December 2015 Amazing Women Magazine

Page 1

December 2015 Amazing Women


December 2015 Amazing Women

2


Letter from the Publisher The holidays are upon us... and we all know what that means, the new year is right around the corner. Are you a person who makes New Year’s resolutions or sets goals for the New Year? If yes, that’s a good thing as studies have found that those who plan and set specific steps have a better chance of meeting their goals.

RAVEN BLAIR GLOVER Publisher Powered by Raven International Media Productions Producer and Founder of Amazing Women of Power, positive programming radio network Subscribe NOW by clicking on the link below to receive your next issue FREE http://amazingwomenmagazine.com

Check out my new FaceBook Page! https://www.facebook.com/pages/RockYour-Interview-Talk/520206921454059

I like to say “How you end one year is how you start the next.” It’s my way of acknowledging that we need to take action NOW if we want the New Year to be different, more productive, more successful, less stressful—what ever the case may be, why wait another few weeks to make the changes you know you need to make 2016 one to remember! Get started now and you won’t be sorry. In this special holiday edition we’ve added a fun section showcasing some great holiday recipes being shared by our contributors and readers. You may just find something new to “spice-up” your standard holiday fare. Perhaps a new family tradition or special dish that your friends and family all look forward to. “We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” Edith Lovejoy Pierce Everyone at Raven International Media Productions wish you the holiday season of your dreams. Be safe, stay well—we will see you next year! Remember to enjoy this special time, you deserve it!

December 2015 Amazing Women

3


December 2015 Amazing Women

4


  

December 2015

BUSINESS Your Vision and Your Business, It Matters…...11 Christina Suter Ending the Year Right …………………………………...16 Terri Levine

EMPOWERMENT Why You Don’t Have a Gratitude Practice (Even Though You Know You Should) ……………………...19 Michele PW

Ten Ways to Have a Truly Happy New Year .....22

ON THE COVER Emmy Winning Singer-Songwriter Janie Lidey shares her Christmas Traditions Page 5

LIFESTYLE Forgive and Celebrate Making It Through the Holidays …………………….……………………..………. 46 Mary Smith-Moore

ENTERTAINMENT An Interview with Grammy Winning Music Engineer Khaliq Glover ………..………..………….... 50 Raven Blair Glover

Michelle Roberts

Exercise the Power of Archer Parenting ………...23 Patricia Varlack

Say Yes In the Face of Fear ………………..…………..25 Rev Nanci Adair

3 Steps to Finish Strong ……………………….. …...…30 Melva J. McGlen

Achieve All Your New Year’s Resolutions..…..... 32 Sherry Prindle

Follow Your Stars to Success and Fulfillment .. 35 Dr. M. Kelley Hunter

The Art of Entertaining.. Does the Size of Your Audience Really Matter? ………………………………. 54 Janie Lidey

AMAZING MEN I Had the Blues, But I Made it Better By Writing a Song …...………………………………………………....…… 57 Dean Olson Create Automated Wealth for 2016……………… 62 Joe Louis Burroughs

Special Holiday Recipe Section ………..64

Goodbye 2015, Hello 2016 ………………………………….. 38 L.J. Jackson The Embroidery Hoop ………………………………………… 40 Michele Downey 13 Things to do NOW to Make 2015 One to Remember ……….………………………………………………… 43 Anna Sheller

MAGAZINE STAFF Published by Raven Blair Glover, Raven Intl. Media Productions Editor-In-Chief, Creative Director Peggy Knudson

December 2015 Amazing Women

5


Janie Lidey

December 2015 Amazing Women

6


ON THE COVER there on Paul Revere Road were what helped me grow into a Peaceful, Loving Happy Human Being.

Each year as the holidays draw near, my little family asks me, “Mom, what do you want for Christmas?” And every year I respond with, “I want Peace, Love and Happiness.” Of course they then say, “Mom! You know what we mean. What do you really want for Christmas?” at which point I repeat, “I really want Peace, Love & Happiness.” I guess when you’re living a life filled with gratitude, the material gifts that are offered up at Christmas time become unnecessary. When your heart is filled with the joy that comes from living gratitude every day, there is no need to unwrap anything more. From the time I was born until age 11, I lived in the small town of Bedford Massachusetts. It was there in that little neighborhood that I first learned what peace, love and happiness felt like. My family lived on a little street where the houses all were lined up in a row and every home in our neighborhood was filled with a set of parents, anywhere from two to ten kids, a dog, a cat, and an occasional mouse or hamster. I believe the seeds that were planted

One of my favorite memories from our home in Bedford took place each year on Christmas Eve. We had a tradition in our house of sitting at the dining room window huddled around one of those old fashioned plastic candles with the orange bulb on top. From there we would peak through the thick white wooden window panes, each of us carving out our own view of what would soon be coming down the street. And even though there were no reindeer pulling him in a sleigh, the sight of the station wagon coming around that bend at the end of the road that we knew had Santa in the back seat was about enough to make the eyeballs pop right out of mine and my brother and three sisters little heads. We would watch him stop at each house, get out of the car with a big red Santa bag and waddle up to the front door with a Ho! Ho! Ho! and a great big smile. After unloading his satchel, he’d march back out to the car with an empty bag, hop inside, fill it back up and do it all again at the next house. We had to watch him stop about six or seven times before he pulled up in front of our house and we got to have our very own special visit with Santa Claus. When he got to our door, we would run from the dining room window into the living room where we would sit in front of the fireplace next to the Christmas tree, ready for that magical moment that only happened once a year on the night before Christmas. Santa would pull out a package, read the name on it and almost always pick the right one of us to give it to. What was in the package was never as important as the feeling we had on our way to that magical moment. On Christmas day, our house was like a big box that was filled with Peace, Love & Happiness. Grammy Helen, Gram Hazel and Grampy would all come to stay on Christmas Eve and when Kris, Billy, Susie, Me and Carol would wake up at the crack of dawn Christmas morning, Grampy would be there telling us we had to have a good December 2015 Amazing Women

7


ON THE COVER breakfast before we opened our presents. We could peak in our stockings if we wanted to but then it was off to the kitchen for some of Grampy’s pancakes or a slice of Grammy Helen’s fresh baked Christmas Braid Bread. After spending the morning together opening presents, laughing, saying a lot of thank yous and sharing lots of Christmas hugs, we would usually make our way to the backyard to go ice skating on the rink that Dad would build for us each year when the cold came. And that was followed by a big turkey dinner, pie and ice cream and finally, our little bodies worn out from the long day of festivities, Mum would tuck us into bed, say our prayers, sing a song or two and send us off to La La Land. Looking back on all of this and realizing how blessed I was to grow up in a house filled with so much Love probably explains why I feel the way I feel about Christmas now that I am all grown up. A few years ago on Christmas morning, I looked under the tree and saw three boxes, one on top of another, and they had my name written on them. My son Tristan had wrapped each box up so neatly (he was nine at the time), and they went from a large square box on the bottom, to a medium box in the middle, and a small box on top. The top box was filled with Peace, the middle one with Love, and the bottom with Happiness. I have always somehow felt like the luckiest girl in the world and on that Christmas morning, I was the luckiest mom in the world. And now, when my husband Sean and our son Tristan start their Christmas list each year, Peace, Love and Happiness are at the top of the page.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” Melody Beattie

There Will Be Peace Music & Lyrics by Janie Lidey and Matt Wilder https://soundcloud.com/janie_lidey/there -will-be-peace-1

Based out of Anchorage, Alaska, Janie Lidey is an Emmy award winning Songwriter, Inspirational Speaker, Author and Performing Artist. After twenty-six years as a choir and guitar teacher in the public schools of Alaska, Janie retired early so that she could make the world her classroom. Seeing the impact she was having on the hearts of her high school students made her feel a responsibility to inspire hearts on a global level. With her music being played in over thirty countries worldwide, Janie is passionate about raising your vibration though the magic of a song. http://janielidey.com

This Christmas ~ may you be blessed with Peace, Love and Happiness. I wish you Blessings & Miracles all the year through. With Love, Janie

December 2015 Amazing Women

8


December 2015 Amazing Women

9


December 2015 Amazing Women

10


BUSINESS

Your Vision and Your Business; It Matters By Christina L. Suter

The end of the year is always a time for reflection in both our personal and professional lives. As we prepare for the New Year, I implore small business owners, sole proprietors, and entrepreneurs to be clear on their business vision. Every one of us who started a business or a company started with a vision; we started with the desire to make a difference. We could see how we could do better, provide a better service, or offer a better product. From taking care of dogs to selling cars, every business started with a vision. We, the visionaries who first saw how we could run a business could do nothing but think about it as it consumed our thoughts, and for me, my vision kept me up at night. That vision is core to your company, to your sales, to your strategic plan and the growth of your company. What is your vision? Get out a piece of paper and a pen, or whatever digital device you prefer to note-take on and write down what your vision is. (If you’ve never written down your vision before, it’s particularly important that you do so right now.) What was your original vision? It could be the same as it is right now, especially if your business is new.

Your vision is what made you build the company; it’s the map and guide for where the company is going. As an entrepreneur, it’s you driving the bus trying to reach your target market, not your employees. 1. The Product: There are elements that are core to your vision and what makes it work. There are core elements that state what your business does, what it does better than others, and how it affects your customers or the outside world. Does your business improve lives by giving your customers or clients freedom? Does your business make people feel more alive? Does your service make their lives easier? Does it make parenting easier? Even if your job is to help animals, how do you serve them? 2. The Owner: In your vision, what role do you play? How do you envision yourself feeling and participating? Would you have a 4-hour workweek? Would you be wealthy or a philanthropist who gives back? Is your vision tied to your purpose on the planet? Do you want to make a difference? What would the implementation of your vision feel like to you? Would you feel confident and fulfilled? Would you feel satisfied?

Along with your vision, write out a mission statement as part of your marketing. Your mission statement is generally made up of those two, and sometimes it includes a third component. 3. Clients/Target Market: Enrollment- you sharing your vision with someone in a manner that causes them to become engaged in what you’re sharing. They become excited about it, and they want to know more about what you’re doing. During this enrollment, you aren’t trying to convince them of anything, you’re just

December 2015 Amazing Women

11


BUSINESS sharing your vision with them in a way that helps them to understand. In speaking of your business and vision, you highlight what they get out of it, what value they receive, how it improves their life or even their child’s life, their dog’s life, etc. Your son Johnny will enjoy and benefit from our service because it will help raise his self-confidence.

Your ongoing strategic plan:

Although you aren’t directly selling your product or service, you’re enrolling and engaging. The reason you must, is to get the permission to make a difference in their world. If you don’t enroll them, you don’t have the permission to make a difference in their lives. Be able to enroll others in what you’re doing, your plan, your vision, product, and service in order to have permission to sell to them.

In your strategic plan, start 40 years out and ask, where do I want to be? Get clear on that and then cut that back to 20 years and be clear on what it’d take for you to achieve that vision. What are the development milestones of your company? If you back up to 10 years from now, are you the CEO no longer engaged in the daily running of the store? Do you have managers you trust running your stores? Five years from now do you want one location that the manager runs while you look for a second location? At the 5-year mark you may be at the stage where people in your area recognize your product. Whereas in 2 ½ years your brand is still being developed, and you’re getting your name out there. In order for that to happen, that means that this year you need to open your first store, which means finding beginning capital. The strategic planning works backward and it starts with your vision.

