Genevieve comes in, drumming the air with her forefingers. She goes into the kitchen and fiddles with the stove knobs. The pilot light is not lit, and a steady stream of gas releases into the air. 27 “Do I look like a Princess Kittymittens to you?” Bette says. Lily has no idea what she’s talking about. “Yes,” she says. “Maybe.” And because Bette looks sad, she kisses her. The father looks at the clock. 5:04. The coworker is leaning against the door frame, playing with a lock of hair. “I have no time for this,” he says. “I retire in ten months.” He leaves her in the copy room, taking care to step over the pool of Dr. Pepper at her feet. George waits for Esther in the cereal aisle at the grocery store. He pulls the gerbil out of his pocket so it can burrow in his afro. It is limp. “Oh man,” he says. “I’m sorry about the rosemary, little buddy.” He hums Simon and Garfunkel and cries a little. The audience sniffles or says ‘aw.’ The series will end soon. The writers, in their sorrow, will be sentimental 28. We will watch to the end, and when it is over we will change the channel.
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The Sacrosancts is famous for loaded guns that appear but never go off, though sometimes they “fire” between episodes and we hear about the aftermath, and sometimes they are never mentioned again; because of the severity of the situation, fans speculate that this gun will never be fired 28 Some fans predict that in the final episode, Mr. Sacrosanct will make a joke and everyone will laugh and say we love you, ________ and the blank will be filled with something other than an insult, diminutive, or title; some say this is wishful thinking
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