Joseph B. Soloveitchik, in his commentary to Kinnos, raises a very intriguing question. He asks why no kinnah was composed to commemo-

rate the Chmielnicki pogroms, during which tens of thousands of Jews were massacred. There is even a fast day that is observed in commemoration of these pogroms: 20 Sivan. Selichos were composed. Why are no kinnos recited in its memory? He asks the question in a very compelling way, saying, “I do not know why there are no kinnos recited on Tishah B’Av to commemorate the Chmielnicki persecutions. The kinnos that were

In a world of a Beis HaMikdash, in a world where gilui Shechinah is manifest, suffering is no longer extant. composed to commemorate the Chmielnicki persecutions and which are recited on the twentieth of Sivan are not said on Tishah B’Av.” I would like to address this problem. In Igros Moshe, Rav Moshe discusses the oft-posed question: Why has no fast day been enacted to commemorate the Holocaust, the greatest tragedy to befall our people since the Churban? What makes this question all the more troubling is the fact that a fast day was legislated for the Chmielnicki pogroms, namely the twentieth of Sivan. Rav Moshe draws an astounding distinction. Says Rav Moshe, not all tragedy is rooted in Chur-

ban Beis HaMikdash. It depends on the situation. The Holocaust was perpetrated by the German government — a world power. That type of tragedy is a result of the Churban. When the Temple stood, malchus, sovereignty, belonged to Yisrael. With the destruction of the Temple, the nations of the world stripped us of our malchus and usurped it for themselves. Therefore, tragedy that is perpetrated by the governments of the world is a direct result of Churban Beis HaMikdash. The Holocaust is a result of the Churban; hence, we commemorate the Holocaust on Tishah B’Av, and no separate fast is made. However, the Chmielnicki pogroms of 1648-1649 were not perpetrated by the established government. They were committed by rebels, anti-government, anti-establishment Cossacks, and therefore, since the pogroms are not related to the Churban, they are commemorated on a different occasion, and a fast day is observed on 20 Sivan. To my mind, this clearly answers Rav Soloveitchik’s question as to why there are no kinnos recited on Tishah B’Av to commemorate the Chmielnicki pogroms. Rav Moshe would say because they are not related to Tishah B’Av; they are not rooted in the Churban HaBayis.

A Kinnah for Covid-19?

What would Rav Moshe say about Covid-19, a global pandemic? Rav Moshe would apparently maintain that it is not related to Tishah B’Av. An imploding society caused by a virus is not an evil perpetrated by a government. How is this rooted in Tishah B’Av? Therefore, perhaps we can search for a different approach. Was a Tishah B’Av like the one we just experienced any more meaningful in the context of the challenges and difficulties we are currently facing? This is not just a theoretical question, because it can be posed in the following way. We all face some type of personal challenge, whether in health, family life, chinuch habanim, etc. Are these types of difficulties related to the Churban? Can we focus on our personal challenges to connect with Tishah B’Av in a deeper way? Perhaps there is another way in which a personal crisis can serve to help us connect more closely with Tishah B’Av.

Harnessing Our Emotions

Shlomo HaMelech tells us, “Be pleased when times go well, but in a time of misfortune reflect: G-d has made the one no less so that man should


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45 ward Yosef, he should harness that love for the ultimate cause and channel it toward HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Similarly, says Rav Avigdor Miller, when it comes to thanking Hashem, to engendering gratitude, it is not always a simple task to feel grateful for the manifold gifts Hashem has bestowed upon us as members of Klal Yisrael. One may not be in the frame of mind to thank Hashem for having taken us out of Mitzrayim and given us the Torah. One may be under a great deal of stress and not have the mindset to appreciate the bris milah or the land that He bequeathed us. Chazal therefore strove to capture our feelings of contentment and satisfaction. Having just

Rabban Gamliel’s Tears

Surely Rabban Gamliel mourned for the Churban Beis HaMikdash. But there is little that can break someone’s heart and move one to tears

This article has been excerpted from Rabbi Daniel Glatstein’s sefer, The Darkness and the Dawn, published by ArtScroll.

Rabbi Daniel Glatstein is the rav and founder of Kehilas Maggid Harakiah in Cedarhurst.

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finished a delicious meal, we are in a good mood and in a positive frame of mind to appreciate and thank HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Chazal formulated Bircas HaMazon to harness the gratitude we are feeling for the good food and channel it toward Hashem for the other gifts He has bestowed upon us as well. At other times during the day, it may be challenging to find the time and engender the attitude to be grateful, so we seize the opportunity and include many benefits to be thankful for as we recite Bircas HaMazon. This is the principle of “Be pleased when things go well”; use the good occasion to be grateful to HaKadosh Baruch Hu for all His benefits.

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If one is confronted with a tragedy that has stirred his emotions and brought him to tears, he should direct his sorrow toward the national mourning for the Churban.

more than the sobs of a mother who has lost her child. Her cry is so painful that it stirs emotions in all passersby. A cry like that would melt anyone’s heart. Perhaps we can suggest that what brought Rabban Gamliel to tears when he heard the woman crying was not his discerning that the root cause of her suffering was the Churban, as Reb Moshe indicates that personal tragedy may not be directly related to the Churban. Rather, he felt the raw emotion of her pain, he felt the bitterness and sorrow that she was feeling, and he chose to channel it toward mourning for the Beis HaMikdash. It was a painful moment, and he harnessed it to be misabel al Yerushalayim. Just as we have to take advantage of happy occasions, similarly, we must capitalize on the bad times as well, using them to stir emotions of longing and sadness for the loss of the Beis HaMikdash. When feeling depressed or broken, don’t cry only for your personal plight. Try to channel the emotions and cry for the Shechinah. It is not easy to genuinely cry over the Churban and the galus haShechinah. But if one is confronted with a tragedy that has stirred his emotions and brought him to tears, he should direct his sorrow toward the national mourning for the Churban. One should emulate Rabban Gamliel, who, when he heard the mother weeping for the loss of her child, utilized the emotions aroused within him to cry over the Beis HaMikdash. Experiencing a Tishah B’Av in a time of the Covid pandemic, when our hearts were already broken over the tragic loss of friends and loved ones, when we were mourning for gedolei Yisrael who are no longer with us, when we felt the pain of Jews whose health was suffering or who were faced with the loss of their livelihood, was an opportunity to cry not only for the losses we have experienced during the mageifah, not only to cry for our personal situation, but also an opportunity to harness our emotions, channel our tears, and mourn the Beis HaMikdash and the galus haShechinah. Through personal challenges and difficulties, the Ribbono Shel Olam is providing us with a grand opportunity to channel our sorrow and cry for the Shechinah and for the Beis HaMikdash. “Whoever mourns for Yerushalayim will merit to see her consolation.” May we be zocheh to see the fruition of this assurance and no longer have the need to mourn over the Churban or for any other difficulties that cause us pain.

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find nothing after Him” (Koheles 7:14). Rav Avigdor Miller explains that this pasuk is conveying an idea that can infuse meaning into many situations we encounter in our lives. Envision someone who enjoys a delectable sandwich, replete with numerous condiments and tasty meats. He then proceeds to thank Hashem for the meal with the recitation of Bircas HaMazon. In the bentching, he thanks Hashem for the land of Eretz Yisrael. He also thanks Hashem for having taken us out of Mitzrayim and for the mitzvah of bris milah. He shows appreciation for Hashem having given us the Torah: “and for Your Torah which You taught us.” These inclusions seem a bit out of place. Having just partaken of a sumptuous meal, he ought to be focusing his gratitude on the enjoyment and pleasure of his sandwich. Why is he mentioning the geulah from Mitzrayim and the mitzvah of bris milah? He was eating, not learning Gemara, so why is this the time and place to thank Hashem for the Torah? A similar question can be posed about Yaakov Avinu being reunited with Yosef after he had been missing for so many years. Yaakov Avinu suffered the loss of Ruach HaKodesh when his son Yosef was sold as a slave. Yaakov experienced years of anguish, as he never stopped mourning. After twenty-two years, he received unbelievable news: His son Yosef was alive and well. Yaakov embarked on a journey to see Yosef. He could hardly wait to embrace his long-lost son. When that emotionally-charged moment finally came and he saw Yosef, Yaakov Avinu recited Krias Shema. Why did he choose to say Shema at that moment? Could he not have said it beforehand, or perhaps after he greeted his son? Furthermore, if it were zman Krias Shema, then Yosef ought to have been saying Shema as well! The Gur Aryeh explains that as Yaakov Avinu was preparing to see his son Yosef after more than two decades, he realized that he was about to experience the most emotionally charged moment of his life: an outpouring of love toward his son. The mitzvah in the Torah to love Hashem is a challenging commandment to fulfill. It is not a simple task to develop love and engender love. Actions are within our control; emotions less so. We cannot always control our emotions, and we cannot turn them on or off at will. Yaakov recognized that he was going to be afforded a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to experience an outpouring of love. He would be seeing his son for the first time in twenty-two years, after not knowing if his son was alive. Yaakov Avinu took these extraordinarily powerful emotions and channeled them toward Hashem. Recognizing he may never again experience such a moment, he chose to direct these emotions to the Ribbono Shel Olam. If one is going to be experiencing a great moment of ahavah, such as that of Yaakov Avinu to-


