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Editor’s Message Hello Community, Were you aware that a child is abducted every 40 seconds in this country? Moreover, did you know that over 40% of these children are African American? If not, you are not alone because few people are aware of this epidemic. The truth is that African American children receive limited media coverage when they go missing. Sadly, without this exposure it is less likely that they will be safely found. The staff at Peas In Their Pods works diligently to spread awareness about this issue by alerting media outlets as needed when African American children are missing or abducted. Our mission is to make communities aware of the plight of these children, and to make them a national priority. Since its inception in March of 2007, Peas In Their Pods has garnered a lot of attention from radio shows, newspapers, and magazines. The momentum is definitely growing. However, your help is needed to help find these missing children. We ask everyone to help us in this crusade, because..It's Everyone's Job To Save Our Children!!!
To all the supporters who have wrote in, called, e-mailed, linked up with the Peas In Their Pods Organization website, the organization thank you for helping to make this mission a priority when it comes to the children. Everyday stories of children who are being abducted continue to rise at alarming rates. Your continued support is always valuable. This is the 5th edition highlighting children, young adults who are still missing along with resources for support, encouragement, parenting. It still takes a village‌!!! Sincerely,
Denise Bethune, Editor-In-Chief Whitesboro, New Jersey www.peasintheirpods.com hfmbc@hotmail.com
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HASSANI CAMPBELL Case Type: Lost, Injured, Missing DOB: Sep 24, 2003 Sex: Male Missing Date: Aug 10, 2009 Race: Black Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Age Now: 5 Height: 3'0" (91 cm) Weight: 40 lbs (18 kg) Missing City: OAKLAND Missing State : CA Missing Country: United States Circumstances: He was last seen on August 10, 2009 at approximately 4:15p.m. Hassani was last seen wearing a gray sweatshirt and gray pants. He wears braces on his ankles. Oakland Police Department (California) 1-510-777-3333
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CLEASHINDRA DENISE HALL Case Type: Endangered Missing DOB: Mar 30, 1976 Sex: Female Missing Date: May 9, 1994 Race: Black Age Now: 33 Height: 5'9" (175 cm) Weight: 120 lbs (54 kg) Missing City: PINE BLUFF Missing State : AR Missing Country: United States Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Brown Case Number: USAR15 Circumstances: Cleashindra was last seen at approximately 10:30pm on May 9, 1994. She was wearing a two piece short set with navy blue stripes and polka dots, white cosk, and white tennis shoes. She has a surgical scar behind her right knee and one of her front teeth is slightly chipped. ANYONE HAVING INFORMATION SHOULD CONTACT Arkansas Missing Children Services ProgramOffice of the Attorney General 323 Center St., Ste. 200 Little Rock, AR 72201 501-6821020 or 1-800-448-3014 Pine Bluff Police Department 501-5435100
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PARENTING CORNER Gaétane is a certified School Psychologist who works closely with the inner-city youth and their parents. She is an advocate of children’s rights and strives to help parent achieve healthy, harmonious, and emotionally stable environments for their children. She is a sought after media consultant, and often featured in print, radio, and television. Gaetane President of PEAS.
Dating Violence Recently, the nation was stunned when two of today’s hottest and promising stars were involved in an act of domestic violence. Chris Brown and Rihanna were in a car on the eve of the Grammy’s when, according to reports, Chris hit, choked, and bit Rihanna. The world saw first hand her bruised and swollen face when a photo was leaked to the public. What’s most saddening about this incident is that both Rihanna and Chris are barely 21 years old. Who would think that teenagers would be involved in domestic violence? Well….the answer may surprise you. According to research, 33% of teens report experiencing some kind of abuse in the United States alone. Females ages 16 to 24 experience the highest rates of any age group, research shows.Teen dating abuse is like domestic violence in adults in that it also is a pattern of abusive behavior used to control another person. As with adults, abuse can be emotional, sexual, or physical. Typically teens do not have the experience or maturity to recognize that they are involved in an abusive relationship. They often have a “romantic” view of love, and want so much to be independent that they may not tell their parents what is happening to them. That is why parents have to be very aware any and all possible signs that abuse may be occurring. Here are some clues that indicate a teenager may be experiencing dating violence: •
There are physical signs of injury
•
Truancy; sudden decline in academic performance
•
Changes in mood or personality
•
Use of drugs/alcohol
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Isolation
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Pregnancy
•
Has a sudden change in the way he dresses or looks
Stops hanging out with friends, and starts spending all free time with the romantic partner. It is important to address your concerns with your teen if you notice any of these behaviors. Unfortunately, without help, the violence will only get worse. Therefore, make certain to intervene and provide emotional support. Listen, don't judge, and try to assess how your teen feels about the situation. Next, contact a local domestic violence organization, as they often provide group therapy sessions.5 But whatever avenue you chose, make sure to take it seriously because your teen’s life and well-being depends on it. Happy Parenting,
Unidentified Female
The victim was discovered on November 23, 2008 State of Remains: Partially Decomposed
Vital Statistics Estimated age: 15-21 years old (+/Weight: 5'1" (+/- 3 inches); 110-135 lbs.
Distinguishing Characteristics: Her race may be W that she also may be of Hispanic, Asian or Native A blonde hair, 12-14 inches long, with some color va
The victim may have been knock-kneed or pigeonClothing: Black strapless top with pink trim and a pink bow that tied in th Wrist bracelet having pendants; wearing dark band similar to hair tie on Case History
The victim was found in a secluded, wooded area in rural Fond Du Lac C 2008. The location is approximately half way between Fond Du Lac and
Investigators If you have any information about this case please contac Detective Gerry Kane 920-929-3388 or Detective Cameron McGee 920 mous when submitting information.
Agency Case Number: 08-15891 NCMEC #: NCMU1115220 NCIC Nu agency with information regarding this case.
6 Source Information: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children Na
8, in Fond Du Lac County, Wisconsin
- 2 years) Approximate Height and
White, however anthropology suggests American descent. Light brown to dark ariation light to dark.
-toed based on anthropological exam. he back (shown); blue jeans. Jewelry: right wrist.
County, Wisconsin on November 23, d Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
ct: Fond Du Lac County Sheriff’s Office 0-929-3383 You may remain anony-
umber: U-440018199 Please refer to this number when contacting any
amUs
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Motivational Corner
Not far…... When I open my eyes in the morning I don’t have to look far for you, you’re opening them for me….. Then I hear every sound that’s all around me, I don’t have to look far for you, your still there with every breath I take, I don’t have to think about what limbs I have to use to get up because you already have them ready with every move I make…... In the morning, from a nights sleep, you have already fixed it in my mind, my eyes, ears, nose that I breathe, my mouth you have already fix to open and the rest of my limbs you fix before I open my eyes, which lets me know I don’t have to look very far, you are right here…... When I wake keeping my heart beating with every breathe, I don’t have to look far for you, you are right here covering me thru the night, keeping me, holding me for another day, so I really know you are not far, but right here……..