The Enrollment Process: 1. Make sure you use your vision. 2. Highlight what part of the vision can be for them. 3. Give them details about your product or service. 4. Ask a minimum of 3 questions about them. “What are your kids involved in?” “What school do they attend?” “How old are they?” This allows them to see the benefit, your excitement, the sincerity and the authenticity that you believe in what you’re saying. Your enrollment conversation gives you that permission.

Where do you want your company to go? What does your business look like in 10 or 20 years? Multiple locations? One location? Are you still there every day? Nationwide? Global? How much in sales are you making or how many products are you selling? It doesn’t matter how big or small your vision is, it just matters that you know it.

If you’ve owned your company for a while, you may have gone from vision to execution and realized that the business has taken over your life. Or your target market has completely changed your business model. You, the 5-8 yr. business owner, I urge you to re-anchor your vision. If you’re 5-8 years in, then by now you’ve been given feedback from your target market and from the world. That feedback shows you how you need to fine-tune your vision so that it meets the needs of your current target market. You’ve been given feedback about yourself and what your target market really needs, that is valuable information that will propel your business forward. December 2015 Amazing Women

12


BUSINESS Write a new vision. Write the new vision for your business from where you are now, and write it from a place of freedom, not disappointment. Recommit to your business and your new vision. Now that you’ve been through the process, now that you’ve learned and done the work, reevaluate, and rewrite. You cared when you first started, and you still care now, if not, you would have stopped by now. Write how you see yourself, your product, and how you’re touching your customers and making a difference in their lives. What size do you want your business to be in 10-40 years? Use that new vision to go through the steps I listed. How you end your year will be the guidepost for how you start your new year. Set yourself up for success in the future by finishing strong in the present. As the founder and lead consultant of Ground Level Consulting, Christina L. Suter brings two decades of real-world experience as a serial small business owner and real estate investor.

Since 2002, Ground Level Consulting has helped numerous small businesses thrive in southern California and the western U.S. region. Owner Christina L. Suter gained experience by starting and selling several successful small businesses of her own over 20 years before she decided to share her expertise with other business owners. Are you a small business owner and you feel like your back is against the wall and you’re ready for a change? Contact Christina for a free 30 minute session on how you can improve your small business. Please mention this ad for your free session. You can reach Christina at: www.groundlevel-consulting.com christina@groundlevel-consulting.com

“When I first worked with Christina many years ago, I was excited about the possibilities she helped me to see. Now those possibilities are a reality and I am enjoying a more relaxed life that supports utilizing my gifts to a much fuller extent.” Miranda Alcott, M.A. NonVerbal Communication

Ground Level Consulting is a consulting practice that works the way an entrepreneur works, dealing with the pressing problems of a business on the ground level and in real time. Since launching Ground Level, Christina has provided support throughout southern California and the western United States, to numerous small businesses and real estate investors at all levels, as they moved beyond surviving to thriving.

December 2015 Amazing Women

13


December 2015 Amazing Women

14


December 2015 Amazing Women

15


BUSINESS

Ending the Year Right By Terri Levine

As we come to the close of the year are you excited about the New Year or are you stressed with unfinished items from this past year? Are you concerned about what transpired during the year or excited about the upcoming year? No matter what sort of year you have had, you have the opportunity to end this year really strong and lay the foundation for an awesome New Year! Follow these tips to ending your year and you will begin your year from a powerfully grounded place and create a more successful year.

1. Acknowledge Your Success: Make a list of all the things that went well and that you accomplished and that you are grateful for. This can be anything no matter how small it might seem. Success doesn’t have to be grandiose. Little things can add up to big things over time. What were some of the highlights of the year? Maybe you read many books or listened to audiobooks or you engaged in more minutes of exercise or you spent time meditating. No matter what you achieved be sure to capture it on paper.

2. Create a Celebration: Rarely do we stop and celebrate our success. We typically pass right over them and don’t stop to acknowledge our accomplishments and instead make light of them and mark them as unimportant. Instead, create a celebration of your successes. Host a celebration with friends and family sharing your accomplishments over the past year. You can have a dinner party or a night out or just a simple toast to you and your accomplishments.

3. Keep a Journal With Your Accomplishments: Be certain you write down your accomplishments in a journal even if you missed them during the year. In fact I recommend you write little notes of thanks and gratitude for each one. Write a thank you note in your journal for each one. You can express gratitude for creating a new eating habit, a new work ethic, giving up a toxic relationship, creating stronger boundaries, or anything you have accomplished. Being grateful and thanking and appreciating yourself for your own accomplishments is a great way of noticing what you achieve. 4. Letting Go of To Do’s: Your To Do’s will never be done until you are “To Done” and in the grave! They are never ending. December 2015 Amazing Women

16


BUSINESS Stop counting accomplishments by what you get done and start measuring your success by what priorities you accomplish. Never create things to do. Only create a few priorities that you want to accomplish. Reflect now on the past year. What were the real priorities in your life and work? Did you make progress on those? Notice the steps you took and celebrate and honor yourself for the steps you took no matter how small. that person or item from your life. Learn to say no to people and experiences that don’t add value to your life. Give gratitude to the people and experiences for being in your life when they were and know they were there for a reason and that now it is time for you to let them go so you can have the freedom you desire and deserve. 5. Notice Incompletions: Take notice of what you did not get to complete. Don’t beat yourself up. Allow yourself to forgive and move on. If there is time to complete any of them and they are still important to you go do them. If not, let them go. Remember, priority items only are your focus. You can hire people to do the small things in life. 6. Remove Energy Drains. What has been sucking away your energy? Think of what has distracting you or drained your time, energy, resources or money. Decide to stop engaging in anything that didn’t serve you and fuel you and juice you. If something blocked you or held you back you or someone did you want to remove

7. New Year/New YOU!: Get excited about doing something new and being someone new. You have the opportunity to do something you haven’t done before year end. What activity have you wanted to try that you can try before the year ends? I’ve been afraid to go on a big rollercoaster. I can challenge myself to go for it! When we engage in an activity we haven’t done before we create inner change and we change ourselves. Don’t wait for the new year to make the change. Do it now! Go ahead and try these ideas right now. Don’t wait for any New Year resolution. Get yourself ready now so that your new year can and will be EXTRAordinary because you have created a solid foundation in this year. December 2015 Amazing Women

17


BUSINESS

Bestselling author, Terri Levine, was named one of the top ten coaching gurus in the world by www.coachinggurus.net and top female coach in the world. She has been assisting businesses worldwide creating the right inner mindset and outer actions for business growth. Terri is a keynote speaker, popular TV personality and host of The Terri Levine Show: Business Advice You Can Take to The Bank www.iheart.com/show/209-The-Terri-LevineShow/. Dr. Levine has more than 30 years of business experience, encompassing work with more than 5,000 business owners and is found at www.todayscoaching.com.

December 2015 Amazing Women

18


EMPOWERMENT

Why You Don’t Have a Gratitude Practice (Even Though You Know You Should) By Michele Pariza Wacek

Recently in the U.S., we celebrated Thanksgiving — one of my fave holidays. I mean, how can you go wrong when you combine great food, football and gratitude? This time of year I always like to talk about gratitude, and today, I wanted to talk about what’s stopping us from having a gratitude practice. It’s not like it’s any big secret that taking time each day to celebrate what we have to be grateful for pays off in massive returns. Super successful people like Tony Robbins have a daily gratitude practice (which they credit for growing their business and their success). And I just saw the results of another study where people who practice gratitude have stronger immune systems, feel happier and more optimistic, and are more generous and compassionate. So, let’s talk about what may be stopping us from cultivating a daily gratitude practice: “I don’t have time.” Okay, so I get it. When you start to look at all the various daily rituals you’re encouraged to do, the list can start to look pretty daunting. Meditation, journaling, exercise, inspirational reading, praying — not to mention all the other things you have going on with family and work and friends

and volunteering — oh, and don’t forget about that 8 hours of sleep every night, not to mention working on that side creative project you’re trying to get off the ground… Yeah, trying to wedge a gratitude practice into all of that can feel pretty daunting. But, what if you could keep your gratitude practice pretty simple? Maybe it’s just a couple of minutes at some point in your day — maybe when you first wake up, maybe in the shower, maybe when you’re stuck in traffic, maybe right before you go to sleep — you take a minute and think about something good in your life and really feel how grateful you are. Now, yes there are practices where you keep a gratitude journal and write it in every day, and yes I have no doubt if you did that it would be very powerful. But, if you don’t do it because you can’t seem to find the time, it’s not going to do you much good. Besides, my understanding is the key to a gratitude practice is how you feel — so if December 2015 Amazing Women

19


EMPOWERMENT up her fridge and focus on how grateful she was for the food in there. She would look around her house and feel grateful for being able to live there. And, after a few weeks of focused gratitude, her business started to turn around. Just start wherever you can and see what happens.

“Is this really going to work?” That’s a great question. I actually can’t guarantee it will work for you you focus on that (versus trying to do a gratitude practice the “right” way) you’ll attract more things in your life for you to be grateful for.

I can tell you that it certainly seems to work for other people. And I can also tell you that you’ll probably feel a lot happier when you’re feeling grateful.

“I can’t think of anything to feel grateful for.”

So, for myself, what I would say is why not give it a try? Even if it doesn’t work, it only takes a few minutes and if nothing else, you’ll feel a heck of a lot better (and that alone is worth something).

Yes, I get that too. There are days where it certainly feels like the only thing you have to grateful for is the fact you dragged yourself out of bed in the morning and didn’t allow yourself to go back to bed until that night.

Michele PW (Pariza Wacek) is the bestselling author of “Love-Based Copywriting” and the owner of Creative

And, I know on those days, telling you how lucky you actually are (you have food in your kitchen, a roof over your head, you’re still breathing, etc.) doesn’t help. If anything, it makes you feel worse. Ironically, the times you need your gratitude practice the most is when you least feel like you have anything to be grateful for. So, start small.

I knew a woman who was in a serious rough patch — her business was tanking and the bills were pilling up and nothing seemed to work. So she started practicing gratitude. She would

Concepts and Copywriting LLC, the premiere direct response copywriting and marketing agency in which she guides entrepreneurs in attracting more clients and boosting their business. Grab your FREE Love-Based Biz Kit Here: http://www.MichelePW.com

December 2015 Amazing Women

20


December 2015 Amazing Women

21


EMPOWERMENT

Ten Ways to Have a Truly Happy New Year By Michelle Roberts Make this New Year a great year by living your life well every day. By incorporating these good habits into your life moment by moment, you will have a wonderful year to celebrate.

5.

Clean up what needs cleaning up Make amends, fix what’s broken, clear away clutter, forgive what needs to be forgiven, and let go.

6. Commit to a project Set out on an adventure, no matter how small. Tackle an important problem, learn a valuable skill, and improve an aspect of your life. Set achievable goals and work toward them on a daily basis. 7. Support something you believe in Give time to a cause, group, individual, or family who needs your help. Plan to do something every day to make the world a better place. 8. Remember that you always have options Look for ways to increase the number and quality of the choices available to you, knowing that sometimes your best choice is acceptance of what is.



Slow Down Take time in each moment to savor your precious life. Keep a diary or journal of your adventures. Pause at the beginning and end of each day to celebrate your joys and accomplishments.

2. Take care of yourself Eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. Treat yourself to loving, nurturing selfcare. 3. Acknowledge your family and friends Communicate with the people in your life. Tell them that you love and appreciate them. Note their positive qualities and the joy they bring to your life.

