A Peaceful Mind Issue 9

APM SHE LEAVES A LITTLE SPARKLE WHEREVER SHE GOES

ISSUE 9

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

14

TABLE OF CONTENTS FROM THE EDITOR… Is it safe to say that the holiday season is here? Although we may not be on holidays yet, we are spending almost every spare minute shopping for presents or making decorations to cover the house.

2 Do I Love Myself Enough to Be Grounded

LAUREN JOBSON LIFE COACH

10 How to Get More From Your Sales People

pENNY VOTZOURAKIS CUSTOMER SERVICE

Can you feel the holiday spirit? I know the more I feel it the less I want Monday morning to come.

To help ease you into it this year we’ve gifted you our special Christmas edition pullout, full of recipes, crafts and gift ideas. Hopefully we can help to make things a little easier for you this year and leave you with more time for enjoyment.

Our wonderful writers have finished the year off with a bang. Their fabulous tips and tricks for this summer and holiday season are perfect for any occasion.

So, kick back and relax with our final issue for the year. We have loved all your input and wish you a safe and happy New Year.

Hayley MartIn NUTRITION

14 What Happens When You Have A Disorganised Week

6 Use it Or Loose it – A Beginners Guide to Weight Training

LENA TURVEY

FITNESS

Taylah Parker Editor

8 The Hidden Rules of Success

editor@apeacefulmind.com.au

10

4 ‘Tis The Season to be Jolly…

HELEN JOMOA

Be Kind, Courageous and Confident.

4

helen treloar BUSINESS

PRODUCTIVITY 16 Does My Bum Look Big In This?

BECKIE WHITE STYLIST

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

40 26

26 Hidden Romantic Gestures

AMANDA MALLIA

THE MAN’S PERSPECTIVE

ADVERTISE WITH US Email your ad for approval to editor@apeacefulmind.com.au $60 per issue – direct link to your web site

WRITE FOR US

18 Traffic Generation – What is Link Building? (Part 3 of 3)

31

JULIE BOURKE TECHNOLOGY

28 Who’d Have Staff! … ME 20 Fanny Dusack – Dreaming Your Own Destiny

joanne clark NLP 23 The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

book revIew

PIPPA HANSON

A PERSONAL JOURNEY

ENGAGE WITH US

31 Christmas Guide

Recipes, Presents & More HOLIDAY SEASON

34 Christmas Guide

Recipes Presents & More

ROBIN SHARMA

HOLIDAY SEASON TOOL

24 A Dancer’s Resilience

40 Nat Smith

HELEN TRELOAR

Part 1 – From AFP – Barbados

S O U L F O O D

Would you love to be a guest writer for APM? We are always looking for fabulous content that is suitable for Women that Educates ~ Inspires ~ Informs and grows our knowledge and choices.

GUEST WRITER

HELP US TO HELP OTHERS

Our APM Writers …

Maree Eddin gs

Hayley Martin Lauren Jobson Life Coach tips and techniques to move you towards your goals in life

Helen Treloar Business & Leadership tips & articles for SME & start-ups

Beckie Wh ite Style your wardrobe & your life using Beckie’s secrets & suggestions

Nutritional advice, recipes & wellness articles to elevate your health

Helen Jomoa Fitness strategies and interesting facts to boost your vitality

Kirsten Basford The anti-marketing marketing guru magnifying your brand

Pen n y Votzourakis Customer service advice to grow sales and client loyalty

Julie Bourke Technology is in everyone’s life! Julie helps you use it and protect it well

Joan n e Clark Bringing you NLP Success Principles through ‘Women in History’ pieces

Exploring energy and how it flows or blocks your personal power

Len a Turvey Productivity and organisation queen bringing you tips and techniques

Aman da Mallia Go behind the curtain and into the male mind with Amanda

PIPPA HANSON Be inspired by Pippa’s personal journey as a business owner, mother and wife

She leaves a little

Sparkle wherever she goes

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

SELF LOVE SERIES – PART 1 Lauren Jobson – LIFE COACH

DO I LOVE M YSELF E NOU GH TO BE GROUNDED

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

Over the next 7 months I will be guiding others to connect, respect and love themselves deeply, in all the different areas of focus that we have in our lives.

For example; how is your health?

Do you have the most supportive and loving relationships?

How is your financial situation?

In the 10 years of coaching people and 5 years of teaching others to become coaches and educating them on the power of our minds, I have come to observe that most problems, if not all, come down to one very important aspect. And that is how much one has love for themselves.

I have asked many people what self love means to them and here are some of their answers:

• Looking after mind, body and soul.

• Spending time doing whatever makes you happy.

• Respect yourself.

• Unconditional love, no matter what!

• Believing in yourself.

• Confidence.

• Sometimes saying no.

• Forgiving myself.

• Not beating yourself up but laughing at yourself kindly.

• Making every effort to like yourself.

These are all really great responses to a concept that can be quite misunderstood.

Self love is not about being of service to others, being too self indulged or being pretentious. Rather, self love is such a birth right and preface to how we express ourselves in the world and also too, how we experience our lives. If we don’t have enough self love, it can manifest in many different ways, having detrimental effects in many areas of our lives.

How connected do you feel with yourself in ways that you can make great decisions?

Do you set inspiring achieve them?

goals

and

Are you comfortable to ask for what you need and want, and are you able to receive those gracefully?

Since we all have so many things to focus on in life, different roles to fulfil and areas that can always be improved for living a happier life, let’s focus step by step on one area together, to make sure you can have the life of your dreams!

The order in which I will be sharing with you the area of life for us to focus on, will be structured in a particular way for a beautiful purpose. Let’s start with your foundations, and make sure you are feeling like you are first worthy of all the great things life has to offer you!

Check inside now; How worthy do you believe you are? Do you feel safe and secure no matter what life brings you?

Be honest in this now and with this awareness we can progress forward working on feeling grounded in who we are and loving who we are!

In every cell of your being do you feel worthy to have the life you have always imagined?

Please, with kindness and daily forgiveness of yourself, take note of your honest responses to these questions.

Journal any beliefs that may be blocking you from feeling worthy, safe & secure in being you. In my next article we will explore together how we can build on your worthiness and will look at the relationship you have with your body and your health.

Until then, observe your thoughts, thank them and then forgive any criticism or negativity that might come up. Think of as many positive things as you can about yourself, whilst always being gentle and simply aware.

Feel free to share any blocks or questions you may have around these questions I have asked you to answer.

I’d love to hear from you and I’m very excited to share this self love series with you as we journey together step by step.

All my love & faith in your potential,

Lauren

So for now, just simply ask yourself; "what does self love mean to me?"

How healthy do you feel your own self love is?

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

‘TIS THE SEASON to be jolly…

Hayley Martin - Nutrition

...let loose, enjoy lots of comfort foods and good company! 'Tis also the season when most of us tend to not worry too much about our health. It's all fun and games until you can't do the top button on your pants up, and January 1st rolls around, and we're frantically trying to set New Years resolutions usually starting with a generic 'get healthy and fit'... The festivities are over, it's been a hoot and you're thinking it’s time to renew the gym membership or vowing to quit sugar because you definitely had your share (and maybe a few others) with all the extra helpings of Grandma's Christmas trifle...

Here's 10 tips to help avoid any unnecessary stress and handle the holidays in a healthy way:

1. Begin each day with a large glass of water (hot or cold) and fresh squeezed lemon.

Goodness: Highly alkalising, decreases water retention, cleanses the liver and other bodily tissues and provides electrolytes.

2. Eat a nutritious breakfast.

Goodness: Sets the intention for healthier choices throughout the day and keeps you sustained during busy times.