Mrs. Marie Bethune 74 years young
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TRISTEN ALAN MYERS Age Progression Case Type: Non Family Abduction DOB: Jul 16, 1996 Sex: Male Missing Date: Oct 5, 2000 Race: White Hair Color: Blonde Eye Color: Blue Age Now: 13 Height: 3'1" (94 cm) Weight: 38 lbs (17 kg) Missing State : NC Missing City: ROSEBORO Missing Country: United States Case Number: NCMC897039 Circumstances: Tristen's photo is shown age-progressed to 11 years. He was last seen walking near his home and may have been walking with a tan Chihuahua and a black Doberman. The dogs were subsequently located. At the time of his disappearance, Tristen was wearing a black T-shirt, blue jeans, and white tennis shoes. He has a scar on the left side of his neck. His full name is Tristen Alan Myers but he uses the nickname "Buddy". He may be in need of medical attention. ANYONE HAVING INFORMATION SHOULD CONTACT National Center for Missing & Exploited Children 1-800-843-5678 (1-800-THE-LOST) Sampson County Sheriff's Office (North Carolina) - 1-910-592-4141 9
Missing
Disti
Details: Santos was placed in a foster home in the 100 block of Eastern Avenue in and Yolanda I. Castillo. His biological mother was homeless and frequently left h His biological father was seeking custody of him when he disappeared. Santos wa
His foster parents did not report him missing for two days. Yolanda claimed her h she left Santos and two other foster children, aged 2 and 3, in the house alone betw away to pick up her two biological children. When Yolanda returned, Santos was baby's disappearance. The last person besides Yolanda to see the baby was the Ca 5, but left the house before Santos disappeared.
After Santos was reported missing, the Castillos' other foster children were imme Services. Six weeks later, their biological children were also removed, though the had cared for 51 foster children since 1993. Multiple reports of neglect and abuse counts were substantiated at the time. Both Jose and Yolanda have refused to coop record in his native Puerto Rico. In 1999, he was charged with sexually assaulting mer foster children. Authorities stated the sex abuse allegations came to light whe assaulting one of his former foster daughters and was sentenced to term of five to
In October 1999, police received information that Santos's remains were buried o They searched the area and found torn baby clothing, a diaper and some pieces of indication of human remains was located, and laboratory analysis of the items loc
Authorities stated there were inconsistencies in the Castillos' story. Although there tos's disappearance as a possible homicide. His biological parents have both been 10
Marlon Santos
Since: November 5, 1998 from Worcester, Massachusetts Date of Birth: June 5, 1998 Age: 5 months old inguishing Characteristics: Hispanic male. Brown hair.
n Worcester, Massachuetts in August 1998; his caregivers were Jose M. Castillo him with others for days at a time, and Santos tested positive for drugs at birth. as last seen at his foster home on November 5, 1998.
husband was on a day trip in New York on the day Santos disappeared. She said ween 1:00 and 2:00 p.m., while she drove to East Middle School eight miles gone. She drove to New York to pick up Jose before she notified police of the astillos' seventeen-year-old biological child, who saw him at noon on November
ediately removed from their home by the Massachusetts Department of Social ey were later turned to the home. The Castillos were both ministers in 1998 and e were made against them prior to Santos's disappearance, but none of the acperate with the police in Santos's disappearance. Jose has an extensive criminal g three female children, one of them his stepdaughter and the other two his foren they were investigating Santos's disappearance. In 2000, Jose was convicted of o seven and a half years in prison.
on the banks of the Wachusett Reservoir off Route 70 in Boylston, Massachusetts. f plastic. They believe the baby's body may have been wrapped in the plastic. No cated did not turn up any clues, such as hair, blood or other body fluids.
e are rumors that the child was sold in New York, police are investigating Sann ruled out as suspects in his case, which remains unsolved. 11
Ryze N’Shyne LLP
Today, we are asking you to take a few moments of your time to meet Ryze N’ Shyne, LLP. You will not be disappointed. We will introduce you to something exciting, creative and new Ryze N’ Shyne is a company whose primary goal is providing media and apparel that has be missing from the market for far to long. Ryze N’ Shyne, LLP was founded in 2007 by Dani Bennett, Kecia Hayes and Lydia Kelow. We founded Ryze N’ Shyne with the goal of creatin producing positive media and apparel for young girls of color, something that we believe is missing in mainstream children’s entertainment. While our target audience is young girls of it is our hope and goal to touch everyone with our story.
We came together to form Ryze N’ Shyne after Daniel noticed his daughter, Justyce, would select female characters of colorwhen playing video games, shopping for books and apparel when watching television. When Daniel spoke with his daughter about his observations, Justyce said "Dad there are no good female or black characters to choose." Daniel contacted family members and friends about his conversation with Justyce and found many parents we having the same exper iences. Their children too noticed the lack of central characters of col TV programming and video games, and were hesitant to choose characters that looked like themselves. As a result of those conversations, Daniel promised his daughter that he would c up with something she could be proud of and love.
Daniel began to envision what a positive girl of color characters would look like, and he turn wanted to offer girls products that are strong, independent, and which avoid the overly sexua ming. We wanted to provide girls of color with characters that encourage a positive self-ima women and girls of color being used as "exotic" ad-ons for entertainment purposes and repla mind that we brought Supreme Justyce to life.
Supreme Justyce is an American story told through the eyes and experiences of five strong, dom about what is beautiful. These girls fight for the rights of all girls to be happy and prou ping, competing in martial arts, reading, painting and break dancing. The Supreme Justyce t where.
The tween market is saturated with products that do not represent our children’s diverse face appropriate or are based on harmful stereotypes. Supreme Justyce is the answer to what the need to feel accepted, and falling short of the accepted images a girl sees on TV can be deva not involve changing our children; rather, it involves expanding what are children are expos OK to be exactly who they are. Take a moment to meet Supreme Justyce and acquaint yours selves, and ask how you can be involved in12supportour important work. http://supremejustyc They are made to stand out.
w. een el ng and s f color,
never l, or
d ere lor in
come
ned to Lydia and Kecia to help bring that vision to life. Together, we determined that we alized and stereotypical depictions that are so prevalent in today’s mainstream programage without taking away fun and adventure. We are striving to erase the current images of ace them with images of strong powerful and confident characters. It is with these goals in
clever and exceptional young "sheros," as they join together to challenge conventional wisd to be themselves just as they are. Supreme Justyce enjoys their time skateboarding, rapteam doesn’t just talk about what needs to be done; they take action the name of girls every-
es and interests. In addition, many of the products marketed to girls of color are not agetween market is missing: positive, age appropriate images of girls of color. Every girl has a astating to a girl’s self image. Ryze N. Shyne believes that the solution to this problem does sed to. Ryze N. Shyne is looking for the opportunity to break the mold and show girls it is self with Ryze N. Shyne LLP. See how we are working to help young girls embrace themce.com/sjminis.html At Ryze N. Shyne, we believe girls of color weren’t made to fit in. 13
By KAREN DAILY
Few days have gone by that Lt. Becky Edmonds hasn't thought about one of her missing. It's been 20 years since Friday, Aug. 11, 1989, the day Cheatham left he tors know she had gotten as far as a telephone booth off the two-lane roadway be
Edmonds said she remembers searching for the little girl, going door-to-door and neighborhood. Volunteers helped search the woods, and detectives launched an "... But nothing," Edmonds reflected.
Two decades later, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCM age-progressed photo of Cheatham and what she may look like at 27. The NCM public's help locating Cheatham as part of the 20th anniversary of her disappeara any information to call the national organization.
Aiken County Sheriff's Office investigators said they investigated a truck driver area the day she went missing; detectives learned later that he had a history of cr He was given a speeding citation, but he was never charged with anything having disappearance. No one was.
An investigator with the juvenile division at the sheriff's office at the time, Edmo only about a week after the disappearance. She said there was an initial investiga thing humanly possible to find her," Edmonds said. "We never found anything." for details that another deputy may have missed.
