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Hey You,
FOUNDER AND
As we pave the way to Summer, we want to
ALL THINGS IN BETWEEN ANGELA WESLEY
remember to enjoy the light in our daily lives. There will times when things aren't
EXPERT CONTRIBUTORS
so smooth or easy and it becomes easy to
NECIA BOSTON SHEKINA FARR MOORE
focus on the darkness but you have to redirect your focus to the shine in your life.
FEATURED
This cover features, Lisa Renee Johnson,
LISA RENEE JOHNSON KIM TOTH
known as the Chief Sunshineologist of I Got
LATOYA BENSON
Sunshine™ a community for women. She
CANDICE CAMILLE ROWENA LIST
represents someone who spreads the
TINA C. HINES
brighter side of life to the women she encounters. I hope this issue and our Spring Features does the same for you. Remember to close your eyes, relax and let
APRIL 2016 Connected Woman Magazine is an online blog style magazine that serves the female population in life and
everything that tarnishes your outlook go.
business. We want to feature women who connect with
Find your Happy, your light, and your
Women who connect with each other whether it's
shine. That may mean letting some things,
other women with their stories-past and present. parenting advice or business tips. Every woman has to know she is in some way connected to many women
dreams and people go. It may mean trying
regardless of career, income or age. There is something
some things you are afraid of or things you
are connected.
have been putting off. It may show up in the form of a new pair of shoes or a new haircut. Wherever your light is stores, remember to refresh and replenish yourself and share your light with others. Thank you to all who participated with this issue. Only I would be crazy enough to put together an issue in a 45-day window and
in our experience that connects us all. We are you and we
SHARE YOUR JOURNEY. CONNECT WITH HERS.
FOR ADVERTISING, CONTRIBUTOR AND ALL OTHER INQUIRIES INFO@ALEGNAMEDIASUITE.COM PUBLISHED BY ALEGNA MEDIA WWW.ALEGNAMEDIASUITE.COM
All feature photos provided by and owned by features.
only you would be kind enough to help me make it happen.
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Angela
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TABLE OF CONTENTS APRIL 2016 PAGE 40 ARTICLE FROM BREAKING TO HOMECOMING
PAGE 6 ................ THE ULTIMATE TO-DO "LIST" An Interview with Rowena List PAGE 18 ................ STILL SHINING
PAGE 22 SPRING Q & A
Cover Interview with Lisa Renee Johnson PAGE 26................ ALL IS WELL An Interview with Candice Camille
PAGE 14 TOP 5 DIY BEAUTY BLUNDERS
PAGE 30................ ON THEIR OWN An Interview with Kim Kirmmse Toth PAGE 34............... STAYING THE COURSE An Interview with Latoya Benson
PAGE 46
HOW WE CAN ADVOCATE FOR OUR GIRLS with SHEKINA FARR MOORE
PAGE 10 WHEN SORRY DOESN’T VISIT
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INTERVIEW
THE ULTIMATE TO-DO "LIST" Rowena List is getting things done. And her passion is helping others to do the same. Everything in its place becomes your mantra indeed when Rowena adds her touch and arranges everything to help create an environment where you can thrive. Known as the “the de-clutter queen”, Rowena takes 25+ years in sales and her own noted ability to sort through the mess in order to invite order into your life and business. Based in Canada, she is the Founder of Getting It Together. Let's meet her.
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How did you come to start Getting It Together?
There is this "myth" that the messier the desk,
I started off in the direct selling profession what
the more work that is getting done but honestly
I was 19. I quickly moved up to senior
what is it really indicative of? Your mess is your
management and had a team. While training this
message. You may know where everything is
team I realized that the missing component for
however it is probably causing a lot of clutter and
most was being organized. I started going in to
stress in your mind. Not to mention the dust that
my consultant’s homes and helping them get
is collecting in those piles. It is a myth for a
their office and closets organized and it quickly
reason. Some will say that they can find what
turned into a business. I could see the need and
they're looking for in all the piles and cannot find
I filled it. That was almost 15 years ago.
what they're looking for if their desk is neat and tidy. I help people set up systems based on their
Have you always been organized and detailed oriented? Yes, I have always been organized and detail oriented. As a teenager I use to organize my room and set up systems. Then I would invite my mom in for a visit even though she was only just downstairs. I do truly believe that people can learn the art of getting organized.
personality style. What is a misconception about the importance organization in your life/workplace? As long as I am happy it doesn’t matter what my place looks like or I can get this cleaned up in no time flat. People do not realize how their clutter is affecting them until they start to de-clutter.
What is your most popular service with women
Families have been pulled apart because of it.
35-55? Home organization, cloths closets and
Health has suffered because of it. Finances have
home office organizing are the most popular
been destroyed because of it.
services. On top of that many of my clients enjoy the benefit of also being coached/consulted by me. Can you share one way with our readers our stress levels and clutter are related? If you can't find what you're looking for in 20 seconds or less you are considered disorganized. If you are running late for a business meeting and can't find your car keys or the important documents your stress level will automatically rise along with your blood pressure. Generally speaking,
"People do not realize how their clutter is affecting them until they start to de-clutter." Anything to add? It didn’t get disorganized overnight so it will not get organized overnight. Getting organized and clearing out your clutter takes time. Everything has an emotional attachment to it. A story. A memory. It is dealing with those things on top of tossing and donating.
the more stressed you are also means you are over booked, busy and rushed which in turn means you don't have the time to stay organized. You are based in Canada but do you travel for speaking engagements? Yes, I do travel for speaking engagements. I love to do so. Who would like to book me next and to where?
