AberCADABRA - Year I, Number 1

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Valhalla Rising (2009) review Aberystwyth Arts Magazine

Year I, Number 1

COUNTRY PUNS [Two men are sat in a restaurant. Both are looking at their menus. A waitress enters.] Waitress: And what will you be having, sirs? Man 1: I’ll have the Turkey. Man 2: Me too, I’m feeling quite Hun-gary. Man 1: And Kenya get me a can of coke? -and some bread. [Waitress sighs, writes in her notebook and leaves.] Man 2: This place Israel nice. Man 1: I’ve been China find a nice little place like this for a while now. Man 2: They Serb’ya quite well here. Man 1: Armeny’ve the other places in the area have you tried? Man 2: I forget now, but I wrote them down at home on i-tally chart. Most of them were just Greecey. [Waitress comes back with a can of coke and a basket of bread and places them on the table.] Waitress: Here is your coke and bread. [Man 2 opens the can. It fizzes up.] Man 2: Woah! I wonder what Mexa-can fizz like that? [Man 1 turns the can around showing a smiley-face] Man 1: Oh, I get it, it’s a merrycan. [Man 2 looks through the bread] Man 2: There’s Moldova this bread! Man 1: Norway can we accept this. Take it back and bring us a new one. [Waitress looks very annoyed.] Waitress: Yes…sir. Man 2: Before you go, bring me some tea as well, with Swedeners. Waitress: Sir. [Waitress leaves. Man 1 pulls out a newspaper.] Man 1: David Cameroon’s in the news again today. Man 2: Oh? What’s he Ghana do? Man 1: He made the mistake of describing a new British airline carrier as “titanic”. Let’s hope they have more Lucks-on-berg. Man 2: That’S’painful. Man 1: And I bought a new MP3 player last week, designed for when you’re jogging. It’s called an iRan. Man 2: That sounds stupid, I don’t Bolivia. You don’t need a new one just for jogging, the salesman’s crafty, ‘Ejipped you. Have you got it with you? What Tune-isya listening to? Man1: It’s just Mahrocc’an roll that I torrented. Man 2: You shouldn’t do that, you’ll make a Singer poor. I thought you couldn’t go jogging, what did your German doctor tell you?

03.17.2011

Distributed free. Read it, pass it.

Man 1: That’s right, Dr. Martin Eek. He said “[German accent] Lat-vee-ask you a few kvestions. Vere does it hurt? [Man 1 points to his knees] “ahh, In-da-knees, ja? Vell, I recommend spending a long time sat down on Djibouti, now take your shirt off and let’s see your Nep-…” By the way, Uganda drink that coke? Man 2: Ye, man. [Man 2 takes a sip of Coke. Waitress re-enters, with slightly disheveled hair.] Waitress: Here is your bread and your tea... sirs. Man 2: Thank you, if you keep this up, you’ll make a good Korea for yourself. Man 1: Na, maybe-a normal one. She Sudan’t frown so much. [Waitress starts to cry.] Man 1: What’re Ukraine about? Waitress: God I hate puns. I’ve been waiting for a day like this, to push me over the edge, so I can end my miserable life. I…I…I CON’GO ON! [Waitress pulls out a knife, stabs herself and lands on the table, face towards the audience with a big grin remaining on her face.] Man 1: Oh my god, I don’t Belize it! [Man 1 starts hyperventilating.] Man 2: We need to think of something. Stop panicking, you’re Russian me! Man 1: We Mozambique-calm! Man 2: Look, I know what to do, I was Indiarmy. Man 1: Someone just died, and you have such indif-France! [A manager enters.] Manager: What is going on here?! I’m the manager. Man 2: Oh, I’m glad we have her Boss-near…We were just having a Chad and she committed suicide on the table! Manager: Oh lord Jesus Mary and Joseph. Okay, you two stand over there, and we’ll get the police. [Manager walks off.] Man 1: Ohhhh my god, this is some Syrias shit. Do you think it Malta been our fault? [Manager walks back in.] Manager: We’ll ask you gentlemen to leave right now, here’s your bill. [Man 1 receives and reads the bill] Man 2: I wonder why she’s Somalin’ like that. Man 1: ONE CHILEAN POUNDS?! By Niall Blake This sketch was written for the One Acts Festival being put on by the Broad-Ways drama society. The One Acts festival will be held on the 30th and 31st of March and the 1st of April.