Capt. Troy Elwell said he personally has looked over the file. "We have had seve thing," Elwell said. "We never had any good leads." The last person who saw Ch monds said she still communicates on occasion with Cheatham's aunt. The two t quickly," Edmonds reflected on the two decades that have passed. "But I still thin asked thousands of questions looking for an answer but never got any. But it has
Anyone with information is asked to 14call 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678). C Daily at kdaily@aikenstandard.com
early missing children cases - the day that 8-year-old Tilwana Cheatham went er Balltown home off S.C. Highway 19 with money for ice cream. Investigaefore she disappeared but have few other details.
d canvassing the immediate investigation.
MEC) has released an MEC is asking for the ance, urging anyone with
who came through the rimes against children. g to do with the girl's
onds received the case ator assigned to the case, but then it was turned over to her.. "We did everyOther deputies at the sheriff's office have received the file since then, looking
eral investigators look over this in the past several eras, looking for someheatham was a passer-by who noticed the 70-pound, 4-foot-tall little girl. Edtalk about a number of things, including Cheatham. "Things go by in life so nk about that child." She said she never assumed Cheatham had died and sn't stopped investigators from trying. The case is still open.
Calls are kept confidential and may be made anonymously. Contact Karen 15
MOTHERS ARE VANISHING
In almost every missing person case I have researched referring her children!” Good mothers don't just up and leave their childr Yes, there are some cases where there is an anomaly to this fact her children to fend for themselves. It's not the norm.
How many times have we heard this when faced with police an anything differently if there is no body and no hard evidence of Every single one of the vanishing mother cases I have featured her children!"
Then we must think about the children. The headlines and new person and her last movements. Sometimes a blurb will be don speculation about her and her life and what could cause her to l her and her lifestyle.
Many of these cases are never solved and there are thousands of children growing up, or grown, without th gotten to know a couple quite well. There is a common thread woven into their very souls, and that is the As time marches on and there are no resolutions, these children are left with a huge void in their lives and to numb the pain, eventually leaving them with a whole new set of problems to deal with. Some of them f come after them may have better systems in place to help them.
Their grief never ends. It’s a daily torture for these children no matter what age they were when she vanis that, in most cases, took their mother out of their lives. Where do they turn for support?
While there seems to be many organizations available for adults to interact with others who are going thro and young adults. This interaction with others seems to be a healthy outlet, allowing people to know that backgrounds. Other than private, expensive therapies and counseling, where can these forgotten children for them.
What can we do for them? Reach out and care. Let them talk, and listen. Guide them lovingly. Be there. mean so much to their well being. Some will lose themselves anyway, but be there, be there to help pick u find professional help if needed and available to them.
As Peace4 the Missing was created to be a haven for family members of the missing to find solace and sup those “left behind” children to communicate with each other. We feel this is an important outreach and ou perience along with those who have caring hearts, to make this a reality. We hope that by collaborating w find comfort and peace.
Delilah ImaginePublicity marketing.promotions.publicity http://imaginepublicity.com
Albert Einstein: Imagination is m For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understa 16
g to a missing mother, these words are spoken by someone close to the victim, “She would NEVER leave ren without knowing that they are in a safe place and able to be taken care of. That is a fact. t, but there are usually other circumstances involved allowing that the mother just walked away, leaving
nd investigators saying the person probably just walked away to start a new life? How can anyone prove f foul play? The mother is gone without a trace and she didn't even say goodbye to her children! on my blog, Mothers Are Vanishing, shouts that statement again and again.... "She would NEVER leave
ws articles, if this missing mother makes the news, will be informing us, and rightly so, about the missing ne about how many children she had and their ages, something about her spouse or boyfriend, and much leave. If this mother is lucky enough to become a “high profile” case then much scrutiny will be given to
he tender care of the mother who gave them life. I’ve met a few of them, corresponded with some, and ey deserve to know the truth, the “not knowing” is living the worst nightmare for them. d they cross paths over which they have no control. Some of them spiral downward into whatever it takes find positive ways to do battle with the forces that led to their mother’s demise, so that those who will
shed or what age they are now. These children are the true victims that are left behind by circumstances
ough the same situation, there is very little available for children, teens, they are not suffering alone, that there are others with similar stories and receive help? I ask the question as I am looking for an answer, asking
It sounds so simple, and yet, in my experiences, these simple gestures up the pieces of a shattered life, guide them to a place where they can
pport, we are looking into the possibility of forming a private Group for ur hope is to combine our efforts with those who have professional exwith others we can create the place, at least online, that these children can
http://peace4missing.ning.com http://mothersarevanishing.blogspot.com
more important than knowledge. 17 and, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create.
TINESHIA RENE JACKSON Age Progression Case Type: Endangered Missing DOB: Jul 21, 1981 Sex: Female Missing Date: Mar 2, 1998 Race: Black Age Now: 28 Height: 5'1" (155 cm) Weight: 155 lbs (70 kg) Missing City: WEST COVINA Missing State : CA Missing Country: United States Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Circumstances: Tineshia's photo is shown age-progressed to 22 years. She was last known to be in the company of a male acquaintance who has since been found deceased. She has a tattoo of her name on her chest and a tattoo of a rose on her left thigh. West Covina Police Department (California) 1-626-939-8585
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“The Battle is Not Yours" Early one Sunday morning while I lie in bed, thinking over my life and all that I have gone through, I began wondering "how could this have been my life?" My spirit was heavy with all of the thoughts roaming through my mind so I rolled out of bed to walk the house, something that I generally do when my mind is heavy, and I began checking on everyone. I watched my family as they slept, praying that their slumber was peaceful. I began to talk to God and ask the question, "why does it seem as though all those who seek me out to hurt me seem to accomplish just that?" Sure it is said that one should never question God, yet I feel that my relationship with Him is one as my best friend, someone I can look to for answers and advice. My spirit began to soar with the word, "The Battle is Not Yours". Now mind you, these are words that I have heard my entire life and never fully understood, especially considering the fact that I once was the type of person, that felt like what someone does to me would be done in return three times over. My mind flooded with all of the things that I wanted to pour my heart on, not as though He didn't already know my burdens, but so that I could let them all out. The more I prayed the more the words began to flow and I came to a final conclusion. We have all gone through life wondering how it is that we are shattered and broken by things that people do to torment us, whether it be in the past or things here in the present, but what comes to mind is that in spite of it all, "The Battle is Not Yours...It is the Lord's." Much Love & God Bless, Paula Whitebear-Burton Warrior's For Christ (W.F.C) Founder & Coordinator
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God’s Special Task By Abigail Lurae
The Dream)Inside the church with it's tall hand carved arches inlaid with golden leaves, the sunshine filte dabbed his fingertips in the basin of holy water that had been placed upon an alter. He extended his hand
Suddenly from out of nowhere, brilliant flames of red, orange, and yellow shot up from the innocent face of candles. "Demon child! Demon child," he screamed in a high pitched keening as he jerked his hand ba and spun around while screaming continuously until all at once- silence. It was then she woke from her s her womb. Not understanding it's meaning, she tried to shove it out of her thoughts, "demon child, demon do, the dream would not go away and her soul felt much like it had been set on fire- just like the priest wh months later her son was born. The birth was more painful than what she had experienced with her other a hollow spot, one that she prayed would no longer hurt. Images of a demon's face played in her mind un
Soon though, all fears of that horrible nightmare passed and she enjoyed being a mother to her child. He w as he grew. At fourteen months of age, a change came about, and the dream that had silenced itself in he Toys would become weapons in his tiny little hands as he would take aim, then throw with such unusual would strike with such a force that she would cry out in pain and he would laugh- such a hideous laugh. " lieve it. His behavior was continuously becoming worse as each new development of his childhood bloom
When he turned four years old, not only was he potentially dangerous to himself, but was deadly dangero his favorite "no-no's". Learning to move and duck rather quickly became habit, and the sense that she wa quired at all times. Her kitchen soon became a fortress with locks placed on every cupboard door as well lock were where her towels and dishrags lay hap-hazard from him happily tossing them out on the floor. S just stuff them back in their rightful place. The refrigerator too, soon took on a bright red bungee cord aro and locked away- only one was used and then hidden to keep him from being tempted to turn it on and hu
She had put him in the Head Start program through the school that year, then hoped and prayed this envir fell on her and her parenting skills. So many times she had been called into the school for a conference ab She took him to the doctor to see what was the matter with him, and the doctor only stated, "you have an child," her mind whispered again. She was beginning to think it were true. Continuing her search to find "normal," was very taxing on the whole family, not to mention finances. All she encountered was, "he's fi said that her son definitely displayed problematic behaviors, but nothing could be done for him until he w cit Hyperactivity Disorder), but in the meantime, she just had to grin and bear with it. Going and talking there was hope for him in the future. It had a name and it wasn't any longer, "Demon child."