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Seeing Hashem's Guiding Hand Dr. Moshe Katz Lived to Tell His Story BY TAMMY MARK

Dr. Katz with the brush that helped him survive

“I’m

not a Holocaust survivor per se, like everybody else. It’s one in a million how it happened.” To hear his inspiring stories of survival and success, it is evident that Dr. Moshe Katz lived through the war not only to tell the story to the world but to help secure a future for generations to come. Speaking with the soft-spoken nonagenarian, he shares his astonishing anecdotes in the most matter-of-fact way, attributing his survival largely to Providence. From the stories he relates, it is clear that the Katz family was no ordinary family, and the tenacious and brave Moshe Katz is particularly extraordinary. Dr. Katz lives in Lawrence, New York, in the center of the Five Towns-Far Rockaway region that he helped foster into the vibrant Jewish community it is today. He received his degree in Holocaust and Jewish studies and is an historian who can discuss every aspect of the ear The cover of Dr. Katz’s book. Moshe, Yankel, Surly, Josef, Louse, Sonny, Manca, Chana and Terry are depicted in the photo

and each country’s involvement in the war, his bookshelves filled with books on World War II. Dr. Katz has even studied books about Adolf Hitler himself, in an attempt to possibly comprehend the incomprehensible. Dr. Katz differentiates himself from those who survived the atrocities of the concentration camps and those who endured the devastation and hardships of life in war-torn Europe. Though he was spared from the camps, he had to hide his Jewish identity to survive. “I wasn’t hiding; I was working as a Christian working in different places, but I never had to hide,” he says. “I was working in different places – on a farm, in a supermarket, a garage – I got jobs all over. I had to run from one place to another, changing my name a few times, until finally I was liberated by the Russian army.”

History to Share Of the ten Katz siblings, nine survived the war. Moshe Katz chronicles his journey in his 2006 biography Nine out Ten, which he dedicated of Ten to his beloved parents, Chaya and Chaim, his adored older brother Pinchas, and his wife and daughters, his

aunts, uncles, hundreds of cousins and his revered rebbes and the six million souls who were murdered, as well as to the Righteous Gentiles who risked their own lives to save his. He estimates that over 200 members of his extended family perished in the camps. Written with the help of Nachman Seltzer, Dr. Katz’s book tells of life before, during and after the ghetto, and the numerous dangerous encounters and miraculous escapes he and his siblings experienced. As a young man before the war, Katz made a pact with his friends that if they lived to tell the story, they would. He was the sole survivor of his group, yet he couldn’t keep his word to tell his story for decades – sadly because nobody wanted to hear it. Dr. Katz explains that in the first years after the war, survivors were often dissuaded from sharing the atrocities, even among fellow Jews. It wasn’t until May 1960 that the horrific history became newsworthy. Adolf Eichmann, the architect of the “Final Solution” who had sent half a million Hungarian Jews to death in Auschwitz, was hunted down and captured in Argentina and brought to Israel to be tried for his crimes. Dr. Katz was determined to be there to watch it happen. The ever-resourceful survivor managed to procure a pass for the trial’s opening day. He praised G-d for the opportunity to see the vile Eichmann locked in a cage. When Dr. Katz returned home to the States, people were ready to listen. Finally finding an interested audience, Dr. Katz began chronicling his experiences by


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A Family with a Mission

“We had a signal if somebody wanted to bring a message – the secret signal was ‘brush.’”

Moshe and Leah, a’h, with some of their descendants

Each of the Katz siblings forged their own journey. Most survived by working under gentile aliases. The Katzes were a resourceful and determined family and well regarded wherever they went. They tried to stay in touch as much as possible throughout the war and took every opportunity to help one another whenever possible. Moshe ended up working on a farm. His brother, Sonny, hid with 19 others in an unHiding as derground a gentile wine cellar at age 20 not to o far away. Moshe Katz attributes his survival to luck and his constant conversations and pleadings with G-d. “I have more luck than anybody else,” he shares. “You could imagine that in Europe life was different than here. I was 20 years old, and I never made a decision in my life. Whatever my parents told me, that’s what it was – there was no ‘but, if, or how.’ It was like an order from the king. So when I left home and I had to make my own decisions – and it’s not because I was smart – I was lucky with all the things that I did. “For instance, I worked on a farm where only the manager knew I was Jewish, of all of the workers – nobody knew. Not far from there was a wine cellar in the mountain hiding 20 Jews, and hiding there was one of my younger brothers.” Though luck may have played a big part, his resourcefulness can’t be overlooked. Dr. Katz shares how he snuck bread and whatever else he could to Sonny and to the others and attempted to boost their morale as well. On one of the last visits, Moshe brought vegetables to cook soup for them. He put nails on the table in four corners, put the pot on top of the nails and placed candles underneath. “We cooked a soup – it took five hours – but you should see how happy they were!” Moshe eventually smuggled Sonny and family friend Rivka out of the hiding spot right before the group was discovered. Rivka experienced her own miracles and narrowly escaped death to survive and raise a Jewish family.

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was a generous pillar of chessed herself, and their home was always filled with guests. They selflessly provided for others however they could – cooking for weddings and providing resources and care to their community until the end. The Katz children were imbued with a sense of familial and communal responsibility from their earliest days. Once Hungary took over the region and the winds of war blew in, life as they knew it had changed. The whole family learned aspects of the family brush business, with Moshe receiving extensive business training mandated through the government. The Katzes began to

On Their Own

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Moshe was the eighth child in his devout Jewish family. His father, Chaim, originated from Poland and his mother Chaya from Hungary; they raised their family in an idyllic existence in the Czechoslovakian city of Uzhorod. They were relatives of the Belzer rabbinic dynasty, and Torah permeated their lives. Chaim made a living as a brush maker and was highly regarded as an entrepreneur, baal chessed, and enthusiastic scholar. Chaya

prepare Hungarian documents for Jewish refugees. Though they were under constant scrutiny by the government, enduring beatings and other hardships, the family remained steadfast and intact as long as possible, surMoshe when viving longer he was 18 than most Jewish families. Though the Hungarian Jews were not taken to the concentration camps until the final years of the war, they faced equally horrible fates as their fellow Jews. The terror began with detainments and roundups, and eventually gave way to deportation and death. “In spite of the newspapers and the radio, we never heard about Auschwitz – never, never, never,” explains Dr. Katz. “You weren’t allowed to listen to a foreign broadcast and the only way we would have found out would be listening to English stations from London. They had a way to find out who had a radio, and if you listened to a foreign broadcast, you were a spy. Even if you weren’t Jewish, you were eliminated.” Dr. Katz relates the atmosphere on the streets. “Three people walking on the street – they were eliminated for conspiring – only two could walk, even non-Jews. This was a law. They called them conspirators – because what else do you have to talk about except the war? This was their mentality.” He adds, “The police had one thing in mind – catching a Jew.” In March of 1944 Germany occupied Hungary, and the Nazi troops imposed harsh restrictions on the Jews, including curfews and the wearing of yellow stars. In April, the deportations began. Realizing deportation was imminent, Chaya and Chaim Katz made plans to disperse their family, sending each one in a different direction and keeping only their youngest, Yisroel “Sruly,” with them. Moshe was sent off last, specifically armed with emphatic directives to keep Shabbos and kosher until the end – Chaya told him that he would surely survive if he did. His parents were taken to Auschwitz by June 1944.

