SEPTEMBER 2015 Brought to you by the mind of Alyssa Wigant
THE THIRD ISSUE Everything in this digest is original work by Alyssa Wigant, except the pictures of Alyssa, in this issue, were taken by Brandon O’Rourke. Alyssa is a college student who has a lot on her mind. She stays up late sometimes to write, hand-letter, take pictures of herself, and much more; all as a means to get feelings off of her chest. She is an artist who is facing many doubts and fears (as many do), and she is tired of being stuck. She wants a change of pace and heart, and whether you read this or not, she’s headed in that direction. Disclaimer: She uses curse words for emphasis.
September 2015 (c) Alyssa Wigant alyssarevolution.tumblr.com alyssawigant.com
A BRIEF INTRODUCTION Welcome to What I Got So Far, also known as WIG. This acronym was intentional considering my last name is Wigant, and this digest acts as a platform to share my notes on what I got so far. This is yet another one of my ongoing projects made to inspire you, but mostly to make sense of my thoughts and experiences. You can expect writing, art, photography, videos, late night thoughts, and whatever else I create within the specified month; all made for the sake of cracking the code of life and its struggles. This is about me, but take away from it what you want. My name is Alyssa Wigant and I’m tired of this rut.
I’M TRYING TO TRUST MYSELF IN BELIEVING THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY...
...BECAUSE THERE’S NO USE IN DWELLING ON NEGATIVITY FOR THE TIME BEING. I’M LEARNING TO TRUST IN THE UNKNOWN AS OPPOSED TO BEING AFRAID OF IT.
THIS MONTH I WAS THANKFUL FOR: Traveling The Open Road Mindfulness Communication Feelings Photography Trust Vulnerability Acro Yoga Meditation Nature
CROSSROADS Inspired by “The Crossroads of Should and Must” by Elle Luna There are always dual energies within me: I feel so motivated, excited and passionate, yet another part of me incessantly doubts myself. Lately I’ve been trying to foster the positive energy and focus on manifesting and making my dreams become real. Setting goals is good, and even if I can’t achieve them, they’re a good starting point for growth or change. I think it’s really important to be self-aware and know how I feel because it represents how I’m reacting to the world, and how I’m letting the world shape me vs how I let it shape me. I’m hoping that, by focusing solely on the passion I have for life and my future, the doubts will stop doubting and instead start believing. I have worth, potential, and skill. I deserve the things I’m dreaming about.
HARD WORK Working hard is my release–it’s the way I cope with things. When I feel like I lose control, what best combats it and makes me feel like I’ve gained control is by working myself (hard). Homework, learning, creating, are routines and ways for me to stay focused and in tune with myself. When people tell me that I work so hard and am sometimes take life too seriously, it’s really just because that’s the only way I know how to feel like I’m headed in the right direction. Progress is progress, and working hard is going to get me there. I have distinct visions of where I’m going to be, so I work actively to create the path to get from point A to point B. It’s who I am.
JOBS CAN (AND SHOULD) BE FUN. I have a simple yet very broad goal for my life: enjoy doing something that makes me happy and that helps me grow. I want to be the best person I can be, and I want to take on a job that represents that. I have so many interests, but the underlying theme of those interests are that I enjoy doing them. My mom, who started working at a Silicon Valley job in the ‘80s, tells me that working for something based on how fun it is for me is naive and that I shouldn’t disregard corporate companies that work designers to the bone and strip them of their creative genius–because at least it’s a job! My take on this is that, not only have times changed, but the creative industry is currently booming because companies are starting to cherish design and designers (which brings a tear to my eye). Today, visual designers are expected to change their jobs every 3-5 years. I’m not saying I don’t want to be tied down to a company–if it’s the right company then I wouldn’t mind working there for 10+ years–but I want to be able to enjoy working and making personal and professional progress. Sometimes another job will help me grow, in which case, I would like that new experience. I’m thinking about all of this as I’m applying for a huge pool of postgraduation jobs. I’m staying at school for an extra quarter, so this coming summer is crucial for me. I spent this summer researching companies that interest me that I want to pursue (based on the first paragraph qualifications), and now that I finished my website re-design, I’m ready to start applying. I know I would be a great employee wherever I go, but I want to work in a place I know I deserve and deserves me. I work really hard to put myself out there, therefore I’m not settling for a job that won’t foster my creative, hardworking, and collaborative spirit. I’m so so motivated for the future.