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GETTING TO KNOW ROWENA Tell us about your home life, family. I am recently single after a 20-year relationship. I helped raise four stepchildren and contributed to the lives of five step grandchildren. I was raised by a single mom who could make a penny stretch. I am the youngest of two. I have an amazing nephew whom I love to spend time with. I was born in England and my family immigrated to Canada when I was two years old. I live in a clutter free condo with an amazing view. And spare time to enjoy the things I like most because of not being held down by stuff. My work is my mission and passion. I feel so grateful for that. Any hobbies? I enjoy skiing, golf, writing, bike riding, travel, hiking, cooking and hanging out with friends and family. Rowena was quite literally ‘born to organize’. Dubbed by her clients and friends alike as “the de-clutter queen”, she believes that being organized in all areas of life can help us to reach our goals, mitigate stress and be the best versions of ourselves. Whatever that means for each of us. For more information, please visit www.gettingittogether.ca
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TREAT YOUR GIRLS. visit the eSHOP www.alegnamediasuite.com
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ARTICLE FROM THE FOUNDERS DESK
WHEN SORRY DOESN’T VISIT Many women carry around their inability to forgive like a new clutch. We relive and replay a past hurt over and over in our heads and attach what if’s and why not’s to it, which only makes it heavier. Whether its family, friends or that ex who wounded your spirit, we all could use a lesson in letting go and moving on without the burden of waiting for an apology that will never come. Have you ever remembered something someone
fact that there will be people who will not always
did to you and it could have been well over 20
treat you right and some of those people will
years ago and you run into them
NEVER see the error
and while they know you were
in their ways. Now
not on good terms they can’t
some will, but that
remember why? But you do. And
does not mean the
you feel some type of way
first- or last- thing on
because they forgot it so easily.
their bucket list will
Or that ex-husband who belittled
be stomping to your
you, or fought you tooth and nail
front
for custody out of spite because
“OOPS, Did I do that?”
you found out about their affair.
Some people don’t even
And he never said sorry. You
realize how deep that
stand and pose for wedding
knife
photos at the weddings of the
Sometimes they are
children you share and he never
just
once-even
newfound
behaviors cast down
goodness and restoration and “I
on them in the past.
found Jesus” years-never once
And
just called and said “I’m sorry.”
excuse, it’s just facts.
And you think you need it.
But sometimes it’s not
in
his
could do someone like they did you and sleep at night. Honey, they are sleeping just fine. And you should be too. How you ask? By accepting the
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to
cut
you.
repeating
that’s
say,
not
the
an
that deep. They see
Everything in you is saying, “I deserve that apology!” You wonder how they
door
you living, laughing and doing you and figure it was just a small bump for you too. And take note that there will be some people who just simple won’t care. They will see things the way they want to see them and
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sometimes that sugarcoats things for them. It
Look in the mirror and tell yourself “I’m sorry”
wasn’t that bad was it?
for holding on to something you should have let
The miscarriage you had when he pushed you down the stairs is minimized because well, “he lost a child too.” The friend who lied on you, stole from you, or kicked you to the curb for some new friends in college is out there living and doing it
go of long ago. It’s your journey to take and your choice to make. Stop looking out the window and waiting anxiously for that doorbell announcing the
sorry
you
will
never
hear.
Choose
Forgiveness. Get out there, be free and live.
up and how dare they do that while you are still simmering over here. HOW DARE THEY RIGHT?
“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got.”
Who do you need to forgive? Share, discuss and comment on the blog!
– Robert Brault No, how dare you. How dare you let their bullshit weigh you down. How dare you not love yourself enough to say, “I’m ok and I know what happened and I am over it.” How dare you to let your JOY depend on someone else’s actions and disobedience to what YOU think they should do? Sometimes your JOY is hidden in FORGIVENESS. Stop worrying about what they took from you, or did to you and focus on what you can GIVE to them. Give them their forgiveness papers. Let them walk. Pray for them. Pray for healing for yourself and then be ready to walk away. From the hurt, the pain, the venom, the anger, from what happened, from what didn’t happen and from the apology you will never receive. And then run into living a fulfilled life free from “back then”. You have to live now. While dragging all that behind you, you aren’t truly living. Its living with conditions. Forgive yourself for wasting so much precious time on it.
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TREAT YOURSELF. visit the eSHOP www.alegnamediasuite.com
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BEAUTY Have you ever done your own makeup
only to end up looking like you were
auditioning for the circus? Or worse you didn't realize it until you saw the photos from the event you attended. Every woman doesn't have the luxury of bringing in a professional makeup artist every morning to start her day. Women juggle home, kids and their careers or businesses and learn quickly how to do their own makeup (or go without) in order to get through the day. And sometimes we run into some mishaps. CWM spoke with Professional Makeup Artist Necia Boston about the beauty mishaps that top the list. 5. Wearing a Foundation “Mask”- Wearing the wrong color foundation and not blending it correctly can lead to the dreaded foundation line on the jaw. This can be avoided by finding the correct foundation shade.
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Choose three to four shades and test their color on the cheek (not the arm/hand/neck), look at the shade in the natural light outside if you are having a hard time deciding. The next step is to make sure you blend the foundation down the neck somewhat since our face/neck/chest are often different colors. Blending down with a sponge will give a graduated, seamless edge, and more natural coloring.
4. Clumpy Mascara - A clumpy “spider leg” lash disaster can happen in the blink of an eye. To keep this from happening wipe excess mascara off on the side of the container opening and wiggle the applicator through the lashes from base to tip. You can also apply your first coat and comb through the lashes with an eyelash comb, let the lashes dry, and then apply a second coat and comb one final time. 1. Trying to Carbon Copy While watching YouTube videos and makeup tutorials are very beneficial to learning new techniques, it is important to remember that Great Skin Care Products - Not enough time to do your makeup? Great skin is a must!
we are all unique and because of this it is imperative to make our makeup work with our features.
Great Mascara – One that lengthens and adds volume will create
Be sure to watch makeup being done on someone that looks like you or has similar
Two Go-To Lip Colors - One neutral/every day and one for fun. Either a gloss or Lipstick.
features. It is okay to take bits and pieces from a tutorial and incorporate into your own routine.
3. Lip Liner - Often ladies choose a shade too dark for the lipstick or gloss color they will be wearing. This can be resolved by choosing a shade that is close to the shade of lip-color to be worn. You can also avoid this by lining and filling in the entire lip with the lip liner, then applying the lip-color of choice. 2. Overdrawn Brows - While sculpted brows are in, ladies should stick as close to their natural shape as possible. Stay away from using powders or pencils that are darker than their natural hair color. Typically, black should not be used. Start with brow powder and an angle brush for a more natural look.
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Necia Boston is a Licensed Esthetician, Professional MUA, and owner of BAABS Boutique & Beauty Bar in Greenville, NC. For more information on her, services and product line visit www.baabsbeauty.com.
Share your story. Connect with hers.
