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Do I look fat: Is honesty the best policy? JACK
Special to the Torch Most of the time, I’m a deep and thoughtful person who considers whatever you say very seriously. But when you ask me, “Do I look fat in this?” My brain goes on auto-pilot. IT doesn’t matter what you look like squeezing into that size 0, I automatically say “No, babe you look great/fine/cute.” I hate to be a liar (and nine times out of 10 in this case, I’m not lying), but I just don’t see the benefit of answering the question honestly. If I say you look fat, I may accidentally cause you to throw away your best and most expensive outfit. Secondly, I know exactly what you really look like. Your most slimming black outfit won’t suddenly convince me that you look like Giselle Bundchen, and your blouse that’s white with horizontal stripes won’t fool me into thinking you’re the same size as Queen Latifah. What does it matter what you look like? Most importantly, I’m nearly certain that I’m the only person you are going to ask this question. This means that if I answer it honestly and say that you do look fat, then I’m the person who’s insulted you the most that night, and thus the
person that you will be the least happy with, at least subconsciously. The real question is to you: Why are you putting me under this undue pressure? The person that you see in the mirror is pretty much what I see when I look at you. You can see just as well as I can whether you look fat, and you’re undoubtedly your harshest critic. If you’re not sure whether you look fat, you almost certainly don’t. If you think you do, and are asking me for confirmation, that’s unnecessary, and borderline diabolical. The point is this: there’s no right answer to this question. So why ask it? Why subject me to mental anguish, or worse, disengagement? Why not just let me admire you in silence? I hate to ascribe ulterior motives to you, but when you ask the question, I feel like you’re testing me. And it’s a test that’s impossible to pass. Why else would you take the chance of asking me to either insult you or lie to you? There’s a reason why I don’t ask you if I look ridiculous when I’m in my extra-large St. John’s basketball jersey with skinny jeans. I love you — I love how you look, no matter the outfit, and I want you to be happy. If you wear something that’s not so flattering, I’ll chalk it up to your generally excellent fashion radar being a little off. But I will never, ever tell you that you look fat. Like, ever.
JILL
Special to the Torch
When I ask you “Do I look fat?”, I expect you to be honest, but not too honest. I mean if I look like a cow, then yes, please tell me, but if you’re saying I look fat just because you don’t like my style, then keep it to yourself. I spend too much time and money on my clothes. I buy all these fabulous dresses, skirts, shirts, jeans etc. because I love them. Trust me. I don’t waste my money on things that I don’t think would look good on me. If I put something on and I don’t have to stare at myself for more than two minutes in the mirror, I like it. If you don’t like it, keep your opinion to yourself. All I’m asking for is for you to be honest when it comes to my weight. Every girl whether she’s underweight, overweight or “normal” has insecurities. These insecurities can bring our self esteem down and even cause problems with our relationship. Think about it, if you were uncomfortable in your skin, your insecurities could put a strain on our relationship. I ask you if I look nice because I care about us. I represent our relationship, and if I look
bad, well then, our relationship looks bad too. Sometimes I feel like I look good but it’s nice to have a second opinion. If my jeans don’t fit correctly, please tell me. The last thing I want is to look bad when we’re in front of people. If my stomach is popping out of my dress maybe it’s time to suck it up and buy an extra size larger. When I say “be honest” I mean it, but don’t get carried away. The last thing I want to hear is that I look fat all the time. I want your honest opinion keep in mind, it still hurts to hear that answer. Yes, we can be confusing but if you really want to be with me, learning the secrets of how a woman thinks shouldn’t just be some annoying task. I know you love me no matter what I look like, but it would kill me to be an embarrassment to you. When we go out with friends, I want to look good! Who wants their girlfriend to look unattractive when they’re with all their friends? Yeah, yeah, beauty is found within, blah, blah, blah. But I know that there are days where my shirt is a little too tight or my leopard print bra is showing through my white shirt and you’re thinking, “what’s up with this girl?” I want to eliminate those thoughts all together and start having a more open relationship. Your honesty is the first step. But only if I ask.
Hopefully Rushin’ to the hall of fame PETER LONG
Entertainment Editor
There have only been two bands that I’d listened to for the first time that made an immediate impact on me. An immediate impact that provided a feeling that exudes excitement and a desire for more. The first band to do that was N’Sync. Come on, be honest, who didn’t like those shiny, bright pop songs about girls, heartbreak and the tough times growing up in an upper-middle class family in suburban Florida. Who didn’t?! Anyone? Alright, fine. The next band to rock my psyche was the Canadian power trio Rush. The first song that I heard by them was “The Spirit of Radio” off 1980’s Permanent Waves. It hit me like nothing had hit me before. The opening arpeggios of Alex Lifeson’s guitar rang up and down my spinal cord, Geddy Lee sounded like a chick and Neil Peart’s drums were thunderous. He made me want to be a drummer for about 15 minutes until I said to myself, “no, Peter, you play trombone, you wish you could play drums like Neil Peart, but you can’t, stop it.” No other band since Rush has been
able to do that to me, and I’m not quite sure why. Was it because I had coincidentally gone through my Canadian classic rock phase during my sophomore year of high school? Perhaps. I just thought they were musically and visually more interesting than other band I had listened to. Musically because they used an assortment of different textures and instruments that at the time had never been used before, they were in fact the first band to effectively use the synthesizer before any artist that had released music in the 1980’s. Visually, believe it or not, they were more of a spectacle than they were musically because they acted and looked like themselves. The latter statement led me to this conclusion: I enjoy what Rush stands for more than I enjoy the music of Rush. I like Rush because they are who they are. They never pretended to be someone they were not. In the 1970’s, an era where glam and decadence were considered cool and were considered an effective way to gain popularity and sell records, Rush were the antithesis. They didn’t look or act pretty. Lee had hair down to his butt, Lifeson had bad teenage-esque skin into his 40’s and Neil Peart never really smiled and never gave interviews because he let his drums do the talking for him. They
wrote lyrics that were extremely philosophical and somewhat esoteric. I mean, who writes lines like “quiet and pensive, my thoughts apprehensive”? Or even something like “but glittering prizes and endless compromises shatter the illusion of integrity”? I have no idea what any of that means whatsoever, but they made it rock harder than anything I will ever hear. While some people have never liked nor understood Rush, they have to respect them for being themselves and for introducing ideas and concepts that, many would argue, could be considered precursors to alternative rock. So after hearing the news this week about Rush being nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, my response was “it’s about time.” Not only had Rush made an impact on the music of their generation, but they made perhaps an even bigger impact on musicians today as The Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan, Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor and Mettalica’s Kirk Hammet have testified in favor of Rush being the most genuine, unique and understated band in the history of music. It just so happens that this year is also the first year that the Hall is offering the fan’s to vote for an artist to be inducted. So here is my shameless plug for Rush; to end the ridiculousness of Rush not being in the Rock and Roll Hall of
Fame, log onto rockhall.com and vote for three of the greatest musicians that rock has ever seen. Rush is good and all, but pick up next week’s issue of the Torch to hear my case for the induction of Grand Funk Railroad! Peter Long is a junior journalism major. He can be reached at torchent@gmail.com.
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