LAW, LITERATURE & LAUGHTER (cited hereinafter as "LLL"j
April 15 being the deadline for the "LLL" installment published on or about July I, this column was written while heavily under the influence of Tax Simplification Syndrome. When the Tax Reform Act of 1986 was first passed, we all saw varying versions of "simplified" forms, most of which called for an individual to calculate his income, add whatever other money he had and send it all off to Washington. I don't think anyone - even the CPAs and board certified tax attorneys - anticipated the "To Be Revised Telephone Book" doctrine. This phrase refers to the thick set of forms and instructions we received in January. Little did we realize that, when we read them in April, they would tell us that further laws and regulations mayor may not have been enacted or promulgated, varying from or countermanding the instructions and other contents thereo!. As logical as it seems, though, I guess we should have expected something like that. Speaking of logic, consider these other gems of wisdom from this year's tax forms and instructions: From Form 8582 and Instructions therefor: "Before completing Parts II and m, see page 4 of the instructions for how to treat numbers as if they were all positive ... When a line instruction asks for the 'smaller of:
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"Modified adjusted gross income" (is MAGI an ironic acronym?) "for purposes of line 6 is computed without regard to taxable social security and railroad retirement benefits, without regard to the allowable deduction under section 219 for qualified retirement contributions for the taxable year, and without regard to any passive activity loss." Without regard to apparently does not mean with contempt for. Hey, yo! Enough already. MEDICAL MALPRACTITIONERS TAKE NOTE: In April, New York Times reporter Gina Kolata reported that 36 people developed botulism as a result of eating chopped garlic at a restaurant in Vancouver. All 36 survived, but only three were correctly diagnosed - a mother and her two teenagers, who collapsed in partial paralysis alter reaching a Montreal hospital. The correct diagnosis came some two months after the initial "outbreak." The misdiagnoses ran the gamut from
By Vic Fleming treat the line entries as if they were positive numbers when taking into consideration which is the smaller number." Is that scary or what? From Form 8606: "Note: You ccmnot take a deduction for any part of the deductible contributions you are treating as nondeductible." Thank you very much. From Form 1040's Instructions: "If you are married filing a separate return and your spouse itemizes deductions, or if you are a dualstatus alien, you cannot take the standard deduction even if you were 65 or over or legally blind." Even if I was over what, a barrel? From Form 8582 Instructions:
stroke to psychiatric disorder to myasthenia gravis. JURORS TAKE NOTE: Last April in Ft. Worth, Kevin Baeird refused to take off his cowboy hat in a jury assembly room. A judge declared him in contempt. Three days in jail later, Baeird apologized to lhe court and was released. ADVERTISING LAWYERS TAKE NOTE: In ApriL I read that a Wisconsin attorney was forced to withdraw advertisements in which he stated that if he did not win DWI cases he would give clients lO-speed bicycles. Another out-of-state colleague, specializing in divorce practice, was told to cancel TV ads showing a chain saw at work on the "family sofa" and later hovering over the family dog. For this cautionary informalion, you don't owe mea dime! 0 Copyright 1988 by Vic Fleming