SJC LIVING PROFILES OF OUR COMMUNITY
GUEST OPINION: Four Kids and a Dog by Elizabeth Bottiaux
GUEST OPINION: On Live and Love After 50 by Tom Blake
Camping is for the Birds
In Life, Opportunity Often Arises from Adversity
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very summer, families eagerly pack up their belongings and head out to the wild blue yonder. They pay good money to rent a dusty plot of land in the dirt where they pitch a tent and pretend they’re homeless for several days. It escapes me why people love this odd ritual. At this year’s multi-family campout, we decided to go big or go home. We forked over the big bucks to rent an overpriced 28-foot motor home. After last year’s tent camping experience at the annual family campout, I thought so-called “glamping” might ease the pain of camping for me. I’ll admit that it was indeed a step up from flimsy tent camping next to the constantly flushing, mega-loud restrooms we endured last year. At 5 every morning, no fewer than 5,000 squawking black crows descend greedily upon the campground. Campers are rudely awakened. Sleep ceases. Rangers seem to overlook their selfimposed rule of 10 p.m.-8 a.m. quiet time. Campers are noisy until late at night. Since the primary goal of that particular campground is to cram as many motorized vehicles and electronic devices into its vast concrete jungle as humanly possible, it’s not your average getaway-from-it-all trip in the woods. After two nights in the motor home with our four kids and their two friends, I’d had quite enough. Whoever coined the term “glamping,” should know that there’s really nothing glamorous about it. The impending dirt that constantly threatened to overtake every square inch of the minuscule space combined with the stinky toilet, the ever-shifting temporary home on wheels and piles of filthy clothes, is, in my humble opinion, overrated. As an adult, camping seems like endless work. There’s the packing. Clothes for all types of weather and situations, meals, snacks, sleeping bags, swim gear, bikes and toiletries are just the beginning. Then there’s that matter of cooking over an open fire or a discombobulated portable
Sudoku BY MYLES MELLOR Solution:
Each Sudoku puzzle consists of a 9x9 grid that has been subdivided into nine smaller grids of 3x3 squares. To solve the puzzle, each row, column and box must contain each of the numbers 1 to 9. Puzzles come in three grades: easy, medium and difficult. Level: Medium The Capistrano Dispatch July 8–21, 2016
stove. Trying to keep the camper or tent swept and filth-free is impossible. Growing up, our family camped. We’d camp where showers and paved roads didn’t exist. Stinky portable toilets packed full of human waste or digging a hole in the woods were the only options when nature called. We’d swim all day in the river and relax by the campfire before crawling into our faded green canvas tent to sleep at night. I’m not sure how the adults involved felt, but we kids FOUR KIDS loved camping. AND A DOG There was one campBy Elizabeth Bottiaux ing trip in my adult life that I truly enjoyed. Our family joined forces with another family who were avid campers. Their favorite type of cooking was over a campfire using a big black rustic cauldron. We reaped the benefits of camping with experienced campers who, even as adults, enjoyed camping. They brought most of the necessary camp supplies. Our site backed up to a secluded, gently flowing river that our kids played in endlessly. Kids these days have far too much screen time and not enough stream time. Phones and other devices seduce our children into hours of inactivity. Camping is a way for kids to explore and enjoy the great outdoors. It allows kids freedom and opportunities they may not otherwise have at home. Elizabeth Bottiaux is mom to four small humans, ages 4, 6, 8 and 10. She’s a San Clemente resident and has lived in Orange County for the past 16 years. She publishes a blog, www.fourkidsandadog.com, about family life in our tri-city area. CD PLEASE NOTE: In an effort to provide our readers with a wide variety of opinions from our community, The Capistrano Dispatch provides Guest Opinion opportunities in which selected columnists’ opinions are shared. The opinions expressed in these columns are entirely those of the columnist alone and do not reflect those of the The Capistrano Dispatch or Picket Fence Media. If you would like to respond to this column, please email us at editorial@ thecapistranodispatch.com.