3. Be prepared for the day ahead.

There's nothing worse than being absolutely ravenous when you're out and about doing Christmas shopping - ALWAYS have a few a essentials with you: water, fresh fruit or nuts are great!

Goodness: Avoid any 'hangry' (anger caused from being hungry) outbursts or breakdowns and mindless spending/ snacking.

4. Keep up the H2O! I love adding fresh fruits, cucumber or a couple of drops of essential oils to my water sometimes to mix things up.

Goodness: Hunger is commonly confused with dehydration, staying hydrated will keep food cravings at bay and also keep your skin smooth, supple and you'll probably find that any wrinkles aren't as deep or noticeable - win!

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

5. Swap out sugar sometimes.

Have honey, stevia, rice malt syrup and coconut nectar on hand.

Goodness: Avoid blood sugar imbalances, weight gain, 'sugar crashes' and running your immune system down.

6. Keep a 90/10 or an 80/20 rule in mind.

I recommend eating delicious and nutritious foods every chance you get so you can relax and enjoy yourself at functions and special occasions.

Goodness: Its not complicated always a bonus. Know your body is getting good nutrients and avoid that guilty feeling when you treat yourself and indulge!

7. Adding smart supplements like a multivitamin, vitamin C, fish oil and probiotics will support your immune system all year round but especially during the general stress of the festive season with late nights, crowded shopping centres and a bit of overindulging.

Goodness: Keep your immune system in check!

Goodness: Promotes a light flexible energy, relieves that sluggish, bloated feeling and is great to get back in tune with your body.

9. Take time to do those domestic tasks like grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning - you'll thank yourself later.

Know what's coming up for the week - when you've got the work Christmas party, BBQ's with friends and when you're eating at home so you can organise your week and aren't making trips to the supermarket every day. Plan what meals you’re having at home and even precook a couple or have the ingredients chopped and ready to go.

Goodness: You know what's going into your food and where it's coming from. You're not relying on restaurants, drive thru's or vending machines as your only food source.

10. Make time for yourself.

Many people find this difficult especially at this time of year and I'm here to tell you, it's not selfish and you deserve a little 'you time' every day so don't hold back!

Sleep in, sit back with a cup of tea, read a book, flip through a magazine, do some yoga or meditate, take a bath and relax.

Even 10 minutes a day will be beneficial.

Goodness: Promotes a positive mindset making not so enjoyable tasks easier to deal with - Happy Mind, Happy Life.

This holiday season, be gentle and kind to yourself. Accept that you will more than likely eat something that is not good for your health, lose the guilt - if you're going to eat it you may as well ENJOY IT, right?!

To your health & happy holidays,

Hayley

8. Keep it clean especially if you have overindulged a bit. Give your digestion a break by doing a one day juice cleanse, juicing until dinner then eating something light and nutritious or eat raw whole foods for a couple of days.

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

Use it or Loose it A Beginners Guide to Weight Training Helen Jomoa⏐FITNESS Weight

training

is

useful

for

everyone because it has so many wonderful benefits.

• Reduces body fat Increases muscle mass and helps burn calories more efficiently.

• Burn calories when resting After weight training you will burn more calories for several hours after finishing your session (due to Exercise

Post

Oxygen

Consumption - EPOC) • Helps increase and maintain muscle mass Muscle mass decreases with age • Develops strong bones and reduces risk of osteoporosis Muscles pull on the bones through weight training, which increases bone density.

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015 Photo Credit: Helen Jomoa

• Builds endurance Muscles will be stronger and you won’t get tired as easily.

WHAT TO USE overweight as they can be done Strength or resistance training can

a day between strength training

seated and with back support.

be done anywhere at home or at the gym, here are some common

• Give your muscles time to recover

• Aim for about 3 x 30 minute

HOW TO DO IT

sessions a week

choices.

According to the American College guidelines,

• Start with basic moves first to

weight, to do push ups squats, pull

beginners should do at least two

master the correct posture, avoid

ups etc. Great as you always have

days per week of any type of

injury and get the most muscle

it with you!

strength-training

activation.

• Body weight – use your body

of

Sports

Medicine

exercise.

Your

workout should consist of 8 to 12 This

repetitions each of 8 to 10 different

provides

exercises working all the major

resistance when stretched. It has

muscle groups -- chest, back,

the advantage of being easy to

shoulders, arms, abdominals, and

store if you live in a small space.

legs. (A repetition is how many

• Resistance lightweight

tubing tubing

times you lift the weight, pull the • Free

weights –

barbells

and

rubber tubing, do a pushup, etc.)

dumbbells are traditional training tools that provide more resistance than the above.

• Choose a weight or resistance that is

heavy

enough

to

tire

you

muscles after 12 repetitions, when

• Weight machines – can be used

you can easy do more reps of a

at home or at the gym, these are

certain exercise gradually increase

helpful

the weight or resistance.

for

people

who

are

• An exercise professional can help write a program for you and help with correct technique Mild muscle soreness is normal, but swollen joints or sharp pains are indicators that you have over done it. Listen to your body so that you avoid injury. It is always advisable to consult your medical professional before starting your exercise program.

Helen

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

The Hidden Rules Of Success Helen Treloar - BUSINESS

The owners asked… if one of us gave up our full time job ($150k income) to work exclusively in this business,

The new TV Show ‘Shark Tank’ has

concerned by the hours the business

begun.

owners have spent..and are spending

would that change things? Too late!

in their business.

I was stunned!

we, the audience, watch as fledgling

One idea, which was initially met with

One Shark stayed with the pitch and

businesses present their unique and

enthusiastic support from all Sharks,

ended up creating a really flexible offer

personal products and services to a line-

went sour quickly for all but one Shark,

that was accepted. A happy ending

up of 5 Australian Entrepreneurs, in a bid

when the two owners mentioned that

was created.

to win their personal investment for a

they both held fulltime jobs in order to

share

fund the business and their families.

Similar to ‘Dragon’s Den’ from the UK,

of

their

business.

Each

entrepreneur is a multi millionaire and

My mind stayed on the RULES of the Sharks who would not invest. They

proven winner in business in their own

The Aussie Entrepreneurs launched

have every right to have rules as to

right. They have the serious runs on the

into the history of sleeping in offices in

when they give their money away, no

board to prove it.

shared bedrooms with their children

problem with that theory in any way.

and selling their houses and putting it

The interest I had was more in the

What I have found to be most interesting,

‘all’ on the line; and indeed made it

rules themselves.

and from the hours of TV I have seen of

clear that they were not willing to back

the two shows noted above to date, is

the business as these owners were not

Let’s say that the rule I witnessed, if

that unlike the British investors, their

risking it all or committing to it 100%.

written

Australian

counter-parts

are

very

as

a

rule,

something like this…

would

read

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

If you work in your business 100%

pointless rules that place unnecessary

of the time and have no other

limits upon people, in order for the rule

income and have every personal

makers to feel more certain.

wanted for themselves each year and a wholesale price range for family & friends

asset on the line; IT MEANS that you are focused, committed and

Who says that working a full time job

willing to do whatever it takes to

whilst

make this business a success.

business idea will fail or is not showing

developing

a

fabulous

new

commitment? Why not instead, look for The presuppositions of this rule are

what has been achieved to date by

my concern:

using this strategy, and see where the

After

these

implemented;

new

rules

sickies

were

stopped

(I

mean stopped), petty theft from products in store was non existent, productivity from happy and valued employees jumped through the roof.

strategy has worked?