4. Take time throughout the day to renew yourself Take a walk, read a poem or a novel, listen to music- do the things that bring beauty into your life.

9. Laugh, every single day Look for the humor in every situation. How important will this problem be in twenty years? 10. Always take time to dream Dreams are what will give your life its passion, its joy-and its direction. Take the time to develop your dreams so they will one day become your reality. Michelle A. Roberts is professional speaker & published Author from the Atlanta, GA area. She specializes in training and encouraging Women that they are over-comers, and can comeback from any challenge . http://www.michellearoberts.com December 2015 Amazing Women

22


EMPOWERMENT

Exercise the Power of Archer Parenting 3 Ways to Successfully Prepare Your Child For the World By Patricia Varlack

child’s name, the meaning and the intention of the meaning in the child's life will echo in the universe and the universe will echo back. Unconsciously others will be propelling your child into his or her intended destiny. By doing so, everyone will be helping you point your child in the direction you want it to go. Always remind your child of the meaning of his/her name and what great things you intended for him/her. This is a good way to boost your child's self esteem. What if I did not intentionally name my child with a specific name?

Archer Parenting is a conscious, consistent and focused parental style that can be implemented as early as during pregnancy. In Archer Parenting, children are like arrows and spiritual laws are like bows. You have the power to point your children into the direction you want them to go. The following 3 bows are how you as a parent can effectively point (direct) your arrows (children) to be successful as individuals and as part of society in general. 1. Archer parenting includes setting an intention to win. If you are expecting, even before your child is born, set an intention, choose and give your child names with great meanings. Let these be great meanings which you would like your children to embody or become. Whenever you or someone else calls your

If you already named your child, you can always double check or investigate the meaning of his/ her name on the Internet. If you discover that your child’s name has a negative meaning or has no meaning at all, I recommend that you change your child’s name at the census office. Of course explain your intentions first to your child. If you have a teenager, you will need to explain to him/her what you want to do and ask his/her permission to change the name. 2. Archer parenting includes claiming territory. Constantly declare positive things about your child into your child’s life, starting from in the womb. If you are pregnant, daily declare positive affirmations over your child’s life as you put your hand on your belly. Program and tell your unborn child what a great, successful, victorious, wealthy, good looking person, etc., he or she is. After your baby is born continue to daily speak great things to and into his or her life. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. In psychology we have the saying "self-fulfilling prophecy," meaning what we say comes to pass, either negative (curse) or positive December 2015 Amazing Women

23


EMPOWERMENT positive (blessing). We all have the power to create by speaking things into being. Too many parents are very negative in this respect. Often a parent would say to a child for example, you are just like your dad or you are just like your mom. And the" just like" is never meant in a positive way. When as a parent you choose negative affirmations, you are setting your child up for failure. So the key is to consciously and consistently switch from cursing to blessing. 3. Archer parenting includes becoming one with the arch and the bow. As an archer, you need to properly position yourself to become one in alignment with your shooting gear. If you want your arrows, your children to go in the right direction, you need to model which direction you want them to go. If you train up a child in the way it should go through modeling, which is the way through which children learn the best, you will have greater success in achieving your aim. In other words, you have to check yourself first to see if your life is in accordance to how you would like your children to live before telling them how you would like them to live Too often parents tell and show something completely different and act shocked when the child ends up doing differently than what they always told the child to do. Actions speak louder than words. We will automatically teach our children integrity

when our positive words compliment and go hand in hand with our positive actions.

And finally please note that Archer Parenting will not only benefit the children but also the parents who practice it. If for example you call your daughter Princess, a conscious Archer Parent will need to be a Queen or a King to train up a princess accordingly. An Archer Parent has to be a positive parent to consistently speak positivity into her child's life because you cannot give what you do not have. And an Archer Parent is a role model to her children. Noting the overall benefits for parents and children of Archer Parenting, why not exercise the power of Archer Parenting starting today? Patricia Varlack resides in the Dutch Caribbean where she is president of Greater Works Foundation, which promotes writing through organizing writers conferences and writers critique groups. Patricia has published 8 books, including "How to Gain Spiritual Muscles", "The Different Faces of a Dysfunctional Family", "How to Cook and Eat your Boss", a quarterly Christian women's magazine called "Greater Things" and writes articles on numerous topics for local newspapers. Patricia is also the director of Instruction Center for the Wise, where she is a teacher, conference speaker and life coach. You can follow Patricia on face book and twitter. December 2015 Amazing Women

24


EMPOWERMENT

Say Yes in the Face of Fear

The fear of the unknown was looming, a new location, new people and a new body.

By Rev. Nanci Adair Think about the last time you allowed fear to stand in the way of doing something you wanted to do. According to a google search, our number one fear is of failure. There are more people afraid of failing then there are people afraid of dying. I’m not talking here about Big fears. I’m talking about the fear that prevents you from going after your dream.

Present was the fear of ridicule, the fear of rejection and the eminent fear of loneliness. The free membership was for one year. The gym opened in Feb. Bob didn’t start going until July. And guess what, he liked it. When we are stopped by fear, the very thing we are afraid of comes to pass. Bob was afraid of meeting new people and stayed home. In my book Achieve The Summit of Your Dreams I talk about internalized fearleaders. Remember that saying, sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me? It wasn't true.

The dream of starting your own business or radio show. The fear of going out on a date. The fear of closing on a new house you hope to call home. Just last night I was on Skype with my brother Bob. Back in January of 2015 he took out a new healthcare policy that provided a free membership in any one of several local gyms. Why not take advantage, right? Last year Bob shed unwanted pounds and looks fantastic. However, the very fact that this was something new led him to procrastinate. First he chose a gym close to his home that had not opened their doors yet.

Take for example the bully on the playground. Perhaps your parents applied too much pressure. As so many parents and schools today place upon the gifted the burden of enormously high expectations. Then come the friends who unknowingly ask, “Do you really think you should?” A friend who squashes your sense of adventure with well meaning caution with a statement like, “It really isn't safe to travel out of the country alone.” Then there are the life partners who say, “We can’t justify an expenditure of this magnitude at this time.” “I'd love to support you but have you thought this through?” Fearleaders are the people in our lives who put a wet blanket over our passions. Fearleaders question your instincts, evaluate and dissect your brainstorms, minimize your needs and find rational excuses to say no. December 2015 Amazing Women

25


EMPOWERMENT Here is precisely what you can do. I suggest you give your fearleaders time to express their concerns and listen politely to them. Give your fearleaders a cup of herbal tea. If you try automatically to banish a critic, even that internalized critical voice, it only gives the critic additional power.

Often it isn't even the current fearleaders in our lives that cause the most trouble. Rather it is the internalized critical voice from within. The voice of fearleaders that haunt you from the past reminding us of our previous mistakes.

When you discount your fears they grow stronger. Acknowledge their presence and then proceed to redirect their energy. Once your fears feel that they have been heard they will be less invasive and consume less of your valuable energy. More of what you can do. UKandu

The internal voice. The stories we tell ourselves. I can't do it. I'm not up to the task. I can't do it well enough. I can't ever seem to finish what I start so why begin again? And if you have succeeded in the past your internal fearleaders will have you saying, I can't do it again.

I loved hearing Elizabeth Gilbert, during the introduction of her Ted talk, address the expectations of her fans. After the wild success of her book Eat, Pray, Love her fans flocked around asking her, “What’s next?” At first she succumbed to fear, and believed her internal voice saying, “I can’t do it again.” Yes, you can. UKandu

You can replace your fearleaders with cheerleaders. Cheerleaders come in all shapes and sizes. Cheerleaders are people who encourage you. Cheerleaders also do not have to reside among your friends and family to cheer you on. Although it’s terrific when cheerleaders are close, the memory of someone's love can also be a powerful force. Even sports heroes, historical figures, fictional characters can all provide inspiration. The essence of my book Achieve The Summit of Your Dreams and my UKandu radio show is all about taking inspired action. So let me tell you about the title UKandu and where it comes from.

December 2015 Amazing Women

26


EMPOWERMENT Kandu spelled Kandu is the story of a woman who ran a teahouse with her sister up in the mountains. Climbers came to the teahouse before and after climbing the greatest mountains in the world. Kandu began to dream of one day assisting the climbers as a Sherpa. Only women Sherpas were unheard of in Nepal at this time in history. Kandu sold the tea House and studied mountaineering. If Kandu can you can too. Cheerleaders are people who won't commiserate with you for very long. Feeling sorry for oneself is not a characteristic of a cheerleader. They simply wouldn't make the Cheerleaders are active. They're able to comfort when you are hurt and quickly assess how soon they can support your next action. Cheerleaders today are sexy, high energy, well organized, spirited individuals with a message. Cheerleaders want you to win. Time for tryouts. Who would you want on your team? Bring into your mind a person who has one or more of the above mentioned attributes.

your cheerleaders to your advantage in a life coaching strategy I all the GoalModel Method. The GoalModel Method teaches you how: To win. To succeed. To know without a shadow of a doubt that you can. In the book I call cheerleaders, GoalModels. The simplest definition of a goalmodel is a person you admire. Someone who inspires you. Part of the function of each of your goalmodels is to cheer you on. The GoalModel method of life coaching is an achievement method I created for your success. It's fair to say you don't need just one cheerleader you need a whole team. I've heard it said that we have an itty-bitty shitty committee in our heads. This committee is taking up rent free space in our brains, conducting a symphony of fears. We have such an easy time giving ourselves crap. We need a whole team of cheerleaders if we want to overcome that number one fear. Remember google’s top listed fear? The fear of failure. Right now I'm going to tell you a story about someone I admire, actress, Cicily Tyson.

Cheerleaders, not unlike our internalized fearleaders can have a powerful impact on how we play the game. My book Achieve The Summit of Your Dreams which I've mentioned a couple of times already; goes into much greater length on how to use December 2015 Amazing Women

27


EMPOWERMENT Following an audition for a part in the movie ‘Because of Winn-Dixie’ Cicily Tyson’s own fearleaders convinced her she wasn't going to receive the role. Cicily told a national audience that she could not get out of bed for two weeks while waiting for the studio to call. More than all the wonderful work that she's done in education and the enormous talent that she has shown the world, more than all of it, I just love that someone who we think of as having it all, can admit that she couldn't get out of bed. I like using this example because it illustrates how everyone gets frightened. I'm an ordained interfaith minister, a licensed counselor with a Masters degree in counseling psychology, as well as an ICF certified coach. Common knowledge in the field of neuroscience is the fight or flight syndrome. There is a third leg on that stool. In addition to fight or flight there is a freeze response. How true this is in the Cicily Tyson example? How true this is in most of our lives? We become paralyzed in the face of fear.

There is someone who has gone before you. Back in 2006, I believe it was, I was interviewed by Dave Buck, President of Coachville. One of his cheerleaders was Thomas Edison. Dave was inspired by Edison’s drive to create light without a flame.

