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Issue 1 February 2010
RIVIERA REVOLUTION HAVING A NICE TIME OF IT
2010 HOROSCOPES WHICH FLOWERS SUIT YOU?
A NEW LEASE OF LIFE STARTING WORK AGAIN
OVER 50S WANT MORE
Fully aware that people are just ‘not old’ these days, we have built our reputation on modern life option planning and helping people build happy and successful futures.
Considering retirement but still way off being there?
Thinking about a second career but unsure what you would like to do?
Want to give something back or considering whether you could start your own business?
http://issuu.com/encoreliving to find out more
CONTENTS 16 COVER STORIES
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A NEW LEASE OF LIFE Starting work again
16
RIVIERA REVOLUTION Edith Cocker travels to Nice
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2010 FLOWER HOROSCOPES What the year has in store
18 FEATURES
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THE GESTURE Part 1 of a heartfelt story by Lilly Hughes
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A MATCH MADE ON EARTH Dating in the real world
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25
CONTENTS
14
REGULARS 5
EDITOR’S NOTE
8
BOOKS
10
PERSONAL FINANCES
14
TECHNOLOGY
22
FOOD & DRINK
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THE FINAL WORD
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22
editor
age unlimited
So you’re an explorer, a kind of surfer of life’s byways who is always ready to enquire into the complexities of life in all its infinite variety. Your mind is open to new experiences, and to the minds of other people. You are not alone, you never have been, but where are the others? Where are the like-minded soul-mates you need to commune with?
Editor:
Douglas Watt-Dugdale
Feature Writers:
Edith Cocker Lilly Hughes Nancy Jaeger “Spooks”
Well here we are! Instantly available and ready to rock. Exploring new ground, shunning old stereotypes and challenging you to challenge us. ageunlimited encourages you to live the way you believe in. It is a way to help spread ideas and inspiration. We welcome you to share experiences, ambitions, hopes, ideas and ideals with other open minds. Let’s see where we can go, without forgetting where we’ve been…
Creative Assistant:
Angela George
EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS: Andy Drinkwater, Liz Faye, Janet Harrison, Joe Holdsworth,
I hope you enjoy our first issue and we welcome any comments so that we can give you what you want. Visit us at http://issuu.com/ageunlimited and leave
your feedback. Many thanks for joining us.
Douglas Watt-Dugdale Editor
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The Really Positive Company Limited cannot accept responsibility for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts and photographs. While every care is taken, The Really Positive Company Limited take no responsibility for omissions or errors. We reserve the right to publish and edit any letters. All rights reserved.
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A NEW LEASE OF LIFE In 2010, Jean Hudson gave up her well paid and comfortable job and started her own consultancy business. Encore Living’s Janet Harrison tells us how
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ean is now 60 years old. She remembers her grandmother at this age – “definitely a lovely old lady and always wearing a ‘pinnie’!” she recalls.
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couldn’t even contemplate the thought of many years of simply ‘doing nothing’, despite having a good pension and support from her husband.
The generation gap has certainly brought some enormous changes – which is fantastic news! Jean has just given up her last job as a Health Sector Director for one of the largest construction companies in the UK..........to start her own consultancy business. Neither the challenge of becoming an entrepreneur or her age has phased her – in fact the latter did not even feature in the consideration.
This story is thankfully becoming more common. Whilst phrases like ‘50 is the new 30’ might sound glib and rather meaningless, they are serving to change the mindset of people that there are no expectations you must retire and do nothing at a certain age. When Jean’s grandmother was born in 1900, she probably expected to be old at even 45 or 50! When society has these sorts of pre-conceived ideas, it is surprising how many just accept it.
For Jean, retirement was simply not an option. She is healthy, fit, positive and ‘young’ and has an enormous amount of experience in her chosen field. And even better news for those of you thinking she did not have employment options at 60, she spent the last year of her job fighting off head hunting firms who wanted a skilled and experienced Health Director on their board.
So how did Encore Living help? To be honest, this wasn’t a difficult job! Jean already had bags of ambition and had decided she wanted to do something else with her life. As with most of our clients, we explore their strengths, skills and passions and use this information to help them achieve success and happiness – whether that is starting a business, volunteering, further education or employment.
Even the thought of slowing down doesn’t really enthuse Jean. She obviously has a strong work ethic, but the overriding factor was that she
Everyone has a talent for something and combining this with something you feel passionately about is the key to finding the right path.
http://issuu.com/encoreliving to find out more
Fully aware that people are just ‘not old’ these days, we have built our reputation on modern life option planning and helping people build happy and successful futures. FOR INDIVIDUALS:
FOR BUSINESS:
Innovative life option planning and consultancy
Innovative and pro-active life option planning and consultancy with groups or individuals
Free signposting and advice on everything from image consultancy to long term care
Succession planning
One to one retirement coaching and mentoring
One to one executive retirement coaching
Access to experts for help with Further Education/ Enterprise and Social Enterprise/Volunteering/Lifestyle/ Employment
Motivational talks and conference speeches on over 50’s issues and opportunities
For more information contact: When you are starting something completely new at 50, 60 or 70, you need to make sure it is going to work AND that you will be happy doing it!