A lot of parents whom have, “Special Needs,� kids, feel like they were cursed for something they had don felt for a long time. However, I was blessed with God putting an angel in my life whom became my frien trusts these special souls with special people to take care of them for Him. You were chosen by God for s cause my son has gone from ADHD to ODD, (Oppositional Defiant Disorder,) to Schizophrenia with AD years. I will say one thing though, God has been with us every step of the way and has taught me to utiliz ier as I think maturity is starting to blossom a little bit more. My son loves the Lord and tries his hardest t with being the caretaker of this wonderful soul. 20
"Taking a Walk Through Abby's World"- (I'm now blogging) http://abigaillurae.blogspot.com/ A Abigail's Personal Interactive Social Networking site: http://www.booknerdparadise.ning.com
ered through the stained glass image of Mother Mary, then gently caressed the infant's cheek. The priest to mark the baptism with the sign of the cross upon the baby's forehead. All was calm… all was peaceful.
e of the child, causing the priest's hand to burn as if it were made of wax and his fingertips were the wicks ack while the flames continued upward to consume his arm- then his entire being as he reeled backwards sleep, shaking from the nightmare. (Reality)This dream occurred in the fifth month of the child being in n child," her mind whispered. "No," she whispered back, "t'was only a dream." No matter what she tried to ho had been consumed by the flames. "Demon child, demon child," her mind continued to whisper. Four children, who were now full grown. It felt as if her insides were being torn and ripped apart, only to leave ntil he was placed in her arms and she saw his sweet innocent face.
was such a good baby and would play quietly in his crib. His development seemed normal and on target er mind, reared its ugly head once more, but this time the meaning behind it became crystal clear to her. accuracy for his age. All the while, the gleam of an evil entity could be seen in his eyes. The objects "Demon child, demon child," the voice in her mind whispered as she sobbed but- she didn't want to bemed and she was worried.
ous to others around him. Nothing could be put high enough away from him or his sight. Knives became as not alone in a room caused her to not stay in one spot for very long at a time. Constant motion was reas the drawers where the silverware was kept. The only two drawers that didn’t require the restriction of a She didn’t have the time to refold them after she picked them up as he was into something else so she’d ound it with the hooks placed in the back beyond his reach. The knobs on her stove had to be pulled off urt himself.
ronment would help him settle down some. It didn't… His behaviors were questionable, and the reflection bout what her son had done to another child or how he would not focus and try to learn or stay in his seat. active child, it's normal behavior for this age." Normal behavior? She thought not! "Demon child, demon d other doctors, specialists, anyone who could help her understand why his behavior was considered ine, just an overly active child." Finally when she was ready to give up, she encountered a doctor who was six years old. With extensive testing, this doctor diagnosed her son as having ADHD, (Attention Defiwith his teachers, she managed to get it across to them that he didn't learn his behaviors at home, and that
ne in their life because the behaviors can get extremely hard to deal with. I know, because this is the way I nd and told me like it was. She told me, “now get over yourself! God has special children and He only ensuch a task.” Every now and then, I have to keep reminding myself of what my friend had told me beDHD and finally, Severely Bipolar with ADHD. We have been through the paces with him all of these ze love, patience and understanding for this precious, “special” child. Our days are getting easier and easto do what is right. For all of the hard work that has gone into his upbringing, I have been truly blessed 21
Author Webpage: http://www.filedby.com/author/abigail_lurae/2910717/
LAMOINE JORDAN ALLEN Age Progression Case Type: Non Family Abduction DOB: Jul 23, 1989 Sex: Male Missing Date: May 10, 1992 Race: Black Age Now: 20 Height: 2'11" (89 cm) Weight: 35 lbs (16 kg) Missing City: WOODVILLE Missing State : MS Missing Country: United States Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Brown Circumstances: Child's photo is shown ageprogressed to 19 years. He was last seen playing near a grocery store located 4 miles east of Woodville on Highway 24. He was with a 3 year old girl, Kreneice Jones, who is also missing. He has a scar on his left knee. He was last seen wearing a blue and black Hawaiian shirt, blue shorts and black sandals.
Age Progression 22
KRENEICE JONES Age Progression Case Type: Endangered Missing DOB: Nov 30, 1988 Sex: Female Missing Date: May 10, 1992 Race: Black Age Now: 20 Height: 2'11" (89 cm) Weight: 33lbs (15kg) Missing City: WOODVILLE Missing State : MS Missing Country: United States Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Circumstances: Kreneice's photo is shown age-progressed to 14 years. She was last seen near a grocery store 4 miles east of Woodville on Highway 24. She was with a 2 year old boy, LaMoine Allen, who is also missing. They are both considered at risk. She has a scar in front of her right ear and was last seen wearing a multi-color one-piece shorts outfit with a black and white polka-dot tie and pink slipper sandals. National Center for Missing & Exploited Children 1-800-843-5678 (1-800-THELOST) Federal Bureau of Investigation (McComb, Mississippi) 23
Lif Rev. Ora Stearns Smith you com ful, amazing, incredible and only son, wh into law enforcement. All his studying; thought of a daughter-in-law never to know Darling Lord & Savior. How could I ever
I can do all things though Christ Who stre rubber meets the road. Did I really believ Word? Again I say, life has a marvelous w of my life, it proved that I really did belie that I would not debate the Word of God, b by it. And how well I knew that the Word clearly stated that I must forgiv commands anything of us, He empowers us to obey that command.
I was empowered to forgive. I was empowered to love. I knew that. The by the Holy Ghost. Wow! That means I have the ability to love others eve mindboggling. Even flesh-rejecting. But true nonetheless. And so, I choo inside of me and simply love. I choose to honor the One Who has honored known as His Ambassador of Love.
