THE LIES WE TELL
AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN 10K MONTHS
THEY'RE CALLING YOU THE GIFT OF CONFIDENCE
FREE INSIDE!! Issue #6 | DECEMBER 15 2018
what's it about Badassery Unleashed Magazine by Laura Francis is all about you, the entrepreneur, the spiritual, the creative, the visionary, the leader: it’s about your message, your desires, your passion and your purpose. It's about... Owning your truth, tapping into your internal power and unleashing your YOUness onto the world. Growth and expansion and creating the business and mindset that allow you be: ✔Unfiltered ✔Unrelenting ✔Unapologetic Disrupting the social norms and questioning how things are done and what people believe. Living your life fully expressed, on your terms and by your rules. And having loads of fun while doing so. Badassery Unleashed Magazine is about blazing your own trail in business and life; abandoning antiquated systems and enjoying the abundant, aligned and fully expressed life you were born for. Created by Laura Francis – who is on a mission to inspire and empower you to tap into your hidden potential, align with your higher self and create massive change – she’s here to disrupt social norms and challenge age-old systems and what people believe true and possible, as she fully embodies her powerful message. Inside you’ll find a mixture of inspirational success stories, business blueprints and strategies, wealth mindset practices and exclusive access to offers, FREE trainings, behind the scenes into Laura’s world, mindset, spirituality, alignment, manifestation, entrepreneurship and all that it entails.
editors notes As 2018 closes out and we prepare to celebrate Christmas, the years end and New Year 2019 with our loved ones, friends and clients, I can't help but reflect on the year that has been. This has been an epic year for me personally. I have many things off my goals list including:
Collaborations that build brand & message awareness/credibility Creating - and selling out - more digital courses and products. Working at a higher level with my private clients Working with a money mindset coach Blowing up my sales and income (again) Hiring new team members to support me and my clients Launching an online magazine (yep, this kick-ass publication) Launching the Badassery Unleashed Podcast A deeper level mindset & spirituality expansion & expression Buying my dream home in the Gold Coast Hinterland Falling more and more into Self & Soul Deeping my love connection with my Soulmate partner, Dan Reconnecting with my estranged daughter I want to take this opportunity to thank you for your support and being by my side on this amazing journey throughout 2018. Honestly, I have so much to be grateful for and I am so happy and excited for what the new year holds for me... It has to be said that I have BIG fucking plans & am setting expansive intentions for 2019. And I trust that you too are rounding out the year on a high! Wishing you and yours a badass AF Christmas and New Year - stay happy, safe and well. Until next year... Remember... You have one life. Hit the fuckin' button!
editor in-chief
editor laura francis
click to subscribe special thanks to this Issue's Contributing & Featured Badasses rachel dunn marc mawhinney michelle catanach dani strong victoria mantzoros arthie moore stacey hancock m.j. robertson ari powell kathleen fraser: the astrology seer
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Be - don't try to become.
8 17
what's inside
4 tips for staying CLEAR, CALM and TRUE to YOU raising boys: how we're LETTING THEM DOWN and what we can do about it
23 the HIDDEN FACES of "Flow" 36 DAILY EMAILS? are you crazy?!?
44
59 how do I MAKE VIDEOS with impact? the 4 LIES keeping you 66 from CREATING A BODY you love 74 better marriage, better business: the ART of an APOLOGY (Part two)
SECRETS REVEALED - Laura Francis
Our editor gets real, raw & unapologetic as fuck. Spilling the beans on guilt, shame and more!
43
83 IGNITE your VITALITY for 2019 95 the GLASS CEILING effect 101 traditional GOALSETTING DOESN'T WORK for women
FREE GIFT
BELIEVE AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!!
Our editor gets real. raw. unapologetic as fuck. Spilling the beans on guilt, shame and so much more!!
89
KATHLEEN FRASER: THE ASTROLOGY SEER the NEW YEAR has ALREADY begun
Audio Badassery: “A podcast so badass that it not only impacts, empowers and influences but gives you actionable insights you can implement immediately so you can get more leads, attract more soulmate clients, convert more sales and make more money – on your terms and by your rules!”
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4 tips for staying CLEAR, CALM and TRUE to YOU by: m.j. robertson In the words of Ferris Bueller, “life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” I grew up watching Ferris Bueller and still love the film today. I’ve been called idealistic, unrealistic, been laughed at and belittled most of my life. “You’re too sensitive”, “you need to get with the real world”, “you’re gonna have to sacrifice your principles to make money” and the lame advice continued. Did I listen? No. Eventually, I just stopped talking about my dreams to most people and inwardly focused on being me. I ventured deep. I learned, studied, trained, healed, grew and then started creating and living my dreams, fearlessly. You see, often what holds us back is too much talk and not enough action (and by action I do mean the practice of meditation, a sort of active, non-action). We can keep repeating the inspirational quotes all we like, but at some point we have to actually do it.
4 tips for staying CLEAR, CALM and TRUE to YOU
STOP. Look around. Take a breath. Slow down. Calm down. Get clear and then, just be who you want to be. Simples. Hehe. I know, we are all good at talking, but truth is, we resist doing “the work” and that resistance (in the form of lame advice, excuses, complaining, worrying, etc.) is really what keeps us stuck in miserable, mediocre, stressful patterns. Thing is, we are so much more powerful than we were taught to believe, and the majority of us were not equipped with the proper tools to make good use of that power. Fortunately, we are learning, slowly but surely, we are waking up and making the necessary changes, so that we can be happier, healthier humans. Here’s some top tips, from both personal experience and working with clients. Doing these four things regularly will help you get and stay clear, calm and true to you. Boo-yah!
Step 1. Sit Yo Ass Down and BE Quiet (a.k.a. Meditation) It’s that simple really. We make a million excuses to NOT do it, but it really is the most effective way to get calm and clear. If it helps, buy stuff, like meditation cushions, incense, crystals, etc. Pretty things that make your little “me time” space special - it’ll help. Like the saying goes, “build it, and they shall come”. Well, in the case of your meditation station, if you build it, you are more likely to sit in it. Once you start sitting down, commit. Sit down everyday, if possible. It takes a little practice, maybe even years to master your meditation practice, but anyone can do it. And here again, same recommendation, shop around. There are infinite guided meditations on the internet that are free. You can go on retreats, attend classes or workshops and there’s plenty of books on the subject. Ultimately, this whole game is about you getting to know yourself and a consistent meditation practice will lead you there, you just gotta do it and stick at it. How to meditate?
4 tips for staying CLEAR, CALM and TRUE to YOU
'... THIS WHOLE GAME IS ABOUT YOU GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF AND A CONSISTENT MEDITATION PRACTICE WILL LEAD YOU THERE...'
A very basic guide: Sit down. Get comfy, with a relatively straight spine and relaxed body. Close your eyes and begin to focus on your breath. Just pay attention. Notice the thoughts, sensations, feelings and be a silent witness to it all. Most people notice a difference in their lives when they stick to a meditation practice. Greater calm, mental clarity and peace. Definitely onto a winner here! So, give it a try and whether you are new to it, or a long time meditator, my sincerest offering, is to just keep at it. Drop in. Tune into you. You’ll thank yourself.
4 tips for staying CLEAR, CALM and TRUE to YOU
Step 2. Stop Watching TV This is a biggie. The media we consume…everywhere, television, newspapers, radio, magazines, social media, billboards, internet, etc. It is having an impact on us. There are wildly awesome, progressive advantages to it all, however, during this critical time of global, socio-economic and environmental change, we need to become clear and FAST. It is not enough to just sit and meditate for twenty minutes because someone told you it was good for you. The purpose of meditation or any of the self-help, spiritual information out there, is that we want to feel better, more alive and more connected… um, so that we don’t destroy the planet. The best way to get there is to address the prime “zappers” of life-force, one being the amount of media we consume, and of course, the quality of content. What are we really engaging with when we interface with any media stream? Information. Everything we are is in a perpetual, ecstatic energetic exchange and dance. There is a lot of amazing, inspirational, diverse entertainment, which is wonderful and we can appreciate it immensely. However, we mustn’t fall prey to blindly or unconsciously consuming information that stresses us out, makes us fearful, worried, feel bad about ourselves and hate one another. When you really start to pay attention, you’ll start to become more aware of how media makes you feel and if it makes you feel bad in any way, you can UNPLUG. Benefits of unplugging: More free time to do other fun stuff, like being creative, hanging with loved ones and practicing meditation. Increased mental clarity. More positive encounters. Increased sense of positivity and abundance. Greater feeling of calm and connectedness, which also applies to feeling more connected to nature, because people who tend to engage less with media, spend more time outside.
' ... T HIS WHO L E GAM E IS A BOUT YOU GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF AND A CONSISTENT MEDITATION PRACTICE WILL LEAD YOU THERE...'
4 tips for staying CLEAR, CALM and TRUE to YOU
You deserve to feel comfortable and at ease in your own skin. Everyone does. Unplugging from all mainstream media is a great way to get there. Today, we are blessed with fantastic alternatives, like Netflix, for example, that doesn’t use advertising and showcases informative documentaries and brilliant programmes. In short: It’s not about burying your head in the sand or banning all media. It is about being more selective with what you are watching and how it makes you feel. Curious, intrigued, joyful, hopeful, inspired, empowered = good feelings. Keep watching! Fear, worry, stress, hopelessness, loneliness, anxiety = not so good feelings. Stop watching!
'WHEN YOU REALLY START TO PAY ATTENTION, YOU’LL START TO BECOME MORE AWARE OF HOW MEDIA MAKES YOU FEEL AND IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BAD IN ANY WAY, YOU CAN UNPLUG.'
4 tips for staying CLEAR, CALM and TRUE to YOU
Step 3. Play (Creativity and Unique Expression) Practicing step 1. and 2. will assist with this step. PLAY! Once you create more calm with meditation and gain greater clarity by unplugging, you’ll want to go further and access a deeper sense of joy with play and/or creative expression. A big part of this is about lightening up vs. staying stuck in heavy, stressful patterns. Getting to this lighter place, is a continual choosing on your part to consciously create more good-hearted, belly-laughs, timeless fun in your life. Take time off for adventures, make time for snuggling by the fire, playing games, painting, dancing, whatever it is, you must enjoy it and enjoy enjoying it! Just play. Like kids do. Forget about all your problems for moments at a time and watch how your problems transform into a life filled with more fun, creativity and expansion. If you’re feeling bold, it is really great to share your creativity with others. Who knows? You might just inspire others to play more too!
Step 4. Chillin’: The Art of Doing Nothing (a.k.a. relaaaax) I know. Life is weird, intense, mysterious and at times, seemingly relentless. If life seems out of control and the world seems to be getting faster and more chaotic, then the most impactful, non-violent direct action is to…wait for it…chill. In a very real, luxurious, down-to-earth way.
Stay in bed all day. Go outside and get your feet dirty. Heck, get your whole body dirty. Do stuff just for you, that is quiet and reflective. There’s the more obvious options, like going to a
'... THIS WHOLE GAME IS ABOUT YOU GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF AND A CONSISTENT MEDITATION PRACTICE WILL LEAD YOU THERE...'
4 tips for staying CLEAR, CALM and TRUE to YOU
restorative yoga class, taking a leisurely walk in nature, soaking in an aromatherapy bath or having a massage. But there are an increasing amount of different therapies like, floatation and gong bath meditation that are designed to help the body and mind relax deeply. Another easy option is to lie down and listen to relaxing music, or one of my personal favourites, “healing frequencies” on YouTube, of which there are many wonderful sounds to enjoy. Our bodies are healthiest when we are relaxed. That’s why doctors “prescribe” rest to any patient going through a healing process. Relaxing allows us to get more in tune with nature, which is healthier for us (imagine that) because our nature is in alignment with Earth’s nature. Cyclical. Peaceful. Exquisite. Magnificent. Wild. Divine. You are free to relax and enjoy the ride. There you have it. Four things, that if you do daily, will help you get and stay clear, calm and true to you.
