REALIZING

and I was like, ‘Oh, that’s normal,’ even though it wasn’t. But because I put my trust in people that I cared for, I saw that as a sense of normalcy.”

Ijin Shim ’24 was also influenced by her peers. While Shim was never diagnosed, she developed disordered eating habits at the start of her freshman year cross country season.

“There is the stereotypical runner’s body: very thin [and] lean. During the summer, we wear tank tops and sports bras to run because it is hot. You start to compare yourself to other people’s bodies, and when you realize that you don’t have that stereotypical body, you think you’re fat,” Shim said.

For some, once negative thoughts begin, they can spiral into destructive habits. Gromacki became more reliant on their anorexia as a coping mechanism for a sense of security and control, especially during their parents’ divorce.

“Eating disorders are mental. The reason that you feel like you can’t eat is because of an outside problem that you’re ignoring by taking control of your food intake. You feel like an eating disorder becomes your friend; it feels like someone that you can talk to,” Gro- macki said. “Having control around something, even if it was slowly killing me, was something that I felt comfortable with. That’s why so many people don’t want to recover, because there’s a voice in their heads being like, ‘I’m in control. I feel better this way.’”

Eating disorders affect every part of life, not just eating. Other manifestations of eating disorders include withdrawal from activities or friends and body dysmorphia. Besides significant weight loss or gain, common physical symptoms of an eating disorder include stomach cramps, fatigue, dry skin and trouble with sleep.

Due to the lack of nutrition in their body, Gromacki struggled with swollen feet and always felt cold. They also had trouble focusing in school due to constant feelings of exhaustion.

“When I was at the height of my eating disorder, I was very lightheaded. You feel like you can’t focus. Sitting in class, you’re just thinking about food all the time. But you’re also thinking,