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COVER INTERVIEW
STILL SHINING Lisa Renee Johnson
is a coach, speaker, wife (married 28 yrs. to her high school
sweetheart) and mom. She is the founder of I Got Sunshine™, a community for women searching for clarity and their own shine within. She also mentors aspiring authors as the CEO of Brown Girl Press. While recent events may have tried to "derail" her joy and dull her shine, Lisa is shining even brighter. Let's bask in her light.
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Tell our readers about your I Got Sunshine™ community, including its goals and mission. I am the Chief Sunshineologist of I Got Sunshine™, a global community dedicated to the simple mission of supporting women on their journey to becoming the expert in their happy and embracing their sunshine. I coined the term Sunshineologist because I wanted a word that described the feeling and knowing that you are living your hopes, dreams, your why. I created this community to help women reconnect with their IGS acronym for Internal Guide System to shed their excuses, live life out loud and to define success and happiness on their own terms. In the same theme of your community, what does success look like to you? Success for me means to live the journey on my terms. So many of us are stuck in shame, fear, and judgment of our life experiences. Our negative mind chatter is rampant and we are chasing what success looks like as defined by others. It’s time to shed how others define what makes us light up and take back our shine. Give some insight on your childhood and how certain catalysts, highs and lows from 0-18 add up to shape you as the woman you are today. Just as success leaves clues, I also believe our childhood does too. Growing up, I didn't know I wanted to be a writer, but I fell in love with the written word at a very young age. For me books provided the opportunity to dream and experience new places. Every time I cracked open a spine, I found treasure in the stories. The characters’ problem solved, overcame obstacles and in most instances lived happily ever after. I grew up believing that I was the driving force for me to do, be, and have anything my heart desired. I graduated from high school knowing what my fairytale life would look like. I was on my way to college, future plans for marriage, kids, but my vision was interrupted when a blue plus sign showed up in the window of a little white stick. I was 18, pregnant and terrified. This experience changed the trajectory of my life and has had tremendous impact on the woman I am today. And looking back, I wouldn’t change one single thing about my life. My experiences make me who I am. When you strip it all down to basics, what 5 words would you say describe who LISA is at her core? Authentic, Creative, Curious, Infectious, Leader If you could name your autobiography what would it be called today. Happily, Ever After: Living the Fairytale My Way What is one of your favorite books and why? Intriguing plots and interesting characters keep me glued to the pages. I’m extremely social, but books are my friends, which probably explains why I have such a difficult time getting rid of them. I love how they smell, how they feel. Books make me happy. The thought of picking one as a favorite is difficult (I’m cringing over here), but one that comes to mind is The Truth About Me and Bobby V by Janetta Johns (1984). This was the first time I remember reading a story as a teenager where the lead character in the book was a little brown girl who looked like me. I read and re-read that book numerous times in complete awe that I was seeing the world through her eyes. I actually still have a copy of this book in my library.
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When Lisa is not spreading
∣What are three things you can
Sunshine, her light focuses on
never leave home without?
her family, including three sons
"Cellphone, my glasses, and iPad
and a granddaughter.
(for reading and writing)" You mention in your
Where is your favorite place to
bio, being destined to
read? I read absolutely anywhere,
help others. Does this
in fact there is always a book, in
derive from a time
some format in my purse. But my
where may have felt
favorite place has to be snuggled
that you didn't have
up in my bed reading for hours
the support, help or
and totally oblivious to what’s
resources you needed
going on around me. Books
or from watching
transport me to another place.
others not have
Tell us about Brown Girl Press.
anyone to reach out
What type of writers fit your
to? More time than
writer demographic? When I
not, teen parents
decided to respond to the whisper
receive shame instead
and write my first novel, the
of support and for
entrepreneur in me was fascinated
many years, I used that
by the many details involved in
shame to create a
publishing a book. So when the
mental prison that
manuscript was complete I made
wouldn’t allow me to
the decision to create my own publishing
forgive myself for becoming pregnant at 18. I
company, Brown Girl Press and self-publish my
knew better. My response was to prove to the
book. It was so rewarding to hold my first
world that I was enough. Bachelor’s degree,
galley copy in my hands, fan the pages and
Master’s degree, real estate, foreign cars, yet
know that I created the book I was holding. My
nothing removed the hole in my belly that was
first inclination was I have to help other writers
supposed to make me enough. I knew in my
feel the success of becoming published too.
heart of hearts that something was wrong. It
Brown Girl Press doesn’t publish other writers. We support aspiring writers through the process of outlining, writing the book, and creating a marketing plan. I always say to my clients that writing a great book is half the work. Once you have the launch party with family and friends, it's crucial to have an executable marketing plan to get the books into the hands of your ideal reader.
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took my 4-year-old son asking me what my favorite color was and me not having a clue to wake me up. I had amassed all the things society said would make me successful, yet I couldn’t articulate what the hell my favorite color was. When I began my own journey of rediscovering “the real me” resources and support were limited or non-existent. And nobody should have to walk their journey alone.
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If money were no issue-you have just been
experience of my life. It left me angry and sad
given 1 million in seed money- what issue in
with an overwhelming sense of helplessness.
the community today would you target that
But my helplessness was quickly replaced with
you feel misses the target? I would create a
a sense of urgency to use my voice to be
movement to empower, build confidence,
empowered and to empower others. I believe it
leadership and self-esteem for young girls and
is my responsibility to shed light on what
boys, so they can embrace the “shine” that they
happened to us with dignity and grace if only to
were born with.
prevent anyone else from enduring this horrific
Without giving away any of your prime expertise, what would you tell a woman who feels like all her shine is gone and everyday has just become a blur of DULL for her at
type of treatment again. Laughter is good for the soul and I’m committed to laughing as much as I can while here on this earth. No regrets. #laughingwhileblack
home and at work? What is the first step she
∣How does Lisa unwind
can take in reclaiming her spotlight? I would
from it all? "Connecting with
tell her to Get Naked! Release the pressures and
nature at the beach, on a hike
expectations of others and get in touch with who she really is. Give herself permission to
or spending quiet time with
make mistakes, forgive herself, live in her truth
me and God. These things
and be unapologetic about it.
ground me."
∣Pick one: A Day shopping - a Day at the Spa - A Day Alone in a Cabin Reading? "A Day at the Spa – self-care is a priority." Many have seen the headlines concerning the Napa Wine Train. Can you tell us as a womana black woman-how that day made you feel? My Napa Valley Wine Train experience is the single most demoralizing and humiliating
Do you think diversity training should be necessary in all workplaces dealing with the public? You can never fully train anyone on someone else’s culture but training is a start. As a society we have to be cognizant of our own biases and how we treat people who don’t look like us. It’s about having the courage to acknowledge our own stuff and stretch and grow and behave differently.