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oday’s column begins my 23rd year of writing about finding love after 50. My first column appeared on July 4, 1994, in a local Dana Point newspaper. Back then I wasn’t a writer, just a guy who owned Tutor and Spunky’s, a Dana Point deli. On Christmas Eve, 1993, my life changed dramatically when my wife of six years—without informing me of her intentions—cleaned out the house and moved away. I was so surprised and shocked that I started keeping a journal to try to gather my thoughts. Shortly thereafter, an unknown man came into the deli during lunchtime, and said, “Are you Tom Blake?” I smiled and said yes, thinking we had a new customer. He handed me an envelope, saying, “You are being served with divorce papers.” Soon, I became single, free to date again. I added the events of each day to my journal. I thought mid-life dating was going to be easy. After all, I owned a deli where lots of attractive women came in for ON LIFE AND lunch, many of them half LOVE AFTER 50 my age or less. By Tom Blake I quickly discovered that South Orange County women had no interest in dating a newly divorced, 53-year-old guy, who was bitter at how the divorce gods had treated him. With every failed dating experience, I added to the journal. After six months, my journal had grown to more than 100 pages. I converted it to a short story. I naively queried Playboy, Esquire and the New York Times, thinking they might be interested in a story about a divorced man’s dating woes. Eventually, two women editors of the Dana Point paper agreed to review my material. They felt that single women in Southern California would have a field day belittling my woe-is-me, feeling-sorry-for-myself, age50+, single-guy-can’t-get-a-date saga. The two editors gave me my first writing opportunity, and they were right. After my initial column, titled, “Home Alone with Only Dogs for Company,” appeared, a woman said: “Who is this sniveling puke?” Another said, “Get the boy a crying towel.” The column soon appeared in 10 local area newspapers and for eight years in the Orange County Register. In June 1998, I met Greta, my life partner. Women readers told me my writing became less controversial and more palat-
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able after she entered my life. I’ve written approximately 3,500 articles and newsletters on finding love after 50; writing on this topic has been good to me. I’ve published four books and have been interviewed by Matt Lauer on the Today show and Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America—humbling experiences for a deli guy. In 2011, Norb Garrett, CEO of Picket Fence Media and publisher of the Dana Point Times, San Clemente Times and The Capistrano Dispatch, invited me to write for his newspapers. In my 23 years of writing, I have never been associated with such a hard-working, friendly and warm group of people. My writing scope has broadened from finding love after 50 to “On Life and Love after 50,” as older singles deal with personal issues often beyond the scope of just dating and seeking love. My advice is applicable to people ages 45 to 90. Yes, I do know people in their 90s who have found love. While my articles target singles, approximately 35 percent of my readers are married. Many tell me that reading about the hardships singles endure encourages them to appreciate their spouses more and to work harder at making their marriages last. My advice to married couples is usually pretty simple: stay together and work out the issues. The most valuable lesson I’ve learned from this writing experience: opportunity often arises from adversity, and it’s up to us as individuals to recognize the opportunity and make the best of it, although we may not see or understand it until months or years later. I enjoy hearing from readers. Your comments, questions and observations are the meat and potatoes that help keep the column ongoing. Email me at tompblake@gmail.com and I will respond quickly. Tom Blake is a Dana Point resident and a former Dana Point businessman who has authored several books on middleaged dating. His latest book can be found online at www.smashwords.com/books/ view/574810. See his website at www. findingloveafter60.com (Yes, after 60, time rolls on). CD PLEASE NOTE: In an effort to provide our readers with a wide variety of opinions from our community, The Capistrano Dispatch provides Guest Opinion opportunities in which selected columnists’ opinions are shared. The opinions expressed in these columns are entirely those of the columnist alone and do not reflect those of the The Capistrano Dispatch or Picket Fence Media. If you would like to respond to this column, please email us at editorial@ thecapistranodispatch.com.
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