Here is an example of an inventor creating something that had never been done before. Even so there are many people who have been obsessed with an idea and not giving up on it, until they make it a reality. Do I know for certain that Thomas Edison had his own cheerleaders? No. I am certain of after years of studying success principles and successful people that they all had mentors. One of my favorite quotes is from Thomas Edison. In an interview Edison was asked, Why don’t you quit? What keeps you from stopping in your effort to produce the lightbulb when you have failed 9000 times? Edison replied, I have yet to fail. I have learned 9000 ways not to make a lightbulb. What's different about my GoalModel method of life coaching is that you don't have to pay out tons of money to be part of an exclusive mastermind team, to hire a mentor or have a conversation with someone currently our of your reach. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for you investing in yourself. I joined A Taste of Mentoring group with Jeff Herring, whose content marketing strategies have impressed me for years. You can look forward to hearing Jeff on my UKandu radio show in the future. I’ve invested in the Talk to Cash Mastermind with Raven Blair Glover or as she likes to be known Raven the talk show maven and crowned the Queen of Blab. Raven is the creator of Amazing Women of Power radio. Her mentor is Lisa Sasaevich who I also admire. However mentoring directly with Lisa is presently out of my reach. Lisa can be on my GoalModel team. Without spending a penny and without leaving my home I can learn from Lisa, how to overcome fear. December 2015 Amazing Women

28


EMPOWERMENT I can Say Yes in the Face of Fear and go after my dreams and so can you. If one mentor is helpful imagine how powerful a team of mentors will be. Let’s recount the 3 keys in this article. 1. Give your fearleaders a cup of tea 2. Be inspired by someone who has gone before you. 3. Replace fearleaders with cheerleaders. Let me show you how powerful this can be. Call me via 207-7801681 for a free 1/2 hour Say Yes in the Face of Fear coaching session. Rev. Nanci Adair, LCPC, CCS, CUG, ACC The executive producer and host of UKandu radio Mondays 12:30EST on the Amazing Women of Power Network AWOP247.com www.UKanduradio.com

Visit Amazon.com today

December 2015 Amazing Women

29


EMPOWERMENT

3 Steps to Finish Strong By Melva J. McGlen

There is an old adage, which says, “How you start is how you finish.” After hearing people constantly complain about how they can’t wait until the year is over at the end of “every” year, I doubt if anyone believes “how we start is how we finish.” You see, the arrival of the New Year usually brings with it excitement, new prospects, and seemingly a zeal to take on the world! Yes, it seems we dream bigger, work harder, and do more at the beginning of the year than we do near the end of the year.

Somewhere between toasting to the New Year and eating leftover turkey five days after Thanksgiving has past us by, we lose our enthusiasm. Now, the projects and dreams we couldn’t wait to launch at the beginning of the year doesn’t seem to excite any more. In fact, it has been weeks since we have even thought about it. This doesn’t have to be your story, not this year or any other year. There are 3 things you can do to assure your year will finish strong.

1. As entrepreneurs, visionaries, business owners, parents etc. life for us can become hectic causing us to short circuit and burn out by the end of the year. Like computers our minds can be overloaded with so much to think through and process until we are no longer able to operate at full capacity. We begin to slow down a great deal. We become tired, worn out and usually not as quick or sharp as we were at the beginning of the year. When a computer is overloaded, freezes, or slows down we are often instructed to reboot. The process of rebooting starts with shutting down. You shut down the computer in order to restart and refresh the hard drive in an attempt to make it function at a higher capacity once it has been rebooted. The same thing applies for the person who is experiencing year-end burn out. The person who can’t seem to find the strength to finish strong. The first step is to shut it down. Take some time for yourself. Go to the spa, spend the day resting, reading, listening to some relaxing music or taking a nice long walk. Whatever you do, try not to think about much including work, clients, or business for at least one full day or maybe more depending on your situation. You will know how much time is required for you to recharge. Rebooting will revitalize, refresh, and re-energize you to get back up with the strength you need to complete those unfinished projects. December 2015 Amazing Women

30


EMPOWERMENT

2. Again juggling work, business, and wearing various hats can be a challenge and more importantly it can cause us to lose focus. You can’t finish strong when you have lost sight of the main thing. Re-focusing is much like rebooting, only it doesn’t just require a physical shut down, it requires a mental shut down. You can accomplish this by putting an end to all negative thoughts and declarations, which goes something like this, “I’m exhausted, I’m only one person, there’s no way I’ll ever finish this project. Yada, yada, yada!!! Before you know it you are making daily confessions about what you cannot do. The barrage of negativity will ultimately take a toll, causing you to lose sight of your goals. Whenever this occurs you will need to rethink, reevaluate and rework your plan. This could be something as simple as going back to your vision board, or business plan you created when you first had the thought to start your business or special project. It’s like revisiting a time in your life when creativity flowed freely and you were at the top of your game. Going back to the place it all started is a good way to help you snap out of the cycle of stinking thinking that stops you from focusing in on your goals; therefore hindering you from finishing strong. Simply put, you need to get re-focused!

3. This is the final step in the process to assure you will be able to finish strong. It should come as no surprise, that during the time we are suffering from burnout, and losing focus of our goals some things are lost. This may include the ability to dream, to take action and/or the capacity and strength to complete assignments. No matter what the loss, you must work to reclaim it. You have to be determined to regain and get back your cutting-edge. You didn’t come all this way, to lie down and die. You must fight against the urge to give up, and throw in the towel. Instead, you need to assess the damage, count the cost and think about what you are leaving on the table. Think long and hard about what it is worth to you then go back and pick up the pieces. Revive your dream, re-establish your vision, and restructure your plan. In other words, you have to refuse to accept failure and get back every God-given promise that has your name on it. Trust God to carry you through to completion. He is always willing to finish the good work he created in you. This my friend is how you can finish strong! Melva J. McGlen an acclaimed author, innovative entrepreneur, inspirational speaker, mentor and coach who has dedicated her life works to providing others with the spiritual and professional tools they need to realize their full potential and achieve their dreams. Her works extended throughout the world including the USA, West & East Africa and South America, where those who have received her message through workshops and conferences have reported tremendous improvements in their personal and professional lives. Native to Washington, D.C., Melva is a graduate of Liberty University and founder & CEO of multiple businesses. The developments in her career have brought her to reside in Houston, Texas.

December 2015 Amazing Women

31


EMPOWERMENT

Achieve All Your New Year’s Resolutions By Sherry Prindle As the year comes to a close, think of all the possibilities you can create with a new beginning in a new year. Rather than give up on resolutions, learn and take the right steps to achieve them.

1. Begin with Your Ideal Lifestyle: Draw up an hour-by-hour plan for your ideal day. Draw up an ideal week. Draw up an ideal month. Write up a vision of where you would like to be one year from now. 2. Use Your Values as a Basis: Think about your values, and list what is important to you, your priorities. Common areas include Family, Health, Spirituality, Career, Happiness, Growth, Causes, Wealth, Home, Travel, Hobbies, Friends, Self… 3. I recommend doing this in a mind map like the one pictured on the next page. Give each value a color code, and break each down into sub categories. 4. Do a time log of a week of your life. Color code items on the time log in accordance with their corresponding values. 5. Look at the areas with no color, and determine if you may have missed a priority. It may be your intrinsic priority, which is something you naturally give priority to. It is part of your fiber and closely tied to your beliefs and experience. You need no

accountability to follow through on it; you honor this priority every day and are very satisfied with this area. When I did this and found large areas of white. I looked for commonalities, and realized they were all things I was doing for adventure. I identified adventure as an intrinsic priority, and made sure to honor it as a part of my lifestyle. 6. Re-Engineer Your Actions to Match Your Ideal: Create a schedule that rearranges the use of time as you logged it into a plan that more closely matches your ideal lifestyle. 7. Create Resolutions that will help you achieve your ideal lifestyle. We can only hold 7 plus or minus 2 things in short-term memory, so break anything with 10 or more moving parts into tasks using mind maps. 8. Break Down Resolutions with Mind Maps Take any goal, dream, or project you have not yet accomplished and write it in a circle, then think, “What steps do I need to take to achieve the goal.” Branch the main steps off of the center, then break the large pieces down, breaking the large sub-tasks down— continuing until the last layer of every branch is a task. How do you know you’ve reached a task? You know exactly what to do—you have no questions. For example, if you wanted to write a book and started mapping out the steps but got stuck, that would indicate that you probably don’t know what to do next. In that case, write, “How” (short, keyword entry for “find out how”) on the map, then branch off the ways to research what to do. Perhaps you would come up with, “book,” “group,” and “Internet” as entries (short, keyword entries for “find a book,” “join a group,” and

December 2015 Amazing Women

32


EMPOWERMENT

Mind Map

December 2015 Amazing Women

33


EMPOWERMENT “search the Internet”) Going to a bookstore to get a book on how to write a book is a task. As a side note, what is a task to one person may be a project to another. I could search the Internet and it would be a task, but if I asked my mother to do it, I would have to explain some steps. Keep this in mind when you give someone a work assignment. If you have been doing the job for a long time, you might not remember that there are steps in the process that must be broken down for someone less experienced. Once the project has been broken down, it’s easier to decide in what order to perform the tasks, what can be done simultaneously, and what resources you’ll need. Without the map, we just start . . . and stop . . . and realize while we are doing it what the steps are. Rather than work on a project with the steps hidden, get them out and get organized. Assign one resolution per month. By working on one resolution at a time, you can stay focused and achieve twelve in a year, so prioritize, and schedule. Schedule and Achieve In order to make goals happen, we need to create a breakdown structure supported by an accountability structure on multiple levels.

Start by envisioning anything you want. Set midrange and short-term goals while scheduling specific weekly tasks. It is also important to identify your INTRINSIC priority and a KEY priority – the one that if accomplished will most facilitate the achievement of all the others. Compose a set of DAILY actions that restructure habits and drive momentum and integrity. There need to be some boundaries or non-negotiables in place to create commitment. Perhaps the most important part is the telescope. So many of our day-to-day tasks are designed to keep us the way we are now. Make sure you can see a straight line to your larger big-picture goals. If I do these daily actions, weekly plans, monthly objectives, etc., can I reach my overall goals? If not, restructure the smaller steps to lead to the ultimate goal using projects-to-tasks breakdown. Achieve all your goals with the help of a coach. Or what about becoming a life and executive coach yourself? Visit http:// professionalcoachacademy.com/ for more information. Have the faith and courage to believe in yourself. Combine that with the motivation and structure outlined here, and you have yourself a very productive new year!

December 2015 Amazing Women

34


EMPOWERMENT

Follow Your Stars to Success and Fulfillment By Dr. M. Kelley Hunter "We saw his star as it rose and have come to do Him homage." —Matthew 2:2-3

missing. Sometimes we look in the wrong places to satisfy that emptiness. We all have a story. The story of our lives is often told through our early experiences, what other people tell us about ourselves, the impact of events in our lives, by our successes and, often, our failures. What is your true story? You can find it in the stars. When you change your story, you change your life.