'...WATCH HOW YOUR PROBLEMS TRANSFORM INTO A LIFE FILLED WITH MORE FUN, CREATIVITY AND EXPANSION.' M.J. Robertson - Spirituality, Sustainability, Freedom Born in Chatham, Ontario, Canada, M.J. left home after having a series of spontaneous spiritual awakenings while studying at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. She's been intuitively guided by her intention to create a new paradigm on Earth; the fearless life. M.J. is founder of All To Love, a speaker and author of "The Fearless Life Guide: An All To Love Project". She has been practicing yoga for over twenty years and teaching yoga/meditation since 2008. She considers yoga to be one of the most powerful tools for creating positive change and transformation. Having personally experienced the transformational power of love, it is with a sincere and compassionate heart that she shares her message with the world.
Stay in touch with M.J. Robertson here:
affirmation of the month
When I am In full alignment with my message, my art and with my purpose... everything falls into place and money flows to me with ease and grace.
If you don’t know your purpose. You don’t know your message. Therefore you don’t know who your soulmate client is. And they’ll never find you.
raising boys: how we're LETTING THEM DOWN and what we can do about it by: michelle catanach I was at at the monkey bars in a playground the other day with my daughter while a 5-year old and his dad were waiting in line. The bars were very high and at the first rung the boy clearly had a change of heart and wanted to get back down, his father visibly annoyed and disapproving as he retorted: “Even that girl can do it”. Clearly his tiny human’s “unmanliness” was too much for his own fragile masculinity. This is just one example of the many rules of masculinity we culturally impose on our boys through years of BS programming that has stripped them of empathy, masked their sensitivity and put a wall around their otherwise tender heart. They’re told to “man up”, “be a big boy”, shamed for expressing their emotions and told repeatedly from a very young age that “boys don’t cry”. As a result, many boys have grown into adolescents feeling lost, disconnected and unsure of who they’re meant to be in this world, and then adults with low self-esteem and
raising boys: how we're LETTING THEM DOWN and what we can do about it
mental ill-health, suppressing their emotions and only learning unhealthy expressions of anger, often manifesting as addiction and/or violence towards other men, women and – ultimately – themselves. Perhaps no coincidence that suicide is significantly higher in men than women. [“Not all men” I hear you cry. No. Not all men. But let’s not put our heads in the sand any longer]. Much of what we know about gender difference has now been proven to be based on inaccurate, biased and inconclusive research (check out Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine), while advances in neuroscience have shown that male and female brains are not as different as first assumed. We could also argue, perhaps a little controversially, that a lot of what we assume to be nature for either gender could actually be nurture, deeply entrenched in our psyche and imprinted in our DNA because of generations - millennia - of unconscious programming. The simple truth is this: we are letting our boys down. We are in the midst of a mental health crisis and our male population, in particular, are suffering. And social conditioning has a LOT to do with it.
' TH EY’ R E T O LD TO “MAN U P” , “ B E A BI G BOY” , SH A MED F OR EXP RE SSI NG T HE I R EMO TIO NS AN D TOLD REP EAT EDLY F RO M A V ER Y YO UN G A GE T H AT “BOYS DO N’ T CRY ”.'
raising boys: how we're LETTING THEM DOWN and what we can do about it
The good news is, it’s not too late. We can turn things around. If you have a son, here are some ways to support him into adulthood: 1)
Boys are human too. Which means they come with a full spectrum of emotions that need to be expressed like any other (read: female) human. Emotions do not come with a gender bias, they are HUMAN emotions intended to be expressed by all. And guess what…come closer, shocking revelation coming...boys DO cry. In the same way that women fart, enjoy no-strings sex and masturbate. Allow your son the full expression of his emotions. Let him know it’s safe to do so. Validate his experience, even if it triggers something within you. And let him cry.
It’s a very powerful release. In short: Denying a boy his emotions is denying him his humanity and the opportunity to grow into a healthy, functioning adult.
2)
Explore your own unconscious beliefs about masculinity.
What does “being a man” mean to you? Where did that idea come from? Is it even true? In what ways are you imposing your beliefs onto your children? If you have girls and boys, in what ways are you treating them differently? How do your expectations differ? If your son is expressing “feminine” behaviour, what is it about it that bothers you? How permissive are you of your son’s behaviour because “boys will be boys”? And how dismissive are you of his emotions?
3)
Allow your son to explore his gender identity and express himself in a way that feels authentic to him. There’s nothing more shackling, harmful and soul-destroying than denying who you are...and certainly nothing more mentally debilitating than a lifetime of living a lie. Gender is not black and white, there is lots of nuance and fluidity in between and it is up to your child to decide where they sit. Challenge your own beliefs about gender stereotypes particularly around the tangibles such as clothes and toys, and anything that has been cleverly marketed towards boys or girls. Contrary to popular ignorance, giving children more choice and freedom to breakaway from gender stereotypes e.g. wearing “girls” clothes and colours, doesn’t
raising boys: how we're LETTING THEM DOWN and what we can do about it
create gender dysmorphia; forcing them into a mould that feels inauthentic and unnatural to them is far more likely to. And ask yourself: in what ways are YOU being inauthentic and why?
(BTW, did you know that pink was originally considered a male colour? No? Well now you do).
4)
Keep the lines of communication open, especially when your son goes through adolescence. He may push you away, assert independence (which is okay and a completely normal part of development) but he needs to know that you’re available when he needs you. And when he comes to you, let him talk. Don’t try to fix him. Listen. This is the time to put your own ego and judgement aside and be the parent (and sounding-board) he needs you to be. Women, in particular, have a tendency to fix and rescue; this is when we need to keep our ears and heart open and mouth shut.
'... S HOCK IN G R EVELA TI ON COMING... BOY S DO CRY. IN THE SAME WAY TH AT WOME N FA R T , ENJ OY NO-S TRINGS S EX A ND MAS T UR BATE .' 5) Embrace and accept your son no matter what. His sensitivity. His boisterousness. His gentleness. His cheekiness. Whatever your child’s constitution and personality, even if he doesn’t seem to fit the mould of what culture dictates is boyish and masculine, love and accept him exactly as is. After all, it isn’t your child that needs to change, it’s culture and societal attitudes. And the more we embrace our child’s uniqueness and authenticity, the more likely culture will change. There are nearly 8 billion people on the planet. That’s 8 billion unique souls and personalities having their own unique human experience. So ask yourself: why are we forcing them into a single one-dimensional mould? Accept him. Love him. Support him. Respect his autonomy and the path that HE is on without forcing your own agenda (or fears) onto him.
raising boys: how we're LETTING THEM DOWN and what we can do about it
Making “feminine” choices will not emasculate him. A stay-at-home dad, for example, is not less of a man. Emasculation is, after all, a notion born from gender stereotyping.is not less of a man. Emasculation is, after all, a notion born from gender stereotyping.
6)
Teach consent from day dot. While we can’t expect children to understand right away as they are constantly learning and trying to make sense of the world through their unique lens, it’s imperative that we lay the foundation as early as possible. And consent isn’t only about sex. Ensure that your interactions with your child are respectful and consensual e.g. asking if they want you to pick them up if they fall over, asking if they want you to help them off the climbing frame, respecting when they say no, telling them that you’re about to change their nappy instead of simply going ahead and doing it. Teach them to read body language and non-verbal cues when a ‘no’ cannot be verbalised. If we are to move away from an over-entitled, non-consensual culture it starts with our boys and WE have a responsibility to educate them.
And lastly… Let your son know that he is worthy simply for being born. He doesn’t need to do anything to prove his worth. He is loved and lovable however he chooses to express himself or live his life.
Michelle Catanach - Author, Artist & Creative Coach
Michelle is on a mission to end violence against women and children. She helps people of all ages find their voice using the power of art and writing as tools for healing, activism and authentic self-expression.
She is also the founder of Uncaged Online, a self-publishing platform to help emerging thought-leaders, rebels and paradigm shifters change the world with their words. Uncaged: The Rise of the Badass and Boys Do Cry are available on Amazon.
Stay in touch with Michelle Catanach here:
journal prompt of the month
If I were living my life full out as the next level version of me, what thoughts and beliefs that I hold now would I need to release? What habits, behaviours and actions would I have to let go of so that I can trust that I am are fully deserving of stepping into that next level version of me?
the HIDDEN FACES of “Flow” by: stacey hancock Oh boy, this week has been a little tough. One of my team continues to miss deadlines and present semi-completed work. This week I lost my shit about it. Not only did I lose my shit, I lost it on camera as I “attempted” to film yet another calm and rational feedback video to help him out. (… there have been MANY of these, all slowly eating away at my time and sanity) But there was no calm and rational flow on this one. 90 seconds into the video I broke down over the stress of it all and declared out loud to the screen “fuck it, you can have THIS feedback video”. I promptly hit stop, uploaded it, and through the snot, tears, and angst I hit send. I couldn’t have cared less if that video prompted him to quit. In fact, the fact that I got SO upset was a warning sign, for me. But it wasn’t just a warning sign. Goodness me, no – it was even greater than that! It was a divinely guided message from my higher self, and it told me many things I needed to know.
the HIDDEN FACES of “Flow”
I’ll get to the generic “how this all applies to you” point in a while, but for now – a little more background story so this all makes visceral sense. Now, when it comes to staff, and this person in particular, I am more than happy to acknowledge that he (or anyone) may not be at the level I’m at. In fact, they may never be. I’m considered one of the top performers in my field, globally. Of course, there are certain responsibilities that come with that, and one of those is realizing you’re either going to have to be very fucking lucky finding your clone of a team member, or accept that you will be doing a lot of coaching. So that’s what I did, I took ALL the responsibility and dived into the trenches with him. Anything I could do to bring him up to speed, I’d do it. I asked for his feedback and it seemed there was always a way I could improve on how I wrote each research brief for him. I accepted it – because ego-less learning is a valuable skill to practice. And I wanted to practice it, because if I expanded even further, I would of course need to learn how to direct my staff to optimal productivity. It cost me a lot of time, but I felt ok about it. I could see that my time investment would pay off. Or, so I thought. My own deadlines were becoming tardy. Fuck. My stress levels were elevating. I wasn’t feeling great about my own work And, I wasn’t being as creative as I am at a soul level – and that hurt. Because I didn’t expect, 10 weeks later to still be babysitting and dealing with him missing deadlines. Jesus, if we can’t get beyond the “meet a fucking deadline” stage at 10 weeks into the game, we’re not going to get very far with the whole performance thing, are we? But I didn’t realize that. I had become quite blinded by the fact that I had to be a “good boss”. I was blinded by the “fear” of letting him go too soon, before he had found his feet, so I kept hanging in there – even though I was feeling the strain.
' IT WAS A D I VIN ELY G UI DED MESS AGE FR OM MY H IG HER SE LF, AN D IT TO LD M E MA N Y THI NG S I NE EDE D T O K NOW.'
the HIDDEN FACES of “Flow” … But on this particular day, the day where I finally felt the stress weighing on me, through the snot and tears I woke up to the situation, I had to let him go. And when I melted down in that 90-second video I was in FULL flow. No longer fighting the situation, I let the pain flow, and it was there I found my answers. Dear fellow badasses, there was no electric body tingling wave that coursed through my veins telling me I was on the "right path". There was no feel-good journaling, There was no giggly “open myself up and fuck the universe sexual energy” wafting out of my sacral chakra with butterflies and rainbows in tow. There was none of that. But make no mistake, I was in total flow. You know, the stuff that we’re often taught to seek, as a way of seeing our own guiding light. “IF IT FEELS GOOD, IF IT GIVES YOU TINGLES IT MUST BE DIVINELY GUIDED AND RIGHT AND FULLY IN FLOW!!” Wrong. It felt sad, angry, guilty and annoying. I felt like I had let myself down, and my trusting clients. How on earth had I arrived a stage where I, myself was missing deadlines? And although I felt the stress,
I hadn’t NOTICED how painful this whole ‘staff thing’ really was. None of it mattered, because out of the flow of tears a new flow of action was unfolding. The flow of tears made me finally notice. And, in spite of those feelings, it still felt ‘right’, it still felt divinely guided, and it still felt like unimpeded flow.
