The former model reflects on her musical journey in four cities. Oslo (part one)
As a kid in Norway, when everyone else was obsessed with Beverly Hills, 90210, I joined the marching band, where I was handed a clarinet, began playing piano and got a good foundation of musical theory. I quit the clarinet early and continued with the piano until I became an angsty teenager. Norwegians tend to start partying early on, and with this hazy new world came an obsession with music, especially hip-hop. I was introduced to the guitar. Life was all right, but something dark was clouding my mind until I got the urge to jack it all in. A week later I moved to New York, not knowing what to expect, at age 17.
New York
I was lucky to instantly land great jobs, and with these jobs came travel. I learned to create a bubble around myself to deal with the shallow judgements in my job. This skill was okay for a while, but it’s not good to be so detached. When 9/11 happened, I was living three blocks away and had to run when the first tower fell. I remember being knee deep in ash, certain I was going to die while running east on Wall Street. Anxiety issues ensued. Mind clouds. But work went on. I spent a lot of time writing stories alone on airplanes. Someone (then) special bought me my first electric guitar and amp. I discovered Swans, Royal Trux and Sun City Girls. I then moved to London for that (then) someone special.
London
I hated London that first year but slowly started understanding its dark humor and linguistic charms. Dub music, Stephen Fry, Blake. Being
here has hardened me. I kept playing the guitar, drum machines and basic recording equipment. My personal state of mind and personal life were in decline, and the songs I wrote reflected that. It all ended in heartbreak, major anxiety problems, a decent amount of demos and the first studio session in Oslo. The results were really something: the beginning of my first album, and what appeared to help me out of the dirt.
Los Angeles
When I first went to LA, work tended to put me in a showy Beverly Hills hotel; I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to live in such a shallow world. But I found it fascinating to observe those mainstream “ideals.” Bimbo plastic—you got the money, they can’t say no. Lipgloss. Men that look like pigs and think fucking should be like they do in their porn collection. The ultimate place to crash and burn for people desperate for attention. On later visits, I discovered more sides to LA: faded beautiful pastels, kitsch houses, Mexico everywhere, the vegetation, the freaks, the sea, the desert, the sun.
Oslo (part two)
During my years away from Oslo, I grew to dislike the embarrassing ignorance in certain areas. I’d see my small group of friends and family, then get the fuck out. But when I started working with these amazing musicians, I discovered the majority of people aren’t ignorant, solarium-tanned fucks. I have split most of my time between London and Oslo ever since, and it’s been great. — Tap here to read more from Carmen. ST—017