At Christmas, we celebrate the birth of the Holy Child, and remember the Star in the East that guided the Wise Men to his birthplace to honor Him with precious gifts. These Magi were stargazers, readers of the heavenly cycles. Humans have ever looked to the heavens for universal wisdom. Your Story in the Stars We all seek a connection to something greater than ourselves. The Great Spirit knows who you are and sends you into the world at a specific time and place to accomplish your life purpose. Your cosmic blueprint, or planetary birth chart, shows the basic building blocks to your success and happiness in life. When you know what these are, you can work with them. Often, though, we get off-track early on. We may not feel truly seen by those close to us or encouraged to follow our hearts to find our true path. We are often told what to do, with little choice to make our own decisions. Our upbringing and early experiences impress us with a deep, subconscious sense of identity that often obscures our true essence. Social influences tell what to think and how to behave. If we are not expressing who we really are, we eventually come to feel lost and unhappy inside, no matter how successful or accomplished we may appear to others. There is a sense that something is

Your Cosmic Blueprint for Success and Love The most important purpose of your cosmic blueprint is to awaken your self-awareness, so that you see yourself more clearly and more fully. Selfawareness is the key to self-empowerment. More of us are interested in finding and fulfilling our true Life Purpose—which is not just about having success in the eyes of the world, but about being of service, living up to our capabilities and making a meaningful contribution to the world. I believe it is also a spiritual quest, a longing of the soul to feel connected to something greater than our small selves. It's about loving others and ourselves, with a sweet smile deep in our hearts. Your cosmic blueprint shows this greater connection, indicating how the life force moves through you. As you live your life, the blueprint takes form and continues to demonstrate that you are truly seen and supported by the heavens. Your unique map offers personal guidance as ongoing planetary December 2015 Amazing Women

35


EMPOWERMENT cycles unfold day-by-day and year-by-year. The two big areas of life that people ask me about most often are: 1.

career success

2.

love relationships.

"There is a time to every purpose under Heaven," says the Bible. Haven't we heard again and again that "timing is everything"? Your particular planetary pattern indicates your natural talents and abilities, your strong suits and skill sets to develop and apply. It shows what you bring to the table in any situation and where to focus your career for your best success—and to fulfill your life purpose. It also indicates timing. By following ongoing cycles, we can note the best times to take action or to step back, to open a business or to close one, to buy or to sell, to think things through or to ask for support, to consolidate gains or to take advantage of opportunities to grow and expand.

Sometimes we are just not thinking clearly or are confused by the many options we have in front of us. Perhaps we are overly optimistic about a great new idea or seduced by the glitter and glamour of a new job offer. Is this the right time? Is this company the right one? Are we ready to quit the job and open our own business? We have doubts; we hear conflicting opinions from advisors and those close to us. We need some clear information and a confirmed sense of timing. I knew when it was the right time for me. Even though all things were not totally in place, the cosmic indicators were clear that I was in a transition time. I needed to take a leap onto the proverbial bridge across the waters, even though I could not see the other side. There were warnings that my health would suffer if I stayed in the job and living situation where I was. My daughter had graduated high school. As a single mother I was now free to make new choices. I left that stale job, simplified my lifestyle and had "a little help from my friends." It took courage and creativity, but I took back my life and "did it my way" (with divine guidance). My self-confidence and motivation grew. I developed a consulting practice and started to write and publish articles. I organized a conference. I furthered my education, wrote two books, and found opportunities to meet and work with interesting people. I gained a reputation in my field. It was time. Is it time for you? Looking for Love with all the Right People Most often we start out making relationship choices based on old patterns, without really knowing what we are looking for. Your cosmic blueprint describes those patterns that are impressed early on and how they serve you in some ways and undermine you in other ways. Habits, fears and selfdoubts dim when you shine the light on uplifting factors essential for your emotional wellbeing and December 2015 Amazing Women

36


EMPOWERMENT happiness. Your personal blueprint also suggests your love style— what your heart truly desires and the kind of person who will be your best match. This is not a simple question and the answer is not the same for everyone. Some of us want to build a rich home life, raising family and animals, cooking and entertaining friends and neighbors at our welcoming hearth. Some of us are adventurers, our need for independence to sometimes go off and do our own thing. Some of us want to live and work with a person we deeply love and respect, to share bedroom and office, creating a partnership on many levels. Some of us want all of those experiences at different times in our lives! What is right for you?

A couple came to me with questions about their relationship. She was a quiet person, who needed to feel close, cherished and protected. His emotionality was full of drama and fire. He needed a partner who wanted a spicy tango. It relieved them both to have their needs recognized. They could even laugh to hear their typical conversations so clearly scripted. There was no one to blame. Neither of them was wrong. They were just not right for each other. Planetary patterns can illumine any type of relationship, not just romance and partnerships. Parents and children, siblings and friends come to understand and accept the other as an individual, then more able to work around any troubling dynamics between them. Business colleagues can see how best to best harness their individual strengths for joint success. As we consult the heavenly cycles of the stars and planets, we tune into the universal stories that convey the wisdom of the ages. We find our own stories, waking us up to the truth of who we are. Be inspired to a deeper level of self-awareness and self-confidence to fully express your unique being and life purpose. We need empowering images to open our minds to new ways of thinking and being. Follow your stars into this third millennium, an ear when we Amazing Women (and Men) of Power are truly coming into our own.

Two people meet: what is this relationship about? Sometimes we try to make a relationship into something it's not meant to be. When there is a strong attraction, we may have a blind spot due to wishful thinking. We don't see that person for who they are but for who we want them to be. Or we accommodate the other person for the sake of relationship in a way that undermines, not only the relationship itself, but also our own self-esteem.

M. Kelley Hunter, Ph.D., is an internationally-respected teacher, entertaining presenter, published author, personal consultant and spiritual counselor. Author of Living Lilith: Four Dimensions of the Cosmic Feminine and Black Moon Lilith, she contributes to various journals and anthologies, and publishes her own Cosmic News email newsletter. Visit her website, http://heliastar.com or her Facebook page, Kelley Hunter, AstroMythology.

December 2015 Amazing Women

37


EMPOWERMENT

Goodbye 2015, Hello 2016 By LJ Jackson

Were my dreams and I meant for each other or had I made a big mistake? I wondered as I searched my heart. Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever separated yourself from your dreams, put them on the shelf or back burner…or even considered divorcing your dreams because making your dreams come true would require more effort and commitment than you initially anticipated? As the saying goes, “Anything worth having is worth working for and waiting for”, right?

A couple of months ago, I attended my friend’s beautiful wedding and it got me to thinking. As I listened to them put their own spin on their commitment and promises to one another for the rest of their lives.

The good news is we can renew our vowels to our dreams at any given moment. We can break the cycle of waiting to the start of a new year or put our dreams on the shelf because they didn’t work out the first time. Starting today, we can start over; we can begin to shift, change, and grow! Like walking down the aisle just take one action, one step at a time. Because saying “I do” to your dreams is really saying, “I do” to you!

I wondered, “How many of us take the same initiative to honor, cherish, and hold our dreams sacred?” especially as we prepare to say Goodbye 2015, Hello 2016! I must confess that 3 years ago I made a commitment to be married to my dreams, I even used a ring I had bought for myself as a symbol and reminder of my commitment, but after making that commitment, much like in a marriage I experienced challenges that I had no idea I would face. And honestly, some of them were so challenging that I found myself considering the dreaded “D” word as I found myself separated from my dreams, wondering if we could make it and if all the challenges, struggles, and resistance showing up was all worth it.

Here are 3 Key tips to stay committed to Your Dreams as you take a look back at 2015, and start to explore and decide what to create for 2016. 1. Write down your dreams, what worked, what didn’t work, and where you’d like to be. December 2015 Amazing Women

38


EMPOWERMENT 2. List all the reasons you are passionate and what attracts you to your dreams (regardless of what anyone else says). Next ask yourself what your dreams mean to you and why you want to celebrate what worked in 2015 and follow through on for 2016.

Award Winning Women’s Empowerment Expert, Mentor, Inspirational Speaker, Executive Producer, Author, Certified Master-NLP Coach & Success Coach with 20 Years of experience heling 10000’s achieve breakthroughs and see their dreams come true. LJ has degrees in Psychology, Counseling and guidance, and also received Life Coach training through RMT, the official premiere life coach training program of Tony Robbins. Recognized as an Inspirational Women of the Year by Women’s Network Radio (WNRN), VIP Professional of the Year by NAPW for 2014-15; and selected as a Women of Outstanding leadership by IWLA for 2014/2015. LJ is currently accepting applications, apply online at www.personalpowerwithin.com!

3. Then, renew your vows to your dreams and decide that as long as you live and have breath in your body, you are going to do what it takes to honor, cherish, and have a satisfied and fulfilling relationship with your dreams. Giving them the time, energy, and respect they deserve so that you can look back years from now happy and glad you put the effort, time, and energy needed to see your dreams come true.

Are you experiencing the same frustrations you did in your last relationship? Award winning expert L.J. Jackson & her guest experts (many who've been featured on National Radio and Television: Oprah, NBC, MSNBC, CNN), have just the thing!

Did you know that most people wing it in relationships, when they don't have too? Discover how to improve your relationships! Solutions to your problems Step by step ways to uncover what's getting in the way

Clear-cut answers and tips that will benefit you in your relationships Order YOUR Copy Today! December 2015 Amazing Women

39


EMPOWERMENT

The Embroidery Hoop By Michele Downey “We needed to learn, like our old friend Dorothy from Kansas, that there’s no place like home, because there is no place but Home. When we learn that God is everywhere, that Love fills all space, and that Truth is the very Ground of our Being, we may surely release the little to embrace the All.” Taken from “The Dragon Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” by Alan Cohen “Behold the turtle, who makes progress only when he sticks his neck out” “To be free, to be able to stand up and leave everything behind-without looking back. To say “Yes”- Dag Hammarskjold I looked over these separate readings and started a journey in my thoughts. I am prone to going off in my head with these kinds of thoughts since I was a little child. Maybe it was the artist or writer in me. Somehow I get comfort from these musings. I wanted to share my most recent reflections, as it is the ending of a year and the beginning of another. It’s also the holiday season. It’s a truly mixed bag for me.

The holidays always hold great promise and joy but equally as much challenge or potential for crisis and challenge. For most of my clients, who have been affected by friends and family with mental illness and/or addictions, it has been a little like a “pop” quiz. It seems that there is always a greater potential for a crisis during the holidays. Families don’t seem to fit into the Rockwell paintings and rehearse the problems they have. It’s as if this “pop quiz” by the Universe gets to see how much my clients have learned in terms of the tools of self-care and boundaries. It’s my busiest time of year for my business in terms of problems and new clients. The house is usually on fire and I don’t have time to inspect the foundation, I simply need to help them get the fire out as fast as possible. As in a medical triage in my nursing days, we need to keep the client and or/family alive and do first things first. It’s often a tough business. As a marriage and family therapist for over 30 years, I have often seen myself as The Good Witch, Glinda, with her wand in the movie OZ. (I even commissioned Bob Womack, an incredible pop artist, to paint a picture of me being the Good Witch, Glinda, as I have it in my mind). My job has always really been about convincing my clients that they were like Dorothy and had the Power all along.... their own personal power. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, and circumstances that obscure their vision, I know that they have free-will choice. This is the secret power that they have if I can convince them. I absolutely know it. I have no doubt that this Power exists. I must admit that even for myself, though, these “appearances to the contrary” look pretty darn convincing. December 2015 Amazing Women

40


EMPOWERMENT In the moment, I, too have the same dilemma. When I am feeling sad, depressed, or discontent with my life, I am faced with the same challenges. Although I may not have the intensity they do, I have to remind myself, that some things are not, in that moment, real. Fear underlies all of my actions and can take over at a moment’s notice if I don’t have my “directions”. I must remember that I have the power of choice.

Whether taking the form of loss (relationships, people, love, money, career, job, security, death) or in the form of overwhelming obstacles, I, too, have been pretty convinced it appeared hopeless. This strange paradoxical doubt has passed in time. I never doubted for my clients, however. I could always see clearly what they own for their Power. Sometimes, I think that my severely mentally ill clients (the ones with Bi-Polar, Schizophrenic or Schizo-Affective disorders) do better than the “normal” growth or marital therapy clients. At least the mentally ill ones, who have experienced the psychotic and delusional thoughts, can be trained over time (and with medication) to focus on what is in front of them to do. They can be taught during that period to ignore their feelings and thoughts when they are having though distortions or problems with their de-stabilizing psychiatric medications. We focus on the moment, and “this too shall pass” and “be like a soldier” and do the self -care routines that they have learned, whether they want to or not. They have enough humility and practice over time to not even engage the negative or distorted thoughts, (as tempting as it would be to believe those thoughts).