To close, why is it important that women speak up for themselves and live in their truth and not be defined by others? Because if you don’t create the yardstick for what success looks like to you, then you will find yourself on the hamster wheel of life chasing shit that has no value to you and in the end doesn’t really matter anyway. For more information on Lisa and her endeavors please visit her online at www.lisareneejohnson.com.
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ď‚žFROM OUR READERS We asked and you answered. From fashion to downtime we wanted to know your favorite go-to spots! Your favorite I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR go-to? Nordstrom!
I would head straight to NY & Company. That is my favorite go-to place for casual, business or fancy outfits! I love it, and they are always fashionable, and reasonable. -
- Tina, New Jersey
Julie, IL
H&M! I love the variety that the store
Name your top 2 beauty products.
offers. There is a little bit of something for everyone there! Plus,
Maybelline Waterproof Mascara and Motives Lip-gloss
they are up to date with all
Tina -New Jersey
the latest styles and fashions and completely affordable! - Emily, Pennsylvania Since I'm on a strict time limit, I would go to White House Black Market! Everything I walk in there I'm immediately find what I need. Plus, whatever the highlight color is for the week is sure to give me the
My top 2, are Vaseline lip intensive lip gloss and the Mary Kay Tinted Foundation to cover my red skin. Both hydrate and moisturize! - Julie, Illinois Mary Kay Bronze 500 matte liquid foundation and C.O. Bigelow Menta Lip Shine! I wear the lip shine all day, every day... even in my sleep. - Maleeka, Alabama Mary Kay Facial Cleanser & Illegal Length Mascara - Emily, Pennsylvania
wardrobe "pop" I need. - Maleeka, Alabama
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What is your favorite MOMMY time activity? Drive one town over and camp out at a hotel for the weekend. Peace & Quiet. - Tina, New Jersey My favorite mommy time activity is sitting on the nice fluffy leather chair at Starbucks reading one of my favorite books (alone, allllll alone!). When looking to chill out with my kids, we have a library date, visit the coffee shop and grab a few snacks and head to the park. - Julie, Illinois
Whew! An hour massage, followed by a full manicure and pedicure... *thoughts flow away* I cannot live without a monthly massage.
If your life right now we're a color what would it be and why?
-Maleeka, Alabama My favorite thing to do when I just need to relax or get lost in something other than the chaos of the day is to sing worship music and write something. There is just something about the release of creative power that uplifts me and restores my soul.
Turquoise- This color infuses a sense of peace and tranquility whenever I see it. Tina -New Jersey I would be red. It is bold,
- Emily, Pennsylvania
energetic, intentional and does not fade. - Julie, Illinois
My life is always showing up in white. Every day is a blank slate and I have the Thank you to readers Tina Hines, Emily Hesse, Maleeka Hollaway and Julie Holloway for participating! Subscribe to our newsletter for other call to reader alerts!
opportunity to add color to it! Plus, white is the ultimate chic color. Try being a mommy and keeping white clean! :) I pull that off very well actually. -Maleeka, Alabama
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INTERVIEW
ALL IS WELL. Change and Balance. These are two words you will hear often when talking to former
or
current
clients
of
Wellologist™ Candice Camille. Her
energy and exhilaration towards making your life better shows in her work. As the owner and operator of Pure Nuphoria Bed &
Breakfast Wellness
Center,
Candice is also a licensed respiratory therapist and a pulmonary functions technologist and offers several programs to not only benefit but help mold a new state of being that will improve your overall wellness and life. Think you are not ready for change? Candice Camille can change your mind.
Visit Pure Nuphoria Bed & Breakfast Wellness Center online at purebedandbreakfast.com.
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How did you start your own journey to
responses that we wish we had. Instead of
wellness? I was a young upward bound student
feeling angry with yourself for responding to
in Newark, NJ Public Schools in the gifted and
life the way you normally do, think positively
talented program. Heading towards a career in
about your desire to have a healthier mindset.
Aerodynamics, I was gifted in Math and
What I tell my clients is that in order to start
Science; I wanted to be an Astronaut. Like most
Aligning themselves with the desire for
of us life took some unexpected turns. I
wellness there are 4 things that they must do: 1.
endured child abuse, molestation,
Eat Well, 2. Move well, 3. Sleep Well 4. and Sleep
homelessness, single parenthood and domestic
well. This is the formula for living well.
abuse. Instead of flying high above, I was weaving and dodging real life below. I survived my struggles and thankfully landed firmly on my feet. I believe the set-backs in my life was a set up that made me stronger to deal with the biggest come back of my life, which was overcoming Cancer. YES, I kicked Cancers behind!! While I was listening to my medical doctor advice I was also studying holistic alternative ways to heal my body. I learned the only way to make your body stronger is through good nutrition and movement. Physical Fitness has become my life line, my center and my calm.
Tell us about Pure Nuphoria Bed & Breakfast Wellness Center where you offer many programs to help people get focused. Can you give us a little detail about three in particular Wellness Make-over, Corporate Boot Camp and the Girlfriends Gutts and Butts Boot Camp? I didn’t envision myself in the Bed & Breakfast Business but I did envision a Wellness Center. I was preparing to open up a Wellness Center, when the Bed & Breakfast opportunity presented itself. I thought it sounded like a good idea especially since it would be a place where women could gather and I would be able to teach them about Wellness and how
You recently wrote on your blog about how
important it is. The Wellness Makeover
Mindset plays an important role in an
Program is not about just exercise and dieting,
individual's wellness. You mention eating
it’s about changing the mindset, behaviors and
habits and rest which I am sure many women
attitudes. As a part of our wellness make-over
struggle with. Can you reiterate here small
program, clients are required to complete a
things women can do to start to align with
series of questionnaires that are focused on
their desire for wellness. You can transform
nutrition and lifestyle in addition to keeping a
yourself by making you a priority in your life.