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writing “My Mission” in the Hamodia publication. He later went on to present his story to students of all demographics for the next several decades, even switching to Zoom when the live events were paused during the Covid pandemic.


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48 After that near-death encounter, Moshe and Sonny stayed together. They were in touch with their sister, Chana, who was not too far away. “We never wanted to be in one place with more than one or two of us,” Dr. Katz recalls. “We had a signal if somebody wanted to bring a message – the secret signal was ‘brush.’ If somebody approached any of the Katz siblings and said ‘brush,’ they knew they could trust them. “In fact, it was one of the brushes that my sister sent me when I was on the farm, and she hired a Nazi soldier to pick me up with my younger brother and brought me to the capital city.” Dr. Katz still has that very brush with the secret compartment. “As soon as he showed me the brush, I was able to talk to him, and trust him and there was hidden money in there – and this is how we communicated through the signal of a brush. She helped me with the papers and, somehow or another, we survived.” He remembers, “I had all kinds of jobs. One of the most important jobs was working in a German garage with a Nazi insignia on the label of the uniform. I was a king of kings for six weeks. Then they became suspicious of somebody, and they were examining e v e r y b o d y, and then I had to disappear from there – throw away my IDs and everything and start a new life.” Moshe was 20 years old and experienced one of his first feelings of helplessness. For t u nately, Chana helped procure new papers again, and Moshe procured a job in the supermarket. Traveling together, Moshe and Sonny narrowly escaped danger Dr. Katz with his wife Hindy in front of his extensive library

so many times, yet not much deterred them from trying to help others when they could. Along the way, the brothers encountered two children walking alone together, distant cousins who were now orphans. Moshe arranged for them to be taken care of in a monastery. He and Sonny would visit them as often as possible in attempts to ensure they remembered their Jewish identities, until it became too risky that they would all be exposed. It was October of 1944, and the last months of the war proved to be some of the bloodiest, as the Hungarian Arrow Cross soldiers were determined to destroy the remaining Jews. By November, the Jewish men were deported to camps. Moshe had some immunity by working in the supermarket, and he and Sonny managed to stay out of sight and dodged several close calls. They witnessed the unfathomable horror of young Jewish children being dumped and drowned in the Danube River. This massacre continued for several days. A reported 20,000 children were killed, their blood flowing through the river. “For them, it was more important to kill a Jew than win the war, because they were busy up until the end catching Jews,” Dr. Katz notes. “They didn’t mind using 10 soldiers in catching one Jew. That was their aim.” Mercifully, there were some heroic rescue efforts at the time, like those of Raoul Wallenberg, who rescued tens of thousands of Jews by issuing Swedish passports to them. Moshe and Hindy with sister Chana

“Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t work; nobody was sure until the last minute,” says Dr. Katz. By December, the brothers got word that the Russians were coming. Chana soon directed them to relocate move from Buda to Pest. “I was living on the other side of the Danube River, where very little Jews were,” Dr. Katz recalls. “My sister let me

know that the Russians would come only on this side of the river and then they would stop, so I moved myself to the other side of the river. Since I was working at that time in a supermarket, I brought along a lot of canned stuff which nobody could get, even with tickets from the government – it wasn’t available. When you moved into an apartment you had to register with the super, and on every block, there was an investigator. You had to register with them to make sure you’re not a spy, you’re not a Jew, and that I couldn’t do – I would never have passed. I was putting out a few cans and the conversation was on the food…luckily, we survived there. Somehow we survived.”

Picking Up the Pieces In January 1945, the Russians had liberated the city. The Germans disappeared, and Hungarian Arrow Cross officers were obsolete.

“For them, it was more important to kill a Jew than win the war” “When the Russians came in at least we identified ourselves as Jews, and they were friendly,” Dr. Katz says. “They gave us bread and everything. They trusted the Jews, but they didn’t trust the population. They knew the Jews were oppressed by the Germans and by the Hungarians and by the Romanians – everybody hated the Jew.” Moshe was looking for work and eventually ended up at the Russian military headquarters. He had a gift for languages, having been exposed to populations of Hungarians, Czechs and Russians. He became friendly with a few soldiers and eventually got a job translator and was given permission to move about the region freely. They supplied him with bread and other food, and Moshe and Sonny were able to join up with Chana and Terry. The Russian officers tried their best to convince him to give up his religion but Moshe never relented, doing his utmost to keep his mother’s entreaties and holding onto a small set of tefillin and one string of tzitzis. After a while, Moshe decided it was time to take leave once again. The Katz siblings were determined to visit their home. Dr. Katz explains how his Czecho-


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JULY 15, 2021

Dr. Moshe Katz with some of his brothers and some of their descendants

slovakian hometown city of Uzhorod was taken over several times in his lifetime: when he was born, it was Czechoslovakia; then Hungary invaded the region; then Russia came and took over; when Russia collapsed, Ukraine took over. It was once called Ungvar and today Uzgorod; his passport now says he was born in Ukraine. When they finally arrived at their childhood home, the Katz siblings found it completely ransacked with barely a wall left standing. At this point, nobody realized the true extent of the destruction of the war and human devastation that had occurred.

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“I didn’t recognize him. He came without hair, with two different shoes, with an American soldier’s jacket…” The Russian communist government was taking hold in the city. Soon enough, the warnings came once again that it was time for Moshe to leave town, before he could be arrested, however, this time not for being a Jew. Ironically, as a former factory owner, he now risked arrest and deportation to Siberia as a capitalist. Moshe was now 21, and he led a group of 20 people – his brother and 18 teenage boys and girls who had all lost their parents. He managed to get two oxen and a driver to deliver them to the international train station with a plan to leave Russia for Romania. They then boarded a train to Grosswardein, where the Vizhnitzer Rebbe and some of his chassidim had already established a shul.

Upon arrival in Romania, the police informed the group that if they could find an apartment that was previously Jewish-owned they would evict the current residents. They found a place with six bedrooms to accommodate them, and the police kept their word. They then went to the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee, and the organization promptly delivered beds, dishes and food and supplied the group with everything they would need for the apartment. Each day brought new survivors to town, recalls Dr. Katz. “Little by little, the Jews started to come back. My younger brother Sruly found out where I was. He came from Auschwitz. One Saturday morning, he knocked on the door. I didn’t recognize him. He came without hair, with two different shoes, with an American soldier’s jacket…” Sruly had endured Auschwitz, suffering from the loss of his parents and later his brother Pinchas on the Death March. He came searching for Moshe after the liberation. The Katz family was slowly regrouping. Sister Manca was nearby but was determined to track down their brother Louie, who had initially escaped town and passed for some time as a gentile brush maker. He ended up in Theresienstadt labor camp; Louie was tortured and left weak as an infant. Manca nursed him back to health. “Then I met my oldest brother Eugene, Yankel, on the street,” Dr. Katz remembers. “Suddenly, a Jewish restaurant opened up in our city. We didn’t see a restaurant or a Jew for so long. It was advertised all over the region, and suddenly all the refugees and everybody came waiting for it to open. We were walking and he was also walking, and I didn’t recognize him. He smiled, but the way he was dressed, we were very uncomfortable – we were afraid even to touch people because they had lice. Then he smiled and walked over. At home, he was like an aristocrat – he had a fur coat and white shirts, black tie, a hat – he looked like a king, and now he looked like a beggar…”

