relationships
Advice Goddess New Kid On The Bloc
I spent the last two years in the Peace Corps in Eastern Europe and just committed to another year. Before my assignment, I was dating a decent guy, but I told him it was temporary. When I was home on leave this summer, it was evident he hadn’t let the relationship go. I reiterated that I just wanted friendship, but when I was back in Europe he emailed, asking if I still love him. He’s always been really supportive, and even visited me in my first year, but I amy alkon again told him I didn’t have romantic feelings for him. He asked for time to get over us. I promised not to contact him until he contacted me. This month, after three months of silence, he messaged me saying he wanted to talk, but now he won’t respond to my emails to set up a Skype date. I miss him terribly and wonder if I made a mistake ending it with him. Then again, I’m living in a culture where women my age are all married with two kids, and I’m getting a lot of pressure to get married. —Confused Assuming you aren’t willing or able to “date local,” this guy is effectively the last man on earth for you, at least for a year. Yeah, sure, you could go on a dating site and pique some new guy’s interest, but imagine the directions for the first date: “Hop a 16-hour transatlantic flight, take three buses, transfer to the local mule cart, and tell Szylblczlka to turn left at the second group of goats in the road.” Until recently, even with thousands of miles between you, this guy’s been conveniently located: stuck on you. It sounds like you admire his good qualities — sort of in the way a great auntie appreciates her little grand-nephew’s accomplishments in the macaroni arts. But, romance? Nuh-uh. Not feelin’ it. Friendship only. And that’s final. Well, sort of final. Because, while absence, punctuated by the occasional Skype chat, couldn’t make the heart grow fonder, there’s nothing that gins up feeling in a girl like the sudden and inexplicable disappearance of a guy after years of his tonguedragging, tail-wagging, puppydog-like reliability. Adding to this allure, you’re the single lady surrounded by all these happy villager couples. This leads to you telling yourself that maybe you’re only now recognizing the guy’s wonderfulness, but what you’re really saying is “I don’t particularly have feelings for him, but he’s always had feelings for me, and I’m kinda lonely over here in Upper Eastern Wherever, where the milkmaid next door just got married at 14.” Paraphrasing Kant on how people shouldn’t be treated as means to an end, “Don’t be a user! That’s, like, so bogue.” Instead, engage in a truly humanitarian gesture — leave the guy alone so he can get you out of his system and go find somebody else. Ideally, she’ll also “miss him terribly” when they’re apart — but not simply because he’s the one man she has contact with who lacks both a wife and the belief that pink #300 sandpaper doubles for White Cloud and a glass of warm water is the week’s bath.
Casing Amy
I’m a straight man who’s become friends with two bona-fide, card-carrying lesbians. One I met hiking and the other is a coworker. Dominique and Angelique (not their real names) are both very attractive. I consider each a good friend, have lunched with them, hugged them, and met their respective unattractive partners (each of whom looks like a man). I know they are not interested in men, yet I continue to have prurient thoughts about them, and find this continuing attraction to gay women —Wrong Hots confusing.
Wait. You’re a heterosexual man who has the hots for hot women who get it on with other women? Weird. And yet, there must be other men out there who feel as you do, considering the vast selection of videos titled “Hot Lesbian Action,” and the paucity of titles like “Two Lesbian Soccer Moms Nuzzle On The Couch While Sharing A Bag Of Kale Chips.” Guess what: You aren’t attracted to gay women; you’re attracted to extremely attractive women, some of whom happen to be gay. (Not surprisingly, when coming up with aliases for your friends, you reach for names that are more stripper than lady field hockey coach.) If you’re content to remain a les-bro — a straight guy who’s friends with lesbians — your lesbian friends can provide you with priceless benefits: unlimited insight into the bizarre thinking and behavior of women. Just be sure you always keep a firm grip on the bottom line: If they were into men, they’d be dating a man instead of a woman who kind of looks like one. n ©2012, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)
48 INLANDER JANUARY 3, 2013
events | calendar Human Trafficking Awareness Day Community vigil to raise awareness of human trafficking in Eastern Washington. Jan. 11 from 5:30-6:30 pm. Women’s Hearth, 920 W. Second Ave. (343-5091) BALLE Community Capital Series Webinar presentation of a revolving loan fund in Ohio supporting local businesses through unaccredited investors. Jan. 15 from 4-5 pm. Free. Sun People Dry Goods, 32 W. Second Ave. sunpeopledrygoods.com (368-9378)
Crafts
Bead Weaving Class Beginning class on loom bead weaving. Jan. 19 from 9 am-4 pm. $85. Registration required by Jan. 12. Dahmen Barn, 419 N. Park Way, Uniontown, Wash. artisanbarn.org (229-3655)
Etc.