The rule pre-supposes that:

It’s a little like traditional psychology As a GM I 'massaged' quite a number

• Not

risking

everything

is

not

commitment

a

• Not working in the business will mean it will fail • Having

a

second

income

fabulous

culture

that

promoted

divorced

Here are just a couple of rules I broke:

marriages fail – whereas positive

couples

and

ask

why

psychology would instead, look at • The 9 - 5 working day became 8.15 to 4.30 with 3.45 Friday finish, as

whatever it takes

Traditional psychology might review

productivity and positive team work.

is

showing a lack of willingness to do

versus positive psychology.

of rules in order to create and maintain

successful marriages and ask what makes them work.

suited the customer base And so it goes on…

• Every employee had their Birthday

I must admit that when it comes to rules, my first port of call is to review the outcome the rule is there to achieve. There are many rules that I respect and obey and need – road rules for example. There are also a gazillion,

unwritten,

personal,

Whilst there is no argument to be

(or next working day following their

had

Birthday) off work, as a gift from the

significant runs on the board, as to

company - in addition to annual leave

what they believe is essential in

• If your child had a special event at

building a business; I choose to

school etc - you went along, no

believe that for the 5 Sharks on the

questions asked

panel of this show, there might be

with

people

who

have

• Every employee had a budget to take

another 50 who have opposing

from the product range whatever they

views as to what matters most when creating a successful business.

Of course, I could also be raving bonkers and have no idea what I am talking about - after all, I do not have the results of the Sharks!

Helen

NINE

How To Get More From Your Sales People

PENNY VOTZOURAKIS - CUSTOMER SERVICE

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

Happiness and success can be

So let’s take another look at these core

Connection is an important need to

attained

needs and see how they can help the

consider when dealing with your

when

we

meet

certain

needs that are shared by all human

employees. They want to work as a

employer/employee relationship:

team; building camaraderie so they

beings. These needs – certainty, growth,

The first need we’ll look at is certainty.

can play a bigger role in your

significance, and contribution – will

We all desire certainty. Employees

business. They, like most people,

help

our

especially want to know what future

want to feel that they are respected

customers and clients. But these

they have with the company. Does the

and loved.

needs can also help us relate to our

company have a business vision? Will

employees, which are our biggest

they pay the employee for the work he

The next need to look at is growth. If

asset in determining the success

or she has done? Will the company do

there is no growth, then we become

and profitability of our businesses.

its best to keep the employee safe and

stagnate.

to treat him or her right? Does the

stagnation

in

Business owners are often frustrated

employee

employees

become

when they don’t understand their

expected of him or her? Answering

unmotivated, which will eventually

workers – how they think or what

these questions will help build up

affect the bottom line. There needs

motivates them. It is the job of a

that..employer/employee

to be innovation in a business so

leader to know how his or her

relationship.

the company can grow and move

uncertainty,

us

connection,

better

relate

to

understand

what

is

when

there

the

is

workplace, bored

and

forward.

employees function, what makes them tick, and what needs must be

The

met to help them become their very

uncertainty. Some uncertainty in life

The

best and reach their full potential.

can actually have a positive outcome.

contribution. When employees feel

Employees want some fun while they

they are contributing to the success

Communication is always important,

work. This cuts down on boredom, and

of a business, when they are able to

and this starts during the interview

helps to inspire them, keep them

participate in the process, and when

phase. A good leader needs to make

interested in the project, and promote

they can help make other people

sure

creativity. A little uncertainty creates

happy, then they will develop a

challenge,

sense of fulfillment.

the

understands

potential and

aligns

employee him

or

herself with the company’s vision,

opposite

which

of

certainty

can

help

is

an

last

need

to

look

at

is

employee grow.

Each employee will have a different

values, and beliefs. When upper

And

management gets too wrapped up in

The

significance.

need. Knowing the need(s) and

its own agenda and fails to keep

Employees want their employer to care

being able to help your employee

open lines of communication, then

about them and their needs. They

meet this need or needs, will help

an employee will lack certainty, will

want to know that they and their

you connect with your workers in a

miss the opportunity to make a

opinion matters. If you show your

way that will benefit both your

contribution to the business, and will

employees that you trust their ability,

company and them.

end up feeling undervalued and

then they will try to be better and they

unappreciated.

will work hard to please you.

next

need

is

Penny V ELEVEN

helentreloar.com

coaching & training

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE9 2015

What Happens WHEN YOU Have A DISORGANISED WEEK? Lena Turvey - Productivity

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE9 2015

This week has been a disorganised

disrupted. When this happens, think of

just always catering to other people’s

week. Yes it happens to all of us, it’s

the diet and get back on that wagon as

priorities (urgent stuff!).

called life. Something comes up and the

soon as you can. Don’t get trapped into

normal weekly routine is thrown into

that thinking of, well I have already failed

chaos. What do you do? You certainly

so I might as well stay down here.

Take the time to plan when you will get to the jobs that give you pleasure, things that make you feel good. If you

don’t give up and decide your system Build in some slack when you planning

love filing (no really there are people

your week to help mop up those busier

who love filing!) then use that time as

It’s like a diet, you fall off the wagon and

than normal times. Give yourself some

a reward after completing some jobs

gorge on all the lovely things you have

time off to recuperate. You can’t help

that are not your favourites.

been trying not to eat for weeks. Do you

anyone if you too run down yourself.

isn’t working!

Overall, your week should reflect a

give up and decide diets don’t work?

No, you pick yourself up, and start the diet again. Perhaps put in place some new ideas to stop it happening the next time.

When planning your week, ensure you

work/life balance for you, whatever

give yourself enough time to work on the

that is for you. If not, maybe it’s time

important things, not just the urgent

to rewrite your life the way you want

ones. It’s a bit like saving money; you

it.

take out the money you want to save

life/balance looks like.

Start by planning every week before

from your pay before anything else and

you’re in it. Depending what day you

live on what you have left, not the other

start on, plan for the week ahead. Work

way around.

out what days will be busier than others and plan accordingly.

Plan to give yourself the gift of time during the week to work on your income

Sometimes you have no such warning

producing activities or those that are

that your normal life routine will be

most important in your job, rather than

I’d

love

to

know

what

your

Until next time,

Lena FIFTEEN

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

Does My Bum Look Big In This?

“Covers of magazines should be celebrating how every body is unique in size, colour and shape.”

Beckie White⏐ Stylist

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

Please excuse my language, however

Because here’s the thing... it’s never

Instead

it’s a question I'm sure you have

about us! It’s about whether the fit of

skirt/dress/pant

asked either yourself or someone else

the clothes is right for you!

shape?” If the answer is “it’s not the

many times when looking in the mirror

and trying on a garment.

What leads me into this discussion is

the question of WHY?

Why do we as women berate and

belittle the parts of us that our

makes us women? partner’s love and

ask

yourself

“Does

suit

my

this

bottom

most flattering,” move on to another I was watching the ‘Today Show’ recently and they were discussing this

shop

and

find

a

something that

flatters your body shape and size.

month's Elle magazine featuring Rebel Wilson. The Editor was saying that

This may take a few goes - and that’s

she had to fight to get Rebel put on

ok! When buying a car we don’t

the cover because of the assumption

always buy the first one we see. We

that bigger girls don’t sell magazines.

test drive it, sit in it and make sure its a great match for us. This should be a

It

fascinates

me

that

the

big

advertising agencies and magazines aren’t doing more to get varied body image accepted more widely. It’s not about getting a larger or 'plus size' model on the cover every now and then. It’s about getting lots of body varieties appearing on the covers of magazines frequently.

Covers

of

magazines

similar experience for us when we are buying clothes. We are so fortunate today, that we are inundated with choices

and

understand

options can

(which

be

I

daunting

sometimes), however there are so many varying brands and cuts of clothing and so few size regulations that certain brands are best suited for

should

be

celebrating how every body is unique in size, colour and shape. If, as a society, we did this more often, then I believe the message we would be

certain shapes.

