A Vital Connection
He didnât realize it at the time, but working at his fatherâs restaurant taught a man who has argued cases before the Supreme Court how to be a lawyer. âby Greg Castanias â87
âYou Belong to Meâ DAD HAD A LOT OF SAYINGS.
âQuit lollygagging.â That was a favorite one, frequently invoked on the practice fields of the Jordan YMCA, where he was my grade-school football coach, intolerant of slowness or standing around idly. â284â was his stock answer to any question when he didnât know (or want to give) the answer. âDad, how many years ago did you and Mom get married?â â284.â âHow many RBIs did Yaz get last night?â â284.â âHow many eggs do we have in the refrigerator?â â284.â His most frequent expression was âKathĂste!â It was an all-purpose Greek wordâmeaning âSit!ââadjustable by simple inflection. An esteemed guest in his restaurant would receive the gracious inflection (âSit, please!â). My mother received the polite inflection (âYou sit down; Iâll get that for you.â). The adamant inflection (âSit down or else!â), by contrast, was reserved for his two sons and one miniature schnauzer. Our hairy, four-legged brother heeded the request far better than we ever did; of course, we had the only dog in Indiana who spoke Greek. Dad died three years ago. So it has been a while since anyone told me to âKathĂste!â in any tone of voice. THESE DAYS, when I find myself thinking about him, I keep coming back to yet another of his favored expressions. It was the alpha and the omega of his approach
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to customer service in his restaurants: âWhen you walk into my place, you belong to me.â No, Dad was not asserting ownership over his customers when he said that these men and women âbelonged to him.â It was his way of saying that he was going to take care of them. He might not be able to do anything about the lousy day they had at work, or the fight they had with their kids, or any of those daily stresses that are now all too familiar to me. But he could take care of them when they walked across the threshold of his restaurant. Hereâs a drink. A comfortable chair. A nice table with a view, or near the pianist. How about a plate of something delicious that you wonât have to cook or clean up after? I did not follow my dad into the restaurant business. However, when I was in college, I did spend an intense summer working side by side with him, seven days a week, 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. or later each day. Iâd drive each morning with him on the hour-plus ride from Indianapolis to Bloomington (where his restaurant was then). Weâd open the âstoreâ (as he sometimes called it); heâd start a pot of coffee; and, while he went to work on last nightâs books, Iâd start making luncheon salads, rolling pasta dough, chopping mise en place for the soon-to-arrive chef, and deveining anywhere from 20 to 50 pounds of shrimp. Then Iâd wash up and start setting up the dining rooms with linens, silver, and glassware. By the time 11:30 a.m. rolled around, I had changed into a suit and was ready to greet and seat our lunch customers. I did everything but bring them bar drinks, because I was about six
months shy of 21. When lunch ended, around 2:00, weâd grab a quick bite with the rest of the staff, close out the cash register for the books, and start all over to prepare for the dinner crowd. At the end of the night, with hundreds of my dadâs new and old friends fed and watered, weâd head back to Indianapolis, only to start again the next day. After that summer, I coined my own overused expression, the first of many as I made my fatherâs tendency for pithy sayings my own: âThe restaurant business is one of the leading causes of law school.â This was my way of saying that I was going to law school because working in a restaurant, taking care of other people like Dad did, is hard work. Plus, your fingernails smell like shrimp. What I didnât realize at the time was that Dad was actually teaching me how to be a lawyer. He was also teaching me how to be a husband. A father. A man. And it all hung on those four words: âYou belong to me.â Over time, I learned that lawyers arenât just guys who go to court. As members of one of the three original âlearned professionsâ (divinity, medicine, and law), lawyers are entrusted with the lives and livelihoods of others, much as a priest is entrusted with the spiritual well-being of his parishioners, or a doctor is entrusted with his patientsâ physical well-being. âAs my client, you belong to me.â It has become my single governing principle of client service, and it has served me well in my almost 25 years of practice. DAD LIVED THE âYOU BELONG TO MEâ
principle beyond his working life in restaurants. When one of his YMCA