Janet Harrison 07793 749362
Jean is really in her element. Being her own boss means that as well as using her skills and expertise in her particular field, she also has time to factor in being with her grown up children and grandchildren, who are spread across the UK. She also now has time to keep fit, indulge in her passion for wine by scheduling a holiday to Bordeaux and spend a little more time in her Cotswold house – something she hasn’t done much of in the last 10 years! Has she got it all? “It pretty much feels like it!” says Jean.
Jean Hudson Norton Partnership 07787 417684 jean@norton-partnership.co.uk
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books
Here are our 4 selections to suit all tastes to ensure a month of great reading.
NEW RELEASE
Beware of the Dog: Rugby's Hard Man Reveals All By Brian Moore What is it about?
Link to find out more http://tinyurl.com/au-am01
Brian Moore, or 'Pitbull' as he came to be known during nearly a decade at the heart of the England rugby team's pack, established himself as one of the game's original hard men at a time when rugby was still an amateur sport. Since his retirement, he has earned a reputation as an equally uncompromising commentator, never afraid to tell it as he sees it and lash out at the money men and professionals that have made rugby into such a different beast. Yet, for all his bullishness on and off the pitch, there also appears a more unconventional, complicated side to the man. A solicitor by trade, Moore's love of fine wine, career experience as a manicurist and preference for reading Shakespeare in the dressing room before games, mark him out as anything but the stereotypical rugby player and in Beware of the Dog Moore lays open with astounding frankness the shocking events, both personal and professional, that have gone towards shaping him over the years. Presenting an unparalleled insight into the mind of one of British rugby's greatest players and characters, Beware of the Dog is a uniquely engaging and upfront sporting memoir.
We say: If you like sporting biographies you MUST read this book.
The Guernsey Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society By Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows What is it about? It's 1946 and author Juliet Ashton can't think what to write next. Out of the blue, she receives a letter from Dawsey Adams of Guernsey - by chance, he's acquired a book that once belonged to her - and, spurred on by their mutual love of reading, they begin a correspondence. When Dawsey reveals that he is a member of the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, her curiosity is piqued and it's not long before she begins to hear from other members. As letters fly back and forth with stories of life in Guernsey under the German Occupation, Juliet soon realizes that the society is every bit as extraordinary as its name. We say: A warm-hearted and lovely journey through a touching yet funny set of letters. A brilliant book that we give 10/10.
Link to find out more http://tinyurl.com/au-am03
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Flip it: How to get the best out of everything By Michael Heppell What is it about? It seems we’re all growing more negative. Bad news on the TV and in the papers makes us all feel fed up and we find it easier to talk about what’s wrong instead of looking for what’s good. But imagine knowing a simple trick that you could use to help you feel better about everything. No matter how bad, how upsetting, how annoying or how frustrating the situation, wouldn’t it be great if you had the power to take it on and make it better? Well, that simple trick does exist and it’s time to learn how to Flip It. Link to find out more http://tinyurl.com/au-am05
We say: A great read with lots of practical ideas on how to easily make positive changes to the way we all approach life. It is split into 10 sections such as health, money and family. Give it a try and see if you enjoy as much as we do.
501 Great Days Out in the UK and Ireland By David Brown, Arthur Findlay and Jackum Brown What is it about? 501 Days Out in the UK is an invaluable source of inspiration for those seeking to explore the UK's most fascinating locations. With 501 of the UK's most interesting days out, this book is the perfect guide to entertain friends and family with something for every age and interest. You will find everything from rural retreats and medieval castles to exhilarating roller coaster rides. Switch off your mind and visit some of the UK's most relaxing coastal paths. Or expand your mind and engage in some of the most fascinating museums in the UK. "501" is the perfect source of inspiration for every occasion, every mood and every person. After browsing through this book, you will never be stuck for things to do again.
Link to find out more http://tinyurl.com/au-am07
We say: Fantastic value for money and full of great ideas. Keep it handy for those days when you just need some inspiration!
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personal finance This month our resident expert Liz Faye takes a look at retirement and pensions.
You only retire once. Make sure you make the most of it. As you look towards retirement, you spend a lot of time thinking about what you can do with your days. This is the time when you finally get to please yourself – work part time, take on a personal project, tour the world or, without any guilt, simply do absolutely nothing. It’s taken you a lifetime to get here so a bit of planning is a very good thing. Part of these thoughts will involve your finances, particularly any pension you have built up. It has no doubt involved sacrifices to maximise its value and the decisions you make now you will live with, literally, for the rest of your life. It therefore deserves some serious thought.
Liz Faye is a Senior Financial Adviser and founder of Palm Financial Care Limited. www.palmfc.co.uk
Divest, defer, divide or drawdown? You may not realise but there are now many options which the right plan at retirement can offer. Of course you can take your income now – and a search though the annuity providers for the best rate and terms will maximise your return – but it is not the only option. If you are continuing to work, want to reduce your hours over time, or simply have enough money to see you through a couple of years, then phased retirement, drawdown (an unsecured pension) or short term deferral may be more appropriate. Your pension fund could end up as one of the largest assets you have, but how much is it actually going to pay you? £10,000 might buy you a one-off luxury trip round the world, but it is not so impressive if you need to plan many years of holidays.
