SOCIALLY YOURS
How to Survive
YOUR FIRST SOCIAL DANCE By Jean Krupa, Social VP
O
kay, your New Year’s resolution was to take dance lessons. Now it’s time to go to your first dance. Nervous? Admit it. You’re certain you’ll look foolish, say the wrong thing, not get asked to dance, or just be totally out of place? As a newbie, you are nervous for a good reason. You want to fit in and do things right. But you have to go to a dance sooner or later. Otherwise, why are you learning to dance? Fortunately, there are a lot of strategies for surviving your first social dance. Whether it’s your first dance ever or your first dance in a new city, try some of these for best results:
STRATEGY #1: Baby Steps Slowly but surely, ease into the social dance scene. If you’re insanely nervous, just drive by the venue without going in. Seriously. You may think that’s silly, but lots of people have social anxiety. If you drive by the venue, at least that’s something. You can also figure out the parking situation and where the entrance is, two fewer things to worry about. The next time, gather up your courage to go in and sit and watch. Stay for at least 30 minutes. The third week, make a deal with yourself to ask three people to dance. STRATEGY #2: Power in Numbers Take a friend! Anyone from your class is a good choice. You can even take a non-dancing friend if you’re just planning to watch. If your class is particularly friendly, someone might organize a dance outing. Get in on that! Pretend your dance-mates are your best friends for a night. Soon you’ll make lots of new friends by going to dances regularly. STRATEGY #3: Look Like You Belong What you wear says something 20
about who you are. On your first night out dancing, you want your clothing to say, “I belong here.” Find out what people wear to a social dance in your city. Ask your teacher, ask your classmates. Drive by and have a look in the window if you’re employing Strategy #1. Seriously, though, don't obsess. Get details! Type of shoes? What kind of pants or skirts? Dressed up or down? As long as you have the basic style down, you’ll feel more comfortable and relaxed. STRATEGY #4: Assume Nothing I’ve heard people say this about the dance scene: “Our community is so welcoming!” Others will say, “People are really cliquish.” Don’t take any of that to heart. Your experience at your first social dances will be unique, and it likely won’t match what others are telling you. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. Don’t assume people will ask you to dance. Don’t assume you’ll be left alone if you’re feeling shy. Don’t assume the etiquette will be effortless to figure out. Keep in mind that each venue has a different flavor. Venues even vary from week to week, depending on the music, the mix of people, and the balance of leads and follows. Expect to be a little confused. Expect to integrate slowly into this new social circle. Expect to get your feet (and feelings) stepped on a few times as you figure out how things work and how you fit. And remember… It’s not wrong to be nervous. However, that super-nervous feeling? It only lasts for a few dances at most. In a couple months you’ll be an old pro, gleefully telling your friends how awesome dancing is. And then you can help them go to their first dance! See you on the dance floor…
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