Marketed like a simple action movie (the awful dvd cover is quite evidently trying to get an unprepared public to watch a film only people who see Cinema as an Art form will like) and unjustly overlooked by critics, the last film by Danish filmmaker Nicolas Winding Refn (director of Bronson), is a complex, multi-layered journey into the concepts of Myth, Religion, and ultimately Man itself. Valhalla Rising follows the story of One-Eye (Mads Mikkelsen), a mute Norse warrior whose humanity is uncertain, first in his escaping slavery and then in his embarking with a group of Christian Vikings towards the Holy Land. Symbolic imagery is preponderant throughout the whole picture: the many ways in which one might interpret the events, the Metamorphosis of the main character from a Myth, a mythological beast we could say, to Man, Warrior, and ultimately to God. Of course we are not talking here about the Christian God, about the almighty old guy with a white beard who can see everything and nobody has ever seen doing anything. We're talking about God in the eye of man: One-Eye's actions, his ways, make him godlike in the eyes of his companions, thus making him a God among men. “In the Land of the Blind, the one-eyed man is King”, said Erasmus. The subtle critique of Christianity becomes evident in the representation of the superstitious Christian Vikings, on their using religion to make a claim over lands and people. Praising God while betraying and killing their own friends, they don't seem so far from today's fanatics. Technically, Valhalla Rising is nothing short of extraordinary. The visuals, reminding of Herzog and Tarkovsky, show an uncorrupted, wild Nature of ancient times. The director slowly captures his audience, or at least the part of his audience willing to be captured by sheer cinematic beauty and complex storytelling (so, I'd say, a minority), not through lines of dialogue (very scarce, indeed), but through an intense use of the power of moving images. Not a film for many, Valhalla Rising, with its slow paced action and philosophical and metaphysical research. Not a film for people looking for mindless Viking violence. The violence explodes, yes, a couple of times, but that's not the point. The point is elsewhere, the point is in the power of Cinema. Stupid would be looking at the finger pointing to the Moon. By Andrea Buccino

Samuel Sebastian Wesley (1810 – 1876) review Of the great 19th Century composers, Sebastian Wesley seems to be somewhat over-looked. Born in London in 1810 to the composer Samuel Wesley, Sebastian’s musical career started very early on when he began singing at the Chapel Royal as a boy. He was later appointed organist at Hereford Cathedral and continued

to play at Exeter Cathedral, Leeds Parish Church, Winchester Cathedral and Gloucester Cathedral. His compositions are still cherished by the Church of England (for which he composed almost exclusively). His typical style is known as verse anthems; which use both unison and smaller solo passages. A prime example of this is Blessed be the God and Father. A truly beautiful piece, if somewhat lengthy, an occupational hazard with these types of anthems unfortunately. Wesley’s style of tuning, known as equal temperament, challenges the conventional way of writing music. Instead of an octave being 8 simple notes, Wesley chooses to look at music mathematically and splits his octaves into 12 equal parts using logarithms. This tuning, however, allows for some genuinely luxurious harmonies both in his vocal and organ writing. Lead me Lord, another of his better-known motets, uses this exact tuning structure. Wesley also likes to use clash chords to evoke the true emotion of his pieces. Wash me Throughly, uses clash chords to show the pain of the sinner asking for the forgiveness of God and to have their sin thoroughly washed away. Wesley’s clashes are something of a feature characteristic in his pieces. I suppose writing for the Church, these chords would convey the emotion of the piece to a congregation not necessarily capable of distinguishing words (another hazard of church music. Trust me, there’s a fair few). Overall, Samuel Sebastian Wesley is indeed one of the great English, 19th Century composers who so often are forgotten, even though his pieces still hit a resonant note with musicians today. No organ recital is complete without at least one of his compositions but who really remembers much about this 3rd generation composer? By Catherine Deering

The Lovely Bones (2002) review “My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973” The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold is a truly inspirational book about a family coping with the murder of their daughter. There are moments of laughter, tears and moments that are truly heart-warming. Susie Salmon, aged 14, was murdered on her way home from school one evening by a man in her neighborhood. We see Susie‘s family struggle to find her killer, whilst she and the reader know his identity, there are moments when I wanted to yell at the book when the family are talking to her killer and are completely clueless! Susie narrates the story from her new home in heaven, the innocence of Susie‘s narration adds to the poignancy of the story. It is what is not said that makes the description of her murder, truly horrifying. Seybold’s description of Susie’s heaven is certainly different from the traditional


Christian heaven; watching over her family in their grief the book describes both Susie’s and her family’s journey to the eventual acceptance of her death, she sees her family and friends grow up and form new relationships, something she will never have the chance to do. In 1973, when she was murdered, she tells us it was “before the days of milk carton photos and public service announcements” It was, she states, when people believed that things like that didn’t happen. Despite the gritty realism of the subject matter the narration is light-hearted and often quite funny! “This book will stay with you long after you finish the last page” - Daily Telegraph. By Suzanne Curley