4-week food journal. This information is then
When you change your mindset to making you a
used to help tailor a plan that is specifically
priority that’s the point is when your life will
designed for them. The primary focus of our
change. Changing your mind is the most
approach is to help clients increase their energy
effective way to change your life. You have
levels, overcome cravings, and alter behaviors
control over whom and what you are. You
that derail the quest to becoming well.
create your life and your world. “You Get to Decide.” We sit back, look at their lives, and wish we could view things in a more positive manner. Then we beat ourselves up for being negative or not having the attitude and
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The Corporate Boot Camp is designed specifically for corporate clients. This off-site Destination program expands on our resident boot camp program, with a special focus on
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altering behaviors within the workplace, that
lives. We tend to put everyone else above
contribute to the undermining of wellness. We
ourselves but I try to tell them that if they don’t
help our clients to understand that wellness is a
take care of themselves first, they won’t be
relationship between mind, body and spirit. A
around to take care of everyone else. At the end
concerted effort is made to invoke an
of the day if you are out of order, your whole
atmosphere of calm, caring, trust and support.
life is out of order. Until we make the shift we
We understand that the road to wellness is not
will remain that hamster on the hamster wheel.
always easy, but in order to be the best you, it is necessary. The benefit of this program is to reduce your stress level, increase energy, productivity and focus. We help you make the connection through our informational, spiritual, emotional and physical results-driven approach
Would your programs also benefit someone struggling with an illness such as cancer who perhaps is having issues with nutrition or energy or would you be able to develop something for them-in alignment with their Physician care plan of course-that would help them improve not only their
to being
mindset but their balance
well. The
during their treatment?
bottom
Absolutely, what I know for
line is that
sure is that in order for the
you will
body to properly maintain itself
see A
and stay optimized for day to
significant
day living, it’s important to
change in
have both a healthy body and
health
mind. You can achieve glorious
care costs
health by engaging in a meal
long term and an increase in productivity. The Girlfriends Gutts & Butts Boot Camp is a fun way to get with you and your girlfriends exclusively. During this 6-week class you increase your energy levels, achieve a game plan based upon your desire level of commitment, have a wellness plan you can live with, and sculpt your Gutt & Butt. This class is just SMART= Specific – Measurable – Achievable - Realistic and Timely.
plan that’s nutritionally sound even when the body is broken, along with a positive mental attitude! Having the right Wellologist is an essential part of your physical well-being. Everyone has different needs but we will motivate and push you to your limit while encouraging you to keep going, even when it gets very challenging. The primary focus is to ensure that you succeed. Getting well is not about exercise and dieting. It’s about changing the mindset, behaviors and attitudes.
What have you found to be the biggest struggle
It’s about thinking and being well. You get to
for women you encounter that distracts from
decide. Most
their wellness journey? The biggest struggle I have encountered is lack of Self-Love Commitment and, we are not the priority in our
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people don’t really understand how being well really works – it’s not something we were taught in school. It’s a learned behavior that we have to release in order to get better. At this point you have to tap into your power source, this is where you have to believe that you are going to live and we help you get there. We put off and delay and make excuses (next year, this year, as soon as the kids do this) but tell our readers why your wellness is important NOW! OHHH, the infamous EXCUSE BAG!!!! Why not NOW? There is never going to be a good time, all you need is today. As life goes on we are dying younger and younger, if we don’t make ourselves the priority and start paying attention. The USA has the highest rate of Obesity not to mention Child Obesity, we have become an Unhealthy Nation. The portion sizes are getting bigger and we are getting bigger right along with them. We are allowing ourselves to be SUPERSIZED! We are confusing Diet with Nutrition, we are eating so much processed foods we are becoming the Drive-Through Society, dare I say the Easy Button!! But there is no easy button and there is no Magic Pill. At the end of the day you have to make a Decision, Commit to it and Do the Work. We know right but we don’t do right. We think we have time and meanwhile we are dying of illnesses that are preventable like Hypertension, Diabetes, Heart Disease, Cancer, and High Cholesterol. Being the new 60 and a cancer conqueror I know all too well what works. You need to Eat Well, Move Well, Breathe Well, and Sleep Well and then you will live, it’s just that simple. You have to change your CAN I, which means Complacent and Not Improving to an I CAN, which means you have to Initiate it, Commit to it, Activate it, and it’s Necessary. Being well is no longer a luxury it’s a necessity. I’m drawing a line in the sand and declaring out loud that Wellness starts here and it starts now. The Plank Talk Challenge was created to takes the top 3 excuses off the table which are time, money and hair. I am not asking for 60 minutes, not even 30 minutes, I’m asking you for 1 minute to change the trajectory of your well-being. We all know that the first line of Wealth is your Health, GOT A MINUTE!! You can find more information on Candice at candicecamille.com.
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INTERVIEW
ON THEIR OWN Kim Kirmmse Toth, LCSW, CMC, PCC is a small business coach who specializes in working
What are the usual catalysts for your ideal clients when they are seeking your services? A. they want out of their job/job and want to work for themselves B. they want the additional income C. they want to give back. What is your greatest joy from coaching others to their goals? I love seeing women doing the work they want to be
with women after 50
doing, to see them
who are looking to
shine, to earn money
excel in their coaching
doing what they love and
business or embark on
sharing their gifts with
a new career as a
others. The feeling of
coach and expand
independence and
their imprint on the
earning money is very
world. With over 20
important at any age but
years’ experience, Kim
as older women,
helps to create a
we/they have earned it!!
roadmap to success to
I absolutely adore and
guide clients to their
admire the women I
ideal business and
work with.
lives.
In general, how do you handle someone who is
Why women over 50? I
not coachable? What
myself am 64 now. I
groundwork does
believe it's very important
someone need to do to
as older women that
determine if they are
we are able to be
ready to put in the work? I have only had to
independent and self-sufficient when it comes
‘fire’ one client ever, because she wasn’t
to our financial futures. As baby boomers we
coachable. She never followed through on
have a great deal to offer and want to share our
anything and was a whiner. I don’t work with
wisdom. Why not monetize it? As I always say
whiners! I always talk at least one time to every
‘men are not a retirement plan’. I am divorced
woman who joins our community in the Moxie
and a recent widow. And there are a lot of
Mentorship Program. I work with women who
women like me out there, on their own, needing
are
to be financially safe now and in the future.
creative, high energy, optimistic, community minded and willing to put in the work it takes to start and run your own business. And they are smart. Every single one of them.
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What is the most instrumental lesson learned
Anything to add? Over the last couple of years,
over the 20 years in your own career that you
I have really simplified my business. I offer my
carry into each new coach/client relationship?