We always have a choice. We can choose to love or to hate. To forgive or curl up and die. I choose to live God's Way. Because I am so grateful and . even before the very foundation of the world! And I am forever thankful value of every soul and the length and height, depth and breadth that He w He has loved me, then I must forgive as He has forgiven me. Oh, forgiven to be useful for my Master. It enables me to be a vessel of honor. Yes, I a
My God has been with me every step of the way. And I know that withou been consumed ages ago! But yet I24am alive and have been given the assi geous, unconditional, non-negotiable love of our King! Much Love & Su
out of the ashes . To Reign in the Kingdom!
fe has a marvelous way of proving to you what is resident on the inside of u. So many people have asked me in total disbe lief how I am able to mpletely forgive the young men who murdered my only son. My beauty ho had just received his Masters in Criminal Justice and was waiting to go all those dreams; all that untapped, unreleased potential. And the w, my son's children never to hold, never to pour into, or introduce to my r forgive them? How could I?
engthens me. I had said that almost daily for years on end. But now the ve that Word or was this just Christian-jargon and I was only parroting the way of proving what is really in you. And in one of the darkest moments eve. You see, I had determined long, long ago and settled it for myself but would believe it with everything in me. I would walk in it and live ve. I must love. And one thing that I absolutely know is this: If God
e Word says that the very love of God has been shed abroad in our hearts en as my Darling Savior has loved me. And that's extraordinary and ose to release His gift of unconditional love that He has desposited on the d me by loving those He died for. I choose to glorify Him. I choose to be
r not to forgive. To be better or stay bitter. To live the life given us or to d so indescribably thankful that Jesus chose me as one of His very own . . l that He has opened up my eyes and enlarged my heart to see the true went through just to save one precious soul! And if I am to love others as ness is an immeasurable gift to my own self. It frees me. It empowers me am thankful!
ut His Righteous Hand upon me, and His Word in me, well, I would have ignment to demonstrate the preeminence 25 of His Kingdom and the outra-
urpassing Peace, Ora International Empowering Women to Rise http://www.OraIntl.org
http://www.DivinelyFramed.com
ROSA MARIE CAMACHO Age Progression Case Type: Endangered Missing DOB: Jun 7, 1993 Sex: Female Missing Date: Oct 24, 1997 Race: Hispanic Age Now: 16 Height: 3'0" (91 cm) Weight: 38LBS (17kg) Missing City: HARTFORD Missing State: CT Missing Country: United States Hair Color: Lt. Brown Eye Color: Brown Case Number: NCMC840827 Circumstances: Rosa's photo is shown ageprogressed to 16 years. She was last seen with her mother leaving a store in the Hartford, Connecticut area on October 24, 1997. Rosa Delgado, the child's mother, has since been found deceased but Rosa is still missing. ANYONE HAVING INFORMATION SHOULD CONTACT National Center for Missing & Exploited Children 1-800-843-5678 (1-800-THELOST) Hartford Police Department (Connecticut) - 1-860-527-6300 26
DENIESE HIRAMAN Age Progression Case Type: Endangered Missing DOB: Oct 6, 1985 Sex: Female Missing Date: Aug 27, 1999 Race: Asian Age Now: 23 Height: 5'3" (160 cm) Weight: 90 lbs (41 kg) Missing City: QUEENS Missing State: NY Missing Country: United States Hair Color: Brown Eye Color: Brown Case Number: NCMC876542 Circumstances: Deniese's photo is shown ageprogressed to 19 years. She was last seen leaving for school on the morning of August 27, 1999. She has a scar on her right forearm.
ANYONE HAVING INFORMATION SHOULD CONTACT National Center for Missing & Exploited Children 1-800-843-5678 (1-800-THE-LOST) New York City Police Department (New York) 1-212-473-2042
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An i HalleluYAH, It’s Harvest Time! love cont Jill St. James depe twee (Gentiles). The Messianic Jews wanted to continue followi the message of freedom from the law through faith in Mess tions and false teachings. This should not be! It’s time to u and by sharing His love with people who don’t know Him. ment by “so-called” Christians. What they experience is cal right relationship with God throught the love of Jesus, and above Scripture, we notice NINE characteristics in the fruit giving. Harvest means, the time of year when matured grain, fruit, vegetables, (an Spirit, we must make sure that each of them is fully operating in our lives.
Love – It’s the greatest command that we should willingly follow. “My command this, that he lay down his life for his friends. Joy – Goes beyond happiness. “Let
before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand o of doubt that God is in complete control/no worries. “Therefore, having been justi 5:1 Patience (longsuffering) – The ability to wait or endure without complaint. patience and longsuffering with joyfulness. Colossians 1:11 Kindness – Being c kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the powe rinthians 6:6-7 Goodness – Purity in thoughts, words and actions. “Therefore w and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power… require proof or evidence. “O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise y planned long ago.” Isaiah 25:1 Gentleness (meekness) – Easy going or serene. Self-control (temperance) – Restraint of emotions, actions and/or words. “For ness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseveranc brotherly kindness, love.” 2 Peter 1:5-7
*YAH is the abbreviation of Yahweh, the Hebrew name of God
try, and author of the Urban Christian novel, God’s Love, and th 28 for new Believers. Next Edition: More Of “Its Harvest Time”
important word for this season as 09/09/09 dawns: But the fruit of the Spirit is e, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and selftrol…” Galatians 5:22, 23 Paul’s letter to the people of Galatia was a reminder to end solely upon Jesus for salvation, because there was a growing division been the Messianic Jews (Jewish Believers) and the non-Jewish Believers ing the laws and rituals of the old covenant. Paul was charged to unify them with siah, Jesus.Today, Jesus’ followers are greatly divided by denominations, tradiunite as one body of Believers through faith in the Lord, by studying Scriptures, Many people have fallen away from the truth of the Savior because of mistreatlled, “Church hurt.” It’s up to all faithful Believers to restore those people to to bring in the soul harvest for the Kingdom, as led by the Holy Spirit. In the t of the Spirit. Nine represents harvest, manifestation, birthing, or time of thanksnd in our case, souls) are reaped and gathered in. As we look at the fruit of the
d is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2 NIV Peace – Knowing beyond a shadow ified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ…” Romans . “We are strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all courteous or friendly. “We should live in purity, understanding, patience and er of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left.” 2 Cowe also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, …” 2 Thessalonians 1:11 Faithfulness – Unquestioning belief that does not your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things . “Let your gentleness be evident to all men. The Lord is near. Philippians 4:5 r this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodce; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to
d. Jill St. James is the founder of Wings of Grace on-line minishe ministerial booklet, I’m Born Again…Now What? - A guide 29 ” http://www.wingsofgrace.ning.com
Caleta White Missing Since: August 22, 2006 from Tukwila, Washington Date of Birth: March 19, 1988 Age: 18 years old Height and Weight: 5'1, 83 - 100 pounds
Distinguishing Characteristics: African-American female. Black hair, brown eyes. White may have blue or pink highlights in her hair. Her ears are pierced and she has birthmarks on her back and abdomen. White's nickname is KK. Clothing/Jewelry Description: A yellow Adidas jacket, blue jeans, yellow sneakers or boots, and earrings. Medical Conditions: White has an unspecified eating disorder. She also suffers from asthma. Details: White was last seen in the afternoon of August 22, 2006, on Metro Bus #128. She is believed to have been en route to her boyfriend's residence in the Tukwila, Washington area at the time. She has never been heard from again. White's loved ones stated it is uncharacteristic of her to be out of touch with them. There has been no activity on her cellular phone since her disappearance; prior to going missing, she used it frequently. She had a doctor's appointment scheduled for August 24, two days after her disappearance, and missed it. Auburn, Washington police are investigating White's disappearance. She may have traveled to Tacoma, Washington after she went missing. Her case remains unsolved and foul play is suspected. 30