Sure it’s about finding what works for you, however it’s also about being curious and being brave to try things on and give things a go.

sending to our young adults would be a much healthier one.

Remember

to

LOVE

your

Bum,

because it’s the only one you have!

Which leads me back to the topic of discussion “Does my bum look big in

If you have any personal questions

this?”

you would like answered about what brands

I would like to encourage all women

would

suit

your

shape

please drop me a line.

like you and me to have a healthier view of our bodies. To be able to accept them no matter what our size and shape is, because the truth is, we can look fabulous in anything. Instead

Stylishly yours...

Beckie

of asking the question “Does my bum look big in this?” – flip it to be gentler

on your soul.

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

Traffic Generation

what is Link Building?

Part THREE of a three Part Series Julie Bourke⏐ Technology that easily consumed online and offer an

Link building is the practice of

Now,

generating incoming links to your

quality and relevant incoming link. This immediate value. Publishing this content

website.

means, and it’s quite important, that the right on your website will generate traffic

notice

that

I

said

websites linking to your web pages are in to your website.

Links are actually generated by using a number of tactics and we’ll discuss many of them here. Link building often works as part of an integrated approach. For example, article marketing which was our first method is actually a link building tactic as well because each website that publishes your articles is also creating a link to your website.

How Link Building Works Link building creates traffic in a number of ways. The first is that when you have a relevant and quality link coming into your website or web page, the search engines recognise that link and it can be used to move you higher in the page

a relevant industry and are reputable websites. In general this isn’t a problem.

The only mistake to make here is to register or create relationships with link farms. These are websites that link to everyone

and

everything

and

thus

devalue any link from them to you. Steer clear of link farms. You will risk being banned from Google altogether if you utilise these.

are

engine ranking for specific pages on your site by linking to them on other website pages.

For example, if you’re trying to generate traffic to your opt-in page, you can create links to that page by embedding links in content you publish on your website.

How to Get the Job Done There

You can also help improve the search

several

ways

to

create

incoming links. The first and perhaps the most significant is to write such great content that people are motivated to share it with others by linking it in their own content, on blogs, and in their social networking interactions.

rankings. The theory behind the search engine algorithms approach

This is often called, “Linkbait,” because it

is that if your web page has a lot of

works just like a worm on a hook.

There are actually different types of links and each has its own purpose. The various types of links include: • Standard link - a direct link which looks like a basic website address – www.yourwebsitehere.com.

• Text link - link where the website address is embedded in the text. Used in

your

content,

blog

posts

and

articles.

quality links coming to it, the page must be worthy of attention and

What makes great Linkbait? Reviews, • Deep link – a link to an internal web

therefore a higher page ranking.

lists, tips, and how to articles are all

page, for example an article published

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015 on a website, rather than the home

However, once you’re registered, the

page.

information is shared with AOL Search,

• One way link – a link that comes into your site from another website.

• Reciprocal link – a link that goes to a

Taking Linking To The Next Level

Yahoo

Find out who is linking to your

Search, and hundreds of other sites. So

competition. There are online tools

it’s well worth the time and effort.

that can help you determine how many

Google,

Netscape

Search,

incoming links you have, and who

website where they also link to you.

they’re from. A quick google search will list plenty of these tools. You can

Business Directories & Linking What Does Linking and Directory Another

method

for

generating

Listings Cost?

also use some of these tools to find out who links to your competition.

incoming links is to register with relevant and quality directories.

This one is completely free. You can get upgraded listings with some business

For example Google and Yahoo are

directories, however, unless this is one

both great business directories to

of your main marketing tactics, the extra

register with. They create incoming

expense may not be worth it.

links

from

extremely

another directory, however doesn’t accept all websites and the process can take some time.

The goal is to generate quality and relevant links to your website. You can hire a webmaster or SEO expert like myself

to

help

you

create

a

link

generating strategy. However, it’s also something you can manage yourself with a little advanced planning and a goal (and of course the time).

links is to bulk up your website with top-level

content.

When

you’re

providing informative, entertaining and extremely

reputable

sources. Listings are free. DMOZ,

The best way to really build incoming

valuable

information,

everyone and their brother are going to be linking to you.

Julie

4 1 2 3

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

~Fanny Durack~

Dreaming your own Destiny Cause versus Effect Joanne Clark - NLP “Some people see things as they are

first Australian woman to bring home an

were given much less time in the

and say, why? I dream things that

Olympic gold medal. Her journey to glory

water – often only two hours per

never were and say, why not?” John

started in the surf at a Newcastle beach in

week and in competitions men and

F Kennedy (paraphrasing George

the late 1800’s where Fanny, who was 9

women weren’t even permitted to

Bernard Shaw.

years old at this time, got into difficulties.

swim

This defining incident inspired her and, in

program, and females couldn’t even

It is often in the most defining

that moment she chose to be at cause.

be watched in competition by men.

moments of life that we confront the

Fanny then set about learning how to

challenge of moving beyond how

swim and she did, like no other Australian

This

things are now into the uncertain

woman before her.

constraints

on

the

environment and

filled

barriers

same

with was

a

space of what could be instead. And it is precisely in these defining moments when we are determining our own destiny that we get the opportunity to choose to be at cause.

That is, to accept that we do have a choice and that we are responsible for our choices; or, be at effect – and blame

our

situation

onto

some

external circumstances which we believe are beyond our control and influence, thus becoming a victim of our circumstances.

The world was different then and swimming was a pursuit that was considered fraught with risk to women because it required attire that ‘revealed their body shape’

‘threatened

their modesty’. To protect women

from

what

was

to

be

the

believed

uncontrollable

urges

aroused in men exposed to women

Fanny Durack

and

in

such

attire,

segregated swimming was the

order

of

the

day,

Being a victim was not the choice

meaning men and women

that Fanny Durack made when she

could not occupy water at

began her journey to become the

the same time. Women

en.wikipedia.org

TWENTY

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015 serious impediment to women’s training

Olympic committee made the

and stifled the growth and popularity of

historic decision to include two

women’s swimming. But then there were

women’s races in swimming

the few who dreamed things that never

the opportunity was open for

were and said – why not!

Fanny Durack to realize her dreams. Imagine the stunned

So, with society’s limitations squarely upon her, the rebellious Fanny became even more determined to find a way to the top. Her method was to remain singularly focused on her outcome and disregard the restrictive authority figures who sought to contain her talents. With her training partner and close friend, Mina

Wylie,

beside

her,

and

the

encouragement from Mina’s father (who

shock when despite her world record successes she was left out

of

the

Olympic

Team

selected to go to Stockholm.

Apparently Olympic

the

Australian

committee

couldn’t

afford to send women! This outrageous decision led to loud public calls

for

her

to

be

en.wikipedia.org

allowed to compete in that

owned the Coogee baths) the two friends year’s Stockholm games. And whilst

outcry, the ridiculousness of the

others

to

ban from competing was seen for

By early 1912, this had resulted in Fanny

oppose Fanny’s inclusion on the

what it was and it was overturned.

setting world records in the 100 and 220

team,

more

A small number of women were

yard

enlightened and saw the situation very

allowed to compete – but only if

differently.

they could pay their own way. The

trained and competed where they could.

freestyle

events

in

local

competitions. When in the lead up to the

remained

the

determined

public

was

men? Well, they were funded.

1912 Stockholm Olympic Games the Eventually

with

the

rising

public The public support continued for

Fanny

to

represent

Australia at the Olympics and the money for travel and participation in the games was

raised

donation

by

public

meaning

Fanny

was set to go. Wonderful!

But now – what to wear?

Women’s

swimming

costumes were a source of acrimonious debate in 1912.

