The key word in all of this is intentionality. As parents, we cannot just leave the spiritual wellbeing of our children to chance; parents must play an active role. Sometimes the temptation is to leave the spiritual raising of a child to “the church.” The church is important and plays a role, but the church cannot (and should not) replace the parent in a child’s spiritual development.
For example, if we want our child to be a servant like Jesus (Mark 10:45), then as the child gets into the preschool years, we begin teaching the child about serving others. As the child moves into elementary and middle school, we do community service projects together. During the junior high and high school years, we send them (or better yet, we go with them!) on mission trips out of town, state or country. Having a heart for loving and serving others isn’t just going to happen; it has to be intentionally cultivated, exemplified and experienced for a child.
Every statistic and article I’ve ever read on children and teens has shown parents have much more spiritual influence than the church. The most powerful and influential sermons preached to children are by the parents. As parents, we have to be intentional in teaching them the things of God. We have to remember that our children are not really our children; they belong to God. They are simply on loan to us for a short time. What that looks like for each child is different based on the unique personality God has given each particular child, but the end goal is to raise children who are deep, passionate followers of Christ. From there, parents must pray through and begin to figure out what the bull’s-eye is for their particular child. Will you hit the bull’s-eye perfectly? Of course not. But I’d rather miss the bull’s-eye God led me to aim for with my kids by a few inches and at least know what I was aiming for than get to graduation day with my fingers crossed, hoping for the best.
So how does a parent figure out the bull’s-eye? Here are a few ideas: • Pray and ask God to give you wisdom and vision for how to be intentional. • Envision the type of adult you hope your child will become and write that out in a paragraph or two. This vision will often come from things you/your family values, hopefully based on biblical principles. • Once you dream and list a few core values, begin looking for ways to intentionally cultivate those in your children. For example, I place a high value on service, so we teach our kids about service and give then opportunities to serve. We want our kids to be biblically literate, so before our kids could even walk, we began reading stories out of a children’s Bible to them each night at bedtime. I value a sense of humor, so I make sure we laugh a lot at my house. Beginning with the end in mind and working to be intentional to do all we can to hit that target is not easy, but it is rewarding and worth it. God has entrusted me with one of the most precious resources I’m ever going to have; one of my targets is to one day hear the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant,” both in how I served Him in my vocation and in my family. Bill Newton is youth minister at First Baptist Church, Hot Springs. He and his wife Raynetta have two children, Korin and Josiah.
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