For a free initial consultation on mention of this article, call on 01282 613006 If you would like more information, call Palm Financial Care. They can discuss the benefits and outline the process in more detail, without any obligation on your part. It will take only a few minutes – but could end up saving you thousands of pounds. Palm Financial Care Limited is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority www.fsa.gov.uk/register/home.do
FSA Registration No: 470648
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HAVE YOU BEEN REFUSED TRAVEL INSURANCE DUE TO HEALTH REASONS? Free Quoteline: 0800 083 2829 Obtaining suitable travel insurance if you suffer from a pre-existing medical condition is an
absolute must. If you are taken ill during your holiday you will be dependant on your travel insurance policy to make sure you receive the correct treatment and with medical bills potentially running into ÂŁ1000's you need to make sure your travel policy is going to be valid. Peace of mind The Insurance Surgery has identified a number of specialist travel insurers and brokers who will
cover the vast majority of pre-existing medical conditions. In many instances there will be no extra charge for the cover and you can concentrate on enjoying your holiday. Will my usual policy will be ok? Many travel insurance policies may exclude pre-existing conditions or impose terms that are unacceptable. It is vital that you check with your insurer to confirm that any conditions you may have are covered to your satisfaction.
What do we need to tell the insurers? You have a duty to disclose any material facts to the travel insurance company. This may include
what pre-existing medical conditions you have now or had in the past. Other information needed will be medication details, further treatment details and anything else that may be at all relevant. The simple rule is if you are unsure TELL THEM!
The Insurance Surgery is the first UK website that specifically helps clients with
pre-existing medical conditions find competitive life insurance, travel insurance and other financial services.
www.the-insurance-surgery.co.uk
Here is the first instalment of a fabulous 2-part story by Lilly Hughes
THE GESTURE As the coffin was lowered into the ground, the old man at the grave side lifted his shoulders up, as if in defiance of the gusting wind that was gathering speed. zzy could feel herself physically slump in her seat as she listened to the traffic report. “….expect delays on the Southern Road bypass due to an earlier accident”.
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As she joined the delays, her thoughts once again turned to Joe, her husband of 11 years. Dependable, reliable, boring, jog-pant wearing, Joe. Joe wasn’t her first steady boyfriend, but he was the first one who, she thought, totally understood her. When they first started living together they’d dream and plan for their future with an air of excitement. She recalled how he made her breakfast in bed a year to the day they started living together, planted an engagement ring in the top of a boiled egg and waited for her answer. She had no hesitation in saying yes and they were married within eight months.
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She felt a pang of guilt as she recalled her regular daydream; meeting a man who wanted to whisk her out of her mini cab, into another life. Not that she’d ever accept any offer if it came along, more the need to be wanted again; she yearned for the opportunity to say “no, sorry, I’m flattered but I have a husband”. It was such a shame that being asked if she was busy 72 times a day, didn’t quite cut it! Still, at least now they were going to do something that proved things between them weren’t great but they both wanted them to be. Izzy didn’t know how she’d managed to talk Joe into going to Relate but she had and by tomorrow they would have their first appointment under their belts. As the windscreen wipers moved in time to the song on the radio, Izzy was brought to the here and now by her all too familiar call sign “ Car 17, pick up at 36 Wyatt Road at 3.30 for a Mr Mayhew”. “Oh you are kidding!!!” she thought out loud – that was on the other side of town so she waited until the next junction and
made her way through the slow moving lines of traffic. “It was Sods Law” thought Izzy, “that when you need every light to be on green, it’s red you get! Only just arriving on time, she papped the horn outside number 36. The long narrow row of terrace houses with cars either side, meant parking up wasn’t an option and the rain was torrential now, the wipers would have needed a rave track if they were to keep up! A gentleman, who she presumed was Mr Mayhew, wearing a tweed trilby hat, closed the neatly painted blue door quietly behind him, took a step back and gave a glace upwards before half-jogging, half walking to the back of the car and getting in. “Southern Cemetery please, the new bit” he said whilst fastening his seat belt. “No problem. Not a great day eh” said Izzy trying to negotiate her way through the double parked cars as the rain hampered her view.
“No, not really” he replied wistfully; “never a good day for a funeral though”. “Oh, I’m so sorry – I don’t think sometimes, my husband is always telling me I should put my brain in gear before opening my big gob” “….anyone close?” said Izzy carefully, trying to show some compassion and prove that she could do more than small talk. “Yes and no I suppose. Married for over 50 years but for the last 8, she didn’t know me - didn’t see it coming either as she’d always been a bit scatty ya’ see” he added with a hint of a smile of remembrance. Izzy was temporarily at a loss – what can you say to a man who’d just lost his wife for the second time in 8 years? Before she could think of anything to say that didn’t sound lame, Mr Mayhew asked Izzy if she was married. “Yes but only a beginner compared to you - 11 years and counting” she added, trying to ease the mood. Izzy’s mind wandered again as she hoped that Joe had seen the clothes she’d left out on the bed for him – his good suit always made him look so much more important – he always acted it too when he wore it. His shoulders went back and he looked ready to take on the world rather than hide from it, like he usually did. He certainly hadn’t been himself of late, shift work didn’t suit his body clock and the lack of sleep was making him less interested in even talking, let alone anything else! “It wasn’t easy though ma’ love” Her thoughts were interrupted.