It turned out that after being initially sent away by his parents before the deportations, Yankel, too, had eventually been caught and taken to Auschwitz. Moshe had been acting as the eldest until this point, but his oldest brother now took the responsibility. Life started to feel a bit normal for the family. They soon understood how fortunate their family was to have each other amongst so much loss. Soon enough, Romania was also taken over by the communists. The prior government was full of Jews; when the communists came in, they hanged them all. The group moved on to Prague, and Moshe helped them get settled. He continued to assist the incoming Jewish refugees however he could. He shares, “Now we needed new papers again. The law was if you find your teacher from school, you could get papers and become a citizen. I found my teacher and he gave me a letter, and I got a passport and papers in Prague.” Luck and resourcefulness kept Dr. Katz alive. In December of 1945, Moshe received a letter from his brother Joe who had escaped through Switzerland. The Katz siblings set off for their next reunion. “In France, I had a brother who had survived. He already had an apartment, he was in business and he took care of all his siblings in a one bedroom apartment – we were lying on the floor.” Joe was doing well for himself – he wore custom monogrammed shirts and tailored suits, and he gave them everything they needed. There was not much religious Jewish life in Paris, and there was an almost two-hour walk to the synagogue. “We had to get back to Jewish life,” Dr. Katz says. The only answer for them was in America. But the United States wouldn’t let them in because the quota from Czechoslovakia was at a 6-8 years wait. Fortunately, they had an uncle living in the States who was able to secure papers for the three brothers, Moshe, Sonny and Sruly, as students. In 1947, a Danish freighter set sail for two weeks landing at Ellis Island. Moshe was 23 when he came to America. He met his first wife Leah Rosenfeld, a”h, an American girl who married him despite him being “a greener” immigrant. Leah and Moshe settled in Manhattan’s Upper West Side at a cousin’s apartment, along with Moshe’s two brothers. He started working in real estate with his uncle who was in the business. Moshe Katz was extremely successful in his new country; he landed on

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A Pillar of the Community Leah and Moshe moved to Far Rockaway in 1954 and then to Lawrence in 1965. They had three daughters. They first davened at Rabbi Rubin’s Sulitza shul and then the Agudah on Sage Street. When the Katzes landed in Far Rockaway, the only yeshiva in the area was the Hebrew Institute of Long Island (HILI), a coed day school. Dr. Katz was determined to

go look in a department store and if they sell for $10 , you sell for $7. They had no idea how to go into business – or how to think. They had no idea. The whole family had only worked as conductors or engineers for the railroad.” Everyone had thought the successful “American Jew” would forget them, but Moshe Katz never did. Leah passed away 23 years ago, and Dr. Katz is remarried to Hindy Diskind. Dr. Katz’s youngest daughter Debbie still lives nearby; the other two daughters are in Flatbush. He proudly shares that under him, from his three daughters, he has over a hundred descendants. His great-grandchildren are getting married now. He missed three weddings during the Covid period but he recently began attending simchos again and is blessed to say he has several more coming up in weeks ahead. “I’m in touch with all of them – I know all their names,” he says. “One grandchild lives right here and she comes every day.” He wishes he could wake up Hitler just to show him… Today, in his late 90’s, Dr. Katz admits it’s getting harder and harder to get out and around, but he thanks G-d for his children and that somebody is always here for him. Dr. Moshe Katz is one of the last of his siblings still alive, along with youngest brother Sruly. Sonny died this past year, and Louie passed away a few years back at the age of 102. Moshe is the only one of the Katz siblings who would speak about the Holocaust. “I’m doing this for 40 years,” he says. “I taught for 30 years in one school here in Yeshiva of Far Rockaway and in TAG for maybe 10 years, and I’m still president at TAG.” Dr. Katz also speaks in public schools to minority students, telling them that we can all fight bigotry together. “We are not their enemies,” he tells them. “We both have to fight the same enemies.” Dr. Katz’s story is far from over, but his biography close with these powerful words: “Hitler’s aim was to wipe us out. My answer to him is to build future generations.”

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Sruly was drafted to the U.S. Army. He was sent to Germany and was stationed in Nuremberg, a mere 10 years after he was in the German concentration camp. “I went to visit him there…it was pretty hard,” Dr. Katz acknowledged. Moshe was caretaking as always, and he was always focused on religion. He wanted to make sure Sruly didn’t bring back a German bride like many soldiers did. Sruly got married in Antwerp in the early ‘50s – it was a huge joy to have all of the surviving Katz siblings celebrating together for the first time. “The rest is history,” Dr. Katz quips.

Moshe and Hindy at a Names Not Numbers event at HALB Elementary

JULY 15, 2021

“Hitler’s aim was to wipe us out. My answer to him is to build future generations.”

create more yeshiva options for Jewish families. Dr. Katz got busy, work ing to help found the Yeshiva of South Shore and e vent ua l ly To rah Academy for Girls. Though his first wish was to try to establish a girls’ school for his daughters, he didn’t have enough families who were interested. He focused his efforts on the boys’ yeshiva and held the inaugural meeting in his house. He recalls, “I got $500 from seven people including me, so we had $3,500 – at time it was a lot of money.” There were plenty of skeptics but Dr. Katz was resolute. “I said by hook or crook there will be one.” He went to Brooklyn to seek out Rav Binyamin Kamenetzky, zt”l, to convince him to lead the new yeshiva. They finally started out on Oak Street in Woodmere, with a girls’ school up the block. Eventually, the schools separated and both became thriving Torah institutions in their own right. Jewish life in the areas continued to proliferate. Little by little, restaurants opened and more people moved here – schools and shuls sprouted and grew. Many people moved from Brooklyn since there was an eruv, which was a draw for young families to be able to bring children to shul. Dr. Katz had succeeded in contributing to Jewish life and continuing his family’s legacy. Dr. Katz has countless other stories to tell. He helped people through the years whenever and however he could. He also stayed in touch with and helped support the Righteous Gentiles who had helped hide him through the war. He would send them his own daughters’ dresses later on from the States. He even provided materials for the families to start their own business, though it wasn’t simple for them to get on their feet. Dr. Katz explains, “Under communism, people grew up dependent on the government for everything. You got married; ten years later, you’re entitled to get an apartment. You couldn’t hold on to two jobs because then you’d be becoming ‘a different person.’ So when communism ended, I send them a box of material for making blouses or skirts. The blouses were ready, and they didn’t know what to charge. They had no idea – I told them to

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the pages of the financial section of The New York Times as the youngest man in real estate to purchase a building. By age 24, he had resold that building for a large profit. Dr. Katz went on to manage various properties and continued working up until last February. Moshe had purchased a small supermarket in the Bronx for his brothers to work in. They were the only ones closed on Saturday – not an easy feat since there were “blue laws” in effect at the time mandating closure on Sundays. The Katz family held their ground and eventually managed to pave their own way. They later started a new business importing electronics and grew it into a very big company. Moshe had many of his siblings working alongside him throughout the years. The other Katz siblings were spread all over the world. Chana got married in Romania in the summer of 1945 – the first Jewish wedding after the war. One sister got married in Paris, and the youngest sister married a Swiss man and remained in Switzerland throughout her life.


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Common

Cents

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JULY 15, 2021

By Elliot Pepper, CPA, CFP®️, MST

Cash Flow Management: An Easier Way to Budget The importance of “financial wellness” has increased in popularity in recent years. According to the University of San Diego, “Financial wellness is an on-going process and combination of increasing awareness of your current financial state, strengthening your knowledge of Financial Literacy, making well-informed decisions, and taking intentional and mindful steps towards achieving a healthy financial well-being”. Think about maintaining a physically healthy lifestyle through diet and exercise. There is a goal to live a healthy life, a basic framework of principles, and an action plan to follow. While the principles are universal, the action plan can differ for everyone. The same applies to financial health, but financial goals can be hard to define and the framework confusing or unknown (we are taught to eat our veggies, but not to open an IRA). A basic framework of principles related to personal cash flow management can be applied to an action plan that works for you. Cash Flow & Budgeting: “Don’t go to Starbucks so much,” often comes to mind when thinking about budgeting. While managing spending is important, the real goal is to manage cash flow today and set a foundation to accumulate wealth. By focusing on this goal, less time can be spent on tedious expense tracking, allowing for more time spent on setting financial milestones and tailoring behavior to reach them. A practical understanding of Cash Flow Management will let you stress less about money, leaving more room to just enjoy life! Cash flow is the concept that everyone has a certain amount of money that flows in (inflows) and flows out (outflows). The majority of inflows typically will be income from a job, but can also come from investments, gifts, or any cash you can spend, save, or invest. Outflows can be broken down into three categories: Necessary (the “have to’s”), Discretionary (the “want to’s”), and your Savings

