wo old high school friends who hadn’t seen each other in years were getting together for a weekend. Steve picked up Jon from the airport, and they headed to Steve’s house in the country. As they made the final turn onto the old, dusty dirt road that ended at Steve’s house, Jon noticed something on the side of the barn that was nothing short of amazing: 12 targets with the center of each bull’s-eye shot out. “Steve, that is incredible! Where in the world did you learn to shoot like that?” Jon asked in amazement. “Oh, it’s easy” Steve replied. “I shot the hole first, then drew the bull’s-eye around it!” Steve’s approach is brilliant—if you want to use it to play a trick on your friends. Sadly, however, Steve’s approach to shooting a bull’seye is how many parents approach parenting. When we first become parents, we have big hopes and dreams for our kids. Before long, however, the busyness of life—work, play and family schedules—causes us to push those hopes and dreams aside, and we think, “I’ll do that with them later.”
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The result is often a time of regrets for the parent as their child moves into adulthood. Graduation occurs, and we send them off into the world thinking to ourselves, “Why didn’t I . . . ?” and “If I could do it all over again, I’d . . .” The ideas of a perfect family and parents without regrets are as mythical as the unicorn. However, there is a way to make the most of the time with our children in shaping them to be who God has for them to be and to minimize the regrets. Unlike Steve, who just scattershot and then drew a target around wherever the shot landed, we must be intentional in how we raise our children if we are going to raise them to be deep, passionate followers of Christ. If I’m planning a family trip to the beach, I don’t just say, “We are going to the beach, and we are going to have a great time” and two months later hop in the car and take off. No. I make plans based on my bull’s-eye for the trip: I research places to stay and things to do when we get there; I figure a budget for the trip; I find some fun things to do while we are there; I map out the best route to take us to our destination. Then, when we are on the trip, my family experiences the payoff of all that planning and work. I begin with the
Arkansas Christian Parent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fall/Winter 2012
vision of a great family vacation in mind and then begin to plan how to make that vision become a reality. It’s the same with the children God has entrusted us with. If they are to become the people who God made them to be, we have to be intentional about raising them to be disciples of Christ. We have to ask the question, “When this child graduates from high school and goes out on his or her own, what does God want this child to be like? What does this child need to know?” Once we have that end picture in mind, we begin working backwards to figure out how to make that happen.