“Lord knows ‘ow many toasters we went through – kept forgetting the toast was done so down she sent it again! Black as coal it was. Then I caught her one day, just about to put the electric kettle on the lit gas – nearly blew us to smithereens she did!” He raised his voice when he recalled these tales, remembering all too well the fear in him at the time but his voice lightened as he recounted the days that she’d ask him twenty times if he’d fed the cat. “I wouldn’t mind but we never even ‘ad a cat!” Izzy looked back and saw his eyes twinkle in the mirror. They chuckled together, happier now in their space. He was looking back with humour although his sombre mood soon returned.
“He certainly hadn’t been himself of late, shift work didn’t suit his body clock and the lack of sleep was making him less interested in even talking, let alone anything else!”
“At least it wasn’t Cancer. She wouldn’t have wanted that – she always said she’d choose losing ‘er marbles over getting that”. We buried all our friends too ‘n Cancer took most of ‘em – only me left now” “can’t make me mind up whether I’m lucky or not” “no point in ‘aving a life with no one in it, eh love?”
Izzy’s thought of Joe – would he look after her if she ever needed it? Could she look after Joe? They hadn’t even made a Will and certainly hadn’t broached the subject of death and serious illness – too busy not living properly she supposed. Questions seized her mind and then she unexpectedly felt her heart race as she pondered the thought of growing older alone; without Joe. She’d only ever been to one funeral – her Gran’s when she was 16. She supposed it was one of the few advantages of being brought up by your Gran. Her Mum and Dad had died in a car accident when she was two, on their way back from a wedding. Izzy remembered when she was younger, crying herself to sleep at night, trying to remember what they looked like and her Gran would come in and read Woman’s Own to her, doing all silly voices to make her feel better again. Having been in a world of her own for a few minutes she felt compelled to speak; “you gonna be ok?” “Yeah, course I will love! Just don’t know what I’ll do with my days now. I used to go every day to the Hayfields ya see, so we could ‘ave our dinner together”. We’d sit and talk about anything really – not that she’d know I’d been like, but still, it was time together”.
The concluding part of The Gesture will feature in our next issue which is out on 18th March.
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technology BLUETOOTH REDFACE
arly adoption of new technologies has always been expensive. It is rumoured that NASA, in its race to the moon in the sixties, spent $1.5 million on developing a pen that would work in zero gravity. The Russians opted for pencils instead.
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In 1982 I spent a week's wages on a Sony Walkman cassette player. It was expensive but I always was keen on listening to hi-fi music so that, along with the social cachet I supposed it to confer, was enough to justify the purchase. Today's generation of music lovers may dismiss the cassette player as clunky technology, but then they have the advantage of having jumped straight to MP3. The rest of us must first make our way out of the swamp of shelves full of records, cassettes and CDs, plus the various devices required to play 14
Joe Holdsworth tackles the world of Bluetooth with his usual humour them, and out into the bright light of digital files. Some of us will never emerge, being unwilling to place our trust in new technologies. Nowadays my appetite for the adoption of new gadgets is tempered by need, although a fascination for novel technology still can lead me astray. Take the case of the mobile phone. It's no longer new, but it has been enhanced to a point where it can do a lot more than make phone connections. It is the new Walkman, using MP3 files instead of magnetic tape to deliver personal hi-fi. The process of getting the music onto the phone in the first place may be a little tedious, but the rewards are considerable. Putting aside quibbles about relative quality of sound reproduction, there is no denying that portable music-on-demand is a great attraction for fans. Travelling frequently by train, as I do, there are times when reading wears thin, and a nice jolt of jazz just does the trick. And so I loaded my phone with some of my favourite recordings and looked forward to the opportunity to test this new wonder. The first attempt was disappointing because the earphones supplied with the phone
proved to be a weak link. They were so leaky and so lo-fi that there was no pleasure to be had in the listening experience. But what to do? Good hi-fi earphones have the wrong kind of plug at the end of the cable, so they can't be used on my phone. But technology has the answer and, I was soon able to find it by means of that other marvel of the age, the internet. The kit in focus was the Bluetooth hi-fi earphone which (keep up, now) does not need wires, plugs and sockets. Oh joy! Fifty quid later, and after more than a little time spent setting it all up, I had demonstrated to my smug satisfaction that I could listen, in hifi, to the music stored on my phone. I couldn't wait to book my next train journey. Settling in to Coltrane, on the 07.15 to London, I had no more than five minutes of satisfaction before an unexpected problem developed. The sound level suddenly dropped and became distant, and the volume control appeared to be having very little effect. I theorised that the proximity of the handset to the ear-phones might affect the signal transmission, so
GETTING TO KNOW YOUR DESKTOP Our resident software guru Andy Drinkwater starts us off with a gentle introduction to Microsoft Word