A Course in Miracles Theological study group. Thursdays at 7 pm. Love Your Life Center, 1111 E. Sherman Ave. Coeur d’Alene. (208-676-9912) Video Production Class Introduction to Final Cut Pro, an industry standard in video editing. Jan. 3 at 3 pm and Jan. 22 at 5 pm. $20 or free to members. Community Minded Enterprises, 25 W. Main Ave. communityminded.org (444-3088) Country Swing Lessons Learn country-style swing dancing. Jan. 3 and 10 from 7-9 pm. $5. The Roadhouse Country Rock Bar, 20 N. Raymond Rd. (413-1894) ARTS Anonymous Program for all artists who want to explore, expand and get support for their creativity, whether professional, amateur, beginning or still searching for arts expression. Saturdays from 3-4 pm. Free, donations accepted. St. Luke’s, 711 S. Cowley. (280-0325) Health & Beauty Spa Show Vendors, treatments, massages, product samples and demonstrations and more. Food and hygiene items also being collected for the YWCA Alternatives to Domestic Violence Program. Jan. 5-6, Sat. from 11 am-6 pm and Sun. from noon-5 pm. $5-$7. Spokane Community College Lair, 1810 N. Greene St. healthbeautyshow.com (218-6519) Concentration Meditation Workshop Meditation practice and dharma talk. Held on the first and third Sundays of each month. Jan. 6 and 20 at 10 am. Community Building, 25 W. Main Ave. spokaneconcentrationmeditation.org (263-7213) Spokane Moves to Amend the Constitution Community education and activist meeting. Held monthly on the second and fourth Tuesdays. Jan. 8 and 22 from 6:30-8:30 pm. Unitarian Universalist Church, 4340 W. Ft. George Wright Dr. (844-1776) Citizenship Classes Free citizenship classes and legal services for Spokane Valley residents needing to gain U.S. citizenship. Classes offered on Tuesdays and Thursdays starting Jan. 8. Free. Spokane Valley Partners, 10814 E. Broadway Ave. worldreliefspokane. org (484-9829) Community-Minded Television Orientation Learn more about Community-Minded Television and its programs at free orientations the second
Tuesday of every month. Jan. 8 at 5:30 pm. Community Minded Enterprises, 25 W. Main Ave. community-minded. org (444-3081) Spokane Compass Club Annual bingo event and luncheon. Jan. 8 at 11 am. $17. Ramada Airport Inn, 8909 W. Airport Dr. Reservations due by Jan. 3 to compassres@gmail.com (455-7789) Apollo 13: Misson Control From the creators of “Walking With Dinosaurs,” an interactive performance of NASA’s 1970 Apollo 13 mission. Jan. 9-20; show times vary. $38-$53. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. (777-6253) STEM Connections Learn about the importance of STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) and what it means for the future of the area’s youth and the economy. Jan. 10 from 7:30-10 am. $10-$25. The Lincoln Center, 1316 N. Lincoln. spokanestem.org (321-3625) Undiscovered Worlds Explore what other planets exist outside of our solar system. Jan. 11 at 7 pm. $3-$6. SFCC Planetarium, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. spokanefalls.edu (533-3569) Bridal Festival Vendors, demos, prizes and more. Jan. 12-13. $7. Spokane Convention Center, 334 W. Spokane Falls Blvd. bridalfest.com (208773-7049) Intro to TV Production Learn the basics of TV production including lights, cameras and audio gear. Jan. 15 at 5 pm. $20 or free to members. Community Minded Enterprises, 25 W. Main Ave. community-minded.org (444-3088)
weekend countdown
Get the scoop on this weekend’s events with our newsletter. Visit Inlander.com/newsletter to sign up.