Jarkeius Adside Missing
Since: October 18, 2001 from Miami, Florida Date of Birth: September 30, 2000 Age: 1 year old Height and Weight: 2'0, 25 - 30 pounds
Distinguishing Characteristics: African-American male. Brown hair, brown eyes. Adside's nicknames are Keery and Kisha, and some accounts spell his first name "Jakieries." His hair was styled in cornrows when he was last seen. Clothing/Jewelry Description: A diaper and a red, white, and blue Tommy Hilfiger shirt. Medical Conditions: Adside may have been injured during his abduction and may be in need of medical attention. Details: Adside's parents were both in jail in October 2001, and he was being looked after by a babysitter, Gwendolyn Brown. Brown told police that he was abducted by three unidentified men during an early morning robbery of her home near southwest 296th Street and 158th Avenue in Miami, Florida on October 18, 2001. The robbery, she said, took place while she walking her teenage daughter to the bus stop. Upon her return home, Brown was confronted by the three armed suspects and she and her live-in boyfriend, Jeffrey Cochran, were tied up while the robbers demanded money. Brown and Cochran later heard a single gunshot. When they were able to free themselves, the house had been ransacked and Adside and several items were missing. The baby has never been seen again. The three abductors should all be considered armed and dangerous. A bloodstained mattress and sheets was found in the home after Adside's abduction. The blood was Adside's. Investigators believe he may have been severely injured or killed.Investigators have publicly expressed skepticism of Brown and Cochran's account. The couple, who both have criminal histories and were arrested after Adside's disappearance for drug offenses, did not call police for two hours after Adside's alleged abduction and had no explanation as to why. They are not being referred to as suspects in the baby's disappearance, however.Adside has never been heard from again and his abductors have not been identified. The child's case remains unsolved. 31
Meaghan Good http://www.charleyproject.org
A Clear Look At… Boundaries Und
By Pattie Fitzgera
Of all the safety insights, parenting tips and strategies in my seminars Boundaries. Sure, it’s a word that is bandied about frequently, but when establish clear boundaries and/or recognize when one is being blurred? L as individuals, separating us from others. It can be physical or personal… other person’s presence. Is someone physically “too close, or in our space their relationship with us (or our children)? A “blurry boundary” is when familiar with our children in a way that may be inappropriate or unsafe. A our kids. Recognizing and Teaching Appropriate Boundaries A physica adults, have “bathing suit areas” on our bodies that are private. Most “Bathing suit areas” on EVERYONE’s body are private. Let children kno them to let you know if someone tries. (Note: Be clear with your children and/or relatives who help take care of your children). You may say something like “It’s okay for grandm
A personal boundary is a little different. It involves understanding that there are certain rules and beha speak”: Every grownup who interacts with our children has a “job or a role” with certain rules that go a relative. Child predators and molesters often try to go above and beyond in their relationship with a child always suggesting he take your son on an overnight camping trip without you is blurring a boundary, by t rather admirable that your son’s music teacher is so “fond” of your child, ask yourself WHY is this person of list of the adults your children interact with frequently. Your child may have a Music Teacher, a Gymn Man at the park. 3. Once you have established which grownups interact with your child, you must clearl seems to want to go above and beyond the call of duty – creating an intimate relationship that seems just
For example: A Music Teacher – Their job is to teach your child music (vocal or instrumental). It is NOT jump, catch a ball, kick, etc. It is NOT their job to help dress your child, to give them a ride home alone i ice cream. You give him money; he gives you ice cream. It is NOT his job to make your child his special Again, while these seem like innocent treats, the truth is that a molester looks for ways to ingratiate them blurry boundaries. It’s what they count on to start the “grooming” process of a child, sometimes long bef to see if they can slowly go a little further in their relationship. A child predator knows they have to go s ents, is to recognize when someone may be blurring a boundary. Any activity that isn’t part of the “job d Ask yourself: “Why does Coach Jones always give my child extravagant gifts?” “Why does the Music Te adult for that matter) lavishing special treatment on my child?” “Why does Uncle Joe insist on making in
Once a parent understands how a boundary works, they can be more aware and take action if somethin member: 90% of childhood sexual abuse happens by someone the child knows, in a private setting… o propriate. Of course, there are certain nuances to teaching kids of different ages about boundaries, and teaching healthy physical and personal boundaries to your children. Boundaries : A straightforw
member: Our kids are counting on us. We owe it to them, to do our part to keep them safe. 32
For more information, or to invite Ms. Fitzgerald to your area for a safety seminar, please vi
derstanding Them, Setting Them, Reinforcing Them!
ald, founder Safely Ever After, Inc.
and workshops, the most eye-opening concept for parents often centers on a lively discussion about you get right down to it… What is Boundary? How does it keep a child safe? As a parent, how do you Let’s start at the beginning… What Is A Boundary? A boundary is a limit/a perimeter that establishes us … defined by our relationships with others. A clear boundary is one in which we feel comfortable in ane”? Are they asking personal questions or making comments that seem inappropriate or too intimate for someone’s behavior just doesn’t seem quite right, perhaps a little too good to be true, perhaps a little too As parents, it is our job to pay attention to the relationship and boundaries of others as they interact with al boundary is pretty clear-cut. With young children, begin by reinforcing the fact that all of us, kids and importantly, use the anatomically correct words for private parts. The simple rule for kids to know: ow that no one should ever try to play a “game” or touch their private parts, and that it is important for n about who may or may not be allowed to help bathe them, especially if there are nannies, babysitters, ma to give you a bath, but not.. grandma’s neighbor, or Uncle Joe, etc.”
aviors that everyone who interacts with our children with must follow. Now, to put that into “parentalong with that, whether it’s a sports coach, a music teacher, religious leader, or even a family friend or d, creating an over-familiar relationship that shouldn’t be there. For example, a music teacher who is trying to establish a private relationship that could put your son in harm’s way. While it may sound on so eager to become so close to your child, especially in a private setting. 2. Next, as the parent, make nastics or Sports Coach, a babysitter, or even a local, friendly adult service person like the Ice Cream ly define the role that this person plays in your child’s life. And then, pay attention if one of these people a little too good to be true.
T their job to take your child to the movies or on an outing. A Coach teaches sports skills – how to run, in their car after practice, or lavish them with expensive gifts. The Ice Cream Man’s job is to SELL you friend by continually giving him free ice cream, or to take your child out for a ride alone in his truck. mselves into a child’s life by appearing extra special. Child molesters look for kids AND adults with fore they actually commit an inappropriate touch or other action. It’s their way of “testing the waters” slowly, to establish a “super” relationship with you or your child before they can act. Our job as pardescription” of an adult must be evaluated and acted upon, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. eacher often suggest taking my child to a concert without me?” “Why is this Ice Cream Man (or any nappropriate comments about my daughter’s looks or body?”
ng seems out of the ordinary by limiting the “one-on-one” contact that child has with that adult. Reone-adult-with-one-child. Our boundaries function as an inner barometer of what is appropriate or inapd everything cannot be covered in just one article. However, it’s never too early to start practicing and
ward concept, but one that often surprises parents in its’ simplicity and effectiveness. Re-
isit her website:
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www.safelyeverafter.com or call 310-203-1330.