experimented by holding the phone further away, which resulted in a marked decrease in volume, and then closer with, as expected, the opposite effect. Even so, sound quality was very tinny and I puzzled over the cause of this disappointment. This experiment went on for several minutes before I managed to work out the explanation. The wireless connection between the two devices had failed. What I, and my neighbours, could hear, was Coltrane blasting through the tiny speaker on a phone which truly was mobile, since I was waving it about as part of my experiment. Since my public discovery that Bluetooth technology is not to be trusted I have kept a low music profile on the trains, and practised at home the techniques for making the technology work for me. Progress is being made but, and I should know this by now, technology cannot be trusted 100%. The price to be paid for early adoption is clearly beyond monetary. Joe Holdsworth
Microsoft Word is an very powerful program, but getting at that power may not be as easy or intuitive as you might like. It can be incredibly frustrating when you know you should be able to do something with the program but can't, for the life of you, figure out how to do it. The program has been around since 1983 so it is likely that many people have used it at sometime in their life. Whilst many of us feel that we are reasonably competent with applications such as Word, remember, "you don't know how to do something if you don't know it can do it". Over the coming months I will highlight some tips and sources that will teach and enhance your experience with some of the more well know applications. Lets start with the very first: TOP TIP: N0. 1 — Add a table to your word document. A Word table is an object you can add to your document to help organize text and other content on a page. It's simply a container that works very much like a closet organizer or that tray in your silverware drawer: it provides separate space for each of your important items so that things are easy to find, and helps you fit more without crowding. Add tables to your document to display text and data, to create simple and professional forms that others complete electronically, or to help organize the elements on a page for complex documents like presentations and reports. Have a look at Microsoft's own online audio guide here: http://tinyurl.com/tables01
Andy Drinkwater is Managing Director of Group Resource.
www.resource-training.com.
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RIVIERA REVOLUTION Edith Cocker has a Nice surprise
have travelled to the Riviera before. It always sounds so glitzy and glamorous and to be honest, I didn’t really think I would like it. The thought of bumping into Angelina Jolie when walking down the Croisette in Cannes made me feel a tad inadequate! I much prefer things to be a little more ‘real’, if you know what I mean?
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So, I was pleasantly surprised (actually, ecstatic!) when I visited Nice last year. Not the newer area, vaguely trying to mimic Cannes with the posh shops and uniformed butlers outside the Negresco, but the old town – Vieux Nice as it is called. OK, it is the ‘coolest’ bit of Nice by far, but in a friendly, higgledy piggledy, crazy people and street performing sort of way. It is also incredibly cosmopolitan – Nice is the 5th largest city in France and the airport brings people in from all over the world. It is fantastic for people (like me) who just want to sit, sip a large glass of Provencal wine and people watch for hours.
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Another major pull are the street performers. Not the naff ones you get on the promenade, but really good jazz, blues and rock bands who come for a few weeks. They have gigs planned in the evening and just busk during the day by pitching up at restaurants whilst you are nibbling on a salad nicoise..........fabulous. It is also the bit of Nice which has the highest concentration of gay people. It doesn’t advertise the fact, like Canal Street in Manchester, but there is obviously a gay scene which, for me, just adds to the eclectic mix and fantastic vibe in the area.
It seems to have everything – beaches (private and public), music, hundreds of restaurants and quirky shops, great links to Monaco, Cannes and further afield via the gorgeous costal road and a personality of it’s own. What a revolution! Edith Cocker
FACT FILE Accommodation: Apartment on Rue de la Prefecture , Vieux Nice.
www.nice-holiday-apartments.co.uk Flights: Jet 2 from Manchester (you can get Easyjet from Liverpool) – flight time 2 hours Ate at: Safari, Cours Saleya (Nice institution, everyone has been here and you will find out why) Bistro Antoine, Rue de la Prefecture: locally sourced food, fantastic wine and practically impossible to get into (BOOK) Part des Anges, Rue Gubernatis: Fantastic wine shop with some small tables serving freshly prepared food daily – you can buy the wine from the shelf (same price) and have it with your food!
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A MATCH MADE ON EARTH In this special feature, relationship expert Nancy Jaeger looks at how to date in the real world. ori Gottlieb has caused quite a stir in America with her new book, Mr Good Enough: The Case For Choosing A Real Man Over Holding Out For Mr Perfect. Her basic assertion is that after 40 single women who are looking for marriage and children should stop looking for Mr. Right, and settle for Mr. Good Enough. Even though there are those who would argue that not all women want to be married and have children, she makes a lot of sense and most of her advice is equally relevant to both sexes.
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As a professional matchmaker I can only endorse her thesis that we let a romantic ideal distort our prospects for future happiness with a perfectly acceptable and loving partner. In my experience, ‘Because I’m Worth It’ is probably the most culturally damaging assertion for preventing couples from forming happy relationships.