Barrie Stott, director of Not Quite Shakespeare Lunch break. The cast is starving. Barrie walks over to me and tells me we can do the interview now. I just witnessed one of Not Quite Shakespeare's rehearsals, a roughly 90 minute play that will be performed this Saturday at Arad Goch. Most of the time I was laughing like a hyena. Inspired by The Compleat Works of Wllm Shkspr (abridged), but ‘aberystwythised’ by Barrie Stott and Laura Ellis, this play is a jewel. It would be a waste of time to try and present it in words: men in silly wigs, Othello Rap, The Scottish Play as a zombie film. My only advice, go and see it live! We’re leaving the Music Room in Cwrt Mawr for a patch of grass. At first Barrie doesn’t want to sit down, afraid he’ll get his camo pants wet. I convince him to join me. He’s bringing out a pair of smoky sunglasses, trying to hide from the sun and probably the questions. I do have the reputation of a killer-interviewer.

there I became my drama teacher’s right hand man and was involved in a lot of productions: production manager, lights, sound. George: So you have some experience from Malta. Barrie: Yes. I actually started there. I did a very surreal, apocalypse play called Mercury Fur and I was a little gothic kid, which is completely different to my nature for anybody who knows me. George: But you’ve done both acting and directing. Barrie: Absolutely. The first piece I directed was a forum theatre piece surrounding AIDS and HIV, Who’s Breaking by Philip Osment. I had a wonderful cast and we performed that twice in a year. George: Do you have any superstitions? Like wearing the same socks every day during a production… Barrie: I have never had any quirks like that. I have to have my notebook with me all the time… but I think that’s every director and no matter what I do, I can’t not take a note. George: Let me now get back to a ‘why’ question. Why Not Quite Shakespeare? Barrie: It took a lot of decision to pick this. One night I decided I wanted to do a play. There’s nothing going on here. I went to my bookcase and picked a selection of plays. I wanted a small cast because I don’t like working with huge casts, and there was Equus by Peter Shaffer, Amadeus by Peter Shaffer, and I thought maybe they’re too big, and by chance I looked at The Compleat Works of Wllm Shkspr (abridged), picked that up, read it again and I thought ‘I can do it’. It’s simple, with a minimalistic set, moneywise it doesn’t cost much and so I thought that would be the easiest choice to go for and it’s a great experience to be honest. I am actually really glad I picked that one. George: You mentioned cast, so why Niall, Suzie and Ieuan? Barrie: It was an easy decision for those three, because they have such a presence, especially Niall whose comic timing is amazing, so that’s why we picked him. As for Suzie and Ieuan, they work so well together! We had them for a group reading and they impressed us with their skill. They’re really fun to work with. George: Are you thinking of doing something 100% original in the future? Barrie: Yes. Absolutely! George: What would you go for? Barrie: I’d love to do a murder mystery. I read a short one a couple years ago and that started me off on it. And there’s mime as well; a mime I saw in France which pushed me to connect the two perhaps. A murder mystery and mime. That would be something.

George Gäneart: Why Aberystwyth? Barrie Stott: I don’t know to be honest. It was one of those crazy decisions. My college counselor gave me the prospectus for Aberystwyth, I looked at the town on google maps and then I came here for a visiting day. George: From? Barrie: From Malta. And I came here for five days, stayed in the town and the vast range of equipment the Department has impressed me and I thought I could see myself living here. So I did. I came here. George: Why drama? Barrie: An impossible question to answer in few words… I had a real self-confidence problem when I was young and I got the choice to do drama. Originally I was going to do computer studies; I had ticked computer studies on my form and at the last minute, after my parents had signed my form, I just quickly I thank Barrie and wish him good luck. He’s preparing changed it to drama. to go back to the rehearsal when we see Niall and Sam, George: After they signed it… the live musician, jumping out of a bush. Good thing Barrie: After they signed it. Because I knew Barrie spoke highly of his cast. they’d have objected otherwise. And starting from Interviewed by George Gäneart

Make up Now why do we hide who ever we are, in layers of paint and extensions of what we are Is what we have not enough for show But why do we do it, for ourselves or for others. If it’s for others, to be noticed to be seen Then do we not just do it for ourselves to make us feel liked and loved, If we do it for ourselves what is the point for others to see What’s Mine by Tami Dončić Us with a mask of make-believe

Look Another day A busy Street Filled with busy people Going about their own business A car horn Footsteps Murmurs of conversations Light breaking through the clouds Birds making their call Wind blowing A break in the crowd A girl She walks closer A smile She walks past A busy Street Another day A busy Street By Ieuan Jenkins

Life's a beach by Claire Waterfield The Pier by Barrie Stott


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