I tell my clients that even if the thoughts are too strong, they have the power of choice to pick up the telephone, go to a support group, pray, meditate, exercise, sleep or be in the company of someone who understands. They can find comfort in their pets or someone whom they love. They can distract themselves with a humorous movie or a good book. They can start making their gratitude lists beginning with things like “eyes to see, ears to hear, heart to love, food in my stomach, roof over my head, gas and a car, etc.” They have the power of choice. This is the power to choose what to focus on. What they can do, rather than what they cannot do. I, too, must remind myself of these tools in my toolkit.

December 2015 Amazing Women

41


EMPOWERMENT

I have a therapy poodle. I call him my “TheraPoodle” and he has been assisting in my work for many years. His very gentle presence comforts even the most seriously disturbed. I have seen him work in groups with my clients and individuals in ways that I had believed at one time was not possible for a dog to do. I had to ask my clients to give me a reality check at times when his work was so powerful. Never once was I told I had imagined it. The power of animals to heal is without a doubt one of my first lines of defense when I work with people. I can’t always help my clients. Despite my education, professional training and years of experience, I have my limitations. If they are willing and open-minded, I can still only agree to walk with them on their journey, reflect back what I see and be compassionate with their choices. I also have to be firm and set limits and boundaries for myself. In doing so, I model what they need to do. I can share my own experiences (strength and hope) and/or my failures. Ultimately, however, the journey, the choices, and the growth end up being theirs, and theirs alone.

Last week, I heard my daughter say in her wisdom that when she was having a hard time with her latest pregnancy, she remembers the stitch work story. A Nazi Holocaust survivor was sharing and looking down to complete her stitch work as she spoke. When she was done, she asked everyone to look at the backside of the work. There were plenty of knots and thread that made it look messy and completely chaotic. However, when she turned it around to show the completed front of her embroidery hoop, the beauty of her work was easily seen. She said that this was how God had used everything that happened to her, which she had seen as the backside of the stitchery. Unknown to her, all along, the Divine Design always had a beautiful plan and only recently had she seen the finished work.

I try to remember that there are no accidents in each of our lives and anything can be used for God or Good if we have the proper perspective. I think that some of that same experience of humility is necessary to recognize that I teach best what I most need to learn. I am honored when I can share a part of my client’s journey. It has the power to strengthen my own. Ultimately, we are all One, whether we are the teacher or the student, the therapist or the client, the healer or the healed. It’s called being a Spiritual Being while living in a human condition.

Michele Downey is an RN LMFT in private practice since 1987. As a radio show host, Michele engineers and produces the show called “Design for Living” on “The Amazing Women of Power” by Raven International. December 2015 Amazing Women

42


EMPOWERMENT

13 Things To Do NOW to Make 2015 One to Remember By Anna Sheller During the holidays, it's easy to slip into busy mode. We finish one task only to start another. By the time New Year's arrives, we are just grateful for a little rest before launching into the new year. Now is a good time to do something to make 2015 memorable. Look over this list, or come up with your own! 1. Call a friend you haven't seen in a while. Reconnect. Calling an old friend and catching up on old times reminds you that you have a life, and that people still care about you! The holidays provide a perfect excuse to dial and see how things are going. 2. Paint a picture. Do you remember finger painting as a child? Mixing the colors on a piece of paper and creating a unique expression of your emotions was so freeing. Look for a business that specializes in helping people discover the artist within. Often called "Paint and Sips", you spend 2 hours with your favorite wine in a group of people with an instructor who guides you in how to make your own wonderful painting. Now you have a tangible reminder of your inner artist! 3.

Dance with your children! Music and children and laughter go together! Dancing is a great form of exercise. Just moving around gets those endorphins into action. Setting aside the usual inhibitions and connecting with children in your life (or if you

have them, grandchildren!) will lift your mood. Remember to take pictures while you're at it. 4. Spend the holiday working at a soup kitchen. Science has discovered that serving other people relieves depression. And giving to others less fortunate than ourselves helps us feel good about ourselves. I still remember the first 20mile walkathon I did for the March of Dimes. My blistered feet ached that night, but I felt sooo good about sacrificing for a worthy cause. 5. Buy a toy for a child and give it to the Marine Corps’ “Toys for Tots" When I was little, I didn't understand the saying, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." As an adult, I found it was true. And giving builds a sense of abundance in our lives. Find a picture of a child who has benefited from the toy drive to remind you of the joy you are spreading in the world. 6. Visit the residents at a nursing home. Brighten your day by spending time with a nursing home resident. They often have amazing stories that will keep you enthralled. Make this a practice throughout the year. Most folks in a nursing care facility are forgotten by family and friends, except at Christmas. Make this the year you make a difference in someone else's life. 7. Open your home for 3 hours to your neighbors and offer light refreshments. My husband and I are planning to do this. You can create a cozy place for people to stop in during a busy day of Christmas shopping to drink a warm cup of cider and eat a few cookies. The next time you see your neighbors in their yard, you will have a new connection and a new friend. December 2015 Amazing Women

43


EMPOWERMENT 8. Read a good book. I love a good book, don't you? Escape for a little while in another world with a good book. Historical fiction is my favorite, and yours may be different. But find something you can get lost in, and schedule some time for reading. 9. Visit a children's hospital and read a book to a sick child. Good books help children in a hospital escape their circumstances, too. Giving time to another human being benefits both of you. Time with a book can be the greatest gift you can give. 10. Commit to journaling for 30 days, only writing about the things you are thankful for. You get what you focus on. Do you want good things? Then focus on the good in your life by journaling. Writing things down forces you to focus on those things, plus you are creating a record for you to look back on later. 11. Write a thank you note to your pastor or rabbi or minister, letting them know how they have made a difference in your life. Writing a note of thanks to your minister is a form of giving. They tirelessly prepare for their messages, often without knowing the impact they are having on people's lives. Letting them know how they have helped you will bless them more than a box of chocolates.

12. Give your spouse or significant other 15 minutes of your undivided attention. Time. It is our most precious resource. Sharing our valuable time with our spouses is one of the greatest gifts we give them. If this is not your habit, then start with 5 minutes and work your way up. Put away your cell phone and social media, and just spend time getting to know them again. 13. List your successes for the year and write thank you notes to the people who helped you achieve that success. Everyone knows the value of listing your success, but few thank the people who helped them achieve that success. Schedule time to write thank you notes or include them in your Christmas letter. Not only does this acknowledge how they have helped you, but it also builds relationships that lead to future success. Does that get you started? Hopefully, this list is gets your juices going. 2015 is nearly over, so do something to make it a year to remember!

Anna Scheller is a Diamond Level Sales Trainer with Eric Lofholm International. After studying sales she grew her corporate housing company, and discovered that she had a talent for coaching. Married to Phillip Scheller for 33 years, she is also the proud mother of 7 children. Anna is our newest host on Amazing Women of Power, with her show, Sales Mastery. She believes that good sales people also take time to take

December 2015 Amazing Women

44


December 2015 Amazing Women

45


LIFESTYLE

Forgive and Celebrate Making It Through The Holidays By Mary Smith Moore Forgiveness Is A Process—remember, you don’t forgive someone for his or her sake—you forgive them for your sake. (On a side note, I just read that as “sake,” the drink. I think that means it’s time for me to get some sushi! Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, nor does it mean that you’ve given the message that what someone did was okay. It just means that you’ve let go of the anger or guilt towards someone, or towards yourself. But that can be easier said than done. If forgiveness was easy, everyone would be doing it.

“Once a women has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.” Marlene Dietrich “Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life.” George MacDonald “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Louis B. Smedes “We are all on a life long journey and the core of its meaning, the terrible demand of its centrality is forgiving and being forgiven.” Martha Kilpatrick

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Katherine Ponder

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” Robert Muller

“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” Bryant H. McGill

“Always forgive your enemies—nothing annoys them so much.” Oscar Wilde

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Robert Quillen

Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge—or embrace forgiveness and move forward. By the Mayo Clinic Staff

“Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.” Anonymous “Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time—just like it does for you and me.” Sara Paddison

“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your parenting skills, your colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance.

December 2015 Amazing Women

46


LIFESTYLE But if you don’t practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. What is forgiveness? Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy, and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life. What are the benefits of forgiving someone? 

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace. Forgiveness can lead to…

Healthier relationships

Greater spiritual and psychological wellbeing

Less anxiety, stress and hostility

Lower blood pressure

Fewer symptoms of depression

Stronger immune system

Improved heart health

Higher self-esteem

Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?

When you’re hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, y9ou might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. What are the effects of holding a grudge? If you’re unforgiving, you might… 

Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience.

Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can enjoy the present.

Become depressed or anxious.

Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you’re at odds with your spiritual beliefs.

Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.

How do I reach a state of forgiveness? Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:  Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time 

Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and wellbeing.

Actively choose to forgive the person who’s offended you, when you’re ready

Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life

As you let go of grudges, you’ll no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding. December 2015 Amazing Women

47


LIFESTYLE 12 Steps to Avoid Disappointment This Holiday Season 1. Identify your main thing. 2. Slow down. 3. Realize perfection is not possible 4. Don’t push your expectations on to others 5. Make room for rest 6. Offer forgiveness quickly. 7. Remember memories are made in the mistakes 8. Realize the meaning is in the giving, not the gift. 9. Admit you can’t change others 10. Know when to stop

11. Stay within your budget 12. Embrace spirituality The holidays can be a most wonderful time of year. The season is often marked with family, tradition, and giving. And no matter our age, it stirs up fond memories and creates new ones. The holidays can indeed bring out the best in all of us.

But despite all the hope and preparation, often times holiday expectations go unmet. Meals don’t turn out right. Kids get crabby. Family members bicker. Gifts are not received as fondly as we expected. And before we know it, shades of disappointment begin to creep in as we realize the season will not measure up to the pictures we had in our minds.

Mary Smith-Moore, Founder and Executive Producer and Host of Christian’s Destined to Reign is the 2014 Talk Show Host of the Year. Three time award winner, Author, Keynote Speaker, Member of the Amazing Transformational Speaking Troop, Alumni of the Platinum Mastermind, Products Faith and Forgiveness Strategies for the Wounded Hearted and Five Fabulous F’s to Take Your Life From Just Surviving to Thriving.