'... THERE WAS NO ELECTRIC BODY TINGLING WAVE THAT COURSED THROUGH MY VEINS TELLING ME I WAS ON THE "RIGHT PATH"...'
the HIDDEN FACES of “Flow”
Do You Wake Up Each Day Expecting (… or at the very least, hoping) To Bring The Fizz, Fun and Light With The Flow? I’m all for light, body tingling flow. It feels WONDERFUL! And this article is not an attack at people who teach it, because it’s 100% valid. I personally learned a lot about what flow is from many of these teachers. This is about understanding what flow feels like in all its forms, and why that is important to recognize. Imagine for a minute, you wake up… do your morning routine (or not, I don’t), and you hit your workday with some degree of “expected” enthusiasm. But for some reason unknown to you right now, you just can’t find that ‘happy place’. Perhaps you’re agitated, perhaps you’re anxious, or perhaps you’re just feeling a bit meh. You just don’t feel in “flow” or soul aligned. The first thing badass entrepreneurial women like us do, typically, is to label it. “I’m just not in flow today”… “I’m a bad [entrepreneur / mom / wife]” “It’s just that damn [moon / mercury retrograde / time of the month]. But what if you could just drop into two fundamental truths that… Flow is not an integral piece to achieving success And, sometimes flow feels like utter shit
'I WAS BLINDED BY THE “FEAR” OF LETTING HIM GO TOO SOON, BEFORE HE HAD FOUND HIS FEET, SO I KEPT HANGING IN THERE – EVEN THOUGH I WAS FEELING THE STRAIN.'
the HIDDEN FACES of “Flow”
Flow Can Feel Like A Flow of Shit, And It’s a Good Thing! Think about it. A good authentic “ugly cry” is complete flow, right? You can’t stop it, no one can console you, and you’re gonna cry until all the fucking crying is done. That’s flow baby. In it’s raw, true, powerful form. Unforced, and without expectation of how it’s supposed to feel. But there’s a next step too… … Finding the message / meaning / healing in it all. Because you see, when we go into these ‘uncomfortable’ flow states, us badasses tend to label / judge and berate. Because, we’re supposed to be all strong n shit, right? We fail to see this flow of negative emotions also has a story to share! And when we take the time to listen we can hear it. And yes, you can listen through the snot, tears and anger to discover “Where am I being divinely guided?” Just like I did. I flowed my stress all over that video; it was real, raw “shitty flow”. And because I was able finally hear all the pain, stress and fear I was feeling – I was able to then make a rational business decision to serve my higher self and my clients. It didn’t feel rational. Remember, I just lost my shit on video. Flow and manifestation and all those other soul-aligned things do not always feel like fizz, sexual energy, or lightness.
So I ask you now, where have you been in flow and not even realized it? Where have you been in this uncomfortable flow and judged yourself too harshly? So harshly, that you couldn’t hear the message within? So harshly, that you couldn’t see it was, in fact, progress in your business, or life.
'WE FAIL TO SEE THIS FLOW OF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ALSO HAS A STORY TO SHARE!'
the HIDDEN FACES of “Flow”
Flow Is NOT Integral To Success Some days, even when we’re living in purpose it feels like a grind. But it’s often taught that if something feels like stress or struggle that it’s somehow “wrong”. Sure, stress and struggle is not the goal, but is it really something that needs to be avoided? Is it something that, when it shows up will ruin success? Fuck no. Stress and struggle is a message. You get to choose if you want to live in this state or not. But berating yourself over not feeling light and ‘in flow’ won’t help you find the answer. Stress and struggle, when you drop into the flow of them (I know that sounds weird), can be incredible growth tools. Let me give you an example. A few weeks ago, I landed a client who runs a multi-billion dollar factory. Those types of numbers seem fucking unreal to me and it feels like a game of monopoly. Somewhere in my subconscious, I had adopted a degree of pressure. This is their big break into turning their mega factory into a global retail brand (gulp), they were looking to me for a little
the HIDDEN FACES of “Flow”
guidance on positioning and overall messaging, and I wanted to make sure I retained the contract long term. So instead of dropping into writing flow like I normally would – I labored over every line, every claim, every feature, and every benefit…
… Every. Damn. Word. I finished the initial work and felt like shit. Zero flow. All stress. But it doesn’t mean that I should avoid these types of clients. Fuck no, bring MORE of them on! This level of discomfort brings expansion. Of course, I don’t need EVERY client to be this anxiety making, but labeling each one “out of flow and out of alignment and I should never have taken them on” is crazy. I flowed with the stress of it all. Ladies, this is part of the work. Not every job or call is going to feel good to you. Some days, you’re going to feel like a total fraud. You’re going to feel not good enough. Some meetings feel like you got nowhere. You’re even going to have times where feel like you don’t deserve a particular client.
But from it, you take the learning and the meaning. Learn to do it fast (because dropping in and ‘doing the work’ all fucking day long is pointless, action is required too) Flow with the state you’re in, ask questions and course-correct. What learning did I take? As soon as I hit send on the deliverables, I committed to spending whatever time needed to work with my client to make sure they were happy with the direction. I gave my rationale as to why I did it the way I did it, and gave them the space to question and query it, change it – if needed. And this was the client I melted down on video to my researcher about. Because this client, this multi-billion dollar factory, ready to take on the global furniture market… was one of the deadlines I was late on.
'... BECAUSE I WAS ABLE FINALLY HEAR ALL THE PAIN, STRESS AND FEAR I WAS FEELING – I WAS ABLE TO THEN MAKE A RATIONAL BUSINESS DECISION TO SERVE MY HIGHER SELF AND MY CLIENTS.'
the HIDDEN FACES of “Flow”
I also learned, that I must NEVER outsource jobs of this magnitude. And I must schedule them better to give myself more time to really work through their core positioning statements. The insights were dropping like bombs! I was stressed, upset, and angry but in total flow gathering up the insights that had landed. The practiced act of going from stress, to learning, to setting intentions and taking action as fast as your psyche will let you, is flow. And once again, it doesn’t feel like love, light and sparkle farts. But make no mistake, going from stress to solution and then implementing said solution fast, is total and utter flow. Provided you don’t start putting up blocks / beliefs / fears in the way (… a topic for another day). As badass leaders, entrepreneurs, coaches, writers, healers, real estate agents, personal trainers… and all the other badasses I haven’t listed, we must recognize flow in all it’s forms, and how it can also feel – because when we finally see all these other ways that flow can present itself, we can start to use it for growth! Are you crying every damn day? Good! What learning, intentions and action do you NOW need to take?
the HIDDEN FACES of “Flow”
Join your flow of tears, drop in deep, and listen. … then give yourself a high five for being in flow (instead of beating yourself up because you feel like shit and not in some state of light, heady flow).
So, What Is Flow State? I used to think that being in flow was some magical place that only the highest level, most consciously aware people could attain. I used to experience small pockets of “light and sparkles”, believing that was what flow felt like. And it makes sense I was blinded by that – because the definition of flow (according to Wikipedia) is… “In positive psychology, flow, also known colloquially as being in the zone, is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.” Well, that’s all well and good – but life doesn’t work like that now does it. It’s not all positivity, and it’s not all enjoyment. And feeling fully engaged does NOT always equate to feeling fully happy. That snotty video I recorded… I was in the motherfucking zone! I was immersed, I was energized AF! I was fully involved.
'THAT SN OTTY VIDEO I RECORDED… I WAS IN THE MOTHERFUCKING ZONE! I WAS IMMERSED, I WAS ENERGIZED AF!.'
the HIDDEN FACES of “Flow”
So why do we also have to attach this rule that it feels positive and enjoyable? Who the fuck says? Why can’t it feel like an emotional breakdown? Why can’t it feel like an explosion of anger? If all other things are present (in the zone, immersed, energized, focused … yadayada) … why can’t that also be valid flow? The purpose of flow is flow. If it’s there it’s there… and if it’s not it’s not. And if it feels like you’re losing your mind, go with the flow – see where it guides you! Good feelings or bad feelings… Easy work or hard work… Tingles or not…
Through snot and tears, find YOUR flow and don’t let anyone define it for you as merely just a positive state, because you could be missing pure gold in those flowing states of uncontrollable crying, anger and anxiety.
'I USED TO THINK THAT BEING IN FLOW WAS SOME MAGICAL PLACE THAT ONLY THE HIGHEST LEVEL, MOST CONSCIOUSLY AWARE PEOPLE COULD ATTAIN.' Stacey Hancock- Badass as Fuck Copywriter
Stacey Hancock is a badass Amazon Copywriter. Also known as The Amazon Copy Warrior, she helps products find their voice so they can steal more sales from the competition.
When not writing sales crushing copy you’ll find her shopping for those ‘Made in China’ products she just wrote copy for – because her words are that powerful.
Stay in touch with Stacey Hancock here:
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DAILY EMAILS? are you crazy?!? by: marc mawhinney When people hear that I send daily emails to my list, their eyes bulge out. “Daily?!” they ask, thinking that they must have misheard me. It sounds crazy, I know. And there was a time a few years ago that I had the same reaction about daily emails. Back in the spring of 2016, I had been emailing my list for a couple of years with little to show for results. I was doing what most entrepreneurs do with emails – I was sending them inconsistently, usually once a week or so. And my emails were boring. I was holding back out of fear of offending anyone. I was playing in “The Mushy Middle” and using the same Internet Marketing lingo that others used in their emails.
DAILY EMAILS? are you crazy?!?
Sending my list infrequent (and boring) emails wasn’t doing much for my bank account. So I was ready to cancel my email provider and save the time and money I was spending on email marketing every month. Since email wasn’t working for me, I decided I would focus on other things that were working for me at the time. But in April 2016 I had a guest on my podcast who was a big fan of sending daily emails. He had been doing it for a long time and he swore that they worked. I had my doubts, but I figured that I had nothing to lose by trying it– after all, I wasn’t getting any results from my email at the time! In addition to changing to a daily frequency, I also took the filter off when I was writing my emails.
I would no longer worry about whether someone might get offended or unsubscribe from my list. I wouldn’t overthink things, I would just write like I talk and see what happens …
' ... I W AS R EADY T O CAN CEL M Y EMAIL PROVID ER AND SAV E T HE T I ME AND MONEY I W A S SP END IN G ON EMAIL MARKETI N G EVE R Y M ONTH.'
DAILY EMAILS? are you crazy?!?
After a few weeks, I started to see results from it. I began getting replies from subscribers (something that rarely happened before) and then sales started coming in. I could tell that something was happening and that encouraged me to continue the practice.
It’s now about 1000 days after I started with daily emails, and I’ve yet to miss a day in that time. I’ve also had plenty of days where I’ve sent multiple emails out (as many as 7 per day if a sales deadline was approaching). Email has gone from giving me a big fat goose egg ($0) to being one of my primary revenue drivers.
'... YOU’RE CH ASI NG AWAY THE PEO PLE WHO DON’ T RE SO N AT E WITH YOUR MESSAGE ...' Writing emails have become fun, and the practice of writing them every day has made me a much better (and faster) writer. Just like going to the gym will build your physical muscles, daily emails will strengthen your writing ones. And the more I’ve written, the more creative my brain has become and I get content ideas from lots of different places.
Whenever I talk to entrepreneurs about them doing daily emails, I hear some common objections:
1)
2)
“Email is dead!” – I strongly disagree. Email is very much alive, as long as it’s done the right way. If you send nothing but boring sales pitches, then you could have a hard time. I have a call-to-action in every single one of my emails, but I also make them entertaining. I tell stories and lessons that can help my subscribers, and then invite them to take the next step with me. “I don’t have the time to do it!” – once you get used to writing daily emails, the amount of time it takes to write each one will be reduced significantly (I can now pound one out in about 15 minutes). By batching your writing into chunks of time, you can schedule the release of your emails and stay a few weeks ahead. Most people don’t realize the amount of time they spend on social media and could easily divert time spent there into writing emails.
DAILY EMAILS? are you crazy?!?