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" If I'm Your Next Victim" "You" and those like you, who makes such a beautiful place "God created called Earth" so unsafe, here's some food for thought for you today, you hide in unseen places waiting for unsuspecting faces, who are unaware of your deadly stare, how did your life get on such an evil course? Is your heart still there, do it have remorse? It's you who will die a million deaths, yet never die, because there's no room for you up high. Hell will drop lower to accommodate your rotten soul, my face is what you'll see every time your eyes close! "If I'm A child" you have taken, those of you who search for me and pray for my safety from my heart you are appreciated, yet if in their twisted mind they decide my demise, my body please don't hide, so I'm returned to those who truly love me, for once in your life, do something right! Also deliver this message to my family & friends, tell them to live life to the fullest for me and for them, and not to let an animal such as yourself take away their happiness, this poem's sadly a sign of the times, it was created in the hopes of changing minds, about committing such unthinkable crimes! I've chosen to be another voice for those who's voice has been stubbed out or silenced from your unsuspecting,undeserving and unnecessary violence! So " If I'm Your Next Victim" and I pray to "God" I'm not I pray that it means either voluntarily or forced " Your Crime Spree Has Stopped! "
Poet: Tina Marie Clark @2009 Dedicated To: The Families And Victims, of Unsolved and Solved 35
Andrea Burleigh Executive Director
Eight years ago one of the best things that came ar for par ents/ caregivers of children with emotion havioral and/or mental health challenges in Atla and Cape May counties was formed, our name is lantic Cape Family Support Organizations ACFS FSO’S are now in every county throughout the sta New Jersey. We work in partnership with Cape A I.N.K. the Care Management Organization (CMO) unique because we are Parents Supporting Parents types of crisis with their own children. We support knowledgeable decisions for their child. Our prima to have their voice heard in all decisions concerning assistance to families whose child has not reached together to become more family oriented in their a responsive and flexible to the family’s needs, creat
We believe in investing in the strengths of the fami voice to be heard for a child is the parent’s voice. The most important sup other parent who knows the struggles and fears of raising a child with menta also have a Youth Partnership piece which is an advocacy organization form or behavioral challenges. Membership is on a voluntary basis and youth mus
In Cape May County we also have a Hospital Companion service at Cape Reg come to the crisis unit for mental health screening for their child. We let the process, give them resources to follow up with & invite them to come to our write down phone numbers & contacts. The folders also are filled with pertin outside resources and of course we have snacks for the family as well. We ha welcome to call or come to one of our support groups. No referral is needed.
36
round nal, be antic s the At SO) and ate of Atlantic ) to meet the immediate and long term needs of the family. The ACFSO is s. Our staff is comprised solely of parents who have been through the same t the parent/caregiver and provide education so the family can make ary goal is to enable the parent or caregiver to advocate for their child and g their child. We also reach out to the community to help provide similar the crisis stage. We seek to encourage public and private agencies to work approach to the fam ily. We believe in a preventive approach which is more ting a more relaxed home environment for the parent and the child.
ily and the child. We feel that the most important pport that a parent can receive is the support of anal, emotional and/or behavioral challenges. The FSO’s med for and run by, youth with mental, emotional and/ st be between the ages of 13-21.
gional Hospital. We are called in when families have em know that they are not alone, explain the screening support group. We also give them a folder so they can nent information regarding screening and Rhoda Piccirilli ave two office locations and anyone is Peer Support Coordinator . Our contact information is as follows:
Atlantic County: 1601 Tilton Road, Unit 1 Northfield, NJ 08225 Phone: 609-485-0575 / Fax: 609-485-0467 Email: info@acfamsupport.org Website: www.acfamsupport.org Cape May County: 3819 New Jersey Avenue Wildwood, NJ 08261 37 Phone/ Fax: 609-729-2034 Email: info@acfamsupport.org Website: www.acfamsupport.org
Sweet Nature - by Eddie Hair Care Tips Many of us yearn for long beautiful, healthy hair, but the damage over the years may have caused our hair to be short and brittle. If this is the case for you, a hair weave may be the answer. Weaves are NOT only used to cover up damaged hair, but can be used in order to transition from relaxed hair to natural hair; used to grow out a cut, temporarily protect the hair from the elements, or to minimize or eliminate combing, brushing and using heat on your own hair for long periods of time. Whatever the reason you may chose to wear a weave; a hair weave requires careful maintenance otherwise you may feel as if you wasted a lot of money and time and if you neglect your own hair and scalp while wearing a weave, you may end up with more damage than you began with. Here are 8 tips for maintaining a weave. 1. If you plan on wearing weave for an extended period of time, be sure to get quality hair, hair that can wistand washing and regular styling without getting too matted or ratty looking. 2. Be sure to comb through the hair regularly in order to avoid excessive tangling and matting. When combing the hair, start at the ends and comb upward to the scalp. Use a semi-wide or wide tooth comb to avoid excessive stress on the hair. 3. Brush or comb the hair to cut down on tangles and massage the scalp to loosen 38 up any build up before washing. http://www.fabulousblackwoman.com
4. Washing the hair in the shower is much easier than in a sink. Be sure to use cool water on the hair and NOT hot. As the water is run ning through the hair, be sure to allow as much access as possible to the scalp. During the process finger comb the hair so that it remains as detangled as possible. 5. Instead of saturating the entire head with shampoo, focus on the scalp by massaging the shampoo carefully between the tracks. 6. Avoid using products that contain alcohol, mineral oils, and other harsh ingredients because it can greatly alter the quality of the weave including causing excessive dryness, matting and loss of shine. 7. Depending on the desired style, a weave can be wrapped at night in a satin scarf in the same way you regularly wrap your hair. It can be wrapped in a circle around the head, or maybe set with rollers, or pins; however you decide to prepare it at night, the most important element is a satin scarf or pillowcase to avoid drying the hair out. 8. Do not over due it with the styling products as it can decrease the quality of the weave, although you should definitely use some form of moisturizer in order to keep your own hair moisturized and healthy. If you follow these suggestions, a weave can be an awesome way of protecting and growing your own hair. Of course a professional is always the best way to go as they are skillfully trained and can help with the upkeep and maintenance of a weave, but if you are a do-it-yourselfer, I would suggest investing in a DVD that teaches techniques on weaving in order to be sure 39 you are giving your hair the best care possible.
How Parents Can Cope with a Child with Special Needs More topics
There a lot of things that you have to do to prepare for your child with speci with health issues. The following are tips that I have found to be helpful in b
Number one to keep everything organized especially your child's medical r medical records and paperwork you may want to put your child's paper wor
Number two is to keep up with doctors, therapists, and specialists business his doctors and I keep it in a centralized location. Or if you are savvy with te cialists. My husband keeps Justin's doctor contacts on his cell phone.
Another tip is to have a day planner. Believe me; keeping up with your child endar to keep up with your child's appointments and activities. Electronic da phone.
The fourth tip is to read and research more about your child's condition(s). F your child. The more you learn the better you can advocate for your child.
Number five is try to sign your child up for an intervention program. If your c tion program for infants and toddlers such as Babies Can't Wait in the state and toddlers. Check with your local state public health department to get mo therapies and services that they need.
The next tip is to make sure you apply for Social Security for your child. Bas eligible to receive Social Security benefits.