Keep in mind the above steps and you will have a much merrier holiday season. From my heart to yours, may your holidays this season be truly happy. December 2015 Amazing Women

48


December 2015 Amazing Women

49


ENTERTAINMENT

An Interview with Grammy Winning Music Engineer Khaliq Glover

Aka Khaliq-O-Vision , is a Grammy Award Winning Mixing Engineer/Producer whose clients include Prince, Michael Jackson, Justin Timberlake, Angie Stone, Herbie Hancock, Christina Aguilera, Marcus Miller, Jeffrey Osborne, Jamie Fox, Patti LaBelle and many more! Khaliq was one of the original musicians who worked on the “We Are The World” project with Michael Jackson and other noted celebrities. As a result he received a Grammy as one of the participating music engineers. He was also one of the musicians who was asked to work on “This Is IT” movie after the passing of Michael Jackson. Raven: Let’s start out by catching the audience up a little bit about you. Just briefly, how did you get started in the music business Khaliq? Khaliq: Well, it’s truly one of those things where kind of by accident in a way—it only came I guess at age 13-15—finding yourself. My father used to be a drummer but he never really encouraged me to get into music because it’s a rough business. But of course, I had to toy

Around with some of his stuff every now and then and hoped that I wouldn’t get caught but eventually he ended up getting me a guitar and I just toyed with that and started playing it, teaching myself to play. And to make a very long story short, after dealing with many vocal bands back east in Pittsburg where I’m from, I ended up migrating out here to LA and to record the songs that I was writing, I had to figure out some equipment that a publisher saw my talent and gave me some free time to come in and just record whatever I wanted at night but I had to mind the equipment on my own. I just dug in and pulled out manuals and experimented and tried to figure it out on my own. Over the course of maybe a few years, a guy that was a friend of theirs was watching me do that and saw that I was serious and one day he offered me a job. He said “How would you like to have a job working for Kenny Rogers and maybe learn about engineering?” Raven: Wow—how cool is that? Khaliq: I stumbled into it because like I said I was a guitar player. I’m not a technical engineer. I didn’t go to school for it and that wasn’t my first focus. I haven’t even considered it at all but after I got into it, I liked the nuances of being around all these different stars I was working—at that time Kenny Rogers had a studio called Lionshare that had nothing but the greatest people at that particular time. The top artists were all migrating there. I was very lucky . December 2015 Amazing Women

50


ENTERTAINMENT

Raven: My goodness, so this childhood passion and listening to that, I said I have got to make sure that my grandson Christian hears the replay of this because he just informed me that he wants to play the guitar. So, he’s going to be truly inspired by your story.

Raven: We’ve got a lot to cover—so those at home listening can be inspired to be a musician or song writer or singer, they’ll know how they can begin their home business. First of all, let me ask you, how did you feel, when you found out that you were getting a Grammy?

Khaliq: Absolutely!

Khaliq: Are you kidding? I was just—the funny thing about the Grammy, there’s two dramatic sides very diametrically opposed. One side of it

December 2015 Amazing Women

51


ENTERTAINMENT I was just totally floored and ecstatic because when you’re a young person, there are no limits to your dreams and possibilities, so always knew and told myself one day I’ll get a Grammy, but as you go through life, and life just beats you down and beats you back into reality, you have to pay the bills and all, I came to find out over the years that while I was a good guitar player there were billions of great guitar players out here so what me alter my reality is the engineering. That’s a smaller pond. There are thousands of guitar players and not a whole heck of a lot of engineers, really good engineers are a even smaller group. So I did what I could to try to learn how to be able to stay in the room with the greats and learn from them and then in the course of doing that, picking up some of their secrets, I won’t call myself one of the greats but at least I figured—and I was pretty open, I was a sponge to learn some good stuff that makes me able to still work now after all these years.

Studios and facilities so I often get called to work at their place. II was with Jeffrey Osborne when he built his studio at his house and left Lionshare for Jeffrey as he hired me to be his personal engineer and then I worked with him for many years, over a decade and then Herbie Hancock has a great studio. He has a massive facility and purple rate and all that, he has a massive facility in Minneapolis so I go there . Raven: I’m glad to hear you say that because my next question is how difficult is it to create a studio for those listening who may want to get going in their home.

For the complete transcript or to listen to this interview, please visit: http://www.careersfromthekitchentable.com/ CareersFromtheKitchenTableHomebusinessdirectorySecondEdition.pdf

I’m constantly trying to learn new things and constantly trying to stay in business because the industry is always changing so the reality of it is, I want to do what I need to do to get the next Grammy, the past Grammy is done and gone. It’s a trophy on the shelf, the next is what’s important and I don’t have that yet so that’s my goal. Raven: Yes, that’s common. We speak in that in existence for sure. Let me ask you this Khaliq, do you work your music business from home?

Khaliq: Partially. The nature of my business being in the music industry and being an engineer, I work with some good high level clients luckily so they usually have their own home December 2015 Amazing Women

52


ENTERTAINMENT

October2015 2015Amazing AmazingWomen Women 53 December P


ENTERTAINMENT

The Art of Entertaining— Does the Size of Your Audience Really Matter? By Janie Lidey Several years ago, I was invited to do a house concert at my old friend Lauralee Banfield’s home in the Bay Area of California. It would take place in the little town of Mt. View and she thought there would be anywhere from twenty to thirty guests in attendance. I was going to be in the area for a few other events anyway so it was easy for me to put it on my calendar. It would be a great opportunity to reconnect with some special friends from my past, make some new friends, and hopefully raise a few more people’s vibration with the songs and stories from my new album and book, “The Magic of A Song”. On the night before the concert, I got a call from Lauralee saying that things hadn’t exactly turned out the way she planned. There were only going to be six people at the performance and two of them were her own children. She said that considering the circumstances, she would totally understand if I wanted to cancel. In that moment, I realized that it didn’t matter to me if there was going to be one person in attendance or a crowd of one million. If something I was going to share in a story or a song that evening had the potential to raise the vibration in even one person’s life, my purpose as an entertainer on this planet that day would be fulfilled. I showed up for my house concert in Mt. View ready to Rock & Roll. My sister Carol was my chauffeur and helped me carry my little PA system in and get everything set up. I could have

gone acoustic with such a small crowd but I still wanted to share the full scope of the performance I had planned for the bigger audience. To do so, I needed my sound system and computer to play some of my backup tracks on a few of the songs I had recently recorded in Nashville. I had the blessing of working with some of the most amazing session players while recording “The Magic of A Song” and wanted to make this a really special show, regardless of the size of my audience. Lauralee had set up a beautiful area in her home for me to perform in. She was a singer herself and had a little stage area set up in her family room where she and her band would practice together. So Carol and I went to work and set up as though we would have a full room of people. As with most of the house concerts I do, we did a meet and greet over cocktails and hors d’oeuvres and then gathered in the family room for an intimate evening of stories and songs. I could tell that there was a little bit of discomfort on the guests part seeing that I had come all the way from Alaska, had set up such a nice stage area, had CDs and Books for sale… and here we were in a seemingly almost empty room. What happened after sharing my first few stories December 2015 Amazing Women

54


ENTERTAINMENT and songs was AMAZING! One of the guests stood up and with great intensity said, I don’t mean to be rude or anything but can you please stop the concert for a little while? I am going to go out into our neighborhood and invite people over. This is just too dang good for anyone to miss!” You can only imagine how that made me feel! Of course I agreed and we extended the cocktail hour while this kind gentleman attempted to fill the room at my littlest ever house concert. The magical connection that we as entertainers make with our audience is something that can literally change a life in one heartfelt moment. I’ll never forget the lady who came rushing up to talk with me and said that she used to be a painter but hadn’t picked up her brushes in years. After hearing my song, “Leap of Faith” and listening to my story about retiring early from a successful teaching career to become a full time singer-songwriter, artist, author and speaker, she decided she was going to go home, break out her brushes and become an artist again! You just never know what kind of impact you might have on one person’s life.

My little house concert at Lauralee’s turned out to be one of my favorite events of the year. After a few more guests were reeled in from the neighborhood, I took up from where I had left off. (Actually, I repeated the first two songs because no one wanted the new guests to miss out) and we had an amazing, intimate evening filled with stories, songs and a shift in the vibration of each of us in the room, including my own.

message you are sharing. Whether you raise the vibration in the life of one person or the lives of millions, you are making a difference in someone’s life!

The Starfish Story A young man is walking along the ocean and sees a beach on which thousands and thousands of starfish have washed ashore. Further along he sees an old man, walking slowly and stooping often, picking up one starfish after another and tossing each one gently into the ocean. “Why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” He asks. “Because the sun is up and the tide is going out and if I don’t throw them further in they will die.” “But, old man, don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it! You can’t possibly save them all!” The old man listened calmly and then bent down to pick up another starfish and threw it into the sea. “It made a difference to that one.” Learn more about Janie by checking out her story in the front of the magazine.

In the art of entertaining, you never know exactly who you are going to inspire with whatever December 2015 Amazing Women

55


December 2015 Amazing Women

56


AMAZING MEN

I Had the Blues, But I Made it Better By Writing a Song By Dean Olson

blues. Not depression, just the blues, primarily caused by the lack of realizing my dreams. This happens to a lot of people, I know, but I guess I let gloom and doom take over my mindset for a while. It was just as debilitating, and it manifested itself through weight gain, poor sleep, and a dismal attitude. I decided that I had better stop it. So, how did I turn myself around? I wrote songs to snap myself out of it.

This is a letter to my all of my new friends. I'd like to share something about myself. I am a good person, and as your friend, I will always be compelled to do right by you. I will be as honest and transparent as I am able, but I might be holding something back. I have a dark and moody side. I carefully hide it, because I'd rather have a good time with you and not drag you down in negativity, since I also tend to avoid drama. I'm really a glass-half-full person, and as you get to know me, you will probably find my dry sense of humor to be uplifting. And if you happen to be a musician or a songwriter, we might be interested in collaborating with each other, and we'll have fun doing it. But, I have a flaw that has slowed me down and has maybe given my friends the wrong impression. I am painfully shy, and sometimes I say awkward things because I am shy. This part of my psyche has been with me for my entire life, and for a long time, I suffered from a case of the

In 1997, I was sitting in a network marketing seminar. I was frustrated and dejected from years of trying (and failing) to improve my lifestyle and make extra money, so that I could go out and live my real dreams. It seemed to me that, to be a songwriter and producer in my thirties, was a pipe dream, because I should have started when I was junior high. A music career is uncertain, and I didn't want to be an irresponsible dreamer, so I set out to build a separate income that would support my projects. Nice try, but it didn't work the way I had hoped. I think I was tired of the empty selftalk that didn't pay off the way I wanted, and I know that my lovely and supportive wife felt this as well. So, while the seminar speaker's words faded into the background, I started scratching lyrics in my notebook. After thirty-five minutes, I had a complete song written, along with an arrangement in my head. I called it, "My Mind's Made Up," a tune that I now use as the theme for my radio program. It's a song about my personal blues, but the last verse is a hopeful scenario for my future, which I paint as brighter than the present. It helped to transform me into a more positive and creative individual. But it wasn't an overnight transformation. I had to grow into it over several years, with some pain, but the penning of that song for myself was a pivot point that I still reference to this day. Here are some personal things I had to do to create positive change. December 2015 Amazing Women

57


AMAZING MEN LIFESTYLE 1. Look In the Mirror I knew I needed to take responsibility for my past, both good and bad. Most of the emotional damage I incurred, including dreams that I didn't fulfill or things I should have done, was something I had to shed before I could go forward. I had to count my blessings, or at least remind myself of the things for which I am proud. For example, I was raised by two wonderful parents. I achieved the rank of Eagle Scout. I am still married to my first love, and we raised two great children. I never smoked, drank too much, or took drugs. I have faith in God, and He has given me so much.

place for making money with my music. Just be honest and true. At the very least, I can be satisfied in creating great work, even if it is just for my own enjoyment.