3)
“People will unsubscribe!” – that’s true, but it’s a good thing. By sending daily emails, you’re chasing away the people who don’t resonate with your message (while making those who do even more loyal). I tell people to celebrate their unsubscribes, and that those people who leave have probably next bought anything from them (and never would have!).
People need your help, and most also need to see your name and message a number of times before they feel comfortable enough to hire you or buy from you. If you only email them occasionally, it’s not enough to cut through the amount of noise online. If done properly, they’ll actually look forward to reading your emails and your name will be on the top of their mind when they’re ready to open their wallets to get help.
' ... T HE M OR E I ’VE WRI T T EN, T H E MOR E CREAT IVE MY B R AIN HA S BECOM E A N D I GET CO NT E NT I DE AS FRO M LOT S O F DI FFERE NT P LA CE S.'
DAILY EMAILS? are you crazy?!?
It takes a leap of faith to start doing daily emails, but the greatest motivator is when you start to get business from it and see the good that you’re doing for people. If you’re hesitant about starting them, I challenge you to commit to sending them for one month. Give it a good 30 days, and don’t worry too much about people unsubscribing. Think of it as a way to purge your list and get the dead weight off it. If it helps, here’s a message that I recently got from a client who I convinced to start doing daily emails: “I’ve been sending out daily emails for a week and my Black Friday sale just ended. In comparison to last year, I made 12.5x more money, wow … I literally had people saying “I’d been waiting to hear from you so I could buy from you”, and I only have 600 people on my list …” I’ve received numerous messages like this since I’ve been pushing entrepreneurs to get started with daily emails. I encourage you to take the plunge as well … good luck!
'PEOPLE NEED Y OUR HELP , AND M OST ALSO NEE D TO SEE Y O UR NAME AND MESSAGE A N UMB E R O F T IM ES BEFO RE THEY FEEL COM FORT A BLE ENOU GH TO H IRE YOU O R BU Y FR OM Y OU.' Marc Mawhinney - Lifelong Entrepreneur, Podcast Host, Coach
Marc Mawhinney is a lifelong entrepreneur who helps coaches get more clients (without paid advertising)! He achieves this with his coaching programs; his podcasts (Natural Born Coaches and The Marc Mawhinney Show); his Facebook group The Coaching Jungle, and his exclusive print newsletter – Secret Coach Club. ¯
He's been a speaker at events like Social Media Marketing World, frequently makes media appearances and contributes for Entrepreneur.com.
Stay in touch with Marc Mawhinney here:
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I have been LYING to you
... and I have been lying to myself. - by: laura francis I'M NOT QUITE SURE HOW TO START THIS. HOW TO WRITE THIS. HOW TO SAY THIS. SO I AM NOT GOING TO CONCERN MYSELF WITH THAT. INSTEAD I AM SIMPLY GOING TO WRITE.
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself.
editors column with laura francis
To allow the message. To allow what needs to be said. To allow what needs to be released.
To flow through me. Through my fingers to the keyboard. And to you. For it to be received by those who need to receive it. In the ways they need it most. Raw as fuck. Real as fuck. Unfiltered as fuck. And of course. Unapologetic as fuck. Even though I am scared to share this with you. Even though I am concerned that you’ll judge me. Even though I am sure that some of you will not like me for it. Regardless of my zero fucks given attitude and beliefs -I actually do care at some level and in some ways. I am human after all. I'll get straight to the point. Because we're not here to fuck around - to meander, to pussy-foot, to procrastinate or to waste time! One of the powerful - in fact,
'... THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS RIGHT EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS PERFECT EXACTLY AS IT IS.'
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself.
editors column with laura francis
probably the most powerful - parts of doing the internal work... Is knowing what questions to ask. And I'm pretty good at that but... I don't always have the right questions. Well, perhaps I do, but I don't always ask them in the right way. Or at the 'right' time. [In the most powerful and effective... the most revealing way... the most game-changing way.] Which, in turn, means that I don't always get the right answer. Well, not necessarily the right answer... Because the answer is always right - everything is always perfect exactly as it is. But the actual realisation, the deep rooted AHA, the core level epiphany that i need to access, to receive, to download, in order to effect the BIG change that I am seeking. And in fact, it sometimes takes someone else, in this case my money coach, to as the questions. This morning during my journaling session I asked a very. specific but still broadly general question and it's as though i was cracked open... As though the floodgates of growth, expansion and the secrets I'd been holding onto without ever really knowing that they existed, that they were a thing - gave way and the AHA's come rushing forth in a grand fucking torrent of... awareness. A super simple question.
'REGARDLESS OF MY ZERO FUCKS GIVEN ATTITUDE AND BELIEFS -I ACTUALLY DO CARE AT SOME LEVEL AND IN SOME WAYS.'
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself.
editors column with laura francis
And the thing is that the questions don't need to be complicated. They simply need to be asked in a way, and at the right time, for us to be cracked open and to receive the lesson, the learnings, the gifts that the answers hold for us. The question I asked myself today (thanks to my money coach, Malaine) was this: 'Where am I out of integrity with money?' I saw this question on my email yesterday but I didn't address it immediately. And now I understand why. Yesterday wasn't the right time. Yesterday I wasn't ready. Yesterday I wouldn't have... Well, I just wouldn't have done the work in the way it needed, in the way it calls to be done.
'... I RECEIVED A BARRAGE OF INFORMATION, OF DOWNLOADS, THAT WERE PURE AND SIMPLY, ABSOFUCKINGLUTE GOLD.' Because timing is everything, and because timing is divine... Today was clearly the day. So, in my journal this morning I wrote this question and IMMEDIATELY I received a barrage of information, of downloads, that were pure and simply, absofuckinglute gold. "Where am I out of integrity with money?' And some of the things that came up for me were things like: I am not honest about money - to myself and others. I am manipulative with money - another reason I refuse to do sales calls but NOW this has come to light I can’t not do the work on it and release it.
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself.
editors column with laura francis
I realise that how I was ‘taught to sell’ was based on fear, scarcity and manipulation and certainly not on love, trust and faith. SO BIG. I use money stories almost daily. I carry A LOT of money guilt and shame around money. I know now that I need to have the awareness and continue to be mindful of my language, behaviours and actions around money. And rather than digging into the ‘why’ I simply need to own that the truth of it and release it... and not fucking continue to pick it up. And then this download came through... Which I'm pretty sure that a lot of you will be able to relate to. I am confident this will resonate with you. For years... From early on in my journey as an entrepreneur... I have not been honest about the amount of debt I had. I have felt less-than about my money situation. Comparing myself to others and beating myself up for not yet being where they are. For not yet having attained the levels of success that they were experiencing, living, enjoying.
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself.
editors column with laura francis
But, this guilt, this shame, these stories... ... well, I didn't want others to see it, to now the whole truth of it... Go back so much farther in my life... ... to when I was a child... ... as they often do. For some time, for a long time, I have refused to get completely honest with myself and with others around this guilt... about this shame. Even though I am always peeling back the layers. Even though I am always breaking through some conditioned beliefs, patterns, behaviours, etc. Even though I am fully aware that - while ever I live and breathe - there will always be more - and more and more - internal work to do. The truth is that I have been afraid to go there. This This This This Of Of Of Of
awareness. acknowledgement. ownership. acceptance.
my my my my
money money money money
truth. stories. guilt. shame.
Has been flowing through me... Has been bubbling to the surface... And yet - I have been afraid and ashamed to deal with it. Â To see it for what it is and to release it. Even though I absolutely know that holding onto it has not in any way been serving my highest good... ... and yet it has. Because, when we hold onto stuff that doesn't
'... COMPARING MYSELF TO OTHERS AND BEATING MYSELF UP FOR NOT YET BEING WHERE THEY ARE.'
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself.
editors column with laura francis
'... I HAVE REFUSED TO GET COMPLETELY HONEST WITH MYSELF AND WITH OTHERS AROUND THIS GUILT... ABOUT THIS SHAME.' serve us in a positive way... It is serving us in a negative way. It's a contrast. And when something serves us in a negative way... ... if we allow it to... ... when we allow it to... ... it will serve us in a positive way. The truth is that this stuff has been ever-present, has been in my reality, since I began my coaching business around 5 years ago... ... but it actually goes back further than that. To my first year or two being an entrepreneur, when I began pretending that I was more than I actually was. To when I started pretending (lying) that I had so much more than I did as far as success and money was concerned. Why did I do that though? The answer to that is really simple. Because I had the deep rooted beliefs that: No-one would want to do business with me. That I wouldn't get the sales and the clients that I wanted...
... if I was completely honest about my success and client base... If they knew, if they
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself.
editors column with laura francis really knew, I was just starting out, I was just beginning to learn, I was just now carving out my path and growing as I went. If they knew that I wasn't really 'killing it'.
Which ultimately stems to me not believing that I was enough... ... ... ... ...
good enough... skilled enough... likeable enough... exactly as I was, as I am.
And while I was journaling on this question - around being out of integrity with money - I received this powerful download. That That That That
this this this this
stuff. belief. behaviour. not-enoughness.
Actually started much farther back than the 10+ years I've been an entrepreneur. In fact, it goes right back to my childhood. To the very early. To the very formative years. Which, inevitably, it almost always does. I mean, shit, at times it even goes as far back as 'past lives'. Anyhoo, I digress ever so slightly.
This facade is linked - unquestionably - to my mother.
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself.
editors column with laura francis
My mother who when she was at home, being her true self, was: Unloving Unkind Bitter Angry Nasty Cruel Violent Abusive Hurtful Hateful Manipulative
' W HIC H U LTIM A T ELY ST EM S T O M E NO T BELIEV IN G TH A T I WAS EN OU GH.. . '
And yet... When the phone would ring she would take her time in answering... ... making sure to clear her throat... ... always assuming a false 'upper class' tone of voice... ... before saying 'Hello'. In order to be perceived as more than she was. In order to be received as different to her true self. Her doing that... I remember it so fucking clearly... used to annoy the fuck out of me. Because. Being that I was her child. Being that I was witness to the truth of who she was. I knew that her doing that was a straight up lie. False. A facade. Her being completely dishonest. This stuff runs deeper still. Whenever my mother would go out in public she would dress in her best clothes... Whenever my mother would go shopping she would always buy the most expensive items...
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself.
editors column with laura francis
And not that that stuff in itself is a 'bad' thing... because that in itself is not at all a a bad thing. After all we are all entitled to look and feel good and to treat ourselves to the best, most classy and luxurious outfits, experiences, and more. But as it stands... ... I see it now for exactly what it was. Wearing a mask in the hope that people don't see you for who you really are. For the sake of what... Pride. Ego. Keeping up appearances. In public, again, she would speak in that 'upper class' tone.
'BEING THAT I WAS WITNESS TO THE TRUTH OF WHO SHE WAS.'
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself. Pretending Pretending Pretending Pretending Pretending
to to to to to
be be be be be
editors column with laura francis
someone... something... she was not. more than she was 'better off' financially than she really was. richer. wealthier. more together.
Pretending to be... all sorts of things. In order to raise herself up in the eyes, and to the minds, of people who didn't really matter to her. Â People she genuinely gave zero fucks about. Why? Pride. Ego. Keeping up appearances. For the sake of momentary gratification. For the sake of momentary escapism from her actual reality. I detested it all. I hated on her for it. I judged her because of it. And now. I can see. Oh so clearly. That for a long time now I have been doing the same thing. Not necessarily in the same ways. But. In certain situations. In certain circumstances. In certain instances. Throughout my life.
' FOR TH E S AK E O F MOM E NT ARY GRATIFI CAT I O N... MO ME NT ARY ESCAPISM...'
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself.
editors column with laura francis
I have been out of integrity with money. Oh so out of integrity with money. I would pretend to be someone, something I was not, am not, in order to be liked, accepted, revered. And in doing so... I would deny the truth of who and what I am. Of how far I have come. Of the levels of success I have experienced. Of the impact I have had and the people I have supported. Why? Pride. Ego. But, more than that. Embarrassment. Guilt. Shame.