(“paying yourself”). Everyone, from a college grad to Jeff Bezos, has inflows and outflows. Cash Flow Management is the ability to know your inflows and outflows and establish guardrails for a fiscally responsible life. Let’s consider the basic principles and how you can apply them: Cash Flow Principles: 1. Spend less than you make: Simple, yet oftentimes challenging. Inflows should never be less than outflows on a regular basis. No matter your income, if expenses exceed income on a regular basis, you are headed for trouble. Businesses that spend more than they earn eventually go bust. The same is true for people. You might be able to bridge the gap with debt, but that is a coverup to a larger problem. After all, if you cannot meet your current expenses with today’s inflows, how can you expect to cover the additional interest expense? 2. Pay Yourself First: A certain amount of money should be “spent” on yourself through monthly contributions to a savings and/or investing account. This is a key guardrail that continuously improves your finances. The gap between your income and expenses is your wealth - prioritize it! 3. Pay bills in full: Credit cards make it easy to securely pay bills and buy the things we want or need. The balance should be paid in full every month - end of story! Any balance not fully paid will incur interest, which is an unnecessary outflow. Applying the Principles: 1. Keep it Simple: The majority of people (even families) need only one checking account. A checking account serves an important purpose - inflows get deposited, and outflows are paid. It is the core of your financial plumbing system - flowing money in,

out, and redirecting it to your wealth building accounts. Don’t overcomplicate it. 2. Get Honest: Review the last 3 bank statements and credit card statements. Write down your monthly inflows and your outflows between Necessary, Discretionary, and Savings. It won’t be the same month to month, but you must know the average inflows and break down your spending between the “have to’s” and the “want to’s”. If the difference between inflows and spending is positive, that’s great - start saving! If the difference is negative, decrease your discretionary outflows, increase your inflows, or some combination of both.* 3. Automatic Savings: Open a savings account and link to your checking account. Deposit something (anything!) into that account and set up an automatic monthly transfer from your checking to your savings. More important than the amount that you contribute is just doing it. The habit of automated savings will pay huge dividends (literally!). If you already have a fully funded Emergency Fund, start contributions to an investment account (IRA, 401K, Brokerage). Invest early, and invest often! 4. Automatic Payments: All credit cards will allow you to pay the entire balance automatically by the due date. Enable this option! The tyranny of credit card debt is crippling, so when it comes to rolling a credit

card balance, just say no. 5. Monitor Progress: You can use many free online budgeting apps. You can also simply start tracking the balance in your checking, savings, and investment account at the end of every month. If the balance is steadily rising over time, congratulations! If balances are decreasing over time, go back to #2 (Get Honest) and figure out what can be done to cut discretionary outflows or increase inflows. If your balances are staying flat, great - now revisit the “PYF” concept and start accumulating wealth.* By following an action plan that puts principles into action, you will find budgeting, saving, and cash management quite manageable. There is an investment of time initially, but the benefits are worth it. Like any good habit, it might be hard to start, but commitment and repetition are key to a successful outcome. Send questions, comments, or other topics you would like to learn about to: commoncents@northbrookfinancial.com. *For a free account tracking template or free cash flow template email commoncents@northbrookfinancial.com Elliot Pepper, CPA, CFP®, MST is Co-Founder of Northbrook Financial, a Financial Planning, Tax, and Investment Management Firm. He has developed and continues to teach a popular Financial Literacy course for high school students.


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Centerfold

Errors on the Cup As the oldest and most revered trophy in professional sports, there is no greater honor than having your name engraved on the Stanley Cup. But the engravers don’t always get it right. Suffice it to say, they are not competing in the Scripps Spelling Bee anytime soon. Here are the mistakes that they have made to date:

? ?

1937-38:

[Chicago

Blackhawks]

Palangio’s name appears twice; it’s spelled correctly once and incorrectly as PALAGIO. 1941-42: [Toronto Maple Leafs] – Goaltender Turk Broda is represented twice, once as TURK BRODA and again as WALTER BRODA (his real name).

?

Pete

?

1971-72: [Boston Bruins] – The team name is

?

1974-75: [Montreal Canadiens] – Forward Bob

?

1980-81: [New York Islanders] – The

misspelled as BQSTQN BRUINS.

Gainey’s name is misspelled as GAINY.

team’s name is misspelled as NEW YORK ILANDERS.

1946-47: [Toronto Maple Leafs] – Forward Gaye Stewart is misspelled as GAVE STEWART.

?

1983-84: [Edmonton Oilers] – Owner Peter Pocklington included

the name of his father, Basil Pocklington,

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?

1951-52: [Detroit Red Wings] –

who was unaffiliated with the team.

Coach Tommy Ivan’s name is

After the NHL learned of the move, it

misspelled as TOMMY NIVAN; center Alex Delvecchio‘s name is

ordered the name removed. The name is now covered by a string of 16 X’s.

misspelled as ALEX BELVECCHIO.

?

1956 thru 1960: [Montreal Canadiens] – Hall of Fame

?

1995-96: [Colorado Avalanche] – Forward Adam

Deadmarsh’s name was misspelled

goaltender Jacques Plante won

as ADAM DEADMARCH. It was later

the Stanley Cup five consecutive

corrected, a Stanley Cup first.

years; his name is spelled differently each time.

?

1962-63: [Toronto Maple Leafs] –

?

2001-02: [Detroit Red Wings] – Goaltender Manny

Legace’s name was misspelled as

The team name is misspelled as

MANNY LAGASE; it was later

TORONTO MAPLE LEAES.

corrected.


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Know Your Definitions

Match these 2021 Scripps National Spelling Bee words with their definitions a. tending to cause blistering

2. Verdure

b. adhering resolutely to an opinion

3. Vicissitudes

c. retaining or preserving moisture

4. Pertinacity

d. relating to prophecy

5. Traditive

e. tending to appear late

6. Pellucidity

f. lush green vegetation

7. Vesicant

g. one who drinks with another

8. Compotator

h. a change of circumstances or fortune

9. Fatidic

i. relating to an uncle

10. Humectant

j. reflecting light evenly from all surfaces

JULY 15, 2021

1. Avuncular

Answers: 1. I; 2. F; 3. H; 4. B; 5. E; 6. J; 7. A; 8. G; 9. D; 10. C

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

Riddle me This

Yankel and Moshe are strolling along one day ground. He quickly picks it up, and to his amazement, it contains a receipt and $350 in cash. “Would you believe my luck?” he says to Moshe. “I’ve

A hockey team has nine players. Half of them are boys. How is that possible?

just found $350 in a wage packet. It’s my lucky day.” “Let me see the receipt inside the envelope,” says Moshe.

Answer: The team is all boys.

look at the amount of tax you paid!”

Therefore, one half of the

says to Yankel, “I wouldn’t call it lucky. Just

team consists of boys, and

glances at the figures on the receipt, then

so does the other half.

Yankel gives the receipt to Moshe. Moshe

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when Yankel sees a thick-looking envelope on the


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Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

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Shouting “freedom” and other antigovernment slogans, hundreds of Cubans took to the streets in cities around the country on Sunday to protest food and medicine shortages, in a remarkable eruption of discontent not seen in nearly 30 years. - The New York Times reporting on the anti-socialist protests in Cuba, referring to the word “freedom” as an “anti-government slogan”

I was actually a little happy about that because it’s a little easier to roll bowling balls out of the way than to move the sand and figure out where to put all that.

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- David Olson of Detroit talking to the local paper about finding 160 bowling balls buried on his property while he was doing renovations

When I was a child, I dreamed about becoming a lawyer, fighting for the little guy against the Goliaths. For years, I did just that, but then I lost my way. I betrayed my own values, my friends, my family, and myself. I betrayed my profession. I’ve learned that all the fame, notoriety, and money in the world is meaningless. TV and Twitter, Your Honor, mean nothing. Everyone wants to ride in the limo with you, but few want to ride with you on the bus. - Michael Avenatti, the attorney who spent years trying to take down Trump and was on CNN over 200 times in 2019, crying at his sentencing hearing for extorting Nike

Cuba’s problem is not too much socialism, as Republicans would have you believe. It is too much dictatorship.