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My top 5 tips on how to view both a potential partner and yourself in a constructive and realistic light follow: 1/ Look for common ground, even apparent differences can be beneficial. Judging another person is a fine art and when I match my clients I am looking at the personality
characteristics that will make a match work. Many people get hung up on specifics rather than looking for more general levels of compatibility. For instance, ‘She plays tennis, but I like golf, so I won’t go out with her. ‘ is the kind of thinking we matchmakers encounter all too often.
This is so self defeating, instead I advise clients to look at it this way: ‘We are two sporty people, if she’s willing to play tennis then either she’ll understand my need to play golf, or even better, we may teach each other something new and both enjoy two sports. ‘ Or ‘ I’m interested in travel; he’s interested in history – no match there.’ . How about thinking, ‘We’re both curious about the world, let’s take a holiday visiting ancient sites, what could be more perfect?’ 2/ Get real about what’s important and what is trivial. Clients often come to me with very specific (but actually totally trivial) expectations and requirements from prospective partners. One of my favourites is, ‘I like wearing high heels, so don’t introduce me to any men who are less the 4 inches
taller than me.’ Really? So you would rather be alone in bed clutching your high heels for the rest of your life, rather than in a warm, loving relationship with a guy your size? Are you nuts? Men also too often focus on the physical and neglect to attach importance to the really important things – do we share the same values, the same or similar sense of humour, is this person kind/warm/ loving/loyal/trustworthy?, and above all will they view our relationship as a caring partnership which will nurture and support us both? Neither men nor women over a certain age look perfect and no-one whatever age they are has a flawless personality or no baggage! 3/ Don’t keep repeating your mistakes The old adage ‘If you keep doing the same thing, you’ll keep getting the same results’ was never more true than in dating. Time and time again I see clients who sit down and announce ‘I only go out with younger men/leggy brunettes/ graduates/high-flying businessmen or whatever ....’ It is extremely hard not to laugh and say ’Sounds like a great plan, so where are they now?’ If you are fixated on a certain type (and usually those who are can point to a long line of failed relationships with the leggy brunettes/younger men, etc.,) you ought to be asking yourself why these relationships inevitably fail.
Could it be the chasing the attribute rather than actually getting to know the person has clouded your judgement to such an extent that anyone who fits the bill - An axe murderer? Who cares he’s younger than me! - is not the ideal formula for a successful relationship. How many more failed relationships with younger, tall, blonde models can Rod Stewart fit into his life before he expires?
Or is your search for the perfect leggy brunette really about ignoring the fact that by definition leggy brunettes are not interested in a long term relationship with you or anyone else? 4/ Get over yourself. If you are prone to statements like ‘I’m a cat person’, ‘I can only go out with Virgos’, or ‘I’m too beautiful/ clever for...’, then all I can say in response to this nonsense is Ho Hum, so what?
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Are you defining yourself by characteristics that you think make you ‘interesting’? Well if you are over 25, the bad news is they don’t make you interesting, they just make you sound narrow-mined, massively unimaginative and not a little bit silly. Teenagers need to latch on to some external or internal characteristics to make themselves feel and look interesting to their peers, adults do not. Stop shooting yourself in the foot by clinging on to silly selfdefinitions and start looking at the wider picture. Are you a good friend, environmentally aware, charitable, kind, funny and is the other person too? Great! You have nothing to lose but the banality of being a ‘cat person’. 5/ Yes, you are ordinary The final curse of modern culture is to lead us to over-grandiose feelings l about our own uniqueness. If we are prepared to see ourselves and nice, ordinary human beings, looking for love and affection and companionship; rather than
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imagining no-one less than a wealthy, stunning attractive celebrity is good enough for you, then we’ll all be a heck of a lot happier.
Shake of the shackles of pre-conceptions and go forth dating and meeting other people with an open mind, therein lies the secret of finding a loving partner!
In conclusion, ask not what the other person can do for you, but what have you got to offer them? Too many single people see their opposite number as a consumer item, rather than a bundle of positive personality traits that are far more rewarding to be associated with over the long term.
If you need help in your search for a new partner then contact Link Introductions on 0800 043 1857 or
Nancy Jaeger
www.linkintroductions.co.uk to join an introduction agency, or for internet dating try www.over50findlove.com
WHEN DID YOU LAST HAVE A FINANCIAL HEALTH CHECK? Don’t leave it until it’s too late to put your future on the RIGHT financial track!
Visit us at www.palmfc.co.uk
Palm Financial Care Limited is Authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority. Palm Financial Care Limited is registered in England. Registered Office: Palm House, 14 Ashton Drive, Nelson, Lancashire. BB9 0UA. Reg No. 6261386
food & drink This month we focus on sweet treats that can be enjoyed by all over the coming weeks!
Gluten free hot cross buns Delicious spicy traditional buns crossed with shortcrust pastry. Makes 6 Preparation time 15 minutes Proving time 80 minutes Cooking time 15 minutes Oven temperature 190 C / Gas Mark 5 Ingredients 350g/12oz Glutafin Select Bread Mix 1½x5ml tsp Easy blend dried yeast (enclosed with mix)
1. Place the Glutafin Select Bread Mix and yeast in a large mixing bowl and mix with a fork to combine. 2. Beat in the remaining ingredients with a wooden spoon and mix to a thick batter. 3. Cover the bowl with cling film and leave for an hour to prove until the mixture has doubled in size. 4. Stir the dough with a fork to knock out
2x5ml tsp Ground mixed spice
the air.