' ... A FA CA DE AROU ND MO NEY, WEA LTH '
It is not my intention or wish to blame or shame or be angry at my mother for this stuff, because I am fully aware that I am responsible for allowing this. to be a thing for me, but I am able to clearly see how and where it all began for me and that helps me to see, now, where I have repeated her patterns - so many areas throughout my life - and where I am still doing that. It's as though she had a split personality - a facade - around money, wealth and who she really was... and I can see now where I have done the same and where I am still doing this. This awareness is a game-changer for me. The ripple effect of this awareness, of these realisations, of this truth will be multi-fold and ongoing. And in truth, I am thankful that she shared this 'gift' with me because I know now - as I have likely known all along - that being out of integrity with money, with myself, with my truth, is and has a massive block that has been holding me back from truly being, having, doing and creating the ME that I know I was born to be.
I have been LYING to you... and I have been lying to myself.
editors column with laura francis
It has kept me from rising and claiming all that is mine by divine right. It has kept me from believing and fully trusting that I am deserving of all the things. Here’s the thing…
Real success… … … … …
what that is… what that represents… what that means… is different for everyone.
And to me. Real success, as much as it is about achieving and exceed my sales goals. And it's about so much much more than being liked and accepted by others... … for me it’s about the internal game. The internal growth The internal expansion. The internal congruencey - alignment. Self-acceptance. Self-love. It's about It's about It's about It's about It's about person.
having no secrets. not carrying around guilt or shame. being fully expressed and being unapologetic as fuck about it. honouring and respecting myself in all the ways possible. knowing that I am worthy, that I am deserving, that I am a good, kind, integral
And so now, gorgeous one... It's your turn. Where are you out of integrity with money? What stories, experiences and truths are you holding on to that don’t necessarily serve your highest good (but in some way do because there is always a contrast between positive and negative)? And. Where and how are those things blocking you from being all that you were born to be? From fully believing that you are worthy and deserving of all the things?
Are you ready to drop the stories? Are you ready to leave the past behind? In all the ways!!
To be in full integrity with yourself...? To be in full integrity with money...? To be in full alignment with your Soul...? To be in full alignment with your higher Self...? Are you ready to accept yourself fully? Are you ready to love yourself fully? Are you ready to believe in yourself fully? Are you ready to own that you are absolutely fucking deserving of all the things?
ARE YOU READY TO BE, DO, HAVE AND CREATE THE YOU, THE LIFE AND THE BUSINESS YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED BUT, YET, CONTINUE TO DENY YOURSELF?
Get Started Here!!
Lean in to it. Own it. Feel it. Be it. All of it.
how do I MAKE VIDEOS with impact? by: rachel dunn Firstly, let’s determine exactly what making better videos is by your standard. This is different for everyone. Is it more graphics, animation, flow, who you're being or creativity? Once you are clear on exactly what you define as better videos. This will make the job easier to step up and make them. One of the biggest problems I see when people are making videos is how they communicate with their teams and crew or even with themselves. Communication is the number one thing to work on as a leader. If you don’t have a clear vision of the kinds of videos you want to make. It won’t come across. Remember it isn’t about being perfect. If you aren’t clear at first, start by searching for content you LOVE. At least this is something to go by until you are confident enough to create your own unique style. It is about creating better and better videos each time, and before you know it, you will be making engaging content.
how do I MAKE VIDEOS with impact?
Here are the 3 Best Ways to Get Results From Your Video Content! 1. Vulnerability Bringing passion into your videos! Takes time to master but it is very important. As I scroll through my Facebook feed, I notice that 95% of the videos have one thing in common… they are from the head and not the heart. Have you noticed all of the stand-out videos you have seen lately have made you feel something? Whether it had you laughing, excited, inspired or brought tears to your eyes, they all made you feel and think. For some people being the face of your brand can be the hardest thing to do when you start. But let me tell you it is the best decision you will make. Whenever we share a post with a personal story, it has 100% more engagement than other content. People want to feel connected. When the marketplace is saturated there is one thing that will always stand out… Vulnerability and sharing. This is precisely what you want to do in your video content! Stop getting on camera for the sake of doing it or because you read somewhere that regular video content would grow your business… Don’t get me wrong, you might be giving some great value but are you really providing value if you are not feeling anything?
'...FOR SOME PEOPLE BEING THE FACE OF YOUR BRAND CAN BE THE HARDEST THING TO DO WHEN YOU START.'
how do I MAKE VIDEOS with impact?
Try doing this next time you are making video content: Slow down, breathe and talk about something you are passionate about. When someone speaks about something that lights a fire inside them, and you can’t help being captivated by it! But you must be careful that you are talking at a slower pace and really emphasising your words. I know for a fact that when I get excited, or I want someone to listen, I will talk at a million miles an hour to make sure they hear everything I have to say. Don’t be afraid to take your time because if you are passionate and you are making people feel emotions, they will come back for more.
2. Stand for something Not all of your videos have to be about your business! That’s right, some of the weird and wacky videos that we have made that had nothing to do with Girl Director have had the best engagement and are the reason that clients decide to come on board.
'... IT BECAME AN EASY DECISION What are your core values and how do you stand by them? FOR HIM TO STOP If you follow us on Facebook you would have seen a video recently where I talk about ‘The Black Hat Movement’ – This is something I suddenly of one night that can THE thought PRODUCTION incorporate my love of hats and making a difference to animals! It will be a movement to raise money for animal charities and a way to celebrate on Melbourne Cup VIDEO Day without OF THE supporting the usual cause. VERSION OF THE PODCAST.' Make a video about something you stand for…
'NOT ALL OF YOUR VIDEOS HAVE TO BE ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS!'
how do I MAKE VIDEOS with impact?
I know myself and a lot of other people would love to head out on the first Tuesday of November to have a drink or a bit of celebration but just can’t get behind the horse racing or gambling industry. This is just one example of bringing something we stand for into the business with no direct relation to what we do every day. But it did gather a lot of engagement and support in our community! And from now on keep your eyes peeled for alternative events to Melbourne Cup Luncheons!
3. Engaging Personality I will never forget the moment when I was doing some personal development training many years ago in Sydney, and I remember we had to do this exercise that meant standing in a line and staring out at everyone in the crowd and not say anything for 2 minutes. It was my worst nightmare. I used to be one of those people who liked to be at the back and didn’t like being watched at all! So, you can imagine how freaked out I felt being in this line of people looking out at a full room. It was fascinating what happened. Some people cried, some people laughed, and I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. I am bringing this up because a guy said to me after that exercise he thought I was a bitch when he first met me because of my serious face. What the exercise showed him was that I was scared.
how do I MAKE VIDEOS with impact? It is amazing how other people can judge you when you are scared or serious. I never forgot that because it is essential to look at how you are coming across to other people. Don’t worry about what other people think of you but it is essential to look at your facial expressions and attitude when it comes to video. I have created so many videos being freaked out and scared, and I can tell you people are attracted to light people who make them feel good. The moment you shift your energy the world will change with you. Next time you are on camera. Look at your attitude, your expressions, and how they represent the way you want to be seen. It is all about how you want to be seen and looking back to see if it matches your self-image. I hope you have seen something here for yourself or at least got you thinking about how you can make better videos! Best of all, these things are easy and free! All you have to do is stand for something, talk from the heart and look back to make sure you are coming across with the right energy for how you want to be perceived. And don’t be brought down if it’s not right the first time… just keep getting content out there and if each video is 1% better than the previous one you are on the right track!
'IF YOU DON’T HAVE A CLEAR VISION OF THE KINDS OF VIDEOS YOU WANT TO MAKE. IT WON’T COME ACROSS.' Rachel Dunn: 1 Half of the Badass Team at Girl Director Rachel has changed the lives of thousands of people with their right brain camera confidence training, scavenger hunt workshops and one-on-one Mastermind Training. With more than 25 years of experience in video, marketing, storytelling and creating engagement with marketing. She's all about hands-on teaching mixed with the community and online integrating the practical things you need to do as a business owner in the digital age. Rachel LOVES helping technophobes or masters at what they do but who aren't how to get their marketing on track. She uses proven methods to have leads streaming in using video! Once you learn to create compelling stories using video, it is a skill you can use forever to engage with your clients.
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the 4 LIES keeping you from CREATING A BODY you love by: victoria mantzoros Wherever you look, there are ads of men and women telling you that if you want to be happy and healthy, you need to use this product, buy that thing or to follow some plan directed by another person’s journey. Then you turn to social media and there are thousands of self proclaimed gurus telling you how to achieve a body and life you’d love and a lot of them (not all of them) advocating for following whatever they did to get that result. Here’s the problem with that: When we are constantly trying to find or follow the “right” thing, we can get lost in the details and end up getting derailed in our own health goals. This combined with the busyness of life, family, work and relationships, it’s no wonder there is such a huge struggle around achieving a body you love. This article is going to help you level the eff up in your own health and fitness by getting clear on some of the most popular lies we have been led to believe and how to break through them and into body’s we love.
the 4 LIES keeping you from CREATING A BODY you love
LIE # 1 Sugar Makes You Fat I’m sure you’ve heard the buzz about sugar. Most places tell you that having it will send you into a pit of unhealthiness and excess fat. Is that true though? If that were true, why aren’t all countries that have sugar in their diets, filled with overweight and diseased people? The answer? Because not all sugar is the same and there are other components at play. Now, don’t get me wrong. Having a diet filled with soda, processed sugary foods and candy all the time will not lead to a healthy lifestyle, but it isn’t for the reason you think. It has more to do with where most of your daily caloric intake is coming from. Is your diet subsisting primarily of items with a lot of sugar or do you have a varied, balanced diet with sugar being a small part of that? If it’s the latter, you are probably fine. That piece of chocolate you have in the afternoon, is not going to be the reason you are overweight. It is far more likely that if you are struggling with your weight, you are eating many things frequently throughout the day (or skipped a lot of meals) that are unconducive of achieving your dream bod.
the 4 LIES keeping you from CREATING A BODY you love
It is not whether or not you have sugar in your diet, it is how much of it you are eating and your relationship to it that is making you fat. If you lean on sugar to cope for stress, boredom, sadness or celebration, it’s really easy to have an excess amount in your diet. If you notice that you do this, take note! Find alternatives for getting that need met without turning to food to give it to you. The last tip I have on this for you is to actually enjoy the sugar that you do eat. Sounds simple, I know, but too many people eat way more sugar than planned just because they are busy telling themselves it’s a “no-no” or “they deserve it.” Set yourself free and allow yourself to like what you like in a portion decided by you, rather than dictated by the situation.
LIE #2 Diets Get You To Your Dream Bod Have you ever tried a diet? Most people have. We have all heard of keto, paleo, whole30, weightwatchers, the sweet potato diet, smoothies, juicing, etc. The list goes on and on! According to Dr. Hyman, the average person gains 11 pounds (5 kg) every diet they go on. That is disappointing to say the least, as most people diet to let go of extra weight. It’s not your fault though. Most people think they have a motivation or a will power problem. The reality is, that a diet that is not personalized to your life, social structure and body so when a stressful day comes along or a holiday party occur, even the most dedicated person can slip into old patterns. It feels good to know the exact plan to get results. If you end up gaining the weight back afterwards within a few months, was it really a success though?
'... TOO MANY PEOPLE EAT WAY MORE SUGAR THAN PLANNED JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE BUSY TELLING THEMSELVES IT’S A “NO-NO” OR “THEY DESERVE IT.'
the 4 LIES keeping you from CREATING A BODY you love
There’s also research suggesting that body fat percentages oscillating up and down dramatically can actually make it MORE difficult to achieve your dream bod.
Keith Ayoob, M.D., R.D., an associate professor at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine says ""If you go on a very strict diet and gain the weight back quickly, you might lose a lot of muscle and regain a lot of fat, your metabolism operates on a slower idle, which means it's going to be harder to lose weight as time goes on." The moral of the story is that humans are not robots. I know, shocking, but we treat ourselves like we will follow every order without fail. That just isn’t realistic. You are far more likely to succeed if you build steady habits on top of one another with some flexibility in your eating. Remember that extremes bring extreme results and things always balance out. If you have done any diet in the past and noticed that it didn’t work for you, you aren’t alone. Also, another diet probably isn’t the answer. Diets are fundamentally flawed when they aren’t personalized and properly adjusted to your needs.
