The student’s guide to getting along with roommates

Without a mutual set of boundaries, conflict can erupt between you and your roommates. Consider making a written contract or meeting regularly to avoid building up tension. CREDIT: PEXELS

ELENI KOPSAFTIS

So you’re a few weeks into living in a double room in an on-campus residence or a shared apartment in the Guelph suburbs, and all seems to be going well. You like your classes so far, the pay at your new job is good, and you’re saving a bit of money by sharing your living space with roommates. You feel great about it all… Well, except for the roommate part. You didn’t think it’d be a problem at first. Maybe your roommate was a friend from high school. Maybe you had never met them before moving in. You might have one, two, or several roommates. Either way, the freedom you felt when you finally moved out of your parents’ house might start to feel like it’s waning. Maybe it’s because they take too long to shower in the morning, borrow your clothes without asking, or scream and shout at the T.V. every time their favorite sports team scores a goal. Whichever the case, your home is supposed to be a space where you can unwind after a long day of work and study. If it doesn’t feel this way, you might be wondering how to fix it. The solution lies in both you and your roommates putting in the right amount of effort so that those pent-up tensions can begin to feel like trivial nonsense once everyone is on the same page. If you’re living with any roommates this year, try out some of these tips to make sure everybody gets along with each other.

In order for any living situation to work, you and your roommates need to be on the same page when it comes to boundaries and ground rules. Are you allowed to borrow their belongings? Can you have guests or pets? Who does which chores and when? If neither of you know each other’s thoughts and feelings on questions like these, there is potential for conflict to arise. If you have certain boundaries that are especially important to you or can’t be compromised, it’s ideal to inquire about them before deciding to live with your roommates. For example, If you own a pet and sign a lease with roommates who don’t know this, you might ruffle some feathers when you show up on moving day

with Fido in tow. Once you live with your new roomies, spend some time establishing boundaries and ground rules as soon as possible. Consider even writing them into a contract to help hold everyone accountable. If you’re living in an on-campus residence, your residence assistant might provide you with a roommate contract template. Make use of it!

If your new roomie is someone you already know, setting up boundaries might feel as if you’re putting your friendship at risk. However, getting on the same page as soon as you can will benefit you both more than potentially quarrelling over things later. Once boundaries are set, make sure to uphold them consistently or inform your roommates in advance if you need an excep At the end of the day, communication is always key. Setting boundaries is a crucial step to making any living situation work, but opinions and personal circumstances can change over time, so don’t be afraid to check in every now and then and see if the boundaries you set still apply.

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tion to be made. If you need to change your boundaries at any point, ask your roommates what they think as soon as possible!

It might also be beneficial to schedule regular meetings with all your roommates so as to make sure no one has any pent-up concerns. Figure out a convenient time that matches everyone’s schedules and get together, whether it be at your apartment or elsewhere. It’s also important to be honest with your roommates. If you’re bothered by something your roommate does but lie about it to spare their feelings, you’ll only bottle up your concerns and continue to feel upset or uncomfortable. When those concerns eventually explode or cause conflict, your roommate might genuinely be at a loss because of the lie. Similarly, don’t gossip about each other between yourselves. It’s one thing to talk behind the backs of others, but doing so with the people you live with will inevitably cause problems. If trust is broken, it’ll be significantly more difficult to maintain boundaries and uphold a conflict-resolution safe space.

It can be tempting to keep completely to yourself if you’re living with a stranger, but it helps in the long run to at least be civil with each other. Try to foster your companionship by putting some work in rather than assuming it’s enough to just be in the same space.

Ideally, you’ll want to live with someone who has common interests, and if it turns out they do, use this to your advantage when bonding with them. Common interests could include anything from your degree, hobbies, activities, likes, dislikes, or even something as minimal as sharing a favourite restaurant. You might find that after attending a few of the same classes, offering workout tips, or going on a couple lunch breaks together, you’ll feel closer than before. In general, make an effort to spend time with your roommate even if you’re having trouble figuring out your common interests. If you’re going out with friends, consider extending the invitation to your roommates. If you live in residence, there are usually lots of on-campus activities advertised. Look for some that you and your roommates might all enjoy and have the time for. Overall, bonding has everything to do with respect. Even if you don’t have all that much in common with your roommates, respecting each other’s boundaries and making a clear effort to get along with them will serve as a step towards civility and, if you’d like, maybe even a new friendship.