Dear Martin I have noticed several letters in NAVVIES from chaps claiming to be elderly supporters of WRG. One of them was a youngster of 56 and another a mere 71. I was still on slab-laying duties at 71 or more - though on the home front, I must admit, rather than where I should have been. My main talent these days - such as it is - lies in trying to avoid getting in the way while being ready to help if something my doctor and missus would not disapprove of should come up. I also try to do my best as one of the 'armchair' supporters and will be having another opportunity to promote the waterways in a few days time when (DV) I shall be giving a talk to a local U3A group. The main snag is that they meet in the early afternoon, at a time when I usually suffer from paralysis of the eyelids and darkness loosens my limbs. We shall all suffer, I expect, but I shall do my best. My career really peaked at last year’s National. First off I was deputed to help 'Smudge' put up some notices - though I confess that she was usually first up the ladder while I stood at the bottom admiring the view. I mean the surroundings, of couse, and not what any of you naughty persons might be thinking. Then at the concert on Saturday night I really had my moment of glory. Once upon a time, before most of you kiddie-winks were born, I wrote a parody of the immortal 'Jerusalem'. It was called the 'Navvies’ Jerusalem', and got published in NAVVIES and also in a song-book. Oh, the fame of it! Except that the blighters who published the song-book version omitted to mention the author - or the composer either, for that matter, though he might not have been too upset bearing in mind that he died in 1918. Not so much composing these days as decomposing. OK, I know it’s an old one (courtesy of W.S.Gilbert) and in exceedingly bad taste. The Navvies’ Jerusalem was obviously a good rousing song to round off one of the marvellous entertainments that are put on at the National, and it was included as the final item last year. Not only that, but I was asked to conduct it. I was mortified that I had not got my proper clothes with me, so I shall be better prepared this year if I make it to Uddersfield, that charming place named after the cow pasture through which the canal was cut. I have looked out my gear and have been rehearsing like mad, trying to synchronise my conducting with the music. In case the Impresario in charge of the concert is able to run to a full orchestra (and I really expect no less), I have been writing out the orchestral parts, starting off with the harmonica. (Very difficult, incidentally to play the damned thing and sing at the same time, but I’m working on it. If you’re not careful you could end up swallowing it.) The first few lines go something like this: Blow, suck, suck, blow, suck, blow, suck. Blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, suck. (That last one is called a breve.) That’s as far as I have got. Who said "And a good job too"? Keep up the good work, Stan Holland PS. I have just had a go with the spell check to see whether there is an ‘e’ in the present participle of the verb ‘to whinge’. Result: it acknowledges the existence of no such word, so I have to fall back on Fowler, the great authority that pedants depend on. He says that an ‘e’ is definitely needed in ‘singeing’ to soften the ‘g’ and distinguish it from the word that refers to the uttering of musical sounds with the mouth and throat, e.g. when giving a vocal rendering of the Navvies’ Jerusalem. So you need an ‘e’, by gum.
Stan conducts 'Jerusalem'. Photo by... I don't know, I was going to say "obviously not taken by Stan", but I'm not sure it's that obvious when you're talking about somebody who can sing and play mouth-organ simultaneously.
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