Neck

to

knee?

Neck

to

ankle? Sleeves? If so, what length? Finally a design was settled upon – a unitard with modernheritage.com.au/

long

stockings

attached.

TWENTYONE

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015 However, the Australian suit was, of

course, made of wool. Its absorption rate being much greater than the suits

coming from countries not riding on

the sheep’s back meant Fanny had to carry much more weight than her rivals.

Fanny had the support of her people and she knew that despite barriers that had been constantly placed in her way by some, in the end there was only one way to silence her critics.

Fanny won her heat – in world record time. She went on to win the final claiming Australia’s first ever women’s Olympic gold medal.

Fanny Durack was another Australian woman who chose to live her life at cause – seeing the external obstacles as nothing more than an illusion she followed

her

own

internal

truth,

dreaming her own destiny. From the moment she chose to swim, she chose to be responsible for her own outcomes. She pursued the training, the support, the competitions and experiences

that

would

fulfill

her

dream. And whilst her talent was always there it was her determination, fortitude,

flexibility

and

persistent

resilience that finally delivered her the universal applause so well deserved.

and training of NLP. Whilst it may sound like a relatively simple concept applying this principle to our everyday lives can prove

to

be

a

bit

challenging,

a

challenge that is made easier with the right support, guidance, training and action. It is also the path to personal power – for those of us who do wish to pursue our own destiny dreaming of

Being at cause not only delivered the

things that have never been, yet.

results for Fanny Durack, it also brought with it the added bonus of

Make today your day

women in sport.

Joanne

The concept of being at cause versus

breaking new ground for Australian

being at effect is a fundamental principal that underpins the practice

TWENTYTWO

3 1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

APM’s Book Review by lena Turvey

BY

“Alright, the secret of happiness is

life, such as this one; “You see, when

simple: find out what you truly love to

you insert any activity into your routine

do and then direct all of your energy

by doing it the same way at the same

towards doing it.”

time every day, it quickly grows into a habit.”

Sounds so simple, and it is, but how do you do that exactly? In a nutshell,

There were plenty of motivational or

read this book!

inspirational

quotes

peppered

throughout the text, which could be I love a book that wraps up life lessons in a narrative that flows off

useful to put up on your vision boards or as your screensaver on your computer.

the page. There is something about reading a story and then realising

“She told me that the best time to plant

that it’s not just a story but an

a tree was forty years ago. The second

illustration of a more complex idea

best time is today. Don’t waste even

made easier to understand.

one minute of your day.”

I even laughed out loud several times

Overall I loved this book so much I

throughout the story, at one such

bought the spin-off book “The secret

time I laughed mainly because I have

letters of the monk who sold his Ferrari”

used this very excuse for not having

as soon as I finished it. I think anybody

time for something.

could get something out of this book to implement into his or her day, even if it

“My friend, saying that you don’t have

is just a shot of inspiration.

time to improve your thoughts and your life is like saying you don’t have

What did you think of the book? I’d love

time to stop for gas because you are

to know.

too busy driving. Eventually it will Happy reading!

catch up with you.”

Each chapter contained relevant and practical

tips

for making

small

incremental changes to improve your

Lena xx

TWENTYTHREE

1 2 3

\

APM FOUNDER ~ HELEN TRELOAR

Soul Food A Dancer’s Resi l i e nce A strength of character Our youngest son was born to

The passion, commitment, energy and

whose behaviour could be labelled

dance. I can't recall a time in his life

spirit that pours from the performers is

as harsh as they appreciate the

to date, from when he was old

electrifying

talent and ability to sharpen their

enough to walk, where music did

effortless, as if we too, the untrained,

anything other than make him

could pop on stage and participate.

and

it

looks

almost

skills.

Not all influencers in the dance

move. Every day, literally, this boy dances. His dance peers, like him,

It belies the mental and physical

world are harsh - far from it, there

don't

are

journey of the dancer (and any other

are incredible people of influence

compelled to dance and sacrifice

elite athlete) who has been yelled at,

who understand human behaviour

much without question, resistance

put down, promoted then demoted,

as well as movement. There is in

or regret, for the opportunity to

injured, rejected, ignored, over-looked,

the dance world, just as in every

perform. He wants for nothing more

chastised

openly, pushed through

compartment of society, a wide mix

than to perform on a stage where

fatigue, segregated and disappointed.

of people from down right terrible

people

And still that burning desire to dance

to

and perform pushes and pulls them,

dancers is, they navigate their way

no, it propels

them through the

through all compartments and stay

On stage, with the dancers, lights,

journey to their single goal - the

focused on their 'why'. They have

music

performance.

no choice - if they walk out of every

like

to

are

dance,

they

moved

by

his

expression through dance.

and

choreography

all

amazing.

The

'thing'

with

studio or rehearsal where they are

blending as one, the audience is lulled into this state of wonder and

They keep turning up, sucking it up,

treated

awe. The end result of months of

putting it into a wider perspective,

disappointed, they wont have a

hard

few

seeing through the now into the bigger

career.

minutes of creative expression that

picture of the future, learning who to

has the ability to transport an

trust and who to be careful of. Heck,

As

audience to a different world.

at times, they even respect those

leadership coach, I often reflect on

physical work, is

a

a

unfairly

business

or

bitterly

strategist

and

TWENTYFOUR

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

“To rise above and soar” the mental agility of the dancer when

persecute and be inspired by those

Our son is not unique - he is a

coming

with

who he aspires to be like. He has a

dancer - dancers have a resilience

employees are

strength of character that I find

beyond

generally protected by anti-bullying

inspiring. He is loving, giving, caring

classrooms

policies and HR departments. Of

and genuine in his friendships and

experience the un-fairness of life as

course,

connections. He is wise beyond his

part of life, not life itself.

into

contact

business whose

these

components

of

are

necessary

business and

anything and

taught offices.

in They

are

years and focused on a goal that

there for a good reason. They don't

burns like a fire in his chest - he is

I can't help but wonder how much

exist in the arts! You don't like the

self motivated and driven to succeed,

more advanced we would be as a

way you are being treated by the

whilst supporting others to achieve

society, with mental resilience in our

'boss'? Move on - lose your place -

their goals. He admires his peers

tool

gain an industry 'tag'.

who, in his mind, are incredible

purpose?

talents. He takes disappointment and

A

Dancers are resilient, physically and

uses it as fuel to continue to develop

purposeful living, or as the in-word

mentally and yet they are also the

and improve. He never dwells in pity

of

most creative and generous group of

or sadness after a de-brief session in

'mindfully'.

people with big hearts and deep

the car; onwards and upwards would

passions. They laugh often and make

be this kids life tag line, and a new

many friends. They come together in

day

a spirit of 'we can' and they pull

opportunities.

His

together for the 'show'.

flexibility

neuroplasticity

brings

new

and

adventures

and

behavioural is

incredibly well developed and it is At 13, dancing for only 10 years, our son has already learned how to bounce back, stay focused, keep

showing up, disregard those who

kit.

Maybe

Peaceful

the

Mind

moment

it

starts

with

comes

from

states,

living

You are a vessel of pure potential; the only person who can realise that potential is YOU x

Helen

these traits, more than any others, that I believe will bring him success in life as a happy, good man.

TWENTYFIVE

1

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

Over the past 9 years I’ve spent

countless hours speaking with men

and

also

couples

about

their

relationships. And one issue that comes up time and time again is lack of romance.

Women often feel that if a man isn’t being romantic, he doesn’t care.

Men often feel pressured into being romantic, and they shut down on an emotional level.

Hidden Romantic Gestures

Why your man is more romantic then you might think

AMANDA MALLIA – The Man’s Perspective

So how do we bridge the gap?

