OPINION
November 12, 2013 shipspeaks@gmail.com
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‘Will you marry me?’ What is on my mind: Cara Shumaker Editor-in-Chief
At some point in her life, every girl dreams of hearing these four words. Usually, she expects that question to be accompanied by a diamond ring too. But, when is the ideal time to get that bling and answer that question? As of 2012, the average age for a man to pop the question is about 28 and women are saying “Yes” around age 26, according to marriage.about.com. Twenty years ago, men were 26.5 and women were 24.5 years old when they decided to tie the knot. However, I am going against the norm and getting married at 21. I got engaged shortly before my
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20th birthday, when I was 19. Because Americans are getting married older, when I announced my engagement to my family and friends, I faced a lot of backlash. Aside from the usual, “You’re too young” spiels, I heard, “Well, don’t you want to live your life?” I received disapproving looks and sarcastic “good lucks” too. I can see everyone’s hesitancy on the topic since we live in a culture in which more than 50 percent of marriages fail and Hollywood marriages are considered successful if they last six weeks, let alone six years. But, facing piles of negativity from people who I thought would support me has made me wonder if my marriage will fail. Then I
remember that I am not my critics. Just because their marriages or their friends’ marriages failed does not doom mine. Am I ready to get married at 21? Probably not, but who really is, even at 28? I like to think I am more prepared for marriage after a two-year engagement than I would have been after just a one-year or shorter engagement though. There is a different dynamic to being engaged compared to dating. There is more commitment, just like there is more commitment in a marriage than there is in an engagement. Any relationship takes work. The amount of work you and the other are willing to put into the relationship will determine its success, not society.
What kind of relationship are you in?
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Adrian Sipes
Staff Columnist What is on my mind right now is the recent decision of Timothy E. Bowers, 32, of Decatur, Ind., to end his life Sunday by telling doctors to remove his breathing tube, according to CNN.com. Bowers, who was hunting in his tree stand Saturday afternoon when he fell 16 feet to the ground, was paralyzed because of a spinal injury and paralysis, according to CNN.com. Ironically, not too long before the accident Bowers had a conversation with his family and wife proclaiming his disinterest in living in a wheelchair. He did not want to ever have to do it. Bowers’ family reportedly asked him personally if he wanted to live life in a wheel-
chair and Bowers shook his head no. According to CNN. com, this is a decision that Arthur L. Caplan, medical ethicist at New York University, believes is likely to change for patients after they have had a few days for the issue to fully sink in. Yet with Bowers’ previous statements, doctors and his family was positive about his decision. Bowers reportedly passed away Sunday evening. I support and see why Bowers would wish to end his life instead of living the rest of his life in a wheelchair. If it were me, I do not think I would like to live that way either. However, according to CNN.com, Bowers and his wife were expecting a baby. That is such a tough situation that I do not know what I would do. Leaving behind a wife and child would be a heart-wrenching decision to
make, but Bowers made it. Throughout this ordeal, Bowers and his family were strong through their decision making. This just goes to show that at some point or other in your life it is important to have this conversation with family and friends were something to ever arise. It is difficult, awkward and most definitely scary but it needs to be done. I myself have never given this subject much thought until I heard about Bowers and his unfortunate accident. I also understand why someone would never wish to speak of something like this unless the accident actually happened. However, were this conversation not to take place before his accident, Bowers request to remove his breathing tube may have been denied or further postponed — causing him to suffer more in a way he wished not to endure.
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