I hate exercise. - Bonita Gibson, of Michigan, talking to Fox News upon the occasion of her 110th birthday

I was cleaning the house on the Fourth of July when I found the Powerball ticket in a drawer. I checked the numbers and discovered it was a $1 million winner — I’m still in shock! - Kenneth Morgan of Jacksonville, Florida, after claiming his $1 million Powerball prize this week

- Lawrence O’Donnell, MSNBC

The United States came in the name of fighting terrorism to Afghanistan 20 years ago. Did they fight it successfully? Did they fight it honestly? No. Therefore, the United States returning to Afghanistan in the name of fighting extremism, I, as an Afghan, would not welcome that. - Former Afghan President Karzai in a TV interview

Senator, I hope. You think I’m kidding, I’m not. - President Biden upon greeting Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA), age 83, strangely indicating that he wants her to primary one of the two current Democratic senators from California


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Critical race theory is a fairy tale promoted by many — not all, but many of my Democratic colleagues including the Biden White House. Critical race theory teaches that America is totally [irreparable]. We need to just tear it down and start over. Critical race theory teaches that the primary reason that America was founded was to maintain white supremacy. Not freedom. Not rule of law. Not equal opportunity. Not personal responsibility. But white supremacy. – Sen. Kennedy (R-LA), on Fox News

Critical race theory also teaches that nonblack Americans are racist, that they don’t much like black people whether those nonblack Americans realize it or not. That’s why critical race theory also teaches that white children are born bad. It teaches that black children are born trapped, there’s almost no hope for them. It’s a very fatalistic point of view. – Ibid.

In my judgment critical race theory is cynical, ahistorical, sophomoric, insipid, and dumb as a bag of hair.

The message to the people of Haiti is this is a tragic tragedy. - White House press secretary Jen Psaki discussing the assassination of Haitian president

The federal government has spent trillions of dollars to keep Americans alive during this pandemic. So it is absolutely the government’s business. - Health and Human Services Secretary Xavier Becerra on CNN, saying it is the government’s business to know who is vaccinated in the U.S.

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- Ibid.

Because we don’t know who is paying for this art and we don’t know for sure that [Hunter Biden] knows, we have no way of monitoring whether people are buying access to the White House... What these people are paying for is Hunter Biden’s last name. - Walter Shaub, who led the Office of Government Ethics under former President Barack Obama, on plans for Hunter Biden to sell artwork to anonymous buyers

After careful consideration, a system has been established that allows for Hunter Biden to work in his profession within reasonable safeguards. Of course, he has the right to pursue an artistic career just like any child of a president. - White House press secretary Jen Psaki, in response to the Hunter Biden art criticism

MORE QUOTES


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The laptop from [you know where]. You look at that thing, there is more criminal activity on that laptop than Al Capone had if he ever had a laptop. - Former President Donald Trump referring to Hunter Biden’s laptop at a press conference

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That was an unfortunate event. I say, though, however, people are being treated unbelievably unfairly when you look at people in prison, and nothing happens to Antifa, and they burned down cities and killed people. There were no guns in the Capitol except for the gun that killed Ashli Babbitt. - Ibid., talking about the events of January 6th

Good evening, dreamers of all ages. - The new woke pre-recorded greeting for the nightly Disney fireworks show, replacing “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dreamers of all ages”

Empathy is a very important word and also forgiveness. We found that someone did something in 1979 that is now not appropriate. They’re dead to us. – Conan O’Brien, discussing the dangers of cancel culture

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Forgotten Her es

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The IDF’s Powerful Weapons

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By Avi Heiligman

A soldier operating the VIPeR

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A

number of Israeli-developed weapon systems have been in the news lately. Firstly, the Iron Dome was successful in shooting down over 90% of the rockets shot by Hamas and terrorists during the 11-day battle between Israel and Hamas. Then, Israel announced that it successfully tested a high-power laser system in several scenarios. This system is a low-cost, effective defensive weapon that was tested against UAVs (Unmanned Aerial Vehicles or drones), and the plan is to develop it into use against long-range threats. These are just two of the latest weapons in a long list of equipment used by the IDF in research that commenced even before Israel became a country. Early on in Israeli history, the military relied on foreign countries such as France, and then the U.S., for many of the weapons and equipment used by its army. The Israel Military Industries (IMI) began weapons production in 1933 while under the British Mandate. These weapons were manufactured for the Haganah, and after World War II increased production once it became clear that a con-

frontation with the Arab neighbors was bound to happen. They produced their own versions of hand grenades, mines, the American mortar, and the British Sten machine gun with ammunition. After the Israeli War of Independence in 1948, Israeli engineers and inventors began to work on their own weapons. The Uzi was designed by IDF Major Uziel Gal and was first introduced in the 1950s. This submachine gun weighs less than 8 pounds and has a folding open-bolt stock, self-loading system that was first manufactured by IMI. Over 10 million Uzis were built, and 90 countries worldwide have used them at one point or another. Other small arms designed and manufactured in Israel have been used by militaries and police around the globe. The Galil and the Tavor are two rifles that were also manufactured by Israeli companies. The Galil is an automatic rifle that was designed in the 1960s that started to see service in the following decade. It was meant to be a cross between the ruggedness of an AK-47 and the accuracy of the M-16. In 1990, IMI in-

The Merkava IV tank

troduced a semi-automatic pistol, the Jericho 941, and it has been issued to Israeli police and foreign regular military and special forces units. Tanks and fighting vehicles have been integral pieces in the battles and wars fought by the IDF since 1948. Merkava tanks have been a mainstay in the Israeli army since the late 1970s. General Yisrael Tal was had been a soldier in all of Israel’s early wars. During the Yom Kippur War, he astutely pointed out that without American aid the Israeli tactic of a fast tank would have proven a disaster for Israel. All of the tanks on the southern (Egypt) front didn’t have capabilities for a defensive attack on Israel’s borders. As an armored commander, he understood the need for Israel to have the best tanks and took his knowledge to the drawing board. The result was the Merkava that not only would be available for IDF purposes but could also be exported. A recent variant is the Merkava IV, which saw its first action during the 2006 war in Lebanon. Unlike tanks of World War II and the Cold War that were built by the thousands, tanks like the Merkava are produced

in smaller numbers with less than 100 that roll of the production lines a year. Rising costs and the declining need for tanks have given way to armored fighting vehicles. To keep up with newer types of vehicles, the Merkava now can carry three wounded on stretchers and can shoot down helicopters while moving quickly. In addition to its thick armor and other defense mechanisms, Merkava tanks also employ the Rafael Trophy system which can intercept and destroy incoming missiles and rockets. In recent wars, the Trophy system has protected several tanks and their crews from being hit and has saved countless lives. During Operation Protective Edge in 2014, the Trophy system was used dozens of times, and not a single tank equipped with the system was lost. In addition to their large array of UAVs, Israel has developed unmanned ground vehicles as well as unmanned boats. The VIPeR is a robot put out by Elbit Systems that can detect enemy soldiers, IEDs, booby traps, explosives, and other dangers. It is small, lightweight, and has an array of cameras. The VIPeR


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offensive when the need arises. The Protector Unmanned Service Vehicle was developed by Rafael Systems and is a 30-foot rigid, inflatable boat. It was created to meet enemy forces on the water without endangering lives. The Protector can also be used for surveillance and reconnaissance missions as well as anti-mine and electronic warfare operations. It has been used operationally in the Per-

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saved countless lives and will, with G-d’s help, continue to do so in the future.

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

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sian Gulf for peacekeeping missions. From the time Israel became a country until today, the Jewish State has been engaging in the latest technology to better equip the IDF. A lot of the weapons, machinery and other inventions produced in Israel have been sold worldwide. While keeping up with new technology can be very expensive, as we have seen with the Iron Dome, these inventions have

JULY 15, 2021

can be configured to carry a gun with a scope, has a robotic arm, and can disarm explosives. Elbit Systems also produces the Silver Marlin, which is an unmanned boat that can be on a mission for more than a day at a time. Its array of missions includes reconnaissance, search and rescue, protection of personnel, patrol, and assessing damage and can go on the

The Uzi being used by members of the American military

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The unmanned Protector, protecting Israel’s seas


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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters, I have been going out with a wonderful girl several times now and we’re starting to get serious. The problem is I need to disclose a very “scan-

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

dalous/bad” issue within my family. It’s not the usual parents are divorced and don’t talk or siblings off the derech type thing. It is actually very serious and uncommon. Overall, what is the general rule of thumb in terms of how many dates to wait until major issues need to be disclosed? Thank you. Yaakov*

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.


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Know What's Up.