Moxie Mentorship Program to all. It is
As a ‘recovered’ therapist it comes down to the
comprised of 4 tiers so available to almost
fact that people want to grow, want to be the
anyone. There are 4 different investment levels,
best they can be, want to be happy and
the higher the level the more private time they
productive. They want to give back and do good
have with me. It’s a wonderful community of
work.
women!! www.moxiementorshipprogram.com
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INTERVIEW
STAYING THE COURSE. Latoya Benson is a woman who found her own empowerment in her journey and now transforms women all over the country. Whether it's her book, business or her magazine, she aims to help clear the fog and replace it with a clearer vision and focus. She has triumphed through while maintaining and holding steadfast to her faith. It hasn't always been easy but she's here to stay. Who is Latoya now? Who was she at 23? Latoya now is bold, brave, confident, fearless, and she knows exactly who she is, what she wants and what she is called to do. She is not afraid to be the authentic and blaze her own trail. Latoya at 23 …wow, she was young, inexperienced, and unsure. She had an idea of who she was but not enough to own it and walk in it. She was ambitious but lacked the “roar” necessary to take the world by storm! What advice would you give to your 16year-old self?
Embrace your difference
because there is power in your difference. Love who you are, know your worth and value and don’t let ANYONE treat you less than you deserve.
"My favorite color is purple!" Name a time when you feel-now looking back- was the lowest point in your journey to now. What was going on in your life and how did you overcome it? My journey has not been easy but in terms of my lowest point I would have to say was the battle within myself. During my early twenties when I was just in a self-destructive mode. I was angry at myself for not doing better and pushing myself to achieve greater. I was frustrated, I made bad decisions and just wasn’t honoring myself that I should have. DOING IT SOLO
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As someone who has encountered the hurdle of Divorce, what were your initial fears when you realized your marriage was ending? My initial fears were regarding the emotional state of my children and how the divorce would affect them in the future. I wasn’t fearful about how I would make it or provide for myself and my children but I was honestly very fearful of what people would say, mainly the church. I was a preacher of the Gospel and wondered how others would react to me being a “divorced preacher.” Did the experience bruise you in terms of how you felt about love and marriage from that point on? I wouldn’t say bruised. It definitely changed my perspective and caused me to be cautious and more aware of new relationships in my life. I am a hopeless romantic. I am a fan of love and I want to be married again because I believe in marriage. What did you learn from the experience? I learned first and foremost to listen to God when entering into a relationship. Oftentimes we ignore his guidance because we want what we want. I also learned a great deal about myself. I learned my breaking points so to speak. I learned that I am responsible for my own happiness not my spouse. Being a wife is one of the greatest responsibilities and it requires you to be selfless and truly operate in the fruit of the spirit. Marriage is for sure a ministry and it should be treated as such. Did you have a support system/sister circle around you at the time as a comfort resource? Yes. My family was very supportive as well as my church family. I also have amazing friends who supported me during the entire process one of which had already experienced divorced so she knew exactly what I was feeling.
AT HOME: " I am a mom of 2…9-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter. I love family and I have a big family. WRITE AND LEARN What demographic of women would enjoy your book, “The New You Revolution: A 40 Day Journey to Discovering and Becoming the New You?” Based on feedback, what would you say are the top three things that have caused these women to lose themselves and seeking "newness" in their lifestyle? The New You Revolution is for all women of all races. Women from 18-60 more specifically but also even beyond the age bracket. It’s for the everyday woman, the single woman, the married woman, the divorced woman and the career woman. Wow, the top three things I would say is: 1) Losing their Identity in their roles 2) A traumatic experience/life transition such as divorce or loss of a job 3) The need to truly discover purpose. Your background/education started in Systems/Computer Science. Did you feel like something was missing when you were on that career path or did you find yourself participating more and more in things outside of work in regards to empowering others?
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I received my degree from the School of Engineering at Howard University. By the time I began taking the courses that were directly related to my major I knew that wasn’t what I wanted to do. But once you endure the rigorous courses that I did…you don’t change your major. :) So, I made a decision to allow my degree to work for me indirectly and while doing so I began to empower and operate in my gifts outside of that career path. With Inner Visions Consulting, you provide help with branding and vision for professionals. Can you tell me your experience with that arena in your businesses prior to this and explain to our readers how important it is to have branding and vision alignment in their endeavors. Yes, Inner Visions Consulting Services is my business and I am actually in the process of rebranding so I’m super excited about that. While empowering others by way of women’s conferences, women’s newsletters and ultimately an online magazine…I was using my branding knowledge that I didn’t know I had. People would ask me who did my branding and graphics and I would say, me. I soon discovered that I had a gift and began to study the craft. If you are a business owner or entrepreneur having clarity of vision is crucial to not just your success but the direction you go and the decisions that you make. If your vision is not clear you will continue reinventing the wheel and staying in a cycle called stuck and your goal should be to move forward and make progress. Branding really deals with you understanding who your company is and what your services are. What are you promising? Building a brand is more than just the visual elements that we are all familiar with such as a logo, flyer, or website. Branding is about an experience. If you don’t know your who, what, and why and you aren’t able to articulate it in a message then your success at building a great brand is in question.
"I love to dance and laugh and I love getting together with family and friends." While every accomplishment may not receive recognition or applause, what do you consider your biggest triumph in your business? Staying the course. Yes. Entrepreneurship is not for quitters or the faint at heart. Many people start on the journey and quit before they see the results they were seeking. I entered into entrepreneurship by faith and continue to walk the journey by faith. It’s not easy but it is so rewarding! How has your faith guided you along the way? My faith is everything. It’s not every day that you hear of someone leaving their good job at the White House to pursue purpose. Well, that was me. And it was totally a faith move and an act of obedience. I don’t make a move without consulting God. Daily I go to him for direction and strategy and it has been my faith that has allowed me to be successful thus far. As long as my faith stays in-tact, I’m good!