150ml/5fl oz Full cream milk
5. Spoon into 10cm/4" rounds onto a
25g/1oz Boiling water
baking sheet lined with greaseproof.
25g/1oz Butter (melted)
6. Smooth the hot cross buns with the back
1 Medium egg (lightly beaten)
of spoon dipped in water.
25g/1oz Caster sugar
7. Cover with oiled cling film. Leave for 20
75g/3oz Sultanas 50g/2oz Mixed citrus peel
minutes to prove. 8. Brush with milk. Roll out prepared pastry into thin strips. Rest pastry in a cross
For the topping
pattern onto the bun before cooking. Brush with milk.
2x15ml tbsp Milk 75g/3oz Prepared gluten-free shortcrust pastry For the sugar syrup 50g/2oz Caster sugar
9. Cook until the hot cross buns are golden and risen. 10. Make the sugar syrup. Dissolve the sugar in the water. Brush onto buns whilst still warm. 11. Serve immediately or cut horizontally
2x15ml tbsp Boiling water
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and serve toasted spread with butter.
Gluten free brownies Dark and sugary traditional brownies.
Makes 6 Preparation time 10 minutes Cooking time 30—35 minutes Oven temperature 180 C / Gas Mark 4 Recipe courtesy of Darina Allen and Rosemary Kearney
Ingredients 50g/2oz best-quality gluten-free dark chocolate 100g/3½oz butter 200g/7oz caster sugar 2 eggs, preferably free-range, lightly whisked 1-2 tsp pure vanilla extract 75g/3oz ground almonds 1-2 tsp gluten-free baking powder pinch of salt 110g/4oz chopped walnuts 20cm/8in square tin, lined with silicone paper 1. Melt the chocolate in a heatproof bowl suspended over a pan of simmering water or in a low oven. 2. Cream the butter and sugar until pale, soft and light, then beat in the lightly whisked eggs, the vanilla extract and melted chocolate. Lastly stir in the ground almonds, gluten-free baking powder, salt and chopped nuts. Spread the mixture in the tin and bake in the oven for about 30-35 minutes. 3. Leave to cool, then cut into 5cm/2in squares for serving.
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2010 FLOWER HOROSCOPES For the year ahead
Aries March 21st - April 20th
Taurus April 21st - May 21st
It’s time to make pleasure a priority as work has been hectic lately and with your relationships taking so much out of your emotional bank, so ensure that along with the better weather comes your commitment to yourself. You do feel rather like a fragile flower at the moment – one that the seasons have taken its toll on – but all that will change and as a result, life will become much more satisfying and sociable.
Spring for you will be just that – a spring board that you’ll jump onto to leap into action. This is going to be a very demanding period of your life so ensure that you are both physically and mentally fit to handle it. Don’t put off those medical screenings for fear of what they’ll show up – get them booked and deal with it. Make it your mission statement to deal with everything head on for mid to late 2010 and it will be the best decision you’ll make this year. Keep your eyes and ears open to new opportunities as they will subtly pass through your life – stay alert and make brave decisions – you’ll be suitably rewarded.
Flower for 2010: Azalea – fragile passion
Gemini May 22nd - June 21st
Once the flowers and trees start waking up, you’ll be filled with renewed vigour and have the energy that has been sorely lacking over the last few months. It is an exciting time being a Gemini and you’ll be glad that you have the ability to be two personalities in one, as your life will call on that duplicity more than ever. In one respect you are going to be called upon to utilise your creative communication skills, but on the other you’ll need to remain confidential about what’s going on around you. Travel is well starred but beware of what you say to strangers – they could have a closer connection to you than Flower for 2010: Iris - Faith; hope; you think. Flower for 2010: Carnation: health wisdom and valour and energy
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Cancer June 22nd - July 23rd
Leo July 24th - August 23rd
Virgo August 24th - September 23rd
Hopefully the planner in you has planned ahead and what is about to occur mid 2010 won’t be a total surprise. You’re entering a highly prosperous phase of your future and you could be making one of life’s huge decisions in the latter half of the year – a new education, a new larger home, a new addition to the family, even a second home in the sun? Whichever option it is, it is favourably starred and you better believe it, your dreams will turn into reality by the end of 2010.
It’s gonna be hard work and you’ll need every ounce of focus to keep you on track – but my word, come Summer and you’ll see that the results are worth it! They’ll feel even better as your achievements are 100% your own. With this hectic time ahead, as Spring approaches, it’s time to pamper and lay away some “you time”. Listen out for your family members coming up with some bright ideas too – don’t just dismiss them as your loved ones paying you lip-service, as if you do, it will be you who is kissing your dreams goodbye. By the way, 80% of that list of problems in your head are either problems of your own making or simply aren’t problems at all – so start now by focusing on the 20% that really matters, and your life plans will blossom.