Facebook Amian Frost Kelemer Instagram @talintconsulting

WhatsApp Jenn Email Adziffer

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FOUR WAYS TO WIN $25 TO TOV PIZZA: Follow on Facebook Baltimore Jewish Home Follow us on Instagram @BaltimoreJewishHome WhatsApp “Join” to 443-675-6507 to join our broadcast Text JOINBJH to 22828 to join our email list

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The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Lisa Babich hank you for your question. I think different circles have different “rules” as to when you are “supposed” to share these things. I personally believe in developing an organic relationship with someone. As you feel comfortable and safe and your feelings start to grow, usually you start to open up with the person you are dating. It’s one of the most bonding things you can do as a couple who is getting to know each other and can bring a tremendous amount of closeness and add a lot of depth to the relationship. We all have something to share, and your family background is part of the story that made you who you are. Whoever is going to marry you is going to see you in your entirety. I would suggest that, as you feel safe with her, let her know that there is a part of your story that you want her to know. You can explain how that has shaped you into the person you are today. I think you will be surprised to see that the right one is going to listen to your story with an open and compassionate heart. If you are a good person then she will see that in your vulnerability, and the experience can make you much closer.

T

My first suggestion based on your background is to work with a therapist to make sure you are healthy-husband material. There are too many singles these days who are dating who shouldn’t be. Traumatized, un-workedthrough children become traumatized un-worked-through adults who then become trauma-inducing, un-workedthrough spouses. You should know, I have seen many single men and women get married whose families have had less than stellar backgrounds. If you try hiding it, no matter how one tries to cover up dirt, often the debris linger right below the surface. Your date will know after a while of getting to know you that you are holding back. The true test to your relationship will be opening up about those skeletons in the closet and see if she will embrace your relationship nonetheless. To cross the finish line, you will have to be vulnerable and open up about your background. The time to do this is different for everyone. For the more yeshivish who get engaged very quickly, it might be early on, at about date 4 or 5. For the more modern who date for a while, the right time might be after getting to know each other for a month or so. Tell the girl you are dating when things feel right. Trust me – you will know when your relationship has reached the right time. Hatzlacha with everything!

The Shadchan Michelle Mond

T

hank you for writing in with this question; it is more common than you think. Many people are walking around with untold stories; these are chapters of people’s lives going completely undisclosed. That is, of course, until you bring someone new in. Some may subconsciously not let anyone in, in fear that their secrets will be exposed. Some may get to the finish line and then abruptly end it when anxiety creeps in.

The Single Rivka Weinberg

Y

aakov, this is an extremely important and common question, so thank you for writing in. As we go through life, we need to keep in mind that each person we meet has a story and has overcome specific challenges that make up who he or she is today. Hakadosh Baruch Hu put us all in certain situations and has provided us the tools to navigate them and grow

throughout the process. With that said, when it comes to sharing information about your personal journey, I suggest you speak with your rav or mentor to understand when the appropriate time is to disclose it. Bear in mind that you are being vulnerable, which inherently is overwhelming and scary, but is the key to successfully building a healthy and enduring relationship. Her reaction to you sharing your experiences will say a tremendous amount about her. Does she respond with empathy and ask kind and compassionate questions to try and understand your hardships? Do you feel comforted and heard? Or, is she asking specific unnecessary details about the situation in a judgmental way to get the hock? Listen to your gut and be honest with yourself about how her reply makes you feel. If you are unsettled, remember this is the person you may be spending the rest of your life with, and ultimately there will be curveballs thrown at you in the future, so you are seeing a preview of how she will handle situations going forward. Vulnerability is crucial to building a relationship, so as awkward or uncomfortable as it may be, the benefits certainly outweigh all of the short-term discomfort involved. In general, understanding and accepting that each individual has faced challenges, ranging across various degrees of difficulty, allows for additional possibilities in shidduchim and open doors you did not realize were possible. Of course, it is important and highly recommended to do proper research when looking into a shidduch. However, if the situation does not involve a serious mental or physical health concern that has a large impact, allow the person to tell his or her own story. We understand ourselves best, and should have the opportunity, when appropriate, to properly give over our own story at the proper time. Much hatzlacha to all of those currently in shidduchim and keep in mind that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is The Ultimate Shadchan, so turn to Him for clarity along the way.

Traumatized, unworked-through children become traumatized unworked-through adults who then become traumainducing, unworked-through spouses.

The Zaidy Dr. Jeffrey Galler our letter is a bit short on details, but let’s assume that the “scandal” is more significant than cheating on a 7 th grade algebra test, is not a medical problem, and does not involve you personally. Accordingly, there are three issues to consider regarding this information: first, when should you disclose it; second, how will the other party react to it; and third, how best to present it. First, I asked several marriage professionals when to reveal negative information, and received answers ranging from as early as the third date to as late as a couple of months of dating. It seems to depend upon where you are positioned on our religious spectrum and on what the norms are in your particular community. The best advice would be to ask knowledgeable local rabbis or shadchanim. Revealing it too early might stop a wonderful relationship from ever developing. Revealing it too late can be an unfair, crushing blow to a single, who has already invested much time and emotion in the relationship. Second, you need to prepare for how the young lady will react to this news. If she and her family are the type who are extremely conscious of their social standing and position in the

Y


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ready know about the “scandal.” I secretly hope that she knows about it and is at peace with it. Third, you may wish to explain to her that having this skeleton in your family closet has actually made you a better, stronger person. You have learned and grown from not only the positives but also the negatives in your family history. You may wish to talk about

The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

D

there is often no one right way to about matters of the heart), I feel that I must address shame within shidduchim and the Orthodox (modern and all the way to the right) ideal of the “perfect family.” Many years ago, I was in a medical office waiting room. And these two lovely (and clearly not Orthodox) ladies were chatting. Yes, my son went to rehab for alcohol and cocaine addiction. He had been in and out of jail. And then my husband and I divorced because the pressure was just too much on the marriage. The woman went on and on. And the other woman began sharing about her life. And the two sat in this medical office, speaking audibly, enough for me to hear them. And all I thought was, Wow! Look how beautiful this is! These two women chatting so openly with as much as comfort as talking about a grocery list. And then I thought to myself, What a healing moment! There is no judgment. No shame. When we let out our most pri-

Good luck! Please write to us and let us know how it all turns out.

nothing you can tell that person that will keep her away from you. Nothing. Because if someone is your bashert, then you are already two halves of a whole. And your story is already hers. And hers is yours. When the time is right, you will feel it. And I want you to do it with no fear. No fear. I want everyone to feel good about themselves, their families, where they come from. I want everyone to know that we all have a story. Most of us have family members who embarrass us or have done something shameful, on different scales. This is simply because we are all just human beings. And human beings make mistakes! We are all just having a human experience. And we are all still loveable and worthy. And instead of being taught to hide and feel shameful, in my opinion, we should be taught how loveable we all are. You know that bumper sticker we see on cars everywhere? Hashem loves you! I love that bumper sticker. I love it! It always makes me feel so good whenever I see it. It doesn’t say Hashem loves a part of you. Or, Hashem loves you, but that shameful family member makes Him not love you sometimes. He loves you! Feel good about yourself, Yaakov. If she is the one, she won’t let you go because of something scandalous a family member did. And it’s as simple as that. Sincerely, Jennifer

Jennifer Mann, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and dating and relationship coach working with individuals, couples, and families in private practice at 123 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst, NY. She also teaches a psychology course at Touro College. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 718-908-0512. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email JenniferMannLCSW@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

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ear Yaakov, Thank you for writing into our column. It can feel so very scary to disclose a very “scandalous/bad” issue within one’s family. And though I don’t know the specific issue, I understand that you are speaking of something that isn’t every-day, something that may make the wonderful girl and/ or her parents choose to walk away from you, even though you had nothing to do with it. It is a family member’s scandal. Not yours. Most human beings experience shame. Most human beings carry secrets; either their own or their family’s – things that if exposed to the public would feel like a death. The fear of being exposed, of being rejected, of someone being disgusted is a lot for a person to cope with. To experience that rejection from someone we love or potentially could imagine ourselves sharing a life with can be too much to handle. Before I give you my personal opinion about this (and it is just that, an opinion...this isn’t a science and

vate thoughts and our deepest pain to a safe person, we heal! We heal! We heal! In certain c o m mu n i t i e s , we simply are not allowed to share because we must seem perfect. And please, please, please... please do not send me any letters or emails telling me this isn’t true because in my line of work I see firsthand how deeply this impacts families and individuals on so many levels and scales in the Orthodox world. People who cannot heal because they risk losing status in shidduchim. The pain is real, and I will be a voice for all of you who suffer privately. I want to tell you that you are human! And that I believe deeply that you are worthy of love, and worthy of getting married, with whatever “secret” you are carrying that has you mistakenly believing you are unloveable. It’s not true! Back to you, Yaakov. We all have secrets. And revealing those secrets, especially in shidduchim is a scary, scary prospect within the manmade shidduch system. You need to truly listen to and trust what I am saying right now. It’s the truth. It is the only thing that makes sense to me, personally, on every level. It is also what I have seen time and time again in my line of work. When it’s the right person, there is

If someone is your bashert, then you are already two halves of a whole.