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"I wouldn’t change anything. I believe that everything
Visit her website to purchase these products today!
happens for a reason and it all has played a part in the woman I am today." Tell us about any upcoming endeavors, events, books you have coming up? I am rebranding my branding business as my vision has evolved. I also have an initiative currently going on for women in business called Rock Your Authenticity that includes women in business teleconferences, networking event and a main event in September. I am working on two books one of which will be released in the coming
The New You Revolution: A 40 Day Journey to Discovering and Becoming the New You is a 40 day comprehensive guide to empowering women to embark on a journey to wholeness. It is an empowerment declaration for women to embrace their newness and rediscover and become exactly who they were created to be. Even if you are the new you this book can help you maintain, preserve, and flourish. The New You Revolution is for the single woman, married woman, divorced woman, career woman…it is for the everyday woman!
year. What makes you a connected woman? I am connected to God, connected to myself and connected to that which is bigger than myself; a community of women that are doing amazing things. Latoya Benson is a forward thinking pioneer for every facet of the modern day woman. Latoya’s style of empowerment is untraditional yet refreshing. She has helped women around the country transform their lives by switching gears from Neutral to Drive. For more information, visit latoyabenson.com.
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Maintaining the New You: 12 Power Tips to Maintaining Your Transformation(the workbook) is all about equipping women with a maintenance plan to keep them focused on the journey ahead. Think of it as a handy referral guide that includes 12 power tips to empower, encourage, and remind women of the power they have as a transformed woman. The truth is that the journey to transformation is a continual process that includes different levels. However the initial process to transformation requires self-evaluation, willingness, and surrender. But maintaining the new you is a testing of your faith, endurance, stamina and your ability to remain in a posture of authority. Let’s do the work to maintain our transformation and continue to thrive, flourish, and arise!
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ARTICLE FACES OF DEPRESSION
FROM BREAKING TO HOMECOMING.
WITH TINA C. HINES
I don’t usually look back because I love living in the present moment and living from
that
place
of
abundance,
but
recollecting my moments with depression takes me to this special place of humility and grace. Therefore, I don’t mind tracing scars and sharing my stories if it will help another woman.
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I used to wear the Superwoman cape so many other women have worn. Giving endlessly became the fuel of my life – I was always offering, sacrificing, and submitting myself. I thought it was everything I needed to stay alive. That was until I gave too much of my time, energy, basically myself as was sent into a whirlwind of mental pain.
Journey Back to Myself There are times when we embark on a journey, unsure of the destination or the length of time it will take to get there. All we can hope is that along the way lessons are learned, clarity is received, and that it is as painless as possible. I traveled
on
a
journey
of
self-discovery.
Personally, I do not feel it was a journey I chose
In early 2010 I returned home after being away
to travel but one that was chosen for me. It was
for over a month caring for my ailing mother.
time for Tina to heal.
Honestly, I felt like I had been away for an entire year. As the wheels of my plane hit the tarmac,
Failing miserably at hiding my depression, a
there was a jolt that brought me back to reality.
close friend recognized a difference in my
I looked out of the window and sighed. That
demeanor. She suggested I take a trip to nurture
silent sigh was my way of saying that I had
myself. Later, I would call this trip my journey of
returned to what was comfortable to me.
self-discovery. I took my friend’s advice and
However, I felt very different, even though my
booked a trip to Anguilla, BWI and spent days
sense of normalcy was in sight.
reconnecting
At the time, I didn’t understand why I felt different. I just knew Tina did not feel like Tina. My buoyant disposition had diminished. I was depleted and no longer felt that I had the strength to be everything to everybody. As I entered my home and walked down the hall to my room, I climbed in my bed and spent far more time than I should have tucked under the covers. I was exhausted, and I was deeply depressed. I realized that as I was caring for my mother I forgot to take care of me.
Perhaps, as I gave away bits, chunks, and pieces of me to others, I forgot to keep the most essential parts of my being.
with
Tina.
peace
and
tranquility of the island was the perfect backdrop to quiet the voices of others, and become totally consumed with myself and my needs. Each morning, I would sit in a chair on my balcony overlooking the water as I wrote in my journal. Writing was my way of releasing the words from my brain in order to create space for information to flow in and receive clarity. The primary question I was seeking clarity for was simply, “What should I do?” The answer would be revealed during my time on the island. Anguilla has beautiful beaches with pristine turquoise water and white sand. Being near the water provided me with a sense of peace. So after my daily journal writing, I would visit a different beach and rest there for hours listening to the sounds of the ocean.
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It was during one of those moments on the beach
surrendered myself. I did the exterior means of
when I gave myself permission to grieve for the
healing out of desperation – taking prescribed
piece of Tina that no longer existed. I walked into
pills with the intention of feeling better. The
the ocean and, with my head looking towards the
anti-depressants seemed to work for a very
blue sky, I asked God, “What do you want me to
short time, but later on, the deep sadness and
do?” Following the question, I immersed myself
the disarming rut resurfaced to cripple me. It
in the water and then slowly emerged. As I
was only through slowly healing from within
walked back to my towel that lay on the sand, a
that I was able to listen to my own voice again. I
feeling of relief came over me. Almost like all of
did not only immerse out of the murky times
my worries of the past were released in the
lighter, but I also felt closer to that sense of
water.
homecoming – very closer to my gifts of vision, empathy, and service to others. These gifts have
When I returned to New Jersey, I had a new
been passed on to me by my grandmothers and
outlook on life. I began to meditate daily; I
they are passages I share with others in the
started to discover my purpose in life and began
fulfillment of my life – this life of magic,
putting the necessary steps in place to follow my
becoming, and being.
purpose. My journey felt long but it was worth every step. I am not same version of myself before the depression. However, the woman I now see in the mirror is healthier because she is connected to her need for self-care and selflove.
To my sister reading this article, it is my hope that my story gives you the hope and inspiration to heal the woman within. You are not alone. I am
always
hearing
when
you
need
an
understanding ear to listen to you. Just know that although you may not like the feeling of
My first bout with depression stopped my whole world. It made me wake up to the healing that I needed.
depression, perhaps it is part of your journey of self-discovery. For when you are quiet you are able to hear what has often been muted by all that is taking place in your life.
The healing did not happen until I fully
Tina C. Hines is a Life Transformation Specialist who empowers women to fulfill their dreams of happiness. Through speaking and her Caribbean retreats, Tina inspires women to heal old wounds in order to unveil their self-love. She is a member of Black Life Coaches, the Advisory Committee for the Middlesex County Vocational and Technical Schools. Tina holds a degree in Business Administration from the University of Phoenix and a certification in mental health first aid. She is also certified as a life coach, empowerment coach and transformational coach from the International Instruction of Coaching Studies. To learn more about Tina visit www.tinachines.com.