You will have seen the ending of one way of life and the start of another recently and everything seems to have moved so quickly – this pace isn’t going to change mid year either Virgo as events and relationships will all go one way or another. By the time you’re looking to pack your bikinis and sun tan oil in your suitcase, you will more than need the break – take the time to relax and un-clutter your mind – stop regretting those decisions you’ve already made and enjoy the great things about your life – and there are plenty. Any business links you are making with others are favourably starred but you must listen to your head on this one, not your heart.
Flower for 2010: Dandelion: Wishes come true
Flower for 2010:
Flower for 2010: Orange Blossom: Brings wisdom
Marigold: Comforts the heart
Libra September 24th - October 23rd
Scorpio October 24th - November 22nd
Sagittarius November 23rd - December 21st
With the increased numbers in your friendship circle at the moment it seems that you have more viewpoints to take on board and with this has come a new way of looking at your own strengths and weaknesses. A higher sense of self-belief has led you to receiving far more compliments than usual and even more surprisingly – you’re accepting them graciously rather than shying away. This renewal of inner faith and self-esteem will see you go from strength to strength and by the end of Spring, you will become the YOU, you were always meant to be!
Got an itch you can’t scratch Scorpio – feeling as though there should be more to life than the every day bump n grind? Well Spring 2010 is going to give you the arms to reach the itch and the strength to do whatever you want to spend your energies on! The only warning is to make sure that you don’t let things snowball so you are just reacting to these life changes – take control and structure them how you want them to be. You are entering a new learning curve and education and legal aspects are well starred for you – but again, eyes open Scorpio – expect a sting in the tale – then when it comes, you’re prepared.
Don’t overlook taking on the mundane to finance the things that you’re passionate about. That new lease of life you’ve been waiting for, is almost upon us and will be taking a hold soon, so life will be so much busier in mid to late 2010. The quiet time you may be experiencing at the moment should be relished and used to plan exactly what lights your fire – so focus, plan and let those ambitions take on a force to behold. You’ll amaze your critics and stun your detractors – watch out world – Sadge has a plan and nothing will stand in their way.
Flower for 2010: White Violet: Take a chance on happiness
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Flower for 2010: Yellow Poppy: Wealth; success
Flower for 2010: Daffodil: Respect
Capricorn December 22nd - January 20th
Aquarius January 21st - February 19th
Pisces February 20th - March 20th
Your reserved nature could do an about turn with the rising of the Spring sun. This is time to let your other halves, both in business and love, know what you’re thinking for once, rather than getting frustrated when they guess wrong. Communication is key for all you Capricorns and as you start to open up, you start to realise exactly who you are – and that it’s different to who you want to be. Time for change is upon you with the advent of Spring – and once you’ve done some slight alterations you’ll love the final version of you, and so will everybody else.
Heading for the path less trodden is not usually the easiest route – but when has an Aquarians life path ever taken the easy route? The beauty of this unspoilt path is that it will lead you to a period of startling results in all you attempt. The skills you’ll need to hone is ignoring those who ridicule but to listen carefully to your elders who have trodden the route previously – they do know what they’re talking about and will lead you well. The power and the security that you crave and which you require in order to lead a fulfilled life, is on its way – be brave and enjoy the journey.
Flower for 2010:
Flower for 2010:
White Chrysanthemum - Truth
Forsythia – Anticipation
Open the window, feel the breeze and tackle whatever life throws at you this Spring – you’ll have the energy to tackle it and you’ll need it as you’ll be in demand for the remainder of the year in all aspects of your life. Anything that removes you from your comfort zone and seems risky will turn out to be anything but! The gamble will pay off and you’ll be suitably rewarded. Appreciation from others matters as much to you as monetary payments for your services and lucky for you, you’re going to see plenty of both – just make sure to save half the money you make, as you’ve been here before remember and the unexpected may be all too familiar. Flower for 2010: Jasmine: Amiability; attracts wealth
2010 Flower Horoscopes are courtesy of Spooks
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the final word We hope you have enjoyed the first ageunlimited issue and that it has given you a taste of what is yet to come. We would really appreciate your feedback on anything else you would like to see featured or discussed within the magazine. Hopefully, the mixture of useful factual information, combined with lifestyle features, makes it an interesting and informative read. Looking forward to the next issue, we have even more helpful stuff on relevant subjects from legal advice through to health and fitness tips. Our roving travel reporter will be giving us a fantastic slice of the big apple, with an article on New York and there will be many more reviews, competitions and stories to keep you glued to your computer screen. We also have an exclusive interview with Nancy Jaeger, once married to the actor Tony Booth, she tells us how her experience of life has shaped the way she advises clients in her successful dating business – learning the hard way! In order to give you more of what you want to read about, we would be really grateful if you could take a few moments to tell us what you think. Are you tired of celebrity stories and want to hear more about ‘real people’ who have done extraordinary things? Do you cringe when you see publications aimed at over 50’s which seem way older than how you currently feel? We would like to hear it, warts and all. Just click on this link http://issuu.com/ageunlimited and leave us your comments please.
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Next Issue
Out 18th March