3. Ask God For Help

2. Remember Who I Am I am artistic and musical. Part of the reason that my wife loves me is because of that. I have always had the spirit of an artist, which I have expressed as a cartoonist, but also as a creative audio composer. That is the term I used to describe my love of recording stuff and turning sound effects, comedy and music into an auditory experience. Today, I am a songwriter, radio host and producer. I am very good at these endeavors, but I keep wondering, how do I make a living and raise a family by being an artist? The answer is: Be my BEST artist. My art doesn't necessarily have to make a profit, but there is a

In my case, I had talks with God. And not in a desperate pleading way, like those times I was in a jam and suddenly asked for His help, as a last ditch attempt to be rescued. I learned to talk with God on a daily basis, much in the way that we text one another on our phones to share our thoughts. I started to ask for strength to stop feeling sorry for myself. I shared my frustration, my sadness, and my disappointment. It helped, especially when I learned to be silent and listen for his response. That's the tricky part, and it took some time. In the Bible, King David did this, and a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders, so I decided to try his way. And that brings to mind that there are truths in that good book that will help in driving away the blues, so spend some time in the Word. December 2015 Amazing Women

58


AMAZING MEN 4. Make Supportive Friends The more I drowned in the blues, the farther I sunk into my shell. I didn't ignore my wife or my job, but I was so occupied with my selfish emotional baggage, that I became even more shy and withdrawn. It was around that time that I got to know two co-workers who shared common interests, and they were willing to create music with me. This was a definite antidote for the blues! My story continued with ups and downs, but today, I look for good friends with common interests to keep fueling my dreams. But, importantly, I have done my part to support them, even if it's just a kind word on social media. You can never have too many good friends. 5. Don't Stop Believing Since turning myself around, life has been easy, except when it hasn't been. Things happened to me, and I had to deal with challenges and the consequences of bad decisions. I took my eyes off my faith, and remembered the disappointment and sadness. But, I eventually had to realize that believing in one's self is like the care and feeding of a delicate plant. You can't forget about it, or it will wither. So, from now on, I remind myself of my previous steps, as a way to keep the blues away.

"My Mind's Made Up" (words & music by Dean Olson) My mind’s made up! I’m gonna follow all my dreams I’ve had enough Of these annoying and distracting schemes I’ll choose my friends Because apparently they’re choosing me The time is now To pay attention to my destiny It was my habit to be lazy. My dreams were kind of hazy I watched so much TV, that I drove my wife crazy It’s a shame! It’s been a drain on my brain! I just want my freedom, baby I just want to win this game! My mind’s made up! My place of work has got me beat I’d quit right now But my family has got to eat Don’t get me wrong I like the things I do to earn my pay The only thing Is that I wish it wasn’t every day December 2015 Amazing Women

59


AMAZING MEN Because my job is like a prison. My boss, he doesn’t listen We often tend to fight, and then I gotta say he’s right It’s no fair! Ah, but he don’t care I say, I just want my freedom I don’t have to be a millionaire... So there! Because my paycheck’s a joke. It always leaves me broke I’m stressed, I shake and cough a lot, and I don’t even smoke I got the blues! But I know it’s self-abuse I really gotta have my freedom But first I gotta pay my dues My mind’s made up! I finally got my butt in gear My bills are paid Because I made a hundred grand this year I quit my job Now I’m the boss of my own art I’m feelin’ cool Because I bought myself a brand new start And now, I changed my old habits. I’m moving like a rabbit The world is waiting for me. Gonna reach out and grab it I’M STRONG! -Why did I wait so long? I had the blues, but I made it better, baby -And that's why I wrote this song (And now you can sing along) MY MIND’S MADE UP!! (I don’t have to be a millionaire. I just want to be free.) © 1997 MonaMe Music / BMI - All Rights Reserved

My radio show is about encouraging artists who make music. I hope I can help make the blues better for you. If we aren't friends yet, come see me! My Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/ StrongWriter and you can listen to episodes of my program "StrongWriter On the Radio" at http:// strongwriter.com/ Dean Olson is an independent songwriter, radio host and producer based in Orange County, California. His weekly program "StrongWriter On the Radio" airs on the Amazing Women Of Power Radio Network. Dean gains knowledge, insight and inspiration from his featured guests and passes it along to the listener. His interviews range from indie musicians, record producers and engineers, to established composers and songwriters including Richard M. Sherman, Charles Fox, Shelly Peiken and Bunny

December 2015 Amazing Women

60


December 2015 Amazing Women

61


AMAZING MEN

Create Automated Wealth For 2016 By Joe Louis Burroughs

ideas and pick one small market to target for your business. A small market online, however, can mean big dollars for you because it might contain thousands or millions of prospects around the world. The Internet connects you to the outside world and doesn't limit you to those who drive or walk past your local store location. Automate Your Business

Attaining wealth and prosperity is a dream most everyone has, but few ever achieve it. Why? The average person is stuck in a rut with a job they dislike and overwhelming debt. This cycle is hard to break, but many people are breaking out and achieving their financial goals through the Internet. The Internet has made it possible for millions of people to create automatic wealth, and there's still room for you! Here's how you can discover your Internet wealth dreams. Create Passive Cash flow, Not Just an Income With the Internet, the opportunity is there for you to create automatic wealth, not merely an income. You can build one automatic business or several until they reach prosperity - right from your own home computer. The Internet creates the ultimate wealth package because it's so vast in the number of people that use it, but yet, so personal in that one little niche market can earn you a fortune. You can choose from thousands of business

Another reason it's more feasible to achieve automatic wealth online is because you can have an automated business. Automated means it can run on auto-pilot once you design your website and set things in motion. You can receive automated payments through online forms. You can automate an e-zine (email newsletter) to your customers. You can automate electronic products by email such as e-books or training materials. There are a number of ways to create automated wealth with an Internet business. Get A Paycheck Per Day Keeps Poverty Away Another advantage of an Internet business is you can receive daily payments through your website. Many online business owners accept credit cards or use a third party payment processor such as PayPal or Square to accept payments from their customers. Through these venues, money goes directly into your account. This gives you a steady cash flow for your business so you can have capital for your income, business promotion, and inventory. Tips to Build Automatic Wealth 

Use your free time at home to surf the Internet and find business opportunities that interest you.



Join with one or a few others who are already successful so you can learn the basics of December 2015 Amazing Women

62


AMAZING MEN online business. Even if you need to make a small investment, it could be well worth the training you'll receive. 

Decide on a business that's right for you and schedule daily times to work on your business - promoting, analyzing, and building.



Keep building until you've acquired enough automatic wealth to quit your day job!

Whatever Internet business you choose, remember that it takes patience and consistency to build an online business, just as it would any other type of business. The main differences are that you can work from your home as you're building the business, you can set your own work schedule, and you can earn a lot just by reaching a small niche market for almost any popular product. Start in 2015 with your new online business, and you too can soon realize your dreams!

Are you living your life to fullest? Are you having phenomenal success in every area of your life? Are you truly Free? NO! Joe is a 20+ year veteran who not only served on the battle fields of the Middle East but now fights battles for American Small Businesses fighting to hold onto to Freedom and the American Dream. He will give you strategies and tips to creating the independence your family wants needs and deserves while building the quality of life you can be proud of. Joe will present vibrant content, case studies and interviews of some of the most influential minds of our time proving that success leaves clues. It will surely inspire and motivate you to massive action. WinBig!!. Your Audio Powered Infomercial: If You Can Talk Into a Phone You Can Be Selling Your Own High Priced Audio Program in as Little As 7 Days Virtually Guaranteed....For more information mail me for a special link at Joe at suport.investinyoutalk247.com or call 800.774.4946 December 2015 Amazing Women

63


HOLIDAY RECIPES

Gram Helen’s Christmas Braid - Swedish Bread Christmas has always been a wonderful time for our family. As the youngest of five, I was so lucky to have siblings that kept the magic of Christmas, Santa Claus and flying reindeer alive and well through my youth. Christmas Eve was filled with excitement in our neighborhood as Santa Claus came to our home and delivered a special “pre” Christmas gift directly to all of us. After a turn on Santa’s lap, we dashed off to bed with anticipation, knowing Christmas morning would be filled with special family time and, oh yes, Gram Helen’s Christmas Braid.

Iced box cookies, applesauce cake, and fresh biscuits were some of my favorites, but our families Christmas braid wins first prize in our home every time. The smell of cardamom and cinnamon in the air and the giggling that would ensue as I would sneak a peak at the bulging bowl of rising dough brings me back to my childhood and fills my heart with warm memories. Christmas morning was the only time we had this wonderful bread, which, I am sure, added to it being so special and tasting so delicious!

Fast forward 40 years, I have carried on the Christmas Braid tradition for my family and close friends. I know Gram Helen is with me when I make the dough on Christmas Eve and I see the enjoyment in my children’s eyes that I am sure Gram saw in mine when I was a young girl. My daughter loves to bake along side me and I know it will be a tradition she carries with her for years to come.

I am thrilled to share this family recipe and I hope you enjoy it is as much as our family has during the holidays. Have a magical holiday season! Gram Helen always came to spend the holidays with us. She was the quintessential grandmother, sweet and loving and spent loads of time in the kitchen baking us all special treats. I used to spend a lot of time in the kitchen with Gram watching and learning how to bake. It was apparent from the start that measuring, mixing, kneading and decorating were all to be done with a keen eye and bare hands. “It tastes better that way”, Gram would say. And that makes me smile thinking back to my mom following us around the kitchen wiping down the refrigerator handles and drawer pulls that were smeared with fresh butter and dusted with flour.

Gram Helen’s Christmas Braid (Swedish Bread Recipe) Bread Ingredients: 1 Cup of milk ¼ Cup of water 6 Tablespoons of butter 1 Teaspoon of salt 1-1/2 packages of yeast

¾ Cup of sugar 4 Cups of flour 1 heaping Teaspoon of cardamom 1 egg December 2015 Amazing Women

64


HOLIDAY RECIPES Topping:

Barclay’s Fit Cake Cookies

203 Tablespoons melted butter 1-2 Teaspoons cinnamon & ¼ Cup sugar combined

Cream together: 1 cup sugar

Heat milk, water, & butter to 120 – 130 degrees

1/2 cup of soft butter

Blend: sugar, salt, cardamom, yeast and 2 cups of the flour. Add to heated liquid. Beat all with a mixer. Add egg and remaining 2 cups of flour and then stir by hand. Let rise until double the size. After dough has risen, put on board and knead (you will need to sprinkle heavily with additional flour to avoid sticking). Divide dough into two equal parts. Then divide each into three parts to make two braids. Place braids side by side in 9X13 casserole dish or metal baking pan. Brush with melted butter and sprinkle with cinnamon/sugar mixture. Let rise again to double the size. Bake: 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes until light golden color. Remove from oven and serve warm or room temperature.

Add 4 eggs lightly beaten

Courtesy Carol Casas

Add 3 Tbls milk In a separate bowl mix: 3 cups self-rising flour 1 tsp cinnamon 1 tsp nutmeg 1 tsp cloves Place 3/4 box of golden raisins

1 pound candied fruit (mixed) 1 quart chopped Pecans 1 cup 100% Bourbon Let set overnight Next Day: Mix fruit and with sugar and butter until completely mixed Slowly blend in dry mixture until completely mixed Preheat oven to 250 degrees Drop teaspoon size mixture onto cookie sheet an inch apart. Bake 15 minutes Yields about 12 dozen This family recipe has been used for over 40 years! Courtesy: Barclay Fisher

December 2015 Amazing Women

65


December 2015 Amazing Women

66


December 2015 Amazing Women

67


Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.