Open House Explore career options available through the college, tour the facility and meet with faculty and other students. Jan. 15 from 11 am-7 pm. Free. Carrington College, 10102 E. Knox Ave. (532-8888) Mobius Kids Science Workshop Learn about electricity by building a circuit board to light up the room. Jan. 16 from 4-5 pm. $10-$15. Mobius Kids, 808 W. Main Ave. mobiusspokane.org (624-5437) CenterPlace Open House Tour the facility, sample food from the in-house caterer, meet with vendors and more. Jan. 17 from 4-7 pm. Free. CenterPlace Regional Event center, 2426 N. Discovery Place. spokanevalley.org (720-5405) Black Holes See realistic simulations of the science of black holes including their formation and a look at the Milky Way’s own black hole. Jan. 18 at 7 pm. $3-$6. SFCC Planetarium, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. spokanefalls.edu (533-3569) Black & White Ball Formal event benefiting the Coeur d’Alene Symphony Orchestra with dancing, no-host bar, silent auction and more. Jan. 19 from 7-9 pm. $25. Best Western Coeur d’Alene Inn, 506 W. Appleway Blvd. (208-765-3200) Intro to Your Camera Learn how to operate a camera and shoot video. Jan. 24 at 5 pm. $20 or free to mem-
bers. Community Minded Enterprises, 25 W. Main Ave. community-minded. org (444-3088) Oasis in Space Learn where water comes from in the cosmos and the conditions necessary for it to exist as a life-giving liquid. Jan. 25 at 7 pm. $3-$6. SFCC Planetarium, 3410 W. Fort George Wright Dr. spokanefalls.edu (533-3569)
Film
Wreck-It Ralph Animated family comedy. Jan. 3-6. Times vary. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. Moscow, Idaho. (208-882-4127) Breakfast at Tiffany’s Screening as part of the Audrey Hepburn Film Festival Jan. 7 at 7 pm. $4. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. Moscow, Idaho. kenworthy.org (208-882-4127) Casablanca Classic film starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman shown as part of the library’s “Hollywood Goes to War” film series. Jan. 9 at 5:30 pm. Free. Downtown Library, 906 W. Main Ave. (444-5336) Poisoned Waters Documentary on pollution in America’s waterways. Discussion on the Spokane River to follow. Jan. 10 from 7-9 pm. Free. Indaba Coffee, 1425 W. Broadway. washington. sierraclub.org (939-1290) The Perks of Being a Wallflower Drama based on the novel by Stephen Chbosky. Jan. 10-13. Times vary. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. Moscow, Idaho. (208-882-4127) Funny Face Screening as part of the Audrey Hepburn Film Festival Jan. 14 at 7 pm. $4. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St., Moscow. (208-882-4127) Life of Pi Based on the bestselling novel by Yann Martel. Jan. 17-20. Times vary. $3-$6. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St., Moscow. (208-882-4127) 180 Degrees South Screening of the documentary “180 Degrees South: Conquerors of the Useless.” Jan. 17 at 4 pm. Free. Sun People Dry Goods, 32 W. Second Ave. (368-9378) Roman Holiday Screening as part of the Audrey Hepburn Film Festival Jan. 21 at 7 pm. $4. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St., Moscow. (208-882-4127) Banff Mountain Film Festival Touring outdoor adventure film festival. Jan. 24-26 at 7 pm. Panida Theater, 300 N. First Ave. Sandpoint, Idaho. panida.org (208-263-9191)
Food
Winemaking 101 Learn the basics of fermentation and how to make your own wine. Jan. 5 from 2-5 pm. $15, preregistration required. Sun People Dry Goods, 32 W. Second Ave. sunpeopledrygoods.com (368-9378) Mead Tasting Sample flight of five honey meads. Jan. 5 from 2-4 pm. $5/ flight. Huckleberry’s, 926 S. Monroe. (624-1349) Bardenay Soups Chef Nick Mikkelson of Bardenay Restaurant teaches a class on soup making. Jan. 9 at 5:30 pm. $50. Jacklin Arts & Cultural Center, 405 N. Williams St. Post Falls. jacklincenter.org (208-457-8950) Sushi 101 Learn the basic ingredients and equipment needed to get started making sushi with Chef Jim Wolters. Jan. 10 from 6-8 pm. $50. INCA at SCC,