PERSPECTIVE
CELEBRATING SURVIVAL HIV ON FILM
BY STEVE BOLERJACK
It’s unlikely that anyone diagnosed with HIV in the 1980s would ever have expected to appear on film one day to speak--well into the twenty-first century, no less--about living with this chronic, annoying, expensive and often still-deadly condition. Indeed, that we’re living at all is the biggest surprise. Back then, we had far bigger issues to worry about and of course, few such people are still with us. Now, to realize that such films and ensuing discussions are actually happening with reviews and tickets and film festivals—that they are even possible seems one of life’s understated ironies for those of us who saw the worst of AIDS up close and managed to get through it. Film producer, Australian native and now area resident Dan Cardone is making Desert Migration, a documentary that explores how and why HIV-positive gay men of a certain age ended up in the Palm Springs community, and what their lives are like as a result of being here. His subjects fall all along the economic spectrum--from affluent men with homes, money and good health insurance to lowerincome guys struggling to get housing, medications and a good doctor. Many of his subjects are dependent on services provided by the Desert AIDS Project (D.A.P.). Dan’s process is to tape an audio interview, then film people later going about their daily business; in my case, he shot me doing volunteer work around D.A.P., then lifting five-pound dumbells (about my limit these days) at the gym. That didn’t seem like riveting cinema, I thought, but Dan assured me it’s part of the story. I can’t speak for others, but I found the taped interview far more challenging than being in front of a camera. To his credit, Dan asked thoughtful, probing and for me, unprecedented questions. He inquired about subjects that I’d rarely discussed openly with anyone, much less written about. And I’ve written about LGBT and HIV/ AIDS issues for nearly 20 years. Much of that was about activism, funding for HIV treatment and research, civil rights and other very public matters. Dan has peered into his subjects’ very subjective points of view—delicate yet volatile questions about premature death, grief, debility, fear, aging, reliance on expensive medications, stigma, families, friends and coming out as HIV-positive. One of the most difficult was to take me back in time to the 1980s in New York and to recreate what I observed happening around me as “gay cancer,” then “GRID” and finally “AIDS” became everyday words
36 THESTANDARDPS.COM