Let’s start by looking at how men view romance.

YOUR

MAN

IS

ACTUALLY

A

TRUE ROMANTIC AT HEART You may be one of the women who have a romantic partner. He may bring you chocolates, buy you gifts or open doors for you.

Or you may feel like you missed out in that department all together.

But here’s the thing: many men show they care in unexpected ways.

All too often we define “romantic” in women’s terms, which have been swayed by mass consumerism. We gush over movies, songs or images in the media that portray extravagant gestures men “should” make to show they care.

We may get misty-eyed when we watch When Harry Met Sally or we

TWENTYSIX FOU

4 3 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

may swoon when Big and Carrie

“Once women can begin to explore this

your relationship, this new way of

reunite for the tenth time on Sex and

territory, a new world will open up for

thinking may just be the thing to ease

the City. We may also feel envy when

them,” says Hamilton. “They will begin to

your mind.

our girlfriend talks about how her new

understand and appreciate the subtleties

boyfriend surprised her with a bunch of

of

roses.

discover that men are not devoid of

men’s

emotional

make-up,

and

emotion.”

“When women see life from a purely When you sit back and have a good

comfortable stepping beyond it,” says

think, there are probably many things

Maggie Hamilton in What Men Don’t

your man does to show his love for you.

Talk About. “Too often we allow our

Sure, it may not be expensive perfume or

expressions of love to be shaped by

a candle-lit dinner for two, but these

films and advertising, and leave little

unconventional ways of showing he

room for genuine heartfelt gestures.”

cares shouldn’t be discounted.

Many men I have come across over

If you have always felt frustrated or

the years, express how they feel about

disappointed by a lack of romance in

may worry about their wife’s safety when she’s out late with her friends, they may give their partner a sleep-in while they look after the children in the morning, or they may simply call their loved one when they have a break in their busy schedule to see how they are.

Often men find practical ways to show they care about their loved one. And in turn, their loved one may overlook these gestures because they don’t fall into the traditional romantic category.

HOW TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP Stop allowing Hollywood to tell you what romance should look like. Start looking for those subtle, practical cues that your man puts out and you may feel

a

little

he does care.

joy

knowing

that

about it, are there non-traditional ways your partner shows he loves you?

female perspective, they don’t feel

their partner in their own way – they

Now it’s over to you: When you think

To

find

out

more

about

my

professional services exclusive to men, contact; info@amandamallia.com.au or telephone my office (+613) 9421 3120

Amanda

1 2 3

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

Who’d have staff! ..... ME.

Or wouldn’t running your business be easier if it wasn’t for the people!

Pippa Hanson ⏐ A Personal Journey People have often asked me about

the roster was filled then no

wanted for myself, flexibility when life

running my business and how

account at all was given for the

throws a challenge our way, family

many people work at the clinic.

actual human side of the role, the

friendly hours (that meet the business

When I mention that it is around

person. We are all human and

needs and the individual person’s

55, the next statement is usually an

from what I have experienced so

needs),

attempt at a joke about the hardest

far in life, is that at some time we

understanding and real compassion

part being the staff or if you didn’t

all pretty much go through similar

and relationships with everyone who I

have staff I’m sure that would

situations,

worked with.

make it more fun. It couldn’t be

ones, to getting married, having

further from the truth. When I

children,

started out in business I had a few

celebrations and the list goes on

principles that I didn’t want to shift

and on, it’s called life and it’s

on and one was how people were

called living.

from

losing

getting

loved

sick,

sport

friendly

hours,

To achieve this I have always tried to connect and communicate with people and be honest and open. There have been

times

when

the

tough

conversations have to be had about

treated in my workplace. I had worked in workplaces where as

I wanted a workplace where I

people’s behavior in the workplace,

long as the roles were getting filled,

could offer the same things that I

however, I have always taken the

TWENTYEIGHT

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

human approach. I have never

about 8 weeks after she left, she

Communicating

with

yelled, screamed or shown anger.

rang me and thanked me for being

behaviors

attitudes

That doesn’t mean I agree or

the shakeup she needed to follow

workplace that don’t align with the

support the behavior but the past

her

nice

company values can uncover other

is the past, it’s done, and I can’t

person, however, her behavior and

issues that are actually the root of the

change

actions

my

behavior. From trauma outside of the

communicate and manage the

workplace. To this day we have

workplace to more training needed in

situation and the future.

kept in touch.

the workplace and many other hidden

that

I

can

only

dreams. She

were

was

disruptive

a

in

or

staff

about in

the

gems, over the years I have then I have had staff send abusive

I remember a lovely female staff

been able to assist with and offer

emails

accidentally!

member who was really struggling

solutions

I have had staff have the same

with morning sickness. She was

wonderful team.

day off the month off every month

having some time off and hours

over a long period of time.

adjusted so that she could manage

Not all conversations are easy to

at work, and she said to me It

have or enjoyable to have and I still

would be so much easier if I was a

have days when I have to put extra

horrible boss, because then she

effort into having the difficult talks. In

wouldn’t feel guilty or bad about

the end good communication is the

having time off. That was so lovely

secret

to hear as it resonated with my

everyone and a great workplace. So

goals of having a workplace where

would it be easier to have a business

people wanted to be, were happy to

with no staff. NO WAY!

to

clients,

Very early on in being a business owner I had a staff member that was having a huge amount of time off work, she didn’t appear to have anything else going on in her life and I asked her what her dreams were, her ideal job, and she gave her

answer.

I suggested

she

followed that dream as I didn’t think

she

was

happy

at

my

be and cared about each other, including the bosses!

and

to

support

great

to

outcomes

our

for

Pippa

workplace. She moved on and

THIRTY

APM YOUR GUIDE TO HAVING THE PERFECT HOLIDAY SEASON

HOLIDAY PULLOUT

1 2

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

The PERFECT CHRISTMAS LUNCH STARTER RAW ZUCCHINI PASTA Hayley martin - true form health

Photograph: Hayley Martin | True Form Health

INGREDIENTS •

1 brown onion

•

2 celery sticks (or a good handful of green beans)

WHAT TO DO: Don't fret if you don't have a fancy zucchini pasta maker - you can just use a trusty old potato peeler and go to town!

•

2 carrots

SAUCE / TOPPING

•

2 garlic cloves

Finely chop veggies and saute in saucepan with 1 tbs coconut oil until they start to soften.

•

115g dried split lentils (if you don't have time to soak, canned lentils are fine)

•

400g chopped tomatoes

•

500ml vegetable stock

•

1 tbs coconut oil (or olive)

•

2 tbs tomato paste (optional)

•

4 zucchinis

•

fetta and fresh coriander (to garnish)

Add all other ingredients (except zucchini's), stir and bring to boil then reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes or until cooked...

Serve with chopped coriander and crumbled feta!

For more delicious recipes go to www.trueformhealth.com.au

THIRTYTWO

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

The PERFECT CHRISTMAS Dinner RAINBOW SALAD WITH PRAWNS

Photograph: Hayley Martin | True Form Health

INGREDIENTS • • • • • • • • • •

1 cup cauliflower 1 carrot 2 shallot stalks and/ or half small red onion, finely chopped 2 small zucchini 1/2 cup pepitas and/ or sunflower seeds (lightly tossed optional) alfalfa shoots and/ or rocket leaves, roughly chopped 120 grams prawns, cooked and peeled 1/2 cucumber, chopped 1/2 avocado 4 cherry tomatoes, quartered

WHAT TO DO: Grate (by hand or using a blender with grater attachment) carrots, zucchini, cauliflower. Add remaining ingredients and dressing.

