TO PAY OR NOT? Continued from Page 17
together and do a wide variety of chores to better the family,” she says. “It is expected and not rewarded with money.” Paul Fugelsang, a licensed professional counselor who works with adults, kids, and families in Asheville, agrees that using money as an incentive for chores is a bad idea. “I don’t recommend using money to motivate kids,” Fugelsang says. “If a child is raised to believe that he will get a reward every time he does something he’s supposed to do, then he will assume that his value in the family is primarily connected to the pay he receives and not the effort he puts forth.” This method will backfire, according to Fugelsang, when the child becomes an adult and those monetary rewards aren’t always forthcoming. “When she becomes an adult, your child will be disappointed by the lack of monetary incentives in the real world,” Fugelsang says. “When she isn’t paid extra for getting to her job on time or doing her
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work, disillusionment and decreased effort is likely to occur.” Fugelsang encourages those in his practice to give their kids a set, weekly allowance that is unconnected to chores. This gives kids the opportunity to learn to handle money and learn about fiscal responsibility at an early age when, as he notes, “the consequences of spending poorly are much less expensive.” The Crisp family, of Fairview, includes Brian and Charon plus their three Paul kids Brittainy, 14; Brandon, Fugelsang 12; and Brooke, 10. All three attend Asheville Christian Academy, which precludes the kids receiving money for grades. “We already sacrifice a lot to pay for their education,” Charon Crisp explains, “so we feel they should be giving their best efforts for themselves, not because they’re being paid.” At home, when the kids were younger, Crisp would offer them a quarter or 50 cents to do some chores, but the money wasn’t enough to inspire anyone. “I was so cheap, no one was interested,”
Crisp says, laughing. “Now they do everything anyway with no pay benefits.” However, if the family is running late, she admits to offering Brooke a couple of dollars to feed everyone’s animals — no small chore with ducks, rabbits, dogs, cats, fish and chickens in two locations. And this summer, Brandon started earning money by mowing and weed eating for members of his extended family. The kids also lend a hand, free of charge, with their grandparents’ cabbage patch in Henderson County. The family plants more than 35,000 cabbages each year, and the Crisp kids are right there planting, fertilizing, hoeing and harvesting. “I feel you do some things, like working the cabbage field, just to help other people,” Crisp says. “Not everything in life should be based on money.” Even if she had more disposable income to share with her kids, Crisp says the kids should be willing to help their parents, not just see dollar signs in exchange for their efforts. “If I help my kids as they grow up,” Crisp says, “I hope they will be there to help us when we get older without expecting money for their love and support.”
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