'... HUMANS ARE NOT ROBOTS'
the 4 LIES keeping you from CREATING A BODY you love
'... CARDIO IS GREAT FOR HEART HEALTH AND ENDURANCE, BUT NOT SO MUCH FOR SHAPING AND TRIMMING A BODY WITH SOME MUSCLE DEFINITION' LIE #3 Cardio is the Key to Weightloss For many many years, the recommendation was to do more cardio if you wanted to lose weight. The harsh truth is that aerobics classes started as a way for women to work out without being in the way of men lifting in the other areas of the gym. The lie is that you burn fat while you do cardio and doing cardio daily will help you lose weight. Here’s what actually happens. You burn fat during bouts of moderate exercise lasting 20 minutes or longer. Let’s say you run for an hour. Cool, you burned calories for 40 minutes, and the energy burned may make the scale go down, but you may find that you are still “squishy” so to speak. That’s because cardio is great for heart health and endurance, but not so much for shaping and trimming a body with some muscle definition. That’s why as soon as you stop doing cardio, weight comes on quickly.
the 4 LIES keeping you from CREATING A BODY you love
The solution is to have a movement routine that combines strength, balance, flexibility, high intensity interval training (HIIT) and endurance. Incorporating them all ensures that you have a higher metabolism for up to 24 hours (the case when you do HIIT training and some strength) thus burning more calories plus you get more muscle (not size) that burns the fat away.
LIE #4 Health and Beauty is One Size This is the BIGGEST lie of them all. Depending on where you look, different people, organizations, social media and advertisements are always shoving down the idea that health and beauty comes within bodies that are within a small range. I call bullshit. Believing that you will love your body once it looks a certain way not only perpetuates self doubt and criticism, but it makes it incredibly difficult to lose weight. Let me explain, our bodies are simply mirrors of our previous lifestyle. If you don’t like what you see, it’s actually the habits that you’ve been implementing that have changed your body. Your body has been with you the entire time as your ally, digesting everything you’ve given it. Yes, there are health conditions that can cause weight gain or loss, and those are not what I am referring to at this moment as I cannot speak to every possible condition in this brief article. Regardless of where you are at, the reality is that when we hate what we see, we subtly take away our own empowerment with our health. We take away our ability to make choices from love and worthiness. Instead we try to limit and control our intake and movement out of fear or hatred of what we see and what that will mean about people’s opinions of us.
' IT IS FA R MOR E LIKELY THAT IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH YOUR WEIGHT, YOU ARE EATING MANY THINGS FREQUENTLY THROUGHOUT THE DAY (OR SKIPPED A LOT OF MEALS) THAT ARE UNCONDUCIVE OF ACHIEVING YOUR DREAM BOD.'
the 4 LIES keeping you from CREATING A BODY you love
Beauty is multifaceted and so is health. There are different body shapes, sizes and genetics that play a part in what a healthy body looks like. For some that means being very lean and for others that may mean having a little belly or jiggly thighs. Having fat on your body doesn’t make you unhealthy. It is necessary for our body functions and having too low of a body fat percentage can actually hinder your menstrual cycle, but excessive body fat can definitely lead to various health conditions. The harder you fight your body as it is, the harder it is to change sustainably. Health is emotional, physical, mental and spiritual. When we forget that, we make the journey way harder than it is. Remember, you are a badass and capable of anything.
'... CARDIO I S G RE A T FOR HEART HEALTH A ND EN DU RANCE , BU T NOT S O MUCH FO R SH API NG AND TRIMM IN G A BO DY WIT H S OME MU SCLE D E FINI T ION .'
Victoria Mantzoros - Empowerment and Wellness Coach Victoria is the founder of Inspiration Unleashed Coaching, Your Health Unleashed Signature System and is a certified empowerment and wellness coach dedicated to helping go-getters love who they see in the mirror with and without clothes on. Over the last 6 years, she has worked with hundreds of people creating bodies and lives they love in sustainable, yet fun ways. She is on a mission to help connect 1 million people to more love, joy and compassion by helping them recreate the relationships with themselves. She runs a free online community, group coaching programs, private coaching and does various public speaking engagements.
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better marriage - better business:
the ART of an APOLOGY Part Two by: mirella deboni We all make mistakes, especially in our relationships and more so when we run a business with our beloved. We hurt the people we love by breaking promises, lying, making rude comments or jokes at their expense, having unrealistic expectations and the list goes on. We are not meant to be perfect. Sometimes we say or do the wrong thing and we hurt someone by something we said or did, or didn't say or do.
When we behave badly, we need to apologize — quickly, in a heartfelt way. But sometimes, “sorry” just isn’t enough.
better marriage - better business (Part Two): the ART of an APOLOGY
Why? Because there is an art to a heartfelt apology and what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. You need to know when it's time to apologise to your partner in business and in life and how to apologise. The art of apologizing takes thought and practice. It's one thing to apologize, it's another thing to mean it and another thing still, for someone to accept it. Apologizing and making amends isn’t about getting something (forgiveness) for yourself. It’s about giving something to another person — respect, consideration and honesty.
Endings and Beginnings Apologies can be the start of a fresh new chapter or the end of a shitty one. There are plenty of situations when a conflict has caused hurt but no one wanted to be the first to apologise. Then the relationship ends out of pure stubbornness and pride. It’s just not as simple as that when you’re running a business with your partner. We can’t just run when it gets tough. Let’s face it… we can all be an arsehole at times, but we don’t have to be. Some people feel they have the luxury to string out the conflict and make the other person suffer but really, for what gain? To show who’s in charge? For example, withholding affection and sex, giving the silent treatment, threatening to leave the relationship and business, taking off without any notice. Our actions and reactions can make a situation better or worse and you get to choose. We need to acknowledge our own role in a conflict.
Expectations One of the big problems with conflict and apologies is our expectations. We think because we’ve been together for long enough they should just know. I would say the proof is in the pudding. Evidence shows us day after day that they don't know us as well as we think they should. And of course - that goes both ways.
' IT'S ON E T HING TO APOLOGIZE, IT'S ANOTHER THING TO MEAN IT AND ANOTHER THING STILL, FOR SOMEONE TO ACCEPT IT.'
better marriage - better business (Part Two): the ART of an APOLOGY
'TALKING ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS ISN’T A BAD THING. THE GOAL IS TO ADD MORE TO YOUR CONVERSATIONS. MAKE THEM MORE PERSONAL.' We expect our partners to know how we feel, even if we can’t explain it ourselves. We expect them to know what we’re thinking, even when we’re confused ourselves and we expect our partners to know what to do even if we are absolutely clueless. Sounds like a recipe for disaster because it means we are ultimately being let down and disappointed. Then we’re going to lose our shit or start to withdraw. Neither are a good response for a loving relationship and a successful business partnership. Our partner may let us down by not knowing us as well as we think they should but that’s not intentional, however when we are emotionally disturbed by it, the claws come out and we can get nasty. The difference is when we get ourselves worked up into that kind of emotional state, we’re looking to hurt our partner and punish them for letting us down. Like I said this goes both ways. We all do it or have done it. It would be great if we went through life, being and doing our best and giving our partner 100% but that’s not real life. We are going to fuck up sometimes and that’s ok. You just need to know when to stop getting caught up in your own bullshit and do the right thing… like apologising.
better marriage - better business (Part Two): the ART of an APOLOGY
Be Accountable Accountability means you’re willing to look at how you reacted and what you did that wasn't appropriate. I know this is a learned skill, but if you’re willing to look at yourself first, then you’ll have the power to change any situation.
Forgiveness Forgiveness means that you’re willing to look past the situation for the good of your relationship, the good of your family and the good of your business. It’s about making a decision that the current situation doesn’t define your relationship and that no emotion is as strong as the love you have for your partner. Sometimes we forget that our love has the power to heal all wounds. Forgiving someone is a step closer to resolving issues, gaining understanding and bringing people closer. It is also a gift to yourself because you’re not wasting your energy by focusing on bad feelings or thoughts. If someone is willing to apologise and it could be your partner, your staff a customer or someone in your family then you need to be ready to forgive them too. If you’re not ready then that's something you need to work on.
'FORGIVING SOMEONE IS... A GIFT TO YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT WASTING YOUR ENERGY BY FOCUSING ON BAD FEELINGS OR THOUGHTS. '
better marriage - better business (Part Two): the ART of an APOLOGY
When someone has the courage to apologise, it’s a big deal. That means someone is willing to put their pride on the line, make themselves vulnerable and they’re trying to makes things right. As the recipient, you need to decide if you’re going to allow the conflict to end by accepting the apology or continue the conflict by rejecting it.
4 Ways to Apologize Say it! You can simply say it by choosing your words carefully. When you say it, you have to aware of your tone of voice, the words you say and the sincerity of it. Remember the person you’re apologising to is already highly sensitive and they’ll pick up on even a hint of insincerity.
Gifts You can show them by giving them a gift. Some people will buy wine, beer, flowers, chocolates or other small gifts to show they care. If the gift is personal, not expensive, it will show your heartfelt sincerity.
Write it! You can write a note and explain where you were coming from, what you now understand about the situation and how you would do it differently in the future. This is really important when “saying it” is not enough. When words are not enough it’s usually because the other person wants to know exactly why you are sorry. So, you need to write all the details but focus on the apology not a list of excuses. In other words, describe why you are sorry.
Write it! You can use affection to show that you are sorry, a hug, a kiss, an arm around their shoulder. Warning! I would be careful of the timing of this one because when someone is hurt sometimes
better marriage - better business (Part Two): the ART of an APOLOGY
the last thing they want is to be touched. So, make sure you do this if your partner likes affection.
Here's a few tips on how to make your apology heartfelt: Timing Here's what I think: The perfect moment to apologize is the moment you realize you've done something wrong. The sooner you offer an apology, the quicker the healing can begin. If you can, do it the same day. You could always initiate an apology via text, email, or phone and then follow up in person later or the next day. Don’t have the discussion as your partner is busy or in front of others.
Body Language A sincere apology requires the right words and body language with relaxed posture, eye contact - look into their eyes, touch them affectionately, and your facial expression should be remorseful.
Be Specific and Offer An Explanation If you are truly regretful, be clear about what you are sorry for so your partner understands that you know what you did. This restores faith that you won't react the same in the future because you know what needs to change.
Don't Take It Back! Say it and mean it. Don't say sorry but..... that just means you are justifying why you were an arse or why they deserved it.
' THE PE R F ECT MOMENT TO APOLOGIZE IS THE MOMENT YOU REALIZE YOU'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.'
better marriage - better business (Part Two): the ART of an APOLOGY
I suggest talking this through with your partner and decide which way works best for each of you because everyone is different. Let's take out the mind games and simply say: “This is what I need from you if we have an argument about something, I need you to.......” In essence, you need to choose your arguments, ask yourself what’s it really worth, what’s it really costing you to be right and do you really need to hurt your partner because you’re hurting?
'WHEN WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH IT’S USUALLY BECAUSE THE OTHER PERSON WANTS TO KNOW EXACTLY WHY YOU ARE SORRY.'
Mirella DeBoni: Business Coach, Author, NLP and Relationship Expert You’ll find Mirella in the Whitsundays Queensland, Cappuccino + Peanut M & M’s in hand, surrounded by cats & armed with cute stationery (too good to write on!) With her background in NLP, Clinical Hypnotherapy, Marriage Counselling, Business Coaching, Marketing & Book Writing…. I’m the one-stop-shop to help business owners perform at their best personally and professionally. Mirella works with service-based business owners and married couples in business, who struggle with depression, anxiety or relationships, while trying to grow their business, write content and market their services.
