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the best parts of good real-life sex. Some of that is the small but important stuff like build-up, electricity, foreplay, and the back-and-forth power dynamic of who’s taking the lead. Some of it’s bigger stuff, like a real understanding of what it’s like to explore the boundaries of your sexual orientation, to allow yourself to be dominated, or to open up your relationship with your partner (porn films often take a passing stab at these bigger themes, but only lamely). Because I’m trying to put the best of sex onto film, I have a lot of opinions about what seems to constitute great sex and I can give you my roadmapin-progress of how to get there. Because I’m so interested in new ways to portray sexuality, I see a LOT of sex on film—everything from European art house cinema to really icky, bad porn. Some of it is fascinating and arousing, and some of it makes my stomach turn. And I’m definitely not a snob; I’ve seen lots of cheap amaHow did you first get interested teur porn films that were super hot, in porn? and fancy big-budget porn films that Debbie Does Dallas Part 2, baby! Jennifer Lyon Bell is an erotic film director and sucked. But, most of all, because of That’s the one I first saw when I was curator, and has been living in Amsterdam since my job I’ve seen a range of sexual in high school. It was simultaneously 1999. In addition to being the director of her acts and styles, so I can report back extremely exciting and extremely small production company, Blue Artichoke Films, to you some tips and techniques that boring. Exciting, because it was so she’s a co-director of the Rated X: Amsterdam might actually work in real life. forbidden and so sexy to see other Alternative Erotica Film Festival, and has worked I also have the inside scoop on people actually humping away. And as a curator for the Museum of Sex in New York. these films. By meeting and talking it was boring because it was so to the directors and performers in mechanical. With the exception of these films, I’ve discovered a secret: perhaps five or ten sparky minutes, I Discarded column names the films don’t always end up with was pretty sure my friends and I Fucked Up & Down Connect the Spots Bang on Advice the sexual punch that the film-makwere having more fun in our private How Do You Spell Relief? Art of Fuck Carnal Grace Size Matters Cracking the Gentle Art Catch the Rainbow ers intended. Sometimes the films lives than the characters in the film The Most Slippery of SubSplitting Hairs Overpopulation at Its get derailed by industry requirewere having on screen. That seemed jects Flesh Factor Source Sex—Drugs & Rock&Roll Parting the Curtain Mommy, Where Do ments, or budget constraints, or bizarre to me—and it still does. You Should Be Shot For Optional Babies Come From? Thinking That Bitch Slap of Insight The Birds and the Buzz production mistakes. So, even In college, a friend introduced You Pervert Naughty Bits & Pieces Plug & Play among these porn insiders, what me to sex-positive feminism. I was A Shot In The Dark Getting Hard On Soft Sex and its Discontents Floral Arrangements of FuckaSutra About Lust Night you see onscreen isn’t even necesdumbfounded that there was an the 17th Century Beyond Wanking AdVICE Whatever You Do, Cut Off Fingers Mouth Tongue Good Housekeeping sarily what they think is hot. Not actual political movement that made Your Feelings Naughty Bits Together The Dummy’s Guide to Stuck on the Sticky? Getting All Worked Up Tango only are media representations of sense of my love for sex, and of my Sticky Fingers on the It’s Perfectly Natural Instant Gratification sexuality not as straightforward as intuition that we all would benefit Pulse Aphrodizzy Rainy Day Fun I Can’t Believe You Said After Work Comes Play Was It Good For You? ‘this is what people do in real life’, politically and personally from being That Come Here Burning Questions Everyone Does It You Freakin’ Pervert Naughty Bits they aren’t necessarily even as more in touch with our sexuality. I Fucky Fucky Only Pedophilia Is Wrong The Middle Ground straightforward as ‘this is what peoalso learned that I wasn’t the only Trust Me, She’ll Love It Fuckin’ Pervert You & Your Orgasm Taking Your Hobby SeriMind Fuck Hard Earned Jizzdom ple want to do in real life!’ Knowing girl watching porn on the sly, looking Shagging Is Good For You ously Half an Inch to the Left, Fucking With Bob Ross Nature’s Exercise Please that helps me think more clearly for more ten-minute segments that God’s Special Gift Fitness Column Nailing It about real-life sex. would do the trick for me. That’s Coital Post Hotter Than an Otter The Fairer Sex I Feel Weird Practice Practice Practice Keepin’ It Natural And, of course, as a director, I’ve when I started thinking about makFucky, Sucky. Try It with Nature’s Curse Asking Me Asking You a Ducky Fucked Up We’re All Freaks talked to lots of potential actors and ing my own films that would be hot Wiggle Room Perfectly Normal The Main Event actresses about their own sex lives, from start to finish, that you could The Lowlands Mambo Nothing to See Here Have Your Cake & Eat It Just Say Yes Sheet Street Too what they find sexy, what their perwatch with a partner, and that sonal boundaries are and their wouldn’t make you cringe every fantasies. Sometimes I can’t stop three seconds at the lame bits. Basipeople from telling me this kind of stuff at Are you a sexologist? cally I thought it would be good to bring parties, too—it’s definitely an occupationUm, no. I’ve got no formal training in sexusexual fantasy and sexual reality closer al hazard. So, more than most people, I’ve al health. I’ve got two degrees in together, and explicit erotic film seemed got a window into what regular people theoretically nonsexual disciplines [a psylike a possible bridge to do that. think about and do in their private lives. chology degree from Harvard, and a film And I can tell you about it. studies Masters degree from the UniverSure ‘Ladywood’ is a catchy title, but siteit van Amsterdam], though my why can’t we call this column ‘Ask the You don’t look like a very dirty girl. embarrassed professors would be quick to Female Pornographer’? What’s up with that? point out that I have perverted the intenI don’t think of myself as a pornographer. I know! It’s embarrassing. Every time I tions of both departments by managing to Or maybe I am. It just depends on what show up to a meeting with someone who write all my papers about sexuality or you mean by ‘porn’. What I’m doing doeshasn’t met me before, they’re craning their porn or both. On the positive side, because n’t look like traditional porn—anyway, I neck to see if the person behind me is the I’m fascinated with sex, I know a lot of hope not. I look for actors and actresses right one. ‘Where’s the woman wearing smart sex health experts to whom I can who are willing to take creative risks: vinyl pants and a bustier? This can’t be her! turn for advice or data when you, or, artists, dancers, stage performers, or just She’s wearing a dress with flowers on it.’ I frankly, I, need it. In summary, I’m really folks who can be very honest when it don’t even have a tattoo. But, fuck it. This just a professional sex enthusiast who’s comes to their sexual and emotional expeis the way I am. Eventually you have to been around the block and who happens riences. This approach isn’t particularly decide that an honest approach is best. to be a good listener. So, if that’s good valued among typical pornographers, but And maybe it’s even nice to show that peoenough for you, I’m all ears. it’s crucial to me, and it’s the main reason I ple who are intrigued by sexuality come in don’t crank out dozens of films a month all packages. What gives you the right to give us like a big porn company. So I use the terms advice about sex? ‘erotic films’ and ‘sexually explicit erotic Sex questions? All genders, orientations I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about films’, to describe what I do. I like the and interests welcome: what’s missing from traditional porn. As it directness of the word ‘porn’, but I’ve ladywood@amsterdamweekly.nl. turns out, a lot of what’s missing in porn is found that it immediately turns off a lot of So, how did you first get into sex? I was a pretty average girl. I had my first kiss in a suburban alleyway in seventh grade, started fooling around in my early teens, and eventually that transitioned into hooking up and getting into relationships in high school. Funnily enough, I was one of the last of my friends to lose my virginity— I’d graduated and I was already 17, which is pretty old in American culture. But early on I’d stumbled onto some awesome things you could do with another person that didn’t involve full technical intercourse, and I took seriously what my parents had told me about sex: ‘Only do things you really want to do, with people you really want to do them with, because your memories will stick with you forever.’ So, by the time I lost my virginity, I had a fair amount of experience, was pretty clued-in to my sexuality, and I was, to put it mildly, extremely ready!
the people who might otherwise be turned on by my films. I’m trying to make films that turn you on. What I find really sexy is to feel what’s at stake, emotionally, for the characters. And by ‘emotion’ I don’t mean gooey romance! God knows, women get enough of that crap fed to them through Hollywood. Rather, what’s the emotional dynamic? Jealousy, triumph, embarrassment? If I feel what they feel, their arousal feels more real and hot to me. Personally I just need a bit of mental context, provided through the acting or documentary realism, or both. Add in the other stuff that so many women (and men) say they want to see in a sex film, which is natural-looking actors and actresses, good set design and good lighting, and that’s what I’m trying to do.
What gives Jennifer Lyon Bell the right to talk to us about sex?
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Ladywood by Jennifer Lyon Bell
RUTH VAN BEEK
10-16 April 2008
ASS BELONGS TO US ALL My boyfriend is totally obsessed with gay men. He always thinks they’re cruising him and he says it freaks him out. When we have sex, he loves it when I play with his ass and now he wants me to fuck him with a dildo. Should I be concerned? Ah, so you wonder if it may be a case of ‘the lady doth protest too much’. It’s true that repeated musings on a particular topic can be a sign of obsession, and if he seems to want to talk about it all the time, maybe it’s because he secretly likes the attention. What’s the best way to spot a closeted gay conservative, after all? He’s so incensed about homosexuality that he’s created an ‘outreach’ programme in, um, gay clubs. If your boyfriend is really cute, though, he could be right that he’s getting a lot of male attention. This kind of attention can be both flattering and insulting. It’s flattering for obvious reasons, but it’s insulting if they’re only looking at him for sex—and that’s no different from women feeling objectified by ogling letches. In any case, any hot straight man should try to shoulder his objectification manfully. But if your boyfriend’s weirdly high on the male attention, yet he still digs you, maybe he is exploring bisexual urges. It’s up to you to decide how you feel about that, but it doesn’t mean he’s gay or a cheater (or both). It sounds like you’re most concerned about the ass/dildo stuff. Sometimes people assume that gay sex = anal sex. Here, I can reassure you. In no way does his interest in ass-play and dildo-ass-fucking compromise his status as a hetero guy. Assuming he wants you (and not a man) to play with his anus, you can rest assured that it’s just a regular expression of straight sexuality. The truth is, ass-fucking between straight couples is now in style. The wicked-cool San Francisco online sex shop Good Vibrations even sells a popular line of films, Bend Over Boyfriend, which teaches straight ladies how to butt fuck their men. Asses feel good, and these acts that he wants you to perform have only been marginalised because we live in a homophobic world, and we equate sodomy with man-on-man action. Be glad that he’s comfortable enough with his sexuality, and with your relationship, to tell you what he craves. That’s the best way to keep your strong, hetero connection healthy. ladywood@amsterdamweekly.nl