LIFE LESSONS A Saigon-based life coach provides Beth Young with some much-needed guidance. Not long ago, Robert Bridgeman decided to change his life. He lost 30 kilos, quit the excessive drinking that exacerbated his “arrogance” and threw away a 17-year-old smoking habit. He underwent a complete transformation. He likes to say the person he was died. Several factors spurred Robert's decision to change: His wife left him after eight years of marriage and he lost one of his businesses when his associate grew tired of his behaviour. And so a year-long journey of self-discovery in his native Holland began. Robert took a hiatus from work. He visited spiritual teachers, started practising yoga and meditation and went on silent retreats. He did every self-help program he could find until he reached a point where he could actually guide others. Now, Robert is living in Saigon with his girlfriend Monique. Together they run the LYON Centre in An Phu where they teach yoga and meditation. (LYON stands for Live Your Own Nature.) They also offer treatments like reiki. But what I'm here for is a life coaching session. The timing is perfect. I'm recently single after a five-and-ahalf year relationship, unsure if I want to stay in HCM City and in dire need of direction. It's all very Zen upstairs on the balcony of the LYON Centre where Robert does his coaching. Down a leafy alley off Thao
Dien, it's quiet and peaceful. That is until we sit down. Robert looks at me pointedly and says, “So, tell me about yourself.” Then I'm in the hot seat. I give him the abridged version, but somehow he draws out extra details. He also employs an old journalist trick—using long silences so the subject feels the need to fill the space by talking. It works. With guts spilled, Robert guides me through some exercises. The program that we're doing is called 'Discover Your Potential'. Usually, Robert would work with a client for 10 sessions. Since we only have the
to drink half your body weight in ounces each day.” The energy downers are obvious: alcohol, smoking and drugs, coffee, bad food, excessive sugar, little sleep and no exercise. Watching too much TV and spending time with negative people also make the cut. For the first two years of his new life, Robert removed all these energy downers. “I found it doable, but also hard, especially socially. It's very hard to hang around people and have all these limits.” Instead, he suggests striving for a healthy balance. Now, Robert lets himself have a coffee
“I am strong, I am powerful, I am loving, I am in balance, I am happy, I am perfect." one session together, Robert's challenge is to help me find and unleash my potential in just two hours. According to him, it's all about thinking positively and keeping your energy levels high. “We fail because we don't have the energy, because we are too tired to keep trying,” Robert says. There are energy uppers and downers, he adds. The goal is to take advantage of those that give energy. These include regular exercise, healthy food, adequate sleep and water. As he says “water”, he looks at my untouched glass and tells me to drink up. “Water is so often overlooked. It's important
or two a week and an alcoholic drink every now and then. “I'm finding balance—not living like a monk, but a human being,” he says. Robert then goes on to explain that there are four levels of existence—spiritual, mental, emotional and physical. “As above, so below. As below, so above,” he says by way of explanation. He means that while exercise increases physical strength, it also strengthens emotional, mental and spiritual well being. Alternatively, being in a solid place spiritually will filter down, with positive results felt physically. “If it happens on
one plane, it'll happen on all planes,” Robert stresses. This is why maintaining a positive outlook is crucial. Everyone has bad thoughts. The trick is to master the art of turning those thoughts around. Robert finds a method employed by Tibetan monks works best for him. The moment he thinks a negative thought, he instantly cancels it. “I hit delete straight away,” he says. “And I affirm the opposite.” He then goes through a series of 'super affirmations', telling himself, “I am strong, I am powerful, I am loving, I am in balance, I am happy, I am perfect”. “At first you think, 'Who am I bullshitting?', but eventually you'll find you can work with these thoughts and switch them around. Keep affirming until you feel it,” Robert advises. Just before the session ends, Robert helps me create a goal to work towards. Instead of being aspirational, we word it like I've already achieved it and write it down on a little card that I can keep in my wallet. Robert instructs me to look at it periodically and to visualise myself doing what it says. We both decide a six-month bracket is enough time to achieve this particular objective. “I'm so happy and grateful that I...” it begins. And the rest is just for me to know. Email robertbridgeman.nu Visit robertbridgeman.com or lyonyoga.com. asialife HCMC 31