Stay in touch with Mirella DeBoni here:
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IGNITE your VITALITY for 2019 by: dani strong I know it’s a cliché, yet how fast is 2019 approaching? The more years that pass by, the more alarming the rate becomes. In my 20’s and early 30’s, life seemed like a practice run.. and the more I delved into the vast world of mindset and PD, I realized that every single thought and energy cast in a particular direction is vital, let alone that age-old saying that every single day counts. As I immerse in my work to empower women to make the best choices for themselves, loving on their unique epicness to ignite their Vitality; it became clear to me that so many women don’t know what this feels like anymore.. perhaps they never even felt it. Women have become used to the sluggish, heavy, bloated feeling that accompanies them through the day with their less than healthy food choices. Yet something that baffles me is that it has become ‘ok’. It’s become ok to feel this way as long as business is thriving and I’m going to call it.. it becomes the excuse for wellness to not take precedence because ‘too busy’ to think about anything else.
IGNITE your VITALITY for 2019
How would it feel to wake up with the energy levels you want, that stays with you during the day? Your food and lifestyle choices supporting this energy? We talk a lot about rituals and setting ourselves up for the day which is a vital piece of the pie, absolutely, yet if we’re not backing up this excellence during the day with ways to shine up that Vitality… well, we know what happens. Strive. Struggle. Push. This is a whole lot of effort.
'WOMEN HAVE BECOME USED TO THE SLUGGISH, HEAVY, BLOATED FEELING THAT ACCOMPANIES THEM THROUGH THE DAY WITH THEIR LESS THAN HEALTHY FOOD CHOICES.'
IGNITE your VITALITY for 2019
Wellness isn’t hard; it doesn’t have to be hard, yet it’s the #1 thing I hear women struggle with and it frustrates them like anything. Many female coaches are wearing that tattered Wonder Woman cape and holding it together with a fraught smile… only just. Embodying excellence in every aspect of their life; smashing goals in their career, family, relationships and from the outside she is doing epically. Wondering why the hell she can’t hold herself to the standards she does in work and life when it comes to making decisions for her health and Vitality. The simple answer is because the discipline and focus that goes into business is not going into herself. In fact, I thrive on simplifying the process so the by-product of these steps is a death of the self-sabotage with food and most likely wine, that tends to happen at the end of a busy as fuck day because not enough self-love is in the house! So, as we step ever closer to the finish line of 2018, I’m going to share my Top 3 things to do, to welcome in 2019 with a renewed Vitality to avoid the struggle and burnout.
Tip #1 - How Do You Want To Feel? Your to-do list of what needs to be achieved for the week and broken down into daily tasks brings awareness and energy to allow your business to thrive as it moves forward. Where the energy goes, energy flows, right? Just like you forecast your goals in business and where you’d like to be; take some time out on a weekend and write down everything you want to feel in yourself, what does Vitality feel like in your body, how would you like to feel in your body, in your clothes. Then in the present tense write down what’s different when you’re feeling the way you want to about you and your body. How does it affect your life in general? What’s your new food relationship? Why do you choose to eat foods that will elevate your health and get you through your day with ease and flow? Get really specific about how it’ll change your life when you’ve finally embodied excellence in this final area of your life.
IGNITE your VITALITY for 2019
Tip #2 - Check In With Your Soul Throughout The Day To Shine Up Your Vitality I often talk about having conversations with your soul. When you can check in with yourself regularly through the day, you get to know you on a much deeper level to then give yourself what you need in that short moment. Start by setting an alarm on your phone with a phrase or your favourite emojis. 2 minutes to take a few deep breaths and ask ‘How am I feeling?’ And ‘What do I need?’ And then go do. Do you need 2 minutes in nature, do you need a 5-minute calming meditation, do you need a healthy snack or a drink of water? Do you need a hug or a quick txt conversation with a loved one or girlfriend? Do you simply need to ground taking deep breaths and coming back into the moment? By checking in with your soul through the day and giving it what it needs; that autopilot to the fridge or pantry at the end of a day will start to diminish.
Tip #3 - Meditate Your Way To Vitality Include some meditation in your day, every day - not just here and there. The reason your business is thriving is because there’s discipline, consistency and most likely systems and processes in place - let’s do the same for you. Meditation will help the part of your mind that doesn’t make the best choices for you, to begin to align with what you want for you and your body on a conscious level.
'... HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH YOUR SOUL. WHEN YOU CAN CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF REGULARLY THROUGH THE DAY, YOU GET TO KNOW YOU ON A MUCH DEEPER LEVEL...'
IGNITE your VITALITY for 2019
The reason the angel and devil syndrome occurs is because what you consciously want gets sabotaged by the unconscious part of the mind that stores all the secrets for your blueprint to perfect health. The patterns and programs that were created as a result of being subjected to traumas, emotions, and situations as a child, create various lenses on our perception and conditions 95% of who we are now. So It’s no wonder diets are continually being broken and falling off the wagon is a regular occurrence because it’s deeply ingrained and has been running for many years. The great news is, we get to change that now consciously, and then unconsciously as we fall into good habits that support your Vitality. So find a meditation that resonates with you around self-love, self-worth, motivation, inspiration or anything that appeals to YOU! Connect with your higher self, discover what makes her feel good and how you’ll treat your beautiful body to thrive through the day. Keep doing this and as you celebrate midnight on December 31st; it’s likely you’ll have an even deeper meaning to this celebration to seriously own 2019 mind, body, spirit.
'... NO WONDER DIETS ARE CONTINUALLY BEING BROKEN AND FALLING OFF THE WAGON...' Dani Strong: Womens Empowerment and Vitality Coach Living With Vitality encompasses everything that sets your freaking soul on fire… starting with you. Dani’s soul purpose is to empower women to live their life on their terms; as mind, body + spirit align on a powerful journey as women ignite who they were born to be. Each decision they make aligns with Dani's ethos: I Choose To Feel Good; their intentions of becoming the woman they desire to be create ripples of amazingness through their world, As a Women’s Empowerment + Vitality Coach, Dani takes women on a powerful journey by lighting up their path as they burn away the sabotage of what they know is best for their life and body. With her knowledge, women reconnect with their true essence to live a life that simply, feels good; Living With Vitality.
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the NEW YEAR has ALREADY begun by: kathleen fraser - the astrology seer: connecting the cosmos macrocosm
the NEW YEAR has ALREADY begun - Kathleen Fraser: the astrology seer
Neptune in Pisces: 3/2/2011 – 27/1/2026! This transit only occurs once every 165 years so enjoy it while you can! Lucky you! You get to experience the divine, inter-connectedness and unconditional loving bliss that this transit can provide. Coupled with increased intuition, imagination, creativity with more healers and mystics too as spirituality is practised en masse. Loving vibrations are being raised as we move beyond 3d reality and begin to communicate with other life forms either for real or in the realms of astral travel. Yoga, meditation, mindfulness also come under this wonderful esoteric transit. Mars Transits.
Mars is the Roman god of war and as such governs over our physical strength, bravery, energy, passions and the desire to win. The signs and houses that Mars transits during his orbit are infused with all the fiery energy that this deity naturally brings, and in relation to our birth chart effects us in those areas of life that he contacts.
15/11/18: Mars in Pisces and the 12th House: As Mars transits through Pisces and contacts all the planets, asteroids and points that you have here you will experience a rush of enthusiasm to achieve all those wonderful, imaginative, compassionate ideas that some naturally to you. Allow yourself to dream big and true to you.
1/1/2019: Mars in Aries and the 1st House: With Mars in his powerhouse, you will be feeling big, bold, confident, fearless and pioneering. People around you sense your personal power and you assert yourself unapologetically. You begin a lot of projects.
14/2/19: Mars in Taurus and the 2nd House: Here is when you follow up on those projects and commit to the long haul. You work tirelessly and utilise all of your personal resources.
14/2/19: Mars in Taurus and the 2nd House: Here is when you follow up on those projects and commit to the long haul. You work tirelessly and utilise all of your personal resources.
the NEW YEAR has ALREADY begun - Kathleen Fraser: the astrology seer
31/4/19: Mars in Gemini and the 3rd House: Here you use your communication skills to bring together different g/roups of people that are interested in your ideas.
16/5/2019: Mars in Cancer and the 4th House: You will feel passionately about your goals and for helping out the underdog. You may spend more time in the home, but it is spent productively.
1/7/2019: Mars in Leo and the 5th House: Extroverted feelings arise and you make a proud display of yourself, your skills and your achievements. You are feeling very creative and generous and enjoy good company and celebrations.
the NEW YEAR has ALREADY begun - Kathleen Fraser: the astrology seer
18/8/2019: Mars in Virgo and the 6th House: A time to pay attention to some of the finer details as you fine tune your life to a level of super efficiency.
4/10/2019: Mars in Libra and the 7th House: Your attention turns towards the relationships that you create: professional and personal, and you may find that people are not being up front about what they actually want. Allow yourself to develop new ways of relating.
19/11/2019: Mars in Scorpio and the 8th House: A time to pay attention to some of the finer details as you fine tune your life to a level of super efficiency.
3/1/2019: Mars in Sagittarius and the 9th House: You will be interested in exploring new territories during this time and you expand beyond the borders of geography and philosophy.
16/2/2019: Mars in Capricorn and the 10th House: An ambitious transit where you have your eyes set on the top and you will achieve a lot with your productivity.
30/3/2019: Mars in Aquarius and the 11th House: Friendships and humanitarian projects capture your attention and you invest your energies into having a world wide impact.
the NEW YEAR has ALREADY begun - Kathleen Fraser: the astrology seer
13/5/2019: Mars in Pisces and the 12th House: Back to your Pisces zone. A reflective and imaginative time for you.
25/6/2019: Mars in Aries and the 1st House: Retrograde from 9/9/2020-14/11/2020. A time of high energy separated by the retrograde period when it is important to preserve your energies and work smarter rather than fighting through.
'... E XP ER IEN CE TH E D IV INE , INTER- CO N NECTE DNESS AN D UNC ONDIT IO NA L LO V ING BL IS S T H A T THIS TRA NSI T CAN PRO V IDE. .. I N CRE ASE D IN TU I TI ON , IMAG I NATIO N ... EN MA S SE. '
Kathleen Fraser: The Astrology Seer: Connecting the cosmos macrocosm  In 1995, Kathleen was given an Astrology book and when she read it, everything clicked. Since then she has devoured countless books and articles on the subject and continuesto explore beyond the traditional planets, past the asteroids and towards the mysteries objects of the Kuiper belt in deep space.
Kathleen never tires of the stories of the world's mythologies and then connecting the dots within the events of each given moment, exploring the energetics of the cosmos playing out their game of destiny on our human lives. The heavenly bodies speak a language that can be interpreted and applied to our daily life to great success, and Kathleen loves to do it.
Stay in touch with Kathleen Fraser here:
realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.
the GLASS CEILING effect by: arthie moore Now here is an amazing concept… Cliché’s…. Now maybe I am thinking out of the box here and many of you will not agree, because you are still happy with where you are at…and I am not going to suck up to you like many writers and tell you that it is ok… But I WILL tell you this…it is total Bullshit!!!
the GLASS CEILING effect
So now that you are offended and want to stop reading, go ahead. It does not bother me…what does, is that you are willing to buy into the self limiting belief ingrained in you from a saying coined by some stranger out there and yet, it has the power to guide your everyday thinking???? Maybe I am missing the point here? So let me explain MY thinking then! If glass is transparent and can be seen through…..AND it can be shattered with force…why then are we limited by a barrier that is imprinted in our beliefs and seen in our everyday actions? Why do we CHOOSE to limit our thinking? Seriously think about it. The belief that you are held back in life, in relationships, at work, in your home, in your family, in your social interactions…all of this is because there is a glass ceiling effect holding you back.