JULY 15, 2021

Pulling It All Together

what Dr. Viktor Frankl says in his book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” A Holocaust survivor, he decided, after four years in Auschwitz, that despite events that are beyond your control, you can still maintain your freedom to control and choose how you respond to these challenges. Explain that your family background has forged, in you, an ironwilled determination to become an exemplary husband, father, and member of the community.

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community, who can’t allow any perceived blemish upon how they perceive themselves, then there is no hope for your relationship. Let’s hope that they are more open-minded and accepting. By the way, you might be surprised to find that your family’s deep, dark secret is actually more publicly known than you imagine. Today, because a simple Google-type search is very easy to perform, your girlfriend might al-


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Mental Health Corner

The Art of Listening

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JULY 15, 2021

By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman Conversations can be very challenging and intimidating. How do I start the conversation? What should I talk about? What if I am boring the other person? Incredibly, you are often better off talking less and listening more. When we listen, we are providing our conversation partner a chance to be heard. Chazal already have taught us the value of being quiet, which includes the art of listening. “If a word is worth one sela (a silver coin), silence is worth two” (Megillah 18a). “What should be a person’s occupation in this world? He should render himself silent as a mute” (Chullin 89a). “A safeguarding fence around wisdom is silence” (Avos 3:16). The incredible power of listening was demonstrated by a computer program called ELIZA. In 1966, a computer scientist in MIT named Joseph Weizenbaum, developed a computer program called ELIZA that was designed to have a conversation with a human being. At that time, personal computers were still a decade away, and

computers as we know them were not even science fiction. As such, the program was very limited and was only able to reflect back on what it was told and create an illusion of understanding. Weizenbaum created the ELIZA program to demonstrate the superficiality of communication with a machine, but he was shocked to discover that many people developed human-like feelings to the computer. His own secretary once famously asked him to leave the room so that she can have a private conversation with ELIZA. Here is an example of a conversation between ELIZA and a person. ELIZA: Please tell me what’s been bothering you. PERSON: I am sad. ELIZA: I’m sure it’s not pleasant to be sad. PERSON: It is not. ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue. PERSON: I get really sad in the winter.

ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that? PERSON: The days are short and it gets dark very early. This makes me feel sad. ELIZA: Possibly, they are short and it gets dark very early. PERSON: Right. ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you? PERSON: It makes me feel better. ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue. As you can see, ELIZA is merely reflecting back what was said and asking you to say more. Even without any intelligence whatsoever, people still feel satisfied by being able to talk about what is on their mind. We can glean a similar lesson from famous studies performed by Harvard researchers to measure how people feel when talking about themselves. In one study, they hooked up people to brain scans and asked them a variety of questions. They discovered that when people talked about themselves, the parts of the brain that are

associated with reward lit up. In another study, the participants were offered various amounts of money based on whether they wanted to answer questions about themselves, others, or a neutral topic. The results consistently showed that people were willing to receive a lower monetary compensation in return for having the opportunity to talk about themselves. People are not simply haughty narcissists, rather we all have a need to feel heard and understood. Whether it is a spouse, a friend, or just someone you met in the doctor’s waiting room, when you listen you are helping. This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@ reliefhelp.org

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

In The K

tchen

General Tso’s Salmon By Naomi Nachman

This is an updated recipe for General Tso’s chicken, but

instead of using chicken, we use fish. It is much lighter in calories. To make it even lighter, you can first batter the fish and then bake it for 25 minutes at 350�F (instead of frying it)� then continue with the rest of the recipe.

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

Ingredients

b ½ cup flour b 3 large eggs, whisked b 1 cup panko crumbs b ¼ cup vegetable oil b 1 ½ pounds salmon, cubed b 1/3 cup soy sauce b 1 cup apricot jam b 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar b¼ cup brown sugar b 4 garlic cloves, minced b ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)

Preparation

4.

1.

5. In the same skillet, wipe out excess oil, and on medium flame, add soy sauce, apricot jam, and balsamic vinegar, brown sugar, and garlic. Stir sauce together. Add the fish back in the pan and toss with sauce and cook on low for 10 minutes.

Set up three bowls. Place flour in one bowl, eggs in a second bowl, and crumbs in a third bowl.

2. Pat fish dry with paper towels. Working in batches, dredge fish in flour, then eggs, and then crumbs. 3. Then place on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper.

In a large sauté pan, working in batches, fry the fish on all sides, drain on a paper towel and set aside.

6. Remove from the pan to a platter and sprinkle with scallions. 7. Serve with rice.

Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.


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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

70

Your

Money

JULY 15, 2021

Pure Imagination

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

By Allan Rolnick, CPA

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

F

ifty years ago on June 30, Paramount Pictures released an enchanting spun-sugar delight of a movie that remains a classic. Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory features Gene Wilder as the reclusive confectioner who hides five Golden Tickets in his candy bars and promises the finders a tour of his mysterious factory and a lifetime supply of chocolate. It’s a magic ride down a river of chocolate, set to music that snagged an Oscar nomination for Best Original Score. They say there’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I think we can all agree that Wonka just obliterates it. It takes a genius to stock a candy store with the likes of Squelchy Snorters, Gelatin Frogs, and Scrumpdiddlyumtious bars. But only a madman could look at that ouevre and think, “No, what I really need is some threecourse-meal gum, fizzy lifting drink, and flavored wallpaper you can lick.” (The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!) Sadly, though, Wonka’s genius doesn’t translate to tax planning. As the glass Wonkavator screams into the sky, carrying Wonka, Charlie Bucket, and Grandpa Joe high above the town, Wonka explains that he staged the entire contest to find someone worthy

enough to take over the factory when he retires. (It’s scary to think what a guy like Wonka could do in retirement when he has even more time to putter around in the kitchen.) Lucky Charlie doesn’t just win a lifetime supply of chocolate — he wins the factory that makes it! Here’s the problem. It has to do with

your gift. And you’d be right! But it still means paying more. However, if Wonka waits to bequeath the factory to Charlie at his death, Charlie gets something called “stepped-up basis.” That means if he sells, his basis is the factory’s fair-market value as of the date of Wonka’s death. That lets Charlie avoid tax on

Only a madman could look at that ouevre and think, “No, what I really need is some threecourse-meal gum, fizzy lifting drink, and flavored wallpaper you can lick.”

something called “basis,” and it’s boring to explain. We all know that when you give someone a gift, it’s gauche for them to sell it. But if they do, when it comes time to pay tax on their gain, they don’t get to start with what it was worth when you gave it to them. They have to use something called “carryover basis” — the amount you would have used if you had sold it. Now, you can say it serves them right for selling

the gains during Wonka’s lifetime entirely! Let’s not forget transfer tax considerations. If Wonka gives the factory to Charlie, there’s gift tax due now — but he avoids transfer tax on future appreciation. If he bequeaths it, there’s an estate tax payable. Wonka appears young and healthy — Wilder was just 37 when he filmed the part — so maybe an irrevocable life insurance trust

makes sense. (The Princess Bride’s Dread Pirate Roberts solved a similar problem by creating what was essentially a “dynasty trust” for his title.) The movie leaves a couple of other important questions unanswered. We know that Wonka paid the Oompa-Loompas with cocoa beans. What are the Section 83(b) consequences of fluctuating commodity prices? And what demented Hollywood producer woke up one morning in 2005 thinking, “Let’s remake the whole thing, but with Johnny Depp as a really creepy Wonka”? At this point, you may be wondering why we’re spoiling childhood memories with boring tax talk. (At least we’re not fat-shaming Augustus Gloop.) But there’s a real lesson here. Someday you might want to sell your chocolate factory, too, whether you inherited it, won it, or built it with your own two hands. When that day comes, we’ve got all sorts of tasty recipes for keeping your gains away from the Slugworths at the IRS!

Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.


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