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ď‚žď‚ž GIRLS TOO!
HOW YOU CAN ADVOCATE FOR OUR GIRLS.
WITH SHEKINA FARR MOORE
Times have changed. And so have the things our young girls encounter. While many issues remain the same, our girls often find themselves not having any resources
when
they
need
someone
besides a "celebrity" to look up to or who they feel comfortable talking to. They will have enough to deal with as adults and sometimes all it takes is one woman to come into their lives whether as a teacher, counselor or mentor to change the course of their lives. CWM recently spoke with Connected Woman Shekina Farr Moore, a woman who has blazed her own path in helping girls navigate this thing called life and make it by any means necessary. Want to know how you can get involved and make a difference?
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How can women get active in their own communities in order to uplift girls? We often think of the grandiose in terms of connecting with girls in our communities, but getting active starts with the small, seemingly insignificant things. These include, but are not limited to: showing up, dressing up, modeling healthy esteem through our own relationships and being leaders in our respective industries. At a macro level, we can bring awareness of pressing issues facing women (think income inequality, workplace gender disparities, domestic violence, etc.) as well as provide exposure to opportunities that lie beyond the status quo for girls. What are some ways to find local
organizations
and
volunteer? Volunteerism is an important element for all women seeking to uplift girls. It not only enriches your life through personal growth, it opens doors of opportunity, enables you to learn new skills, expands your network and increases your reach and influence. (Did I mention it can be used on your resume as experience?) I encourage women looking for ways to volunteer to: 
Explore volunteer opportunities in your zip code using platforms such as volunteermatch.org or Idealist.org.

Ask around. There is usually only one to two degrees of separation between you and what you are looking for.

Seek volunteer opportunities that align with your passion, core values or even a cause that combats something that rubs you the wrong way!
From your career in education to today, has the problems facing our girls -in your opinion-stayed the same or escalated due to changing times? Can you tell us what some of the major issues are? I
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began serving youth in 1997. Amazingly, some challenges remain constant—low self-esteem, lower expectations to lead than for boys, higher expectations to work hard than for boys, a heavy focus on looks, etc. However, the degree of some of these challenges has elevated over the years.
I have never before seen such an epidemic of low self-worth as I have in the last six years or so. The explosion of social media, celebrity culture and reality television has had a noticeable, negative impact on our youth, landing its heaviest blow to girls. The constant comparing, questioning, measuring up, sizing up and keeping up landscape is taking a toll on girls and women.
Traditionally, young women and girls have been left out of leadership roles. We all know leadership is a primary arbiter of power. In order for more girls to aspire to leadership, we must expose them to leadership, train them to be leaders and expect them to become leaders. But this requires self-esteem and a sense of competence. Narrow narratives of women contribute to the wide gaps in leadership and the challenges facing young women and girls today.
What resources should Moms look to when they see their daughter going wayward or in an environment where they are at a greater risk? Parenting is a challenging job. If your daughter begins to show signs of trouble or if she is at-risk, I encourage Moms to do four things:
Explore resources with your child’s school counselor. As a mom, your past experiences with a school counselor may be vastly different than what your daughter will have. 21st century counselors: 1.
Respond to student needs in crisis situations;
2.
Orient students to new school settings;
3.
Counsel students individually and in group settings;
4.
Work with absentees, potential dropouts and other at-risk students;
5.
Refer students to special programs and/or services when necessary;
6.
And much more
Counseling services are amazing, but you don’t have to stop there.
Get your daughter involved in activities that can enhance her gifts or bring them out. One of the things my own mother emphasized with me growing up was involvement. “Idle time is the devil’s workshop”, she said often. I didn’t know how tough I was until I tried out for
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basketball as a high school sophomore. I had never dribbled a ball before. The next year I was captain. Because of her mantra, I was involved in lots of other activities (Journalism, JROTC, Drama, etc.) that put me in position to develop my leadership skills and to earn a scholarship to attend college—all from exposure.
Foster a healthy relationship with your daughter but don’t be her friend. Being a mother is a challenging job but you are graced for it. Resist the urge to be her buddy. This time of her life is critical and when tough decisions have to be made, you don’t want ‘Friend’ to override ‘Mom’.
Connect your daughter with a mentor. There is power in being in environments that breed success. Many colleges offer big sister mentoring programs. Look out for those in your area. No such thing where you live? Consider starting one. B2F Girls! Worldwide offers a Girls Empowerment Certification & Launch Program for Women who empower girls at www.b2fgirls.org. Be the change you seek and accept nothing less than the best for your daughter. She will thank you later. Trust me.
What message do you want all young girls to carry with them daily that can help guide them through hurdles they may encounter? I want all girls and young women to know that you not only deserve to be at the table, you deserve to order the finest; that you don’t have to be perfect, just be brave. Chase your dreams, encourage your sisters along the way and let no one dim your light. Pegged a Girls Advocate and a Woman Ambassador, Shekina Moore, E.Ds., believes developing healthy esteem in girls is the key to tapping into their leadership capacity. Shekina empowers audiences with her5 Principles for F.I.E.R.C.E. Success. Answering that call on her journey to liberate women and girls, Shekina launched her Fierce Girl Empowerment Movement, to inspire females to show up in their own lives that they may ignite those watching and taking notes. For complete details on her, information about her endeavors and more info visit www.shekinamoore.com.
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ONLINE FEATURES
CEO OF MY SOUL.
BY NICOLE COBER
There is much that goes into the successes-or failures of a business and life. Everything is definitely not all peaches and cream and while many upsells you on the benefits and sugarcoats being "next level", there can and most likely will be hiccups. In her new book, CEO OF MY SOUL, Entrepreneur Nicole Cober, Esq. details her journey and lessons through it all and how she still came out on top. Visit connectedwomanmag.com for more on this dynamic author and upcoming book.
WHO IS SHE? Visit the website and check out recent WIS posts featuring Quandra Adams, Shari Yantes, Belinda Enoma and Elizabeth Dialto.
COACHES WHO ROCK! Visit the website and check out recent featured coach Dr. Marilyn E. Porter.
UP NEXT: CWM has several features planned next including a “heart to heart” with Natasha Pennant, The Health Conscious Diva. Stay Tuned!
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ON THE BLOG: Guide to Choosing Dining Room Sets
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FIND US ONLINE. Get connected.
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