SIMPLE MAYO DRESSING – INGREDIENTS • • • • •

1 egg 1 teaspoon dijon or seeded mustard juice of a lemon 2/3 cup olive oil salt to taste

WHAT TO DO: Whiz all ingredients except oil in a food processor (or by hand) for 30 seconds until combined. Very slowly drizzle in oil until mayo is thick and smooth – you can do this with the motor still running on low or if by hand whisk, whisk, whisk!

For more delicious recipes go to www.trueformhealth.com.au

THIRTYTHREE

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

The PERFECT CHRISTMAS DESSERT PISTACHIO BASE CHEESECAKE

Photograph: Hayley Martin | True Form Health

INGREDIENTS

• • • • • •

750 grams cream cheese (room temperature)

1/2 cup rice malt syrup 1 egg

3 tablespoons coconut cream

2 tablespoons sour cream dash of vanilla bean extract

BASE: • • • •

1 cup pistachios (shelled) 1 cup desiccated coconut 1 cup LSA (or almond meal) 120 grams unsalted butter (softened)

4. Press into your baking tin evenly and pop in the oven for 5-8 minutes.

5. Remove and allow to cool completely.

6. While your base cools, add all other ingredients to bowl and mix (careful not to over-mix or allow too much air to get into your filling).

7. Spoon into tin on top of the base and smooth over before baking in the oven for 20 - 30 minutes.

8. Place in the fridge for at least 2 hours to firm before serving and sprinkle crumbled pistachio and coconut over the top to decorate.

INSIDE GOODNESS:

WHAT TO DO: 1. Preheat oven to 160° and line a 23cm springform tin with baking paper.

2. Grind pistachios in a food processor until crumbly and fine.

3. Combine nuts with coconut, LSA and butter and get your hands in there to make the dough.

This recipe is pretty much fool proof which makes me love it even more! And it's gluten free for anyone that's interested... Delish!

Serve with chopped coriander and crumbled feta!

For more delicious recipes go to www.trueformhealth.com.au

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

8 Simple Table Place Settings for your XMAS table Tips and tricks to help make Christmas a little bit easier Working out where everyone sits for Christmas dinner can be a little tricky. So… having planned out seating arrangements prior to eating means everyone can quickly start enjoying the delicious meal that you have created.

Find More Ideas at - pinterest.com - marthastewart.com - countryliving.com - bhg.com Images taken from the above sites listed

Place settings can be a little pricey when bought in store.

However, making them by hand will definitely save you a penny or two.

We’ve collated some great ideas that you can easily create with

objects purchased at your local craft store or simply from greenery in your backyard.

Some helpful hints that we suggest are: Using a hot glue gun - the glue will dry fast and allow you to move on to the next step without having to worry about things falling apart.

Fresh herbs – they will help to enhance the aroma of the room.

Fake battery operated candlesthis way you cannot have any accidents.

THIRTYFIVE

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

12 DAYS OF GIFTMAS

Reward yourself this holiday season with 12 days of giving gifts to you

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

DAY 1

DAY 7

On the first day of giftmas my truelove gave to me (that’s you) an evening of pampering delight. Give yourself a homemade facial with cucumbers and porridge. Check out womensday.com for some great recipes. A foot massage and a pedicure will also go a long way.

On the seventh day of giftmas treat yourself to fresh flowers. Purchased from your local florist, fresh flowers will not only brighten up your surroundings but also fill the space with a beautiful and fresh aroma.

DAY 2

On the eighth day of giftmas why not take some time to spend with your family. Whether it is spent at home or out together you will treasure the special memories that you create.

On the second day of giftmas treat yourself with a positive attitude. Kind words and a simple smile upon your face will not only brighten your day but the day of those around you.

DAY 3 On the third day of giftmas have a digital detox. Remove yourself from technology and have a day of peace.

No pesky work calls or nagging family and no television to distract you from the beauty of the outdoors.

DAY 4 On the fourth day of giftmas have a day of rest. Lie in bed til noon and let your muscles and body replenish itself. Wake up when you feel that you are ready and don’t set yourself any tasks for the day.

DAY 5 On the fifth day of giftmas reward yourself with some quiet time. Send the family away for the day and have the house to yourself. Do what ever you feel like and let the peaceful sounds around you soothe your soul.

DAY 6 On the sixth day of giftmas give yourself a naughty treat. Forget about that diet for at least one day and treasure in some chocolates or a cupcake. Make sure that you get your absolute favourite kind.

DAY 8

DAY 9 On the ninth day of giftmas a dinner date will be just for you. Cook your favourite meal or perhaps convince the hubby to and indulge in one of the best things.

DAY 10 On the tenth day of giftmas have a night out on the town. Go see the spectacular holiday decorations that grace the city and enjoy the buzz of your surroundings.

DAY 11 On the eleventh day of giftmas have the time of your life and enjoy a solo dance. Blast aloud your favourite songs and get your groove on while no one is watching. If you are feeling extra adventurous sing at the top of your lungs as well.

DAY 12 On the twelfth day of giftmas, finish off with a glass of wine. Tingle those taste buds with your favourite drink and top it off with some gorgeous cheese and bread. There is no other way to enjoy the end of your day.

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

Christmas

Gift Guide for THE MAN Gifts to help check off that list

2016 A5 Daily Buffalo Diary – Typo $19.95

BVLGARI Men Collection 5 – Typo $47.20

Thin Stripe Sock – Country Road $12.95

Geoffrey Beene, 2 pk ties- Bold Check – David Jones $49.95 BBQ Set & Apron – Barbeque Galore $20.00

Dude Food Cookbook by Daniel Churchill – Dymocks $24.99 Ted Baker Hip Flask, Brown – Myer $59.95

Spencer Cufflink, Pearl – SABA $51.75

High Summer Trilby Hat, Natural – Country Road $59.95

The Bazaar of Bad Dreams

by Stephen King– The Book Depository $22.95

Family Feud Board Game – Toys ‘r’ US $29.99

Golf In a BagTypo $39.95

UNDER

Stripe Denim Wetpack – Country Road $49.95

Hemp High Moisture Expert Set- The Body Shop $49.95

$60 THIRTYEIGHT

A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

Christmas

Gift Guide for the Bestie Find that inner style and relaxation Silver & Grey Pearl Stud Earrings Pandora 49.95

Elizabeth Arden and Elizabeth Taylor Miniature 4 Pack - Priceline $29.00 each

Donna Hay, Life in Balance Cookbook Booktopia $25.95

Voile Scarf – Country Road $39.95

Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins Dymocks $32.99

Mindfulness Gift Pack – Kikki K $49.95

BVLGARI Mon Jasmin Noir 4 Gift PackPriceline $49.00

The Secret Garden, Artist Edition Adult Colouring Book - Eckersleys $20.95

White Weave Trilby HatSussan $39.95

Almond Hand & Nail Expert Set – The Body Shop $49.95

UNDER Positano, Verbena Basil 350G Candle - Glasshouse $42.95

$50 THIRTYNINE

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

Guest Writer – Nat Smith

Part 1 ~ From AFP To Barbados

To Flow or Resist is a Choice.

'Rough

and

tumultuous'

could

Three months later I left

explain a number of years in my life

my husband too. I had

… really since 2004, when I gave up

been living in fantasy

my childhood dream career in the

land believing all the

Australian Federal Police, where I

while

had spent 13 wonderful years doing

change his ways, and it

the things that people only see in the

was my own fear of how

movies! I had asked for 'leave

I would go forward being

without pay' to spend time with my

on my own again, and how on earth

husband, who at the time was an

we were going to sort out all our

alcoholic, had been diagnosed with

‘stuff’, that had kept me there that

bi-polar and had been cheating on

long.

that

he

would

helped by creating that distance from my familiar environment of Australia, all the while amazed at how a relationship

me for three years. It was a last ditch effort to save our marriage,

It left my world shattered, finding

thinking that if we spent more time

myself suddenly with no career and

together we could make it work.

no husband, all within three months of each other. It stripped me of any

Now, as I look back, I see that it was

identity I thought I had. I was

actually a subconscious ploy by

depressed

myself to not leave him alone long

'where to' next in my life.

and

confused

of 10 years could turn to nasty and money grabbing in such a short space of time.