FOLLOW YOUR HEART, FOLLOW YOUR PASSION. I THINK THAT’S THE SECRET TO LIFE.
2:38 AM: Holy shit. I’m so inspired right now. It always amazes me to see what people my age are accomplishing with their creative passions. I feel like I have specific types of inspirations that stem from different emotions. Sometimes my inspiration is fueled by jealousy, in which case I feel like I need to catch up to that person’s accomplishments. This thinking is toxic, I know, but I can’t help but to feel like I’m far behind. However, sometimes my inspiration is fueled by the purest form of amazement–when I can only feel happy and inspired by this person. I can tell that this person really loves what they do and are making a lifestyle out of it.
I want that. I want to be able to make a life out of what I love. I’m on the right track, I think.
THIS IS YOUR LIFE. DON’T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. YOU CAN FUCK AROUND BUT DO EVERYTHING WITH INTENTION. DO THAT THING YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. THE HARDEST PART IS GETTING STARTED, SO JUST DO IT. DON’T LET ANYTHING STOP YOU FROM FOLLOWING YOUR PASSIONS. LET WHAT YOU LOVE GUIDE YOU. YOUR PATH WILL FOLLOW.
11:42 PM: Today it hit me that I have to accept that my life is going to be different and harder than the average person because of how much my psoriasis takes control of me. I thought I had taken back my life because of my new medication and how good it made my skin look, but the smallest things make my skin flare up, therefore I have to over analyze what I’m doing differently and what I’m doing wrong in order to fix it. There’s too much going on for me, physically and emotionally, and it gets to a point where I give up. This is one of those moments.
9/5/15: Embarking on a two-week journey up highway one tomorrow. Excited to be off the grid and completely mindful with B. I’m kinda scared though, because it’s a lot of time to spend with someone; but I’m hopeful.
MINDFULNESS As I go through the pictures from my Pacific Northwest road trip with Brandon, I am overwhelmed with excitement and memories, but I noticed I wasn’t this excited or “wanderlusting” during the trip. I talked with Brandon about this and he made a good point that it’s really hard to be mindful when you’re doing something really different than what you’re used to. It’s hard to be mindful when you’re too busy being attentive to where you’re going, where you’ve been, where you’re going to stay that night. This phenomenon is really interesting to me, but it makes sense. I noticed that vacations are mostly exciting because of that unpredictability, but also equally terrifying. I’m going to try to embrace the scariness next time. The trip taught me a lot about not only road-tripping, but also finding the beauty around me. Nature is taken for granted so much, yet it is the most beautiful and timeless feature on this planet. After watching breathtakingly golden Oregon sunsets, waking up to foggy, rainy mornings in Washington, and feeling piercing California winds from the tops of hills, I think I’ve seen enough to feel fuller than I was before the trip. There is so much to see in this world–so much. Traveling is something I want to keep doing in my life, especially in times of creative ruts and doubt. I needed this trip, and I’m hooked for new adventures.
SEPTEMBER 2015 PLAYLIST
I either discovered these songs this month or really vibed with them. Hope you like them too
Weekend - Smith Westerns
The Heat - Jungle
Brighter Than Gold - The Cat Empire
Busy Earnin’ - Jungle
Beyond Clueless - Summer Camp
Drops - Jungle
Hey, Doreen - Lucius
Say Sumthin - Zak Abel
Never Catch Me (ft. Kendrick Lemar) - Flying Lotus
Duals - Bonobo
Mean Streets - Tennis Eighth Avenue - Hospitality Next of Kin - Alvvays Warrior - Bonus Track - Kimbra The Willhelm Screen - James Blake Waiting Too Long - Hippie Sabotage Should Have Known Better - Sujvan Stevens Friends - Raury, Tom Morello Raindrops - SNBRN, Kerli California - SNBRN, Kaleena Zanders Get Away - Yuck Rebirth - Yuck
You’re On - Madeon, Kyan Gibraltar - Beirut Cool Blue - The Japanese House Cranekiss - Tamaryn
listen
o!
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THANK YOU FOR READING! A new issue of WIG will publish on the first of every month.
August 2015| Issue 3