'... YOU ARE WILLING TO BUY INTO THE SELF LIMITING BELIEF INGRAINED IN YOU FROM A SAYING COINED BY SOME STRANGER OUT THERE AND YET, IT HAS THE POWER TO GUIDE YOUR EVERYDAY THINKING...' Let’s quantify this… Many say that they cannot go further in their careers due to the glass ceiling effect specifically designed to hold Women back…now here I can agree and disagree at the same time. There are some instances and environments not conducive to your own growth due to the limited thinking of some individuals…however, if you are really good at what you do, then you have an entire industry to play with. Move, grow, change, choose…but whatever you do, stop wallowing in self pity.
the GLASS CEILING effect
See, my thinking is that you are ALLOWING someone else’s limiting belief systems about gender, to be the excuse why you can’t stand up for yourself, make a life for yourself, why you cannot get a promotion, why you are always the target, always disrespected, always bullied, always harassed, always spoken about, always demeaned, always ignored…and the list goes on. Do you see a pattern here? Everything is a reaction to someone else’s behaviour towards you. Regardless of whether you are a man or woman, if you have a sob story for how people ALWAYS treat you, stop yourself right now and reflect on your own behaviour! How much of this do you allow? How much do you stand up for yourself? Do you need to be more assertive? Speak more clearly and with confidence? Be more decisive? Or just simply grow the courage to say NO!
'MANY SAY THAT THEY CANNOT GO FURTHER IN THEIR CAREERS DUE TO THE GLASS CEILING EFFECT SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO HOLD WOMEN BACK...'
the GLASS CEILING effect
At what point do you decide that you are WORTH it? At what point in your life, do you stop wallowing in self pity and take back your voice and your own innate ability to achieve based on the fact, that you are an amazing person, who adds value to others just because of who you are? See, my belief is simply this, as Eleanor Roosevelt so succinctly put it, “No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent”. Now this rings true because I trust in this sentence completely. Nothing anyone says or does, can cause me to react. I choose to respond because I know that I am destined to impact millions of lives not because I am dreamed it, but because I pursue it. I am not limited in what I can do and achieve. I work on my personal thoughts, actions and belief systems constantly. It is true that there are some people out there who do not have your best interest at heart, be it family, friends, a partner, spouse or work colleagues. Their thoughts about you has absolutely nothing to do with you and it is merely a reflection on their own character! They have their own journey to live and the day you step back and understand that, is the day you take back your own life. Remember, a glass ceiling effect is in your mind. People around you are the triggers that you allow yourself to react to and the domino effect is that you begin to live the way they determine your life should be. I am saying and I have proven that it can be shattered by strengthening your own thoughts, words, actions and belief systems. Stand up for yourself by becoming aware of what you allow and stop it! So where to from here?
'... IF YOU HAVE A SO B S TO RY F OR HOW PE OPL E A LW AY S T REA T YOU, STO P YOUR SE LF R I G HT N OW AND REFLE CT ON YO U R O WN B EHA VI O UR! '
the GLASS CEILING effect
Simple – choose to invest in you… don’t just read amazing articles about self development – do it. Don’t just read awesome books and watch TED talks – implement it! Don’t just hang around conferences and network for the sake of it – build relationships meaningfully. Get rid of negative leeches from your life and entice powerful, like minded, visionary thinkers into your Core circle of innovative life changers. Create a vision for where you deserve to be and have. Work on your daily affirmations and stretch your mind to achieve more than you thought possible. Celebrate every single win or achievement and know that each day is a step in the right direction. People admire and respect women who are decisive and confident. So step up and step out because you are worth it. “Remember in life, that you too are a miracle!”
'GET RID OF NEGATIVE LEECHES FROM YOUR LIFE...' Arthie Moore - International Author, Leadership Coach & Speaker Arthie Moore, in business internationally for over 20 years throughout South Africa, Africa, UK, USA and Europe; continuously seeking innovative methods to impact millions of lives globally. She's a Leadership Coach, Mentor and Keynote Speaker and one of 2 Exclusively trained Values Based Leadership specialising in Diversity training and Conflict Resolution. An author, photographer and adventure sport enthusiast who realises that the biggest need people seek is self development, Arthie mixes with people in orphanages, squatter camps and schools to Boards of Directors and CEO's from Fortune 500 companies on a daily basis. Arthie's personal self development lies in her vision for her life, future and the need to impact entire countries whilst destroying the clichés that hold people back in life.
Stay in touch with Arthie Moore here:
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traditional GOALSETTING DOESN'T WORK for women by: ari powell You’ve heard it all before. Set a goal, go to work on it every day, be consistent, hustle hard, get disciplined! I’m just tired writing that let alone going to work like that. All driven towards a certain flavour of success, a certain way of working, lorded as the only way. Occasionally you stumble across a “counter argument”, feel into it, make a vision board, chuck a few crystals and essential oils in for good measure. Where’s the in-between? Where’s the training that DOESN’T trivialise the feminine as simply another woo woo element. I LOVE my oils, crystals and woo but I’m a deeply practical woman. I grew up on a dairy farm, heavily influenced by my pragmatic mum who came to
traditional GOALSETTING DOESN'T WORK for women
Australia from the Netherlands as a baby escaping the ruin of WWII and decimation that Auschwitz had had on her family. I was brought up unafraid of hard work and getting dirty, roughhousing with two brothers, with a love of nature and a touch of the woo early on. As I branched out into business whilst teaching fulltime, I dutifully applied everything I was taught. I was a good student! I set goals, made vision boards, had a mentor, hired a coach, applied all I knew, and missed my big goals every time. Vision boards turned into painful reminders that I wasn’t succeeding the way that I’d hoped I would. I knew about the power of mindset, I did the activities that would supposedly break me through to the next level, and all it did was bring into sharp focus, how screwed up I felt. All the affirmations in the world wouldn’t override the depressive anxiety and notgood-enough-ness that I felt. I’ve always been passionate about both the need to shake off the female stereotypes of the infantilised woman and the somewhat empowering understanding of the differences between men and women. That we can equally achieve, but we achieve differently. But what I came to understand through research and training is that the approaches that work for one, DO NOT translate well for the other.
traditional GOALSETTING DOESN'T WORK for women
Women need to consider the following in order to set goals that they’ll actually achieve:
Have a Vision We’re often taught targets and sweet spot numbers are the measure of our success, but they’re just ways of measuring progress of ONE aspect of our life or biz. A bigger vision helps to provide context, meaning and purpose to smaller goals AND gives you permission to ditch old goals for new as you evolve and your priorities change. It also allows you to create a life that you can live NOW, not something put on hold until you’ve “MADE IT”.
Get Aligned Dig deep into your values. It’s not enough to know them, you need to know what lies beneath them. What fears are silently sabotaging your virtuous value? For example, a strong value of Financial security may have been the driving force for starting your business but the fear of financial destitution that underlies it is also what keeps you from ever quitting your day job. Family also gets toted about as a virtuous motivator but does the underlying fear of being alone or no longer being important turn you into a smothering mother? I’ve seen it happen. Family also gets toted about as a virtuous motivator but does the underlying fear of being alone or no longer being important turn you into a smothering mother? I’ve seen it happen. I’ve also seen women faithfully pursuing a goal because it’s what they’ve been told to do. It’s the next level, it’s what success looks like, but deep down she doesn’t really want it. Make sure your goals are your own and free from obligation or limiting beliefs. Once you’ve dug out the crap and cleared it, NOW you can align your vision and goals, and the manner you’ll go after them.
'VISION BOAR DS T URN ED I NTO PAINFUL RE MI N DE RS TH A T I W AS N’T SUCCEED ING T HE WA Y T H AT I’ D HOPED I WOUL D .'
traditional GOALSETTING DOESN'T WORK for women
Redefine Consistent Women are literally different from one day to the next. We have a cycle that fluctuates our hormones. Even post-menopausal or post hysterectomy women have a cycle, it’s softer and a lot harder to track BUT it’s there wielding its silent influence. Harness your female factor! Use the strengths of the different phases to boost your productivity so that you can rest appropriately. How you show up from one day to the next is allowed to look different, the degree to which you show up doesn’t have to be the same. Automate and repurpose content in your super-efficient phase so that you can “show up” even when you can’t bring yourself to in your internal phase and instead use that time for rest and reflection. “You have to show up consistently EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.” is a recipe for burn out. Been there, done that, not going there again. You can still be consistent but it’s cyclic not daily. Redefine what consistency looks like for you. For example: Some weeks you’re doing LIVES flat out, the next your posting YouTube links back to repurposed content. Find what works for you and make it your own.
'I’VE ALS O SE E N WOMEN FAI TH FULLY PURSUING A G OA L BECAUS E IT’ S W H AT THEY’VE BEEN TOLD TO DO. IT’ S THE NE XT LEVEL, IT’ S WH AT SUCCESS LOO KS LIKE, BUT DEEP DOWN SH E DO ESN’ T REALLY WAN T IT .
traditional GOALSETTING DOESN'T WORK for women
Forget Focus The cells in our eyes are built for focus (men for peripheral). It’s why women have a reputation for noticing the details. Telling women to set a goal and then focus is killing them. They are focused! What they need are ways to pull back, get some perspective, view the big picture, and remove unnecessary demands on their time and energy.
Get Accountable Track what you’re doing or better yet, get a coach, mentor, or friend who’s not afraid to be a bitch (lovingly). You need accountability more than anything. Women release oxytocin when stressed, which drives us to seek out connection. Working with someone to achieve your goals is an efficient way to make progress and lower your stress levels at the same time.
Take Things Personally Being shamed into disregarding our emotions because “they’re not real” is dishonest and unproductive. It’s not about needing to be MORE rational.
We are capable of rationally knowing one thing but FEELING something entirely different. It’s the unconscious programming that we operate from and trying to override them with rational, conscious thought is exhausting. We’ve inherited beliefs and emotional predispositions epigenetically, and when the science indicates at least 14 generations, the immense burden that comes with that needs to be acknowledged. Fear of criticism or making a mistake, are NOT irrational, when you consider the very real consequences that existed historically. My family, only 2 generations above me,
' WE’ R E O FTE N TA U GH T TARG ETS AND SWEET SPO T NUM BER S AR E THE ME ASU RE O F O UR SUCCESS, BUT THEY’ R E J UST W AY S O F MEA SUR IN G PROGR ES S OF ONE ASP ECT OF O UR LIFE O R BI Z .'
traditional GOALSETTING DOESN'T WORK for women
Clear Your Blocks They’re buzz words in the personal development world: emotional blocks and selflimiting beliefs, and they don’t translate well into laymen’s terms. However, whatever you call them, they’re a reality, beliefs and predispositions that see you triggered by life in a way that others are not, and they can make or break you. Too often the biggest thing in the way of a woman achieving her goals is a belief or beliefs that she holds, often unconsciously. If you clear those limiting beliefs, you start up-levelling like crazy and that means success; your personal brand of success, whatever that looks like. However, be sure to use a process that doesn’t treat you like a man. The techniques designed by men and proven very effective for men are not suited for women when our physiology is different. It’s one of the reasons the personal development world remains male dominated despite the massive growth of female entrepreneurs, simply because the techniques taught by men and women were designed for men. Our brains are wired differently, our eyes see differently, we have a hormonal fun park going on that men do not, and these factors need to be acknowledged. Ultimately the traditional method of goalsetting: Set a goal, break it down, go to work on it every day, consistently, with focus and discipline, DOESN’T WORK for women. It’s missing the feminine required for women to connect with it and it’s missing the flow required to accommodate our bodies.
Get a vision, get aligned, harness your female factor, and be emotionally equipped to handle how things unfold, is how we as women need to approach things if we want to achieve a life we love, without burning ourselves out.
Ari Powell - Trannsformational Coach for Women Ari Powell is a Creatrix® Transformologist®, who helps women remove self-limiting beliefs and emotional blocks, so that they can up-level their life and business. Having suffered from anxiety and depression for much of her life, Ari is committed to helping women clear the emotional baggage that contributes to chronic stress. In 2015 this mission became especially important, after Ari experienced the stillbirth of her daughter, Mia, and realised the importance of being emotionally equipped to handle life’s challenges.
When Ari isn’t juggling her 3 days of teaching with her businesses and raising 3 energetic children, she spends her time journaling and tending to her ever-growing mass of indoor plants.
Stay in touch with Ari Powell here:
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