Number seven is to try to get your child on Medicaid as soon as possible. T getting into a pre-school with nurse care and therapy for children with speci sure you understand the side affects and monitor you child closely to see ho
Another tip is to notate any changes in your child's condition. Remember to problems arises. And the last tip is to join a local parent support group for ch
great feedback from other parents who are going through similar situations
Remember your child is a miracle and a blessing. They are fighting hard to the best care that they deserve. Having a child with special needs can be q 40 cause. Yes, they are our little heroes piness makes it worth fighting for their Written by Kimberly Ware Kimberly is an author, writer
ial needs. It can be very stressful for families when coping with a child better coping with raising a child with special needs.
records. You may want to start off with a binder. But as you collect more rk in a file cabinet.
s cards. I have a business card holder that is specifically for Justin of all of echnology, you can maintain a database on your child's doctors and spe-
d's schedule is very important. You can use a regular day planner or calay planner that you can plug that you can use on your computer or cell
Find about more about the programs and resources that are available for
child is under age three, you can sign your child up for an early intervenof Georgia. Each state should have an intervention program for infants ore information on their intervention programs so your child can get the
sed on your family's income and your child's disability, your child might be
This can help your child with medical expenses and even with the cost of ial needs. Number eight is to read up on your child's medicines to make ow they respond to new medicines.
o take notes. You can share these notes with your child doctors when any hildren with special needs. Sometimes you can get a lot of
s.
stay alive. You must keep on advocating for them to make sure they get quite challenging but seeing your child's smile and filled with joy and hap41 s.
Sometimes in life we bear our crosses and have pain that is great and we just cannot understand why me, or why us? Sometimes we have the opportunity to under stand and see the reasons that we endured the hardships presented us. When I, as a mom of a 19-year old son with multiple medical and psycho logical needs, feel very overwhelmed or begin to fall into a "why us" mode, I think of my friend *Pat. 5 years ago my friend Pat, and co-worker, was very suddenly met with the grief of losing her young father of 60 years old to a massive sudden death. Pat's father was the epitome of good health. She, along with her family were devas tated. The sudden and immediate death con sumed Pat as she was not able to say "goodbye". In the same month that her father passed away, her teenage daughter, Sara, came home from school to announce she was pregnant. Sara was a senior in high school and her baby would be a bi-racial child. Pat was then faced with the knowledge that her own daughter is not going to go away to college as planned and a new child to the home is going to be necessary as her daughter cannot support a child on her own...and she had many fears of society and how they would treat a biracial child? In the same month, only one week later, Pat and Jay's youngest daughter had an uncontrollable nosebleed and a massive headache. Their youngest, Tami, was only 7 years old. Naturally they sat worried as Tami was entered into the cat scan at the local hospital. Pat sat there and wondered how much more heartache and worry could she have in her life? How will she ever get through the grief of her lost father, the unplanned and sudden pregnancy of a teenage daughter and a possibly ill child? It was later in the day that Pat and Jay's worst fears were presented. Their beautiful Tami had terminal brain cancer. Life was so unfair and how easy it would have been to have turned to God and have hated him for "bringing" so much pain in their once happy carefree lives! Over the course of the next three years, Pat and Jay were truly blessed to have the knowledge of why the pain they've endured...had a reason. For the next three years after that awful month of heartache, life moved forward. Slowly, painfully and heartbreakingly they watched their beautiful Tami struggle to play with her new niece and to give her a bottle. They spent many days in and out of the hospital, chemotherapy and watching all the awful side effects that Tami was presented. If there was a chance of a side effect you can be sure sweet Tami was one of the unlucky percentages to have endured it. Through steroids, hair loss, chemo and all that accompanies the fight against the cancer...Tami loved her little niece Briana, and Briana loved tami and many times as a toddler mistakenly would call Tami "ma ma". This brought huge smiles to Tami. One night, in October, Tami passed away. She passed away in her mother's arms. For six weeks prior Pat and Jay learned that it was nearing the end of Tami's battle. It was a battle that was not to be won. Tami was so engulfed with the cancer that at night she could not lay down to sleep as she could not breathe. Pat and Jay took turns sitting up all night in Tami's bed so that she could sit up and sleep comfortably and be able to breathe. Tami was never afraid. Fact is, she talked of how she couldn't wait to meet the angels and how she hoped to be able to have wings and fly the heavens. Tami was only ten years old when she passed. Attending the funeral of Tami, I was terrified. I had never been to a child's funeral and to think I just saw Tami alive a number of weeks prior I feared attending but knew it was something I had to do. I needed to go to comfort my friend and coworker, Pat. Little did I know, it was Pat who comforted me....or should I say...it was Tami. Standing outside the funeral home, the lines were extremely long and wrapped around three rooms inside the funeral home. Many children were there with their parents as they were schoolmates of Tami. The crowd was very somber, sad, quiet...tears and nervousness was so apparent by all those waiting in line. 42
As I stood in line I watched all those who were exiting the funeral home. It struck me that many were smiling, laughing and seemed to be happy it was over that they were "out of there". My mind quickly judged, as we humans tend to do, just how wrong it was to walk out of a childs funeral laughing and smiling. Good gracious! What was wrong with those people? It was about 45 minutes later when my daughter and I stepped into the funeral home...the overwhelming smell of carnation and flowers greeted us at the doorstep. The lines wrapped around three other rooms before we entered the room where Tami lay. The very moment, and I kid you not, the very minute second that we entered that doorway an overwhelming beautiful and peaceful calm surrounded me. It was like nothing I have ever experienced in life. Just a complete "wash" came over me and as I walked up to the beautiful casket and saw Tami with her beautiful lilac colored bow on her completely bald scalp and looked down at the gorgeous lavender taffeta dress...I just knew at that very moment that she was ok. She was an angel. The feeling was almost telepathically communicated to me that Tami was saying "I'm alright and I'm free of pain. I love heaven." It was uncanny. After saying my prayer for Tami, my daughter and I got up and walked over to Pat and Jay. Both smiling and both calming all those who came to visit their precious daughter. In the background little Brianna, now nearly 2 1/2 years old was busy playing and finding new toys to take over and put in the casket with Tami. It was unlike any "wake" that I've ever seen...or experienced. It was almost a joyous occasion....internally. I cannot explain it, but I can tell you that when that "wash" came over me...that joyous feeling entered. On our way out the door...I saw a plaque above the exit of the funeral home. I will never forget the words and the words summarized the entire wake. Those words stated "Death is merely the gateway into the arms of the Lord". Wow! How profound and how true. I just knew it was true as that "wash" told me so. Three weeks went by when I stopped by to see how Pat was doing. It was then that I realized the blessings that Pat was given by God. You see...in that horrible month, three long years ago....all had it's purpose. Pat told me that had her father not passed away she would never have gotten through Tami's passing. The knowledge that her own father, Tami's grandfather, would be greeting her at heaven's gate and there to take care of her made her passing bearable. The fact that Brianna, her teenage daughters unplanned pregnancy, was born provided not only Pat and Jay with comfort and joy in watching her grow...but more importantly, she offered Tami the opportunity to "play mommy" and to help care and play with Brianna as both Pat and Jay knew that Tami would never grow to become a mommy herself. The joy was always present in that Tami "took over" with baby Brianna and the thrill of being called "mama" was something that Pat and Jay would hold in their hearts forever. Yes, Tami was able to experience the joy of loving and caring for an infant even if it was for only 2 1/2 years. Whenever I feel down and wonder "why me"...I think of my friend Pat and how blessed she was to learn the reason as to why the awful life experiences that she endured....had a purpose. So now when I feel overwhelmed I look for my purpose. Sometimes we all are lucky enough to find that purpose...and sometimes we just never know how our life experience just may have touched and made a positive impact on someone else's life. We are all blessed and I am a firm believer there is a purpose for everything. Keep the faith and perhaps like Pat and Jay, one will be able to understand just why the bad things that have happened....had true purpose.
*names changed for privacy purposes by Cynthia Caron
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