DO

NOT BE ATTACHED TO THE

FORM OF YOUR DREAM.

about In 2008, I wandered back ‘home’ to

enough for him to see anyone else!

Sydney and set myself up. It was a new

But of course I didn’t see that at the

During

time.

wandered aimlessly. I moved to

the

next

two

years

I

New Zealand for nine months while So without being granted leave

I sorted out the financials of our

without pay, I felt I was left with no

breakup…

choice but to give up work.

drained me no end, but somehow

something

which

start for me, now living in a harbourside apartment on Sydney’s North Shore. I loved the location, the vibe and the change… but something was still not right with my world. I knew deep down

FOURTY

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015

me,

especially

in

the area of truth

and consciousness.

I

went

out

on

several dates with different which me,

guys, entertained

but

did

not

satisfy that deeper longing

that

was

inside, to have a real connection with someone.

Then

came

the

night of 6 February 2011. Some friends had around

dropped after

a

seminar that I would normally have been at, if it was not for

inside that I was not truly happy. I sought solace and answers in many personal

development

courses,

books and people. By now I was being led with an insatiable feeling inside that said 'there is more to this story than what you are seeing right now', and I knew it wasn’t just the story that had played out over the past few years. This was the story of my life.

Bit by bit I surrounded

myself with people that ‘got me’. For

the past few years I really started

the fact that I had actually moved into a new share

looking at all parts of myself, my

house that weekend. The seminar

identities, and I questioned if they were

was called ‘The Quest For Truth’

really ‘Me’ after all.

(which will reveal its own irony in time!).

Time ticked on and over the next few years I spent most of my time absorbed

That night Jodie, one of the

into me, finding out who I was without a

friends, was staying over at my

career, without money, and without a

new place as she had a meeting

relationship. It was a squirmish time,

to go to the next day just nearby.

yet something was still driving me

Being only my second night in a

inside, assuring me that I was right

house full of new people, I said to

where I was meant to be.

her to sleep in my bed, not

the first time I realised that the

knowing where else to put her. I

feelings that I had had for many

After having been single (pretty much!)

had not spent all that much time

years, perhaps even my whole life

for 6 years, I was starting to get

with Jodie at that stage as she

upon reflection, were not wrong, they

feelings

new

was living about three hours north

had been there for a reason. After

relationship, this time with someone

of Sydney with her husband, but

the many humbling experiences of

who shared the same life outlooks as

we got on really well and loved

that

I

wanted

a

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015 chatting with each other at the

‘experience’ and now I will just move

had to also tell our friends and family

seminars.

on. For the next few weeks I pursued

and Jodie had to tell her husband.

my various male interests ‘trying’ to

Having our little pyjama party, we yet again got chatting, as you do. I was telling her about the couple of the guys I had been dating recently, when she dropped the line that would change both of our lives forever;

‘I

am

going

to

throw

something else into your mix. I had a fantasy about you’.

myself that I was having a convince

Over our now 3 years together, we

fun and fulfilling time. We would go

have gained many insights into life

out, but time and time again I found

from

myself either thinking about Jodie or

together.

how do I reply to that?

date. It was ridiculous. The feelings just would not go away. Then one day I just stopped. I sat down and

what is going on here; what I am doing? And I had to admit I was now fighting my feelings, what I really

A long and intimate story later, we

wanted was to explore this more with

had our first night together… both of

Jodie.

us in our forties and both of us straight until that night. It almost felt like a scene out of ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin’!

Meanwhile back in Jodie’s world, she was also fighting her feelings.

She was married, and until now had

It was amazing, but scared the hell

even an experience with a woman.

out of me. I had feelings for different

Unlike me, the whole woman thing

women

had never come up before for her.

many

years

but

struggled to admit it fully to myself, let alone anyone else. I had been bought

up

as

a

conservative

Catholic, in a Catholic school, and knew full well Mum and Dad's feelings on the subject, which had been really cemented the day she came

home

from

church

and

announced that a friend of theirs found out their daughter was now gay and they were disowning her as a result. A move she was quite obviously fully consenting of. Not a comforting recollection given what was now unfolding!

justifying

it

by

Talk about blindsided!

calling

it

an

coming

The next week she came down and we chatted. We poured out our feelings, dived into our fears, and tossed

One of the biggest is that living your truth does not always (in fact often!) look like you think it is going to.

Obviously!

Love is not a choice. It happens. It is inherent in who we are, and it will happen whether we want it to or not.

You can only fight it for so long, and

around

It goes for all of life. Everything is moving you towards waking you up to love…even the hard, crappy things.

Actually, especially the hard, crappy things!

Life will flow where it needs to, it’s of more importance whether you will flow with it or fight it constantly, trying

possibilities.

Ultimately though, the ‘Quest for Truth’ Seminar had worked its magic already; we could not deny what we were both feeling. The time to learn about Truth was over. Now it was time to live it! Yikes!

It scared the crap out of both of us.

Not only did we have to come to terms with it ourselves, that at the

I tried to suppress the feelings,

of

this does not just go for relationships.

never thought about a relationship or

over

experience

worse still texting her throughout my

said to myself, I truly have to look at

Umm…what? Ok! Umm…oh shit

this

age of forty we decided it was ‘half time change sides!’ for us, but we

to make it fit the box of what you ‘think’ it should look like. Neither of us planned this. Neither of us even saw this coming. It just unfolded, driven by something far bigger than our conscious minds. But of course that is where the magic happens!

Living

your

truth

often

will

not

conform to what other people like or expect, and that can be tough to face, especially when it involves family members. My parents do not agree with our relationship at all, in fact they never acknowledge Jodie at all now. They told me that ‘we do not

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A Peaceful Mind ⏐ ISSUE 9 2015 accept this and never will’ when I first told them about her.

But everyone is entitled to feel the way they do without the need to change them, and this is truly unconditional love for someone - to love them just they way they are, as they are…hurtful opinions and all.

Although it has been difficult to swallow and still continues to hurt at times, if I want them to accept me, then I have to start by first accepting them and their feelings, as they are.

My relationship with my parents has definitely changed these days, but as I once read ‘I would rather have the whole world against me, than my own soul’ and I remind myself of this often, very often! Jodie is my truth right now, and regardless of what people think or say I feel totally aligned being with her. If anything, the harshness of what I have encountered with my parents has forced me to dive in even deeper to my truth and have far greater certainty in myself and my choices.

Only I can know what feels true for me, and only I have to live with it every day. These have been life changing insights that have affected all areas of my life. And for that, I am truly grateful for their reaction.

HARSH

LESSONS

CONTAIN

THE

GREATEST GIFTS. Perhaps it was subconsciously because of our new relationship, but in October 2011 (a short four months into our relationship) I somehow managed to create a job offer in Dubai UAE, training police.

After feeling into the truth of it for us, we both decided to go…

Nat

FOURTYTHREE

CHARITY APM has founded a charity specifically to bring opportunity to Australian Women and Children.

2BMe Foundation raises funds to connect those who are focused and committed to improving their own life circumstances, to the resources that enable them to do so. www.2bmefoundation.org.au We look forward to bringing you more news about what we are doing and how you might get involved very soon.

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